Scroll Writing

“Do people still write on that stuff?” Schwarz Tauptinker asked.

old_scroll_by_hornedgodslaine-d5yeprh

King Arthur shrugged. “Yes and no. Only if you want to be formal, would you write on one of these.”

Schwarz laughed. “And I never want to be formal, so…!”

King Arthur waited for Schwarz to finish his sentence, but he didn’t, so Arthur finished it for him.

“So nothing.”

“So chickit,” Schwarz corrected. “What you writing?”

“This is a note,” Arthur replied.

“Didn’t I know that?” Schwarz asked.

“I don’t know, and I don’t care!” Arthur was getting a bit angry, and his face was flushing slightly.

A courier type of fellow came in, and Arthur handed him the note.

“News?” Arthur asked.

“He’ll be there,” the courier replied.

“Now that’s good,” Arthur said. “P.VJ will learn not to steal from me.”

“He stole from you?” Schwarz asked. “You know, I think he’s too dull to steal from anyone.”

“Is that so…?” Arthurs said, eyeing Schwarz.

“Yeah really no!”

King Arthur turned his attention back towards the courier. “Tell Mark Malone and LottieOllie to move in as soon as he’s drinking something.”

The courier nodded, and departed.

“Drinking something?” Schwarz asked.

“Tell me why I’d tell you any of our plans?”

“‘Cause I’ll warn P.VJ if you don’t!”

“Fine. He stole a purple ring from me, and I want it back. So, at the royal ball tomorrow, two agents I hired will nab him. Satisfied?”

“Probably not.”

Schwarz was quiet for a moment longer, then he said, “Hey, can I have a scroll?”

“For what?!”

“I want to do a secret agent thingy too!”

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123 Responses to “Scroll Writing”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 March 24, 2015 at 15:25

    Schwarz confounds the schemes of the wealthy and powerful!

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 20:16

      *laughing* That is perfect! I love that so much. I think I must keep it.

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 March 26, 2015 at 01:18

        *graciously* You may have it, Professor. Consider it a late birthday gift. :-)

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 11:59

        *bows* Many thanks! I do like it lots.

      • 5 erinkenobi2893 March 26, 2015 at 12:10

        I’m glad you do! :-D

  2. 6 Simply Skeptical March 12, 2015 at 00:44

    P.VJ a theif!?! Really? I don’t believe it! Not for one dadblame minute. We’ll have to get to the bottom of this and can’t wait till you do. Hurry with the to be continued……

    • 7 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2015 at 16:17

      I’m so glad you don’t believe it. I’m thinking you’re right: see, I’d probably be a murderer before a thief.

  3. 8 The Lite Rider March 11, 2015 at 19:16

    I don’t believe that you stole the purple ring. But if you did, it could appear next on a scroll….

    • 9 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2015 at 22:06

      *laughs* I’m not a thief, right? *professor eye*

      • 10 The Lite Rider March 12, 2015 at 20:26

        Riiiiiight. :)

      • 11 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2015 at 20:33

        That’s sounds somewhat sure…

  4. 12 Debbie March 11, 2015 at 18:22

    I’d watch my back if I were you, Professor. This crowd is up to no good! I’m pretty sure you’ve said somewhere that you don’t like purple, so they’ve got to be mistaken. You wouldn’t steal a purple ring. It wouldn’t “go” with your new shoes, you know!

    I rather like the scroll though. Perfect for a fancy ball! Just be sure you bring your own flask — you can’t afford to be poisoned!!

    • 13 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2015 at 22:05

      Spot on! I wouldn’t steal a purple ring. I might take one…if it was for free. And play a tossing game with it, but I wouldn’t steal it. Do you suppose I”ll take them?

      That’s quite right! I’ll have to go ready. But I do love punch…

  5. 14 Angeline M March 11, 2015 at 16:50

    A royal ball? That should be fun given that P.VJ is gonna get dusted. Unless…I can’t wait to find out.

    • 15 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2015 at 22:03

      Well…I’ll probably be armed, don’t you think?

      • 16 Angeline M March 12, 2015 at 02:54

        Yes. Absolutely. With that thing you use for defense sometimes.

      • 17 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2015 at 16:21

        The katana?

