The Library

“I’ve got a novel idea,” he said.
“Shut-up and write a book, then,” I said.

***

Pierpont-Morgan-Library-New-York

The professor was at a library.

I usually don’t go to the library to read.

You see, I go there to sit and think.

As this professor was making his way to his favorite chair (it’s by the fire which is never lit), I spotted a fellow with curly red hair, a nose that seemed to jut in a northeasterly direction, and a powerful set of eyebrows.

It was none other than Shaun Divine.

And to make matters even more interesting, Divine was sitting at a table with Sandra Salami–and they were laughing.

That’s a bad sign.

You see, Sandra just wasn’t laughing; she was giggling. There’s a difference: Girls only giggle when they’re embarrassedly happy about something rather worthless. (At least, that’s what I’m told, and you can’t argue with me: I looked it up in the dictionary.)

They were having speaks, and—in my shock, I fear—I stood and stared a bit too long.

Divine saw me and tilted his head. “And what are you looking at, lad?” He may have an accent of sorts. A brogue? I’m not sure. But I bet he has one.

Lad. That was quite vexing, and while I was mulling over that, he followed up with: “Why don’t you get lost and leave us be?”

“Yes, please,” Sandra said. “I’m trying to study for a medical exam I have coming.”

And that’s when this professor asked a rather innocent question: “Does your father, Sandra, know you’re here?”

“Now, now,” Divine interrupted, wagging his finger. “I’ll have none of that. No more Mr. Nice-Divine. You better get lost—and quick.”

Sandra seemed to agree.

And I was about to.

But when I turned abruptly around, I ran right into Ms. Higgins. (She’s always sitting at the front desk in the library.)

“Ms. Higgins,” Divine said, “can you escort this nosy lad elsewhere? Me and Sandra were trying to have a conversation.”

“Certainly,” she rasped.

Yep, I thought: She’s in his pay.

Ms. Higgins always has her hair pulled back into a bun. And she also has a pointy nose (which doesn’t have a direction) and some glasses. She was wearing a black dress and some stilts. The perfect librarian.

“This way, Mr. Duke,” she said, trying to escort me away.

“Now hold on for a few and some in between,” I said, slapping  her hand away. “What am I being taken away for?”

“One is not allowed to speak in the library.”

“Very good point. I’m glad you brought it up: Time for us to be quiet, then.”

“Speak loudly. You’re not allowed to speak too loudly. And the last thing I want is for you and Mr. Divine to get into a fight. Please, Mr. Duke.”

And this professor couldn’t refuse.

As we were heading back to her desk, she said: “You know how it goes: Deception leads to Doubt; Doubt to Despair; and Despair to Death.”

She looked at me hopefully.

“Very nice,” I said. “If I were there, I’d clap.”

See, Ms. Higgins is in some sort of English class, and she’s always rehearsing speeches she has to give. She likes to run them by me as well.

“Oh good!” she said, clasping her hands together. “Do you suppose they’ll like it?”

“If they don’t,” I replied, “they won’t.”

She nodded, understanding.

And that’s when Ruber Salami barged in. “Shaun!” he was yelling. “I’m coming for you, you brute, eh?!”

This professor could just hear Divine: “If it’s a fight you want, I’m game.”

It wasn’t going to be good.

Ms. Higgins set off to stop it, and this professor disappeared. Not literally, of course, but somewhat close to it.

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173 Responses to “The Library”


  1. 1 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 24, 2015 at 14:05

    Wow! You are a warrior! I’m so proud of how you handled that, Duketh! You always come out on top. I can’t believe you yelled like Sandra…she must be quite manly, after all. I feel bad for the ruckus in the library and the mess you must have made. *hands you a broom*
    I loved this battle!

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 20:13

      You did? I thought you were going to yell at me for fighting, too! *smiles proudly* Do I have to clean up?

      • 3 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 25, 2015 at 01:07

        I don’t think so…my getting mad at you doesn’t help anything. I’d much prefer cheer you on and bail you out later, I guess. Yes, if you make the mess you clean it up. House rules.

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2015 at 11:54

        We should try and change that house rule. It’s a bit spicy and dull, don’t you agree? I bet Mr. Warrior agrees. Ms. Higgins should be able to clean up. As a matter of fact, I bet Mr. Warrior would have fought with me!

