About Fitzwilliam Darcy

Everyone is always having speaks about this chap. So, I figured this professor should say something on the matter.

There is an injustice here.

And anytime there is an injustice it should be fixed—if it’s possible to do so, that is.

Well, this is the injustice: Mr. Darcy’s pictures.

Anytime a fellow can look as diverse as this…

duelingdarcys1w

…we must assume that the book description of the character in question is poor, OR that the book description of the character is…well, too hideous to represent.

(As a side note, if you stare at this grouping of Darby’s for some time, it’ll become obvious that all the actors used the same wig that the fellow who is in the painting posed with. Unless, he didn’t pose, in which case someone drew his hair on.)

Here’s that description of Darcy from the book:

“Mr. Darcy soon drew the attention of the room by his fine, tall person, handsome features, nobel mein; and the report which was in general circulation within five minutes after his entrance, of his having ten thousand a year.”

Now, that all sounds well and good—at first. Yes, I fear there is a word in there that actually ruins Darcy.

And that word is: mein.

Now, what do you suppose that means? Well, this professor has searched the web, and everyone was pretty much in agreement. (The word can’t be found in my online dictionary, I fear.)

And this is the finding: mein is a Chinese wheat flour noodle.

That’s huge.

It is.

See, Austen was trying to tell us that even though Darcy had a mein, he was also attractive.

This, you must understand, is a rarity. You see, very rarely can you find an attractive fellow who has noodles for hair (and sometimes a beard). That’s what a mein is.

Now Austen’s paragraph begins to make sense!

No wonder Mr. Darcy drew the attention of the room: he was an attractive fellow with a mein!

This tells us something interesting about Austen as well: she knew about Chinese noodles. And not only did she know about them, she respected them on a fellow. This is life changing—for me, anyway.

Now that we know all this…what do you suppose the last bit of the paragraph means? The bit about his having ten thousand a year?

My first question is: ten thousand what?

It could be anything. Ten thousand noodles for all we know. But the fact that Austen didn’t specify is telling, isn’t it?

So, searching long and hard for a fellow with a mein who is also attractive, I chanced upon this photo that is probably almost exactly what Jane Austen was imagining when she wrote Pride and Prejudice.

karl_marx

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143 Responses to “About Fitzwilliam Darcy”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 March 24, 2015 at 15:34

    Professor! That is not Fitzwilliam Darcy! That’s Karl Marx! And he was a horrible person who came up with bizarre ideas which are only good if you’re making jokes about them!
    Also, mein can mean attitude or bearing… ;-P

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 20:18

      *laughing lots and lots* You’re not supposed to recognize him! Rats. My cover is blown. Well, that’s what Darby looked like…kinda. Bet Rosalie would agree!

      Can not!

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 March 26, 2015 at 01:24

        I’m blaming him for part of the first World War. That’s how come I recognized him. Also, my professor referred to his facial hair as (pardon the profanities in the quote, as they are his words and not mine) a “bitchin’ beard.” -_- I refuse to speak the vernacular, if it contains such nonsensical obscenities. Anyway, I was hardly likely to forget Marx after that…
        :-P
        Actually, I don’t think she’s much into Austen.
        It does. But… he IS making me rather hungry… :-P

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 12:02

        *laughing* What an interest. I mean, that is a good description of his beard, I suppose. Oh dear. I’m sure there’s a PL swear word, that would work much better.

        Good for her! Must be the Sith in her, see.

        Who? Darby?

      • 5 erinkenobi2893 March 26, 2015 at 12:20

        Probably there is. Because the PL has better dialects, you see. ;-)
        Actually I think it’s the superhero in her. I don’t know.
        Yes… I think so, anyway. It’s time for breakfast. Fortunately we found something in the freezer, because otherwise there wouldn’t have been much.

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 20:17

        I do hope you’re not having fish for breakfast.

        PL has so many, too.

      • 7 erinkenobi2893 March 27, 2015 at 13:41

        Fish are good–but no, no fish for breakfast.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2015 at 13:53

        I agree. Yucketh!

