What to do When Attacked

So, the professor was sitting at a table in a restaurant, minding my own business (which I always never do) when I was joined suddenly by Amelia.

Now you may know about Amelia.

And you mayn’t.

It’s better if you don’t, I think.

“Mind if I join you?” she asked.

But she was already sitting, so…worthless question.

The professor shrugged.

And that’s when I was also joined by Mr. Ratherquite and his Ladies.

Imagine this!

“Sir,” Mr. Ratherquite said, “good to see you, sir. Good to see you.”

Both Ladies giggled.

The professor had been setup. It was a gag, a gas…a trap. Interesting. It was of interest, see.

“So,” Mr. Ratherquite said, folding his chubby little hands, “we need to talk.”

“But you look nervous,” I said, “and this professor doesn’t have speaks with people who are nervous. Means they’re hiding something.”

“Fool!” the red-haired lady said. She was skinny—her neck definitely was—and she had a large green-stoned ring. She continued: “Mr. Ratherquite is never nervous! Now, we’re here for your own good.”

The other lady—she had blond curls—giggled. “So you should actually be thanking us!”

“Ladies,” Mr. Ratherquite said, a smile tugging at his lips. “Now, now. Don’t overwhelm him. See, sir, I feel it’s my duty that—”

I kinda tuned him out there. Amelia was staring at the table.

This wasn’t good.

“Now, look here, Mr. R,” I said, interrupting. I pointed to the red-haired lady’s ring. “Did you buy that for her?”

Mr. Ratherquite was taken aback.

“Why…umm…uhh…why yes, sir! Yes, I did.”

“How much was it?” I said it fast. It was quite important to keep him off his feet.

“Sir!” he stammered, turning red.

The red-haired lady was blushing, and the one with blond curls was looking at her ring angrily.

“See,” I said to the lady with blond curls, “he didn’t get you one, did he?”

She turned on me suddenly. “No!” she squeaked. “He didn’t!”

I shrugged.

Mr. Ratherquite started to say something, but this professor wasn’t finished.

“Now,” I said, “that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. It just means he likes you a little less than he likes the other one.”

That did it.

The welkin rang, and the floodgates were opened.

Everyone spoke at once. The red-haired lady was debating hotly with the crying and screeching blond-haired lady. And Mr. Ratherquite was trying to break it up.

Amelia was smiling slightly and staring at me.

And that’s when the professor took his leave.

Moral: When attacked, it’s best to knock your opponent off his feet. Confuse him. Gardooble him. Then you win. It’s fairly simple, I know, but it also works in polite conversation.

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199 Responses to “What to do When Attacked”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 March 26, 2015 at 12:59

    If he had something to say, and it was about Amelia, then it is a very good thing you gardoobled him. :-P

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 20:24

      That’s exactly what I was thinking, too.

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 March 27, 2015 at 13:52

        I don’t think Mr. Ratherquite ever really says anything worth the effort.

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2015 at 13:55

        *nods* It’s his curse.

      • 5 erinkenobi2893 March 29, 2015 at 23:57

        A terrible curse indeed!

  2. 6 Hazy March 7, 2015 at 07:27

    What is it with women and rings? The hazy mind is a bit perplexed about it. I’d rather have chocolates, I think. They’re yummy.

    That was a pretty good gardoobly strategy professor! Worth a try. I usually just hide or make a lame excuse to leave.

    • 7 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2015 at 00:18

      They’re yummbers! Maybe a hat, too? I’d rather have a knife, I think.

      *laughing*

      • 8 Hazy March 9, 2015 at 02:20

        I bet you’d like chocolates with cherry cream inside. A hat would be nice. Or a beanie for cold weather! More practical than a ring. *laughs*

      • 9 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2015 at 00:48

        I would love those! And this professor loves beanies. I look funny in one, I think.

      • 10 Hazy March 11, 2015 at 12:45

        Oh, I bet their comfy and look good on you. Have you tried a deerstalker hat like the one that Holmes supposedly wears? or a beanie with those ear flap thingies?

      • 11 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2015 at 21:58

        No! I never have, and I should. Have you tried a beanie like that?