      • 5 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 25, 2015 at 22:19

        No changing that rule, Sir. Dull? Tis been working for thousands…hundreds. ..fifty years…twelve years now, maybe. Oh, he agrees with anyone who gets him out of a chore. Poor woman. At this point, I’m guessing he would have, Duke.

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 11:49

        Why at this point? See…everyone tries to get out of a chore. After all, chores aren’t fair, are they?

      • 7 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 26, 2015 at 15:27

        *laughs a little* No, chores aren’t fair. Hire a maid, I guess.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 20:33

        They’d hate me.

      • 9 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 27, 2015 at 03:22

        Not possible! Ever.

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2015 at 13:00

        Sure?

      • 11 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 27, 2015 at 14:02

        Are you?

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2015 at 14:02

        No…I must admit.

      • 13 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 28, 2015 at 23:02

        Might be easier to clean up all by yourself.

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke March 29, 2015 at 18:29

        I think I’ll just run away.

      • 15 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 29, 2015 at 20:04

        Wouldn’t be the first time, you know.

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2015 at 12:08

        It’s fun to run, you know.

      • 17 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 30, 2015 at 14:13

        Sure it is!

  2. 18 Simply Skeptical March 24, 2015 at 00:26

    Shaun Divine sounds like a colorful character Prof. Glad Salami appeared to get the attention and hands off of you. Now they’re going to see a brawl and they deserve it after mistreating the sweet and concerned Professor. That’s quite a library. Is that the PL Library? wow….

    • 19 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 12:20

      That is some library! Oh, I’m not sweet at all, don’t you know. I’m rather spicy about the edges, you should know.

  3. 20 deepbluesandseafoamgreens March 23, 2015 at 22:52

    The library is where it’s AT!!!
    Coolest place on earth.

    • 21 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 12:16

      Even with all the dust?

      • 22 deepbluesandseafoamgreens March 24, 2015 at 18:52

        My theory: since the library is such a hotspot etc, it’s always being used. Therefore, no potential for dust accumulation!

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 20:19

        Ohhhhhhhhhhh…that is a fabulous theory. Now we must test it. Let’s go and dust a library.

      • 24 deepbluesandseafoamgreens March 24, 2015 at 20:23

        No Professor! It will be dustless already!

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2015 at 11:42

        But that’s just your hypothesis!

      • 26 deepbluesandseafoamgreens March 26, 2015 at 03:30

        No! A conclusion!

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 12:03

        Is not, VQ! *holds ears*

  4. 28 floridaborne March 23, 2015 at 21:42

    He dawdled, of course, as professors always do. It isn’t eavesdropping, it’s simply a slow jaunt to the door…. :-)

    • 29 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 12:16

      That’s right! I was just making sure I had everything I wanted. Right on! I bet you would’ve stopped a bit, too.

  5. 30 John W. Howell March 23, 2015 at 19:43

    Did the professor spill disappearing ink on himself?

    • 31 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2015 at 20:37

      Well, that’s what I was there looking for, but I couldn’t find it. Where do you suppose they file it away at ?

      • 32 John W. Howell March 23, 2015 at 20:55

        In the i’s

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 12:13

        *laughing* You always have the perfect answer. I’ll go a looking immediately.

      • 34 John W. Howell March 24, 2015 at 12:25

        :-)

  6. 35 Jackie March 23, 2015 at 19:08

    Manothunder! Wowawee! That was gripping and amusing! Well done. :-)

    • 36 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2015 at 20:37

      Many thanks, Jackie! That’s what happens in libraries. *shudders*

      • 37 Jackie March 23, 2015 at 20:41

        You’re most welcome, Professor! That settles it – I’ll have to go check out the library. The last time I went it was really quiet and boring.

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 12:10

        You’ve been to that library? I agree. Usually libraries are that way. Make sure to bring a pin if you go. So you can stick potential fist fighters!

      • 39 Jackie March 24, 2015 at 12:15

        I will! Thanks for the advice!

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 12:25

        Absolutely! I’ll take a knife along.

      • 41 Jackie March 23, 2015 at 20:42

        PS I’m blogging again.

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 12:11

        Yeah! *fist thingy* Awesome. Just subbed. Psyched to have you back, madam!

      • 43 Jackie March 24, 2015 at 12:17

        I’m psyched cause you’re psyched! Yay! Glad to be back. :-D

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 12:25

        *laughs* Missed you, for sure.

