At the Bakery

So, I like cookies a bit.

You know?

Especially cherry cookies.

Wait. I lie.

I’ve never had a cherry cookie, have you?

Exactly right! They don’t exist. Or, at least, they seem not to.

Professor’s Newest Theory: Cherry Cookies do not exist.

So, I tested the theory and went into a local bakery.

sweet-tooth-fairy-bakery-5

Now, I must say the bakery was rather full. And packed. And busy. It was rather full, see.

“Excuse me!” I shouted over the din.

No answer for a little bits.

“Excuse me a few times!”

You’d be surprised, but that worked. The people in front of me turned around, and I got to the front.

A fat woman was at the register.

“What would you like?” she asked, grabbing that little plastic paper thingy they have to use to grab cookies with.

“I’d like–” I began, but she cut me off.

“A lemon custard cookie? Sure thing.”

And faster than a rabbit on drugs, faster than Muhammed on the back of an ass, faster than Brock Lesnar…

4281218-6083399682-Brock

Brock Lesnar

…faster than ever, she grabbed a lemon custard cookie and handed it to me.

“Very nice,” I said, pushing her hand and the cookie aside, “but I wasn’t looking for that.”

Her face fell. “What? What do you want, then?”

“I’ll take…” I’d quite forgotten what I came in for, the sudden.

“Hey, buddy,” a voice said behind me. “Hurry up, I want a cookie.”

I did the only decent thing one can do in such a situation: I took the lemon custard cookie from the woman and gave it to him.

“Now, see here,” I said to the lady, “do you have cherry cookies?”

And she gave me one.

I was astounded.

PF, cherry cookies exist.

Let’s have a dance to celebrate.

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128 Responses to “At the Bakery”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 September 30, 2015 at 13:35

    *runs in, trench coat flapping madly, sonic screwdriver held on high* SCIENCE!
    That was a fabulous use of the Scientific Method, Professor! *helps self to a lemon custard cookie to celebrate*

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 17:54

      Gee, it was? Thanks!

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 September 30, 2015 at 19:15

        :-D It was indeed!

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke October 1, 2015 at 12:36

        Plus, I like your coat lots!

      • 5 erinkenobi2893 October 1, 2015 at 19:20

        Thanks! It’s really not mine. It’s the Doctor’s. But it fits me really well. Similar tall, skinny build, y’know. ;-P

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 13:26

        Coolness. I like how it flaps, don’t you know.

      • 7 erinkenobi2893 October 2, 2015 at 13:58

        It is rather dramatic, isn’t it? *swishes it proudly*

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 20:24

        Especially when rain is on it.

      • 9 erinkenobi2893 October 2, 2015 at 20:31

        I flick the rain at my enemies oftentimes, you see. It gets them soaking wet and mad as wet hens. Most of them ARE wet hens. :-P

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke October 3, 2015 at 18:17

        Wet hend. I can’t even.

      • 11 erinkenobi2893 October 3, 2015 at 18:46

        What? *swishes coat dramatically* Anyway! :-P

  2. 12 L. Marie September 28, 2015 at 13:50

    Was the cookie good?
    Would Brock Lesnar like it?

    • 13 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:18

      *laughs* The cookie was good! I bet Brock only eats whole cows. Don’t you suppose?

  3. 14 Simply Skeptical September 27, 2015 at 17:40

    WelI I dont’ think the fella behind you in line ever thought he’d get service that quickly. He no sooner said he wanted a cookie and he had one. BUT do you think that was what he had in mind? He seemed quiet on the matter, must be. (Giggles)

    • 15 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 19:11

      I think I shut him up. After all, it was a free cookie, see.

      • 16 Simply Skeptical September 28, 2015 at 10:19

        Hee, hee, hee. You’re right Sir. ;-)

      • 17 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:18

        Free cookies all around!

  4. 18 Nimmi September 24, 2015 at 19:39

    I already know that you love cherries… remember, we had a discussion over cherry red ;) And, if you are getting a cherry cookies then I’m sure you will be in full swing ;)
    Lets party dear!! ;)

    • 19 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:18

      *laughing* Okay! Would you like a cookie, Nimmi?

      • 20 Nimmi September 25, 2015 at 15:08

        Oh Yes! Definitely… How could I say no when you are offering me your favourite one :)

      • 21 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:10

        Perfect, then! I do hope you dig it, you know.

      • 22 Nimmi September 26, 2015 at 15:39

        I love too… :)

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 19:04

        Sweetness and goodness.

      • 24 Nimmi September 29, 2015 at 07:28

        <3 :)

  5. 25 John W. Howell September 24, 2015 at 19:07

    I can imagine how good a cherry cookie would be.