      • 18 Angeline M March 12, 2015 at 16:25

        Yes…ha! I’m just reading your post on the royal ball

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2015 at 16:33

        My moves are awesome, aren’t they?

  6. 20 FictionFan March 11, 2015 at 16:06

    How dare Schwarzy call my Professor dull?? Of course, he was probably just trying to cover for you. An international jewel thievery gang, eh? A new departure for you both – I like it! Next time could you please steal rubies? I like rubies. It’s good to know Arthur has sent those incompetents Lottie Ollie and Mark after you – they will never be a match for the Professor’s sharp katana and ever sharper wit…

    • 21 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2015 at 22:03

      *smiles bigly* That’s right of course! But…FEF…what if Amelia is at the ball, and she wants to dance? What should I say?

      Well…don’t go telling everyone we’re thieves. Rubies? The big ones or little ones?

      • 22 FictionFan March 12, 2015 at 15:17

        You should stay away from balls altogether! *nods decisively*

        Either – I’m not picky.

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2015 at 16:30

        Now don’t be all plumy, FEF. A chap has to have some sort of fun.

        -_- We both know girls are always picky!

      • 24 FictionFan March 12, 2015 at 17:41

        Plumy? No, he doesn’t!!! Are you telling me flirting with Amelia is fun?!?

        *Spock eyebrow*

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2015 at 20:25

        Well…one is either plumy or tops. They’re like opposites. Well…being at parties is! Do you see how much trouble I can cause?

        Cool. Didn’t he have elf ears, too?

      • 26 FictionFan March 13, 2015 at 00:52

        So… basically you’re saying I’m… bottoms?!? I can’t imagine why anyone would ever invite you to a party!!! *flounces for the 19th time today and flumps wearily onto a sofa*

        NO!!!!! He has Vulcan ears!!! They’re entirely different!

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke March 13, 2015 at 11:46

        No!!! I see how you could think that’s the way, but…well… I said don’t be plumy. You’re usually not. Must be all the flouncing you’ve decided to do. Why haven’t you ever invited me to a party?!

        They are? How so?

      • 28 FictionFan March 13, 2015 at 16:43

        I wish I knew how insulted I should feel on a scale of 1 to 10! I’m going with about an 8. Which rates a Huff-hum, sir! but not a full flounce. I would love to have you come to my parties… but you would bring that hideous creature and I’d have to kill her…

        Because… because… because they are!! See?

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke March 13, 2015 at 20:34

        If it makes you feel better, I generally insult people I like. Then again, I do insult people I don’t like…but it’s different. This is my new face for poor Amelia: -_-. I would not bring her! It’d be like a…date then! *shudders* I’m too heartless for girls, you know.

        That makes perfect sense…in an odd sort of nonsensical way.

      • 30 FictionFan March 14, 2015 at 01:47

        That’s so Glaswegian of you! *beams proudly* Poor!! Poor Amelia!! What’s the meaning of this?? You may not sympathise with that creature, sir, regardless of how many eyelashes she flutters in your direction!! And how come she gets her own face, huh?? Obsessed, that what it is! And now look what you made me do again… *flounces off*

        The best way! You taught me well!

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke March 14, 2015 at 19:01

        You’ve been training me well, and I didn’t even know! *laughing* Well…you can have a face too, if you want it. Really badly. -_- She does flutter them in my direction! They’re always falling out; I think she’s going bald.

        *laughing* I’m a rubbish teacher and you know it!

      • 32 FictionFan March 15, 2015 at 15:51

        *nods proudly* Soon you’ll be able to understand the elevator video without reading the subtitles! I do!! I want a prettier face than Amelia’s – hers isn’t hideous enough to really represent her nature. That would make me very happy…

        Rubbish! You’ve taught your Punchy Family a whole new language, dadblameit!!

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke March 15, 2015 at 23:52

        *laughs* I love that video. Those two guys were hilarious. (-/_-) Well, I wouldn’t say my face for you is prettier, but it definitely has more character. That line is either a nose or scar, I’m not sure which.

        That’s a good point. I didn’t even think about that. But you guys invented it too, in truth.

      • 34 FictionFan March 16, 2015 at 16:16

        I rather like my new face – it’s sweet! But…couldn’t you make me smile? ‘Cos I’m always smiling when I talk to the Professor, you know, you know…

        Dadblameit, no we didn’t, chickit!!!

