Traveling Pains

You may know (or mayn’t, depending on your disposition) that this professor was about traveling a few weeks back, I think.

My mind is a bit hazy on the exact date.

Anyway, the professor was traveling.

And you see, once I landed at the airport, I had to find a bus (or some sort of transportation) to the hotel.

(I do have a sense of direction, you know. It’s rather spotless, but I still didn’t want to walk the distance.)

So, this professor walked out from baggage claim (took a bit too long for the bags to arrive) and began the search for a bus.

I saw a sign and headed towards it.

A rather dark lady was standing there.

“Uhh…hello,” I said.

“Can I help you?” she said. She seemed to be in a bit of a hurry.

“Yes, yes you can. I need to go to this address.” And this professor showed her a paper. “It’s in Anaheim,” I added.

She looked at the address for a bit, then looked at me quizzically. “That address isn’t in Anaheim, honey. Someone gave you the wrong address.”

Now, at this point, I was quite gardoobled.

See, I’d printed the address directly from the hotel’s website, and I was rather sure they knew where they were at.

At least, I hoped so.

“But see here,” I began, “this is the hotel’s address. Promise.” I added ‘promise’ after a seconds thought. That usually helps matters, you know, you know.

She shook her head. I think she was feeling bad for me.

“Honey, that may be the address, but it’s in the wrong county. Not Anaheim. Someone gave you the wrong address.”

“Dadblameit,” I muttered.

“When the driver comes, show him. He’ll know better than me.”

And that’s exactly what this professor did. Turns out, the lady was wrong.

Moral: Never argue with the hotel’s website directions.

Ever.

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137 Responses to “Traveling Pains”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 March 26, 2015 at 13:02

    I think she was just confusticating.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 20:26

      I was going to beat her!

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 March 27, 2015 at 13:52

        Which is not a good idea, in general.

  2. 4 The Lite Rider February 15, 2015 at 20:24

    Oops. And then oops again. Darn! Laughing lots, but not in a mean way!

    • 5 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:55

      It was a day of oops, I Fear.

  3. 6 Hazy February 15, 2015 at 07:31

    The professor’s mind is a bit hazy! That’s sort of a good thing, don’t ya think? *smiles bigly*

    Well, that lady sounded more confident than the hotel people who wrote the address. I bet she hasn’t been to Anaheim or perhaps she got her address wrong and was trying to get back at somebody. tsk tsk at the mean lady.

    • 7 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:54

      I absolutely do!!!

      You’re right! I bet she was just messing with me. Bad thing!

      • 8 Hazy March 7, 2015 at 07:11

        You know, I remember in college, the upperclassmen had a ball tricking the freshmen into thinking that rooms marked “TBA” were actually rooms. They gave them directions to “TBA” when in fact, it’s “to be announced” *laughs* Such meanies!

      • 9 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2015 at 00:16

        *laughs too* That’s epic!

      • 10 Hazy March 9, 2015 at 02:18

        Epic… Epicly mean! *laughs*

      • 11 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2015 at 00:48

        *laughs too*

  4. 12 Simply Skeptical February 14, 2015 at 20:27

    I hate the frustration of confusion especially if it’s not mine and I hate even more being called “honey”. Of course, those honey kind aren’t the most reliable. Another moral: Never trust someone who calls you “honey” or “girl” (giggles)

    • 13 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:41

      Imagine the professor getting called girl! *dies*

  5. 14 Nancy Loderick February 14, 2015 at 20:20

    Well Professor,

    I am so glad you didn’t end up in Sonoma Valley or some place like that! Not that I have a clue about California geography.

    Nancy

    • 15 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:41

      Well, if I ended up there, I’d hunt rattlesnakes.

      • 16 Nancy Loderick February 17, 2015 at 17:03

        As long as you had your knife collection with you, I guess you’d be all set! Although if you didn’t have your knives, what would you use to hunt the rattlesnakes?

        Nancy

      • 17 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:25

        Hmm…a plastic fork; that might work!

