Scam Callers

phone16The professor was sitting by the phone when it rang.

It was one of those phony numbers.

You know, a scam call of sorts, but I picked up anyway.

“Hello?”

The voice was foreign, hardly understandable.

“Hi…is this VJ Duke?”

“No,” I answered, “this is Professor VJ Duke. VJ Duke isn’t home.”

“Do you know when VJ Duke will return?”

“It’s likely never,” I said. “I kinda pushed him out of his house, you know.”

There was some silence.

Then finally: “Sir, do I have to call the police?”

“That wouldn’t be very nice of you,” I answered. “Plus, where’s your Christmas spirit?”

“Sir! What have you done with VJ Duke?”

This professor must admit: I was surprised by how this fellow was getting worked up by the whole matter. And I couldn’t resist being even more wicked.

“I’ve done with him as he deserves.”

“You either tell me, or I call the police!”

“Well, okay, I’ll tell you. See here, VJ Duke said to me: ‘Professor VJ Duke, I want you to kill me. For in an hour or so, some annoying scam caller is going to call here, and I don’t want to have speaks with a scam caller. I’d rather be dead.’ So, I killed him to save him from you—if that makes sense.”

Click.

The police never came. I suppose the fellow learned a lesson.

Icons made by Zurb from www.flaticon.com is licensed by CC BY 3.0
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157 Responses to “Scam Callers”


  1. 1 Hazy December 21, 2014 at 15:04

    The Professor was very nice to save VJ Duke from such a no-good scam caller. I think the Police thought the caller was a scam caller and never bothered to respond.

    I do wonder a tad bit who this annoying scam caller is… Did he attempt to disguise his voice?

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke December 21, 2014 at 23:23

      There you are! I wonder what they do when they get such calls.

      I don’t think so. Probably a hacker! (Hazy, do you suppose I should record a few and post them?)

      • 3 Hazy December 26, 2014 at 01:22

        Oh, definitely! the recordings could probably serve as evidence for the police too.

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke December 26, 2014 at 15:46

        Very good point.

  2. 5 lifeconfusions December 20, 2014 at 07:58

    That was a very clever response Mr.Professor ! Gotta give it you for this *takes my hat off* ;) :D

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke December 20, 2014 at 15:31

      *bows* So many thanks! Do you suppose I should record those conversations?

  3. 7 The Lite Rider December 19, 2014 at 21:16

    Laughing, chuckling, and laughing more — and that was just for how you answered the phone. So confounding! Ha, ha. Worked great on the scam caller!

    • 8 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2014 at 22:05

      It did! Should I record them?

      • 9 The Lite Rider December 21, 2014 at 20:20

        Why? Nah.

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke December 21, 2014 at 23:26

        Make a video of sorts, I think.

  4. 11 rmk December 18, 2014 at 20:14

    Very funny. Thanks for sharing.

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 20:51

      My pleasure! Did you have a favorite character?

      • 13 rmk December 19, 2014 at 03:40

        I mostly hate scam callers so it was a humourous spin on the annoyance. One of the two dudes named VJ would be my pick.

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2014 at 15:46

        Cool! Do you think one recorded call would be neatio?

      • 15 rmk December 20, 2014 at 00:56

        Would you be recording the scam caller or are you talking about being called by recording?

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke December 20, 2014 at 15:22

        I would record our whole conversation! Then have a video as well.

  5. 17 L. Marie December 18, 2014 at 17:56

    Quick thinking! Perhaps this caller will think twice about calling you again. You may never get another sales call again. A definite plus!

    • 18 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 20:48

      It will be! How many do you think one gets in a year?

  6. 19 The Indecisive Eejit December 17, 2014 at 20:52

    I so hate cold / scam callers. When they ask for me now I always say “Sorry, who is it you’re looking for?” while sounding very confused. They usually hang up :)

    • 20 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 03:31

      Nice. That’s a great come back. Do they call back though ever?