      • 12 Hazy March 15, 2015 at 11:15

        Nope, I haven’t. No point wearing beanies here, it’s too hot most of the time *laughs* Should I need to, I tend to wear baseball caps. Better for sunshade. Do you wear baseball caps a lot?

      • 13 Professor VJ Duke March 15, 2015 at 23:47

        I do, yes! I love caps. For sun protection, too. But I bet you wear one more often then I do.

      • 14 Hazy March 16, 2015 at 13:10

        Do you have a favorite cap? I don’t wear it as often as I probably should (I’m wary of having “hat hair” so if I’m wearing one, I usually wear it all day. *laughs*)

      • 15 Professor VJ Duke March 16, 2015 at 18:26

        I don’t worry about my hair; I let it get all messed up. *laughs* I do! A Patriots cap. How about you?

      • 16 Hazy March 17, 2015 at 12:41

        As in the football Patriots? What color is the cap?

        I have a grey cap from Gap that I like lots, and a black-and-white panda cap.

      • 17 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2015 at 22:06

        Yes! They just won big this year. Well, it’s blue. So it goes with lots.

        That sounds great! No wonder you like to wear them.

      • 18 Hazy March 18, 2015 at 12:15

        That’s great! Did they win the superbowl? Blue is always nice. It’s a favorite color of mine, you know. I’ve always wanted a Yankee cap.

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2015 at 18:27

        They did! *big dance* You mean the baseball team?

  3. 20 Catherine February 20, 2015 at 02:21

    Wow! That was a very genius idea!

    • 21 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 02:35

      *laughs* It’s all the pull-ups. They ruin my brain, see.

      • 22 Catherine February 20, 2015 at 02:37

        But it was good! i suppose the pull-ups ruined your brain for the better.

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 02:41

        That’s true. Rats. I wanted you to give me an excuse to stop doing them. *pouts*

  4. 24 Nancy Loderick February 19, 2015 at 20:30

    Professor,

    Perhaps the best thing to do when attacked is to turn around and run away as fast as you can!

    Nancy

    • 25 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 02:35

      No, you have to fight! Like Hector. He’d fight and be fierce.

  5. 26 Simply Skeptical February 18, 2015 at 01:04

    You are a smooth one sir. But poor Mr. Ratherquite was it really necessary? I wonder what he was going to say. It seems that Amelia knew with her smiling eyes batting your way.

    • 27 Professor VJ Duke February 19, 2015 at 00:00

      Amelia was probably involved, you’re right. Do you suppose Amelia is stupid?

      • 28 Simply Skeptical February 19, 2015 at 23:51

        Oh Professor I think you know Amelia is very clever and conniving. Be on alert with that one. Who know’s what she’ll try next.

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 02:36

        I think she’ll try to eat me next.

  6. 30 Tiefsa February 17, 2015 at 22:34

    Smooth moves, although I am curious what they were hiding from the Professor.

    • 31 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2015 at 23:58

      Me too. Do you suppose they were all in cahoots?

      • 32 Tiefsa February 19, 2015 at 00:58

        Perhaps. Plus I just like the word “cahoots”

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 01:48

        Well, you can’t just agree because of that, Tiefsa! *laughing*

  7. 34 Susan P February 17, 2015 at 20:08

    That was quite clever of you, Professor. You might patent it if you had not given it away on your blog. By now 418 people have already tried it.

    • 35 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:30

      Are you sure about it? Maybe they haven’t tried it yet. But what would you put on the patent?

      • 36 Susan P February 17, 2015 at 21:49

        You have to go to the patent office of the government.

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2015 at 23:53

        I’ll blow that up.

      • 38 Susan P February 19, 2015 at 15:22

        they will lock you up forever.

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 02:11

        That wouldn’t be nice. You’d have to get me out.

      • 40 Susan P February 20, 2015 at 23:06

        I could do it.

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2015 at 20:26

        I bet you could! With George’s help.

      • 42 Susan P February 22, 2015 at 00:02

        George is pretty sneaky. It might work!

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2015 at 12:15

        I knew he was! The little bloke.