      • 18 Nancy Loderick February 19, 2015 at 20:22

        Well Professor,

        You have to make do with what you have! :)

        Nancy

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 02:30

        *grumbles about fairness*

  6. 20 gridthusto February 14, 2015 at 01:18

    You are an amazing storyteller. Always a good laugh!

    • 21 Professor VJ Duke February 14, 2015 at 18:23

      Aw, thanks so much! Good to meet you. How’re you?

  7. 22 Louis from VA February 12, 2015 at 22:50

    Never, for sure!
    GPS once took us to an abandoned parking lot instead of a hotel once.

    • 23 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2015 at 19:20

      Haha! Really? They can be devilish at times.

  8. 24 sonmi upon the Cloud February 12, 2015 at 20:25

    She was out to bamboozle you! Or just wrong, one of the other. Watch out for shady ladies Professor.

    – sonmi wearing sunglasses upon the Cloud

    • 25 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:51

      What would you have done, Sonmi?

      • 26 sonmi upon the Cloud February 12, 2015 at 22:33

        I’d have checked to see if she was a robot by holding a magnet up to her forehead and seeing if it stuck.

        – s.u.t.C

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2015 at 19:20

        You would try and suck her brains out!

      • 28 sonmi upon the Cloud February 13, 2015 at 21:35

        What a lovely picture you have of me dear Professor.
        You’re quite right though.

        – sonmi sucking brains out upon the Cloud

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke February 14, 2015 at 18:11

        *laughing lots* You’re a Nandi bear!

      • 30 sonmi upon the Cloud February 14, 2015 at 18:16

        My friends call me Ngoloko.

        – sonmi baring teeth upon the Cloud

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke February 14, 2015 at 18:25

        Wow. What do you think of that?

      • 32 sonmi upon the Cloud February 14, 2015 at 18:29

        It’s questionable?

        – s.u.t.C

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:40

        I say embrace it!

  9. 34 John W. Howell February 12, 2015 at 20:04

    I have never met anyone who didn’t know more than me about everything.

    • 35 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:50

      *laughs* This is epic… *reads it again* I love this!

  10. 36 walt walker February 12, 2015 at 17:10

    Sometimes you just have to drive the bus yourself.

    • 37 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:49

      I like the way you think! You mean, wait for the bus to come, kick the driver out, and drive away!

  11. 38 desertdweller29 February 12, 2015 at 16:03

    Moral: Never trust a stranger that calls you “honey”. Never. Ever.

    • 39 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:45

      Quite right. That was belittling to this professor, wouldn’t you say?

      • 40 desertdweller29 February 12, 2015 at 22:18

        Indeed. Did she not know she was speaking with a professorial warrior? Which, I might add, tend not to be sweet like honey, but practical and spicy like Spam! I hope you told her: Good day to you! (And not sweetly, but spamly.)

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2015 at 19:19

        *laughs* I did! I didn’t even wave bye to her, you should know.

  12. 42 Debbie February 12, 2015 at 15:58

    You asked a random stranger for directions to your hotel??? You’re teasing us, right? A professor never would do that — he’d have hied himself straightway to the taxi/rental car desk, picked up the phone, and called the hotel desk for a courtesy van. (See, there’s my logic kicking in again! What can I say, it’s a gift!!)

    You’re lucky you didn’t end up in Tijuana, you know!

    • 43 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:45

      *laughing lots* No! She worked for the shuttle that was coming to get me. And she said that! Can you believe it? I can’t.

      Ooo, where’s that? I might like to go.

      • 44 Debbie February 12, 2015 at 21:49

        She was in a position of authority and misled you? Shame on the beast!

        Mexico. Has a bad rep for murders and drug trade. Best stay far away!

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:52

        Exactly! Good thing the driver knew what was what, Debbie.

        Can’t I just go for a peek?

  13. 46 L. Marie February 12, 2015 at 15:49

    I think the woman you saw was one of those faeries who pop up to lure you to destruction. Kinda like the sirens of old who lured sailors to crash their ships against the rocks. Good thing you escaped.

    • 47 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:44

      Goodness me! I should have dispatched the vile creature then! Oh rats. You should have told me sooner!

