Bernie Sanders Surrenders the Stage (TPL Story)

So, the professor soon made his way to my business: PT News.

Surrounded and looked down upon by lots of other stinky mean buildings, PT News could easily be missed…if you’re a cricket or something.

Cricket-2

Now, here’s the thing: When the professor approached the building, and ascended the stairs to the door, I saw a disturbing thingy, really.

images

Now, you must understand, PT News is rarely closed, and especially not at this time of day.

Then I saw this sign:

410

The professor was gardoobled, you must understand. Maybe a bit irate. And definitely in the need to be violent.

I looked about and that’s when I saw two chaps in black suits coming up the stairs.

“Sir,” one said, “you need to move.”

“Yes,” the other said, “there’s going to be a rally in front of this building.”

“And,” the other continued, “the speaker will be speaking from where you’re standing.”

Almost immediately Bernie Sanders appeared, followed by a large crowd, I fear.

F4

This rally took place in the 1320s, but this is close to what it looked like, only two things: there weren’t that many people and it wasn’t B&W.

Bernie started speaking immediately, once I was shoved to the side. In fact, he opened up with this line:

“It is time for us to make America great again!”

Now, I’m sure that’s all good, proper, and sweet, but the fact is, this professor didn’t care five winks about that, at the minute. You see, my business had been stolen and sold under my very watchful ears, and I needed to do something about it.

I was in luck too, as it turns out.

Here’s a fact: at a Bernie rally, the mic is open. That means, you can just go and grab it, if you want.

So I did.

After all, one of persons in the audience could possibly know a thing or two about PT News and its selling.

This professor walked up.

“Excuse me, Bernie,” I said.

“What the…!”

The security didn’t mind, it’s normal, after all.

I stepped up to the mic.

“Big applause for this man here,” I said, pointing to Bernie. “Now, while he worries about making America great, we must needs do something. Does any of you know what happened to PT News? Who sold it? Who bought it?”

There were some mutterings.

Then as one, they turned and pointed to Archiving News. Mr. Manahanny’s building.

“He’d know,” they suggested.

“Thanks bunches and then some,” I said. “This rally is now over.”

And it was.

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113 Responses to “Bernie Sanders Surrenders the Stage (TPL Story)”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 October 2, 2015 at 03:03

    Sorry I missed the rally. I was in Belgium with Agatha Christie. It sounds as if it was magnificent!

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 13:37

      With AC? How was it?

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 October 2, 2015 at 13:47

        It was rather fun. I had coffee ice cream, which was delicious.

  2. 4 The Lite Rider August 16, 2015 at 18:28

    How, how, how did this happen?! Bernie just made things worse, what the the instant event being of utmost importance. Good on you for taking over the mic! What is going to happen now?! That this was done without your knowing means some PL’rs may be up to no good.

    • 5 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 00:21

      I should storm something somewhere! Was I too mean to Bernie? That mic was inviting, see.

      • 6 The Lite Rider August 18, 2015 at 13:19

        Nah, you weren’t mean to Bernie. Ha, ha. He needs that sort of thing. ;-)

      • 7 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 17:18

        Keeps him on his toes, right?

  3. 8 Lady Dunamis August 16, 2015 at 17:54

    This is what happens when your are gallivanting up and down the landscapes of TPL. Perhaps Trump can help you turn this to your advantage? What think ye?

    • 9 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 00:20

      I hope. Do you suppose he’ll have speaks with me?

      • 10 Lady Dunamis August 18, 2015 at 00:42

        Only if you have something worthwhile to say. Like how will your newspaper contribute to creating employment and building up the wall in Mexico…lol

      • 11 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 17:15

        Well, we never have something terribly useful to say. Though I try every other day, you should know.

      • 12 Lady Dunamis August 18, 2015 at 18:15

        Then you are ahead of most of the human race.👏

      • 13 Professor VJ Duke August 19, 2015 at 21:31

        *bows and bows*

  4. 14 Nancy Loderick August 16, 2015 at 16:13

    Hi Professor,

    Oh dear doesn’t quite do it, does it! I wonder who bought the PL? Perhaps it shall remain one of life’s great mysteries.

    Or, maybe this is sign that you are destined for greater things!

    Nancy

    • 15 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 00:20

      You could be right. But still, Nancy, someone needs sued, don’t you think?

      • 16 Nancy Loderick August 19, 2015 at 20:58

        Well Professor,

        Absolutely! No question of that.