      • 44 Susan P February 23, 2015 at 13:17

        All right then. You start.

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2015 at 21:15

        At the beginning?

      • 46 Susan P February 23, 2015 at 21:37

        Of course. Then walk through the middle and end with the finish. Any questions?

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2015 at 13:43

        *laughs* I love the way you put that!

      • 48 Susan P February 24, 2015 at 20:46

        Chickit.

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2015 at 00:16

        Schwarz!

      • 50 Susan P February 26, 2015 at 01:13

        What about him? He kind of grows on one.

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2015 at 12:57

        So you like him better now?

      • 52 Susan P February 28, 2015 at 01:11

        Well, I’m fickle, so you know I might like him sometimes and next day be off.

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke February 28, 2015 at 23:58

        (All women are.)

      • 54 Susan P March 1, 2015 at 00:28

        It’s part of the dance. But say, I’ve know men who are fickle. Heartbreakers like the Professor.

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2015 at 12:31

        Well, you just have to understand, we’re heartless. We mean no harm, see.

      • 56 Susan P March 2, 2015 at 18:37

        That’s what doctors say…first, do no harm.

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2015 at 19:20

        Unless you want to harm a crab.

      • 58 Susan P March 2, 2015 at 20:14

        Only if it is a crabby crab. Or Sponge Bob is around. Why do you make it so difficult, dadblameit!

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2015 at 13:06

        Crabs are mean and you know it!

      • 60 Susan P March 3, 2015 at 20:06

        I’ve never had trouble with crabs. They are tasty.

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 13:42

        Especially in a cake!

      • 62 Susan P March 4, 2015 at 13:44

        They are. Even better if they live in Maryland before they were cakes.

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 14:08

        I’ll have to try some. The professor was never into seafood a lot. I was talking with a fellow last night about Portugal. He said he visited twice. And I thought of you immediately.

      • 64 Susan P March 4, 2015 at 14:25

        Crabs are seafood, but they aren’t fish. I like em.

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 23:37

        You have to make me squid, I think.

      • 66 Susan P March 5, 2015 at 00:23

        Stuffed with crabs?

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 12:37

        Do they do that?

      • 68 Susan P March 5, 2015 at 13:28

        Well, if they don’t it’s time to start.

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 18:38

        I’m sure you could whip it up, too.

      • 70 Susan P March 5, 2015 at 23:22

        I prefer less obvious ways.

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2015 at 21:32

        *laughing* You’re laughing me to scorn, I see.

      • 72 Susan P March 8, 2015 at 00:02

        Not yet. Did you want me to?

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2015 at 00:27

        *holds ears*

      • 74 Susan P March 9, 2015 at 11:54

        Wow! I’ve never seen anyone pull their ears right off his head and hold them. That is amazing.

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2015 at 01:05

        *laughing lots* That’s a good one.

      • 76 Susan P March 10, 2015 at 14:50

        Did it hurt?

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2015 at 23:28

        It stung just for a moment.

      • 78 Susan P March 11, 2015 at 00:04

        You are so brave!

  8. 79 Louis from VA February 17, 2015 at 19:59

    Oh my… quite deftly done, Professor. But I would have liked to see what Ratherquite was up to.

    “Welkin”… :D

    • 80 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:28

      I know! Do you suppose he was doing something mean?

      Great word, huh?

      • 81 Louis from VA February 22, 2015 at 18:24

        It’s possible…
        I suppose you know him better than I do though!

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2015 at 12:23

        Very true. And I bet he was!

  9. 83 Lady Cheetah7 February 17, 2015 at 18:40

    You are such a little devil….

    • 84 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:27

      That’s why I need my halo, Lady.

      • 85 Lady Cheetah7 February 17, 2015 at 21:37

        It must be made of tin k instead of 10 k…lol
        O:-)

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2015 at 23:49

        That’s not fair in the least!

  10. 87 Nimmi February 17, 2015 at 16:43

    Hahaha :D what a great advice ;) Well, with ladies :P this trick can definitely work ;) Great job, Professor :)

    • 88 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:18

      Ah, thank you, Nimmi! What do you make of Mr. Ratherquite ruining my breakfast, though?

