I Bought A Submarine (TPL Story)

This professor must make a confession: I change suddenly and unexpectedly for unknown reasons.

My analysts are still trying to work it out.

But anyways and some…this is what happened: I sold PT News.

PT News Logo

Yes, I did.

But I didn’t sell it to our competitor Mike Manahanny at Archiving News.

I sold it to one of the employees, but that’s not important, see.

This is the interesting part.

I bought a submarine with the money I got from PT News.

images

This is not it.

images-1

This is more like it, I fear.

See, I’m all into the underwater diving experience, and since I don’t like getting wet, the sub is perfect.

dreamstime_10552348

Underwater experience I was hoping for.

dreamstime_14617601

Underwater experience I’d probably get. (That’s a picture of me, by the way.)

So, the package (the sub was in the package) was delivered at my door. And I was excited about it.

So was my neighbor, for the chap came over.

“What’s in there?”

He said it gruffly as if he had a right to know.

Now, this professor said the first thing that popped into his mind, and I shouldn’t have. But I speak before thinking, see.

A good rule to follow: Have thinks before you have speaks; have speaks after you have thinks.

“Looks like a walrus is in there,” he said. “So…what is in there?”

“My wife.”

And I said it from the depths of my…something or another.

He wasn’t even taken aback. The chap just nodded and nodded.

“Yup,” he said, “I’ve heard about that, sending away for a wife. Good thing they send a container with them.”

And he cast a nervous glance back towards his house.

“Gotta go. Wife will be wondering about me.”

Then he stood there.

Rats and a Heifer.

Don’t you hate, PF, when you must give the closing comment to a conversation? I never know what to say, in truth.

So I said: “Go in peace, my love.”

He left real quick.

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236 Responses to “I Bought A Submarine (TPL Story)”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 October 2, 2015 at 02:46

    Quick thinking, Professor! I applaud you!

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 13:34

      *bows* I must admit, it was quick for me.

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 October 2, 2015 at 13:52

        And well done. ;-)

  2. 4 Lady Dunamis September 3, 2015 at 16:15

    You could have invested a portion of your funds in good growth mutual funds you know. Just in case an economic crisis hits TPL. 🏧

    • 5 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 23:09

      Look at that picture! So jealous. Anyways and a few, very true. TPL’s economy has been dropping, don’t you know.

      • 6 Lady Dunamis September 3, 2015 at 23:39

        Bummer! Pretty soon your sub will be on eBay.

      • 7 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2015 at 12:06

        Would you buy it up?

      • 8 Lady Dunamis September 4, 2015 at 12:32

        Nope.

      • 9 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2015 at 19:49

        Just a nope? Party pooper.

      • 10 Lady Dunamis September 4, 2015 at 19:52

        😜

      • 11 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2015 at 20:04

        That’s how I look sometimes.

  3. 12 Louis from VA September 2, 2015 at 11:23

    You sold it? Well darn, Professor. That’s sad. At least now you can give Mr. Manahanny quite a shock if he ever decides to go scuba diving.

    • 13 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:50

      *laughing* I love that! I could ram him or something. I’m sure you’d ram if you had a sub, so don’t you judge me! I’ve been waiting to ram.

      • 14 Louis from VA September 7, 2015 at 03:31

        Make sure you get the heavy-duty model. Might crack the glass on that hard head of his.

      • 15 Professor VJ Duke September 7, 2015 at 15:35

        *laughs* Always the voice of reason. It’s a deal.

  4. 16 fauquetmichel September 2, 2015 at 10:30

    Probably you will paint it yellow like the Beatles did in England many years ago! :)
    In friendship
    Michel

    • 17 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:49

      *laughing* Only I shall have a rainbow on mine.

  5. 18 Simply Skeptical September 1, 2015 at 23:40

    “Go in peace my love”. Ha, ha, ha… I think I’d leave quickly too. Laughing lots…..

    • 19 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:43

      I shall remember that… *laughs*

  6. 20 bardictale September 1, 2015 at 21:24

    A submarine! Oh, the sights! That is a good purchase, I say

    • 21 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:42

      How about a ride?

      • 22 bardictale September 1, 2015 at 21:45

        That would be swell, professor!

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:39

        Let’s do it then. We can hunt squid.