    • 26 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:18

      Soft. Juicy. Cherry. And maybe a hint of maple.

      • 27 John W. Howell September 25, 2015 at 17:06

        MAPLE????? YAK

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:12

        *laughing lots* Not a fan of maple syrup, I see!

      • 29 John W. Howell September 26, 2015 at 01:04

        Not on cherry.

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 18:52

        Hmm, yes, you may have a point there. I see what you mean.

      • 31 John W. Howell September 27, 2015 at 20:56

        Pancakes yes.

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:15

        But couldn’t you see cherries on pancakes? Just a bit?

      • 33 John W. Howell September 28, 2015 at 21:40

        Um No

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 12:34

        You’ve never had cherries on pancakes?

      • 35 John W. Howell September 29, 2015 at 12:49

        Strawberries yes. Cherries no. Maybe I’ll live large and try them.

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 21:34

        You must do it. While watching a Pats game. You will have the time of your life.

      • 37 John W. Howell September 29, 2015 at 22:25

        Maybe in the next life

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 12:45

        *laughs* Cynic!

      • 39 John W. Howell September 30, 2015 at 13:01

        Who me?

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 17:50

        *laughs* Just a tiny weeny bit.

      • 41 John W. Howell September 30, 2015 at 19:50

        Trapped like a rat.

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke October 1, 2015 at 12:38

        Trapped like a rat by a cat!

      • 43 John W. Howell October 1, 2015 at 13:03

        The worst kind of trapped

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 13:16

        *nods* It can’t end well.

      • 45 John W. Howell October 2, 2015 at 17:23

        Gotta wonder what’s going through the cat and rat’s mind. “Let the little rat make one move and he’s dinner.” “I can’t make one move since the cat has rat on the menu.”

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 20:34

        I bet you’re exactly right. I wonder if the rat might think: “if only might fat cousin was here; he’d fetch the cat.”

      • 47 John W. Howell October 3, 2015 at 00:41

        Or fill the cat’s appetite​.

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke October 3, 2015 at 18:27

        *laughing* That’s probably it exactly.

      • 49 John W. Howell October 3, 2015 at 20:24

        Yes.

      • 50 John W. Howell October 3, 2015 at 20:24

        Yes

  6. 51 C.S. Wilde September 24, 2015 at 17:43

    They have cookies of everything nowadays!

    • 52 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:18

      *laughs* Don’t they? It’s so odd. But I bet you’d love a cherry cookie!

  7. 53 Nancy Loderick September 24, 2015 at 17:30

    Well you know Professor, if you didn’t get a cherry cookie at the bakery, you could always bake some. I am sure you could find a recipe on the Internet, since everything is on the Internet.

    Nancy

    • 54 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:17

      But I”m a horrible baker! I might put bananas and chocolate in it. And that would ruin the mission. Rats.

      • 55 Nancy Loderick September 29, 2015 at 17:48

        Hi Professor,

        Well, you just never know. You may even invent a new cookie flavor! :)

        Nancy

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 21:47

        Cherry and nut flavored!

  8. 57 E. September 24, 2015 at 17:13

    Dance for cherry cookies! Yummy! Was the cookie everything you hoped and dreamed it would be? I’ve never had one. Or a lemon custard cookie for that matter.

    • 58 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:17

      It was! You would’ve loved it. But…do you love cherry cookies? I hope so. I think I might just dance. Though I’m horrible at it. Here, hold the tent, while I give it a go.

      • 59 E. September 25, 2015 at 16:42

        I don’t know, I’ve never had cherry cookies. I have had a cherry vanilla bagel though, and that was delicious.
        Wait, let me get my camera so I can video this.

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:12

        Wow! that does sound delicious. I shall take two, please.

        *laughs* But I’ll get all embarrassed!

      • 61 E. September 26, 2015 at 00:32

        Do it do it do it!

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 18:50

        But you’d laugh at me!

      • 63 E. September 27, 2015 at 21:25

        Yes I would!

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:16

        Humph noodles to you, madam!

  9. 65 FictionFan September 24, 2015 at 16:06

    Good noodles, that picture of Mr Lesnar is disturbing! Just shows the dangers of eating cherry cookies, wouldn’t you say? *shudders*

    So nice to see you’ve become such an enthusiastic dancer in your old age!

    • 66 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:14

      Isn’t he cool looking? I should go into body building. Look at those neck muscles!

      *laughing* I have not! That was just…okay, yes, I’m ready to try the cotillion! See? It’s all your fault. I blame that completely on you.

      • 67 FictionFan September 25, 2015 at 17:20

        Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! You musn’t!! I’d have to… well, just don’t!!!!