      • 9 erinkenobi2893 March 29, 2015 at 23:56

        Hash browns are for breakfast! ^_^

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2015 at 12:14

        Very jealous the sudden!

      • 11 erinkenobi2893 March 30, 2015 at 12:30

        I just said they’re for breakfast. Not that I’m actually going to be able to have them for breakfast.

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2015 at 19:40

        Well, that’s shining words, dadblameit!

      • 13 erinkenobi2893 March 31, 2015 at 11:36

        :-P Very true, but one thing is not equivalent of another… except when it is. Language is tricky like that.

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2015 at 12:04

        That’s why we must invent our own.

      • 15 erinkenobi2893 March 31, 2015 at 21:17

        Yes! We must! :-P

  2. 16 Hazy March 7, 2015 at 08:07

    Excellent write up, professor. I see your point.

    And exactly what I first thought when I read the part about mein: chow mein. Yummy! What does that say about Mr. Darcy, hmm? Oddly enough, I suddenly thought of The Walking Dead…

    • 17 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2015 at 00:21

      *laughing* I love chow mein. See, Jane Austen needed better descriptive words!

      • 18 Hazy March 9, 2015 at 02:33

        Maybe she was hungry when she wrote it!

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2015 at 00:51

        You know, I bet she was!

  3. 20 Susan P March 4, 2015 at 22:34

    Much ado here. I’m sorry I’m late to the party, dear Professor. There really is not much left to say. Well done in the technology department, but it almost sounds like the Professor – I can scarcely believe it – envies Mr. Darcy! He is jealous. In fact, the circular reasoning puts me in mind of Why Fire Engine Are Red.

    • 21 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 00:09

      Me?! This professor?! Do not neither either! I mean…what’s exactly to envy? See, if he had a pet walrus I might envy him a bit.

      • 22 Susan P March 5, 2015 at 00:27

        I’m boggled. Open your eyes, man. Look around you. Lots to be envy, Professor.

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 12:38

        His wig? Is that it?

      • 24 Susan P March 5, 2015 at 13:33

        I do believe that you are snatching at gnats.

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 18:40

        Yes, they just come off Darby like crazy, you know, you know.

      • 26 Susan P March 5, 2015 at 23:25

        Darcy or Darby?

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2015 at 21:34

        They’re the same!

      • 28 Susan P March 7, 2015 at 23:59

        Nu uh. That is like telling the Professor that he is the same a Ameilia. or whatever her name is. Your girlfriend.

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2015 at 00:26

        Do you think I have a girlfriend and am writing fictitiously about her?

      • 30 Susan P March 9, 2015 at 11:51

        You said you don’t…should I not believe what you say?

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2015 at 01:03

        Of course you should believe me!

      • 32 Susan P March 10, 2015 at 14:48

        *squinty eye*

  4. 33 icedmocha34 March 4, 2015 at 19:14

    Matthew McFayden is like my Mr. Darcy hero!!!!!!! I love him oodles and oodles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love Mr Darcy cos I have thins thing for emo, dark, moody, bad boys or something…?

    • 34 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 00:07

      But do you like him with noodles on his face? I mean…look at that chap!

      • 35 icedmocha34 March 5, 2015 at 23:15

        I think he’d look smexy with anything on his face…

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2015 at 21:31

        What’s the difference between sexy and smexy?

      • 37 icedmocha34 March 9, 2015 at 22:31

        …I’m not really sure… but it sounds somewhat cooler. I hope. XD

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2015 at 01:24

        It sure does. *fist pumpy thingy if you came up with it* Thought about you last week in church, ’cause the youth choir was singing.

      • 39 icedmocha34 March 10, 2015 at 21:07

        I’m not in choir… but I’m going to sign up asap! I quit because the choir lady was mean, but she left! Yipee!

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2015 at 23:42

        *high-five* Do it! And let me know how it goes. I’m trying to get my mom to join a choir.

      • 41 icedmocha34 March 11, 2015 at 18:55

        She totally should! It’s really fun. My church’s adult choir is like three hundred people and they sound so pretty! ^_^

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2015 at 22:05

        Wow! That’s huge. I’ll tell her you said so.

