The Hunt for Ruber’s Mother: The Letter

Letters contain interesting things. That’s why I always try to write letters. ~ Mr. Magi

***

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This professor never liked to look for things.

Overall, I mean.

And this is how one should think on it: If something is hiding so well that one can’t find it, one shouldn’t bother with it anymore; it’s obvious that the something doesn’t want to bother with you, see.

Anyway, I did know that there was no possible way to get Sandra Salami off the hunt for her adoptive mother. So, this professor gave up beforehand—as a precaution.

“This is it,” Sandra said, reaching into her coat pocket and pulling out a folded letter. “This is a letter that should convince you to help!”

She handed it to me. And I repositioned it so both Lucy and I could read its contents.

Ruber, I fear, was still lounging and couldn’t be more disinterested.

This is what it said:

September 28th
Me Diary

Well, turtles, good things happen. And recently, somethin’ really nice happened, hehaha. I left me wife and fleded away. That’s right: I ran, and you would too…if you had to deal with her.

Daddy Salami

I must confess: I was a bit disappointed.

“That’s all?” I asked.

“Interesting,” said Lucy, nodding. “I particularly like the way he writes in his laugh. That should tell you something.”

“That is an interest,” I said. “Imagine writing in your laugh!”

Sandra nodded. “But do you two see what it means?

“Salami is scared of his wife!” Lucy exclaimed.

And Sandra jumped on that. “Exactly!” she said.

“And this means what–overall?” the professor asked. “I’m not sure.”

Sandra shrugged. “Well…if we can find my mother…I bet she’d keep Salami under control and quite behaved!”

Ruber started laughing. “Fat chance, that. Yeah right.”

Sandra ignored him. “So…”

Now this was a good thing. See, if we could find someone who would deal with Daddy Salami…well, that was a good thing. Plus, an adventure is an adventure. The professor was game.

Sandra and Lucy were staring at me.

I nodded. “I think I’ll agree to do this thing.”

“That’s a yes, then, is it?” Lucy asked, smiling.

Sandra nodded. “Yes…was it?”

I nodded. “Yes, it was, and it was a yes. Yes.”

“Perfect!” Sandra said. “Now, one thing: We should not tell Daddy Salami what we’re up to. He might get in the way.”

“Agreed,” I said.

“Discretion is my middle name!” Lucy announced.

“Is it really?” this professor asked. “Now there’s a thing or a few.”

Lucy Discretion… That’s an interest of a middle name, you must admit.

“First mission,” Sandra said. “You two must go to Dr. Zauberer’s castle in Austria.”

“The one in the black woods?” I asked.

“Yes, of course,” Sandra said. “There is no other.”

I turned to Lucy. “You don’t want to go there. It’s too dark and scary!”

“Oh, it sounds perfect,” replied Lucy. “I laugh in the face of the dark and tweak the nose of scary.”

Now that was impressive. Tweak the nose. We should all do that to the gentleman down the corner.

“Once there,” Sandra continued, “question Dr. Zauberer on the matter. He might have a few leads.”

“What are you going to do?” Lucy asked.

And it was a good question. I was wondering that, too, you know.

“I have something I have to look into here,” Sandra replied. “But we’ll be in contact, and we’ll meet up soon.”

“As long as you don’t get into mischief,” Lucy said, eyes narrowing. “Mischief is my department. Do be careful, my dear Sandra.”

And we were off to Dr. Zauberer’s castle.

The adventure had begun.

Story written by Professor VJ Duke & Lucy Brazier

Copyright: When the grass is fresh

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90 Responses to “The Hunt for Ruber’s Mother: The Letter”


  1. 1 Jackie April 16, 2015 at 11:01

    This is not going to end well.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2015 at 11:56

      Should we quit do you suppose?

      • 3 Jackie April 16, 2015 at 12:09

        No way – keep going!

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2015 at 01:20

        That’s the spirit! It will be an interest, you know.

  2. 5 Warrior April 15, 2015 at 22:16

    Is this in anyway related to The Hunt For the Red October?

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2015 at 11:51

      I’m not sure. Do you suppose I look like Alec or Sean?

  3. 7 Lady Cheetah7 April 15, 2015 at 21:13

    This is going to be interesting. Looking forward to the next installment.

    • 8 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2015 at 11:50

      Thank you, Lady. I know you like DS lots.

