T P L News&Such (3)

News and Such2/2/15

Article I: Wit, Wisdom, and the Daily Dose of Sarcasm

a. Proverbs are by esteemed PL Poet, educator, and author V. Shnodgrate:

1. The world is structured. What’s true on a small scale is true on a larger scale.
2. Objectiveness is open-mindedness to the close-minded.
3. Anything short of an unconditional surrender is very dangerous.

Pick a favorite if you have one. Pick two if you have two. Pick three if you are three.

b. The following is a bit of social commentary by Dr. Purdue Whitacker, head doctor at Crackjaw Mental Institute (CMI):

The thing I’ve noticed most this week is how younger people don’t seem to respect the older people. We hear this all the time, don’t we? “Oh!” says some so-and-so. “Why won’t Sandy respect his elders?” Of course, this sort of thing makes the children (the ones who really are good children) feel rather bad about themselves. But I tell you: the whole thing is a hoax. What older people are really looking for isn’t respect: it’s a personal servant. ~ Dr. Purdue Whitacker

Article II: Breaking News:

a. Schwarz Tauptinker and Dr. Zauberer were seen looking at Mt. Rushmore. (There is one in the PL.) And this following conversation was overheard:

SCHWARZ TAUPTINKER: Okay, was that created by an artist, or did it just happen?

DR. ZAUBERER: Did what just happen?

SCHWARZ TAUPTINKER: Chickit! The mountain with funny faces in it! Is it a product of chance?

DR. ZAUBERER: Of course not. There was an artist. Or two. Or three. Or five an a half.

SCHWARZ TAUPTINKER: What happened to his other half?

DR. ZAUBERER: He either lost it on the flight in, or he never had it, or a rock fell on him–but only half of him.

SCHWARZ TAUPTINKER: Wow, that’s pretty chickit!

DR. ZAUBERER: So, to answer your question: That which you see before you is the work of an artist.

SCHWARZ TAUPTINKER: And who sculpted the artist?

DR. ZAUBERER: How silly! Who cares? The fact is…the artist sculpted…this.

b. It is said that Professor VJ Duke is suffering from MPD–ever since Daddy Salami struck him with a shot.

T P L News&Such has three towers across the land, which they use to service mostly every PL’er.

It is the largest subscribed to newspaper in the TPL.

Managing Editor: J. Freedwoppen.

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140 Responses to “T P L News&Such (3)”


  1. 1 Hazy February 15, 2015 at 06:56

    Whose faces are etched on the PL version of Mt. Rushmore, I wonder.

    Multiple personality disorder, is it? All because of a shot! Curious indeed. How is the professor feeling now?

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:49

      I think Fats Henry is one of them.

      I’m better, thanks! But you must admit, it’s an interest.

      • 3 Hazy March 7, 2015 at 06:59

        Glad to hear you’re better. An interest indeed. How does it feel like?

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2015 at 00:15

        At the moment…just normal!

  2. 5 The Lite Rider February 3, 2015 at 21:59

    Ha ha, the proverbs this time. I’ll go with #2, as counfounding as it is.

    MPD indeed. That should give the Professor loads of leeway for … acting strangely …. I would think. ;-)

    Chick-it sums it up what with the PL’s Mt. Rushmore. Yikes. My question is: who’s heads are on the PL Mt. Rushmore?! DS? Mr. Magi. Dr. Z?

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:12

      They’re real singers, huh?

      • 7 The Lite Rider February 4, 2015 at 22:08

        Yikes, I guess so then.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:26

        *nods*

        Can’t believe I didn’t reply to the rest of your comment! See? My mind is shot.

        Whose heads…well, Dr. Z’s is there, you’re correct. And Mr. Magi. And Fats Henry…and DS!

  3. 9 Simply Skeptical February 3, 2015 at 11:30

    So, I take it, Sandy, doesn’t respect HIS elders. If that is correct I wouldn’t either with such a given name. (giggles). Oh by all means proverb #3 is tops and true. Now to educate and just where to begin??? Zauberer ought to do quite well (educating that is).

    • 10 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2015 at 19:27

      The question is always where to begin, madam. Always! Now, what don’t you like about the name Sandy?