      • 21 The Indecisive Eejit December 24, 2014 at 20:30

        Probably, they all sounds the same to me to be honest, even the ones from Belfast, the silence at the start of the call is a give away so I just tune out lol

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke December 26, 2014 at 15:41

        *laughing* That’s true! You’re like, “hello”, and there’s silence for a time.

      • 23 The Indecisive Eejit December 30, 2014 at 20:36

        The worst thing though is that in my stupidity I feel I need to fill the silence and start saying Hello twenty different ways, like heeeeeeelloooooooooo, yo, etc as if that’s going to make them speak to me. Perhaps they just ring me to hear that lol

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke December 31, 2014 at 02:09

        Okay, that just made me laugh. I do think I know what you mean. You know, I love saying “yo”. I think it’s my favorite greeting.

  7. 25 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister December 17, 2014 at 20:49

    You didn’t, did you??? Haha…I wish I could have been there to hear you. *laughing so much* I tried telemarketing in college. I lasted two days. I hated interrupting people. One time I asked for a man and his wife said he was dead. I felt horrible. Maybe she was lying to me. I’m far too trusting, I fear.

    • 26 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 03:30

      Ooo…yeah, I did calls once…political thing. I felt bad too. I just don’t like it. Now, Audith, you must try this…next time you get a scam call, right?

      • 27 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister December 18, 2014 at 05:10

        Umm, I’m not sure I could talk to them with a straight face. I’d be a blushing mess. Plus, I’m a terrible liar. They’d know…

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 20:05

        I’m a terrible liar, too! Unlike what you think!!!!

      • 29 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister December 18, 2014 at 22:54

        *giggle* You know….”I have evidence, your honor!!!!”

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2014 at 15:25

        You do not! (do you?)

      • 31 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister December 19, 2014 at 18:24

        I shan’t say… (no :( )

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2014 at 22:02

        Hmm…but isn’t that saying it?

      • 33 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister December 20, 2014 at 05:33

        Yes! I’m pitiful.

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke December 20, 2014 at 15:31

        We all are.

      • 35 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister December 20, 2014 at 18:19

        Not all of us, you know.

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke December 21, 2014 at 23:03

        No?

      • 37 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister December 23, 2014 at 00:21

        No. Tis true. Some are right on, I’d bsaym

  8. 38 rolerrol December 17, 2014 at 18:49

    Very bold Professor………and crazy!!! 😁

    Rolain

    • 39 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 03:23

      Hey Rolain! Good to see you! It sure was. Do you suppose it was bit mean of me?

      • 40 rolerrol December 18, 2014 at 05:36

        No…. The caller needed to learn how to brighten up a bit! You handled it very well…..excellently done Professor!! 😄

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 20:10

        *bows* I do appreciate it! Was I like a warrior?

      • 42 rolerrol December 18, 2014 at 20:15

        Yes indeed….! 😁

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 20:52

        Nice! I’m always trying to be, you know.

  9. 44 Debbie December 17, 2014 at 18:17

    Professor, I’m in awe over your cleverness and resourcefulness! Why can’t I ever come up with something that brilliant when I get those nuisance calls (and even one of them is too many, you know!). Well done, sir *tips hat*

    • 45 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 03:23

      *bows many times and makes sure his hat doesn’t fall off* I do appreciate it! Thank you. I gave him a what for! Annoying little bloke. He was messing with me, Debbie.

  10. 46 walt walker December 17, 2014 at 17:56

    Way to give him the what for, Old Sport.

    • 47 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 03:22

      *smiles bigly big* Thanks! I was thinking Dick might do something like that.

  11. 48 John W. Howell December 17, 2014 at 17:48

    Like this. I always ask for their phone number and offer to call back when they are eating dinner but yours is better.

    • 49 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 03:22

      That’s great! What do they say?

      • 50 John W. Howell December 18, 2014 at 13:23

        *click*

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 20:16

        *nods* That’s the best thing they could do.