      • 24 bardictale September 3, 2015 at 05:17

        What would we do with a squid?

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 12:51

        Eat it?

      • 26 bardictale September 3, 2015 at 18:49

        But…why?

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 23:13

        Well, I don’t know. Some people like squid. I don’t, personally.

  7. 28 Nancy Loderick September 1, 2015 at 20:47

    Hey Professor,

    I just have one question for you: will you be able to take your guitar with you when you go in your submarine?

    Or, have you sold your guitar too and decided to completely redo your life?

    Nancy

    • 29 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:41

      Oh no, the guitar I shall keep and the katana and the cherry sucker supply. So…what think you of my sub?

      • 30 Nancy Loderick September 3, 2015 at 15:54

        Hey Professor,

        Well, it is a sub. It looks just fine. I must admit I don’t have anything to compare it to, not being familiar with subs. But it looks good to me!

        Nancy

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 23:09

        Would you go for a dive in it?

      • 32 Nancy Loderick September 7, 2015 at 17:28

        WellProfessor,

        I don’t like the ocean. As a matter of fact, I am really scared of fish, any fish, even tiny ones. So I think that means that I won’t be going for a dive in your submarine. I would be happy to watch you do so from the safety of land though! :)

        Nancy

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2015 at 12:44

        But…but…but…the ocean won’t be able to touch you in the sub!

      • 34 Nancy Loderick September 8, 2015 at 16:14

        Yes Professor,

        But I may still be able to see the fish swimming around in the sub portholes! Or do subs not have portholes? :)

        Nancy

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke September 9, 2015 at 13:02

        We’ll close all the windows. I think Mr. Ken might like it.

      • 36 Nancy Loderick September 9, 2015 at 19:43

        Dear Professor,

        You are quite right about that. Mr. Ken is fascinated by submarines.

        Nancy

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2015 at 12:54

        Is he really? How interesting.

  8. 38 John W. Howell September 1, 2015 at 19:07

    Oh yes, I forgot the advice. Do not pull the stopper out of the tub or sink when you are under water.

    • 39 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:40

      Oh, my man, I’m going to the deep, blue ocean. I’m going to chase hurricanes.

      • 40 John W. Howell September 1, 2015 at 22:58

        Sounds fun.

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:42

        You say that now…I bet it’s scary.

      • 42 John W. Howell September 2, 2015 at 20:55

        Given the size of the sub scary is an understatement.

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 12:51

        So…you wouldn’t go for a ride?! Dadblameit.

      • 44 John W. Howell September 3, 2015 at 18:23

        I didn’t say that! I said scary is an understatement. I love scary.Dadblameit2.

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 23:12

        *laughing lots* Aha and oh! Dadblameit2!! Awesome word there. Love it. Okay, then, let’s go.

      • 46 John W. Howell September 4, 2015 at 00:56

        It has already been destroyed or was that a decoy you clever professor you.

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2015 at 12:11

        You mean, so no one would ever want to steal it? See, can’t steal what one thinks is destroyed.

  9. 48 John W. Howell September 1, 2015 at 19:05

    “Go in peace my love” touches every insecurity a person could have. Great statement.

    • 49 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:40

      *laughing lots and lots* You’re so right. Might garner a few slaps, too, I’m thinking.

      • 50 John W. Howell September 1, 2015 at 22:58

        From all fronts.

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:43

        *laughs* That’s why I need body armor.

      • 52 John W. Howell September 2, 2015 at 20:55

        And a Taser.

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 12:51

        Yes! I want to shoot a thing or two with that baby.

      • 54 John W. Howell September 3, 2015 at 18:24

        Get the one with the glow in the dark barbs. They look cool flying through the night.

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 23:12

        We could both have a go with it, just for kicks and giggles.

      • 56 John W. Howell September 4, 2015 at 00:55

        Would be a laugh alright.

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2015 at 12:10

        Especially if we got Schwarz!

  10. 58 Debbie September 1, 2015 at 17:26

    You’re right about the sudden changes, Professor — why, look at your blog’s background. Go ahead, it’s changed, too!

    I’m a bit disappointed about the sale of PT News, and I only hope you didn’t sell to that pony-tailed girl. She was much too inexperienced to run a newspaper, you know.

