How To Get Revenge on the Girl (LOTR Ft.)

So, as you many know, this professor once owned a news company. It was called PT News.

Now, here’s the thing: one of the reporters–Julia Thompson, actually–sort of stole the company. Well, I sold it for a submarine. But she was a bad employee. So, it was time for revenge.

I walked into the barbershop she frequents (do they call them barbershops?) and stopped the head chap.

“Look here,” I said. “I know one of your patients is Julia Thompson. Is that right?”

He laughed a bit. “No, Julia is one of my customers.”

“Oh goody,” I replied. “Here’s the deal: when she comes in for her haircut, I want you to cut off her ponytail. I’m taking revenge, see.”

He gave a quizzical face. “Now why would I do that?”

“Because I asked.”

He shook his head. “Not good enough.”

“Because I need revenge?”

“Still no good.”

“Dadblameit, you’re not fair! And Susan said everyone should be fair in life. Tell you what, if you do it, I’ll give you one cherry sucker, Walt’s boomerang, and E’s tent.”

He seemed unsure.

And at that moment, Julia walked in!

I wanted to hide, I wanted to duck, I wanted to turn into a fly and fly out the window.

But it was too late.

She saw me.

“Oh…” she said softly. “PVJ…what a surprise. Getting a hair cut?”

And she sat down in a chair and the chap went over to cut her hair. Like that rhyme? I didn’t.

“So, what have you been up to, PVJ?” she asked. “The news business is going good.”

And quick as a flower dying in the moonlight, this professor grabbed a pair of scissors, charged forward, and cut off her ponytail.

Julia let out a cry. The man did, too. I did, too. Just to belong, see.

Then I retreated.

Also, the professor found this guitar orchestra:

 

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148 Responses to “How To Get Revenge on the Girl (LOTR Ft.)”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 September 30, 2015 at 13:33

    She stole the company and left you with a submarine? What a jerk!

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 17:54

      I know! That’s why I cut off her ponytail.

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 September 30, 2015 at 19:15

        Couldn’t let her get away with it! ;-)
        You could take legal action as well?

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke October 1, 2015 at 12:36

        I should, that’s for sure. But you know, it’s such a bother. Legal action.

      • 5 erinkenobi2893 October 1, 2015 at 19:20

        Well, unless you bother someone else to do it all for you. I know a very good lawyer. Her name is Tracey Cole, and she’s a friend of Pepper’s. Helped Cap straighten out the contract with SHIELD and made sure that he’d at least get some days off whenever he needed them. She and I go out and get coffee or tea every once in a while. ;-)

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 13:26

        You must hook us up. I think I need a good lawyer, the sudden.

      • 7 erinkenobi2893 October 2, 2015 at 13:59

        I will indeed! She can be found at the Marvel Office any time at 10 a.m. and other times at my blog, or Iris’s, though she never replies to anything on there. So if she doesn’t reply, it’s because she is, for some reason, on Iris’s blog.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 20:24

        Oh goody. Let’s track her down.

      • 9 erinkenobi2893 October 2, 2015 at 20:31

        I think we found her. *climbs in through the window of Stark Tower*

  2. 10 Lady Dunamis September 29, 2015 at 22:36

    I shall soon see you on the crime show 48 Hours if you continue with this kind of unlawful and deviant behavior. But I doubt they would catch you, since you are so sneaky. I mean, who joins in the cry? ***shaking head in amazement…and laughing***

    • 11 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 12:45

      You have to admit you were proud of me! How I took it so suddenly and fastly fast! Best fun I’ve had in a while.

      • 12 Lady Dunamis September 30, 2015 at 12:52

        See, either you are a literary genius or an undercover criminal with a master mind feigning innocence. It is hard to tell. Keep this up you will be a fugitive on the run. 🚁

      • 13 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 12:56

        Maybe I’m already on the run! I’ve definitely run up the bills, don’t you know.

  3. 14 Susan P September 28, 2015 at 14:34

    There WILL be retaliation. How far do you plan to go with this travesty?

    • 15 Susan P September 28, 2015 at 14:35

      The music I like!

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:20

        LOTR! Best ever, huh?

      • 17 Susan P September 28, 2015 at 21:09

        Times three.

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 12:31

        Yeah. Shore is a brilliant beastly.

      • 19 Susan P September 29, 2015 at 14:08

        What kind of brilliang beast?

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 21:40

        The sort that writes awesome LOTR music!

      • 21 Susan P September 29, 2015 at 22:13

        I think you should have a party for him.

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 12:42

        But he probably wouldn’t come. We’d have to kidnap him!

      • 23 Susan P September 30, 2015 at 12:50

        Yeah. Drag him over to the cauldron and fry him!

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 12:55

        It might be ghastly looking…!

      • 25 Susan P September 30, 2015 at 18:09

        Are you going to eat it or are you going to hang it over the hearth.