      • 11 Simply Skeptical February 3, 2015 at 21:39

        It’s almost as bad as a boy named “Sue”! (smirks)

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:12

        *Laughing* You may or may not have a point!

  4. 13 Angeline M February 3, 2015 at 05:16

    MPD, I knew there had to be an answer to you. Now it makes perfect sense. Did DS really have anything to do with it. He took a shot at you??? Then both you and I better opt for proverb #3.

    • 14 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2015 at 19:25

      He did! What makes perfect sense?

      • 15 Angeline M February 4, 2015 at 17:30

        You.

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:39

        Oh, I do not, dadblameit!

  5. 17 Catherine February 3, 2015 at 02:37

    I do like number 1…it causes one to think.

    • 18 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2015 at 19:18

      And then destroys the brain!

      • 19 Catherine February 6, 2015 at 04:21

        Well, that is true. *laughs* But while the brain lasts, it’s not a bad proverb to think about.

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 04:08

        *laughing* Good point. Must make the brain work a bit!

      • 21 Catherine February 9, 2015 at 03:22

        But not so much as to get it destroyed, of course!

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:33

        True, true. I’ll keep that in mind, promise.

      • 23 Catherine February 12, 2015 at 02:47

        Good, good.

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:21

        Scientist!

  6. 25 John W. Howell February 2, 2015 at 20:51

    I like number two and the concept of not obscuring my lack of objectiveness with facts.

    • 26 Professor VJ Duke February 2, 2015 at 22:49

      Yes, isn’t that one confusing, though?

      • 27 John W. Howell February 3, 2015 at 01:58

        Yes it is.

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2015 at 19:18

        I suppose that’s the beauty of it!

  7. 29 Susan P February 2, 2015 at 20:30

    I’m sticking with Proverb #3. It has a nice rhythm. SCHWARZIE! You are a genius.

    • 30 Professor VJ Duke February 2, 2015 at 22:49

      Isn’t the professor smarter?

      • 31 Susan P February 2, 2015 at 23:51

        I’m sure I have yet to be acquainted with the wisdom of the Professor.

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2015 at 19:16

        *shocked face* Hey!

      • 33 Susan P February 3, 2015 at 22:12

        What? Oh, no! I meant I am well acquainted with the Professor’s wisdom. :D

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:14

        Nah! I’m as wise as a naked mole rat!

      • 35 Susan P February 4, 2015 at 22:47

        Pfff

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:30

        You know it to be true!

      • 37 Susan P February 7, 2015 at 00:10

        You can’t prove it.

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 04:30

        Umm…George can.

      • 39 Susan P February 7, 2015 at 12:52

        George is watching the world go by at the window.

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 23:43

        Does he seem interested or bored?

      • 41 Susan P February 8, 2015 at 00:16

        He is interested in the other cats. He’s at the window almost all day. Probably a bit of envy.

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 01:18

        Does he try and attack them?

      • 43 Susan P February 9, 2015 at 14:46

        No. Unless they attack him first.

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:54

        George is a hero.

      • 45 Susan P February 9, 2015 at 23:40

        He /is/ a hero. How did you know?

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 21:35

        Just the way he stands.

      • 47 Susan P February 10, 2015 at 21:52

        You have powerful skills of discerning.

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 22:08

        It only seems that way. They’re quite useless, really.

      • 49 Susan P February 11, 2015 at 14:25

        You need to get that fixed. Your brains leak out if you’re not careful.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 21:57

        Maybe they’re gone already?

      • 51 Susan P February 11, 2015 at 22:26

        Naw. Just needs freshened up. Call the Brain cleanier .

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 23:15

        I hope he’s not expensive.

      • 53 Susan P February 12, 2015 at 15:16

        What price glory?

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:37

        Well, I’d pay him a penny.

      • 55 Susan P February 14, 2015 at 00:35

        Ten pennies.

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke February 14, 2015 at 18:22

        Done!

      • 57 Susan P February 14, 2015 at 18:31

        You know that all of the pennies in the PL have the likeness of Amelia on them, right? It’s practically the same as asking her to marry you.

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:40

        You set me up!

      • 59 Susan P February 16, 2015 at 14:05

        Do you have a problem with that?

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 21:58

        Absolutely!!!

