Ripping Book Review: Dune Messiah

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WARNING: Ripping Book Reviews are solely the judgments of Professor VJ Duke on an unlucky book that has caused him much repulsion—in one way or another. Therefore, blame must be put on the professor and nobody else. With that in mind, read on—if you are brave enough to take it.

DUNE MESSIAH by FRANK HERBERT

dune-messiahHere we are at an interest of a book.

Why an interest, you may ask?

Well, the answer is simple: Nothing ever, ever makes sense in this book. Yes, I fear it’s true.

In fact, here is a good rule to go by: If ever you  find yourself in the extremely unlucky position of reading any of the Dune books by Herbert, be prepared for nothing to make sense.

It runs in the series, see.

And what can we expect from a man who would rather sharpen pencils than do most anything else?

“I’ve felt reluctant to write on some days… I’d much rather go fishing, for example, or go sharpen pencils…” — Frank Herbert

What a twerdlit.

Anyways and a few, apparently Frank had some trouble finding a publisher for the first book in the series, Dune.

It was rejected by around 20 publishers (for good reasons, I am quite sure), but the blasted thing managed to get published through Chilton Book Company.

Now the interest about Chilton Book Company is this: They were most famous for publishing auto-repair manuals.

How this works out, I’m not sure, but it’s obvious that Sterling E. Lanier (the editor) was looking for something entirely different in a manuscript.

And he found it in Herbert’s.

Now, Frank devoted all his time to writing in the ’60s. His wife supported him so he could do this.

Herbert said that the idea for Dune came to him one day when he was researching sand dunes for an article he was supposedly supposed to write. To help his wife out a bit, see.

He never finished the article; we got Dune instead.

What’s this tell us? Two things. One, Frank is a lazy shirker. Two, sand dunes fascinated him.

Disturbing really.

Onto the story like greased lightning!

Okay, Dune Messiah is the second book in the Dune series. Paul Muad’Dib (who has way worse problems than his name, believe it or not) has been emperor of Dune for about 12 years.

Now, by choosing to become a messiah to a group of miscreants who live on Dune, Paul has unleashed some sort of jihad that is never really spoken about in much detail.

It’s as if Frank doesn’t know much about it himself.

Has nothing to do directly with sand dunes, see.

Paul is a stupid, I fear. See, he wants to stop the jihad he’s started, because…

…well, it’s killed around 61 billion people.

Wow! That’s like wiping out–completely, mind you–the populations of around 8 to 9 earths.

Paul is a hazard, in truth. A danger to…planets.

He and his cronies even brag about it.

Paul says: “There’s another emperor I want you to note in passing–a Hitler. He killed more than six million. Pretty good for those days.”

Crony says: “Not very impressive statistics…”

Paul says: “Very good… I’ve killed sixty-one billion, sterilized ninety planets, completely demoralized five hundred others. I’ve wiped out the followers of forty religions…”

If he keeps talking like that, he’ll probably end up demoralizing Frank–if such a thing can be done.

So, that’s Paul: the main, hateful character.

And another thing should be mentioned:

Paul is sorta married to Chani. Sorta because he calls her his “concubine.”

Now, after Paul defeated the former emperor (before he started demoralizing planets), he had to formally marry Irulan–the daughter of the former emperor.

But it’s in name only, the marriage. Paul will not have any contact with Irulan.

Which makes Irulan mad since she wants a child.

So, to be spiteful, Irulan administers contraceptives to Chani through her food.

Why Irulan is in charge of feeding Chani we will never know.

Nor will Herbert, since it’s got nothing to do with sand dunes.

Anyways and then some, Paul is aware of what Irulan is doing (cause he just knows things) but he won’t stop her, because he’s foreseen that if Chani gives birth, she will die.

What an interest.

Then, one day, Chani finds out:

“Someone… has been feeding me a contraceptive for a long time…”

And Paul thinks: “Irulan prolonged your life, beloved. For you, the time of birth is the time of death.”

Humph noodles. You mean to tell me that if Chani conceives and gives birth, she’ll die? And that Paul has knowingly let her consume a contraceptive just so she won’t conceive and die?