  7. 45 samaborder March 23, 2015 at 18:49

    I’m hungry now. I feel the need for sausage.
    Sammy

    • 46 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2015 at 20:37

      *laughing* Now, why is that, Sammy?

  8. 47 Julie Harris March 23, 2015 at 18:39

    What a fantastic library!! I agree- libraries are great for thinking, not so great for reading…especially with all the drama that ensues around you! Never a dull moment, eh?

    • 48 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2015 at 20:37

      That’s quite right! Always people complaining over books. And this library is dusty, mind you.

  9. 49 desertdweller29 March 23, 2015 at 16:29

    I take issue with your distaste for giggling, as I now believe the Professor would have issues with me and my amusement at these absurdities! Is it only girls that giggle? I think not! Boys chuckle, I suppose. And chuckling is more manly? Let’s ask Manly-Man about this. I want some answers…

    PS. I would love to trade you libraries! Even if there is a librarian who wear stilts. I had a good *chuckle* over that. But I suppose the Professor would then think less of me!

    PPS. I hope you had a wonderful birthday. Did you get a new crooked dumbbell? A new hat? Something Professorish?

    • 50 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2015 at 20:35

      *laughing lots* Oh no! Don’t worry, DD. You don’t giggle like the giggling I’m imagining. See, you giggle. I was talking about giggling. There’s a difference, promise. You wouldn’t refer to the giggling I’m referencing with giggling. Does that make any sense? I fear I have a headache, the sudden.

      Not at all! Oh rats. I must huff-hum for a bit. You know I like your giggles! Do you suppose she wears those instead of grabbing a ladder?

      *laughing lots and lots and lots* Crooked dumbbell! That made me laugh so much, you know. Well…I actually got a fluffy Tassie Devil! How’s that?

      • 51 desertdweller29 March 23, 2015 at 23:02

        I fear your headache explaining giggling has made me giggle all the more! If I were in a library, they’d have kicked me out because of you!

        This Tassie Devil is a wonder… Just what in the devil is it? A Tasmanian Devil? For real? I thought for sure you would have received a fluffy rat and heifer. Maybe it’s a combination of both…

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 12:17

        *looks guilty* I wouldn’t have let them! How’s that? And I wouldn’t let a chap throw you out of the YA section either!

        *laughing lots* Oh no…it’s a Tassie! I should take some pics of it and post them. It looks like me, you know.

  10. 53 Debbie March 23, 2015 at 15:09

    I for one wouldn’t get a thing done in a setting that spectacular! No wonder you didn’t go there to read, Professor!

    I find myself a bit confused, though. If Sandra and Shaun can have speaks and giggle there, why were you being tossed out on your ear? And by the poor librarian with stilt-legs? Such a mental picture there!

    I do like the way you threw in a proverb-of-sorts for us! But hey, why do you always make a grand escape, just when the fun’s about to begin?? Didn’t you want to know the rest of the story?? (By the way, I do — maybe you’ll enlighten us tomorrow??)

    • 54 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2015 at 20:33

      Do you suppose Dallas would like it there?

      *laughing* Why do you suppose the stilts? Imagine! I guess she just wants to reach extra high books or something. Very true: I shouldn’t have gotten thrown out. Something is a bit off and wrong about that. She was just trying to get me to go to another part of the library, I think.

      But…even if it’s an ugly battle? If you insist, I will finish it tomorrow. Do you insist?

      • 55 Debbie March 23, 2015 at 20:44

        Only if there’s food! I didn’t see any in the photo, though. And he does tend to talk a bit (Shelties are vocal!), so he’d probably get kicked out just like you!

        You slapped the librarian?? *shocked gasp* Professor! If she was simply trying to move you to another part of the building (and prevent a ruckus), wasn’t a slap kind of overkill??

        Yes, I insist. Finish it tomorrow. I want to know what happens to Sandra!

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 12:13

        *laughing* Talking is sweet from him, I’m sure. I wonder if you can have food in a library? I never thought on it. Bet not in this place, though!

        Well…just a bit! I didn’t slap her in the face. Just slapped her hand away. It was a self-defense move, see.

        Okay…just for you, then!

  11. 57 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 23, 2015 at 14:01

    I love libraries, Duketh. I enjoy librarians nearly as much. They may be the smartest people on earth, I think. Now who is this Divine dude? Should Sandra be scared? And why oh why are all the bad and annoying people in the PL redheads? How rude! I’m annoyed with you, Sir. Some redheads have cute button noses, you know. *evil eye*

    • 58 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2015 at 20:30

      Well…I didn’t decide it, after all. I think you’ll like Divine. He’s real spicy, not at all a bad heart. He just gets…a bit rambunctious in the moment, see. Don’t you like him already?

