Getting in a Stranger’s Car

The professor usually travels incognito.

What I mean is: usually, I’m not in my white suit.

It sorta looks like this:

ProfVJDuke2-2

Artwork by Alastair Savage

Yes, so that’s that. Usually, I’m dressed in my battle uniform, which is quite simple: T-Shirt, cargo pants, and a hoody. And maybe a hat depending on the day. (Always have throwing knives concealed as well. Did you know the professor was deadly with them? I didn’t either.)

So, I was incognito one day, when something scary happened.

I was on my way to the park (which isn’t too far from the professorish abode) when a car stopped. (I was walking along the road, see.)

It was a fancy car. A woman was driving and there was a fellow in the passenger seat. They were both dressed up. I mean, gown and bowtie and all that jazz.

The lady—I suppose I should call her—put down her window.

“Excuse me,” she said, “would you happen to know where 501 Northcutt is?”

And I did know. Remember, I’ve a great sense of direction.

“Sure thing,” I said. “This is how you get there: continue on this road till you reach a stop sign. Turn left there. Then go down that hill and make a quick right onto a side street that everyone always misses. Stay on there for about a minute (give or take a few seconds and some) then turn right, then a quick left. At that point, you’ll be at an intersection. Turn left. Now you’re on Northcutt. Continue on until you see a sign that says ‘no trespassing.’ Turn up that driveway.”

The reason the sign is there, you must understand, is because it’s private property. Very wealthy up there, I hear.

The lady couldn’t have looked more confused.

Now the fellow said something: “Look here, chap, that didn’t make much sense at all. Now…where is it?!”

“Are you late?” I asked.

“Horribly!!!” the woman said. She was getting angry, and I was enjoying this.

“Hurry up with the directions,” the fellow said.

“Well…don’t you have a GPS?” I asked.

The lady scoffed. “GPS’s are for the drivers to use.”

The professor was confused the sudden. “Aren’t you a driver?”

You would have thought I said something rather nasty.

“Our driver, you should know,” she began angrily, “called off sick at the last moment!”

“Dear me.”

Then she said it: “Get in the car. You’ll give us directions on the way.”

The professor opened the back door, and climbed in.

Now you should know a few things:

One, it’s okay to get into a stranger’s car if you’re more powerful than the strangers. Two, I usually don’t take commands like that, but this was too fun to pass up.

We continued on for some, and I gave the directions like a good fellow.

Soon, we were there. Up the long driveway and in front of a mansion.

Lots of fellows and ladies were there, going into the house.

It was a party.

A fancy one.

The lady turned around and smiled. “I insist you come in with us as our guest.”

We were on time.

The fellow nodded. “Yes, you must. We were permitted to have three in our party.”

I was underdressed, but it was going to be fun, I thought.

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143 Responses to “Getting in a Stranger’s Car”


  1. 1 Hazy February 15, 2015 at 07:15

    The GPS should be insulted, I think. Only for drivers to use! I’m a passenger and I use GPS! (I *still* get lost though, I envy the professor’s excellent sense of direction)

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:52

      *laughs* I think you’re right! Aw, thanks. It’s natural. I’m like the llama in the Emperor’s New Groove, see.

      • 3 Hazy March 7, 2015 at 07:04

        Haha, that llama is cool! *grooves like the emperor*

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2015 at 00:15

        *laughing*

  2. 5 InfiniteZip February 10, 2015 at 17:02

    hoodies can be sexy you know,,,but can they conceal a catana? I thought they were rather large?

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 21:57

      *eyes open largely* Oh, they cannot be that!

      • 7 InfiniteZip February 11, 2015 at 16:51

        To the young girls…they find it so.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 22:01

        Do they really? Really?

  3. 9 walt walker February 10, 2015 at 02:15

    Professor, I’ve some opinions on the matter…

    1) I don’t like the way she ordered you into the vehicle. Not a bit.
    2) I do like that you got in for fun.
    3) I don’t like the way you pooh-poohed the peril of it, regardless of your power levels.
    4) I don’t like the way you were armed. You know throwing knives are no good in close combat. Brass knuckles would be better. Pistols more so. Each of these increases power levels.
    5) I do like your sense of adventure.
    6) I do like cargo shorts. I frequent them.
    7) I do like flaunting the conventions of fancy parties by arriving in cargo.
    8) I do hope you escape without drinks overturned, faces slapped, or chins thrusted upon.
    9) What ho! Ahoy! Egads! Go get ‘um!

