Finding Arthur… (TPL Story)

TPLStoryPicSo, yes, this professor was being chased like a common rat, or maybe something even more dastardly and dirty.

I’m not sure what, though.

I paused outside of this castle…

23349_1147071624_large

…and called the PT News office.

Always good to see how things are getting on, you know.

Ring. Ring.

“Hello? PT News. Julia Thompson speaking. How can I help you?”

“Ah, Julia!” I said. “This is PVJ. I–”

“PVJ?!” She wasn’t happy. “Where have you been?”

Well!

“Only fighting for my life in a forest, don’t you know! Good noodles. And here I thought it was possible you were sending some sort of backup.” I clutched my katana closer.

“Things are going awful here. We don’t have time for a search and rescue!” she snapped. “Mr. Manahanny has shredded our paper in his paper!!!”

Now this was an interest. “How did he shred our paper in his paper?”

iHNFoAV

The “Shredder.”

“Don’t be so thick! Our readership is on the decline. It’s over.”

Click.

She hung up. The shnivel.

I’d have to remember to fire her when I returned to PT News. Dadblameit.

So, there was this castle, and a party was going on inside.

23349_1147071624_large

And this professor being the adventurous beast he is, I decided to go in.

And I did.

Right through the front door.

The hallway opened up into a grand ballroom. Everyone was dressed up: Ladies in mushrooms and fellows looking like penguins.

images

Something like it. Only those two chaps weren’t there.

I felt underdressed at first, but I dismissed it immediately. I was wearing something, after all.

“Who are you?”

And I was attacked by this older woman, can you believe. She had long white hair, very blue eyes, and she was wearing some sort of mushroom-shaped dress.

At least it appeared that way.

“I,” this professor said with a bit of a bow, “am Professor VJ Duke. Loner of the islands and king of something–though I’m not sure what.”

Inwardly, I was congratulating myself. See, I thought this reply would throw her off a bit and allow me time to escape.

It didn’t.

“Such a bunch of nothingness, young man!” she said.

And that’s when I spotted him: King Arthur.

The professor had only one option.

I drew my katana and charged…

 

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122 Responses to “Finding Arthur… (TPL Story)”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 October 2, 2015 at 03:11

    Wait. If the readership is on the decline, then why would Julia want to buy it? I smell a rat! And some heifers to boot!

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 13:38

      *laughs* Yes! You’re on to something. She’s evil, huh?

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 October 2, 2015 at 13:42

        Probably. I have no doubt that she’s doing something nefarious.We should investigate!

  2. 4 Heartafire August 6, 2015 at 18:26

    You are becoming fast and loose with your katana, professor, that is a concern for me, I often concern myself in others affairs, it’s what I do. Actually I fear for your well-being, the king surely has back up (who are those goons that follow him around). Take care Professor, we are all rooting for the News and will join the fight if necessary.
    Yours truly.

    • 5 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2015 at 20:57

      Hollie! Thanks bunches. And I might need help, too. What if they hang me? Well, that’s if they capture me. I shall fight all million of his guards at once.

      • 6 Heartafire August 7, 2015 at 14:07

        You are a trooper and delusional as well, a very dangerous combination, I will help you.

      • 7 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2015 at 20:40

        *laughing* Delusional? But why?

      • 8 Heartafire August 7, 2015 at 20:49

        I meant to say I am delusional, but don’t be afraid.

      • 9 Professor VJ Duke August 9, 2015 at 18:07

        *laughing* Do you still think I am?

      • 10 Heartafire August 9, 2015 at 18:33

        If you are seeking reassurance I’m your go-to.

      • 11 Professor VJ Duke August 10, 2015 at 20:30

        *laughs* Okay, then. *bows*

      • 12 Heartafire August 10, 2015 at 20:30

        big smile!

      • 13 Professor VJ Duke August 10, 2015 at 20:40

        I’m good at bowing see.

      • 14 Heartafire August 10, 2015 at 20:44

        I noticed that! Your the best Prof, not many can keep their hat on.

      • 15 Professor VJ Duke August 11, 2015 at 19:12

        Thanks bunches! You wouldn’t believe how much I’ve practiced it.