      • 61 Susan P February 17, 2015 at 00:17

        Why? No harm intended….

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 20:55

        But I was set up, dadblameit.

      • 63 Susan P February 17, 2015 at 21:41

        Well, pull up your socks and work on your revenge.

  8. 64 Debbie February 2, 2015 at 18:48

    I’m going with Proverbs #2 and 3. Perhaps Dr. Whitacker has spent too much time around his patients? Not all older people want a servant; in fact, many are too proud and independent for such nonsense, preferring to handle their own affairs alone.

    I’d like to see Mt. Rushmore some day — for reals, rather than just in pictures. I didn’t realize the PL had one, too.

    What in the world is this MPD you have, Professor?? Sounds scary. Is there a cure? More, is it contagious (for I can ill afford to be sickened right now, and I’m avoiding all crowds with coughing people!)

    • 65 Professor VJ Duke February 2, 2015 at 22:48

      That’s a very good point! Just like the professor. I’m old, you know.

      The PL does! I think DS should be put up there, you know.

      *laughs* Well, it’s from DS’s shot!

  9. 66 Bethy February 2, 2015 at 16:33

    What praytell is MPD?
    I think I would like a personal servant. But respect is mighty important!
    And I think maybe proverb #3. Yes, that’s the one!

    • 67 Susan P February 2, 2015 at 20:31

      Perhaps it means “Mad Professor Disease.”

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke February 2, 2015 at 22:49

        Hmm…now…I don’t like that much.

      • 69 Susan P February 2, 2015 at 23:52

        Why is that?

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2015 at 19:16

        Makes me sound like a cow, you know.

      • 71 Susan P February 3, 2015 at 22:13

        Like a dying calf in the spring of the year?

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:14

        Did you shoot it?

      • 73 Susan P February 4, 2015 at 22:47

        No. I’m too tender-hearted.

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:30

        Most girls are. Hector wasn’t, you know.

      • 75 Susan P February 7, 2015 at 00:11

        But his wife was.

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 04:30

        *nods* She was a sweet woman.

    • 77 Professor VJ Duke February 2, 2015 at 22:47

      Multiple Personality Disorder! Would your personal servant be very strong, do you suppose?

      • 78 Bethy February 3, 2015 at 13:58

        Uh…I don’t know. I guess it would depend on what I would need my personal servant to do. The first things that come to mind is scrub my bathtub and dust my fans/ceilings. I don’t think you need to be particularly strong for those, but maybe tall?

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2015 at 19:32

        Very true. Maybe 8 feet. Unless you have a ladder the chap could borrow.

      • 80 Bethy February 6, 2015 at 15:53

        I think we have several ladders around. I never use them myself although I am quite short and they would be handy.

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 04:23

        Ladder sure do come in handy. I like them!

  10. 82 desertdweller29 February 2, 2015 at 16:30

    Not to pull the Professor out of this riveting narrative, but perhaps he is suffering (along with a predicted 7 million Americans) from post-game fatigue and not this MPD?? It would explain the rather punchy (even for PL) proverbs today…? I knew Brady and his ball would get the last laugh. Do you think he’d like to visit PL one day?

    • 83 Professor VJ Duke February 2, 2015 at 22:47

      Tom Brady? He might. Do you suppose he would? I must admit, I didn’t watch most of the game. I’m horrid, huh?

      • 84 desertdweller29 February 3, 2015 at 00:03

        What?! After you instructed me to cheer?! Well you missed some depressing commercials and a dancing shark. That’s my recap. …Hmmmm, Brady might be a little busy, but I’m sure if you ring him during the summer he would oblige. I think he’d get along with MM.

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2015 at 19:17

        I know… *looks for a way to escape* Are you horribly cross now? Dancing shark?! Goodness. That sounds like an interest. Would you give him a ring for me?

      • 86 desertdweller29 February 3, 2015 at 19:26

        Sure, I’ll call him. We’re total buds now that he’s in Phoenix. I think this California trip interfered with your priorities, PVJ. And I’m not even sure you ventured into Disneyland! I only saw the far away photo. I suppose it safer that way, though. I wouldn’t want you getting measles. I want a Part II California!