    • 10 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 21:39

      Brass knuckles! You do have a point. I should get some. I’ll give a pair to you as well.

      But…really, Walt, what could those two have done against the professor? No danger, I tell you. And she did order, which was bad.

      Cargo shorts! I must look into these. I just have the pants version.

      • 11 walt walker February 10, 2015 at 22:30

        Yes, get four. Actually, get five. I tend to lose them.

        They could do nothing, I’m sure. I’ve seen your moves. Or rather, I’ve not seen them. I mean, they occur so rapidly.

        Oh you had the pants kind. I like the shorts kind. But I bet the pants could conceal more weaponry.

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 21:44

        You lose them? Walt, are you fighting lots?

        That’s right. So super fast, the rabbits can’t even see them. And rabbits are fast.

        Good point…but the shorts allow for more ventilation.

      • 13 walt walker February 12, 2015 at 02:50

        Actually the opposite. I run away lots, and drop them.

        When I run away I am faster than the rabbits.

        In shorts, my speed is unmatched.

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:21

        Now, I was just about to berate you for running away, but if that’s your superpower (and it seems like it is) that’s rather cool.

  4. 15 Simply Skeptical February 10, 2015 at 01:01

    What a confusing set of directions. How unprofessorish of you to be there GPS (Laughing). BUT it paid-off since you get a high brow party out of deal! Way to go Prof. Can hardly wait to hear about the party.

    • 16 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 21:38

      I admit, my directions weren’t the best. But…but…rats.

  5. 17 John W. Howell February 9, 2015 at 21:29

    Yes go in.

    • 18 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 23:03

      The car or the party? I’m underdressed for the latter.

      • 19 John W. Howell February 9, 2015 at 23:06

        Not the car. The party. Tell em you live in Southampton. You’ll never be under dressed.

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 21:33

        *laughs* Is that where Jack came from?

      • 21 John W. Howell February 10, 2015 at 21:50

        Nope. New Jersey (Hamptons) vs. Massachusetts

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 22:08

        Oh! I was unaware of the war, I think.

      • 23 John W. Howell February 10, 2015 at 22:36

        LOL

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 21:44

        *laughing too*

  6. 25 Louis from VA February 9, 2015 at 21:26

    Oooh… Mysterious. :D

    • 26 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 23:03

      It sure is! I think I should key the car.

  7. 27 Debbie February 9, 2015 at 19:21

    I must say, Professor, your typical costume sounds much like what my Domer wears during off-work hours. Y’all would probably get along famously — guitars and all!

    That said, sir, I really don’t approve of you hopping in the car with strangers. Didn’t your parents warn you against that? Those fancy people didn’t tell you they’d lost their little dog, did they?? Or that they had a fist full of candy??

    Strangers — even nicely dressed strangers — are people you don’t know. And they could be dangerous. I’m sure you think you can take care of yourself, but sir, there were two of them and one of you. I don’t like the odds.

    • 28 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 23:03

      We probably would! It’s the most comfortable thing to wear, you know. I love hoodies. So does Bill of the Pats.

      *laughing* But…aren’t I more powerful? See, I suppose you’re right overall. Rats.

      But I’m a warrior like Hector, dadblameit!

      • 29 Debbie February 10, 2015 at 00:09

        Bill looks like…um, better not say. It’s a better look for a younger man, let’s just leave it at that!

        I love being right — even though I’m not always.

        Even warriors must use prudence, sir! Dadblameit!

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 21:37

        *laughs*

        But Hector didn’t have prudence!!!

  8. 31 desertdweller29 February 9, 2015 at 18:02

    I believe you’ve been set up, Professor. Proceed with caution. She may be a witch. Make sure you never take the first bite of anything.

    • 32 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 23:02

      Okay! So you don’t think she’s nice?

      • 33 desertdweller29 February 10, 2015 at 00:25

        Well she was rather rude, no?

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 21:37

        She was! Bet you would have slapped her.

  9. 35 Nancy Loderick February 9, 2015 at 17:58

    Hi Professor,

    Thanks for my laugh of the day. As I sit here, watching yet(!) another 2 feet of snow fall in Boston, I am desperate for diversions.

    You are quite the brave soul, getting into the car of a complete stranger. Even though you are more powerful than them, it’s still a brave thing to do.

    I had to smile as I read about your directions. I love to walk and people are always stopping their cars and asking me for directions. This is scary since I have absolutely no sense of direction.

    So what happened at the party?????