  5. 43 Simply Skeptical March 4, 2015 at 11:27

    Ha, ha, HA Professor! How can this be justified? Are you just trying to erk those ladies which have been following you? Clever, but I’m afraid It won’t work. This is hilarious. How shall I ever think of Mr. Darcy other than a cross between Pirate’s Of the Carribean’s Davy Jones Locker character and the last photo? Was this your intent Sir! (Laughing)

    • 44 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 14:06

      It sorta maybe was, yes! I mean, you must admit, the real Darby doesn’t look like the Darby you’re imagining. He was more noodle-ish. I think if we get this message out there, ladies will look for a new hero. Maybe Evan?

  6. 45 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 3, 2015 at 22:25

    I enjoyed reading this professor, and laughed and marveled at how your mind works. I don’t have much to contribute, as Darcy isn’t my type. (Which you already know.) Good luck fighting for your life here, Sir.

    • 46 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 13:51

      *high-five with Audith* So glad you don’t like Darcy! But…but…but…what about that Edward chap? *professorish eye*

      • 47 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 4, 2015 at 14:43

        He’s fine, don’t get me wrong, but he’s loved by too many in my opinion. The Edward chap? You mean the vampire one?
        *concentrates on her breathing* He is a bossy sort and yes, I like that.

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 23:51

        You do not like him! He’s…he’s a blood sucker! He’d take all your blood, and wouldn’t give it back. Either that or he’d take Charlies.

      • 49 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 5, 2015 at 03:20

        Yes, Sir. I don’t like him or his blood sucking ways. For sure! Said no one ever…well, that’s not true, I’m sure plenty of people don’t like him. I don’t really approve of him sucking blood. *thinks about Charlie again* You like seeing me weep, don’t you?!
        However, I do love how smart he is, loyal, kind, protective, honest, passionate and bossy he is…the author had a good thing going when she outlined him. She just messed up everything else.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 12:43

        How did she mess everything else up?

      • 51 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 5, 2015 at 20:37

        I don’t know. I shan’t criticize her…it wouldn’t be nice.

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2015 at 21:20

        Oh, please do. I think she needs it! Say all sorts of nasty and bad things.

      • 53 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 6, 2015 at 21:56

        Tisn’t in my nature, you know.

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2015 at 00:09

        That’s ’cause you’re too sweet.

      • 55 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 9, 2015 at 03:46

        And sweet is boring.

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2015 at 00:55

        But not in your case.

      • 57 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 10, 2015 at 20:51

        Mostly in my case.

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2015 at 23:39

        *laughs* I can’t convince you otherwise. Just know you’re wrong. Promise.

      • 59 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 11, 2015 at 03:21

        *opens mouth* *shuts it* You just shushed me.

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2015 at 21:44

        Did I win? *prepares to dance*

      • 61 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 12, 2015 at 01:21

        Verily it is so… *prepares her grave*

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2015 at 16:20

        If I dance, you die?

      • 63 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 12, 2015 at 19:58

        It could happen, I suppose.

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2015 at 20:31

        No!

      • 65 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 12, 2015 at 21:11

        Oh… oops

  7. 66 desertdweller29 March 3, 2015 at 20:31

    With the exception of Colin Firth, I think all those Darcys are pouty brutes! That said, I do believe the puffy shirts should make a comeback. They make for a good napkin, should one desire soup.

    • 67 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 13:46

      *laughs* Imagine the stains on the shirts, then! Oh come on, DD…it’s obvious Colin is a pouty beast, too!

  8. 68 Angeline M March 3, 2015 at 17:58

    You have set off my day with laughter and thoughts of Chinese noodles for dinner tonight. That last guy looks like he may have a loose noodle or two.

    • 69 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2015 at 18:56

      *laughing* An interesting thought! You know, I was about to say something about him. Do you suppose he skipped dinner or something?

  9. 70 walt walker March 3, 2015 at 16:37

    I think the second fellow is much more handsome, hearty and robust. The others look like fancy lads, like Chris Elliot in Cabin Boy.