  12. 52 Simply Skeptical December 17, 2014 at 17:42

    Yes! If we would all do the same it might end those useless, time wasteful, annoying calls. Good Job Prof!!!

    • 53 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 03:22

      *bows* Many thanks! I just had enough of it.

  13. 54 Susan P December 17, 2014 at 16:47

    Can I forward those annoying calls to your phone? I usually just hang up, but this sounds much more entertaining.

    • 55 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 03:21

      It’s so fun. I should record some, huh?

      • 56 Susan P December 18, 2014 at 11:53

        Please do!

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 20:15

        *wonders how to go about it* And then post them all over the place!

      • 58 Susan P December 18, 2014 at 22:36

        Over the river and through the woods, too.

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2014 at 15:24

        To the professor’s house?

      • 60 Susan P December 20, 2014 at 01:40

        If you are throwing a party, dadblameit I will.

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke December 20, 2014 at 15:22

        Very good. I shall have to throw one, then.

  14. 62 weggieboy December 17, 2014 at 16:44

    I never am that playful with them. I think this is a new model for having a cheap good time!

    • 63 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 03:20

      It is! It’s such great fun.

  15. 64 InfiniteZip December 17, 2014 at 16:39

    What if he were a long lost cousin you had never met? Or perhaps he had a free prize for you….guess you won’t know now.

    • 65 Susan P December 17, 2014 at 16:49

      I would say that someone playing that sort of trick deserves whatever he gets.

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 03:21

        Like a kick in the head!

      • 67 Susan P December 18, 2014 at 11:53

        That seems a little violent.

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 20:15

        The professor is usually.

      • 69 Susan P December 18, 2014 at 22:37

        I had noted that. Why do you suppose that is?

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2014 at 15:24

        Because I’m a warrior?

      • 71 Susan P December 20, 2014 at 01:39

        Or a worrier?

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke December 20, 2014 at 15:22

        Never one of those!

      • 73 Susan P December 20, 2014 at 20:46

        That is good, right?

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke December 21, 2014 at 23:08

        Definitely!

      • 75 Susan P December 22, 2014 at 13:03

        *dances a Virginia Reel*

    • 76 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 03:20

      Nah…do you suppose it’s a possibility, Zippy? I mean…do you really think so?! *worries now*

      • 77 InfiniteZip December 18, 2014 at 10:35

        Could it be true? Or maybe it was me…I have an accent….

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 20:11

        You do? Nice! What sort of one?

  16. 79 erinkenobi2893 December 17, 2014 at 16:32

    Served that scam caller right! X-P

    • 80 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 03:19

      *high-five* Wasn’t that awesome of me?

      • 81 erinkenobi2893 December 18, 2014 at 14:06

        It was! ^_^

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 20:21

        *laughs* Must go do it again!

      • 83 erinkenobi2893 December 19, 2014 at 01:48

        YES!!! :-D

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2014 at 15:46

        And record it?

      • 85 erinkenobi2893 December 21, 2014 at 14:36

        You should!! :-D :-D :-D

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke December 21, 2014 at 23:22

        Well…it would be great fun!

      • 87 erinkenobi2893 December 23, 2014 at 14:21

        Yes, it would! :-D

  17. 88 Angeline M December 17, 2014 at 16:11

    Love how you handled this pesky call. My husband quickly got rid of one scam caller selling magazines when he told her that he was blind (he’s not). One always has to be on their toes when answering these calls.

    • 89 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 03:19

      *laughing* That was ingenious of him! I would give anything to hear what she said back…

  18. 90 FictionFan December 17, 2014 at 16:09

    You murdered VJ Duke?!? You’ve been spending too much time with Manly-Man again, haven’t you? Mind you, I do understand the impulse…

    • 91 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 03:18

      *mouth drops* You understand the impulse to murder me?! *squints eyes like a parrot*

      • 92 FictionFan December 18, 2014 at 16:49

        Oh, but I’d never act on it, of course! Unless I was really provoked… *laughs* Do parrots squint their eyes? I learn something new here every day…

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 20:40

        Provoked? What could provoke you, do you suppose?

