Mr. Ratherquite, Mr. Magi, and the professor

“Yes, sir,” Mr. Ratherquite was saying, “ladies are sensible creatures. We must do everything in our power never to upset them.”

We were sitting at a table–just the three of us–and this professor was having a drink. It was red, and quite sweet, but beyond that I’m not at liberty to say what it was.

“Now hold on there,” Mr. Magi said, one eyebrow raising above the other (for a better look, presumably). “Upsetting people sometimes has to happen. And that means upsetting ladies sometimes happens as well.” Mr. Magi adjusted his black bowtie, took a sip of tea, and looked at me. “Right, P.VJ?”

Before I could answer, Mr. Ratherquite said: “Yes, true. Very true. You have a point, Mr. Magi. But it still isn’t right for rapscallions like P.VJ to do what he did to Ms. Amelia.”

This professor froze. He’d heard about that? As far as this professor was concerned, I really hadn’t done anything. (See, that’s how it’s done. Just think of it as unimportant and it usually becomes that way.) All that happened is I insulted Amelia.

But she started it. Of course, everything was complicated by the fact that some think it was an insult and some a compliment. What a wonder.

Mr. Magi looked at me.

“Look here, Mr. Ratherquite,” I began, “it’s not right that you bring this sort of thing up. I mean, it isn’t your business. In fact, it mayn’t even be the professor’s business.”

“Sir,” Mr. Ratherquite said, “it’s my duty to make sure you treat your lady fairly.”

That was it.

This professor splashed his horrible red drink–did I say it was horrible?–into Mr. Ratherquite’s face.

Now, usually, that’s what ladies do, so I– in order to be professorish–followed it up with a chin strike. (See, much better to do that then hurt a fist. Plus, it’s much quicker.)

Mr. Ratherquite slumped in his chair unconscious.

Mr. Magi jumped up. “What’d you just do?”

“I’m not sure,” I answered. “But I did tell you I was a warrior.”

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153 Responses to “Mr. Ratherquite, Mr. Magi, and the professor”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 March 26, 2015 at 13:51

    I don’t think Amelia is a lady. You should tell him that she isn’t a lady, next time. ;-)

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 20:32

      She’d get so mad, though!

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 March 27, 2015 at 14:31

        Probably, but I wouldn’t care about that.

  2. 4 Hazy February 15, 2015 at 07:06

    Weatherly is proud of the professor’s chin strike! Excellent form, probably, as it knocked Mr. R, he says.

    Is Ms. Amelia someone to be trusted? I’m a little apprehensive, I suppose.

    • 5 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:51

      She most definitely is not! Wasn’t that awesome? Tell Weatherly I appreciate the feedback.

  3. 6 erinkenobi2893 February 8, 2015 at 21:07

    Oh, dear! He did deserve it though. He called Amelia “your” lady when she was nothing of the sort! She would shame anyone whose lady she was!

    • 7 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 01:41

      That’s exactly right! But was I maybe too harsh?

      • 8 erinkenobi2893 February 9, 2015 at 02:39

        Perhaps. A little bit. I would have told him just how impolite he had been, and that Amelia deserved to be rebuffed.

      • 9 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:32

        *nods* See, Erin, you keep your cool so well. I should be more like you.

      • 10 erinkenobi2893 February 10, 2015 at 12:48

        I don’t keep my cool very well when I’m being an idiot. Or when other people think I’m an idiot. Which is all the time at work. And is contributing to moping around.

      • 11 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 21:47

        You should beat them up, I say.

      • 12 erinkenobi2893 February 10, 2015 at 23:12

        I can’t, though.

      • 13 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 21:45

        And why not?

      • 14 erinkenobi2893 February 12, 2015 at 03:02

        It’s not ethical.

      • 15 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:22

        Oh dadblameit!

      • 16 erinkenobi2893 February 13, 2015 at 14:38

        Indeed.

  4. 17 Heartafire February 6, 2015 at 01:40

    Isn’t a “strike” on the chin equivalent to the swat of a guantlet across the face, a challenge to duel? The professor is a warrior indeed!