    • 71 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2015 at 18:56

      Yes! Exactly. Plus, the b&w looks good with him. Walt…you don’t like P&P, do you?

      • 72 walt walker March 3, 2015 at 19:18

        Well you don’t, and I haven’t read it, so no, I don’t think so.

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 13:39

        Yes, Mr. Walt, don’t read it. That and the scooter riding might be bad for you.

      • 74 walt walker March 4, 2015 at 14:06

        Oh thank you, I saw this just in time! Was about to read it while riding the scooter.

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 14:11

        *laughing lots and lots and lots* You know you shouldn’t ever read on a scooter. Just bad for the eyes.

  10. 76 Debbie March 3, 2015 at 15:50

    I’ve never read this book, but that’s never stopped me from having and expressing an opinion!!

    Well done, Professor! Noodles it is. Merriam-Webster online, however, describes “mein” as “a person’s appearance or facial expression.” (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mien) I tend to like your definition better — it’s more, um, colorful! And just quite spicy, too!

    The ten thousand a year? Yeah, that was a puzzlement to me. My first thought was money, for only bucketloads of that stuff would negate having noodley hair!

    • 77 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2015 at 18:49

      Good for you! So you mean, you don’t like Darby? Just say yes, you know, you know.

      What? No! That’s a bum dictionary you got there. I mean…it’s just a bum one is all! It can’t be trusted. *laughing lots*

      Yes! Don’t you suppose, if one had noodly hair, one should get it cut off?

  11. 78 Lisa March 3, 2015 at 15:43

    What is your deal with Jane Austen? LOL!!! Mr. Darcy is awesome. Not as awesome as super man, but awesome none the less!!! :)

    • 79 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2015 at 18:47

      Well, JA needs judged, that’s all! Now…but…why’s he awesome?

      • 80 Lisa March 3, 2015 at 19:01

        Aaahhh. Professor wants tips. Well, Mr. Darcy is an uncompromising ass that knows everything and I find it extremely funny that Ms. Elizabeth throws him off his rocker so easily. And then when he realizes what she means to him he takes that uncompromising spirit and humbles himself to great lengths to show her without losing the strength of being a man. Yes, Mr. Darcy is a pure awesome. :)

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 13:38

        Hmm…but no! See, if he didn’t fall in love with her, he wouldn’t have had to humble himself. Didn’t he say she was ugly, too?

      • 82 Lisa March 4, 2015 at 14:49

        Yeah. Well men tell themselves all sorts of things to get out of stuff they don’t want to do. “You mean I have to put maximum effort into this?”

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 23:52

        *laughing* How do you know us so well? That so sounds like something I’d think!

      • 84 Lisa March 4, 2015 at 23:55

        *Channels Mary Catherine Gallagher* I think my thoughts are best summed up in a song by No Doubt.

        “I’m the kinda girl that hangs with the guys
        Like a fly on the wall with my secret eyes
        Takin it in, try to be feminine
        With my makeup bag watchin all the sin
        Misfit, I sit
        Lit up, wicked
        Everybody else surrounded by the girls
        With the tank tops and the flirty words

        I’m just sippin on chamomile
        Watching boys and girls and their sex appeal
        With a stranger in the face who says he knows my mom
        And went to my high school”

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 00:12

        Hmm…well…now I’m think the professor’s all different!

      • 86 Lisa March 5, 2015 at 00:13

        Hahaha! Is that a good thing?

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 12:36

        I’m not sure! Still scared of girls.

      • 88 Lisa March 6, 2015 at 00:06

        That sounds like wisdom. Lol

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2015 at 21:34

        Alas, who can teach wisdom? The buggers, I bet.

      • 90 Lisa March 6, 2015 at 21:41

        I tell you,Professor, it’s pure torture! ;)

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2015 at 00:06

        *nods* And there’s nothin’ for it, Lisa.

      • 92 Lisa March 9, 2015 at 00:59

        Told ya we would probably have to take the hard way.