Someone should smack Paul. It’s not as if she can conceive on her own, see. He obviously doesn’t care a wink for her.

For, when she finds out, she switches her diet, conceives and dies.

Wow…

This, of course, drives Paul to his semi-death. And Irulan mourns him…

“…Princess Irulan. That one! …she swears she loved him…”

One would never know it.

Now, one more thing should be mentioned here.

Because of the contraceptive and all that, when Chani conceived it was said there would be problems with the birth.

So, to fix it, Chani had to…

“The medics tell me I must eat three or four times what I ate before… It goes too fast.”

3 or 4 times?!

Goodness.

Paul’s response is:

“Too fast…”

What he meant to say was “too fat.” But he was just being polite.

At one point, on one of the horribly pages of the book, one character says:

“I’ve now-sense.”

That’s something Herbert would’ve benefited from. Not only didn’t he have straight up now sense, I fear he never received any.

 

 

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108 Responses to “Ripping Book Review: Dune Messiah”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 October 4, 2015 at 02:44

    That is a very confusing book. It sounds like a yawn.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke October 4, 2015 at 22:28

      You would yawn so much you couldn’t close your head. Mouth.

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 October 4, 2015 at 23:52

        Wow. I can imagine! It sounded dull.

  2. 4 Heartafire August 28, 2015 at 13:57

    Holy Guacamole, how did I miss this? I could have saved myself the twenty minutes it took me to flip through this book before running screaming through the streets with an anxiety attack.

    • 5 Professor VJ Duke August 31, 2015 at 19:45

      *laughing* That bad? Of course it is! Horrid and horrid complete. I wonder what he was eating while writing that?

  3. 6 walt walker July 15, 2015 at 14:58

    Now this book does seem a bit of nonsense. I haven’t read it and I refuse to. I did read the first one many years ago.Had to start it three times before I ever got the momentum going to finish it. It was a beating. And too much politics. Good rip.

    • 7 Professor VJ Duke July 16, 2015 at 13:56

      *laughs* Exactly! I picture you like an engine, the sudden, revving up to get over the hill that is Herbert’s book. Wasn’t it toooooooooooo long?

      • 8 walt walker July 16, 2015 at 15:39

        It was. By the way, I’m borrowing “the sudden” in my next post, if you don’t mind. I like that, the sudden.

      • 9 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 00:28

        That is absolutely fine! You use it like a pro, so all’s well. Can’t wait to read it now, the sudden. Remember me to invite Dick to TPL soon.

  4. 10 Sonya Solomonovich July 11, 2015 at 02:47

    I’ve never read the book, but it sounds like it deserved that ripping. Would the professor recommend watching the movie instead?

    • 11 Professor VJ Duke July 13, 2015 at 00:03

      Sonya, I think I’d like to watch the movie. But…it could be scary. Would you watch it?

  5. 12 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 10, 2015 at 17:35

    I am quite frankly your dumbest follower. It is official!! What are you reading??!!! Sand? Yucketh. Marrying a woman one isn’t completely in love with is a horrid idea, Duke. Please don’t do that…

    I’m sending you a book. A better book. You need help, I think.

    • 13 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2015 at 19:15

      You are not! Why would you say that? I don’t know what I was reading, Audith. Help me! The first one wasn’t bad at all. A bit weird. But the series really gets weird. Of course, I won’t. I can’t marry, ’cause I’m heartless remember.

      Yes…what is it?

      • 14 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 11, 2015 at 16:32

        I’ve never ever heard of this series. Nor do I have the smarts to contribute my opinion either way, however, I do enjoy reading your smartness, a lot. I giggle while reading these ripios. I can’t help. I haven’t a clue. Oh, yes, heartless beast, for sure.
        Vampire book… *smiles bigly*

      • 15 Professor VJ Duke July 13, 2015 at 00:05

        I knew you were going to say something Vampire! Which one? Bet you’ll say Twilight!

        Oh, I rip like a fierce warrior. I wonder if Herbert would appreciate it…

      • 16 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 13, 2015 at 02:56

        *laughing* I was just joshin’ you, Duke. I don’t read those anymore.
        Yes, you’re good at it. Let’s ask him, shall we?