        *laughs* I didn’t even think about it…but of course they do!

      • 94 FictionFan December 19, 2014 at 00:15

        Well…for instance…if, say, I was still waiting for a video to turn up by 4pm Scottish-time tomorrow…

        Maybe that’s just when they look at you though…

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2014 at 15:35

        Crap. It was close, I think!

        Everyone closes their eyes when they look at the professor. In fear!

      • 96 FictionFan December 19, 2014 at 17:51

        Ah, you made it with an hour to spare! *smiles hugely*

        Are you sure it’s fear?

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2014 at 21:40

        Whew! From now on…shouldn’t we go by EST?

        Well…what else could it be?

      • 98 FictionFan December 20, 2014 at 22:41

        No! Our time is the right time – we invented it.

        They maybe are dazzled by your Professorish gorgeousness. Maybe.

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke December 21, 2014 at 23:13

        Fine. I figured out long ago how to “transpose” to Scottish time.

        Just the ugliness, I bet.

      • 100 FictionFan December 22, 2014 at 21:15

        Did you? I find that oddly flattering, though I’m not sure why I do… *smiles in an oddly flattered kind of way*

        I haven’t seen that yet – you’ll need to get the ugly clone to appear in the next video…

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke December 23, 2014 at 19:06

        You should, I think.

        There won’t be another one, I fear. Next year, the PL is taking new course. All PL on PL, see.

      • 102 FictionFan December 26, 2014 at 16:38

        Then I do! *smiles bigly*

        Well…I guess I can see the logic in that. But you could get Schwarzy to take up guitar and clarinet and combine the two. Will you still be posting music vids on youtube? *holds breath fearfully*

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke December 27, 2014 at 14:47

        Schwarz would be rotten at the clarinet and you know it! Absolutely will! Nick has me on an intense schedule, I’m sad to say. We’ll try to film one in LA, but I’ll be guitar-less. I’ll have to borrow one from my buds at Alhambra…hope they don’t shoot me.

      • 104 FictionFan December 28, 2014 at 16:16

        You just don’t appreciate him – you might say “rotten”, but I’d say “unique”. Anyway, he might be just as good as the Professor… *narrows eyes suspiciously*

        Good for Nick! The Professor needs to work hard – his public expects it! ‘buds at Alhambra’ – is that code for alien invaders? I hope they don’t shoot you either – not till the video’s done anyway.

        I know you said no more lady talk, but your last vid did bring much joy to FF’s world this Christmas, I hope you know… *smiles like Woola when he’s just had a turkey dinner and is now about to start on the choccies*

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke December 28, 2014 at 20:47

        Unique…interesting. I didn’t know that word was Scottish for rotten. I shall keep this in the front of my mind, off to the left. Not near as good! He has such a black heart, I hear.

        Well, Alhambra guitars have a booth at Namm…I’m supposed to meet them to have speaks about guitars. I’ll hopefully (Hopefully!) be able to steal one for a shoot!

        You know, FEF, that truly means the world to me–to hear that. If I wasn’t a warrior I might do something silly about now. *laughs* You should get a Woola for your birthday.

      • 106 FictionFan December 29, 2014 at 16:13

        *laughs* Soooo jealous!! Why doesn’t it surprise me that the front of the Professorial mind should face left? At least, my Schwarzy has a heart…and it will go nicely with his tulips then.

        If they object, just let me know and I’ll send Tuppence over to sort them out.