        Oh, no, you can’t blame me!! You resisted my blandishments with consummate ease, sir! ‘Tis another who has inspired this new-found enthusiasm, I fear… so I shall dance with Schwarzy instead!

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:15

        You really don’t think those muscles are cool?! *eyes boggle* Well, he also weighs around 280 lbs. I’m sure WOB would dig it.

        Yeah right! You know you’ve been chipping at it all along! Now, I do little dances all the time. By myself, of course. So…yes, I blame you completely!

      • 69 FictionFan September 26, 2015 at 19:44

        You don’t either… I hope!!! He looks like King Kong after a close haircut – and that is not a compliment, before you ask?! Men! Tchah!!

        *laughs* Oh, OK then, I’ll take the blame! It makes me rather proud actually! Ask Tick what his price would be to film that…

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 19:09

        Well…just a bit? He body slams well. Even Cena is afraid of him! *laughs* Imagine how cruel I’d be if I looked like that! I would go and pick fights–purposefully.

        I wouldn’t even ask Tick! Now, see how you’ve ruined me? I’m no longer a beast–like Brock.

      • 71 FictionFan September 28, 2015 at 14:44

        Nooo!! No man should have more muscles than Rafa – a perfect specimen! If you looked like Brock you wouldn’t be able to play guitar – your arms wouldn’t reach far enough across your chest.

        Oh, I bet beasts love to dance! (In fact, I’m sure I’ve danced with one or two in my time…) And you’d be a much c&a-er dancing beast than Brock could ever be… *nods confidently*

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:23

        Brock would destroy Rafa. Probably eat him. I’m of the opinion Brock ate a few humans to get to that size, actually. That’s a good point! *laughs* He’s got a huge pecs.

        (How thrilling! And funny, too.) You must admit, though, Brock has raw good looks.

      • 73 FictionFan September 28, 2015 at 23:58

        *laughs against her will* I think you may be right! But if he eats Rafa, well… I’d just have to challenge him to a wrestling match! With you…

        Perhaps he would look better cooked…

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 12:39

        I’d be crushed! He’d sit on me and my liver would squish out! You beast.

        Bet he could body slam a griz!

      • 75 FictionFan September 29, 2015 at 17:44

        Oh, now that you’re a dancer you’d be so quick on your feet he’d never catch you! The bigger they come…

        *laughs* The things you find admirable…!!

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 21:47

        But I don’t dance. Remember: I”m that chap in the video with that odd princess.

        You don’t? That would be…wow.

      • 77 FictionFan September 30, 2015 at 00:24

        Yes, you are!! And he dances…and sings!! He’s so sweet! Anyway I know you secretly can’t wait to dance the cotillion…

        *laughs lots* I cannot disagree!

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 12:51

        But…but…just focus on the music in the last scene. The dancing is funny looking.

        There you are!

  10. 79 fauquetmichel September 24, 2015 at 15:55

    Ask and you will get

    • 80 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:13

      I ask for a million cherry cookies, the sudden!

  11. 81 masgautsen September 24, 2015 at 15:17

    Oh, that is one tempting looking photo from the bakery!

    • 82 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:10

      Isn’t it, though? Cupcakes all around!

      • 83 masgautsen September 25, 2015 at 14:41

        I love cupcakes

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:08

        Me too. Umm…you wouldn’t happen to have any on hand, would you?

      • 85 masgautsen September 26, 2015 at 06:58

        Sadly no

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 18:53

        Rats and a Heifer!

  12. 87 Debbie September 24, 2015 at 15:13

    Professor, there are LOTS of recipes for cherry cookies, so tie on an apron, get into your kitchen, and start whipping one up yourself (no need to stand in line and be annoyed with idiots, you know!!) Here’s a place to get you started, since you seem averse to Google ;) http://allrecipes.com/recipes/13354/desserts/cookies/fruit-cookies/cherry/?page=2

    Since when you started dancing — even celebratory dances? *suspicious glare*

    • 88 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:10

      A Debbie! Always to the rescue. You know, I might have Domer make them for me. I’ll smell and eat. That’s hard work right there, don’t you know.

      *laughing* It was a lie. I can’t dance because I’m dance-less, don’t you know.

  13. 89 Heartafire September 24, 2015 at 13:59

    “faster than Muhammed on the back of an ass”…I need to compose myself.
    Professor, you seem to have problems even in the cookie store (referred to as bakery by the elite). I have signed us up for anger-management therapy, You will be receiving the details via Brock, be nice.

    • 90 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:08

      *laughs* What a zinger, huh?

      I better be nice! Dost thou know Brock?

      • 91 Heartafire September 25, 2015 at 13:40

        He’s my bff.

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:05

        *mouth drops* Can you ask him to teach me how to wrestle?