      Annoyed! *laughs* Shaun Divine doesn’t!!! A button nose…only Frosty had one of those!

      • 59 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 24, 2015 at 03:26

        You approved it then, I suppose. I’ll like Divine? *waits to see about that* *wiggles her eyebrows* I’ll try to keep an open mind, Duke. Like him? He dismissed you…no I do not like him.

        Doea too. No you described him as a pointy and longish nose, I think. Me and frosty, thank you very much! *mumbles*

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 12:22

        Well, that’s just cause he’s a bit spicy. A bit of a beast, see. You might come to like him a bit, then.

        *laughing* I thought you’d think Frosty was cute? I can’t figure ladies out, you know. I look like a tassie devil, so…

      • 61 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 24, 2015 at 13:59

        He’s spicy..oh, my. I guess we’ll see. New folks worry me, a bit.

        He is cute. I love eyes made out of coal. So dreamy! I’m sorry you have trouble with the ladies. They like you, you know? Of course you know. I don’t know what a tassie devil is.
        Umm….I said know a lot. *smiles*

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 20:12

        Yes, I agree! What is it about new folks?

        I think they all want to gang up on me! *laughing* Bet he can’t see through those eyes of coal! You know…it’s a Tasmanian Devil!

        That’s a good thing, you know, you know.

      • 63 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 25, 2015 at 01:10

        I don’t know…new folks are nice. Do you think?

        They probably do want to gang up on you, but you’ll survive. It’ll make you stronger. Oh, yes…strange little guys.

        *laughs*

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2015 at 11:54

        They are! That’s why I mess with them straight out–to see how they’ll take it.

        They are! But I think I’m one. The girls? We should get some sort of net for them.

      • 65 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 25, 2015 at 22:16

        And I’m quite sure they do. *smiles*

        *hands you a butterfly net* Have fun!

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 11:48

        Maybe. I don’t know, for sure.

        Can’t you do it for me?

      • 67 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 26, 2015 at 15:29

        You should know. I would, but I don’t. (Sounds like you.)

        Naw. I don’t think that’ll get a positive reaction. Best if you go chasing about.

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 20:33

        It does!

        Nah, that will give them the wrong impression.

      • 69 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 27, 2015 at 03:23

        Seems…interesting, you know?

        Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2015 at 13:01

        I think I know what you mean.

        So, you must do it, then.

      • 71 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 27, 2015 at 14:03

        Seems likely, I suppose.

        Maybe I should, but…

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2015 at 14:02

        But…?

      • 73 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 28, 2015 at 23:05

        …but, they are here for you. You must do it.

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke March 29, 2015 at 18:29

        *hides*

      • 75 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 29, 2015 at 20:03

        *thows her hands up* Never fails!

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2015 at 12:07

        *in the corner with the spiders*

      • 77 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 30, 2015 at 14:14

        Gross! Boys!

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2015 at 19:53

        Spiders are friendly!

      • 79 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 30, 2015 at 21:51

        How absurd!

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2015 at 11:47

        They are! They kill other things.

      • 81 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 31, 2015 at 14:04

        *worried face* Like….

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2015 at 22:06

        Roaches, for instance.

      • 83 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 1, 2015 at 02:17

        *shivers* People eat those.

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2015 at 18:25

        *crunches one* You haven’t? Okay…just kidding!

      • 85 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 1, 2015 at 21:31

        *laughing lots* Swollow it!

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2015 at 12:59

        Never!!!

  12. 87 FictionFan March 23, 2015 at 13:56

    Well! I ran the full gamut of emotions with this one! First line – The professor was at a library. How happy that made me! I imagined him browsing through the various tomes, an absorbed look on his face, as he swithered over a modern American classic, or perhaps a translation of a great French novel, or maybe a Dickens…

    Then I read the second line and was crushed!

    But after a brief pause to dry my tears, I bravey read on…only to discover that the Professor thinks that I am embarrasedly happy about something worthless when I giggle! I may never find it in myself to giggle again!!! Not even at the stilts…

    I suspect the Professor was just in a cranky mood because Sandra didn’t flutter her eyelashes at him…

    • 88 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2015 at 20:29

      *laughs* I did that for a little bit. But it was boring. All the books looked the same. Of course, I didn’t bother to open them much. I’m sure they were dusty, see.