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2015 at 00:47

        I’ll just sit at the crossroads, I think.

  12. 94 Heartafire March 3, 2015 at 15:30

    Thank you for addressing this issue, professor, it warrants a good lashing (with noodles, wet). We might also consider that Austen has cleverly slipped “Mein” into her novel to pay tribute to her German roots, stopping short of “Kampf” or “liebe”. I must read/watch P & P once more to check for other clues of madness, surely anyone who decides to go with “Fitzwilliam” as a main (not mein) character borders on the insane. Thank you once again.

    • 95 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2015 at 18:47

      *laughing lots* You rock, Hollie! This made me laugh. I was thinking about the Kampf roots as well. Do you suppose JA was German? Now that is an interest. Maybe the book is full of secret codes, do you suppose? But don’t watch it again…it spoils the mind, I hear.

      • 96 Heartafire March 4, 2015 at 16:28

        :-)…I will draw my conclusions from past reads and forego the reread, Dear God, how much can one bear?

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 23:58

        Exactly right! We can’t be nice to the book at all.

      • 98 Heartafire March 5, 2015 at 00:59

        I must confess that I am the eternal romantic and adore this classic, 40 lashes with a wet mein if it helps.

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 12:41

        *laughing* Oh rats and a heifer! Do you like the movie, too?

      • 100 Heartafire March 5, 2015 at 14:22

        I did the first 7 times.

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 18:43

        Aha! So you haven’t seen the newest.

      • 102 Heartafire March 5, 2015 at 19:30

        omg, there’s another one?

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2015 at 21:13

        Well… There will be! And I bet you’d watch it.

      • 104 Heartafire March 6, 2015 at 23:24

        I am the eternal romantic so yes, probably will.

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2015 at 00:13

        *laughing* Most girls are!

  13. 106 FictionFan March 3, 2015 at 14:58

    *speechless* Good noodles!!! Why, you…!!! You, you, you…

    *draws a deep calming breath* Thank you so much, dear Professor, for the pictures – I’m glad you’ve finally realised that your blog would be enhanced by several pictures of Darby! Especially Mr Firth – doesn’t he stand out as simply awesomely lovely even amongst this bunch of of exceptionally gorgeous men! I’m so glad Cassie isn’t here – I expect she might spontaneously self-combust…

    However… *silkily dangerous voice* … DARBY DOES NOT HAVE A SQUIRREL!!! NOR IS HE A… COMMUNIST!!!

    And another thing!! Professors who wear kisscurls shouldn’t cast the first noodle!!! So there!!!

    *flounces off, trying hard not to let C-W-W hear her howling with laughter*

    • 107 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2015 at 18:46

      You brilliant professor? You funny chap? You Darby-killer? That last one is the best.

      *laughs* I’m proud that your calming yourself! You know, I was so close to saying (and I would have if I didn’t have to make a point) that they all look the same! Come on! You know they do!! Well, I posted them for Amelia. She wanted to see why you love Darby so much.

      *laughing lots* You’re not supposed to recognize that fellow! Rats. Has anyone ever told you you’re too smart? I guess he too recognizable. JA never said he didn’t have an edleman!

      I agree! But I bet we can’t find a professor who does. *looks about in vain*

      *rampages in the same direction*

      • 108 FictionFan March 4, 2015 at 00:08

        You rapscallion! You wicked cur-noodle! You… you… Twain fan!!!

        For Amelia!!!!!!! *stops breathing calmly and starts snorting like Kenny on a long note* Don’t you let that creature anywhere near my Darby!! She’s already tried to steal my Schwarzy (who would never be so stupid) and my C-W-W (who… well… )!!! I grant you that there is some similarity in that they’re all stunningly gorgeous, but my Colin Darby has the most chocolatey eyes! This whole post was just an excuse ‘cos you wanted his pic on your blog *nods wisely and snorts again*

        Well, I don’t mean to be an obnoxious know-it-all… but… if you hover over it it tells you who it is! *shakes head sadly* She didn’t need to! We all know a man of such sophistication and refinement would never be a hairball!!

