PT News & Amelia Attacks


An Excerpt from PT News

PT News Logo

Vol. XXCCVI No. 789334

“PT for TPL”

Punchy Proverbs:

(1) Rushing + No Time = Panic 

(2) When we panic, we must understand one thing: We’re not thinking properly.

(3) To work hard is a good, rightly thing. It is, however, a bit hard on the hips.

Proverbs by poet V. Shnodgrate

Breaking News:

The struggle is real for King Arthur. His castle has been surrounded and the peasants are demanding change. Arthur is adamant about not giving it. The result? Epic confrontation.

Sandra Salami is suing Mr. Manahanny’s paper, Archiving News, for defaming her practice, employees, and father. It is doubtful whether or not that is a smart move on Sandra’s part. Archiving News is the largest paper in TPL.  Read the rest of the story on Pg. 5.

An Excerpt from PT News


Office Life:

The street is busy. Cars here, cars there, but never any cars on the yellow line.

However busy it is, though, this professor still must cross it to get to the PT News building.

I crossed the middle of the street, and I didn’t wait for the cars to stop.

Because they never stop, see.

After a few mean drivers played their horns, the professor was safely across the street. I entered our building.

Well, first I opened the door.

And I held it open for a lady who was passing through.

She got cranky–real quick. “Don’t hold the door for me, worm!”

“You’re in a mistaking fit,” I replied. “I’m not a worm and I didn’t hold the door for you: I did that for your shoes. They’re more lady-like, see.”

I left at that point. And went up to the 7th floor. That’s the top of the building. PT News owns the entire building, you must understand, but we rent some floors out.

V. Shnodgrate was standing over a pot of coffee when I came in.

“There’s no coffee,” he said.

“That’s because no one made any,” Nick Warren said.

“A wonder,then, there’s no coffee,” I said.

Then I went in my office. There’s a plant in the corner, you should know. A blue one. With red peaches.

At least, that’s what I say.

Nick stuck his head in. “J. and Julia are out getting stuff.” Then he was gone.

I sat down at the desk and began to do many things that can’t be recounted here, for we haven’t the time or interest.

Then, something sudden and scary happened:

The door opened and Amelia came in.

It was shocking.

 “Goodness,” this professor said. “How’d you get in?”

“Through the door.”

“But it was shut, wasn’t it?”

“It was.” Then she smiled.

I stood. “Hey, Shnod!”

He came in. “Why is there no coffee?” he asked again.

“Well, it’s not the professor’s fault,” I answered.

“Yes, it probably is.”

Then I looked at Amelia. “Would you like to go to lunch?”

“I’d love to!” She almost squealed, too.

“Good,” I said, “Shnod will take you. He wants coffee.”

And that is how you get rid of two problematic people, PF.


127 Responses to “PT News & Amelia Attacks”

  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 October 3, 2015 at 20:52

    Well handled with Amelia, sir!

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke October 4, 2015 at 22:24

      Thank you! I must admit, I was proud of it.

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 October 4, 2015 at 23:54

        Brilliant work. You should be proud of yourself. :-D

  2. 4 masgautsen July 21, 2015 at 11:11

    Loving the news! I see I have a lot of punchy to catch up on after my trips to italy and my summer-house! That is great news also.

    • 5 Professor VJ Duke July 21, 2015 at 11:35

      Why thank you bunches! So…was Italy very grand?

      • 6 masgautsen July 21, 2015 at 11:41

        It was lovely! So lovely I have to use many posts to cover it :P

      • 7 Professor VJ Duke July 22, 2015 at 12:21

        Perfect. No better way to do things.

  3. 8 walt walker July 15, 2015 at 00:05

    Good job getting rid of those two, man.

    Now I must say that I thought you had not been posting, but now I see that WordPress has done it to me again – they dropped you out of my reader. I’ve re-followed yet again (this is a recurring thingy) and now I see I’ve some catching up to do. This is hard work, this.

    • 9 Professor VJ Duke July 15, 2015 at 12:56

      Thank you, Walt. I’ve been congratulating myself all the last two days.

      *laughs and tries not to* Walt, we just must discuss why this happens to you. I think it has something to do with the boomerang you posted on twitter. I think wordpress saw it.