      • 89 Nimmi February 18, 2015 at 11:17

        Well, Mr. R is already in a great trouble between his ladies ;) So, I guess you must forgive him. Thankfully, that day is gone for now. Look forward :P

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke February 19, 2015 at 00:03

        That’s true. That was horrible of me, wasn’t it?

      • 91 Nimmi February 19, 2015 at 10:24

        Hmm, not so. The day is gone, honey ;) Look forward :)

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 02:00

        I’ll try to be sweeter.

      • 93 Nimmi February 20, 2015 at 16:30

        You are sweet ;)

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2015 at 20:11

        No! I’m a wicked beast, aren’t i?

      • 95 Nimmi February 21, 2015 at 20:17

        Really??? Show me the proof ;)

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2015 at 20:31

        Well…I’m a warrior. Aren’t they supposed to be mean?

      • 97 Nimmi February 21, 2015 at 20:34

        Well… At the end of the day you are a human and you too have feelings.

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2015 at 12:13

        But…aren’t I heartless?

      • 99 Nimmi February 23, 2015 at 12:20

        Who told you that??? I really don’t think so :)

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2015 at 12:26

        Well…see…well…I think I might have. Or my analysts.

      • 101 Nimmi February 23, 2015 at 12:54

        Bad analysts ;) You are sweet. See yourself through my eyes :)

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2015 at 21:13

        Well, then, you must become an analyst, if you’d like.

      • 103 Nimmi February 24, 2015 at 15:55

        Love to be your analyst ;) So when can I join ;)

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2015 at 00:08

        Right now! You’re officially one right now, if you’d like. An analyst…

      • 105 Nimmi February 25, 2015 at 11:17

        Whoooo hooo… I’m so happy :) So, what I have to do?? ;)

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2015 at 13:18

        Well…basically…well…tell me what to do?

      • 107 Nimmi February 25, 2015 at 15:53

        Haha :D Okay, then I’ll do what I’m doing…. Poking you ;) :P

      • 108 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2015 at 21:04

        Poking? *laughs* *runs*

      • 109 Nimmi February 26, 2015 at 14:39

        Hahaha :D Wait… ;)

      • 110 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2015 at 12:59

        I don’t wait usually, you know.

      • 111 Nimmi February 27, 2015 at 15:56

        Then I’ll run with you ;) Rather, running…

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2015 at 19:43

        Where are we going?

      • 113 Nimmi February 28, 2015 at 16:38

        I don’t know… I’m with you right?? You better know ;)

      • 114 Professor VJ Duke March 1, 2015 at 00:00

        Well…how about a coffee shop?

      • 115 Nimmi March 1, 2015 at 08:19

        Let’s go then ;)

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2015 at 12:33

        Okay, I think I”ll get a muffin.

      • 117 Nimmi March 2, 2015 at 12:34

        And a hot coffee too ;)

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2015 at 12:50

        You know, Nimmi, I’ve never had coffee!

      • 119 Nimmi March 2, 2015 at 12:52

        Why??? So what you like , my dear???

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2015 at 19:00

        Well…tea, I guess? I’m not sure why I’ve never had it. I mean, I’ve had a sip…but…it’s sour!

      • 121 Nimmi March 2, 2015 at 19:02

        Then I can give you a same pinch ;) I too don’t like coffee much :) I love green/black tea :)

      • 122 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2015 at 19:22

        I love green tea, too! Let’s have that, then.

      • 123 Nimmi March 2, 2015 at 19:26

        Love to have!! Let’s go then ;)

      • 124 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2015 at 12:57

        Okay! What do you make of Cherry green tea?

      • 125 Nimmi March 3, 2015 at 13:04

        Cherry green tea!! Wow! isn’t it refreshing with a sweet aroma of cherries :) Love to ;)

      • 126 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2015 at 13:25

        It is! I think you’d love it. *pours Nimmi a cup*

      • 127 Nimmi March 3, 2015 at 15:54

        Aw!! Love to have a cup of tea with my lovely friend VJ :) Thank you, dear :)

      • 128 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2015 at 18:50

        Thank you, Nimmi!