        *looks at the cover shot on the Bach vid* Ooh! Found one!

        *sets tripwire*

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 13:56

        Something tells me IA is taking a steep dive…

        Well, it’s a wonder he has chocolatey eyes…does he happen to also have a…umm…uhh…a nice…you know. Well, a nice posterior? I’m getting the feeling here that Darby and Evan are spot on with each other. Where’s Cassie? We must call her.

        *bangs head on desk* Does it really? Of course I knew that! Stupid wordpress… Well, a beard can look nice!

        Yeah…I don’t know about that…I can’t find it anymore. *shudders*

        Hmm…you’re trying to kill me again!

      • 110 FictionFan March 4, 2015 at 18:26

        We could beat each other over the heads with own femurs in defence of our authors!! (*knows the Professor will think this sounds like more fun than dancing and cries*)

        *haughty expression* I really wouldn’t know. Perhaps you should ask Amelia *sniffs*. Good noodles!! Stop trying to pair my Darby off with your left-over women!! Lizio will come after you with her katana!

        *chuckles* How often do you find you have to replace your desk? Well, I suppose it could be an improvement over some faces…

        A likely story! You should be proud – it’s quite adorable, you know, you know…

        Only a little bit!

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 00:01

        I would not like that! I wouldn’t hit my FEF! Now you have me calling you “my FEF”. *shakes head*

        Lizio might try and Amelia. I do wonder who would win. Who’s stronger. Depends on how many pull-ups they can do.

        Well, this one’s just a tad worn in a spot or two. Yeah, I need one the sudden.

        Adorable? Is not!

        That’s fine, then. I wouldn’t mind being a little dead.

      • 112 FictionFan March 5, 2015 at 16:28

        Awwww! *heart melts* And I’d never hit my C-W-W either! *big soppy smile*

        Lizio would take that creature and tie her in a knot without even rumpling her ballgown! She’s a warrior!! And Amelia would be too busy re-applying her mascara to do pull-ups…

        NO!!! You don’t! It would be unfair on the womenfolk of the world if you were to hide the Professorial visage!

        Well, I adore it, so it must be! So there!

        Couldn’t do it now, though – you beat me with the invincible ‘my FEF’ weapon…

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 19:02

        *smiles bigly* So dancing it is! Wow…that’s big, I must say. Coming from this professor.

        I think you could be right. Unless, of course, Mark Malone helped Amelia. But he’d probably flirt with Lizio.

        But it’s such a pain to shave!

        You have a point… *holds ears*

        *smiles even bigger* That works…now I know. And the kneeling and begging eyes.

      • 114 FictionFan March 5, 2015 at 22:04

        *faints* It’s huge! And so so so so so so wonderful!! *hurries off to put on her dancing shoes*

        Lizio would never flirt!! She’d be completely ladylike about it and stamp hard on his toes.

        It would be more of a pain to have to comb cashew crumbs out of your beard!

        *smug face*

        Oh dear! I’m in real trouble now – promise you’ll never deploy all three weapons simultaneously – I would die! Happily, though!

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2015 at 21:28

        *laughing* It’s funny that you get that excited!

        Bet he has steel-tipped boots! I should get a pair.

        That’s true. That makes the whole thing sound gross, too. Well…rats.

        I won’t. Unless you get real mean!

      • 116 FictionFan March 7, 2015 at 17:34

        Well, it’s taken two whole years!! *jumps up and down and squeals*

        *nods sadly* In preparation for the dance…

        Hurrah! I win!!

        It would almost be worth it though… *muses*

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2015 at 00:24

        Have you tricked me? Like Amelia might do?

      • 118 FictionFan March 9, 2015 at 16:07

        *gasps* How dare you!