    • 18 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 04:01

      It is you’re right! *smiles proudly* More heroic than Hector, do you suppose?

      • 19 Heartafire February 7, 2015 at 16:31

        definitely!

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 23:53

        *bows and his hat falls off*

      • 21 Heartafire February 8, 2015 at 14:01

        awkward…..

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 01:27

        *picks it up quickly* Umm…goodness! Never an awkward moment with the professor madam!

  5. 23 Fatina96 February 5, 2015 at 06:28

    being a girl, that was rather rude of you to punch someone who reminded you of your bad deed to your lady!

    • 24 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:41

      *hangs head* But…Fatina! She wasn’t my lady. See, he was just saying that to bait me! Wasn’t that wrong of him first?

      • 25 Fatina96 February 6, 2015 at 09:36

        but why would you punch him for that?

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 04:13

        I don’t know…’cause it’s warrior-like?

      • 27 Fatina96 February 7, 2015 at 05:39

        no, that was very weak of you. A warrior never hurts an unarmed man, or never makes his move without a warning since that would mean that when he wins, he wins fair and square! and that my friend, is warrior like..

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 23:41

        *looks guilty* What should I do about it now?

      • 29 Fatina96 February 9, 2015 at 10:55

        A warrior is he who knows when to apologize.

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:45

        Oh, rats. Do I have to?

      • 31 Fatina96 February 10, 2015 at 12:43

        if you ever want to call yourself a true warrior, then yes indeed.

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 21:46

        *goes and does it then comes back* How was that?

      • 33 Fatina96 February 11, 2015 at 16:39

        Great! now you can call yourself a warrior! what did he say though?

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 22:00

        He accepted it, but said I shouldn’t ever hit anyone.

      • 35 Fatina96 February 12, 2015 at 17:28

        thats fine then :p

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:49

        But I like hitting!

      • 37 Fatina96 February 14, 2015 at 14:10

        *punches you square in the stomach* really? i do too ;)

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke February 14, 2015 at 18:24

        Ow! Hey! You…attacked me! *laughing*

      • 39 Fatina96 February 18, 2015 at 13:25

        I am a warrior, i was born to attack. ;) :p

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke February 19, 2015 at 00:03

        But…girls can’t be warriors!

      • 41 Fatina96 February 19, 2015 at 17:37

        excuse you sir. What makes you say such a stupid thing? Fact is, girls are better warriors than boys.

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 02:16

        *mouth drops open further than before thought possible by scientists* They are??????

      • 43 Fatina96 February 21, 2015 at 10:55

        -_- YES!

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2015 at 20:27

        *refuses to believe and holds ears* I can’t hear you the sudden.

      • 45 Fatina96 February 27, 2015 at 14:07

        if the pigeon closes its eyes when it sees a cat… it dies. :p

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2015 at 19:39

        Now that is very smart, Ms. Fatina. I like it lots!

      • 47 Fatina96 February 28, 2015 at 16:58

        hehehe thanks. Now lets see you learn something from it. :p

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke March 1, 2015 at 00:02

        Won’t do it, dadblameit!

      • 49 Fatina96 March 1, 2015 at 08:08

        why so?

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2015 at 12:33

        Well, I suppose I should. But don’t you think I’m stubborn?

      • 51 Fatina96 March 14, 2015 at 14:18

        so? I am no less stubborn actually, but i dont ever close my eyes, maybe just a blink from time to time..but never more than that!

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke March 14, 2015 at 19:07

        *laughs* Not even when you sleep?

      • 53 Fatina96 March 24, 2015 at 17:06

        lol yeah, then as well… ;)

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 20:18

        So, you don’t sleep like Gandalf see.

  6. 55 Louis from VA February 4, 2015 at 22:21

    Maybe Amelia started the last one…
    But I think maybe you started this one, Professor.

    • 56 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:28

      *bows head* I know…rats. Well…it’s not my fault…is it? Rats.

  7. 57 The Lite Rider February 4, 2015 at 22:15

    Ha, ha HA! A red drink into Mr. R’s face! And … is Amelia a “ladly”?