      • 129 Nimmi March 3, 2015 at 18:53

        Any time my dear :)

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2015 at 18:58

        *bows*

      • 131 Nimmi March 3, 2015 at 19:20

        Aw!! Love to you!! <3

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 13:40

        *laughing* You let me bow!

      • 133 Nimmi March 4, 2015 at 13:45

        Okay do it ;)

      • 134 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 14:09

        *does it again* And my hat stayed on!

      • 135 Nimmi March 4, 2015 at 14:25

        Wow!! Well because it’s on my head. Remember??

      • 136 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 23:41

        That’s right! You do have it.

      • 137 Nimmi March 5, 2015 at 11:19

        *smiling*

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 12:51

        Now you need a bowtie.

      • 139 Nimmi March 5, 2015 at 12:53

        Hahaha :D Do you have one??? ;)

      • 140 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 18:31

        I do! Fancy, huh?

      • 141 Nimmi March 5, 2015 at 19:58

        Then give me that as well :)

      • 142 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2015 at 21:14

        But then, what will I wear? A tie?

      • 143 Nimmi March 7, 2015 at 11:44

        Hmmm, I think tie will look good on you…try it :)

      • 144 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2015 at 00:22

        *puts it on loose and backwards* Perfect! I’m a dude the sudden.

      • 145 Nimmi March 9, 2015 at 12:41

        :) Indeed!! A Handsome one :)

      • 146 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2015 at 01:06

        *blushes*

      • 147 Nimmi March 10, 2015 at 17:52

        *smiling*

  11. 148 Debbie February 17, 2015 at 15:27

    I confess I had to look up “welkin.” I like learning something new first thing in the morning, so well done!

    I’m miffed over Mr. R’s unfair treatment of his ladies, though. Perhaps he was planning on giving you the blonde??

    Amelia was smiling and staring at you, eh? Well, nothing good can come of that! Why, she’s probably in cahoots with Mr. R. and his ladies. I say, you handled this whole thing admirably, Professor — always leave ’em gardoobled!

    • 149 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:15

      *smiles proudly* I first read that in a Steinbeck novel, and I never forgot it.

      Oh, I hope not! I don’t want her, you know. Would you like her? She could be a maid for you and Dallas, maybe.

      Thank you! I bet they are in cahoots. The little beetles! And they ruined my breakfast.

  12. 150 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 17, 2015 at 14:50

    Geez, I’m sort of surprised, actually. Amelia was silent, huh? Maybe she’s turning over a new leaf, so they say. Mr. R is trying to mentor you. You could listen, probably. Learn a little something about romance. You’ll need it at some point. I’m interested in knowing more about why Mr. R gave one of his ladies a beautiful ring and not the other. I feel sorry for the blonde one, a little. I like seeing a redheaded woman prevail a bit, you see. Doesn’t happen enough, if you ask me. However, if he has two women in his life, well, he should treat them fairly. Or lose one. Don’t you think? And you were rude to Mr. R. even if he ruined your breakfast. You definitely got your way in the end, so well done.

    • 151 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:14

      Amelia was. I think Mr. R wanted me to apologize and make up with her. Huh?

      He ruined my breakfast, sat down uninvited, and you say I was rude? *professorish stink eye*

      Well, maybe he gave the blond haired lady something else? Like a motorcycle? It’s possible. I agree with you: red heads need to win a bit more!

      • 152 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 17, 2015 at 22:04

        Do you suppose? Seems he would try something like that, however, will you? It would be quite warriorish of you to do so… *smiles fondly* A manly thing to do.

        So if he’s rude you can be as well…
        *Audith stink eye* *talks quickly*

        Wow. That’s something. A motorcycle! Wowzers. A green gem is nothing next to a motorbike. Yes, we do. Thanks for thinking so.. *sparkles* All of my heroines have red hair.

      • 153 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2015 at 23:57

        Oh, it would not! Only a girl would think that’s a warrior-ish thing to do. See, men would think differently. *smashes a grapefruit in Amelia’s face*

        Yes, please!