      • 16 Heartafire August 11, 2015 at 19:19

        I would.

      • 17 Professor VJ Duke August 11, 2015 at 19:28

        Really?

      • 18 Heartafire August 11, 2015 at 19:33

        indeed.

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke August 12, 2015 at 21:15

        You say that now.

      • 20 Heartafire August 12, 2015 at 22:10

        Laughs!

      • 21 Professor VJ Duke August 14, 2015 at 13:18

        *bows*

  3. 22 masgautsen August 6, 2015 at 07:29

    Oh no, what is happening to the PT news?

    • 23 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2015 at 20:56

      I don’t know! You must help me fix it, you know.

      • 24 masgautsen August 7, 2015 at 04:11

        But how?

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2015 at 20:36

        Well, can you fire Julia for me?

      • 26 masgautsen August 7, 2015 at 20:40

        Do you have her contact details and a replacement.

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2015 at 20:41

        Should I get a replacement? I’m scared of it, see.

      • 28 masgautsen August 7, 2015 at 20:44

        Well someone should maybe run things when the professor is on the run?

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke August 9, 2015 at 18:07

        I know! At first, I trusted Julia. Now I’m not sure what to do, see.

      • 30 masgautsen August 9, 2015 at 18:16

        The only advice I can give is find someone you trust!

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke August 9, 2015 at 18:24

        Like a turtle for instance!

      • 32 masgautsen August 9, 2015 at 18:45

        Maybe

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke August 10, 2015 at 20:30

        Maybe?! *laughs* You’re so funny.

  4. 34 Lady Dunamis August 6, 2015 at 03:17

    So violent…and so very good. Show king Arthur who is boss!

    • 35 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2015 at 20:56

      So…you vote to run him through?

      • 36 Lady Dunamis August 6, 2015 at 22:47

        If he can be resurrected yes.

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2015 at 20:29

        Poor chap. I’m sure he’d come back. Everyone in TPL does.

      • 38 Lady Dunamis August 7, 2015 at 21:02

        😃 too funny

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke August 9, 2015 at 18:07

        And a bit sad, you must admit.

  5. 40 John W. Howell August 6, 2015 at 01:10

    Take off a foot so he won’t run any more.

    • 41 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2015 at 20:56

      Yes…then take an eye?

      • 42 John W. Howell August 6, 2015 at 21:37

        Maybe two.

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2015 at 20:28

        Two! I could so do that.

      • 44 John W. Howell August 7, 2015 at 22:04

        Would slow him down a bit.

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke August 9, 2015 at 18:13

        And save him money with the eye doctor.

      • 46 John W. Howell August 9, 2015 at 19:05

        And wouldn’t have to worry about driving a car either.

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke August 10, 2015 at 20:32

        See all the money we’d be saving him?

      • 48 John W. Howell August 10, 2015 at 20:39

        We would be like missionaries in our saving.

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke August 10, 2015 at 20:41

        *laughing lots and lots* Right on!

      • 50 John W. Howell August 10, 2015 at 21:48

        Ha ha ha.

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke August 11, 2015 at 19:12

        *bows*

  6. 52 Louis from VA August 5, 2015 at 20:25

    No! Not the newspaper!

    • 53 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2015 at 20:54

      Can you imagine? Makes me cranky.

      • 54 Louis from VA August 8, 2015 at 15:12

        I’d be more than cranky! The nerve! I can just imagine how I’d feel if he shredded my blog.
        Maybe you can turn these people chasing you against Mr. Manahanny with your expert negotiation skills? It would be something to see DS call him cur-sauce.

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke August 9, 2015 at 18:22

        You’re right! I should convince DS to go there and cause trouble. Time to get TNT.

      • 56 Louis from VA August 11, 2015 at 15:04

        The injustice shall not be allowed to continue!

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke August 11, 2015 at 19:25

        Quite right! War!!

  7. 58 walt walker August 5, 2015 at 17:34

    Oh good choice! Run him through!

    • 59 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2015 at 20:53

      Thank, Walt, my man! I knew you’d want the deed done.

      • 60 walt walker August 6, 2015 at 22:49

        Please confirm with me when done. Thanks.