    But the sub-thingy looks amazing! You can have ALL kinds of adventures underwater. Can I assume you’ve got the proper equipment (cameras and such) because we’re naturally going to want to tag along?

    A rule to think before speaking can save one a lot of trouble, I’m thinking!

    • 59 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:39

      It has! Doesn’t it look like an apricot, the sudden?

      I know…but I did! I think she’ll do good. I was planning on destroying the building. You know, vandalizing it.

      Well…I’m not sure how to drive the beast, can you believe. I just have some guesses. I’ll have to play it by ear. Yes, I shall get a camera. We will be hunting sharks.

      I know…I’m so guilty of it…rats.

      • 60 Debbie September 1, 2015 at 22:57

        You did?? Gee, I was hoping Schwarz might be the new owner! Anyway, you don’t know how to drive your new sub? Remember what I said before, Google is your friend. You can find out most anything there — they’re bound to have directions for handling a sub. Hunting sharks? Oooh, fun — don’t forget the katana!

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:42

        Schwarz would run it well, huh? Quite right, I shall look on google. It can’t be that hard! *laughs* Well, I was thinking I needed a missile…

  11. 62 desertdweller29 September 1, 2015 at 16:35

    Did Walt not offer enough? Did you even give the man a chance? Now how will the PL family get its news? Looks like things really tanked. Literally.

    Good closing statement: “Off you go now.” Can’t go wrong with that. Gets the message across you’d rather be exploring sea anemones.

    • 63 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:38

      *laughing* Well, he offered a few dollars and not even the boomerang, can you believe?! Didn’t you, Walt? You know you did, you know! True about the news. I shall tell you little tidbits, then. Which I think is fair.

      I love that to many deaths! Do you suppose it might insult someone, though?

      • 64 desertdweller29 September 1, 2015 at 22:12

        Insulting? Has that ever stopped the Professor? No! Now off you go!

        *laughing lots*

        PS You were correct then not taking Walt’s offer. Not offering a boomerang will definitely come back to haunt him.

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:41

        *laughing* That’s true… I am an insulter of sorts. It’s fun, see.

        It will. It was a rubbish bargain.

    • 66 walt walker September 2, 2015 at 01:44

      I think he wanted ten dollars and the boomerang. I offered five and half the boomerang. I was negotiating, see. But the old man wouldn’t budge.

      • 67 desertdweller29 September 2, 2015 at 05:37

        Shrewd move. I would have offered a rat, a heifer and a quarter boomerang. I still don’t think the old man would budge.

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:46

        No, the old man wouldn’t budge. I’d need two boomerangs. Tell you what, DD and Walt, you both find and give me two boomerangs, I’ll get the newspaper for you both. That’s a deal now.

  12. 69 E. September 1, 2015 at 16:29

    I wish you many exciting adventures in your new sub! And if it is your wife and/or walrus in that package, I hope someone poked some air holes in the box! Things like air, don’t you know. Even submarines.

    • 70 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:37

      E!!! *laughs* Even subs? The buggers. But you’re right. I shall make sure there is a vent. But it should be a sub. Should be. After all, that’s what I paid for. Let’s hope it’s black.

      • 71 E. September 2, 2015 at 01:30

        Oh good, that sub deserves some air! I hope you get what you paid for, too! And black machines are sexy.

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:44

        Ooo, now you make me want a black one all the more! Would you dive in it, though? Water closing around one is very scary.

      • 73 E. September 2, 2015 at 18:46

        I’m not sure – it depends on how brave I am feeling, which depends on the day. Maybe if I had someone a little braver than me with me but that would make for a crowded sub!

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:52

        *laughing* I’m sure two could go in there! I’d offer to go, but like you, it depends on the day how brave I am. Right now, I’m thinking I’m a cowardly slug.

      • 75 E. September 2, 2015 at 18:53

        Maybe slugs are very brave! You never know. Now lemurs, as it turns out, are chickens (which is an oxymoron, because chickens are fearless don’t you know).

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 12:48

        Are chickens? I thought this might be the case. After all, they look proud about something. Lemurs…now, do they run from everything?

      • 77 E. September 3, 2015 at 15:19

        But of course! Why else would they hide in trees so tall?