      • 17 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 12:49

        But how can we? He died, did you hear. You don’t read those anymore? *professorish doubting eye*

      • 18 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 14, 2015 at 22:55

        I thought you had special credentials and could talk to him whenever you needed to, Duketh. *smirks* Well, okay, that was a lie.

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke July 15, 2015 at 12:52

        *laughs* I knew you read them! I’ll have to talk to Mr. Warrior about that, I will.

      • 20 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 15, 2015 at 21:45

        I couldn’t pay him to read one. He finds them redicalous, as well. I haven’t read one in a while, actually.

      • 21 Professor VJ Duke July 16, 2015 at 14:05

        *laughs* You know, I think guys do overall. It’s not a warriors thing!

      • 22 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 16, 2015 at 17:21

        *giggles* Wasn’t my thing either. I read the book for a friend and fell in.

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 00:42

        Were you reviewing it in a way?

      • 24 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 18, 2015 at 16:17

        I suppose you could say that, Duke. Mostly, I was laying out at the pool when a British Canadian woman approached me. She told me she had just finished the book and loved it. Asked me if I wanted to read it and I said yes, because I loved her voice and wanted to be her friend. Smiles. She’s a nurse practioner and said she’d read statistics where fewer children were getting hurt outside (ending up in ERs) doing dangerous things during werks when these Twilight novels were released. She wanted to know what the allure was… I could have cared less, as I’m not a child’s doctor, but I thought she was amazing to listen to. Never stopped chatting with me. Been friends for eight years now… her name is Wendie…she is just like the Wendy in Peter Pan. She saved me. Made me smile.

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke July 20, 2015 at 13:12

        What a fantastic story! I love that sort of thing. You make friends all the time, which is a great thing. You’re approachable which is even better. Big ups to you, Audith. I would’ve kicked her in the pool, I fear. And you, too. Then I would’ve kicked myself in.

      • 26 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 20, 2015 at 17:12

        Thanks for letting me share it with you. I usually look way to intimidating and frowny, I think. Seems she wasn’t scared. I liked that about her right away. Kicked us?!?! Seems harsh. *laughing* I’d have pulled you in with me. Trust me.

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke July 21, 2015 at 11:33

        You look intimidating? Audith! I usually fancy that I’m mean and secret agenty…but people laugh at me all the time. Instead of fear me.

        You would have? *laughs* I’d have tried to dodge!

      • 28 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 21, 2015 at 19:39

        Yes. I frown a lot. See? *frowns* I fear you completely, so job well done. I’d have body slammed you into the pool.

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke July 22, 2015 at 12:37

        Nah…it’s just an upside-down smile!! You would have? Goodness. *laughs* Now that would’ve been something.

      • 30 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 22, 2015 at 16:01

        It is!!!! I’m always smiling and sparkling, you know. *laughs* I wouldn’t let you drown.

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke July 22, 2015 at 19:18

        I would sink to the bottom and end up in another pool. Like in that Twilight Zone.

      • 32 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 23, 2015 at 15:07

        I wouldn’t follow you. The show freaks me out.

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2015 at 00:15

        Does it? There are some really freaky shows.

      • 34 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 24, 2015 at 04:14

        Yes. They all act so robotic…freaky.

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2015 at 17:45

        Well, sometimes they do. But, yes, they’re creepy!

  6. 36 Simply Skeptical July 9, 2015 at 22:39

    Seriously! More like NO sense. Its a popular movement today. While this rip was so funny I almost felt like laughing & crying at the absurdity of what not only gets published, but has some form of success too. Thanks for the fun rip Prof!

    • 37 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2015 at 22:56

      Very successful, SS. Very. It’s quite absurd, the book. Like some people, Herbert tries to convince his audience that what he’s writing about is so deep and so important, that it defies reason. He’s a twerdlit.

  7. 38 John W. Howell July 9, 2015 at 22:20

    You convinced me that my decision to avoid Dune many years ago was a good one.

    • 39 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2015 at 22:55

      *high-five* You know it! You probably would’ve hated it to many bits.

      • 40 John W. Howell July 10, 2015 at 00:49

        Way too many to many bits

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2015 at 12:59

        *nods* It’s probably the worm bits, too.