    Nancy

    • 36 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 23:02

      Another 2 feet! It all just melted here. Wow. Well, go sled riding, Nancy. That’s the only thing to be done.

      Well, was it a bit silly? It might have been.

      *laughing* Don’t you hate when you don’t know how to get somewhere and someone asks you?

      Well, I had soup. I’ll post that tomorrow!

      • 37 Nancy Loderick February 10, 2015 at 21:51

        Hey Professor,

        Yes, sledding would be good, or cross-country skiing or snowshoeing. I think I’d rather be sitting on a beach right now though. Even though I’m not really a beach person, I’m evolving into one.

        Nancy
        P.S. Eagerly awaiting your soup post. :)

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 22:08

        *laughs* The beach! Yes, that’s nice. But the sun is too hot!

      • 39 Nancy Loderick February 19, 2015 at 20:23

        Well Professor,

        As we approach the 5th big snowstorm in as many weeks, I would take some hot sunshine anytime!

        Nancy

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 02:31

        Yes, me too. Just got a lot of snow.

  10. 41 Tiefsa February 9, 2015 at 16:05

    Have fun. Don’t eat anything that might upset your stomach.

    • 42 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:55

      Good point! But what about soups…see, they always start with those, and those always have nasty contents.

  11. 43 Susan P February 9, 2015 at 15:57

    I smell trouble brewing. Professor, take care. Do you have your katan?

    • 44 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:54

      I didn’t! I’m completely unarmed–besides the throwing knives…horrid, huh?

      • 45 Susan P February 9, 2015 at 23:42

        Yes. Horrid. I durst not describe its visage.

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 21:36

        Please do. The visage is an interest.

      • 47 Susan P February 11, 2015 at 14:22

        No, sir, I *shudder*

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 21:56

        It must be horrid.

      • 49 Susan P February 11, 2015 at 22:21

        Oh, it is. you cannot
        imagine.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 23:13

        Bet I can! Like…Shrek?

      • 51 Susan P February 12, 2015 at 15:10

        More like Donkey. On Halloween.

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:36

        Ew!

      • 53 Susan P February 14, 2015 at 00:32

        Well, you asked.

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke February 14, 2015 at 18:21

        Did not, dadblameit!

      • 55 Susan P February 14, 2015 at 18:26

        Excuse me but you did. Just because you have gorgeous eyes doesn’t mean you can get away with everything/

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:39

        *shocked* Gorgeous eyes? How do you know that? They might be red!

      • 57 Susan P February 16, 2015 at 13:49

        Red is one of my favorite colors. I’m wearing it today.

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:57

        Are you? I bet a t-shirt! *shivers horribly*

      • 59 Susan P February 16, 2015 at 14:08

        Nope. It is a shirt that Bethy bought for me!

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 21:59

        No wonder it’s red!

      • 61 Susan P February 17, 2015 at 00:20

        Yes, she loves red. Mine is purple.

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 20:56

        Red is awesome.

      • 63 Susan P February 17, 2015 at 21:43

        Bethy is awesome. She makes awesome look easy.

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2015 at 23:50

        She absolutely does. You and Harry are great parents.

      • 65 Susan P February 19, 2015 at 15:16

        Crazy parents

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 02:09

        That’s half the battle.

      • 67 Susan P February 20, 2015 at 23:02

        Thank you, Professor. *blush*

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2015 at 20:24

        *handshake*

      • 69 Susan P February 22, 2015 at 00:06

        Why is one of your hands green?

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2015 at 12:15

        Poison ivy, I hear.

      • 71 Susan P February 23, 2015 at 13:19

        No, that doesn’t turn you green. That makes you swell up and makes you itch in the most horrible way. Me mother could get it from a mile away.

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2015 at 21:16

        *shivers* Horrible stuff!

      • 73 Susan P February 23, 2015 at 21:42

        Is Ruber allergic to it?

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2015 at 13:47

        Yes! There is this story circulating about TPL that when Ruber was a youth, his doctor (Scientist) tried to use poison ivy juice as a cure for a certain illness. Of course DS was supportive of it.

      • 75 Susan P February 24, 2015 at 20:41

        I’m not surprised. But I would think that someone would have looked into it.

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2015 at 00:14

        I know what you mean.

  12. 77 erinkenobi2893 February 9, 2015 at 13:26

    Oh, this is going to end interestingly! :-P

    • 78 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:52

      It sure will. Is it okay I went along?