      Oh dear! But…FEF, do you giggle? I’m sure we have different definitions of giggling, see. The girls in the Pearl Harbor movie, they giggle, and it’s maddening. But I’m sure you don’t. Imagine the stilts! *shakes head* Women!

      Imagine courting DS’s daughter! No thank you and a half! (Aren’t you proud of me, though?)

      • 89 FictionFan March 23, 2015 at 23:12

        They wouldn’t get dusty if they were read regularly – poor books!

        I giggle lots! Don’t you listen? It must be ‘cos you’re always holding your ears. I also chuckle – which I may say I don’t think is manly at all!! *teeters on the verge of a flounce* I did imagine the stilts and I… guffawed!

        Well…proud and suspicious, I think. We shall see if you manage to get through part 2 without flirting…

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 12:19

        Well, bet not even you (and BUS!) could read them all. There must be…100,000!

        FEF, now you must explain something: what’s the difference between a chuckle and giggle? I was under the impression only girls giggled, and only men chuckled. OF course, I could be wrong. I must needs defer to you on this.

        I sure did! *waits to be congratulated*

      • 91 FictionFan March 24, 2015 at 15:23

        BUS has probably read them all already! Twice!

        I’m offended, you know, you know. I always chuckle and I don’t think it’s manly at all. I think you’re being incredibly sexist *growls in an unchuckly way*

        Well… OK! Congratulations! *knows he only didn’t flirt ‘cos Amelia wasn’t slithering around*

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 20:15

        *laughing* I knew it! Bet she knows Ms. Higgins.

        No! Are you? Please don’t be offended! *kneels and pleads* I’ve probably got it all wrong. That happens quite frequently, you know.

        I’m surprised you weren’t jealous of Ms. Higgins!

      • 93 FictionFan March 25, 2015 at 00:53

        She’d be too busy with the books to chit-chat with the librarian…

        Ooh, kneeling and pleading!! That would definitely work – if only I was a girl! *rampages off, since flouncing is too girly for a MAN*

        *silkily sweet and deceptively calm voice* Is my dear C-W-W implying that old, short, stilted Ms Higgins could be considered as serious competition for his FEF…??

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2015 at 11:53

        That’s a very good point. I wonder how fastly fast she could manage to go.

        *laughing lots* Girls are hilarious. But see here, I suppose we should think about this. You know, I probably better not. *laughs* You’ll just get crankier.

        Umm…well…not know she can’t!

      • 95 FictionFan March 25, 2015 at 15:49

        It’s frightening to watch actually… I reckon she must be part-alien.

        I’ve just been selected for the Scottish Rugby Team, so you’d better be careful *flexes six-pack and spits*

        So wise!

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2015 at 20:49

        *nods* Maybe like Spock! Or…that fellow with the brown face.

        *laughing* Rugby is a girls sport compared to American Football!

      • 97 FictionFan March 26, 2015 at 00:27

        Geordie La Forge? George Clooney? Hector the Dog?

        Hah! Your guys wouldn’t stand a chance against my guys! My guys are tough – they don’t wear shoulder pads! Or have a rest every two minutes…

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 11:56

        No, no! Worg! I think that’s him. I do forget, the sudden. (George Clooney has a brown face? *laughs* I wind the sudden.)

        They don’t need should pads, but imagine if Vince cracked them!

      • 99 FictionFan March 26, 2015 at 15:44

        *laughs lots* Worg?? Do you mean Worf? Or is Worg some footballer I haven’t met yet? (Well, he’s perfectly tanned…)

        I reckon even Vince would quiver if he met Geoff Cross…!!!

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 20:40

        Yes, that’s it! Why couldn’t I remember that? Nah… Here’s a good football name for you: Legedu Naanee.

        Vince has him beat by like…100 pounds!

      • 101 FictionFan March 27, 2015 at 00:38

        Old age! Well, what about my favourite rugby player – Jonah Lomu.

        Nonsense! That beard alone must weigh 200 pounds!!

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2015 at 12:57

        Oooo…he’s real cool! I like him the sudden.

        Did I tell you the sad news that Vince W…left the Pats? *cries*

      • 103 FictionFan March 27, 2015 at 20:10

        Isn’t he? There was one great game where he beat the English team almost singlehandedly – ahhh! It was a wonderful thing to watch! If only he was Scottish…

        No!!! Traitor!! We should throw blancmanges at him!