      • 48 L. Marie February 13, 2015 at 13:28

        You’re the warrior, remember? Dispatching vile creatures should be an automatic response.

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2015 at 19:29

        *hangs head* You’re right. *grumbles*

  14. 50 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 12, 2015 at 14:58

    One shouldn’t argue or second guess oneself when they’re always correct, you know. Plus, always trust Nick.

    • 51 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:35

      Well, I was in a distant city remember. Far away from home. I didn’t know the area too well. But I did turn out to be right! Aren’t you proud?

      • 52 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 13, 2015 at 04:53

        I understand, but you probably double checked that address. You would have never gotten that wrong. When in doubt as someone else, I say. Cause the crazy lady is always wrong. I’m very proud, Duke. *sparkles*

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2015 at 19:26

        I came this close to rioting right outside LAX! Then the LAPD would have come.

      • 54 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 13, 2015 at 23:19

        You did?! A pop star really should wait to be famous before they cause a riot outside LAX…or wait…maybe you should have caused the riot! Your publicity agent wasn’t really looking at the big picture. You need me. I’ll make you famous, Duke. *smiles brightly* Very little jail time. Promise.
        The LAPD isn’t so tough. I don’t think.

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke February 14, 2015 at 18:15

        *laughs* Jail time? Could we please skip that altogether?

      • 56 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 14, 2015 at 22:14

        *laughs with you* Fine! You used to be fun, you know! *smirk*

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:43

        That’s before I turned 88.

      • 58 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 16, 2015 at 21:41

        Happy Birthday, Old Timer

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 22:22

        *bows* I’m still young, though.

      • 60 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 17, 2015 at 03:15

        Yep. This I know.

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:02

        Hmm…rats. I’m older than I’m young.

      • 62 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 17, 2015 at 21:56

        Doubtful. Very doubtful.

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2015 at 23:55

        So says you!!!

      • 64 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 19, 2015 at 04:05

        Who else would say it?

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 01:51

        Umm…Charlie.

      • 66 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 21, 2015 at 19:19

        You miss him, too, huh?

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2015 at 20:28

        ‘Course not!

      • 68 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 22, 2015 at 04:24

        *snarls* I think you’re just trying to get me to cry.

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2015 at 12:16

        Of course not!

      • 70 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 23, 2015 at 15:43

        I don’t believe you. You contemplate burying people alive.

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2015 at 21:21

        *laughs* Rest assured, that’s only if I was a pirate.

      • 72 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 23, 2015 at 21:41

        *laughs* So you’re not a pirate?

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2015 at 13:46

        Well, no. *huffs* Why’d you make me admit that?!

      • 74 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 24, 2015 at 21:01

        *marks it off the list* Just checking…*smirk* And I like pirates who don’t bury people alive, Duke. Sorry.

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2015 at 00:20

        Then you never met a real pirate, dadblameit!

      • 76 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 25, 2015 at 03:49

        No, Duke. I’m fairly certain I have met a pirate. He is a skinny little Portuguese man with a hoop earring and his name is Constintino…aka…Tinnie. However, I’m a bit fuzzy on whether he buries anyone alive…

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2015 at 13:15

        Now that is cool…well, why don’t you ask him?

      • 78 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 26, 2015 at 21:40

        I haven’t seen him since is why!

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2015 at 13:05

        Oh, dadblameit!

      • 80 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 1, 2015 at 18:54

        For the very best.

  15. 81 Susan P February 12, 2015 at 14:35

    And even GPS is not always right. The best thing to do is to call Amelia – she seems likely to know pretty near anything, by George.

    • 82 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:35

      Forget ’bout it. Amelia died, didn’t you hear?

      • 83 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member February 13, 2015 at 01:03

        Awesome.

      • 84 Susan P February 14, 2015 at 00:31

        I heard that was a hoax.

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke February 14, 2015 at 18:21

        Now, who told you that?

      • 86 Susan P February 14, 2015 at 18:25

        Mr. Magi.

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:38

        He musta been drunk.

      • 88 Susan P February 16, 2015 at 13:49

        ‘Ware – he know all you say and do!

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:57

        Does not, dadblameit!