      • 93 Heartafire September 26, 2015 at 13:41

        Sure, he’d be glad to. Get out the speedo.

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 19:02

        I don’t think anyone has any of those!

      • 95 Heartafire September 27, 2015 at 20:25

        oh, believe me, they do! I want to put out my eyes!

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:13

        Now why do you want to do that?

      • 97 Heartafire September 28, 2015 at 20:20

        You really have never seen a speedo else you would know why.

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:26

        I must admit, I haven’t. So, back to google! *laughs* Those underwear-like things? Take my eyes, too, please.

      • 99 Heartafire September 28, 2015 at 20:34

        ha! I warned you.

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 12:30

        *laughs* Very wicked of you! And filthy!

      • 101 Heartafire September 29, 2015 at 14:14

        my pleasure…here, put them in this baggie with mine, we’ll come back for them (our eyes, not the speedo)

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 21:40

        *puts them in* I never want to see one again!

      • 103 Heartafire September 29, 2015 at 23:26

        Laughing out loud!

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 12:48

        Your fault, madam!

      • 105 Heartafire October 1, 2015 at 12:37

        yours!

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 13:13

        *holds ears* Yours!

  14. 107 walt walker September 24, 2015 at 13:15

    I bet that lemon one was about to expire. Probably why she was pushing it so.

    • 108 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:07

      Why…! Imagine that. I bet you’re right. I should go back and ask for a refund for that chap I handed it to.

  15. 109 desertdweller29 September 24, 2015 at 12:55

    Brock Lesner looks like he could use a cherry cookie. He already has his mouth open and everything. Actually he looks like a crazy cookie monster ready to eat things and then spit them out. Imagine him going into that bakery? He’d probably break the glass with his head to get himself a cookie. His posture is quite terrible, too. He should really throw his shoulders back or he’ll wind up hunched back. Also, I think he needs to hit the gym more often. I detect some fat on his forehead near his brain. See it? You need to look closely.

    Hmmm… I would have pegged you for more of a lemon cookie man, Professor. Too many bad songs with cherry in them. (Yes, I’m thinking of you, Cherry Pie.)

    • 110 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:04

      *laughing lots* I think you’re right: back to the gym with the brute! Do you think he’d scare the orcs? I bet so. I want to arm wrestle him, the sudden. Wish I could break the glass and steal cookies, though…I envy him there.

      There is not! Cherry cookies are the best. You’re not making a batch as we speak are you? If so, I might thieve them.

      • 111 desertdweller29 September 25, 2015 at 19:04

        Cherry cookies are the very worst of the worst, PVJ! Blah! Ick!

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:16

        Well! I see you’ve never had one, madam!

  16. 113 Lady Dunamis September 24, 2015 at 12:36

    Gross. I would have opted for the lemon one myself. What’s next? Cherry fried chicken?

    • 114 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:02

      Wait…you just called a cherry cookie gross? No, you didn’t! No halo this year, Lady! Cherry fried chicken actually sounds quite good, the sudden.

      • 115 Lady Dunamis September 25, 2015 at 13:15

        Ha! I will wear my halo. Just waits a minute and a few. 😆

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:20

        I do hope you got me one this year. Since I’m being so sickeningly good.

      • 117 Lady Dunamis September 25, 2015 at 13:24

        I thought myself quite generous with the atrocious plaid Christmas pajamas. Perhaps a halo is in order. We shall see.

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:05

        When shall we see? I’m so impatient, the sudden.

      • 119 Lady Dunamis September 26, 2015 at 00:20

        Around Christmas. Since I don’t have the other blog any more and it wouldn’t be appropriate for my current blog so I will drop the gift as a response to one of your upcoming posts.

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 18:49

        Okay, then. I shall look forward to it lots.

  17. 121 Susan P September 24, 2015 at 12:07

    What a wonder that was. Really? Cherry one? I would have taken the lemon one.

    • 122 Professor VJ Duke September 24, 2015 at 12:34

      I know you would’ve! Now, what do you make of that Brock fellow?

      • 123 Susan P September 24, 2015 at 15:53

        Well, I’d need to experiment.

      • 124 Lady Dunamis September 24, 2015 at 15:58

        Play it safe Susan and beware of PVJ’s wiles. I think he is up to something deliciously sinister and I think the cherry cookie is a distraction.

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:13

        But for what?

      • 126 Lady Dunamis September 25, 2015 at 13:21

        A master of smoke screen-ery. Ask the seemingly innocent question to get us off track. I am on to your game, I think….

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:04

        *laughs* You always were to wily for me. *hides*

      • 128 Professor VJ Duke September 25, 2015 at 13:13

        And…?


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