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2015 at 14:13

        He seems like a vicious brute–and that’s a compliment. Bet he could maybe even beat Hector.

        But he’s one of my favs…

      • 105 FictionFan March 28, 2015 at 22:19

        He’s also rather gorgeous…

        But he’s a traitor. Who’s he gone to?

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke March 29, 2015 at 18:27

        I think you think everyone is gorgeous!

        The Houston Texans. *shakes head* Oh dear.

      • 107 FictionFan March 30, 2015 at 01:07

        Well, lots of people are ordinarily gorgeous, I admit, but only the Professor (and Darby) are specially gorgeous!

        Dadblamed rebel Southerners! *note to self – stop reading books about the Civil War*

      • 108 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2015 at 12:23

        Oh no, the professor is just professorish looking. Like not at all. I need to fix that somehow. Get a more book-able look or something.

        Hey! The professor is an honorary southerner, you know–even if I live in the North. Are you really? That’s cool.

      • 109 FictionFan March 30, 2015 at 17:16

        Hmm… I’m not sure I like the sound of that. I think I should be given advance notice of any planned changes, plus the power of veto…

        Actually I always find myself on the Southerners’ side too, though I feel I shouldn’t. Just the John Wilkes Booth one.

      • 110 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2015 at 20:06

        Does that mean I’ve just been vetoed? *glum face* How about a gold necklace?

        Do you? *fist thingy* No, that’s perfect. We can go to the south and you can be a belle.

      • 111 FictionFan March 31, 2015 at 01:12

        A discreet gold chain might be acceptable… maybe… but NO medallions!!!

        Ooh, yes, please!! Those dresses!! And that accent!! *starts packing*

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2015 at 12:01

        *smiles bigly* I can get one!! *maybe jumps up and down* No medallions. Right. Okay. That’s a deal.

        *laughing* A southern drawl. But…would you really want to wear such a…huge dress?

      • 113 FictionFan March 31, 2015 at 17:01

        Discreet, remember! You can’t go about looking like Mr T!

        I most certainly would! And a fan! How romantic would that be!! And you’d be wearing a dinky Confederate General’s uniform… *sighs*

      • 114 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2015 at 22:11

        Ew! I don’t want to look like him!!!! I’ll just stick with a watch. And maybe a bandana.

        A general’s? Yes, please! I’d have a huge sword, too. That’d be all bloody.

      • 115 FictionFan April 1, 2015 at 16:25

        *smiles bigly* Rafa doesn’t wear any jewellery except a watch, you know – and he wears a bandana… *drifts off into a happy daydream*

        OK, but make sure you don’t get any blood on my ballgown!!

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2015 at 18:43

        *laughs* Oh dear. I just compared myself to him unintentionally! Maybe I’ll get football gloves. *reminds FEF of his video*

        Oh yes…maybe I should clean it first then?

      • 117 FictionFan April 1, 2015 at 20:42

        They might make playing guitar a shade more tricky… That’s so mean!!! Yucketh!

        I think so – you want to look smart for the dancing…

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2015 at 12:56

        Definitely. Way more tricky. I’ll just be a football player, I think. *laughing* But you deserved it!

        A bloody sword is smart!

      • 119 FictionFan April 2, 2015 at 16:19

        No! No!!! NO!!! I refuse to watch hours of football vids – stick to guitar! *sticks out tongue and makes Kenny noise*

        Yes, dear, whatever you say! *chuckles*

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2015 at 12:54

        Yeah, that might get boring. But, look, you didn’t know you liked classical guitar till recently. *laughing* That’s a lovely picture right there.

        Quite right. A bloody sword means I’ve killed an enemy.

      • 121 FictionFan April 3, 2015 at 16:39

        I did! I just didn’t know I liked it as much as I do!

        Ooh, I hope so! It would be awful to think you’d tripped over it and cut yourself!

      • 122 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2015 at 22:36

        You did? *very proud of FEF* I’m glad you dig it, for sure.

        *laughs* How horrid! I’d have to hide for a month if I did that.

  13. 123 walt walker March 23, 2015 at 13:44

    I fear there is more to come, and that it will be dreadful.

    • 124 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2015 at 20:28

      *nods* A fistfight. And…Sandra will probably take her derringer out.