      • 90 Susan P February 16, 2015 at 14:06

        Then how does he so conveniently set traps for you wherever you go?

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 21:59

        I always thought he was that smart.

      • 92 Susan P February 17, 2015 at 00:19

        bozwall

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 20:56

        That’s an interest.

      • 94 Susan P February 17, 2015 at 21:43

        Is it? How is that?

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2015 at 23:50

        I’m not sure what it is.

      • 96 Susan P February 19, 2015 at 15:15

        It’s just a made up expression. You should try it some when you feel spectable.

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 02:09

        I will!

      • 98 Susan P February 20, 2015 at 23:01

        Let me know how it turns out!

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2015 at 20:24

        *nods*

  16. 100 PorterGirl February 12, 2015 at 14:08

    *Laughs* I do love a story with a moral. I shall make it my business to never argue with websites of any description, just in case. Sadly, the lady you met was fool, even if she was friendly and called you ‘honey’.

    Baggage claim takes f o r e v e r…. nowadays I try to squeeze everything I need into hand luggage. It cuts down my options shoe-wise but as I am not very big I can fit a lot of clothes into one place. The Professor should try this for future journeys. Promise!

    • 101 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:34

      Yes, and you must know the professor was so tired by then, too. To get all that way, and have that happen. I figured to myself that she was rather wrong. What a bugger she was–is!

      You’re right, I should. I bet I could get away with it. I never take too many shoes anyway. But the hats…how many hats do you take?

      • 102 PorterGirl February 13, 2015 at 05:59

        She is a bugger! To treat the professor like that when he was tired. I shall inform The Dean of this buggery.

        It depends on my destination but always at least one. A soft one that won’t get damaged. The other option is to wear all your clothes at once then put shoes and hats in the bag!

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2015 at 19:27

        Yes, please do! I’m sure he’d take issue with it!

        *laughs* I would actually try that, you know!

      • 104 PorterGirl February 13, 2015 at 19:42

        I shall!

        I have often thought about trying it.

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke February 14, 2015 at 18:09

        We should both try it!

      • 106 PorterGirl February 15, 2015 at 08:55

        Good plan! Even better if we both do it on the same flight. It will unnerve them teehee

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:54

        I agree! I’d love to mess with them a bit.

      • 108 PorterGirl February 16, 2015 at 14:35

        They deserve it!

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 22:07

        They do! The whole airport deserves it…making us take off our shoes. Imagine!

      • 110 PorterGirl February 17, 2015 at 06:04

        I know! The rudeness. If I wanted to take my clothes off in public I would get drunk first.

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:06

        *laughing lots* Quite right! At least, then, you wouldn’t know what you were about.

      • 112 PorterGirl February 18, 2015 at 06:10

        Exactly! It’s the English way

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke February 19, 2015 at 00:01

        It might be the professorish way in a few 100 years.

      • 114 PorterGirl February 19, 2015 at 05:59

        *laughs* but the professorish way is perfect as it is!

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 01:57

        Aw, thanks, Lucy!

  17. 116 FictionFan February 12, 2015 at 14:06

    Yes, honey, I think we all know what the sign was – that great big flashing sign that goes on in your head every time you so much as see a woman – the sign that says “Flirt now”!!! Unbelievable! And the poor woman was clearly gardoobled, probably by the reflection from the Professor’s Pulchritudinous Pants. That can be the only reason she was tricked into calling you “honey” on such short acquaintance, sweetie. Unless you winked at her… *growls threateningly*

    At least now we know why you didn’t take poor Amelia…

    • 117 Susan P February 12, 2015 at 14:34

      Sounds like you’ve got a bead on him, FF.

    • 118 L. Marie February 12, 2015 at 15:48

      You made me laugh out loud!

    • 119 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:33

      *laughs too much and tries not to* It’s not my fault she was a woman! And no calling the professor ‘honey’ or ‘sweetie.’ I’m thinking that undermines my hero-ishness, see.

      I think I like Pulchritudinous lots. I think I’m disturbed, though, that you didn’t make it up. And I didn’t wink! Remember, I told you I’d warn you first.