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2015 at 20:30

        I will. Do you have something against the chap?

      • 62 walt walker August 7, 2015 at 21:12

        Nah. Just being ridiculous.

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke August 9, 2015 at 18:09

        *laughing* The perfect reason. I was just supposing that maybe he’d stolen your boomerang in the past.

  8. 64 Princess Kick-ass August 5, 2015 at 17:33

    I wanna dress a mushroom!

    PS: You got an award: https://princesskickass.wordpress.com/2015/08/05/another-award-yasssss/

    • 65 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2015 at 20:52

      *laughs* Do you like mushrooms? Thanks bunches!

  9. 66 FictionFan August 5, 2015 at 16:45

    Mushrooms?!!!!!!!!! Why, you penguin, you – how dare you! There is nothing more elegant than a beautiful ballgown *smooths her own and admires her reflection in the handily positioned mirror*

    *shakes head sadly* Are even the elderly not immune from your dreadful flirtatiousness, you fickle philanderer? I’m so glad the lady had the maturity and wisdom not to be taken in by your charm…or your pants!

    I wonder if Julia’s ponytail bobs even quicker when she’s angry…

    You can’t charge the King! You’ll never get a knighthood this way, you know, you know…

    • 67 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2015 at 20:52

      *laughing* I suppose that’s what ladies think. But I tell you they look just a bit ridiculous. But so do the dressy suits. So all’s even. Just wear t-shirts, I say.

      My pants nuttin’! Now look here, she attacked me first. I didn’t flirt with her. I merely complimented her on her age.

      I bet so! Up and down and up and down. And even across!

      You mean I shouldn’t kill him?

      • 68 FictionFan August 6, 2015 at 23:14

        *narrows eyes dangerously* Is my C-W-W suggesting that FF looks ridiculous in her beautiful tartan ballgown? Think carefully before you answer, Pingu…

        But… weren’t you wearing your cargo pants then? How did you manage to carry all your gadgets around? You did too – you bowed! That’s just typical Professorial flirting technique! I bet you’d have offered her some cashews if she’d given you the chance… *growls*

        *laughs* I almost feel sorry for her now – that must be so tiring!

        No! Just throw him to the crocodiles in the moat!

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2015 at 20:33

        Well, I’ve never seen you in your tartan ballgown, and I sorta doubt you have one, madam! But…yes, I suppose I am. See? Wasn’t that bad.

        I might’ve been. I really can’t remember. If they were on the floor when I woke, I was wearing them, for sure. I always bow a bit. It’s a good technique. Would not! I’d eat some, though, if she offered them.

        It must be. But I’m not sure if it is, really.

        *laughs* How dreadfully wicked of you!

      • 70 FictionFan August 8, 2015 at 14:55

        Very bad! Mean, in fact! But when you’re mean to me, I just assume it’s because I’m special… *brave little face*

        I don’t believe that! I suspect the Professor is extrememly neat and tidy, just like his hair! *growls* Yes, I bet you would!

        You should cut it off just in case…

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke August 9, 2015 at 18:21

        *laughs* Okay, then, I’m sure you look stunning in it! How’s that?

        Funny you should know that. But yes, never clothes on my floor, actually. Everything goes where it belongs or out the window.

        Her ponytail? I wouldn’t touch it!

      • 72 FictionFan August 10, 2015 at 15:58

        *laughs* It would have been perfect if only it had sounded sincere!

        *nods* Mic told me! But don’t throw all your clothes out the window – I’m not sure the John Carter look would suit you…

        Just slice it with the katana then!

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke August 10, 2015 at 20:38

        Well, it was! I just don’t give out compliments, see. Because orcs don’t do that sort of thing.

        Did he? The beast. *laughs* I’d look good with a sword belt and all those medals! They had very cool swords. I would’ve stolen them.

        I might get her neck!

      • 74 FictionFan August 10, 2015 at 22:52

        Well, you should practice! On me… *nods decidedly*

        You would! *swoons a little* But remember he wore a skirt! I’d have stolen one of the little airship thingies…

        That would of course be tragic, but into each life some rain must fall…

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke August 11, 2015 at 19:14

        On you? Okay…you look like a rose. How’s that?