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke March 16, 2015 at 18:38

        Oh! *laughs* It’s your face! I was thinking it was the face I made. Whoops. But it’s good like this. Though, I would never call it a scar if it was yours! I’m lucky you didn’t flounce. I can’t quite work out the smile. I tried. Dadblame keyboard!

        Schwarz!

      • 36 FictionFan March 16, 2015 at 22:18

        Eh? What? Whose face is it then? I’m too gardoobled to flounce…

        Yay!

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2015 at 03:43

        You shouldn’t flounce for those reasons anyway!

  7. 38 Susan P March 11, 2015 at 14:18

    Wait, now. The Professor did not steal that. I gave it to him as a gift. If
    Arthur had it, he’s the one who stole it.

    • 39 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2015 at 22:01

      Aha! Did Arty steal it from you?

      • 40 Susan P March 11, 2015 at 22:19

        No, he didn’t. That was Schwarz.

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2015 at 16:12

        Well, I think Schwarz is in war with you. Have you made peace?

      • 42 Susan P March 12, 2015 at 18:47

        Why should I?

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2015 at 20:27

        Well…he has more cannons, probably.

      • 44 Susan P March 12, 2015 at 21:33

        Ah, but I have a secret weapon…

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke March 13, 2015 at 11:43

        A nuke?

      • 46 Susan P March 13, 2015 at 22:36

        Worse: a room full of spoiled toddlers.

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke March 14, 2015 at 18:57

        Well, you could just withhold food from them.

      • 48 Susan P March 14, 2015 at 19:30

        Obviously you have never tried that.

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke March 15, 2015 at 23:39

        I fear I’m completely out of my zone, true. Is that a really bad idea?

      • 50 Susan P March 15, 2015 at 23:59

        You will never know unless you try.

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke March 16, 2015 at 18:18

        That’s not fair! You should tell me.

      • 52 Susan P March 16, 2015 at 18:30

        Mayhem.

  8. 53 desertdweller29 March 11, 2015 at 13:37

    Now I know for a fact, the Professor does not like the color purple and would NEVER steal a ring of such color! He believes it’s girly. So clearly someone is out to get the Professor. He should be warned! And clearly, clearly, Schwarz, while adorable in nature, cannot be trust with this task. Unless, he is planing to use the scroll for this purpose . . . *ponders deeply* Why of course he is! Chickit. Do your secret agent thingy, Schwarz!

    • 54 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2015 at 22:01

      *laughing* He is adorable, isn’t he?

      Well…quite right. I would never steal something uglily purple. Hector wouldn’t either. But don’t you think I’ll get them all anyway?

  9. 55 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 11, 2015 at 13:28

    This is what you get for being shady, a liar and sneaky. *laughs lots* Good grief, Duketh. Best of luck to you, of course. You should be careful and call in My Magi or MM now, I think. Scrolls are awesome. *thinks*
    I want a few…

    • 56 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2015 at 22:00

      You mean, you believed this sweet, dull, sweet, dull professor thieved?

      • 57 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 12, 2015 at 01:16

        Ummmm, yes! Most definitely. *stands firm*

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2015 at 16:17

        Me?! But…why? *does the professor eye to scare Audith*

      • 59 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 12, 2015 at 19:48

        *backs up slowly* I just wanted to start a fight, you know. Nothing to see here. Move along.

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2015 at 20:30

        Humph-noodles. I was expecting a sword fight!

      • 61 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 12, 2015 at 21:04

        I gave up on getting one of those, you know.

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke March 13, 2015 at 11:36

        I don’t see why. Did you get a sword?

      • 63 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 13, 2015 at 16:17

        No

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke March 13, 2015 at 20:30

        Well, you can’t fight without one! *pulls a feather from an ostriches back*

      • 65 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 13, 2015 at 22:10

        I could. Tis possible, you know. What did the ostrich do to you? *pulls the feather from your hand and puts it in her ponytail* Where’d he come from anyway?

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke March 14, 2015 at 18:55

        Aren’t all ostriches girls? I’m not sure. They’re always following me about it. You can shoot it if you want.

      • 67 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 14, 2015 at 22:13

        No, Duke. Not all are girls. Hello?!
        Where are you? Always following you about seems suspicious. No. I don’t want to shoot it. Geez.

