The Hunt for Ruber’s Mother: Socializing at the Party

Last time I partook of a bad fare, I was at a party. ~ V. Shnodgrate

***

Screen Shot 2015-04-02 at 1.17.01 PM

So, Dr. Zauberer’s party was the biggest party this professor had ever laid his eyes on.

People everywhere.

Even in the cabinets, I supposed.

Now, I should mention something here: I was wearing some professorish sunglasses. Why? I’m not sure. It was a cloudy, rainy evening.

But everyone should always wear sunglasses. That way, people won’t know if you’re sleeping or not.

Anyways and a few, Dr. Zauberer—who had brought us into the party—was disappeared, and standing in front of Lucy and I was none other than Fats Henry—most notorious for his bad behavior and sweetly horrid disposition.

He had a cup of punch in his hand. And it was foaming white. The punch itself was yellow. Picture this. Bet you can’t!

“P.VJ,” Fats Henry boomed.

He’s never silent.

“Who’s she?” he said, indicating Lucy.

A brazen fellow overall, you see.

“Now, Mr. Henry—” I began.

But Lucy cut me off.

“Call me Lucy,” she said. “And what should I call you? I could think of something, if pushed.”

Henry started to laugh.

And the ground began to shake.

“Hey, dude,” and Manly-Man came forward.

Now, Manly-Man isn’t near as big as Fats Henry. (No one is as big as Fats Henry. Just no one.)

“Shut-up,” Henry snapped. “Can’t you see you’re interrupting?”

“He’s right,” said Lucy. “I mean, I cannot say that I object to it, but you are certainly interrupting.”

“No, I isn’t,” Manly-Man said, wrapping his arm around Henry, who began to try to pull it off.

“Get your hand off of me!”

A struggle of sorts ensued.

And that’s when Dr. Zauberer reappeared.

He tapped Lucy on the shoulder. “Uhh…madam. I don’t like to be presumptuous, but aren’t you my security? Look at that!”

He was, of course, pointing to Fats Henry and Manly-Man, who now looked as if they were doing some sort of old-fashioned jig in the middle of the ballroom. A crowd had formed.

“Yes, um, well spotted. I’ll nip along and have a peek.”

And Lucy rushed off.

But this professor had a novel idea. Before, Lucy reached the mean-dancers (they’d strayed out into the floor a bit) this professor turned, grabbed the punch bowl, and threw it’s contents across the room.

It was a direct hit.

The dancing stopped.

“Why YOU!” Henry roared.

And Henry was this close to charging. This close just means very close.

But Mr. Ratherquite stepped in.

“Sir,” he began.

He was giving a speech. Acting.

“We are to socialize at parties, not make war! Amend your ways.”

Surprisingly, it worked.

The party got back underway.

“My dear professor, that was an unusual thing to do!” exclaimed Lucy, almost cross. “And look, the floor is all sticky over there, now.”

“I couldn’t help it,” I replied. “The punch looked dreadful. It was foaming white, you know!”

Dr. Zauberer shook his head. “I’m off to congratulate Mr. Ratherquite for being excellent security. You two!”

And he left.

I looked at Lucy, and I was feeling bad, I must admit. “Let’s question Dr. Zauberer, and then get out of here! This party is way too bigly big.”

“I concur,” replied Lucy. “And there are far too many security issues, in my opinion.”

Story written by Professor VJ Duke & Lucy Brazier

Copyright: Now

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115 Responses to “The Hunt for Ruber’s Mother: Socializing at the Party”


  1. 1 walt walker May 7, 2015 at 00:35

    Made the ground quake with his laugh, eh? Now that is something!

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 19:00

      That is. Isn’t that a power you wished you had? People would bow when you were laughing. Imagine!

  2. 3 Lisa May 6, 2015 at 19:48

    I don’t think I want to be around Fats Henry. He seems kinda scary.

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 19:00

      Not even for a dance? He might be the dancing type, you know.

      • 5 Lisa May 7, 2015 at 19:02

        I don’t wanna dance. Maybe I’ll help Lucy with security. Lol

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 19:02

        But, then, what will I do?

      • 7 Lisa May 7, 2015 at 19:03

        We could go irritate Mr. Triangle I guess. :)

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2015 at 18:53

        Pluck his beard or something.

      • 9 Lisa May 10, 2015 at 18:57

        We could fix him one of those drinks and turn him loose.

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2015 at 19:15

        And then cut his ears off.

