I’m scared of my family: Not only do they judge the harshest, they’re always wrong. ~ V. Shnodgrate
The fellow across from me was the sort of fellow that you shouldn’t have speaks with.
But I did anyway.
What’s the worst that could happen, see?
“So,” I began. “Good to meet you, the sudden.”
He looked up from that square device in his hands. “Umm…you too.”
Then he looked back down. This would be hardly hard. And maybe hardly worth it.
“Look here,” I began. “Are you having speaks with someone?”
“Uhh…” He glanced up for a second, then smiled shyly. “I’m texting with my girlfriend.”
“Oh. What’s she saying?”
He shot me a look.
“Not your business!”
“Quite right,” this professor said. “But if that was the case I don’t know why you started talking to me.”
“Haha, you started talking to me first.”
“Really? I can’t recall. But that’s because I’ve got a bad memory. You’ll understand when you get my age.”
He looked me up and down. Must’ve liked the shoes, I suspect.
“I’m already your age, or older.”
“Can’t be true,” I said. “If you were my age, you wouldn’t have a girlfriend, you’d have a wife.”
I didn’t mean anything by it, but this fellow instantly supposed I did.
“Would you just leave me alone? We’ve been dating for some time is all.”
“Do you have any cousins?” I asked.
Sometimes, changing the subject is like starting afresh. Sometimes. Not in this case, apparently.
He still wasn’t looking at me.
“I’ve got two uncles younger than myself, I think. And I just saw them, too, at a water balloon get together.”
Now the professor wasn’t lying, but that definitely fetched this fellow.
He just laughed—would you believe!
“Dude,” he said, “families can be strange. Just last week my sister wanted to date a tree.”
The professor did the only thing possible:
I stood and left.