  14. 125 Susan P March 23, 2015 at 13:40

    Uh hu. Why does the Professor always leave when the fun is about to begin? Splendid library, btw. It’s one of those in which anything can and often does happen. You would do well to keep alert.

    • 126 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2015 at 20:27

      Do you suppose they have black rats running about there?

      I left…’cause there was about to be a battle. Wouldn’t you leave?

  15. 127 L. Marie March 23, 2015 at 13:26

    Warts and Popcorn! Why didn’t you stay to watch the fight? You could have told us who won, unless you’re planning on reporting about that later. And when did you get on Sandra’s bad side? I thought she rather liked you, at least as a friend. Or is it Shaun Divine’s influence that makes her want you to go away? She seems like a flibbertigibbet.

    • 128 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2015 at 20:26

      *laughs* Lovely PA! Well…what if the fight got brutal? Would you really want to watch that? Sandra must be head over heels with this Shaun chap. *shakes head* Wait till DS hears about this!

      She is a flibbertigibbet! Love that word.

      • 129 L. Marie March 23, 2015 at 21:37

        Yes, I would love to know more about the fight and perhaps Sandra’s reaction. Unless she joins in.

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 12:15

        Well, okay, then! Sandra will probably get a bit vicious, but I doubt she’d fight.

  16. 131 masgautsen March 23, 2015 at 13:06

    That is a lovely library!

    • 132 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2015 at 20:25

      Thank you! I do wish I could go there and read.

      • 133 masgautsen March 23, 2015 at 20:48

        Me too! That would be really awsome

      • 134 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 12:13

        What would you do in there? I think I’d sit and think.

      • 135 masgautsen March 24, 2015 at 12:14

        I’d find a book and read or sit there pondering my next blog post…

      • 136 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 12:25

        Oh yes, I’m sure you’d love that sort of thing. Would you have some tea? I might.

      • 137 masgautsen March 24, 2015 at 12:43

        I’d prefere a good cup of coffee, but tea would be nice too.

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 20:01

        Do you like Hazel Nut coffee?

      • 139 masgautsen March 25, 2015 at 03:51

        No, I prefere my coffee black :)

      • 140 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2015 at 11:55

        Goodness me! You know, the professor isn’t a coffee drinker, but the first cup I had was black…and it was strong!

      • 141 masgautsen March 25, 2015 at 11:59

        Just the way I like it :D

      • 142 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2015 at 20:37

        I should have shipped it to you, I’m thinking. Rats!

  17. 143 erinkenobi2893 March 23, 2015 at 12:53

    Ohhh! I wish I could go to your library. It looks magnificent.
    And Sandra should not have giggled. It’s improper. And sounds odd. Girls mostly giggle only when they’re being stupid.
    I’m cheering for Ruber, too. Sorry I’ve been away. Various things came to my attention. Also, I became a superhero.

    • 144 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2015 at 20:25

      Erin! How’ve you been? I’ve been being a very nice Sith.

      *laughing* So! You’re against giggling, too. That’s good to know.

      A superhero? How did this happen?

      • 145 erinkenobi2893 March 24, 2015 at 12:58

        I’ve been doing fairly well. You know, running damage control. Winter has been unconsciously using magic, which could rip the foundations of his world apart, and Elian’s been world-jumping and she’s not even sixteen yet! She’s not supposed to even be traveling alone in most of those worlds! *sigh*
        This is how it happened: Read from the first post. (Rosalie’s probably going to be irritated with me for posting the link, but I think this is too exciting not to share!)
        https://theteenagedsuperherosociety.wordpress.com/

      • 146 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 20:03

        Wow! Now that sounds busy. I shall take a look. Oh, Rosalie! She needs to embrace some Sith stuff.

      • 147 erinkenobi2893 March 26, 2015 at 01:13

        It is… very busy indeed. But I got some nice rest last night… I found myself snuggling up to Bucky with Steve up against my back when I woke up this morning. It was heaven. They’re both so very warm… *happy sigh*
        Don’t propose that to her, please! She’ll kill me! 0_0

      • 148 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 11:56

        Yeah, I’m sure she’d get very cranky. Bucky and Steve are great chaps overall.

      • 149 erinkenobi2893 March 26, 2015 at 11:57

        Indeed… So please, avoid the subject…
        Yes, they are.

      • 150 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 12:06

        Oh, rats.