  8. 42 Café Miskatonic July 9, 2015 at 19:26

    :) I love the first book. It did leave me with a few questions – but the writing style was gripping and I enjoyed it from the first page to the last.

    I never got around to reading any sequel – I think I need to make a trip to the library soon.

    • 43 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2015 at 22:55

      Good to see you! Aha…the first book is way better, you are exactly right. Now…what did you make of Alia?

      Oh dear me. Well, if you read it, you must let me know if you think Chani or Irulan is the bad one.

  9. 44 Lady Dunamis July 9, 2015 at 16:06

    I enjoy your rips too much to read the book. The mere pleasure of knowing I have saved myself money by not buying the book gives me goosebumps and chill pimples. 😏

    • 45 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2015 at 22:50

      Haha! Yes…but Herbert, Lady, you should read him just so you have the experience of the second worst author in the world.

      • 46 Lady Dunamis July 10, 2015 at 02:10

        Ha! Um, no thank you.

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2015 at 13:00

        Oh rats and a heifer!

  10. 48 Alastair Savage July 9, 2015 at 15:07

    Noooo! It’s a great book, even though all your criticisms are very fair. It doesn’t make an awful lot of sense at times. If you think this volume makes no sense, just wait for Chapterhouse: Dune. That kind of ends midway with the characters floating through the universe for no particular reason…

    • 49 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2015 at 22:49

      Oh…goodness me, did you read them all? I feel bad for you, you pour soul! So…does Paul live?

      • 50 Alastair Savage July 10, 2015 at 06:07

        [spoilers] No, he’s dead. They later suggest that the Preacher in this book is a ghola of Paul. Leto, however, has a bizarre afterlife …

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2015 at 13:06

        Imagine! And I was sure that it was him. What happens to Leto?

      • 52 Alastair Savage July 10, 2015 at 13:45

        He becomes a giant worm, lives for thousands of years, keeps making gholas of Duncan Idaho (which he kills), and then splits apart into thousands of little worms each of which retains a fragment of his personality. I’m reviewing that one next week: God Emperor of Dune.

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2015 at 19:01

        I cannot wait for your review. It seems Herbert just got more and more bizarre. Is there a reason he kept making Idaho? Did he go batty?

      • 54 Alastair Savage July 11, 2015 at 05:00

        Basically he’s trying to make a new Kwisatch Hadderach although I never saw all that much in Duncan Idaho to be honest. There is one great character who turns up in the last two books, Miles Teg, who has almost every power going: he’s a mentat, a kind of Bene Gessarit ans super strong and fast. He’s the best character since the first two books.

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke July 13, 2015 at 00:03

        I do hope he doesn’t die…?

  11. 56 Debbie July 9, 2015 at 14:38

    Oh, well done, Professor! Now I definitely won’t read this garbage! It’s hard to connect with a hateful protagonist, for one; for another, all those political maneuverings sound dreadful (killing 61 billion people?? *shudders* )

    I’m thinking Herbert should’ve stuck with the sand dunes idea — and his publisher should’ve stuck with auto repair manuals!!

    • 57 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2015 at 22:48

      Thank you! Yes, can you believe 61 bil.? That’s just…unreal. I think he meant insects or something. Goodness. You know, Debbie, you would’ve hated Paul more than…a snake in the car!

      *laughs* Quite right!

  12. 58 PorterGirl July 9, 2015 at 13:51

    Fabulous ripping review! Part of me would have prefered to read the thing he was going to write about sand, to be honest. But the book’s very existance is justified by your awesome review. Also – I wouldn’t mind eating 3 or 4 times what I usually do, that sounds just dandy..

    • 59 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2015 at 22:47

      Many thanks, Lucy! *Laughing lots* I bet the thing about sand would’ve been about sand snakes. And that would’ve been interesting, you are right. *laughing even more* Yes, but beasts like you and I can handle that sort of eating regiment, ’cause we fight it off. But Chani…she would’ve bloated, I fear.

      • 60 PorterGirl July 10, 2015 at 05:01

        We are eating-type beasts, certainly. She shouldn’t be afraid of a little bloating, that can be fixed easily by the releasing of air from the bottom. Then she can eat more!