      • 11 Lisa May 10, 2015 at 21:11

        There’s nothing left for it. I brought paintball guns!!!! :D

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2015 at 19:41

        Give me one!

  3. 13 Lady Dunamis May 6, 2015 at 19:42

    “He was giving a speech. Acting.” Well written and unfortunately for me it was so well written describing Mr. R., that I had a frightening visual…lol

    • 14 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:59

      *laughing* You mean you’d never want to meet Mr. R and give him a what for?

      • 15 Lady Dunamis May 7, 2015 at 20:05

        Ha! I would probably say “what fir” instead of “what for” just to irk his Ratherquite nerves…lol…

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2015 at 18:59

        *laughs* That would start a frenzy right there. Imagine!

  4. 17 Freakishly Fangirlish May 6, 2015 at 19:36

    It’s really sunny where I live, so everyone always wears sunglasses. I have prescription glasses though, so I’m always all squinty. o.O

    • 18 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:59

      *laughs* You get those clipy things…you know the ones that clip on? That’s what I do.

      • 19 Freakishly Fangirlish May 8, 2015 at 23:35

        I think I’ll just hold out for contacts, haha. My mom says I can get them for driver’s ed because i’m so blind, lol. She’s like, what if they get knocked off while you’re driving?!? :P

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2015 at 19:13

        *laughing* I could never do contacts! They scare me horridly!

      • 21 Freakishly Fangirlish May 11, 2015 at 20:49

        Really? I mean, I guess it is kind of gross, when you think about it… haha, like on Hotel Transylvania. “That’s disgusting!!”

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2015 at 19:51

        *laughs* Yes! It’s just…what if I poke my eye out?

      • 23 Freakishly Fangirlish May 14, 2015 at 17:35

        …then i guess you wouldn’t need contacts any more!! :P

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke May 15, 2015 at 15:54

        *laughing* How horrid of you! Neat picture you have there, too.

  5. 25 L. Marie May 6, 2015 at 19:29

    Mr. Ratherquite was useful! That has to be a first!
    I do love a party that is bigly big, rather than smally small.
    I hope Fats Henry and Manly-Man brought a change of clothing, since they are undoubtedly covered with punch. (The punch sounds dreadful, as you commented.)

    • 26 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:59

      But then again…I might be tempted to try the punch, but I won’t. I bet worms live in it.

      He was! He calmed the party storm, imagine! The ladies probably put him up to it.

  6. 27 Simply Skeptical May 6, 2015 at 18:38

    Bigly Big!? Stay away from those kind simply for that reason. Good decision team.

    • 28 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:58

      I think he might have smushed me.

  7. 29 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 6, 2015 at 18:29

    Umm, why are you always tossing beverages about, Duketh? I feel for Lucy. You’re going to ruin her good name keeping these shenanigans going. A good security official wouldn’t be so easily distracted, which tells me you do need MM. Lovely to see him about again, you know. *smiles* Poor Momma may never be found. You two are too busy partying and upsetting “fatter than you people”. Get to work. *wink*
    This proverb of yours is sketchy.

    • 30 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:57

      Well, it’s dadblame fun to throw things! I bet Mr. Warrior would have a go at it. But…yes…the sudden, I do feel a bit bad, I must admit. After all, see, Lucy was probably going to take care of it. Will you apologize to her for me? That’d be awesome. We’ll find her! Even if it takes a million years…

      It is?!

      • 31 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 7, 2015 at 21:44

        I pity the fool who has to clean up your messes. If Mr. Warrior was left in your care…he would resort to throwing things. You are a bad influence, Sir. Yes, Lucy will fix it, I bet. No. I will not apologize for you. A million years…wow. You guys really must enjoy each other’s company.

        *nods*

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2015 at 19:02

        Well, everyone wants to throw things. Don’t you like to throw things that you see all the time? Like a pear in a store, for instance.

      • 33 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 10, 2015 at 23:18

        I like to throw rocks, mostly. I’ve never had an urge to throw a pear. I hate them. I wouldn’t touch one. Ever. The texture is all sorts of wrong on those fruits. Did you throw a pear at the store, Duke?

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2015 at 19:42

        Nah, I should’ve! Pears are okay. A bit sticky.

      • 35 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 14, 2015 at 02:48

        I’m glad you’re sticking up for the pear
        Very kind of you.

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke May 15, 2015 at 15:48

        I must make you eat one.

      • 37 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 15, 2015 at 22:24

        You would have to tie me up and force me to eat it, you know.