        Nancy

      • 17 Professor VJ Duke August 19, 2015 at 21:43

        *bows lots and lots*

  5. 18 Simply Skeptical August 14, 2015 at 01:15

    This made me giggle loudly, very loudly. Only the Professor could have the PT News sold under his watchful ears! Go get the rascals and listen to what you see.

    • 19 Professor VJ Duke August 14, 2015 at 13:42

      I shall take out his eyes!

  6. 20 walt walker August 14, 2015 at 00:59

    I like how the crowd turned as one to point at the Manahanny building. That’s some nice imagery, and funny. But I wonder why everyone knew except for you? Debbie is right, and so is fauguetmichel, you know. How are today’s batch of pickles?

    • 21 Professor VJ Duke August 14, 2015 at 13:42

      I know. You’d think someone on the inside was helping out. Do you suppose it was Julia?

  7. 22 Susan P August 13, 2015 at 19:46

    I have a bad feeling about this. A very bad feeling. There is something rotten in Denmark. In fact, I am gathering up all of the canned tuna I can find. And I am going to straiten up my bomb shelter. If you can’t find me, I’m probably there.

    • 23 Professor VJ Duke August 14, 2015 at 13:40

      Can I come and stay? I need a bomb shelter. I’m thinking that doctor chap from that movie is going to set off a bomb.

      • 24 Susan P August 14, 2015 at 22:17

        Well, I invited FF for wine and chocolate. If you can handle a room full of women you are welcome.

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 00:18

        Will you two speak on good stuff? Like hunting and killing?

      • 26 Susan P August 18, 2015 at 13:41

        It is a sequestered meeting. No one can know anything until we have a Consensus.

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 17:20

        A consensus on what, though?

      • 28 Susan P August 18, 2015 at 18:20

        The Party.

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke August 19, 2015 at 21:32

        Well, then.

  8. 30 Heartafire August 13, 2015 at 15:56

    Perhaps you are the victim of eminent domain Professor. It happened to me!
    Oh, there is no stopping the evil-doers!

    • 31 Professor VJ Duke August 14, 2015 at 13:39

      Will you help me sort this, Hollie? You must be brutally vicious, too.

      • 32 Heartafire August 14, 2015 at 14:09

        I was able to work this out with the State with a very sad poem. They are bush league. If you need a poem, let me know.

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 00:09

        I think I need one, Hollie.

      • 34 Heartafire August 18, 2015 at 02:06

        say no more, I’m on the job. My poetry can make a grown man cry.

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 17:16

        Sweet! I’m sure it’s awesome.

      • 36 Heartafire August 18, 2015 at 19:34

        well, it makes people cry…what does that mean? :-)

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke August 19, 2015 at 21:33

        It’s very moving or suffering?

      • 38 Heartafire August 19, 2015 at 21:44

        people tend to suffer and then move away.

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke August 21, 2015 at 00:13

        *laughs* That’s a good one, Hollie.

      • 40 Heartafire August 21, 2015 at 00:23

        :-)

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke August 21, 2015 at 00:43

        *bows*

  9. 42 John W. Howell August 13, 2015 at 15:54

    Dadblamit. How could this happen?

    • 43 Professor VJ Duke August 14, 2015 at 13:38

      I’m not sure! Is it Brady’s revenge, do you suppose?

      • 44 John W. Howell August 14, 2015 at 16:21

        Ratsous. Not sure.

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 00:11

        What a word interest. I bet it could be, you know.

      • 46 John W. Howell August 18, 2015 at 12:49

        Nice word to say to express frustration with a situation. Not just rats but ratsous. The active continuance of the situation could be called ratsousness.

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 17:18

        *laughs* I love it. Should we add it to PA?

      • 48 John W. Howell August 18, 2015 at 18:55

        Might be useful later.

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke August 19, 2015 at 21:33

        I shall do it, then.

      • 50 John W. Howell August 19, 2015 at 22:03

        Yay. We can now describe Ratsousness behavior. As in the pony-tailed girl talked to the Professor in a ratsous manner

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke August 21, 2015 at 00:19

        I love that so much! You’re right on with this. She’s a rat and has ratsous behavior.

      • 52 John W. Howell August 21, 2015 at 12:32

        Yup. There is also skunkunctious. (smelly oily)

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke August 21, 2015 at 17:03

        Goodness. So, is this when someone doesn’t bathe?

      • 54 John W. Howell August 21, 2015 at 18:24

        A skunkunctious one is dirty no matter how many baths

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke August 22, 2015 at 17:21

        Just added them to PA! Great to have them. I know a few people like that, you know.