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2015 at 01:18

        *ducks*

  14. 120 L. Marie March 3, 2015 at 14:42

    *Gapes*
    Uh, well, that certainly is a thought. While ten thousand noodles would be quite . . . interesting . . . £10,000 is much better.
    I believe Mr. Darcy is about 25 years old in the book. Colin Firth, the favorite, was about 35 when he played Darcy. I have yet to see an actor o the same age play the role.
    This article has some interesting illustrations of Darcy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Darcy

    • 121 FictionFan March 3, 2015 at 15:00

      Ohh! Doesn’t he look yucketh in those! Thank goodness for Colin Firth…

    • 122 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2015 at 18:43

      What’s that fancy little sign, though? See, we can’t be sure she meant that…can we? She should have specified! *digs her up and beats her with her own shin bones*

      Now those illustrations look just like all the Darcys! Come now…don’t they all look the same?

      • 123 L. Marie March 3, 2015 at 18:51

        Yes, they do. Perhaps you can start a trend with the new look for Darcy.

      • 124 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2015 at 18:57

        I’m sure all the ladies would appreciate to know what he really looked like.

  15. 125 PorterGirl March 3, 2015 at 14:41

    Brilliant! Quite frankly, I am a huge fan of noodles and if a chap had ten thousand of them I would be over to his house like a rat up a drainpipe. Or, something. On the other hand, if he has ten thousand fleas I wouldn’t be so keen. It must be the wig that does it.

    That other fellow looks very noodley indeed, but somehow he is not quite as exciting.

    • 126 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2015 at 18:41

      *laughing* I like the part about a rat up a drainpipe! Quite good, that. Imagine having that many flees! Now, be honest, don’t you think Darby had that many? Be honest!

      Doesn’t he look boring? And mean?

      • 127 PorterGirl March 3, 2015 at 18:54

        Ten thousand fleas? On one man? Now – do they have their own wigs or not? Because I think it makes all the difference.
        He looks like he might be asleep! That beard does look rather cosy.

      • 128 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2015 at 18:59

        Yes! On one man. The Darby man, of course. Wigs…nah, they’re eating wearing the same wig. It’s like a stock model. Horrid thought, isn’t it?

        The beard? Cosy?! Nah…it’s a hornet’s nest!

      • 129 PorterGirl March 3, 2015 at 20:27

        Goodness! Mr Darcy couldn’t possibly be so flea-ridden. You would see them a-jumping all over him. Ooooh it is a horrid thought! *squirms around a bit*
        Eeek! I shall give that beard a wide berth, then. Why is everything infested today? And there I was happily thinking of noodles… Pah!

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 13:44

        *shudders* You’re right…maybe it’s too horrid to think on. But imagine! Bet Liz would have left him then!

        *laughing* It’s really my fault. Darby and I have this long lasting battle, see. He was taken down too easily by Elizabeth, I’m thinking.

      • 131 PorterGirl March 4, 2015 at 14:29

        Oooh I like a long-lasting battle! I expect that you shall win as you are far more of a rogue. And flea-less. If Liz saw you first, the poor chap would never have got a look-in, I shouldn’t wonder. Maybe she really likes noodles.

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 23:42

        Maybe she does. But, see, I wouldn’t have danced with her either! And then she would have hated me, for sure. (Wouldn’t have called her ugly to her face, though!)

      • 133 PorterGirl March 5, 2015 at 06:12

        She wasn’t that friendly anyway. (Very gentlemanly of you, I am sure! )

      • 134 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 12:47

        Absolutely! She was mean, too. *shudders* Imagine those parties!

      • 135 PorterGirl March 5, 2015 at 13:09

        Pah! And I bet the food was rubbish, too.

      • 136 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2015 at 18:33

        Exactly right! Someone should have rampaged.

      • 137 PorterGirl March 5, 2015 at 20:07

        You would have, no doubt! Me too, I think.

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2015 at 21:16

        We both would have, and we would have been proud about it!

      • 139 PorterGirl March 8, 2015 at 21:09

        Very proud indeed! Then I would eat all the nibbles.

  16. 140 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member March 3, 2015 at 13:50

    I like it…

    • 141 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2015 at 18:39

      Was it nice and brutal?

      • 142 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member March 3, 2015 at 20:52

        It twas. I especially liked Karl M.

      • 143 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2015 at 13:47

        I thought you might…umm…a…different colored fellow, isn’t he?


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