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke May 16, 2015 at 18:25

        Well, I wouldn’t do that. Have a gumdrop instead.

      • 39 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 17, 2015 at 15:58

        Don’t like those either. *laughs*

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke May 18, 2015 at 21:44

        Picky!

  8. 41 Louis from VA May 6, 2015 at 17:13

    Well I’ve got to say I’ve more respect for Mr. Ratherquite than I did before.

    • 42 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:55

      Really? I was thinking of slugging him down then kicking his eyes out!!

      • 43 Louis from VA May 10, 2015 at 19:22

        XD He had a point though. I thought his choice of words was neat. “Amend your ways!”

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2015 at 19:31

        *laughs* He’s always having neat ways to say things.

  9. 45 bardictale May 6, 2015 at 16:17

    Foaming punch? Now, how did he do that?

    • 46 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:55

      Some soap, do you suppose?

      • 47 bardictale May 7, 2015 at 19:01

        Oh, ick!

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 19:02

        Yes, quite awful. See, you would’ve thrown it too.

      • 49 bardictale May 7, 2015 at 19:07

        Indeed I would have. You were very smart in doing so, professor.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2015 at 18:55

        *proud professor face* How about some cherry tea?

      • 51 bardictale May 11, 2015 at 09:35

        Yes please!

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2015 at 19:43

        *hands Bard a cup*

      • 53 bardictale May 14, 2015 at 07:13

        *hands the professor a cookie* thank you, sir!

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke May 15, 2015 at 15:53

        And thank you!

  10. 55 desertdweller29 May 6, 2015 at 15:57

    It’s not a party until the first punch is tossed, I say. Well done, Professor.

    • 56 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:53

      *beams proudly* And did you see the arc on that? Like T. Brady the sudden.

  11. 57 John W. Howell May 6, 2015 at 15:47

    It is vexing when a security person has to face security issues. A big bowl of foaming punch can be the best way to solve most problems. Might be just as well to drink it rather than throw it however.

    • 58 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:53

      *nods* Especially if it’s alcoholic. Security is never trained for actually being secure, are they? Or something like that.

      • 59 John W. Howell May 7, 2015 at 20:47

        They are more interested in the ity rather than the secure

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2015 at 19:00

        Perfect way to put it! That’s it entirely.

  12. 61 Debbie May 6, 2015 at 14:24

    Looks like you and Lucy will soon be out of your security job — and probably tossed out of the party on your ears!! Oh, well, it actually sounds pretty dreadful, all that icky yellow punch sticking to the floor (nice, Professor!), far too many party goers, and no food. Failure at finding Ruber’s mother, too. Sigh. Even the presence of MM didn’t help this PL party much, though I was glad to see Mr. R. make an appearance. By the way, where were his ladies — and that sleazy Amelia??!

    • 62 PorterGirl May 6, 2015 at 15:12

      Maybe The Ladies and Amelia took all the food!

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:52

        I may agree with that one. We definitely didn’t get any!

    • 64 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:51

      Amelia! I haven’t even seen her. You know, I think…well, I bet she died! Or…was buried under a canoe. Or attacked by giant japanese hornets!

      I know. Well…where do you suppose I should search? The throwing of the punch was fun, I must admit. Too much fun. Come on, you would’ve done it too!

      • 65 Debbie May 7, 2015 at 19:53

        Nah, I bet she’s too mean to die! Going by way of Japanese hornets sound interesting, though. Do you think it would be quick?

        I can see how much fun you’d have tossing that foamy punch. What was in it to make it foamy like that? Perhaps laundry detergent? In which case, you were actually doing everybody a favor! And yeah, I’d have probably raced you to the punch bowl to see who could be first to toss it!!

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2015 at 18:57

        You do have a point there. I think it’d hurt lots and lots! And…I mean…maybe a few minutes? 20 minutes? Oh dear…that sounds dreadful.

        *laughing* Definitely some soap going on in there! I was doing a service. That makes me feel better. A race! That’d would’ve been terrific.

  13. 67 Susan P May 6, 2015 at 13:53

    May hap the next party should be a tea party. Out of doors. In Shangri-La.

    • 68 Susan P May 6, 2015 at 13:53

      And we still did not find Ruber’s mother. Sheesh.

      • 69 PorterGirl May 6, 2015 at 15:11

        It seems not only are we poor security guards, we are also not very good at hunting mothers. Pah.