  10. 56 fauquetmichel August 13, 2015 at 15:48

    I am admiring your imagination and you ability to write stories that look like dream
    In frienship
    Michel

    • 57 Professor VJ Duke August 14, 2015 at 13:38

      Why thank you, Michel, my man. I do appreciate it.

  11. 58 FictionFan August 13, 2015 at 15:23

    Mic’s been stolen?!? Oh no! Forget your paper for the moment – we must find Mic! I suspect it’s all a plot by these devilish politicians to stop you printing the dadblamed truth about them in your paper! For instance, it’s crystal clear from the picture on his Wiki page that Bernie Sanders has been poorly stuffed by a crooked taxidermist – probably mob-related! The people should be told! And it’s a well-known fact that Donald Trump’s hair is actually a secret device for communicating with aliens – or Colts fans!

    Get after that scoundrel Macaronihinny now, Prof!! Your country needs you! Poor Mic…

    • 59 Professor VJ Duke August 14, 2015 at 13:37

      *laughing lots and lots* Taxidermist! That is so hilarious. And cruel! Now, if Trump is communicating with Colts fan, that means he might be behind the Patriots getting trouble! Could this be? I’ll clear out his intestines immediately!

      Do you like Mic lots?

      • 60 FictionFan August 14, 2015 at 19:58

        Well if he’s not been stuffed, explain why he looks like that! See? You can’t! I’m sure he’s behind it all – he’s probably jealous ‘cos he can’t grow an Edelman! Just tug off his transmittor device – that should finish him…

        I adore him! He looks like a rose.

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 00:17

        *laughing* I love how you’re ripping good ol’ Bernie. It makes me sorta fuzzy, for some strange reason. I’m going to grow and edelman, I’ve decided!

        *laughing lots* Good one, you rose!

      • 62 FictionFan August 18, 2015 at 16:04

        See how well you’ve taught me? *preens* NO YOU ARE NOT!!! There, that’s that decided!

        *curtseys and laughs too*

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 17:29

        I like it when you get all masterful, it’s so… Hmm, can’t say that. Now, look here, I’d look good with one!

      • 64 FictionFan August 19, 2015 at 16:18

        *laughs* Ooh, so near! And yet so far! Nonsense! No-one looks good with one! Except George…

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke August 19, 2015 at 21:42

        George and…me! I’d look so much meaner.

      • 66 FictionFan August 20, 2015 at 14:19

        You would not! You’d just look cute and adorable and hairy! *gives that thought some serious consideration and almost smiles*

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke August 21, 2015 at 00:39

        I’m sorta hairy now. I think I need a haircut.

      • 68 FictionFan August 21, 2015 at 18:26

        You’ve got a way to go yet before you reach Kenny levels. But clean-shaven – like it!!

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke August 22, 2015 at 17:22

        I’m always clean shaven!

  12. 70 Debbie August 13, 2015 at 15:07

    If you’re the owner both of the TPL News and the building it operates out of, neither can be sold legally without your consent. You know that, right?? Even the sniveling Mr. Manahanny can’t do that without getting himself arrested!

    As for the rally, well, it didn’t amount to much, did it? Those people probably would’ve rather listened to you rant on about something (anything!) than hear another speech from a career politician. Depressing how this stuff seems to start earlier and earlier every election year. I must hand it to you, though — super job at cleaning out a crowd!

    • 71 Professor VJ Duke August 14, 2015 at 13:36

      You’re right, Debbie! Always the voice of reason. But then…it’s just a sham? ‘Cause it looks sorta sold, see.

      I took over the rally! After all, a rally on the steps is bound to be a rotten rally, don’t you suppose?

      • 72 Debbie August 14, 2015 at 17:25

        Perhaps somebody forged your name on the legal documents?? Why, that alone could send them to prison. Watch your back, Professor!!

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 00:11

        I know, dadblameit! Can you come sue them for me?

  13. 74 bardictale August 13, 2015 at 14:56

    Professor, I do applaud your quick thinking and good use of your faculties and resources! Would you like some assistance in storming the castle? I can bring food and tea.

    • 75 Professor VJ Duke August 14, 2015 at 13:35

      I would love some help! Will you bring cherry tea? And maybe one weapon?

      • 76 bardictale August 15, 2015 at 22:08

        With pleasure!
        What type of weapon?

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 00:19

        How about…a cannon!

      • 78 bardictale August 18, 2015 at 09:16

        Hmm. A bit bulky to my taste. I think I shall bring my saber.

