Article I: Wit, Wisdom, and the Daily Dose of Sarcasm
a. Proverbs by the esteemed PL Poet, educator, and author V. Shnodgrate:
1. The only things that are subjective in life, don’t matter.
2. Who has the right viewpoint, the mountain or the blade of grass? Neither—unless they are not depending on their viewpoint. For the blade of grass can’t see what the mountain can see, and the mountain can’t see what the blade of grass can see.
3. Gravel is small, yet it still corrupts the sandal.
Pick a favorite if you are agreeable. Pict two, if you are unsure. Pick three, if you don’t understand one.
b. The following is a bit of social commentary by Dr. Purdue Whitacker (head doctor at Crackjaw Mental Institution) and Spitz Mulligan.
Have you ever noticed how concrete always cracks? No matter what? The concrete guy said it wouldn’t crack. But it does. Here are the options: One, the concrete guy lied. I like this option, because it sounds true. Two, the concrete wasn’t installed properly, meaning the concrete guy didn’t do a proper job. Three, the concrete surprised us all. Either way you cut it, the concrete guy is no good. ~ Dr. Purdue Whitacker
I noticed that people walk their dogs on chains. Too bad we didn’t institute that practice with politicians. At least, they’d look a little more respectable with chains around their necks. ~ Spitz Mulligan
Article II: Breaking News
T P L News&Such has three towers across the land, which they use to service mostly every PL’er. It is the largest subscribed to newspaper in TPL.
Managing Editor: J. Freedwoppen