        Phew! Thank goodness you’re a warrior then! Us warrioresses can get away with silliness though. *smiles sillily* Well, I would, but what if he wanted to sleep on the bed like T&T? I fear there would be no room for FF – I mean, they’d have eighteen limbs amongst them…

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke December 29, 2014 at 21:57

        You want to pluck his heart out of his chest and put it with his tulips?! *shocked face* I get confused–all the time–about the left and right sides of the brain, and what it means…

        Will do! She’s coming in quite handy, I’ll have you know.

        *laughs* Thank goodness indeed! I used to do that sort of thing–before I lost my heart. *laughs more* Do you have a sleeping bag?

      • 108 FictionFan December 30, 2014 at 16:45

        *gasps* No, I do not!! You just want him to be as heartless as the Professor! But my Schwarzy is too sweet to be heartless. The thing is that the left side when you’re facing someone becomes the right side when you’re behind them… *nods wisely, in a Shnoddy-esque kind of way*

        She’s useful, I admit. And it saves me having to send BUS…

        Did you lose it on the train to the North Pole? *laughs* I may have to get one…

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke December 31, 2014 at 02:07

        Yes, I’m doomed to be heartless. But maybe it’s sorta fun a bit. *laughing lots* They’d let you into Harvard you know!

        I think BUS would probably bring cakes. Were they good, btw? *angry face*

        *turns so red–in anger, mind you–that he burns through the ground and ends up in China*

      • 110 FictionFan December 31, 2014 at 17:51

        I’m cloning you a new heart using Tuppence’s DNA. Your warriorishness will be enhanced a thousand-fold! (And you might grow whiskers.) *nods* On their flamenco-scholarship scheme…

        Mmm…yes! Yummy! In fact, yumptious!! What a shame you can’t have a piece… *chuckles*

        *laughing lots* Are there elves in China?

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke January 1, 2015 at 20:42

        Ew! I don’t want a cat heart! I’m less susceptible to things, since I don’t have a heart. I have whiskers, I think. You’re still doing that? That’s very good.

        *angry face* It is…what sort of cake is it?

        *holds ears* I can’t hear you the moment.

      • 112 FictionFan January 2, 2015 at 01:44

        Tuppence is devastated! Though I’m not sure whether it’s because you don’t want her heart or because you have whiskers. (I’m somewhat devastated by the latter myself…)

        Christmas cake, of course! *wipes crumbs from her whiskers*

        Bet you can still hear Steve though…

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke January 2, 2015 at 19:32

        Whiskers? *laughs* Can’t do anything about it, though, can I?

        You have whiskers, too? Very well.

        I fear I can. Silverstri did an amazing score.

      • 114 FictionFan January 3, 2015 at 16:06

        Well, if you have whiskers like a cat, then there’s something sadly wrong with your shaving technique, I fear…

        Yes, but mine suit me!

        OK, I admit the music was quite good.

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke January 3, 2015 at 22:18

        Oh you do not fear! You’re probably laughing me to scorn, dadblameit.

        As well as your mustache?

        You did like it–lots!

      • 116 FictionFan January 3, 2015 at 23:02

        You would deserve it if I did!

        And my beard…

        No, no, no! I didn’t say that, and you can’t make me!!

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke January 4, 2015 at 20:15

        Would not!

        *laughs* I bet it’s…red.

        Hey! Hold on here. I think you’re the one manipulating me! You see, you’re making me think you hated it, just so I read a JA…now this makes sense! *professor aha moment* That’s why you decided to watch it without much prompting. *laughs lots*

      • 118 FictionFan January 5, 2015 at 01:54

        HahahahahahahahahaHA! Take that!

        Today. Purple tomorrow, I think…

        Without much prompting?!?!? Good noodles! You mentioned it every week for three months AND posted a picture of a railway line and cryptically hinted it would be great for making a Polar Express video!! You misled and manipulated me – brainwashed me…TRICKED me – even though you knew about my life-threatening allergy to cute little children!!!! Pah! Tchah! And aha!!!

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke January 5, 2015 at 11:39

        *holds ears and hums* I can’t hear you the sudden.