        I’d wear cargo pants and a muscleman shirt. Yes! I’d go with you. You could drive.

        Unless you live in Pitt or Scotland, then a lot of rain falls.

      • 76 FictionFan August 11, 2015 at 23:12

        *laughs lots* Not bad, for a first attempt! Now you have to throw in some adjectives and stuff…

        Ooh, yes! We could go to the land of the purple martians – they must be lonely, no-one ever visits them! Can Woola come too?

        *laughs* So true! I was watching the weather report earlier and apparently we’ve had a third more rain than usual this ‘summer’ – and we usually have lots!

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke August 12, 2015 at 21:19

        Like…you look like a red rose? That’s a step backwards, in my honest opinion, you know.

        Yes! Let’s go. Well…if you clean up after him!

        Haha! That’s hilarious. Good excuse for not going out and doing certain things…

      • 78 FictionFan August 13, 2015 at 00:15

        *laughs lots and lots* I’m forced to agree! I think you have to lead up to it more subtly, maybe… see, ‘when I look at you, I feel the way I do when I see a beautiful red balloon in the sky – as if my heart could take flight and follow it to heaven…’ sounds so much better than ‘you look like a balloon’, don’t you think? *chuckles wickedly and passes Prof a sick bag*

        Good noodles! That is sooo definitely a man’s job!!!

        Dadblameit!!! *screams and stamps on camera*

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke August 14, 2015 at 13:24

        Like that?! I’d never think of how to go about something like that. I’d need a cheat sheet. It’s too long of a compliment, see. But, still, I think, “you look like a rose” is better. Of course, I’m not sure how a person could look like a rose, though. That’s the tough part. But, still, it sounds nice, if you think about it quickly enough.

        Oh no! Not me. That’s…your new job!

        *laughing lots and enjoys the hissy fit*

      • 80 FictionFan August 14, 2015 at 19:41

        *shakes head despairingly* You’re so… male! But it’ll all come naturally when Cupid’s arrow strikes… you’ll probably start writing love poetry then…

        Uh-uh! Nope! You said I could fly the thingy, so I’ll be too busy…

        *makes a Kenny-snorty noise in the Professor’s direction*

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 00:13

        Of course I am! And mean, too. I doubt it. I’d probably get even worse at compliments then. If someone plays some sort of music, I can usually compliment convincingly. But on looks? I’m hopeless.

        I’ll kick him off, then…

        Love it!

      • 82 FictionFan August 18, 2015 at 15:40

        So in order to get a Professorial compliment it’s necessary to learn to play an instrument? Good noodles! *sighs huffily and orders “Kazoo for Dummies”*

        Woola and I have decided you’re not coming… that way, there’ll be room for a large litter tray…

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 17:26

        Or write rhymes that are excellent!

        Fine then. Take the dog. I’ll stay behind and till the weeds.

      • 84 FictionFan August 19, 2015 at 16:06

        *laughs* Then I shall attempt to do so one day…

        Ooh, could you do the ones in my garden too? Thanks!

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke August 19, 2015 at 21:39

        You already did!

        I might actually film in your garden. Or steal your car and drive to the ocean.

      • 86 FictionFan August 20, 2015 at 14:08

        You’d steal my car and go to the ocean… without me?! Cruel and heartless…

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke August 21, 2015 at 00:36

        I would! If I could find the keys and could manage to drive…that way!

  10. 88 Simply Skeptical August 5, 2015 at 16:28

    Hee, hee some famous characters at this party. How dare they (whoever) would chase such a dear one as the Professor! This is preposterous! Unheard of! Appeal to the King I say…

    • 89 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2015 at 20:50

      The king might get run threw soon, I fear. And it must be done.

  11. 90 Debbie August 5, 2015 at 15:30

    Golly, this must be the shortest-lived newspaper in history, Professor! Yes, the ponytail girl needs to go. If she can’t at least be civil to the boss, what must she be like to ordinary callers? I’m most disappointed in her — I had high hopes, you know.

    Interesting party, I think, though I can’t imagine what you mean when you say the ladies were wearing mushrooms. Is that something new and stylish in the PL?? Oh, and do all the people in your stories have beautiful blue eyes??!