        Do you have a motorbike?

      • 154 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 19, 2015 at 04:10

        Probably not a girl, but a lady definitely. *shocked face* Duke….

        Okay then!

        Absolutely not. Do you?

      • 155 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 01:53

        She deserved it, don’t you think?

        Nah…I should get one, huh?

      • 156 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 21, 2015 at 19:23

        Yes, she did.

        If you wanted to, yes.

      • 157 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2015 at 20:29

        I’d rather have another sword…or a guitar with a cutout!

      • 158 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 22, 2015 at 04:26

        Boys and their toys… you’ll need a bigger room.

      • 159 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2015 at 12:17

        Most likely, I admit.

      • 160 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 23, 2015 at 15:44

        So tear down a wall or something.

      • 161 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2015 at 21:22

        Wouldn’t that be destructive?

      • 162 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 23, 2015 at 21:40

        Does it matter?

      • 163 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2015 at 13:45

        Well, doesn’t it? You taught me that it did.

      • 164 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 24, 2015 at 21:05

        I taught you that? Doubtful! And since when do listen to me? I like it when you’re destructive, because then I can holler at you. It’s what we do…

      • 165 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2015 at 00:21

        But when you holler, my ears bleed, you know.

      • 166 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 25, 2015 at 03:50

        How rude!

      • 167 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2015 at 13:15

        Of you or me?

      • 168 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 26, 2015 at 21:41

        You!

      • 169 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 26, 2015 at 21:42

        Probably both

  13. 170 FictionFan February 17, 2015 at 14:23

    Amelia IS a toad!! I must say I’m rather proud of you, for once. You managed to get through an entire conversation with the Toad without winking once!! (Unless you just omitted that part from your report…hmm!) But you were very wicked to those poor ladies *giggles in a distinctly unladylike fashion*. But what do you think Mr R was up to? I suspect he was going to give you hints on how to create your own little gaggle of fawning females! Phew! A lucky escape there!

    I am somewhat concerned about that creature’s toadish smile at the end (did it make her look like Woola?) but you managed to resist! Well done, my llittle sweetie pumpkin pie! But couldn’t you have upturned a blancmange over her head before you left… just for me?

    • 171 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:12

      Oh no, I was very professorish and spicy…liked I promised you I would be! Either that, or he wanted me to apologize to Amelia–imagine! Too bad you weren’t there, FEF. What would you have done? Keep in mind…we were in a public place.

      (No, only you look like Woola when you want, you know, you know.) Well…I could have…but…you didn’t ask me! I will keep it in mind for our next meeting, if you’d like.

      • 172 FictionFan February 18, 2015 at 15:52

        You were! As spicy as a warm cinnamon bun! Apologise to that creature?? For what? For mistaking her for a human?? I’d have winked at Mr R several times until he fell under the spell of my ethereal beauty. Then I’d have whispered in his ear, and he’d have popped off to the counter and returned with three blancmanges…

        (Awwww, you’re so sweet! *smiles like Woola when he’s feeling very proud of himself*) Yes, do! Just assume that any time Amelia gets splatted with any form of foodstuff, it will make FF very happy!

      • 173 Professor VJ Duke February 19, 2015 at 00:09

        I could go for a cinnamon bun tomorrow morning, I think. We don’t even know what ethereal means…but you’d have to watch out for his ladies!

        (*laughs* I think your Woola is a girl, though.) Okay…but it will get messy! *prepares his famed ketchup attack*

      • 174 FictionFan February 19, 2015 at 17:25

        Did you? We? Who are we? Tchah! Do you think I couldn’t handle those two flimsy flibbertigibbets?

        (*nods* Apparently female Woolas have pink spots on their legs.) Yay!!! Quick! And take photos of the after effects!! *starry-eyed look of eager anitcipation*

      • 175 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 02:16

        Nah, I didn’t. I completely forgot about it. We…well, you referred to yourself that way once, so I thought I should have a go. I’m sure you could handle them! You being a warrior and all.

        (Do they? I didn’t know that. Very odd. But then again, he was weird.) Look at you! A lust for her pain!