        Wow. I”m impressed. You’re something of a rainbow.

        *laughs* But that pic was for something entirely different! Really. As you’ll see soon. Now I do feel really, really bad.

      • 120 FictionFan January 5, 2015 at 17:31

        *bets he’s humming Burns’ lovesongs*

        Ooh, I quite like that! Green tomorrow then…

        Oh, don’t you start with your enigmatic hints again!!! I refuse to listen…

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke January 5, 2015 at 22:24

        I don’t know any–thanks the goods!

        Then black. Then yellow.

        But it’s true. A future music video. There. I told you.

      • 122 FictionFan January 6, 2015 at 01:57

        You’ll hate it, but I love this so much!! The perfect way to dump a girlfriend…

        Sounds like a bruise…

        Woohoo!!! Now if you hurry up with that, I might well forgive you! In fact, definitely…!!!

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke January 6, 2015 at 12:03

        That was beautiful. I liked it. Actually. Don’t tell anyone, though.

        Good point. Well…it’s your color scheme!

        *smiles bigly* Working on it…I think. On a few actually.

      • 124 FictionFan January 6, 2015 at 16:25

        Really? I am surprised! *smiles bigly* She’s also got a lovely accent, I think.

        I think I might shave…

        Hurrah! *twitches impatiently*

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke January 6, 2015 at 23:10

        She does! It’s so cool sounding. Wait…is that what you sound like a bit?

        Your head???

        Got the funniest mental image.

      • 126 FictionFan January 7, 2015 at 02:22

        Hmm…I suppose I do a bit when she’s talking, but sadly not when singing!

        *laughing lots* Maybe I already did…

        Cheeky Chicky! I’m adorable when I twitch, I’ll have you know!

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke January 7, 2015 at 12:31

        That’s so neat. Then I can say, you sound very nice. Singing is so overrated!

        Goodness. I hope not. Maybe you’re just trying to be like Darby.

        I…don’t believe it!

      • 128 FictionFan January 7, 2015 at 17:39

        Thank you! But I think she sounds nicer than me. It is! All these silly rules about sticking to the tune and stuff…

        Or Vin…

        *gasps* Well! No wonder I flounce!

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke January 7, 2015 at 22:04

        You would think that. That’s because you probably never heard yourself. I’m used to hearing myself…and it’s shocking at first! Actually, it’s even shocking when you hear yourself playing an instrument!

        *laughs* Have to say, FEF, you look much, much better just being FEF.

        Cool. I’m in a bet to see how many times I can get you to flounce.

      • 130 FictionFan January 8, 2015 at 02:54

        Ooh, I hate hearing my own voice – it never sounds the least bit like me! What about seeing yourself on a video? The thought of that makes me shudder…

        Thank you, C-W-W! No-one has ever told me I’m prettier than Vin Diesel before… *blushes girlishly*

        Oh, are you indeed!?! Who with, may I ask?!? *flou… sits calmly with hands folded neatly in lap*

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke January 8, 2015 at 13:13

        *laughs* But it’s how others hear you. If you did it enough, you’d get to a point where you’d hear yourself as others do. *nods* That was definitely hard at first. But one gets use to it!

        *laughing lots* You’re prettier than… *wonders who FEF thinks is really pretty* That one with the weird eyes.

        I’ll tell you when I turn 95!

      • 132 FictionFan January 8, 2015 at 16:12

        But I don’t want other people to hear me sounding like that! *takes vow of silence* I don’t think I ever would…

        *laughs lots and lots* What one with the weird eyes?! Couldn’t I please be prettier than someone who’s not weird-looking?

        *chuckles* Ok, you won that one!

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke January 8, 2015 at 22:15

        But if you sound remotely close to the other lady, you’re just fine! Of course you would, I think. Unless you’re scared of your shadow.

        But you thought she was gorgeous! Okay…umm…I think she’s dead. She had black hair, I think. And green eyes?

        Yipee!