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2015 at 19:46

        What should be in Part II California, though? I’m not sure. It did mess things up, I assure you. Should I have gone to Disneyland?

      • 88 desertdweller29 February 3, 2015 at 22:23

        Like what editor stood you up? And why? Your wonderful classical guitar playing? A book on this subject, perhaps? Or CD? I’m waiting patiently for your album release, you know… We can collaborate with Katy Perry’s dancing shark if we must. How about a pop-up book version of PL?! The Landers are demanders! I mean…please?? And I’d like to know more about this Nick character… What’s he hiding for? And why are his camera angles questionable? I believe he took fine pictures, myself… Lastly, stay away from Disneyland. They have an infestation of mice. And chorros.

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:19

        Well, he’s my current editor. We’ve already made quite a few books together. *proud professorish face* Just wanted to say hi to him. But I did meet another one I might be working with soon. My CD? Aw, you’re too nice to me!

        Landers are demanders…that’s got a great ring to it! I should hire you to come up with slogans, you know.

        Well, I begged Nick to post a pic of himself, but he said no. What should I do?

      • 90 desertdweller29 February 4, 2015 at 22:17

        I must know these books immediately! I’m very intrigued! Novels? Non-fiction? Why aren’t they advertised on your blog??

        Also, take a picture of Nick when he’s sleeping.

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:28

        Actually, they’re music books! I’m a professional arranger, I must admit. Though I shouldn’t admit it!

        I will, but what if he tries to kill me!

      • 92 desertdweller29 February 6, 2015 at 00:56

        That’s so cool, Professor! It sounds so complicated. I think I’m musical in my head, but like my accents, it wouldn’t translate well.

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 01:01

        You should…do you play guitar? A bit? I think? You should start more. It’s so fun.

  11. 94 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 2, 2015 at 15:49

    The proverbs are rather pointed this week. I am 3.

    In Texas Sir and Ma’am must be used. I was raised to say please and thank you. I suppose, if an adult is using their manners, I’d be hard pressed not to oblige. Stern voices usually create slaves, I guess. Doing out of love and not obligation is far sweeter, but children won’t understand that til they grow up. Mostly, adults aren’t grown up enough to see the beauty of it either, so in the end everyone is a child. I’m rambling. Sorry.

    Mt. Rushmore is pretty cool. I took Mr. Warrior there a few years ago. Tis very big, Duke. We took a hike so far back we almost touched Abe’s nose.

    Those towers always confuse me.

    • 95 Professor VJ Duke February 2, 2015 at 22:46

      *laughs* So happy you took that choice!

      No! That mades lots of sense. So you mean, in Texas I’d have to call people Sir and Ma’am?

      Nice! You’re an adventurer for sure. Did he like it?

      Why?

      • 96 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 3, 2015 at 04:12

        *sparkles* I had no choice. It was screaming at me, Duketh.

        Okay, good. I figured you would understand my thinking. Yes, well, everyone older than we are, for sure. It can accomplish quite a lot, Sir. The elders rather enjoy it.

        Oh, yes! I found myself reading from Wikipedia often, so I could answer his history questions. Random questions I don’t have room in my head for, you see. I think he thinks I’m stupid. *laughs*

        ’cause.

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2015 at 19:25

        *checks to see if it’s screaming*

        Well…I wouldn’t do it. Just to be mean. I’d say man and beautiful, I think. They’d be my terms.

        *laughing* Oh, he does not! Then he’d really think I’m stupid.

        (Me too.)

      • 98 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 3, 2015 at 22:32

        *holds his ears*
        Well, I suppose, if you went about it like this, it could help your case:
        “My, Man!” *pats man’s back*
        “Hey, Beautiful…” *plays the guitar*
        You could win the whole state over. *laughs*

        Hahaha!! *sparkles* Just try it.

        (Okay)

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:20

        *laughing lots* Should I try that? *very tempted* I think the girls would kill me if I did that to them.

      • 100 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 5, 2015 at 04:17

        You could try it for sure! No, I think girls would like it if you did that sort of thing.

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:34

        Called them beautiful?

      • 102 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 6, 2015 at 21:05

        *stops and thinks* Yeah, that’s right.

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 04:25

        Really? Are you sure?

      • 104 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 7, 2015 at 15:54

        Maybe not? What do I know!