      • 79 erinkenobi2893 February 10, 2015 at 12:48

        For sure! I never mind company :-)

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 21:48

        *smiles* That’s great then. Though, something tells me I should have torn up the seats in the back.

      • 81 erinkenobi2893 February 11, 2015 at 03:09

        That would just make things awkward…

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 21:51

        They wouldn’t haven noticed till later!

      • 83 erinkenobi2893 February 12, 2015 at 03:02

        Still awkward, though.

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:22

        Only if they see, I suppose.

      • 85 erinkenobi2893 February 13, 2015 at 14:38

        It’s ALWAYS awkward. *sigh* And it’s vandalism.

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2015 at 19:29

        But they were being mean!

      • 87 erinkenobi2893 February 16, 2015 at 01:48

        Well, they did let you come into the party with them, despite being under-dressed.

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:56

        Yeah…but they turned out to be mean.

      • 89 erinkenobi2893 February 16, 2015 at 14:35

        Really? Well, maybe you should have politely ignored them, then.

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 22:06

        But I’m not a polite sort of creature.

      • 91 erinkenobi2893 February 17, 2015 at 03:47

        Then you could have marched professorishly into the sunset, ignoring them!

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:03

        Oh! That’s a nice image, isn’t it?

      • 93 erinkenobi2893 February 17, 2015 at 23:49

        It is indeed. ^_^

  13. 94 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 9, 2015 at 13:20

    Did this really happen, Duketh? *laughing lots* I’m impressed with your directions, so much in fact that I want to try and find the mansion, too. Take the road everyone misses…quite right about that little helpful hint! *laughs more* I give directions via landmarks. Turn at the cute little yellow house, maybe it’s a right *checks her hands* at the next left or is it a right *pretends to be driving a car* definitely before the mailbox that thinks its a fish…sorta like that I’m not thrilled about you getting into a stranger’s cars, you know. (I’ve done that twice now in my life.) And being dressed so well they could have stolen you. Seems they did…. *wonders if we’ll hear the rest of the story* I enjoy seeing Alastair’s drawing of you again!

    • 95 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:52

      *laughs* Would you have been able to follow my directions, do you suppose?

      Cute yellow house… *laughs* See, that would throw me off. I’d never find a cute house. Never.

      You have? Wow! I didn’t know that. And how come? And why can’t I? I’m a vicious professor, you know. But was I dressed so well?

      Yes, the rest tomorrow!

      • 96 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 10, 2015 at 04:55

        Yes, I think I may have. If you would have talked slowly, which you didn’t do this time.

        Ahh, that is the significant difference between men and women. Women see cuteish things all the time. Men tend to see a money pit or something that needs food on a regular basis. *laughs* Houses can be cute, Duketh.

        Well, it would bore you to pieces to explain. You shouldn’t because you could be hurt…no matter what weapons are in your trousers. I know you’re a warrior, but…. Yes, well your attire wasn’t fit for a ball but smartly enough, I’d say. What sort of sweatshirt was it?

        Yay! Tomorrow is almost here. Shhh….

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 21:44

        How’d you know? I did say it really fast!

        Now, Audith, houses can’t be cute. As a matter of fact, I can’t think of anything that’s cute. Now that I”m thinking hard.

        But nothing! *flexes muscle and draws katana* I’m too powerful, see. It was a gray one, I think. Or something like that.

        Tomorrow is here!

      • 98 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 11, 2015 at 02:50

        Well, I figured you did, because you do, and neither understood your instructions in the end. ..you would make a poor driving instructor.

        Yes, houses can be cute!! Duketh! Stop it. *frowns* Plenty of cute things in the world: puppies, kittens, babies, small fruit (little bananas are super cute), smiles, haircuts, small European cars, noses, toes, humans, large animals, small animals, professionals, men in uniform, clowns, ducks are definitely cute, fish, comedians, dresses, shoes, nail polish, tiny flowers… *takes a drink of water*

        *watches and takes notes* You may be over selling it a bit, Duketh. *smirk* Gray…

        Tomorrow is nearly here…

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 21:50

        Yeah…well, that’s because my driving instructor was such a beast. I’m out for revenge, see.

        *laughing lots* You might as well put everything on that list! Not sure how babies are cute. Or cars! Unless you mean a vette. But that’s not cute; just…wow.

        I think you could be right. Yes, gray. Gray gray.

        Now, it’s either here, or it’s yet to come. I’m not sure which.

      • 100 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 11, 2015 at 22:35

        Poor guy…he was only doing his job.