    • 58 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:27

      Yes! He so deserved that! Nah…do you think so? *laughs*

  8. 59 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 4, 2015 at 21:07

    Hmmm. My three favorite men about the table and one is apparently drunk! You just hit Mr. R. THE MAN LEAD TO DEFEND A WOMAN’S HONOR? ! Duketh….I’m shocked. *sparkles* And now you’ve befuddled My Magi, as well, even after he raised one eyebrow over the other. Isn’t he something?
    I do love the way you professorishly reacted, but I wonder why you punched Ratherquite out…. *bets Duke was drinking red cherry wine*

    • 60 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:41

      *laughs* I was not drunk! (Was I?) Well, wasn’t Mr. R…well, wasn’t what he was saying frustrating? Then he called Amelia my lady! You should give him the stink eye, please.

      • 61 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 5, 2015 at 04:28

        *smiles* Well, drunk on love, maybe. (Sorta) I don’t see anything wrong with what he said. You should have a lady. I can’t argue that point. Amelia…not sure, but you’ve said she’s hideous, so she couldn’t possibly be your lady. You have standards, I’m sure. I am really good at the stink eye, I know. *sparkles*

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:36

        *stink eye* I’m not drunk on love! *growls like a T-Rex* Why do I need a lady?

      • 63 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 6, 2015 at 21:11

        *laughs* I never presumed you were, Duketh. Did I? *jumps up quickly* I never said you needed a lady.

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 04:26

        Yes you did. But why did you?

      • 65 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 7, 2015 at 15:59

        You’re right, I sorta did, mostly I made an observation that you could have been drunk on love. Not that you were… Now, mostly, a lady could make you smile and locate your heart. I could suggest a man, I suppose.

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 23:53

        Suggest a man for what?

      • 67 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 8, 2015 at 02:24

        Company.

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 01:23

        Company can be a scary thing, though.

      • 69 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 9, 2015 at 04:09

        Do you think so?

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:43

        Well, what if you’re visited by Dracula, for instance?

      • 71 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 10, 2015 at 04:43

        Sounds scary. He’s not a nice vampire..

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 21:42

        He just like the others, I hear.

      • 73 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 11, 2015 at 02:37

        *looks around* not all others!

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 21:47

        Uh-huh!

      • 75 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 11, 2015 at 22:32

        Boo hissssss!

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 23:17

        A snake!

      • 77 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 12, 2015 at 04:14

        Dissatisfied one, I think. Worst kind. *sparkles*

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:24

        They’re the ones that bite, you know.

      • 79 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 13, 2015 at 04:36

        Seems you’re afraid.

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2015 at 19:23

        Only of the fangs.

      • 81 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 13, 2015 at 23:04

        Me, too.

  9. 82 desertdweller29 February 4, 2015 at 18:37

    The warrior doth protest too much, me thinks. I believe your pants are to blame for this unwanted attention, Professor. Time to move on to overalls before you are charged with assault!

    • 83 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:40

      Do you think jeans (red ones) might be acceptable?

      • 84 desertdweller29 February 4, 2015 at 22:15

        That should do it! Make sure they’re skinny jeans too.

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:27

        Skinny jeans are too girlish!!!!!!!!!

      • 86 desertdweller29 February 6, 2015 at 00:55

        True! What was I thinking?? What would MM say?! *hangs head in shame*

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 01:01

        He’d attack me, probably. Hey! I bet you want the professor to die!

  10. 88 Simply Skeptical February 4, 2015 at 18:01

    Quite huffy there Prof. Is it that emotions run high when Amelia is the subject? What could it mean? Aha, I think I know. (smirks)

    • 89 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:39

      *evil professor face* Don’t I look horrid the sudden?

      • 90 Simply Skeptical February 4, 2015 at 23:51

        No never horrid. Your emotions are running wild. Just give her a hug and make up. You might feel much better then.

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:32

        But what if she has lice?

  11. 92 Angeline M February 4, 2015 at 17:29

    I am wondering if your activities are a side effect of that shot from DS. Or was it the sun in LA, or the sore feet in LA. So many wonderments. I would recommend you stay off the red juice.

