Most every notable adventure begins with someone searching for something. Most every notable adventure ends with someone searching for something, too. ~ Mr. Magi
Things usually begin at the beginning. If this wasn’t true, they would begin at the end, and end at the beginning. ~ V. Shnodgrate
Ruber Salami shrugged. “I’ve got no clue, eh? Should I?”
Sandra Salami—Ruber’s semi-sister (she was adopted, see; maybe Ruber was, too)—raised one eyebrow. “Really, Ruber?” she asked. “You should know.”
Ruber leaned back into his chair, put his boots on the table, and sipped his wine. “I don’t give a togoggin.”
See, this was all taking place at a little food place not far from Prince Beef’s palace. (Yes, there was a party tonight, but I wasn’t invited.)
Ruber and Sandra were sitting at a table off to the side, debating. And maybe this professor was dropping the leaves.
As soon as Ruber’s boots hit the table, Sandra pushed them off. “Keep your boots on the floor!” she snapped. Sternly too.
“What’s wrong with you, eh?”
“You should care!”
“But it’s your family!”
Ruber threw his arms up in the air. “Maybe I was adopted too, eh? But whatever. I don’t want to know who my mother is—even if I wasn’t adopted.”
Sandra was quiet for a moment. “Maybe you were adopted, too…but you yourself told me that you remember a “mother figure.” We must find her.”
And that’s when this professor stepped in—with a flourish of his white suit.
Now, the problem was this: I stepped in as soon as another person stepped in.
We collided, hit the floor, and I was a bit gardoobled.
“Oh my goodness!” Sandra said, jumping to her feet. “Are you two okay?”
By this time, the haze had cleared, the stars had vanished, and the professor could see again. I fear I had knocked a lady to the ground. Dadblameit! She did sorta run into me, though. And she had blond hair, and I had knocked her hat off.
Then Sandra gasped. “Oh, professor!” she said. “I didn’t recognize you. And Lucy!” She turned her attention to the lady I’d knocked down. “Are you alright?!”
“I am fine, which is more than can be said for my hat!”
Oh, stinkpots. It was obvious these two ladies knew each other. This professor cast a glance towards Lucy’s hat. It was…crumpled.
The professor stood, and I didn’t dust myself off, since I wasn’t dusty. I helped the lady I had knocked down to her feet as well.
“That’s one way to make yourself known, I suppose,” she said. “As if the suit wasn’t dazzling enough!”
“Oh dear me…” I began.
“You two,” Ruber interrupted, “are the clumsiest people I’ve ever seen.”
And Lucy fired right back: “And you might just be the strangest, dear chap, but I would be far too polite to mention it.”
I laughed. Couldn’t help it, see. I do think that was a direct hit of sorts.
Ruber just scowled.
“Well, excuse me a few times,” I said, breaking the tension. “I’m going to head back out onto the road.” I stopped the sudden. “I mean, I’m going to leave this establishment. Yes, that’s what I was going for.”
And I was about to leave…but Sandra stopped me.
“Hold on, professor,” she said. “I’ve got a problem.”
The professor looked at Ruber.
“Now, you know,” Sandra continued, “that Daddy Salami adopted me. I’m curious to know who my mother is. Who Ruber’s mother is. Since he’s my brother now and all.”
That was a shock to this professor. “Are you sure you want to know where he came from?”
Sandra shot me a stern look. “Yes.”
“Maybe I was adopted too?” Ruber suggested. “Why bother? Nobody cares who Daddy Salami married–the beetle.”
“Actually, I am rather interested in the fact,” Lucy began. “I heard Sandra discussing it with Ruber before and my interest was piqued!” Lucy seemed quite excited. “I am an investigator, of sorts, and just happen to be at a bit of a loose end. I thought I might offer my puzzle-solving services. I shall only get up to mischief if I don’t find some way to occupy my time.”
And, of course, Sandra smiled lots. “Oh, Lucy…” she began, and this professor sighed.
Oh dear, see. Adventures always turn into mischief and an adventure was brewing. Besides, would Daddy Salami want us looking for his wife?
A scary thought, if he didn’t.
She continued: “That would be awesome—if you would! Really!!! And I’m going to help, too.”
Then she turned her attention to this professor. “P.VJ, your assistance would be appreciated, too.”
“Say no,” Ruber suggested.
“Listen,” Lucy said. “It strikes me that we chaps should work together on this. There may well be an adventure to be had, what do you say?”
“Now that does sound appealing, I must say,” I said.
But before anything could be decided for sure, Sandra stood and said:
“I’ve something to show you all. And it just might convince you to help.”
Story written by Professor VJ Duke & Lucy Brazier
Copyright: Sometime Now or Never