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 23:07

        Ooooo…I’ve never thought on it like that before. You’re a genius, E.

      • 79 E. September 4, 2015 at 00:50

        Haha far from it – I merely observe. But thank you all the same!

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2015 at 12:09

        Well, if you’re far, imagine how far I am!

      • 81 E. September 5, 2015 at 00:20

        So far that you’ve made a complete circle?

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke September 7, 2015 at 15:25

        *laughs* Exactly! You are definitely sorting my mind here.

      • 83 E. September 8, 2015 at 02:59

        I do that, you know. *grin*

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2015 at 12:47

        *laughs* Do you? How awesome!

  13. 85 Susan P September 1, 2015 at 14:54

    Here now! What if you catch something from kissing him? From your description it seems likely.

    • 86 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:36

      Kissing the sub? I might do it. If it’s pretty. But it’s probably ugly, don’t you think?

      • 87 Susan P September 2, 2015 at 00:17

        Depends. Some are and some not. Beauty is in the eye of the sub.

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:44

        But eyes don’t have subs! Wait. Strike that and reverse it.

      • 89 Susan P September 2, 2015 at 20:33

        Wait…I have a stick to beat it.

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 12:50

        *laughing* I hope it’s a strong one.

      • 91 Susan P September 3, 2015 at 13:30

        I bought it from Ruber. He gave me a discount and said there is nothing like it.

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 23:04

        He might have swindled you.

      • 93 Susan P September 4, 2015 at 01:05

        Well, I took it out for a trial time, so if it doesn’t work I will throw it into the river and say I already turned it back in.

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2015 at 12:12

        Not beat Ruber at all? Very good of you, I say.

      • 95 Susan P September 5, 2015 at 13:28

        One likes to toss a penny at the peons on occasions.

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke September 7, 2015 at 15:31

        Can I have a go at it?

      • 97 Susan P September 7, 2015 at 21:36

        I have a jar full of pennies. How many do you need.

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2015 at 12:46

        DS has one of those, too, you know! How wild.

      • 99 Susan P September 8, 2015 at 15:01

        From three country?

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke September 9, 2015 at 12:59

        Do you seriously? Which three.

      • 101 Susan P September 9, 2015 at 13:35

        Portugal (of course) Germany, and Canada.

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2015 at 12:51

        I’d live in the mountains in Germany.

      • 103 Susan P September 10, 2015 at 13:19

        On the top of the Matterhorn? With your guitars?

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2015 at 12:24

        But just with one.

      • 105 Susan P September 12, 2015 at 14:41

        One is not enough to keep you warm in the winters.

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke September 14, 2015 at 23:38

        Well, two won’t do the job either, see.

      • 107 Susan P September 15, 2015 at 13:56

        Don’t you have an emergency igloo?

      • 108 Professor VJ Duke September 16, 2015 at 13:03

        I don’t. Can you build me one?

      • 109 Susan P September 17, 2015 at 14:09

        They don’t call that sort of thing an iglo0o in Florida. Can you build a shark?

      • 110 Professor VJ Duke September 20, 2015 at 00:26

        It would be an ugly shark.

      • 111 Susan P September 20, 2015 at 16:20

        That’s perfect!

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke September 23, 2015 at 19:17

        Then I can!

      • 113 Susan P September 23, 2015 at 21:05

        Don’t forget the hamsters.

      • 114 Professor VJ Duke September 24, 2015 at 12:30

        To feed to the sharks?

      • 115 Susan P September 24, 2015 at 15:45

        Oh no. Nothing like that. You don’t know why you need to take them?

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:10

        I’ve got no idea!

  14. 117 Heartafire September 1, 2015 at 14:46

    How impetuous of you Prof. You could have had a Russian bride. (no tomatoes from you Russian brides out there). Good luck on your sea-faring,
    I may catch a glimpse of you while I am out netting lobster, I will wave… btw, get used to sea food.

    • 118 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:36

      *laughs* What’s a Russian bride look like, Hollie? Yes, that’s right, you’re catching me some lobster. Now, why should I get used to it?

      • 119 Heartafire September 1, 2015 at 21:41

        I don’t know…I imagine there are some quite lovely Russian brides, but not many willing to hang out in a sub for long. You spent your money, get used to sea food (caught in a net)…:-) laugh out loud!