  4. 10 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 14, 2015 at 23:12

    So. All three proverbs are quite true. I couldn’t chose a favorite even if I tried, which you are not, by the way! Humph! I’m a bit of a planner, Duke. Rushing isn’t my best suit, but I have others, and heels to complete the look. I rushed down a rapid and hit my hip. Does that count? Couldn’t plan for that, you know…. I need a non planner in my life to help me with perfect adventures.

    Oh, and it’s official. I’m no longer speaking to you. For the record, I’ll tell you why, but only once. You sent Shnoddy and Amelia out together for lunch… When you know I want speaks with him first? (Even though you know I won’t.) And what are you doing asking her to lunch…flirt.

    • 11 Professor VJ Duke July 15, 2015 at 12:56

      *laughs* That definitely counts. And that seems like it was a rather perfect adventure! Now, you must choose a proverb, just because you brought it up. *waits*

      No, not a flirt at all! It was part of the attack move, see. I was brilliantly constructing this plan. But you’re right…I did send him out without your consent. You can send him a letter, you know. He’d like that.

      • 12 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 15, 2015 at 21:53

        #2, not that you care, Sir. *laughs*

        Ah, I see. So your goal all along was to get them to go to lunch. I’m interested in knowing why. I’m sure you’ll tell us eventually. You don’t need my consent. *shocked face* I’m nobody. Your rules, Duketh. Send Shnod a letter. No, his wife would burn it.

      • 13 Professor VJ Duke July 16, 2015 at 14:07

        I do care! Why wouldn’t I?

        Well, I thought it was a good way to get rid of them both. She wouldn’t mind…if it was a fan letter. Shnod does get those, you know.

      • 14 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 16, 2015 at 17:19

        Laughs. Just kidding, Duke. It doesn’t surprise me that Shnod gets fan letters. He would. Smiles

      • 15 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 00:40

        Well, you could send him snails in the letters, too. That’d be cool.

      • 16 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 18, 2015 at 16:07

        Snails? Well, I do see them regularly here on old moist church windows.

      • 17 Professor VJ Duke July 20, 2015 at 13:10

        The question is what do you do with them?

      • 18 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 20, 2015 at 17:08

        Watch them. They are so intricate. Glued to the side of windows…like my own lab, really. The perfect sort of lab. One I don’t actually have to tend to or do anything with.

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke July 21, 2015 at 11:32

        Well, and you can’t play fetch with them either. Or pet their ears.

      • 20 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 21, 2015 at 19:42

        No, I can’t. I wouldn’t want to do those things to a snail. I bet you would.

      • 21 Professor VJ Duke July 22, 2015 at 12:38

        Fetch…? Hmm, it might be fun to throw them around a bit.

      • 22 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 22, 2015 at 16:03


  5. 23 Angeline M July 14, 2015 at 22:36

    Good work today, PVJ; you crossed the street without getting hit, you held the door open for shoes, you didn’t buckle and make the coffee as I’m sure Shnod wanted you to, and you got rid of both Shnod and Amelia. Wow, what a day. Did your hips hurt?

    • 24 Professor VJ Duke July 15, 2015 at 12:51

      *laughing lots and lots* That is such a clever comment, Angeline! I’m laughing right now. And you know, yes, the hips heart. What should be done about it?

  6. 25 Lady Dunamis July 14, 2015 at 22:32

    I like proverbs one and two and I shall’nt choose between the two and good job at getting rid of two people. Most clever of you PVJ.

    • 26 Professor VJ Duke July 15, 2015 at 12:50

      I do feel clever I must admit. But…but…you must choose or no halo for Christmas!

      • 27 Lady Dunamis July 17, 2015 at 17:42

        No halo? Ha! I come prepared.

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 22:20

        Rats and a Heifer. And a dadblameit, mind you.

  7. 29 The Lite Rider July 14, 2015 at 20:36

    I like all the proverbs … but what I like best is the first proverb, followed by the second. :)

    I laughed quite a bit at your holding the door for the shoes … Ha ha! And of course I liked the technique for getting rid of a couple of people. (What on EARTH is going on with King Arthur?!)

    • 30 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 21:52

      Yes! They did sorta just work gloriously like that.