      • 9 Lady Cheetah7 April 16, 2015 at 12:03

        He is a child abuser and the Punchy Lands Department of Protective Child Services should have taken his kids away a long time ago.

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2015 at 01:19

        *Laughing* Well…he just needs some therapy.

  4. 11 The Lite Rider April 15, 2015 at 18:08

    Just what I needed today. I LOVE how DS wrote in his laugh. I could just hear it. However …… sense of adventure aside, by all means if DS’s mom were found things could get interesting. One wonders how DS might act with mother around!

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2015 at 11:49

      You know, he’d probably behave a bit. I hope! Or he might get real cranky. I need to do some audio stuff again.

  5. 13 Simply Skeptical April 15, 2015 at 16:01

    The castle! The mysterious and dark one? Oh, do reconsider unforgettable things occur there. I can’t be specific since I can’t remember exactly what, but it’s not good. PLUS Daddy Salami cannot be controlled. It’s just bad juju to back him into a corner…

    • 14 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2015 at 17:15

      *laughing* You do have a point, SS. (You’re score: 1.) But…we have to go! I mean…who wouldn’t go in a dark castle given the opportunity?

  6. 15 Angeline M April 15, 2015 at 15:52

    I would not trust Sandra left behind on her own. My intuition tells me she is going to create a ruckus of some kind…tip the Salami off on what’s afoot maybe? In whatever case is the case this sounds like it will be a good story.

    • 16 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2015 at 17:14

      No! Do you suppose? It’s possible. And she might…but why would she do that? Dear me. Do you suppose this is a trap?

      • 17 Angeline M April 16, 2015 at 00:16

        One never knows in TPL

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2015 at 11:55

        Does one ever now about the professor?

      • 19 Angeline M April 16, 2015 at 14:12

        It seems not, sigh.

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2015 at 01:27

        *laughs* That’s because I’m such an enigma!

  7. 21 desertdweller29 April 15, 2015 at 15:50

    I, too, particularly like the way Daddy Salami writes in his laugh. Hahaha. I tend to do the same.

    • 22 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2015 at 17:14

      You know, I should start doing this instead of using these *laughs*. But I don’t know. I wonder how you could right *jumping* into a dialogue.

      • 23 desertdweller29 April 15, 2015 at 18:10

        No, no, Professor! I quite like your *laughs* and *laughing lots*. It’s much more professorish and jovial. Writing in the hahaha is more of an evil mastermind laugh, or perhaps a cackle. It suit Daddy Salami perfectly however. I tend to laugh at my own jokes so I’m well versed in this subtlety, you see… *laughing lots*

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2015 at 11:49

        *laughing lots* DD! Always giving yourself a bad rap. Tell you what! You must stop it…or…I’ll poke you with a cactus!

  8. 25 Debbie April 15, 2015 at 14:41

    This promises to be an excellent adventure (though I’m inclined to agree that something — or someone — that doesn’t want to be found probably ought to remain hidden). Careful what you two stir up, Professor!

    I’m wondering what Sandra has planned for while you’re gone. Is she going to enlist Ruber’s help? Is she going to do some sleuthing of her own? Gee, so many questions! But now that you and Lucy have teased us with this mystery, we’re hooked and ready for your adventure!

    • 26 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2015 at 17:13

      I know! Do you suppose DS will be very very cranky about the whole proceedings?

      Well…Lucy mentioned that she thinks Sandra might waste time and do nothing…I hope not! Wouldn’t that be an act of betrayal?

  9. 27 FictionFan April 15, 2015 at 14:34

    Tut, tut! Sandra reading the Sausage’s private diary? Is her middle name Snoopy?

    • 28 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2015 at 17:12

      Oh come on! Who could resist? For instance, consider the following scenario: You’re creeping around and you find a diary that has DS’s name on it! Would you open it a bit? Of course! I think I would. I’d turn towards the end.

  10. 29 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 15, 2015 at 14:08

    Letters are nice, Mr. Magi. I agree. And I agree with you, Duketh. Something too hidden does not want to be found.

    I surely hope everyone packs well! Check the weather. I feel sad for Sandra. I hope you’re nice to her, Duke.

    • 30 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2015 at 17:12

      Right! So, why look for it? Unless, it’s a cherry. I thought you’d like Mr. Magi’s thoughts there.

      Me? Well…aren’t I being nice to her? I’m not sure what the weather will be like in Austria. I’ll take a hoody.