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:43

        *laughs* No, Hollie! But I only like crab–and in small quantities. You’ll have to smuggle me beef, please. So, you don’t think a bride would hang out in a sub? Dadblameit.

      • 121 Heartafire September 1, 2015 at 21:47

        I will need the katana to butcher up some beef for you, yummy. We can work it out somehow, no problem.

      • 122 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:40

        Okay… *hands it over* You will be careful, won’t you?

      • 123 Heartafire September 2, 2015 at 18:41

        of course, that’s my middle name…laughs and runs amok.

      • 124 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:51

        *laughing lots* Runs amok? That’s scary, the sudden.

      • 125 Heartafire September 2, 2015 at 18:55

        laugh out loud! You were not expecting that?

      • 126 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 12:48

        I was not, madam! You fooled me, I think.

      • 127 Heartafire September 3, 2015 at 13:02

        I kid, I am a kidder. I would never abscond with your katana.

      • 128 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 22:54

        But you like it, don’t you? You lust for it!

      • 129 Heartafire September 3, 2015 at 23:58

        as I said, I used it.

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2015 at 12:09

        You really know how to make a professor curious.

      • 131 Heartafire September 4, 2015 at 12:50

        I didn’t mean to leave you guessing , professor, Daddy Salami will not be a problem in the future :-). This certainly is a fine katana.

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2015 at 19:52

        *laughing* Oh, Hollie, you’re so wicked and such a warrior! But it’s not double-sided, though…

      • 133 Heartafire September 4, 2015 at 20:26

        I will only be needing one side, hopefully!

      • 134 Professor VJ Duke September 7, 2015 at 15:22

        But…but…why don’t you want the other side to be sharp?!

      • 135 Heartafire September 7, 2015 at 15:27

        I have to think about this one…got nothing.

      • 136 Professor VJ Duke September 7, 2015 at 15:36

        See? I win.

      • 137 Heartafire September 7, 2015 at 15:42

        you love that don’t you!

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2015 at 12:41

        *laughing* Must admit, I do!

      • 139 Heartafire September 8, 2015 at 13:25

        it’s not over till the fat lady sings

      • 140 Professor VJ Duke September 9, 2015 at 12:53

        *laughs* Love that!

      • 141 Heartafire September 9, 2015 at 12:54

        I still don’t hear her!

      • 142 Professor VJ Duke September 9, 2015 at 13:06

        Me neither! Make her go off.

      • 143 Heartafire September 9, 2015 at 13:10

        She will sing. In good time.

      • 144 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2015 at 12:47

        In five minutes?

      • 145 Heartafire September 10, 2015 at 14:08

        shhh, is that her now?

      • 146 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2015 at 12:27

        I hear her!

      • 147 Heartafire September 11, 2015 at 15:53

        oh, that her for sure!

      • 148 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2015 at 20:11

        I’m taping it.

      • 149 Heartafire September 11, 2015 at 20:51

        Tape everything professor, we can’t trust anyone!

      • 150 Professor VJ Duke September 14, 2015 at 23:32

        And she has a nice voice.

      • 151 Heartafire September 14, 2015 at 23:35

        They always do.

      • 152 Professor VJ Duke September 14, 2015 at 23:45

        Always always?

      • 153 Heartafire September 14, 2015 at 23:51

        when the fat lady sings, it’s a good thing.

      • 154 Professor VJ Duke September 16, 2015 at 12:49

        For everyone except the fat lady.

      • 155 Heartafire September 16, 2015 at 18:17

        she’s happy, she has a job. *I kill myself!

      • 156 Professor VJ Duke September 17, 2015 at 13:00

        You kill yourself?! You’re not allowed!

      • 157 Heartafire September 17, 2015 at 19:51

        I wouldn’t dream of it! die laughing at Punchy Lands maybe!

      • 158 Professor VJ Duke September 20, 2015 at 00:38

        *laughs* I shan’t allow that either! Though…it would be funny if that happened, you must admit.

      • 159 Heartafire September 20, 2015 at 00:52

        it would make for a good story line, too bad I would miss it.

      • 160 Professor VJ Duke September 23, 2015 at 19:12

        I would send it to you somehow. Probably in a letter.