      I’m not sure what King Arthur is about! Imagine. What a beast he is. Wasn’t that lady mean, though, doubt holding the door?

      • 31 The Lite Rider July 16, 2015 at 20:13

        Ah yes. I have a story, but too long to tell here. About a “lady” who was expecting a door to be opened for her, when the guy just walked right past, opened it for himself, and left her standing there. (No it didn’t happen to me.) Btw, Professor, on a different tangent — have you ever noticed how weeds grow whether it’s hot, cold, dry, or wet?! There’s gotta be a lesson in there somewhere… ;-)

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 00:45

        No way! Imagine a chap doing that to a lady! Was she cranky?

        *laughs* You’re so right. Should I write something on it?

  8. 33 Nancy Loderick July 14, 2015 at 19:54

    Hey Professor,

    Welcome back! We sure missed you and your words of wisdom. :)

    It sounds like you had a quite a day there.


    • 34 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 21:50

      I sure did! Good to be back. How’ve you been?

  9. 35 Jackie July 14, 2015 at 17:47

    Proverb #2 is my fav! I don’t really have anything else to add. It appears all is as it was in Punchy Lands.

    • 36 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 21:46

      Quite right, Jackie. The PL’ers are up to no good!

      • 37 Jackie July 14, 2015 at 21:48

        It would not be Punchy Lands if there was no dadblamery!!

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 21:53

        Quite right, Jackie, quite right!

  10. 39 Debbie July 14, 2015 at 17:42

    *laughing lots and then some* Professor, you’re so clever at getting rid of two problems by packing them off together! Not many folks would have thought of that! Well done, Sir!

    Schnoddy has outdone himself this week on the proverbs — each one is apropos and has a ring of truth!

    ‘Tis interesting to think on a newspaper located on the top floor of an eight-story building. Must be a challenge rushing off for breaking news stories — hope the elevators are FAST!

    As for Amelia? I was half-afraid you were going to hire her as the coffee-maker, you know! It’s obvious she’s smitten with you and was jumping for joy at the thought of doing lunch. Serves her beady-eyed self right, hah!

    • 40 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 21:45

      *smiles bilgy big* Thank you bunches, Debbie! I must admit, I feel rather spicy and triumphant about it. They deserved it, after all.

      Apropos! I love that word, though I can’t say it much at all.

      Well, we don’t use elevators…there’s this pole…see. Like a firman’s pole. Yes, it’s about 80 feet high.

      It does! *nods* But now you’re making me feel bad. Should I hire her?

      • 41 Debbie July 14, 2015 at 23:10

        Argh, NO! Unless, of course, you just want to antagonize your lady readers, who give you enough noise as it is about things like your beautiful pants, the ponytail girl, and your penchant for flirting! What can I say? It’s your spicy red personality we all love!

        A pole? An 80-foot pole? I can see sliding down, but how do you get up?? And what if somebody is trying to get down whilst you’re trying to ascend? Hmm, better think that one through!

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke July 15, 2015 at 12:54

        Red personality! Yes, that’s it. But we all know one thing: the professor does not flirt! Not at all. I’m heartless, so, see, it’s just not possible.

        Well, there’s three of them. And we climb up the pole too. Good for the arms, see.

  11. 43 MissTiffany July 14, 2015 at 17:20

    Shnodgrate’s proverbs seem to be particularly speaking to me this week. I seem to always be in a rush at work. I often curse the fact that our company is called Speedy Print…

    • 44 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 21:44

      *laughing lots* That’s hilarious. You should war on them for a bit.

      • 45 MissTiffany July 14, 2015 at 22:37

        I would, but for the responsible management position I find myself in….maybe I will anyway. To war!

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke July 15, 2015 at 12:51

        To war! Blame me. That always works.

      • 47 MissTiffany July 16, 2015 at 12:45

        Oh I could, but isn’t that what interns are for?

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke July 16, 2015 at 14:10

        Well…do you know any up for the job?

      • 49 MissTiffany July 16, 2015 at 14:27

        Actually I have one on hand now. But she’s being a good help right now, so perhaps I won’t blame her just yet.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 00:26

        Ooooooooooh! Where’s your wicked spirit?

      • 51 MissTiffany July 17, 2015 at 00:26

        I save it for Fridays.