      • 31 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 15, 2015 at 22:45

        You look for it because it never leaves your mind, so in order to figure it out and end it, one must discover whatever it is rattling around, then you choose to release it or put it on a leash. Cherries are not worth the valuable time needed for such adventures. Why did you think so? Because I like everything he says, I suppose.

        Yes, you’re being nice so far. When DS shows up and messes with everyone’s plan…continue to be nice to her, I think. Seems risky to dig ole mother dear up. Yes, your hoody should work for starters. *tosses you some toe warmers and a beanie*

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2015 at 11:55

        That’s a good point. Are you looking for something at the minute?

        A beanie! I’ll take that. Well, if DS gets cranky… *takes the 1911 out*

      • 33 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 16, 2015 at 19:40

        What do you mean? Turns around?

        *shocked face* Be careful with it and good luck…

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2015 at 01:34

        Well…I was just wondering if you were about searching for something. Like a golden coin, or something like that. Maybe even a Pats cap. *sighs* Have I confused you?

        Would you like a go at it?

      • 35 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 20, 2015 at 03:47

        Searching for something? Me? Coins and caps…I don’t need any of those. *eyes darting* Maybe…

        Yes, hand it over.

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke April 20, 2015 at 23:00

        Hmm…how about a fishing hook?

        *hands it over*

      • 37 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 21, 2015 at 03:50

        Are we going fishing?

        *unloads it on a tin can*

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke April 22, 2015 at 14:45

        I’m not sure how to, but here’s the hook anyway.

        Wow! *impressed*

      • 39 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 22, 2015 at 22:00

        Why do you have a hook?

        *blows smoke off the end of the barrel*

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2015 at 16:16

        I’m not sure. I found it.

        Now that’s spicy, madam.

      • 41 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 24, 2015 at 21:26

        Oh. Why do you keep it in your ear?

        *raises eyebrows quickly* I know.

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2015 at 20:18

        I don’t! No earrings here.

        *laughs* Cool!

      • 43 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 27, 2015 at 02:28

        *laughs so much* I’m thankful for that, Sir.

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2015 at 20:39

        Earrings are for girls and cows. I seem them with earrings at times, you know.

      • 45 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 29, 2015 at 01:52

        Umm…tis true. Agreed. Yes, funny how cows have number names.

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2015 at 19:28

        And hooves.

      • 47 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 29, 2015 at 21:56

        Yucketh. You’re doing the hooves.

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2015 at 12:58

        Won’t touch them!

      • 49 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 30, 2015 at 19:40

        Me either…there was a time I would have, but now I’m far too girly, I think. Naw. Hand’em over.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2015 at 18:04

        *gives Audith a Pats hat*

      • 51 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 1, 2015 at 20:36

        *sparkles* Puts it on your head.

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2015 at 18:35

        But it’s for you!

      • 53 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 3, 2015 at 20:10

        For me!! Duketh, you got me a Pats hat? You’re evil. You know I can’t say no to you. What color is it?

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke May 4, 2015 at 19:54

        Blue!

      • 55 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 4, 2015 at 22:26

        Dark blue or light blue?

  11. 56 masgautsen April 15, 2015 at 13:57

    Oh, this is so exciting! The adventure has begun.

    • 57 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2015 at 17:09

      It sure has! Would you like to dig the tunnel for us?

      • 58 masgautsen April 15, 2015 at 17:27

        Do you have a spade?

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2015 at 11:48

        Basically…? The handle is a bit weak. Would you mind that, though?

      • 60 masgautsen April 16, 2015 at 12:04

        I wouldn’t but I have a feeling my hands and back might

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2015 at 01:20

        *nods* It is rather hard. Tell you what, I’ll bring you a red energy drink!

  12. 62 L. Marie April 15, 2015 at 13:45

    A fine start to the adventure. And what a respectable middle name: Lucy Discretion. That means Lucy can be trusted!
    Glad you decided to go along, Professor. I hope you won’t run into too much danger, though I suspect you will.
    I can’t help wondering what sort of woman would marry Daddy Salami.

    • 63 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2015 at 17:09

      Do you suppose she’s a mean woman? Or sweet? It could go either way. Personally, I think she’ll have a fine attitude.

      • 64 L. Marie April 15, 2015 at 17:14

        I think she’ll be creepy in some way. Perhaps she has a fiendish laugh as well. I suspect she’s eccentric. After all, she married Daddy Salami.