      • 161 Heartafire September 24, 2015 at 02:39

        I don’t know how you will post anything from 20,000 leagues in your little sub but I have faith in you, find a way!

      • 162 Professor VJ Duke September 24, 2015 at 12:32

        *laughs* Do you think I should get a bigger sub? I think you do.

      • 163 Heartafire September 24, 2015 at 13:08

        I do, how will you accommodate guests, believe me they will be clamoring to
        to spend the summer with you. You could start a business, since you are in need of funds, sort of a bed and breakfast get-away to the reefs. Sign me up!

      • 164 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:05

        But…but…won’t you help me run it? I think I’d run it into the ground by myself, don’t you know.

      • 165 Heartafire September 25, 2015 at 13:48

        I would run a tight ship (or in this case a six by eight ft. sub), perhaps that is just what the good ship VJ Duke needs! I would also name the bed and breakfast and assign your duties. Are you onboard?

      • 166 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:07

        Yes, I am, madam! As long as my duties are fair and can be completed in five minutes.

      • 167 Heartafire September 26, 2015 at 13:32

        We’re on then. Ordering goose feather pillows and ruffly duvets (is that a word).

      • 168 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 19:01

        Awesome! *laughs* Yes, I think so, and if not, it should be!

      • 169 Heartafire September 27, 2015 at 20:29

        They are on order, hopefully not something that arrives in a suspicious brown box.

      • 170 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:15

        I always tear open suspicious brown boxes in search for guitars.

      • 171 Heartafire September 28, 2015 at 20:17

        I admire your guitar seat, its very cool. I got one for my friend, well, I bought him a gift certificate to a music store and he bought one for himself , so I assume they are good to have.

      • 172 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:24

        Isn’t that something awesome? It’s smallish, folds up, black. It’s like me, the sudden!

      • 173 Heartafire September 28, 2015 at 20:40

        I can see where it is a super good thing to have to play guitar. it’s brilliant!

      • 174 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 12:30

        Isn’t it? It’s super. I’ll let you sit in it for a minute.

      • 175 Heartafire September 29, 2015 at 14:16

        that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me…tearing up.

      • 176 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 21:41

        *laughing lots* Now you’re laughing me to scorn, madam!

      • 177 Heartafire September 29, 2015 at 23:19

        I am wicked but sincere

      • 178 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 12:47

        Well, that’s capital. And filthy.

      • 179 Heartafire October 1, 2015 at 12:40

        Thank you. smiles proudly.

      • 180 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 13:14

        *bows*

      • 181 Heartafire October 2, 2015 at 13:25

        You are good.

      • 182 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 13:43

        Wicked.

      • 183 Heartafire October 2, 2015 at 13:47

        smiles sweetly

      • 184 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 20:20

        *smiles wickedly*

      • 185 Heartafire October 2, 2015 at 21:13

        o, you are wicked! Probably giving me the “professorish eye”. and a tsk.

      • 186 Professor VJ Duke October 3, 2015 at 18:20

        All of those things, definitely. It’s part of the thingy, see.

      • 187 Heartafire October 3, 2015 at 19:45

        yes, I will play along, flashing unprofessorish eyes at your profish eyes.

      • 188 Professor VJ Duke October 4, 2015 at 22:20

        No eye flashing here, madam!

      • 189 Heartafire October 4, 2015 at 22:57

        It’s really more of a blink

      • 190 Heartafire September 29, 2015 at 23:21

        I am wicked but sincere. That counts for something no? I would be honored to sit on your seat. I mean that :)

  15. 191 rolerrol September 1, 2015 at 13:58

    Talk about thinking outside of the box Professor!!! I have never thought of owning a submarine……!!! I can imagine the adventures you are on! haha

    Rolain

    • 192 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:34

      *laughs* How about a ride, my man! We could attack nations.

      • 193 rolerrol September 2, 2015 at 07:04

        Sounds like a plan…..!

      • 194 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:49

        Have you ever hunted a shark?

      • 195 rolerrol September 3, 2015 at 06:48

        One would dream to be so fearless to hunt sharks! But with a submarine…….that changes everything! :)

      • 196 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 12:53

        And I’ve got missiles.