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke October 1, 2015 at 12:34

        Definitely over the hearth. But your hearth, you know.

      • 27 Susan P October 1, 2015 at 13:21

        I”m sorry, but that just sounds unsavory.

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 13:18

        Your fault!

      • 29 Susan P October 4, 2015 at 20:02

        You should try being a girl some time and then you can talk.

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke October 4, 2015 at 22:29

        That’d be easy!

      • 31 Susan P October 5, 2015 at 00:53

        O0O

    • 32 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:20

      Well, that’s it. I’m a simple sort of chap. Not mean at all, see.

      • 33 Susan P September 28, 2015 at 21:08

        Is that your nose growing?

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 12:31

        No, no! Of course not. *covers it up*

      • 35 Susan P September 29, 2015 at 14:07

        *the look*

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 21:40

        Oh no! Not the look… *ducks*

      • 37 Susan P September 29, 2015 at 22:13

        *the look* can see right through any thing.

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 12:41

        Except a guitar!

      • 39 Susan P September 30, 2015 at 12:49

        Yep. The look sears right through the guitar.

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 12:55

        And break the strings, probably. What a buggering stare.

      • 41 Susan P September 30, 2015 at 18:10

        That is only until he peels his skin.

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke October 1, 2015 at 12:34

        Who?

      • 43 Susan P October 1, 2015 at 13:22

        My pet Hognosed snake.
        Why?

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 13:18

        You made that up!

      • 45 Susan P October 4, 2015 at 20:03

        Really? Is that what you think? You walk around like a girl and tell me that again.

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke October 4, 2015 at 22:29

        Girls kinda waltz about, don’t you know.

      • 47 Susan P October 5, 2015 at 00:54

        I don’t waltz. I much prefer the polka.

  4. 48 L. Marie September 28, 2015 at 14:05

    What a fabulous LOTR Suite! Loved it!
    And wow! Nicely done with the ponytail! Did you hand it back to her or keep it as a souvenir?

    • 49 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:19

      Thanks, Linda! I tried to get all the major themes in it. I think I got most. Awesome music. Howard Shore is a genius.

      I kept it! Hanging it from my belt. I’m an indian, the sudden, see.

  5. 50 Debbie September 26, 2015 at 14:42

    Simply brilliant, Professor! Expertly played and arranged, beautifully filmed, and what an outstanding choice of music! I love LOTR, by the way, so of course I’d enjoy this one! And you didn’t look a bit afraid of toppling down that slope into the water, guitar and all!!

    Good for you — revenge can be sweet, huh? Very warrior-like, hacking off that Julia’s ponytail and not having to give her stylist any of those goodies! You know, she’ll probably get used to short hair (but I’ll bet she keeps bobbing her head nonetheless, ha!)

    • 51 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 19:03

      Thanks bunches, Debbie! I love LOTR, too…isn’t that the bestest music ever? You know it is. *laughs* I was actually firmly planted in the mud, which was very frustrating. But, hey, a swim in the river would’ve been fun!

      Haha, you’re probably right. But do you suppose she might come after me?

  6. 52 masgautsen September 26, 2015 at 08:01

    Wow, I can’t wait to see what will happen now!

    • 53 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 18:53

      She might try to kill me! *gulps*

      • 54 masgautsen September 27, 2015 at 18:55

        Not if you get her first.

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 19:11

        You mean brutally do her in?

      • 56 masgautsen September 27, 2015 at 19:50

        That might be a little too rude.

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:12

        But isn’t it fun being rude?

      • 58 masgautsen September 29, 2015 at 11:19

        Maybe not that rude. But keep your katana ready if you get attacked.

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 12:41

        I shall be ready. Like Tom Cruise.

  7. 60 Simply Skeptical September 25, 2015 at 22:50

    Bravo on the video… very creative and entertaining.

    • 61 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:18

      *laughs and a wink*

  8. 62 Simply Skeptical September 25, 2015 at 22:46

    Oooooo that was a bold move! Now she may seek revenge on your pony tail.

    • 63 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:18

      My ponytail? *checks head* I was scared for a moment.

  9. 64 John W. Howell September 25, 2015 at 19:24

    Someone by the name of Bill said revenge is sweet. I can’t imagine what you will do with a ponytail which doesn’t seem sweet. The music, however, is sweet. That orchestra has a bunch of musicians who all look alike. Might be the first Octuplet ensemble.

    • 65 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:17

      *laughing lots* Bill. This chap sounds reasonable. Octuplet! What a great way to put things, I say. And did you notice the one ring of power? I have it now. Which is spicy, you must admit.

      • 66 John W. Howell September 26, 2015 at 01:02

        I saw the ring at the end and thought it was on a coffee table where some lout set a wet glass.

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 18:51

        *laughing* For sure. And don’t you know, I’m still hunting for that lout.