    Poor Arthur. I hope he’s wearing his running shoes, rather than something silly like pointy-toed boots. Say, Professor, are you now leading the rebellion?!!

    • 91 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2015 at 20:50

      Yes, isn’t it awful? Rats. Well, not all hope is lost. Don’t you think I might be able to fix it?

      Lots of them have blue eyes–like blueberries. And most of them have bright blue eyes. That’s why I recommend sunglasses at all time, see. A mushroom…you know, one of those circle dresses.

      No…I’m just fighting is all…he betrayed me after all.

  12. 92 fauquetmichel August 5, 2015 at 15:25

    ….I continue :……
    …. and the professor charged , cut the mushooms with his katana and made an omelette with the penguins’eggs!!! :)
    In friendship
    Michel

    • 93 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2015 at 20:48

      *laughing lots* That is a good one. I’ll have a piece, will you?

  13. 94 Susan P August 5, 2015 at 15:14

    Dear me. Perhaps something a little less violent? Someone might be killed.

    • 95 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2015 at 20:46

      But he betrayed me, didn’t he?

      • 96 Susan P August 7, 2015 at 01:08

        I don’t remember. What apprehended?

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2015 at 20:35

        Well, he ran and left me to defend Ruber.

      • 98 Susan P August 7, 2015 at 21:21

        That must have been fun. What do you do for an encore? Lock yourself up in DS’s hut?

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke August 9, 2015 at 18:11

        Eat peaches and talk about plums.

      • 100 Susan P August 13, 2015 at 20:03

        Where do you get them?

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke August 14, 2015 at 13:41

        From this rotting tree, can you believe.

      • 102 Susan P August 14, 2015 at 22:13

        I believe everything you tell me. *walks away screaming with laughter*

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 00:17

        Oh ha hue! I see you’re laughing me to scorn!

      • 104 Susan P August 18, 2015 at 13:33

        What? how can you think so?

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 17:19

        Just a bit, aren’t you?

      • 106 Susan P August 18, 2015 at 18:17

        What am I?

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke August 19, 2015 at 21:31

        I’ll…beat someone!

      • 108 Susan P August 20, 2015 at 13:19

        You should take up making bread by hand. It will take some of the aggression you harbor.

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke August 21, 2015 at 00:33

        *laughs* It might make me a mollycoddle!

      • 110 Susan P August 21, 2015 at 11:03

        Or Super Professor.

  14. 111 PorterGirl August 5, 2015 at 15:01

    Bad news about the newspaper, Professor. You need someone more vicious than Julia to keep an eye on things whilst you are off being hunted by a rebellion. A castle with a party – they seem to be most common in TPL! Which is super. At least you were wearing some clothes, even if they are not quite fancy enough. Parties where people wear no clothes are a different matter entirely, I am thinking. Now… what can Arthur be up to? The swine! I hope you run him through!

    • 112 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2015 at 20:45

      I know! She feel apart, the monster. I’ll have to fire her, I fear.

      Very common! I’m just wearing a t-shirt and stuff. Nothing too too fancy. Now, do you suppose I should show him any mercy?

      • 113 PorterGirl August 7, 2015 at 04:13

        Fire her and cut off her ponytail, I say.
        Show pretend mercy… and then strike!

      • 114 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2015 at 20:37

        And then–glue it to the back of my head and I’ll have a ponytail!

      • 115 PorterGirl August 8, 2015 at 06:26

        Let the vicious swishing commence!!

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke August 9, 2015 at 18:17

        And ruffling!

      • 117 PorterGirl August 9, 2015 at 20:10

        Oooh yes – we must not forget the ruffling! *ruffle ruffle*

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke August 10, 2015 at 20:34

        It’s my version of the swish!

      • 119 PorterGirl August 11, 2015 at 04:15

        And very nice it is too.

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke August 11, 2015 at 19:15

        And a bit warriorish.

      • 121 PorterGirl August 11, 2015 at 19:43

        Yes, quite a bit in fact.

      • 122 Professor VJ Duke August 12, 2015 at 21:17

        Oh! That’s even better than I thought.


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