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke March 15, 2015 at 23:42

        *Laughing lots and lots* Sorry…of course I probably knew that. Well, you were plucking its feathers! The next logical step is a shooting, you know.

      • 69 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 16, 2015 at 02:35

        You do have a way of making yourself look a fool, Duketh. *laughs* However, I do appreciate you making my reply easy.
        You! You were plucking one feather…not I!
        Well then you shoot it, but take it for a ride first. Only seems fair…

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke March 16, 2015 at 18:20

        *laughing* Hey! That’s so…hurtful! But then again, I told you I’m dull. I can’t ride one of those! They’re too…skinny!

      • 71 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 17, 2015 at 04:20

        *giggles* Well you should sort yourself and come at me straight, Sir. I love to make you laugh. They aren’t skinny. Their legs are, but their bodies are nice and plump. Tis nice, I think.

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2015 at 21:59

        *laughs* Do you suppose they taste good?

      • 73 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 18, 2015 at 00:09

        A bit like honey. Do you suppose?

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2015 at 18:21

        Now that is gross!

      • 75 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 18, 2015 at 21:06

        Honey is gross?! No way!!!

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2015 at 23:03

        I love honey.

      • 77 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 20, 2015 at 03:07

        Me, too. I should send you some of our local honey. It is the best.

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke March 20, 2015 at 18:18

        That sounds cool! How’s it made? I mean…any differences?

      • 79 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 22, 2015 at 23:58

        I have no idea. We may have better flowers here….what do you suppose?

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2015 at 20:22

        Probably. But do you think they’re resistant to this professor?

      • 81 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 24, 2015 at 03:16

        No, I doubt that very much.

  10. 82 L. Marie March 11, 2015 at 13:27

    Wow. Schwarz to the rescue! I can’t wait for the ball! Hope you wear some beautiful pants tomorrow. It’s always better to look nice when someone is about to nab you. I only hope Manly-Man is involved in the counter-nabbing.

    • 83 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2015 at 21:59

      *shocked* But don’t you think I might be able to put up a fight? Should…I wear THE pants?

      • 84 L. Marie March 12, 2015 at 14:36

        Um, well, of course you can put up a fight.
        Yes, you should wear THE pants.

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2015 at 16:28

        But…they’ll get too much publicity!

  11. 86 Hazy March 11, 2015 at 12:38

    Stole? The professor? Did you really? And something purple! Purple! I kinda don’t believe it… unless you were just practicing your stealthiness. But I still don’t kinda believe it.

    Now I’m curious if Malone and Lottie could catch him. Evasive maneuvers mode!

    • 87 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2015 at 21:58

      Quite right! I wouldn’t steal, would I? And never a purple thingy anyway!

      I’m ready. Send Weatherly, too, please.

      • 88 Hazy March 15, 2015 at 11:14

        I knew it! And Weatherly is on his way. I hope he made it on time.

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke March 15, 2015 at 23:46

        I think he did. He’s so amazing, you know.

      • 90 Hazy March 16, 2015 at 13:08

        I’m glad he did. He reminds me how awesome he is every day! *laughs*

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke March 16, 2015 at 18:25

        *laughing* Does he charge a lot for his services?

      • 92 Hazy March 17, 2015 at 12:37

        Oh, if he likes you, he’ll do things voluntarily and for free (lucky you and lucky me!) But for others, he would probably charge. Lots, he says.

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2015 at 22:05

        That’s good. He’s worth it, and must make something, you know.

  12. 94 Alastair Savage March 11, 2015 at 12:29

    Where’s Launcelot? Where’s Guinevere? Oh, I’m sure they can’t be up to anything just because they’re not in the king’s sight.

    • 95 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2015 at 21:56

      *laughing lots and lots* Well, you should know, this Arthur had them both executed. He’s a midget with a very bad temper, see. It’s a shame. Really. He should have just accepted it. Don’t you suppose so?

  13. 96 Julie Harris March 11, 2015 at 11:53

    I think Schwarz needs a fancy fountain pen to write on the fancy scroll!

    • 97 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2015 at 21:55

      I think you’re exactly right! I can imagine him writing and getting ink over his whole face.