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 00:47

        One day a week?!

      • 53 MissTiffany July 17, 2015 at 02:34

        Well…not all the time. I sometimes enjoy a Friday on a Monday or in the middle of the week. I wouldn’t want to limit myself. And what better way to spread Chaos than to have a Friday on a Tuesday?

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 22:08

        Yes! Brilliant. Tuesdays are those days that need most chaos, I think.

      • 55 MissTiffany July 18, 2015 at 00:13

        Most definitely. They are the most wickedest of days, after all.

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke July 20, 2015 at 12:59

        *nods* It’s a good thing you’re so wicked and can influence others. Wicked things will spread then.

      • 57 MissTiffany July 25, 2015 at 11:22

        :) And therein lies my plot. Incidentally, I just finished reading a lovely little book called “The Wicked Will Rise” which is a sequel to “Dorothy Must Die”, a series by Danielle Paige. This isn’t the Oz you remember…
        It was quite good!

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke July 28, 2015 at 14:05

        *laughing* What wicked sounding books you read! How great, as well.

  12. 59 desertdweller29 July 14, 2015 at 15:28

    The headline “Amelia Attacks” is a little misleading, Professor. She merely came in through a closed door. However, given your distaste for her, I believe the Professor is secretly garbaldooked over her. Is that blasphemous to say? I sure hope so! Love the proverbs today. I must say, the poet Shnods is on a roll. He must have panic attacks, poor thing.

    • 60 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 21:43

      But…see, DD, it was like she busted down my drawbridge! And since I”m so old I’m from the medieval ages…it was an act of war! Have I convinced thou?

      *laughing lots* It is blasphemous! But I sorta like it.

      He does, the poor chap.

  13. 61 L. Marie July 14, 2015 at 15:18

    I enjoyed all of the proverbs!

    So glad you deftly deflected your problematic people onto each other. But how interesting that Amelia was so eager to go to lunch with you.

    Now I’m wondering what the lady’s shoes looked like.

    • 62 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 21:42

      Well, thank you!

      I know…but is it that surprising? Should I go with her?

      They were gold…and rather tall. Not sure what you call those. And I think they had bows on them.

  14. 63 FictionFan July 14, 2015 at 13:44

    1. True! Shnoddy must have stolen that one!
    2. Shnoddy never thinks properly so perhaps he’s always panicking.
    3. I’m intrigued as to what Shnoddy works hard at that hurts his hips. Is he perhaps training for the World Hula Hoop Championships?

    I WANT PAGE 5!!! (Is it really possible to defame someone as wicked as DS, I wonder?)

    Good noodles! Can that snake-woman not take a hint?!? Doesn’t she know that the Professor has dumped her in favour of the ponytail bobber? Although flirting with the lady with the ladylike shoes suggests that his famed fickleness is still going strong… (I wonder if Shnoddy will teach Amelia to hula hoop. Though it might be a problem since snakes don’t have hips… *muses*)

    • 64 FictionFan July 14, 2015 at 13:46

      PS I’ve read the PT News loyally for two weeks – can I have my pumpkin cookies now please?

      • 65 Susan P July 14, 2015 at 15:17

        Chocolate on the cookies?

      • 66 FictionFan July 14, 2015 at 18:13

        Didn’t want to push my luck! (‘Cos secretly I’m hoping for the promised kiss and hug too…)

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 21:49

        Yes…but they’re all from Shnod, I warn.

      • 68 FictionFan July 15, 2015 at 12:51

        *grabs cookies and flees*

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke July 16, 2015 at 13:46

        He made the cookies, too.

      • 70 FictionFan July 16, 2015 at 16:23

        You’re so mean to me! It may be time to resurrect my little dancing gif…

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 00:29

        Oh, bet you don’t have it anymore! Plus, look! Something up there in the field!

      • 72 FictionFan July 17, 2015 at 15:11

        I do! It’s my secret weapon, armed and ready to be deployed within seconds… Hah! Like I’d fall for that! *glances nervously at the field just in case…*

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 22:18

        Humburger. I don’t believe a word of it!

    • 74 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 21:41

      *laughs* No one ever does Hula Hoop things anymore. So it can’t be a real Championship! I bet he thinks…bending over is.