    • 93 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:39

      It could be the red juice! But I must admit: DS’s thing has been a problem. What should I do about it?

      • 94 Angeline M February 4, 2015 at 23:10

        You need to search for the antidote.

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:31

        What do you suppose it could maybe be?

  12. 96 Nancy Loderick February 4, 2015 at 16:43

    Well Professor,

    Warriors like you have their own code of behavior and it isn’t easily understood by non-warriors.

    Nancy

    • 97 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:39

      That’s a very good point! Do you mind if I quote it?

      • 98 Nancy Loderick February 9, 2015 at 17:02

        Of course you can Professor!

        Professors need to have a lot of quotes handy. :)

        Nancy

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:55

        That’s true. It is. It is.

  13. 100 Debbie February 4, 2015 at 16:41

    Professor, you ARE a warrior — well done, sir! Nothing like a splash of disgusting red juice followed by a swift punch to the chin to assert your position. (At least, I’m going to assume you really don’t want Amelia to be “your lady.” If that’s not the case, then I’ll just *flounce* off with all your other commenters!)

    I’m a bit miffed over Mr. R’s statement that ladies “are sensible creatures,” then by his insistence not to do anything to “upset” them. Rats and a heifer! Sensible people don’t get discombobulated over the least little things. Of course, maybe “his ladies” are like that?!

    I do love the idea behind thinking something unimportant and having it become so, though. I’ll have more thinks about that one!

    • 101 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:38

      Don’t flounce! Goodness. *laughs* Yes, yes. Mr. R was quite out of hand. So, I had to beat him up a bit. Was I too mean?

      Right on! His Ladies need some help. You should have speaks with him…point him in the right direction, see.

      Try it! It works. Plus, it’s wicked!

      • 102 Debbie February 4, 2015 at 21:51

        I’m really not much of a “flouncer.” I prefer shouting a bit, then slamming a door or two. It’s the combination of fighting Irish and Sicilian, you know!

        As for Mr. R., well, his ladies obviously like him or they wouldn’t hang around. But his tone is somewhat patronizing, don’t you think, and not everybody needs protecting from an upset now and then!

        By the way, I thought you were going to bring back some of that L.A. sunshine and warmth — it’s SNOWING here. Again.

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:25

        *laughing* Slamming a door is top rate fun, isn’t it?

        I agree! He’s definitely patronizing. Dallas is more of a gentleman!

        I know! I just got 2 inches of snow. Well, I was going to bring it…but you said you loved snow.

  14. 104 L. Marie February 4, 2015 at 16:36

    Wow.

    • 105 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:37

      *laughing lots and lots* This comment made my day.

  15. 106 walt walker February 4, 2015 at 15:47

    You should’ve finished him.

    On second though, better that you didn’t. It could get complicated. Plus, I rather like Ratherquite, despite his ways.

    • 107 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:31

      Walt, I think you should have speaks with him. I think you should let him know what’s what. He needs someone to do it.

      • 108 walt walker February 4, 2015 at 22:12

        Shouldn’t that be you, Old Sport? I mean, I have not even met the fellow. It would be…uncomfortable. And you’ve already got his attention with that thrust to the chin-bone.

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:27

        Well, true, but I think you might do well with him. I should bring him over your house…for tea and cucumbers.

  16. 110 FictionFan February 4, 2015 at 13:38

    Tut, tut, Professor! I fear Mr Ratherquite was merely speaking the truth, and it is clearly your guilty conscience that has led you to react in such a rude and crude manner. Let’s just examine the facts – did you or did you not call Amelia beautiful? *cries* Did you or did you not wink at her? *sobs* Are you or are you not obsessed with the hideous little creature and her revolting, false fluttering eyelashes that look like some kind of insect from a swamp jungle crawling over her smug face??? *howls* You are a fickle philanderer, sir, with pants so extraordinarily beautiful that no woman can resist! And it will serve you right if you end up married to that… that… thing for eighty years!!!

    Or ninety!