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2015 at 17:16

        True. And I wonder if DS is really scared of her. You know, I have a hard time imagining that he’s scared of anything.

  13. 66 walt walker April 15, 2015 at 13:45

    To Austria! Now how are you getting there, I wonder? By train? Wagon? Zeppelin? Personally, I would tunnel my way through. So I don’t have to see the dark and scary forest, see.

    • 67 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2015 at 17:08

      *laughs* I like the idea of a Zeppelin…but…I’m not sure…let me see…digging is cool. Would be the digger, please? Shovels do not like me much.

      • 68 walt walker April 15, 2015 at 18:03

        How about a sandworm type of thingy? They might make a nice tunnel. Maybe one big enough to fly the Zeppelin through.

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2015 at 11:48

        Wouldn’t that be neatio? We’d be the first to tunnel with a Zeppelin. About those worms, how much would you charge to catch one?

      • 70 walt walker April 16, 2015 at 11:51

        4 bushels of wheat per 100 feet of tunnel.

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2015 at 11:57

        Okay. that sounds like a deal. But one must wonder: whatever will you do with all that wheat?

  14. 72 PorterGirl April 15, 2015 at 11:49

    And the adventure is afoot! This is most exciting. And… my middle name suits me, don’t you think? I hope Sandra is actually going to do something useful and not just sit around eating muffins whilst we put in all the hard work – pah!

    • 73 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2015 at 17:05

      I do! And it does suit you. It’s a great middle name. I might steal it.

      For sure! If she does that…why…we’ll have to get revenge!

      • 74 PorterGirl April 15, 2015 at 18:27

        Well thank you kindly. Perhaps he could share it as I might be rather lost without it, now. Although I could maybe pick another one like… Archie!
        Indeed! Bit I am sure her intentions are good. they had better be *laughs*

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2015 at 11:50

        *Laughing too much* Archie! I love that name to many deaths. I might steal that one now!

        Well, if she does that…we’ll..sick DS on her!

      • 76 PorterGirl April 16, 2015 at 11:53

        If you steal all of names I shall be left with none! I should pick one that you hate, instead. How about… Gunther? Now, you wouldn’t want that one, would you? *laughing lots*
        That is the ultimate punishment! *shudders*

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2015 at 11:58

        I know. I’m such a little thief. But, yes, I do like that one–lots!! Tell you what, I’ll just leave you with all the names; otherwise, I think you might sick Terry on me.

        *nods* It would be horrid.

      • 78 PorterGirl April 16, 2015 at 13:14

        We could possibly go halves with the names – you take the first bit, I shall take the second, that seems most fair. *laughs* Terry would probably take a liking to you and curl up for a sleep on your lap! Worse – I shall have speaks with The Amazing Pants! *laughing lots and lots*

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2015 at 01:27

        Not the pants! Bet Terry wouldn’t curl up on those! He might rip at them. I think I’d bring Terry a few treats or something like that, you know. Just so we could be buds.

      • 80 PorterGirl April 17, 2015 at 05:13

        Terry would hunt them down, for sure. I have to keep them apart so that they don’t fight. I imagine you two would be best of buds in no time. You are both warriors who love mischief, after all!

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke April 19, 2015 at 20:41

        You know, I think you’re right. But I’m something of a rat. That might not fit too well with Mr. Terry.

      • 82 PorterGirl April 20, 2015 at 05:59

        *laughing* But I am sure you are not! Tell him you are an orc, that will impress him.

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke April 20, 2015 at 23:00

        Yes! That big pale orc. That’s exactly what I’m like.

      • 84 PorterGirl April 21, 2015 at 05:09

        Terry is fond of orcs, that one in particular.

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke April 22, 2015 at 14:47

        Very good! We’d get on just well. In fact, I might steal him for our return trip!

      • 86 PorterGirl April 22, 2015 at 14:58

        *shocked face* Stealing Terry, oh my! But he would love the adventure. And I would come too. So infact, it sounds like a brilliant idea!

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2015 at 16:04

        *laughing* Then I definitely have to steal him! Do give him a heads-up, though.

      • 88 PorterGirl April 24, 2015 at 16:28

        *laughing lots* I shall let him know. I think he is looking forward to it already!

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2015 at 20:14

        I’m forever indebted to you, madam!

      • 90 PorterGirl April 27, 2015 at 04:58

        *grins bigly*


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