        Hey! *throws everything on the list* *carries it on her back* Babies are cute. Gesh, you’re wicked. Vettes are okay.

        Gray gray…is that a color?

        Let me know when you decide.

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 23:19

        He should still be beaten.

        *laughs* Babies? Dear me. Vettes are okay?! What?! No!!!!

        I think so…darker than gray.

        I’ve decided not to decide.

      • 102 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 12, 2015 at 04:23

        Imma gonna help the guy out and get him a new home in Siberia. He was only doing his job.

        You’re correct. Vettes are not okay, just fine. Sorta ugly, really!! Same line as the Mustang. ..best to go with the Camero. Mr. Warrior thinks so, anyway.

        Oh. Hmm…darker than gray puts us in the black range.

        You have no choice. Tomorrow is soon.

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:26

        Siberia? *laughs wickedly* Oh, you can send him there. He’d have fun. The plump turtle!

        *shocked face* Mr. Warrior does have a point. Cameros are awesome. But…but…Vettes!!!!!!

        Well, it wasn’t black.

        Bring it!

      • 104 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 13, 2015 at 04:41

        You shouldn’t be so hard on him…imagine the job he has, plus he had to teach you. You know how forgetful you are, Duke, I bet it took months to remind you where to put your hands when holding the wheel.

        Vettes!!!! Fine, already, like them if you want.

        Oh, twas navy.

        In just a little bit.

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2015 at 19:24

        I did not! *shocked face* *riots*

        I will, thank you, madam!

        No, gray gray.

      • 106 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 13, 2015 at 23:06

        Seems possible…likey, actually. *watches you act the fool* *thows confetti and blows a horn*

        Anything for you.

        It was definitely gray gray. I agree.

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke February 14, 2015 at 18:14

        I knew how to drive before I was…born!

      • 108 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 14, 2015 at 22:10

        No ego…nope not you.

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:42

        I’m ego-less, my analysts say, siz.

      • 110 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 16, 2015 at 21:45

        I suppose they know best.

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 22:23

        Shouldn’t they?

      • 112 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 17, 2015 at 03:12

        If you think so, then yes, what do I know. I’ve not met them…my guess is that they want the best for you.

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:01

        Oh, you wouldn’t like them much.

      • 114 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 17, 2015 at 21:54

        Why? Do they tell you you’re horrible? Do they make you do things you don’t like to do? Seems advisors would do things like that, Duketh.

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2015 at 23:54

        Yes, and they make me shoot videos in 12 degree weather. -_-

      • 116 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 19, 2015 at 04:04

        Bossy, aren’t they, Duke. Seems you probably asked for it though… videos in this weather???? Brr.

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 01:50

        We’ll be filming outside in -6 degrees tomorrow!

      • 118 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 21, 2015 at 19:18

        I hope you survived. .

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2015 at 20:27

        We did! Wasn’t too bad, you should know.

      • 120 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 22, 2015 at 04:23

        -6 seems like it would be freezing. Well…below freezing, actually.

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2015 at 12:16

        Verily so!

  14. 122 FictionFan February 9, 2015 at 13:17

    I don’t know! A woman really just has to look at you and off you go, flirting shamelessly! What would poor Amelia think? *spits* And no doubt there will be dancing at this party! *growls* I must say I think for the woman to wear a bowtie with her gown is an odd fashion choice, but not perhaps as odd as the man wearing a gown with his bowtie! I wonder if her ballgown was made out of an old parachute…

    Well, have a great time at the party, my fickly philandering Professor – don’t put your knees out dancing flamenco, will you? You could probably use your knives to do a mean sword dance – your ladies would find that irresistible I’m sure!! *flounces off*

    • 123 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:51

      *shocked face* Did not neither flirt! When? I need specifics! Besides, there’s a chap next to her. *laughs* Did I say that? Bow tie’s should make ladies happy, since they like to be manly at times. *laughing more* Is that what your gown is made of! I see!!!

      My ladies? Be fair, FEF! You do know–at least, I hope you know–there’s lots of females in the world, and I can’t do anything about it. Think of it like turtles. I can’t control their population either. And don’t worry, no dancing. Promise.