      But are you dreadfully sure? (Probably not. I’m sure whatever evil things they say, are true. Just like Darby and Rafa.)

      It’s true. Every woman I ever see, I flirt with! See? It’s just not possible. I don’t flirt. I’m too wicked, see. That’s the truth there. But I shouldn’t have held the door, you’re right.

      • 75 FictionFan July 15, 2015 at 12:50

        I bet they do! And Shnoddy ancient so he probably does… ancient things!

        Dreadfully! (The one thing that could improve Darby and Rafa is a little hint of wickedness… *sighs longingly*)

        I’m gald you admit it! You do! You can’t help it – it’s just part of who you are. *shakes head* I didn’t say that! I think she was very rude…

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke July 16, 2015 at 13:45

        You know, I’ve never tried one. Well, not true. I have, and I’m awful at it.

        But you must make a good trade first! (Well, they’re not warriors so they’re not wicked, see.)

        I don’t see how holding a door is flirting! Then again, I’d hold the door for Fats Henry. That definitely can’t be flirting!

      • 77 FictionFan July 16, 2015 at 16:23

        Practice makes perfect! It used to be one of my many skills, but somehow I’ve let it slip…

        Trade what? I could give you a copy of my new book – How to Resist Horse-headed Women… (Oooh, Rafa is so a warrior! A great one! *imagines Rafa in a skirt and sandals and collapses*)

        Yes, but you probably wouldn’t admire his shoes while you were doing it…

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 00:29

        *laughs* I see what you did there…!

        Well…you can get me one of those hats! That book, I fear, would kill me. (And then, of course, you just must imagine him in that video…)

        I might. If they were shiny…shiny and sweet!

      • 79 FictionFan July 17, 2015 at 15:09

        I might get you a Jimmy Wig… (So, so cruel… *gags*)

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 22:17

        I’ll take one!

  15. 81 Heartafire July 14, 2015 at 13:27

    This explains why I am always being thrust upon strangers at lunchtime. In addition to being a professional fibber I am an expert at picking up on exaggerations .Are you sure you own the whole building? Have a lovely day.

    • 82 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 21:40

      *Laughing* Yes…rather sure, why? Now…do you end up going to lunch, or do you refuse?

      • 83 Heartafire July 15, 2015 at 14:49

        I need to rent some space but it’s on the down-low. :-)

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke July 16, 2015 at 13:56

        *laughs* Now…what do you mean by down-low?

      • 85 Heartafire July 16, 2015 at 17:21

        something on a lower floor. Oh, wow.

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 00:41

        *laughs* Oh wow? Is that because my hat fell off?

      • 87 Heartafire July 17, 2015 at 13:20

        that, and I am so overwhelmed by the excitement of the TPL newsroom. I’ve always wanted to be a reporter you know.

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 22:13

        It’s an exciting place to be, you know, you know. But there is constant fights.

      • 89 Heartafire July 18, 2015 at 02:10

        I love fights, I am good at that, I will add that to my resume.

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke July 20, 2015 at 13:01

        Definitely. I should add your resume is very impressive.

      • 91 Heartafire July 20, 2015 at 13:52

        Thank you, my resume has landed in the circular files of many elite news rooms (she beams with pride).

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke July 21, 2015 at 11:26

        *fist thingy* Now, do we wait long?

      • 93 Heartafire July 21, 2015 at 11:41

        I anticipate a response any day now, fist thingy back! so excited.

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke July 22, 2015 at 12:22

        And if they’re disagreeable…we bust them up!

      • 95 Heartafire July 22, 2015 at 14:58

        that’s our M.O. Hope they are aware of that.

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke July 22, 2015 at 19:15

        Let’s keep ’em in the dark.

  16. 97 Susan P July 14, 2015 at 13:22

    How clever you are! I can only imagine how much those two appreciated that suggestion. What kind of work messes with your hips? And last of all, why did they tinker with the WP?

    • 98 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 21:39

      I think they did. Was it awful of me? You should say ‘yes.’ I like to be beastly. Well…doesn’t bending over mess with the hips?

      • 99 Susan P July 15, 2015 at 01:27

        It depends on how old your hips are. Though you can’t almost sometimes never tell.