  16. 197 L. Marie September 1, 2015 at 13:09

    Everyone should have a submarine. Mine is on back order. Yours looks shipshape.
    Are you glad you sold the newspaper? Now that you have the submarine, will you conduct tours? Menace other nations?

    • 198 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:33

      Nice! What color is yours? I hate the yellow color, don’t you know.

      *laughs* Yes…but now I”m broke, Linda. I put everything on the sub. You’re right, I should start menacing nations. I think I shall.

      • 199 L. Marie September 3, 2015 at 13:19

        I went for a silvery gray model. Very sharklike. :)

      • 200 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 22:55

        That’s awesome! Now you need to get yellow lightning bolts put on it! Or painted on.

  17. 201 walt walker September 1, 2015 at 12:52

    I’m disappointed that I didn’t get to buy the paper. Excited about your new under-sea thingy, though. Hope there are no leaks. Does it have guns?

    • 202 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:32

      Oh, that’s right. But your offer was low. And I needed two boomerangs. No leaks, yet, I hope. Now, there’s a machine gun on the front.

      • 203 walt walker September 2, 2015 at 01:39

        Cool. I have a sub too. We should have a battle. Just for fun though, of course. And not too deep under the sea. The bends coming back up could be a concern. I find battles can be expensive, though. Actually, a battle might not be a good idea.

      • 204 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:45

        *laughing* Oh no, we must have a battle forthwith. Is your sub pink? I’m not sure why that’s the first thing that popped into my mind. I’ve got a missile, btw.

      • 205 walt walker September 2, 2015 at 19:00

        Mine has missles too. You noticed me shooting them at your island, I think, once. Not pink. That would be a lady’s sub.

      • 206 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 12:49

        That’s right! You must needs put up that picture so I can analyze your sub before the battle. Green?

  18. 207 Apricots and Cream September 1, 2015 at 11:56

    Hahaha this is hilarious!! But in all seriousness did you SERIOUSLY buy a submarine? Like seriously?
    Also the underwater world can look quite like the turtle pictures if you know where to go ;) Papua New Guinea, for example, is an excellent place for diving *nods importantly* (sorry had to throw that in there. I did, however see some turtles, and sharks and sting rays so I must’ve been doing something right….)

    • 208 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:32

      Good to see you here! Yes, I sold my paper to buy it. I shouldn’t have, should I have? A waste of money. Rats and a heifer. Want to go for a ride?

      *laughing lots* I think you were doing lots right. But if this professor swam, I think I’d sink, you know.

      • 209 Apricots and Cream September 2, 2015 at 07:03

        Yes I’m sorry about that… I realized yesterday that I’ve never seen a post from you and then I noticed it’s because I don’t follow you which is a shame really cause you got some good stuff. But luckily I could quickly correct that mistake. :)
        You sold your paper to buy a submarine? HA! That’s genius. And yes I would love to come along for a test ride (seeing as you already bought me a private jet ;) :P )

      • 210 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:49

        *laughs* Well, I’m like so happy to have you hear! More Punchy stuff than good, I’m thinking.

        Ohhhhhhhh, that’s right. I remember the jet. But…what if I told you that I had to sell that too to buy the sub?

      • 211 Apricots and Cream September 3, 2015 at 17:06

        Naaah I think it’s funny and cute ;)
        Ok YOU mister are in some serious trouble. First you insult and disgrace the art of cupcakes and then you sell my jet.
        This is just too much……
        You, sir, have no idea what you just walked into.

      • 212 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 23:11

        Cute? The only cute thing I’ve had is your jet…right before I sold it. *gulps* Oh dear no. Well…can’t I appease you by giving you some cherry suckers? *offers* They make everything better. Besides, if you insist, I could probably get your jet back. If your adamant, that is.

      • 213 Apricots and Cream September 7, 2015 at 15:50

        Naah you already received the submarine and it would just be a hassle with the amazon exchange people and the shipping and what not. You may keep your sub if I get visiting rights. Deal? Also, I don’t really like cherry suckers but do you have chocolate? 😅😍

      • 214 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2015 at 12:41

        Visiting right… Humph noodles. Would you pay per visit? Oh no, you must have cherry suckers, just like you must have only cherry muffins from now on.

