An Excerpt from PT News
Vol. XXCCVI No. 789334
“PT for TPL”
(1) Rushing + No Time = Panic
(2) When we panic, we must understand one thing: We’re not thinking properly.
(3) To work hard is a good, rightly thing. It is, however, a bit hard on the hips.
Proverbs by poet V. Shnodgrate
The struggle is real for King Arthur. His castle has been surrounded and the peasants are demanding change. Arthur is adamant about not giving it. The result? Epic confrontation.
Sandra Salami is suing Mr. Manahanny’s paper, Archiving News, for defaming her practice, employees, and father. It is doubtful whether or not that is a smart move on Sandra’s part. Archiving News is the largest paper in TPL. Read the rest of the story on Pg. 5.
An Excerpt from PT News
The street is busy. Cars here, cars there, but never any cars on the yellow line.
However busy it is, though, this professor still must cross it to get to the PT News building.
I crossed the middle of the street, and I didn’t wait for the cars to stop.
Because they never stop, see.
After a few mean drivers played their horns, the professor was safely across the street. I entered our building.
Well, first I opened the door.
And I held it open for a lady who was passing through.
She got cranky–real quick. “Don’t hold the door for me, worm!”
“You’re in a mistaking fit,” I replied. “I’m not a worm and I didn’t hold the door for you: I did that for your shoes. They’re more lady-like, see.”
I left at that point. And went up to the 7th floor. That’s the top of the building. PT News owns the entire building, you must understand, but we rent some floors out.
V. Shnodgrate was standing over a pot of coffee when I came in.
“There’s no coffee,” he said.
“That’s because no one made any,” Nick Warren said.
“A wonder,then, there’s no coffee,” I said.
Then I went in my office. There’s a plant in the corner, you should know. A blue one. With red peaches.
At least, that’s what I say.
Nick stuck his head in. “J. and Julia are out getting stuff.” Then he was gone.
I sat down at the desk and began to do many things that can’t be recounted here, for we haven’t the time or interest.
Then, something sudden and scary happened:
The door opened and Amelia came in.
It was shocking.
“Goodness,” this professor said. “How’d you get in?”
“Through the door.”
“But it was shut, wasn’t it?”
“It was.” Then she smiled.
I stood. “Hey, Shnod!”
He came in. “Why is there no coffee?” he asked again.
“Well, it’s not the professor’s fault,” I answered.
“Yes, it probably is.”
Then I looked at Amelia. “Would you like to go to lunch?”
“I’d love to!” She almost squealed, too.
“Good,” I said, “Shnod will take you. He wants coffee.”
And that is how you get rid of two problematic people, PF.