      • 70 Susan P May 6, 2015 at 16:47

        That was what I was going to mention next. She wasn’t even mentioned today except in the title.

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:50

        Where do you suppose she is?

      • 72 Susan P May 7, 2015 at 19:05

        I think that perhaps Ruber sent her off into another era,

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2015 at 18:54

        You know, you might have a point overall. I bet you’re right, actually. Oh dear.

      • 74 Susan P May 13, 2015 at 00:25

        He is a dark horse for certain. Give me DS any day before you present me with Ruber.

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2015 at 19:54

        Ruber is his son, though.

      • 76 Susan P May 13, 2015 at 20:48

        And he seems to make hash of poor old DS.

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke May 15, 2015 at 15:45

        Really? And I always thought DS had it over on him.

      • 78 Susan P May 16, 2015 at 21:17

        Sometimes, when you talk about the PL, it’s difficult to discern whom has what over anyone.

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke May 18, 2015 at 21:42

        Yes, you have a stunning point there.

      • 80 Susan P May 19, 2015 at 00:50

        And it has a peculiar property of changing without notice.

    • 81 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:50

      Now where is this Shangri-La?

      • 82 Susan P May 7, 2015 at 19:04

        You will have to ask James Hilton. He knows all about it.

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2015 at 18:53

        He sounds mean.

      • 84 Susan P May 13, 2015 at 00:27

        Who is he? Why do you think he is mean? Is he in cahoots with Amelia? Why are you not answering my questions?

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2015 at 19:55

        Didn’t Amelia die? *laughs about the questions*

      • 86 Susan P May 13, 2015 at 20:48

        She may have but I believe she believes in reincarnation.

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke May 15, 2015 at 15:44

        As a butterfly?

      • 88 Susan P May 16, 2015 at 21:22

        Probably not. More like a gazelle.

  14. 89 masgautsen May 6, 2015 at 13:03

    Doesn’t seem like they are much closer to finding Ruber’s mother. I hope they’ll pick up some leads soon!

    • 90 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member May 6, 2015 at 13:40

      I don’t know that they make the best detectives… (shh)

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:50

        I’m going to throw a rock at you.

    • 92 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:50

      *laughs* I’m sure…they will. I mean…they’re horrid, aren’t they?

      • 93 masgautsen May 7, 2015 at 19:27

        They really are!

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2015 at 18:56

        You should help them!

      • 95 masgautsen May 10, 2015 at 19:12

        I’ll send them positive energy!

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2015 at 19:16

        Please do!

  15. 97 Heartafire May 6, 2015 at 12:59

    I’m highly suspicious of the yellow punch with white foam…(brow furrows).

    • 98 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:49

      *nods* Yepeth…me too. Do you suppose it was poison? Or bug spit?

      • 99 Heartafire May 7, 2015 at 19:59

        I’d go with bug spit, I am an environmentalist…is that a word??

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2015 at 18:57

        Bug spit?! Goodness me. I think it’s a made-up word, the sudden.

      • 101 Heartafire May 10, 2015 at 19:52

        I make up words all the time, it’s what I do.

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2015 at 19:32

        *highfive*

      • 103 Heartafire May 13, 2015 at 19:45

        highfive prof!

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2015 at 19:56

        Don’t you just love high-fives?

      • 105 Heartafire May 13, 2015 at 19:57

        ever so much!

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2015 at 19:59

        Let’s do another!

      • 107 Heartafire May 13, 2015 at 20:00

        high-five to you Professor!

      • 108 Professor VJ Duke May 15, 2015 at 15:41

        And a fist-thiny.

  16. 109 PorterGirl May 6, 2015 at 12:23

    I do love how PL parties always end in a kerfuffle of sorts. Sorry I wasn’t more help, though Professor… *hangs head in shame*

    • 110 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2015 at 18:49

      No, no! It was all my fault, I assure you. I shouldn’t have done it. You had the whole thing under control, too. I ruined it, see.

      • 111 PorterGirl May 7, 2015 at 20:03

        Well, I had managed to ignore the fight. We are bad at security. We are much better at causing the rumpus!

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2015 at 18:59

        That’s where all the fun is! Best security guards do that, see.

      • 113 PorterGirl May 10, 2015 at 19:55

        Ah well – we must be the very best, then!

      • 114 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2015 at 19:39

        And we didn’t even train!

      • 115 PorterGirl May 13, 2015 at 20:09

        *fist thingy*


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