  19. 215 PorterGirl September 1, 2015 at 11:28

    The submarine looks super, I have no doubt that you will have many adventures in her. Unless it really is your wife in that package, in which case you should let her out at once and get her a cup of tea! I shall miss the newspaper very much but, all in all, a submarine does sound much more exciting.

    • 216 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 11:47

      Isn’t it super? The only thing, though, is that I’m not at all sure how to go about operating a sub. I’ve decided once I get in the water it should be self-explanatory. *laughs* Nah, it’s a sub, for sure; still, I need a cup of tea. Now, here’s the thing: I spent all the money from PT News on the sub.

      • 217 PorterGirl September 1, 2015 at 11:54

        Oh it is probably a bit like driving a car or something. There is bound to be an instruction manual tucked away in the box somewhere. Oh dear – so you have no money and only a submarine. You might have to take on underwater work to get money for food. Or, you can always come over for dinner, you know.

      • 218 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2015 at 21:29

        I bet you’re right. As soon as I plop into the water I shall go searching for the instruction manual. Yes, I fear that’s so…I might have to open a lemonade stand or something like that, I fear. And I hate lemons, too. I mean, I like lemons, just not working with them. No, that’s onions. I take it back. I like lemons. Come over for dinner! Let’s do it!!

      • 219 PorterGirl September 2, 2015 at 06:16

        Maybe ask around TPL, there might be a submarine expert lurking among your number! Probably not DS, though. That would be a worry. You could try orangeade instead! Also, no one opens lemonade stands in the UK – I wonder why that is? Lovely! I will make us a nice pie and bring it over!

      • 220 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2015 at 18:48

        No lemonade stands? What a wonder. Do you not like lemonade? Maybe that’s it. I like it sometimes, unless it makes me pucker all up like a sucker. That’s dadblamery, I tell you.

        DS would definitely sink the sub. Of that I’m certain.

      • 221 PorterGirl September 3, 2015 at 06:12

        Our lemonade is very different to yours – for a start, it doesn’t taste of lemons! It’s more like just… ade, I suppose. One wonders why it is even called lemonade, in fact. DS could cause an awful lot of dadblamery underwater, certainly. Take Ruber instead, he is far more sensible.

      • 222 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 12:53

        How interesting! Ade…is it yellow or green?

        But he might try to cook! Imagine that in that small sub!!

      • 223 PorterGirl September 3, 2015 at 13:25

        It is completely clear! But with little bubbles in. Oh dearie me, yes. Then take MM – he would be good if a fight broke out.

      • 224 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2015 at 23:02

        Clear? I’m certainly scared of it now, the sudden. I’ll take him, just in case a orca comes after us.

      • 225 PorterGirl September 4, 2015 at 06:46

        Apparently, it is much sweeter than your lemonade, too. How curious are our cultural differences! *laughs* Yes, I think you should. There could be all manner of beasties under the ocean.

      • 226 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2015 at 12:16

        Now, that’s a good thing, that it’s sweeter. I like that lots, don’t you know. Strike it all, I say. How about you come with me for the ride?

      • 227 PorterGirl September 4, 2015 at 12:50

        Why Professor I would be delighted! I shall bring along my British lemonade and we shall go adventuring together once more!

      • 228 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2015 at 19:52

        We absolutely shall! And what if we sink? What a dreadful thought.

      • 229 PorterGirl September 5, 2015 at 10:07

        I am quite buoyant, you can cling to me and I shall float us to the surface!

      • 230 Professor VJ Duke September 7, 2015 at 15:29

        But…don’t you think my iron liver might drag us down?

      • 231 PorterGirl September 8, 2015 at 06:17

        You might have to leave it behind, maybe. We can send MM to collect it later.

      • 232 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2015 at 12:50

        *laughing* I’ve always wanted to get rid of it.

      • 233 PorterGirl September 8, 2015 at 13:21

        Maybe sell it – you did spend all your money on the sub, after all.

      • 234 Professor VJ Duke September 9, 2015 at 12:52

        And you know, I can actually see it sitting in a museum somewhere.

      • 235 PorterGirl September 10, 2015 at 06:27

        It would be the star attraction!

      • 236 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2015 at 12:55

        I think it would look very odd, personally.


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