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2015 at 13:06

        *laughing lots* Or exercising! Imagine if she did 6 pull-ups or 30.

      • 62 PorterGirl July 10, 2015 at 13:10

        That would work! She really hasn’t thought things through enough. She could easily eat 3 or 4 times her usual amount if she tried. People like her deserve to die unusual deaths.

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2015 at 18:53

        *laughing lots* Cruel, but I love it! I think you’re right about her. She was too dull.

  13. 64 desertdweller29 July 9, 2015 at 13:28

    Twerdlit? I love it! Awesome ripping book review, Professor. I think the publisher should have stuck to auto-repair manuals and saved the poor Professor. (Although I’m secretly hoping you finish the series so that we may read more of your ripping. It’s too fun.)

    • 65 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2015 at 22:45

      *laughs* Thank you, DD! That word is perfect for some people, don’t you know. More of them?! *almost dies* Well, I read the first one and the third one, but if I read another, I could die, you know. Have you ever read one?

  14. 66 FictionFan July 9, 2015 at 13:16

    HahahaHA!!! You just can’t get over that Chani woman, can you?? Poor Irulan! She probably just stopped by to get an auto-repair manual and suddenly finds she’s ended up married to a man who won’t… won’t… well, you know what he won’t do!! And really, when you think about it logically, Paul killed Chani… or perhaps it was the eight doughnuts a day…

    Great rip, sir, of a book that well deserves it! I think you owe it to the world to read all the rest… then pop back and tell me what it was all about, would you? *leaps onto the back of a passing sandworm and slithers off*

    • 67 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2015 at 22:43

      Well, I find it an interest that she eats that much, don’t you? You must. But Irulan knew from the beginning that he wouldn’t do that with her! She was being beastly, and you know it! Paul did kill Chani. I wonder why he didn’t tell her about her dying and all. You have 8 donuts a day?

      *laughs* That, madam, is the coolest part of the series! I think I may rip Dune, if you like. You did a good job of the other.

      • 68 FictionFan July 10, 2015 at 02:32

        If my choice was chit-chatting with Paul or eating incessantly, I know which I’d choose! She did not! *stamps foot* She loved Paul and I bet he didn’t tell her that he… wouldn’t!! He probably wanted Chani to die so he could flirt with someone else… men! Tchah! Did Chani have a ponytail? I beg your pardon, Cheeky Chicky! I never have more than six!! *wipes sugar from chin*

        You must!! But you must rip 3 too – I love to see the bits you pick…

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2015 at 13:02

        You do have a point. Instead, you could just do pull-ups, instead of talking to Paul. That’d be better, I say. Oh, she just wanted a child! If she could’ve had one on her own, she would’ve dumped Paul faster than a cat dumps a cashew. I bet Chani did have a ponytail! Don’t you?

        I think I could actually rip 2 five more times.

      • 70 FictionFan July 10, 2015 at 16:17

        *laughs* Yes, I suppose that would be one alternative! *laughing more* Lovely imagery! Bet when she saw how Leto and Ghani turned out she was kinda glad she never got to have one! No, I don’t. *suddenly feels inadequate* But neither do you!

        You should then! It’s best to get these things out of the system before they fester…

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2015 at 19:09

        I do wonder all the time why cats don’t like cashews. Irulan loved them, though. *laughs* I never said I liked a ponytail! Julia just has one, that’s all. I’d never wear one!

        Well, I could do that with P&P as well…

      • 72 FictionFan July 10, 2015 at 23:42

        Do you? That’s what makes you special! *laughs* Yes, given that she chose to stay on Dune when she didn’t have to, one has to assume she liked nuts. Dadblameit! Now you tell me! Just after I’d cut one off a horse and superglued it to my head!! Poor Amelia… dumped for a ponytail bobber! You’re so fickle!!

        No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO! I shall make you read Emma if you do….

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke July 13, 2015 at 00:00

        Well, it is intriguing, you must admit! I’m sure Iru had no idea what those kids would become! *shudders a few times, then stops* *laughs* Don’t do that! Short hair is far better. Just look at Jason Statham! Now that’s what I’m going to do. You know, I bet Julia is a better worker than Amelia.