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke July 15, 2015 at 12:58

        Mine are about a century old, don’t you know.

      • 101 Susan P July 15, 2015 at 17:49

        You should go visit Scientist. He could probably fix you up good.

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke July 16, 2015 at 14:03

        Don’t you think he’d give me a funny voice?

      • 103 Susan P July 16, 2015 at 17:38

        If he has some helium.

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 00:44

        Or a pink potion.

      • 105 Susan P July 17, 2015 at 01:15

        Or snails

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 22:07

        Stuffed with mushrooms.

      • 107 Susan P July 18, 2015 at 00:53

        Unless you get one of the large side Escargot it won’t work.

      • 108 Professor VJ Duke July 20, 2015 at 13:00

        *gags maybe* Only the Romans eat that sort of thing.

      • 109 Susan P July 20, 2015 at 13:39

        And the French.

      • 110 Professor VJ Duke July 21, 2015 at 11:24

        Do they really? A wonder.

      • 111 Susan P July 21, 2015 at 13:26

        That would explain a lot, right?

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke July 22, 2015 at 12:27

        Well, I think the French are upstanding chaps.

      • 113 Susan P July 22, 2015 at 14:19

        They are, actually. And they are good cooks.

  17. 114 PorterGirl July 14, 2015 at 13:09

    The proverbs are as wise as ever – I think number three is particularly pertinent, I must say.
    I am a little concerned for Arthur, but he should at least consider a little bit of change to keep his people happy. Even if it is just a change of underwear.
    Wishing Sandra the very best in her ill-advised endeavour -she would be better off sending DS round there directly!
    Now – that is the cleverest way of getting rid of two vexations in one go. Poor Amelia – she was really looking forward to you taking her to lunch! But then, she is nothing but a snork-maiden swampdonkey so maybe I am not sorry after all.

    • 115 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 21:37

      #3–if I’m completely honest–is my favorite as well. It is just quite smart and all.

      *laughing lots* After all, it sure couldn’t be hard to change underwear. You are exactly right, you are. He should do something, the little beast, instead of complain. DS would fetch (and ruin) the paper, I am sure.

      Swampdonkey! Love it. Yes, I might have felt a bit bad. But…but…she barged in after all!

      • 116 PorterGirl July 15, 2015 at 04:12

        She is a very rude young lady with the manners of a cuttlefish. You did the right thing, Professor.

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke July 15, 2015 at 12:58

        And cuttlefishes don’t have any manners whatsoever. Shnod is a type of cuttlefish, I’m thinking.

      • 118 PorterGirl July 15, 2015 at 13:16

        Then the two of them should get along just famously!

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke July 16, 2015 at 13:52

        They should! Until a Sperm Whale comes along!

      • 120 PorterGirl July 16, 2015 at 13:56

        Random!! The first song I ever wrote was called Sperm Whale, you know. The chords where CABBAGE – back in the days when I thought it was a good idea to spell words with chords.

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke July 16, 2015 at 14:11

        *laughing lots and lots* I did not know that! How cool. And do you know, I’ve never thought of spelling words with chords? I bet it sounds very neatio. The chords alone prove that to be true. Though…I’m having trouble seeing how cabbage and Sperm Whales connect….

      • 122 PorterGirl July 16, 2015 at 14:26

        Hmm, I don’t think there is a connection, you know. Unless Sperm Whales eat cabbages…

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 00:25

        I can see Sperm Whales eating cabbage. Can’t you? Cabbage and squid…a fav dish.

      • 124 PorterGirl July 17, 2015 at 04:22

        I think they would quite like it, if the cabbage was pickled. *makes a note of favourite dish*

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 22:08

        You do have a point. I think I might quite like it as well, if that’s the case.

      • 126 PorterGirl July 18, 2015 at 08:58

        I have a special recipe for red cabbage and apple which is delicious.

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke July 20, 2015 at 13:02

        Ooo, that sounds really good. I was up in Montreal, I think. And I went to a German restaurant. It was very tasty.

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Wednesday: Professor Speaks

Thursday: OFF — Because Yes

Friday: OFF — All Day Sleep Does

Saturday: OFF — Blue-Footed Boobies Need Fed

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Professorish Smiley:




Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


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