      • 176 FictionFan February 20, 2015 at 18:06

        Did we? We don’t remember, but we might have done, because we may have been practising for when we become the Queen! So you must be practising to be a King…

        (Perhaps you didn’t know it because I just made it up. *giggles*) I know! Great, isn’t it? *gnome face*

      • 177 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2015 at 20:17

        *laughing* It’s funny when you do that. Almost as funny as the old Scots. Umm…a king? Can I be a rogue instead, please?

        (Well! You are creative! See?) I feel for her…

  14. 178 PorterGirl February 17, 2015 at 14:21

    This is very good advice, Professor, I like it! It certainly put a stop to whatever devilish thing that blasted Amelia might have been up to. I think Mr R learned a good lesson too – never take on more women than you can afford! Ladies like to have equal gifts, particularly where gems are concerned. Personally, I would have preferred a bacon sandwich but there is no accounting for taste.

    Hey, Professor – did you know that it is pancake day today? Do you have a pancake day on your side of the pond?

    • 179 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:09

      Haha! A bacon sandwich…you could have had about 100 for what that thing was worth, I’ll bet! Your taste is way better, I must add. Yes, I stopped them dead in their tracks. *smiles proudly*

      It is? I did not know! I hope it’s the same over here. I actually play tennis in a little city called Pancake City, believe it or not. Did you have pancakes today?

      • 180 PorterGirl February 18, 2015 at 06:13

        100 bacon sandwiches. .. now there is a thought! A feast fit for a hero, such as yourself!

        Pancake City! Really? I want to live there instantly. I ate pancakes after my dinner, they were super yum. It is an ancient tradition, something to do with Jesus. At school we used to have pancake races in the high street!

      • 181 Professor VJ Duke February 19, 2015 at 00:02

        I’d go down eating bacon sandwiches! That’s a good death. Very heroic.

        A pancake race? That’s awesome! I’ll take some photos for you next time I’m in pancake city.

      • 182 PorterGirl February 19, 2015 at 06:00

        *nods furiously*
        Please do! And of the tennis too

      • 183 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2015 at 01:58

        Of me playing tennis, you mean?

      • 184 PorterGirl February 20, 2015 at 06:05

        Now there’s an idea. Yes, do that. With a hat on!

      • 185 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2015 at 20:06

        A Pats hat! They won, you know. *smiles very proudly*

      • 186 PorterGirl February 22, 2015 at 18:25

        I am delighted! Certainly a Pats hat, then.

      • 187 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2015 at 12:24

        *laughs and a high-five*

  15. 188 L. Marie February 17, 2015 at 14:21

    Amelia showed up? I’m waiting to see how Fiction Fan will react. As for Mr. R and his ladies, he may be down to one lady soon. Or none at all. Perhaps that was your plan?

    • 189 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:08

      Well, I wanted to be left alone, I fear. I suppose I was a bit mean. But he asked for it! Don’t you like Amelia?

  16. 190 walt walker February 17, 2015 at 14:14

    That’s good advice. I will have to try that on my opponents and enemies.

    But…what were you breakfasting upon? Did you leave hungry?

    • 191 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:07

      And even your friends, Walt. That would be more fun…I think.

      Yes, I did. I was just having my fruit bowl when I was interrupted. After that, was pancakes and eggs. Then carmel and apples, then hashbrowns and tuna.

      • 192 walt walker February 18, 2015 at 00:15

        Ooh, I love breakfast tuna. Do you put syrup on yours?

      • 193 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2015 at 23:59

        I usually cut mine in little fine pieces…for the dog.

  17. 194 floridaborne February 17, 2015 at 13:03

    The professor must have taken the same abnormal psychology class that I endured. :-)

    • 195 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:07

      *laughing* I think I did! What did your teacher look like?

      • 196 floridaborne February 17, 2015 at 21:26

        60’s, white hair…

      • 197 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2015 at 21:31

        Yup. And slobbery?

      • 198 floridaborne February 17, 2015 at 21:46

        Nope.

      • 199 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2015 at 23:52

        Rats.


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