    • 111 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:27

      What’s a philanderer? It looks worrisome, you know, you know.

      Well, I only half called her beautiful. I did wink…I suppose I should admit that. I’ll be honest about that. And…you must admit, insects from a swamp jungle sound really really really really really neatio!

      90 years? You don’t mean it!

      • 112 FictionFan February 5, 2015 at 13:09

        A fickle Professor, that’s what!

        Maybe half of her is beautiful – shame about the other half. Aha! At last! An admission of guilt! Well, you’ll need to make up for it by winking at ALL of your followers today – even Walt! *chuckles* Only you could find that an attractive image! You’re strange…

        95!

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:42

        Hmm…I’d rather be a warrior, please.

        Winking at all of them? How else can I make it up? Yeah, that comes from the person who hates earthworms!

        I’ll die!

      • 114 FictionFan February 6, 2015 at 15:09

        But can warriors be fickle? I bet Hector never winked!

        Oh, you’ve been so sweet recently, I’ve almost forgiven you. But… that’s normal!

        I should imagine death would be preferable…

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 04:14

        Now I’m wondering if he whistled…

        Almost? *begging eyes* Is not. Don’t you ever save them after a rain?

        I bet it would be, dadblameit. Thanks for the lovely options!

      • 116 FictionFan February 7, 2015 at 17:02

        But what would he whistle?

        Well…the eyes are pretty irresistible, I admit (quite unfair, actually) and, being in youtube to find Burns’ songs, I found myself drawn to a relisten of the Bach Wars and all of a sudden I’m feeling very forgiving… *soppy PEP face*

        Save them from what?? Need I remind you it rains here incessantly – it would be a full-time job!

        My pleasure!

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 23:56

        Made in America by Toby Keith, I’m guessing.

        *smiles bigly* Thanks, FEF. Makes this professor so happy that you actually like that video. Buy the way, I spent the afternoon writing that arrangement down. I shall play it for a competition, I think.

        I know…but if you walk out and see one…you should be gentlemanly to it.

      • 118 FictionFan February 8, 2015 at 19:03

        Hector used WD40?!? But what on?

        I love it!! The competition this summer? I didn’t realise you’d be able to actually play it live because of all the different bits overlapping each other – if you understand what I mean?

        Why? When did a worm last carry me over a puddle?!?

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 01:33

        His chariot hubcaps! I was shocked when I first saw it, too.

        Gee, thanks! *blushes* Yes, that’s the one! *nervous* I understand precisely! That’s part of the fun part: I’m re-arranging it for a single guitar! Should be an interest.

        *laughs* Has anyone ever carried you over a puddle?

      • 120 FictionFan February 9, 2015 at 17:14

        *laughs* I bet he had an engine in his chariot too – that’d have taken the Greeks by surprise!

        Bet you’ll knock their socks off! It should indeed be an interest! Will we get to hear the result sometime?

        No. Thanks for asking. *glum face*

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:57

        Haha! That would have been spicy. His mechanic was just developing that when…

        Well…but you’ve already heard it!

        You should be happy about it.

      • 122 FictionFan February 10, 2015 at 17:49

        Not the one-guitar version!!

        Hmm…

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 22:00

        I’m staring at the finished arrangement today, and I’m wondering why I just did that to myself.

      • 124 FictionFan February 11, 2015 at 17:16

        I imagine it can’t be easy! But it will be worth it for the pleasure it will undoubtedly give FF, should she ever be lucky enough to hear you play it…

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 22:59

        You mean live? This is probably one that I’ll throw out of the repertoire in a few months. It’s ghastly.

      • 126 FictionFan February 12, 2015 at 16:54

        Well, live via video…if you decide to at some time. Bet it’s not! Or do you mean to play, rather than to listen to?

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:46

        It sounds very close to the one you know, only for one guitar. It’s hard to play!

      • 128 FictionFan February 13, 2015 at 16:28

        But not too hard for my talented C-W-W!! *nods confidently*

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2015 at 19:38

        I’m practicing hours a day! *proud face*

      • 130 FictionFan February 13, 2015 at 23:38

        *prouder face* See, you’re just like Rafa…

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke February 14, 2015 at 18:20

        That’s cool! I actually like the comparison.