      But…I wasn’t flirting! Then again, my sunglasses are cool. Perhaps she saw her reflection and was flirting with it!

      • 120 FictionFan February 13, 2015 at 16:14

        Huh! In the whole of LA you couldn’t find a man to ask? Have you run out of women to flirt with in your own state and now you have to travel??? I rather like ‘honey’ though… can’t I please call you it, sweetie, if I promise to imagine you on the battlefield while I do?

        Well, that’s true – and I’m rather proud of you for resisting the temptation! But you did give her your address… *growls*

        Tchah! The poor woman didn’t stand a chance! You shouldn’t be allowed to wear your sunglasses at the same time as your pants!!

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2015 at 19:31

        Well, she was the only person working for the shuttles. I wish it were a man, truly! More sense, see. *laughs* I might just have to hold my ears if you do that…

        There was no temptation, believe you me. Well, to the hotel! But I had too! This isn’t fair. *grumbles*

        I love my sunglasses. People can’t see how evil my eyes look, and they can’t tell when I’m staring at them!

      • 122 FictionFan February 13, 2015 at 23:27

        *gasps* How dare you!!! The woman couldn’t be expected to retain her equilibrium when faced with the Professorial Pants! I shall call you honey for a week as punishment, honey! Or maybe honeypie…

        *laughs lots* So cruel! Hah! A likely story! It took a year and a half before you’d tell me what state you lived in!!!

        Aha! So you admit you stare at women! *shakes head despairingly*

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke February 14, 2015 at 18:17

        Well, it’s better than what you used to call me! Bet you forget about that now. *laughs triumphantly*

        You never asked! *fold arms and looks away*

        I stare at everyone. I size them up. You need to know if you can take potential enemies. And, yes, even women can be enemies. *thinks about catwoman*

      • 124 FictionFan February 14, 2015 at 22:43

        Yes, I’ve completey forgotten, my sweetie pumpkin pie! What could it have been? *laughs wickedly*

        *shakes head*

        *thinks about Amelia and nods vehemently* A valid point! You must take all precautions! Including blancmanges when necessary!

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 13:44

        *bangs head* You did remember!! I can’t believe it… *laughs and tries not to*

        I’ll have to try one of those someday.

      • 126 FictionFan February 16, 2015 at 19:27

        I still think of you that way, but I kindly thought I’d restrain myself from calling you it, in deference to your heroic-ness. But now that I know you like it…

        Do! A pink one!

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2015 at 22:15

        I didn’t say that, but I did remember, and that says something… Throughout history, I’ve always ruined myself…

        Pink? Is that cherry flavored?

      • 128 FictionFan February 17, 2015 at 16:44

        It does say something! *chuckles wickedly* Awww, being a sweetie pumpkin pie is something to be proud of! Not many people get that honour, you know, you know! In fact, so far, just two…

        Traditionally strawberry I believe, but we can make it cherry if you’d prefer…

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:19

        Only two…who’s the other? Schwarz, I’m guessing.

        No, that’s fine! I like strawberries. I’ll have a patch this year, I hope.

      • 130 FictionFan February 18, 2015 at 16:02

        *chuckles* How did you guess? But you’re sweeter. He’s more of a pumpkin…

        Ooh, are you becoming a pirate?!?

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke February 19, 2015 at 00:13

        *relieved* Glad to hear you think he’s a squash. I do too.

        It’s a strawberry patch, mind you!

      • 132 FictionFan February 19, 2015 at 17:51

        He can be a sweetie squash pie instead then.

        Ooh! How very cool! All the other pirates with boirng black ones will be so jealous!

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 02:21

        Or string bean squash…

        They will be! But it will probably not bear a piece of fruit.

  18. 134 masgautsen February 12, 2015 at 14:05

    Never trust random strangers that tries to contradict the hotel website directions.

    • 135 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2015 at 21:30

      I know! This is the lesson. But I didn’t know it then. She was just being mean. Very mean.

      • 136 masgautsen February 13, 2015 at 02:52

        Or maybe she just had no clue

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2015 at 19:21

        That is quite likely as well. And could very well be the case.


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