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 23:50

        You know about the professor.

      • 106 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 8, 2015 at 02:20

        Not enough.

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 01:22

        Seriously? Not even at this point?

      • 108 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 9, 2015 at 04:05

        No *laughs*

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:41

        *shocked* Well…what else is there to know?

      • 110 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 10, 2015 at 04:40

        Muchly much, I bet.

  12. 111 walt walker February 2, 2015 at 14:19

    Who sculpted the artist? A brilliant question.

    Although I must admit I too thought the mount was a natural wonder.

    • 112 Professor VJ Duke February 2, 2015 at 22:45

      One Dick Hercules could answer, I bet.

      You did? *nods* I could see why. But…what was the cause of it? Maybe a giant katana.

  13. 113 PorterGirl February 2, 2015 at 14:12

    Ah, where would I be without my PL News every Monday? Life would be unbearable without it. Now – these proverbs seem quite stern today. I think I like number two the most, but number one is certainly true. Number three sounds rather ominous!

    Dr Whitaker might be right, you know. Elderly people can be quite demanding. I certainly intend to be demanding when I am elderly (not too long to wait…)

    A PL Mount Rushmore sounds fabulous! I do hope the Professor is depicted there, in all his glory!

    Do you have to have seperate mealtimes for each personality? I know I would. Sounds like a good excuse to eat multiple meals, to me.

    • 114 Professor VJ Duke February 2, 2015 at 22:44

      But you didn’t pick a favorite, Lucy! *taps foot* You know…the PL news is disconcerting, isn’t it?

      *laughs* Oh, you’re young! When you get my age, then you won’t have long to wait!

      Me? Would I be wearing a hat?

      You’re right! You could have six or so a day!!!

      • 115 PorterGirl February 3, 2015 at 07:09

        Number two is my favourite I think. Don’t do the eye again *shudders*. The PL news is both worrying and delightful. It keeps me on my toes.

        certainly a hat – but at a jaunty angle so the amazing haircut can be viewed slightly.

        It’s a plan, then! I am now officially three people. Three greedy people aha!

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2015 at 19:26

        I won’t! *laughs* (It’s really probably not that scary.)

        And I should wear a beard like Julian Edelman.

        Greedy for food. And katanas!

      • 117 PorterGirl February 3, 2015 at 19:33

        Just an ickle scary.
        A beard! super idea. It will keep your face warm.
        *squeals with laughter and snorts a bit* Greedy for katanas! BRILLIANT!

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2015 at 19:47

        An long, long, fuzzy one. Yes!

        *laughs*

      • 119 PorterGirl February 3, 2015 at 20:46

        Like ZZ Top! Yeah! *sings ZZ Top*

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:11

        *laughs and sings too!*

  14. 121 L. Marie February 2, 2015 at 14:00

    I choose 1 and 2, since we can choose more than 1. And I agree that adults sometimes want personal servants. Take me for instance. I need children to power my sleigh, since the dogs decided to unionize.

    Um, does the shot make you think you’re someone else entirely? Does that someone else have a name?

    • 122 Professor VJ Duke February 2, 2015 at 22:41

      *laughing lots* They did not, did they?! Imagine. Maybe you should feed them better?

      Well, it seems to, yes. I don’t think so. You should name him for me!

      • 123 L. Marie February 3, 2015 at 14:59

        I wish I could. If you are showing evidence of an entirely different personality, only you (or that self) would know that name. I might call you Gerald the Misplaced Knight, only to have to angrily correct me and say your name is Ted the Used Car Salesman.

      • 124 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2015 at 19:35

        I do like Gerald, though, lots. And I think I’d rather a knight than a salesman. Aren’t salesman usually un-warriorlike?

  15. 125 FictionFan February 2, 2015 at 14:00

    The proverbs are particularly nonsensical this week – my hearty congratulations to the old fool Shnoddy. I shall pick… 2. But only if the Professor can explain it…

    Dr Whitacker has a point. But IF I was elderly, I think I’d like both respect and a personal servant please…

    How disappointing! I’d always assumed they just appeared magically! Sounds to me like Dr Zauberer doesn’t know what he’s talking about. *realises she’s being silly – he’s a) a Punchy person and b) a man – of course he doesn’t know what he’s talking about!* Now I wonder which heads are on the Punchy Mount Rushmore – hard to believe they found four men worth commemorating…

    What’s MPD? Mad Professorial Disease?