      • 151 erinkenobi2893 March 26, 2015 at 12:20

        I will be very grateful for your consideration… :-3

      • 152 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 20:18

        Erin face: -_-

      • 153 erinkenobi2893 March 27, 2015 at 13:42

        Actually, technically, that’s a non-impressed and ambivalent face, not my face. :-P My real face looks more like this: :~3 Only the tilde is backwards and very pronounced cheekbones which are impossible to add. :-P

      • 154 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2015 at 13:54

        And if you were a Sith, you’d have very black hair.

      • 155 erinkenobi2893 March 29, 2015 at 23:57

        …okay? (My hair is darkish auburn, by the way. And really curly. Do you think it would stop being so annoyingly curly if I turned to the Dark Side? :-P )

      • 156 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2015 at 12:14

        I think it’s a possibility. But, hey, curly hair is nice.

      • 157 erinkenobi2893 March 30, 2015 at 12:30

        Thanks :-)

  18. 158 PorterGirl March 23, 2015 at 12:10

    What a super library! And a very exciting one. But how is it that Sandra and Shaun are at liberty to giggle and converse but you are not? That is dadblamery if ever I saw it. Now, the librarian is absolutely delightful. Those stilts must come in handy for reaching high-up books. She sounds fascinating and I would like to make her a cup of tea, I think.
    A fight! Hurrah. I hope Ruber wins.

    • 159 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2015 at 20:24

      I know…doesn’t seem fair, does it? Someone is being sexist, don’t you think? I think so. But would you like to listen to one of her speeches? *shudders*

      Not Divine?

      • 160 PorterGirl March 23, 2015 at 21:29

        There is certainly an act of prejudice at play. Maybe they are Professorist?
        Maybe not a full speech. But I would listen to a little bit and then make my excuses. Or pretend to faint.
        Ruber feels almost like a brother to me and besides – he is a chef! Save the chefs!

      • 161 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 12:14

        Pretend to faint? *laughing* I love that. If only I could try such a thing! Maybe I should. Yes, professorist! We must coin this term. I bet it exists. In fact, I’m certain of it.

        For sure! I think he is your brother of sorts.

      • 162 PorterGirl March 24, 2015 at 13:01

        You should try it, but be careful not to damage your top hat as you fall. A professorist is surely the most awful of narrow-minded people of all. It is now officially an exisiting term!
        Yes, I am sure he is. I was nearly adopted by DS, anyway. Well, I wanted to be and that counts as good enough.

      • 163 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2015 at 20:06

        Yes! I will, definitely. Maybe I”ll just hand you my TH first. For safe keeping. Great! I’m glad it exists now. We have something to blame everything on the sudden.

        Well, when you come for the adventure, we can go and see him!

      • 164 PorterGirl March 24, 2015 at 20:44

        I shall guard it with my life, Professor! Or, Head Porter’s life, at least.
        Isn’t brilliant when things suddenly exist?
        Yes please! That would be super *starts packing bags*

      • 165 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2015 at 11:44

        *laughs* Poor HP! But I think he might take to it.

        It is! Like what happens to frogs, for example.

        Make sure to bring your baton.

      • 166 PorterGirl March 25, 2015 at 12:19

        HP would be happy enough, he wouldn’t mind exchanging his life for the safety of your top hat.
        Just like the frogs. They like existing. If you kiss them you get a prince, now isn’t that a thing? But I think we pondered this already.
        The baton is primed and ready to go!

      • 167 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2015 at 20:38

        *laughs* Sometimes I hide in my TH.

        I think we did. Did we ever ponder what animal needs kissed to get a princess? Now that’s the question of life.

        Nice! *gets his out*

      • 168 PorterGirl March 26, 2015 at 06:12

        I do not think we ever did ponder that! Princesses are sparkly and shiny.. so maybe a rainbow trout? Kiss one and see what happens.
        Hurrah!

      • 169 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 12:03

        *Laughing lots* A trout! Imagine girls turning into that. I’ll bring one for you to kiss. That seems fair.

      • 170 PorterGirl March 26, 2015 at 12:21

        Pah! I shouldn’t think I would like to kiss that. But then, some might say that I have kissed worse.

      • 171 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2015 at 20:19

        *laughing lots* Oh, have you? An intense interest!

      • 172 PorterGirl March 27, 2015 at 07:13

        *shudders* an interest best forgotten I should say. I shall stick to frogs, maybe *laughs*

      • 173 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2015 at 13:03

        *laughing too* Frogs! Yucketh.


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