      • 124 FictionFan February 10, 2015 at 17:47

        Standing there looking all cool in your extraordinarily beautiful pants and baffling her with your nifty directions!! I bet you winked at her!! I bet you did!! And it’s even worse that you flirted when she had a chap sitting beside her! Shocking! Hmm… when I wore my bowtie I felt awfully feminine, you know, and the boys seemed to think I looked quite feminine too… *flutters eyelashes and simpers*. No it is not, Cheeky Chicky!! As you will discover when we dance…

        Turtles?!? Look here, in the last week I’ve been a potato, a duck and now I’m a turtle?!? Do make your mind up! *flounces/rolls/waddles/swims off*

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 21:59

        I was actually trying to confuse her. And I was just standing there like a professor would, dadblameit! And I didn’t wink. I won’t ever wink again, and if I do, I’ll tell you immediately. Well that chap…he had a skinny neck, just like Darby. I bet you looked awesome in one. You just prove that it can be done the right way is all. Dance…what sort of dance? I’ve never asked that, I think.

        *laughs apologetically* I’m real sorry, FEF. But look on the good side: it means I like you lots.

      • 126 FictionFan February 11, 2015 at 17:14

        *nods* Yes, like a flirtatiously fickle Professor would – exactly! *laughs lots* That’s very wise and quite sweet! But better if you tell me in advance, when you get the urge, and I can take preventative measures… Darby has a beautiful neck! That’s why he doesn’t need an Edelman! Awww, thanks! *blushes* I admit it, I did look swish! The cotillion, remember? Then the flamenco, a waltz, a sword dance and we’ll finish off with the Dashing White Segeant…

        Awww! You can call me a potato whenever you like then… *smiles like a potato*

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 22:59

        I flirt like a butterfly and sting like a bee. What sort of preventative measures? I don’t like the sound of that. Hey! Maybe I need an Edelman! Swish? *laughs* (Why did you wear one again? Wait, you never told me.) Hey! That’s more than once dance. And the last one you just obviously made up on the spot.

        *nods* Good then! We have an accord. *fist pump*

      • 128 FictionFan February 12, 2015 at 15:48

        Now how do you know that quotation?!? You’ll find out… What? Shaving halfway up your head? I think not, sir! (Because I am the Queen of Style… *nods decidedly*) Be honest, now! Doesn’t the Dashing White Sergeant sound like fun?

        *laughs* What have I done?!?

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:43

        I really am timeless, you know. I thought you knew that!

        Yes…shaving up the side of the head. He looks cool!

        Umm…nah. It sounds racist a bit.

        Nothing…potato.

  15. 130 Alastair Savage February 9, 2015 at 13:14

    You will need concealed plastic knives (and forks and paper plates) if you’re going to a party. Oh hang on, this is a posh party so maybe you’ll need to bring a spoon too.

    • 131 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:48

      *laughs* A spoon! How do I always forget one? They’re good for attacking with, too, ’cause they’re dull. Hurts more, see.

  16. 132 PorterGirl February 9, 2015 at 13:01

    Oooh! This is exciting. I think this party will be super top-notch and maybe you will wish you had a top hat, at least. But do not let such things worry you. Find the buffet quick sharp and begin from there.

    Now, I think it is quite a good idea to get into strangers cars sometimes. This is definitely the sort of thing I would do, especially if dressed incognito. Hoodies are super, aren’t they?

    • 133 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2015 at 22:48

      I will find the food! And I’ll report and let you know if it was tasty or not.

      They are! Do you wear them? So, Lucy, you would have jumped in the car, too!

      • 134 PorterGirl February 10, 2015 at 07:29

        Excellent! Yes let me know. The food is the most important thing.

        I do wear hoodies they are both stylish and snug. I like the ones with a big pocket at the front so I can carry all my stuff. And Terry! I would certainly have jumped in the car and sang all the way to the party

      • 135 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2015 at 21:44

        *laughing* They need pockets in the front! Though I’ve never had a cat in one…

      • 136 PorterGirl February 11, 2015 at 07:30

        Terry is getting a bit big to go in there now but I shove him in as best I can

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 21:52

        *laughs* Be careful you don’t break one of his bones!

      • 138 PorterGirl February 11, 2015 at 22:14

        I will take great care. Do you know, he has caught two mice today

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2015 at 23:10

        Seriously? That’s awesome. He’s a natural hunter. Some cats *looks at Charlemagne* just don’t have what it takes.

      • 140 PorterGirl February 12, 2015 at 06:05

        *laughs * Terry will share his mice with Charlemagne (great name for a cat! )

      • 141 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:28

        Charlemagne probably wouldn’t take them, the imp.

      • 142 PorterGirl February 13, 2015 at 05:55

        The little imp indeed!

      • 143 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2015 at 19:26

        Yeah!!!


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