      • 132 FictionFan February 14, 2015 at 22:52

        So do I! *smiles bigly*

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:46

        *bows*

  17. 134 Susan P February 4, 2015 at 13:34

    Oh dear, Professor. You need to lay off of the Kickapoo-joy juice. There is no going back now. This might be the time that you return to the UK.

    • 135 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:26

      *laughing* Kickapoo…is that a real thing? Sounds quite an interest. I’ll just come stay with you and Harry, if you don’t mind.

      • 136 Susan P February 4, 2015 at 23:36

        There is such a thing, but I believe it cam into being many years ago in a now defunct comic strip.

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kickapoo_Joy_Juice

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:31

        That is so funny. I love that word, you know. We should adopt it into the Punchy world, huh?

      • 138 Susan P February 7, 2015 at 00:13

        That sounds like a plan!

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 04:31

        *nods*

  18. 140 PorterGirl February 4, 2015 at 13:11

    Wowawee! That was rather dramatic, Professor. And how curious that they should think that you had insulted Amelia, when I (and FF, I am quite sure) thought you had paid her a compliment and were planning to marry her. In my opinion, Amelia should have been grateful for your kind words. What a churlish swamp-donkey she is.

    ‘Just think of it as unimportant and it usually becomes that way’ – this is the truest thing I have heard today -No! – all week. Maybe ever. It’s brilliant.

    Very much enjoyed the violent outburst at the end – you should watch out that MM doesn’t become jealous of your manliness!

    • 141 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2015 at 21:25

      *Laughing* That’s a wonder: churlish swamp-donkey! I quite like that phrase, you know. Aren’t you glad I decided not to marry her? (Not that I was ever planning it!!!)

      Isn’t it so freeing?

      I know. I should be nicer!

      • 142 PorterGirl February 5, 2015 at 06:17

        It’s a good phrase but I don’t think Amelia would like it! I am pleased you are not planning on marrying her – I bet she can’t even cook.

        very much so. It is now my philosophy for the rest of the week.

        nice but warrior-like. That’s the way to be!

      • 143 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2015 at 00:40

        Yes, yes! Goodness. *dies at the thought* True. Bet she can’t even open cashews from a can!!!

        Mine too, if I can remember it. (Give Terry a pat for me. I don’t know why, but I just thought about him.)

        Yes…Lucy! I was wicked.

      • 144 PorterGirl February 6, 2015 at 06:09

        Pah! You had a lucky escape, Professor.

        Terry is grateful for your pat and sends a purr in return. He asks if next time you will send him tummy tickles? The cheek of him!

        wicked but… spicy!

      • 145 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 04:09

        *gulps* I do say you’re right!

        *laughing* Okay, give him one for me!

        Nice!!!

      • 146 PorterGirl February 7, 2015 at 14:29

        *laughs* Terry says thanks for the tummy rub! He tried to eat my bacon this morning, the little tyke

      • 147 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2015 at 23:44

        *laughs* Well, I would have eaten your bacon, too, I must admit.

      • 148 PorterGirl February 8, 2015 at 07:53

        Bacon is the BEST! I always put up a fight for bacon

      • 149 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 01:25

        I know! Bacon is the best breakfast meat. Plus, it’s good for lunch and dinner.

      • 150 PorterGirl February 9, 2015 at 08:44

        So true! Perfect at any time of day or night. It truly is a meat for all seasons

      • 151 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:44

        Even for a midnight snack.

      • 152 PorterGirl February 10, 2015 at 07:28

        Even then

      • 153 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 21:44

        *nods*


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TPL Schedule

Sunday: OFF — Day of Shalt Nots

Monday: TPL Story

Tuesday: OFF — Because I'm Gone

Wednesday: Professor Speaks

Thursday: OFF — Because Yes

Friday: OFF — All Day Sleep Does

Saturday: OFF — Blue-Footed Boobies Need Fed

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Professorish Smiley:

==[:-{)=

or

==[:-{)+

Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


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