  14. 98 walt walker March 11, 2015 at 11:45

    Oh dear, P.VJ! I fear you might be caught unawares. Please endeavor to watch out for yourself. Turn the tables on them or something. Do be careful what you drink. Perhaps you should cause a great ruckus to throw everyone off their game. Would you like to borrow my boomerang, just in case?

    • 99 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2015 at 21:54

      Yes! I would love to have your boomerang. But don’t throw it, please. Just hand it over. Do you suppose they’ll wait until I’m hiding someplace?

    • 100 walt walker March 11, 2015 at 23:12

      Well, if it’s poison, I would think they would do that in plain sight. So they would have an alibi. They were right there, and didn’t do it, you see. Something like that. Here is the boomerang. *hands it over carefully, not quite wanting to let it go*

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2015 at 16:16

        I’ll take good care of it. Sorta like Solo and the Land fellow. That’s what’s going on here.

        Have you ever administered poison?

      • 102 walt walker March 12, 2015 at 21:21

        Poison? No. Not yet. I don’t wish too. It would be…gruesome, I think.

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke March 13, 2015 at 11:42

        I think you might be right.

  15. 104 PorterGirl March 11, 2015 at 11:39

    *dramatic trumpet-y music* But this cannot be! The Professor would not steal such a thing unless there was a very good reason. For example, he wanted it. Or – he is being set up by some scampy urchin or other. I happen to know that the Professor is not fond of purple. Something is afoot and Schwarz knows it.
    Oooh a royal ball, fantastic! The PL really is THE place for parties. I hope this one is as violent as all the others.

    • 105 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2015 at 21:54

      *smiles bigly* Aw, Lucy! Thanks for your vote of confidence. Of course you’re right. This professor would never hunt for a purple ring. It’s a dadblame girls color, it is. And Arthur is such a meanie. Tomorrow shall reveal the truth. I fear it is a bit violent over all. And Amelia is in it, I fear! She’s your favorite.

      • 106 PorterGirl March 12, 2015 at 08:18

        Dadblamit! *shakes fists* That infernal hose-beast Amelia! I hope much violence comes her way. And Arthur, for casting such an unforgivable slur against your good name (the name of Goose-nubbin!) I cannot wait to learn the truth. I am quivering with expectation!

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2015 at 16:22

        *Laughing* Well, that’s probably not my most well-known name…at this time. What’s a hose-beast? It’s sounds cool. You should take Arthur’s wig.

      • 108 PorterGirl March 12, 2015 at 16:38

        Amelia is the hose-beast, not you. Actually, now I think about it, it’s actually very rude. Maybe I should have called her swamp donkey instead. Yes! I shall get his wig. And give it to Head Of Catering for the next gig… which isn’t going to happen. No.

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2015 at 20:18

        See! You mentioned it too… Are you absolutely positively absolutely sure? (I think I have something to nag you about now, madam.)

        Nah…hose-beast is just fine!

      • 110 PorterGirl March 12, 2015 at 21:09

        You mustn’t nag me, Goose-nubbin, or else! Well, you may a little bit (and bits). Hose-beast it certainly is, then!

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke March 13, 2015 at 11:37

        *laughing* Not the Goose-nubbin! Well…I’ll nag you every other hour, then.

      • 112 PorterGirl March 13, 2015 at 12:36

        Every other hour sounds delightful, thank you Goose… Professor *smiles innocently*

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke March 13, 2015 at 20:28

        *Laughing and trying not to* Goose? Huff-Hum to you, madam! I’ll…send you to your studio!

      • 114 PorterGirl March 14, 2015 at 09:00

        Oh, what a harsh punishment! *writes a song about a Goose-nubbin*

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke March 14, 2015 at 19:03

        *laughing too much* You better not!

      • 116 PorterGirl March 15, 2015 at 08:55

        *winks*

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke March 15, 2015 at 23:44

        None of that, young lady!

      • 118 PorterGirl March 16, 2015 at 05:44

        Pah!

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke March 16, 2015 at 18:21

        *laughs* I love when you say that.

      • 120 PorterGirl March 16, 2015 at 19:24

        Pah pah PAH!

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2015 at 03:34

        A triple pah attack!

      • 122 PorterGirl March 17, 2015 at 06:00

        Thrice the delight of a single pah!

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2015 at 22:02

        That’s almost too much to take!


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