    • 126 Professor VJ Duke February 2, 2015 at 22:40

      *laughs* Poor Shnod! You’re ripping a Scottish poet, you know!!! Explain number 2? Me?

      How many servants? That’s the question.

      *laughing* How mean! I think I got ripped somewhere in there as well as Dr. Z. And here I thought you thought he was adorable. Well…for one, they could put Henry’s face on there, because he’s got an island. And maybe Amelia…

      *nods* That’s it! Nah, Multiple Personality Disorder…

      • 127 FictionFan February 3, 2015 at 15:44

        I don’t believe he’s Scottish – I can’t visualise him in a kilt! Well it must mean something surely? To someone?

        Oh I wouldn’t be greedy. Six should do. Per shift.

        Thought Dr Z was adorable? Did I? Not in comparison to my Schwarzy! *shakes head decisively* But Henry’s face would take up most of the room surely? It’s just so sickening the way you can’t stop thinking about that creature! Couldn’t we just hang her from the mountain instead?

        Good noodles! I hope not! I can barely cope with one of you…

      • 128 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2015 at 19:38

        Oh, I can! *scary image indeed* Ugh. Well, it means usually–when one thinks one is begin objective–they’re not. That’s what I take it to mean. It’s a brain ringer.

        Per shift? Of course you wouldn’t be greedy!

        Well, you think everyone is from time to time. That’s a good point. Henry would take up a lot of space. *laughs* I always think you’re thinking about her and that’s why I bring her up.

        Do I keep you on your feet?

      • 129 FictionFan February 4, 2015 at 15:49

        Urrgh! I shall have nightmares now! Does it? Even now you’ve told me I still can’t make it mean that! It must be written in American…

        Well, I wouldn’t want to have to overwork them!

        Ah, but no-one is ever as adorable as my Professor! (Except Schwarzy. And Darby.) Oh, indeed? It’s for my benefit, is it? How kind!! *disbelieving stare*

        Sometimes. Other times you knock me off them…

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:33

        It is nightmarish! Oh come on! It’s all there in black and white…

        I think that might be a kindness.

        And Rafa. And Andy. And Julian. And Vince. And…Gronk! I know you like him, you know. Honestly honest–with regards to Amelia.

        How rude! I’d never knock you off your feet!

      • 131 FictionFan February 5, 2015 at 13:30

        Hmm… Shnoddy must just be too wise for me!

        OK, you can be the supervisor then. I’ll buy you a dinky little uniform and a nice whip!

        You forgot Tom. I do like Gronk’s name… is he a troll? Awww, well, that’s almost quite sweet then, really…

        *chuckles* When we dance, you can sweep me off them…

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:46

        He’s too wise for the frogs, too. Not that you’re a frog.

        A bullwhip! Cool. I’ve been meaning to get one, you know.

        He’s big enough to be one! The dude is huge. See? I am sweet… *quite relieved*

        *holds ears*

      • 133 FictionFan February 6, 2015 at 15:19

        I’m glad you clarified that, sir! *croaks*

        It will suit you! Though why you should wish to whip bulls is something of a mystery…

        You are! And c&a! And fluffy…!

      • 134 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 04:16

        *laughs* Yes, and I’m perfectly sure about it.

        I think that’s just the type. I’d be like Indiana Jones! He was a professor, you know.

        Am not neither or any of those!

      • 135 FictionFan February 7, 2015 at 17:18

        *hops off*

        There was a point in my life when I was deeply, deeply in love with Indiana Jones, you know, you know…

        *whispers* Are too!

      • 136 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 23:58

        Really? I think FEF had a crush on everyone.

      • 137 FictionFan February 8, 2015 at 19:11

        Fickle philanderers shouldn’t throw stones…

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 01:35

        I just looked up that word… *growls*

      • 139 FictionFan February 9, 2015 at 17:23

        Fluffy fickle philanderer!

      • 140 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:58

        *holds ears*


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Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
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3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
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15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
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17. Ri-do-diculous


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