        I’d never read that pile of…!

      • 74 FictionFan July 13, 2015 at 14:41

        *laughs* It is! Hmm! Well, if you feel you must! You’re not setting the bar very high for her though, are you?

        Um…OK.

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 12:58

        Oh come on! He’s the coolest thing ever. Well, Amelia is a lawyer don’t you know.

        Haha! I win.

      • 76 FictionFan July 14, 2015 at 18:11

        Tchah! Cooler than Darby? I think not! No, I didn’t know, but it’s a career she’s well suited to… *spits*

        Hmm… well, if you think so…

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 21:49

        He’d pick Darby up and crack him in half! *goes and watches more expendables*

        I always think I win.

  15. 78 L. Marie July 9, 2015 at 13:12

    Though I enjoyed Herbert’s Dune series, I have to laugh at this. Some aspects did seem a bit much–like the political marriages. Though I did come to like Irulan as a character, despite her methods here.

    • 79 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2015 at 22:42

      L. Marie! You couldn’t have liked Irulan! She…she…killed Chani! Now what say you to that?

  16. 80 Susan P July 9, 2015 at 12:53

    Laughing…I read the original trilogy in the seventies. 1970s. I decided that for my sanity I must leave the rest alone. That whole thing with Chani having to eat more kind of freaked me out. I hope you have not done harm to yourself reading this book. ;)

    • 81 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2015 at 22:41

      No, this professor is proud to report no self-harm happened at the time of reading this book. Promise bunches. Did you really read this stuff? Wow. Never had a nagging to finish the series?

      • 82 Susan P July 10, 2015 at 00:24

        Nope. I read the original trilogy and then gave it up. And my dad gave me the books.

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2015 at 12:58

        I bet it was a punishment! The books, I mean.

      • 84 Susan P July 10, 2015 at 14:40

        I’ll tell you what. I studied my dad for a year after that trying to discern whether or not he had been captured by aliens.

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2015 at 19:05

        *laughing lots* That comment rocks, Susan. I think it’s effected me for…forever!

      • 86 Susan P July 12, 2015 at 13:02

        As much as SK?

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke July 13, 2015 at 00:10

        I’ve never read one of his books. Isn’t that surprising?

      • 88 Susan P July 13, 2015 at 13:07

        You should read The Stand. Just be sure to buy your own. I think the characters came from TLP

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 12:53

        Now…why is that?

      • 90 Susan P July 14, 2015 at 13:10

        It is an interest. And long. http://entertainment.time.com/2009/11/09/stephen-king-on-his-10-longest-novels/

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 21:38

        Wow. It is super long.

      • 92 Susan P July 15, 2015 at 01:22

        It took me a few months. But it is good nevertheless.

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke July 15, 2015 at 12:57

        It would take me a few years, don’t you know.

      • 94 Susan P July 15, 2015 at 17:46

        Well, what else do you have to do?

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke July 16, 2015 at 13:59

        Rip books, for instance! And…and…play Candyland!

      • 96 Susan P July 16, 2015 at 17:35

        Sounds like fun. Maybe even rip some games.

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 00:43

        With the katana?

      • 98 Susan P July 17, 2015 at 01:12

        If you are careful…

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 22:06

        No one is ever careful with that bad boy.

      • 100 Susan P July 18, 2015 at 00:49

        Are you that bad boy?

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke July 20, 2015 at 12:59

        Yes, I fear so, wouldn’t you say?

      • 102 Susan P July 20, 2015 at 13:38

        Aren’t we all?

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke July 21, 2015 at 11:23

        Definitely. It’s quite normal and fun!

      • 104 Susan P July 21, 2015 at 13:24

        You bring a good deal of fun.

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke July 22, 2015 at 12:26

        And Punchyness!

      • 106 Susan P July 22, 2015 at 14:18

        I always thought the punchness was the fun?

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke July 22, 2015 at 19:11

        Ohhhhh…you do have a point, the sudden.

      • 108 Susan P July 22, 2015 at 21:03

        *shakes head sadly*


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Professorish Smiley:

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or

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Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


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