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 17:18

        Litesaber?

      • 80 bardictale August 19, 2015 at 20:33

        Hmm. Perhaps. I need to choose which one…

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke August 19, 2015 at 21:43

        Is it purple or pink?

      • 82 bardictale August 19, 2015 at 21:50

        Purple, I think. I should check with the armory.

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke August 21, 2015 at 00:16

        I should get you a red one!

      • 84 bardictale August 22, 2015 at 21:49

        Oh? Not mauve?

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke August 24, 2015 at 19:47

        Now what is mauve?

      • 86 bardictale August 25, 2015 at 17:06

        It’s a color, of course.

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke August 26, 2015 at 12:16

        Is it pinkish?

      • 88 bardictale August 26, 2015 at 17:32

        More red. Depends who you ask

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke August 26, 2015 at 21:02

        I like the more red answer, I must confess.

      • 90 bardictale August 30, 2015 at 06:23

        Oh?

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke August 31, 2015 at 19:57

        The more red the better!

      • 92 bardictale September 1, 2015 at 21:04

        Red tea?

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:42

        I love it, I think. Has a weird name, though, that’s unpronounceable.

      • 94 bardictale September 1, 2015 at 21:43

        That makes it all the more interesting^^

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:44

        Very good point!

  14. 96 desertdweller29 August 13, 2015 at 13:44

    This is odd indeed, Professor! Bernie Sanders?! Well I say it was a perfect time to grab an exclusive. It’s no surprise the PL News is floundering a bit. Ask him for styling tips, or something that will throw him off his game so that it will be as sensational as Trump’s hair! Wasn’t there a good heckler to begin a brawl? Something shocking must go down! People just can’t take over your building!

    • 97 Professor VJ Duke August 14, 2015 at 13:35

      What was Bernie doing in front of my building? Do you suppose he’s behind the selling of it? The shnivel. Now, do you suppose TPL is floundering ’cause I cover the Patriots too much? That could be it.

      Is Trump’s hair red or yellow? I can’t tell.

      • 98 desertdweller29 August 14, 2015 at 16:05

        To know the answer to the questionable hair color of The Donald, puts you in grave dangerous, Professor. No one knows the answer because it’s a Shape Shifter, you see. Not of this planet. When no one is looking, it moves and changes color — blond, red, orange and white. It has a life and breath of its own! And is said to have declared bankruptcy. However, the truth may be that it left him years ago after serving him with a lawsuit. Either way, it’s all a coverup!

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 00:10

        *laughing lots* That is…such a wily paragraph! I think…it’s like my hair!

      • 100 desertdweller29 August 14, 2015 at 16:07

        Perhaps this could be a lead story… Just make sure the paper goes underground afterwards…

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 00:11

        How far underground, though?

  15. 102 PorterGirl August 13, 2015 at 13:22

    *shocked face* Why, that bugger has stolen your newspaper while you were out facing rebellions and… erm… going to a party. Even so, it is a pretty poor show. I say that lots of violence is needed, very quickly. That is sure to solve it.

    • 103 Professor VJ Duke August 14, 2015 at 13:33

      I know! What should be done? I think Julia sold it, too, the sudden. Isn’t this awful?

      • 104 PorterGirl August 14, 2015 at 13:45

        I had such high hopes of Julia and her ponytail, too. I say you storm over there and have speaks with him! Big, loud speaks that possibly include fists! There needs to be a fight and that’s for certain.

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 00:08

        A big, mean, loud, nasty sort of fight, you’re right. Julia…imagine! The…rat and worm she is!

      • 106 PorterGirl August 18, 2015 at 04:15

        That sounds just the ticket! As for Julia – the rat-worm! Throw her in a pit.

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2015 at 17:16

        With angry dentures, or something. She might even break an arm, getting thrown in.

      • 108 PorterGirl August 18, 2015 at 17:42

        I hope she breaks her backside clean in two! If such a thing is even possible.

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke August 19, 2015 at 21:27

        *laughing* It probably already has a crack in it…

      • 110 PorterGirl August 20, 2015 at 04:10

        *laughing so much a bit of wee comes out*

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke August 21, 2015 at 00:22

        Oh I’m sorry! Look what I”m doing!!!

      • 112 PorterGirl August 21, 2015 at 07:21

        You are far too entertaining, you know. I forgive you, of course. But mainly because of my wonderful hat.

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke August 21, 2015 at 16:56

        Yes, yes. The hat so changes everything. Goodness me!


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