      • 134 FictionFan January 9, 2015 at 02:43

        I am, I think! I prefer to stick with my imaginary version of myself…

        *laughing lots and lots* Now, if I get this right, I think it proves I must be able to read the Professor’s mind, but are we by any chance talking about the stunningly gorgeous Elizabeth Taylor? And her violet eyes? If so, I admit she may be marginally prettier than me…

      • 135 Professor VJ Duke January 9, 2015 at 12:53

        Yes!!! That’s the one. Wow. You can read my mind. But I gave a lot of good hints, I think. Violet eyes? *shudders* Yes, you’re prettier than her, that’s what I was about.

      • 136 FictionFan January 9, 2015 at 18:19

        Yes, the weird, green eyes was a huge hint! Awww, thanks, C-W-W…but that’s impossible. It’d be like saying that Rafa was prettier than Schwarzy…

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke January 10, 2015 at 00:08

        *laughing* Nope. To me, you are. Now, Rafa is cool, I’ll give you that. And Schwarz…

      • 138 FictionFan January 10, 2015 at 17:30

        Awww, thanks! *blushes* Oh, come on! Schwarzy is very cool! And I suspect he’s stunningly gorgeous too…

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke January 10, 2015 at 21:17

        Schwarz? Well, doesn’t he have blond hair? I forget the sudden.

      • 140 FictionFan January 11, 2015 at 18:00

        Me too – but whatever the colour, I’m sure it’s gorgeous.

      • 141 Professor VJ Duke January 11, 2015 at 19:54

        *roll eyes*

      • 142 FictionFan January 12, 2015 at 13:40

        *shakes head sadly* Jealous!

      • 143 Professor VJ Duke January 12, 2015 at 20:11

        And then…do you flounce off?

      • 144 FictionFan January 12, 2015 at 21:49

        Nah! You do!

      • 145 Professor VJ Duke January 13, 2015 at 12:52

        I rampage, remember.

  19. 146 desertdweller29 December 17, 2014 at 15:41

    I’m sure they were calling to tell you you won a $1,000,000 sweepstakes. How short-sighted of you, Professor! Why with that money, you could have hired a full-time receptionist to screen your calls!

    • 147 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 03:16

      Nooooooooooooooooo! I was gradoobled then…do you suppose there’s anything I can do about it now?

  20. 148 PorterGirl December 17, 2014 at 15:18

    AhaaaAAAA! This is the most awesome thing! And definitely a trick I am going to use on these triksy little devils whom one can never understand and isn’t interested in anyway. LOVE it! Professor, you have made my day. And, considering I have had two cakes and a chocolate, that really is saying something.

    • 149 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 03:13

      Wow! I beat two cakes and a chocolate! (Were they chocolate cakes?) I know! This professor got so fed up with all that garble they spill at you as soon as you say, “hello”…

      • 150 PorterGirl December 18, 2014 at 08:35

        We have them here, too. They are not popular.

        One was a chocolate orange cake, the other was banana and toffee. The chocolate was in the shape of a camel!

      • 151 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2014 at 20:11

        I want those cakes the sudden! Especially the orange one…

      • 152 PorterGirl December 19, 2014 at 09:00

        The orange one was amazing! I am afraid I get rather plump this time of year. I cannot resist all the lovely things to eat

      • 153 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2014 at 15:47

        I know right? Such temptation isn’t fair. Of course….you could always do your pushups!

      • 154 PorterGirl December 19, 2014 at 16:09

        Push ups – pah! Maybe I will chase people instead. That would be more fun. A little plumpness is okay. The extra plump keeos me warm

      • 155 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2014 at 21:33

        *laughs* True! But…muscle keeps one warm too!

      • 156 PorterGirl December 22, 2014 at 08:30

        *sighs* you are right as ever, Professor *does a few half-hearted push ups*

      • 157 Professor VJ Duke December 23, 2014 at 19:01

        *laughs*


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