      • 68 John W. Howell September 27, 2015 at 22:14

        Ha ha ha

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:17

        When I find him… *makes katana motion*

      • 70 John W. Howell September 28, 2015 at 21:34

        I believe you.

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 12:32

        I’m filthy like that.

      • 72 John W. Howell September 29, 2015 at 12:51

        Seems so. Good shower might help.

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 21:35

        This is the sort of filth not even that can wash away!

      • 74 John W. Howell September 29, 2015 at 22:20

        Hmmm

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 12:43

        It’s truly remarkable.

      • 76 John W. Howell September 30, 2015 at 13:07

        I wonder how filth can be remarkable but have to believe you.

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 17:52

        Hm. That does give me pause for reflection. You might have a point there, you know.

      • 78 John W. Howell September 30, 2015 at 19:44

        Yes. Find a nice pond and channel your inner Bruce Lee.

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke October 1, 2015 at 12:37

        *laughs* I shall try. I might get hurt.

      • 80 John W. Howell October 1, 2015 at 13:05

        Make sure you are sitting down.

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 13:17

        In a La-Z-boy, at least.

      • 82 John W. Howell October 2, 2015 at 17:21

        OMG. Talk about declasse

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 20:34

        *laughs* It’s your…fault!

      • 84 John W. Howell October 3, 2015 at 00:44

        I don’t see how.I suggested sitting down. You could pick any kind of sit down spot EXCEPT a La Z Boy lounger. (Just the crumbs in those things make me gag.)

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke October 3, 2015 at 18:28

        Crumbs? *looks at it* I hope not! Okay…how about a park bench?

      • 86 John W. Howell October 3, 2015 at 20:22

        Good. Nice.

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke October 4, 2015 at 22:23

        Yeah…but horribly uncomfortable, dadblameit!

      • 88 John W. Howell October 5, 2015 at 00:42

        You have to get a lot of newspaper to pad the bench

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke October 5, 2015 at 21:13

        And maybe a few cushions.

      • 90 John W. Howell October 6, 2015 at 00:47

        Roll up a jacket.

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke October 6, 2015 at 18:27

        I still want my Lazy chair.

      • 92 John W. Howell October 6, 2015 at 18:35

        Fine.

  10. 93 desertdweller29 September 25, 2015 at 19:22

    Well I was going to comment on the cutting of the ponytail, but after watching your video it put me too much in a good mood! Wonderful stuff! And how much traveling you did while you played?! But I’m suspicious of that beach. Where in PA is there a beach? Is that one of the greats? Lake Erie? All very magical, Professor… Me thinks you are quite talented.

    • 94 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:17

      Lots of traveling! My legs almost fell off, actually. It is exactly Lake Erie! I’m impressed, DD. Doesn’t it make you want to come over and have a swim or something? Talented? Nah, just a problem overall.

      Now…I’m curious: what did you think about my ponytail abuse? *proud*

  11. 95 Nimmi September 25, 2015 at 19:06

    Oops… *fair..

  12. 96 Nimmi September 25, 2015 at 19:04

    Oh!! The music…Just made my day… The revenge was not fare, dear… Forgiveness is the best thing any one can do to themselves, remember ;)
    And the music…Just took my breath away… You are awesome VC.. Simply AWESOME <3 :)

    • 97 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:15

      Sweet!

      *laughs* Can’t I have just a little revenge? Just a little bits?

      Thanks so much, Nimmi! Do you like LOTR music?

      • 98 Nimmi September 26, 2015 at 15:50

        Well… You can do, but, in a fun way is okay, make sure you won’t end up hurting others ;)
        Oh! The pleasure is all mine dear. Yeah, I like LOTR music..However, yours is my favourite :) Why did you asked dear??

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 19:05

        Oh, okay, rats!

        Mine is your fav?! Wow! That’s so amazing. Oh, I was just curious, see.

      • 100 Nimmi September 29, 2015 at 07:29

        You are a sweetheart, dear!! And, I’m really found of your music :)

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 12:41

        That is a very nice thing to say. Now you must play.

      • 102 Nimmi September 30, 2015 at 14:44

        Then you have to teach me. 😊

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 17:56

        I sure will!

      • 104 Nimmi September 30, 2015 at 18:07

        Oh, wow!!! You don’t know how happy I’m to know that :) thank you so much dear!! You made my day. <3 ;*

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke October 1, 2015 at 12:33

        It’s fun to teach!

      • 106 Nimmi October 2, 2015 at 16:55

        And, it’s fun to learn from you as well, sweetheart. :)

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 20:33

        I hope I can teach well, don’t you know.

      • 108 Nimmi October 2, 2015 at 20:35

        You will be a great teacher :)

  13. 109 Heartafire September 25, 2015 at 15:26

    Bravo! Well done Professor, fabulous guitar and video. A wonderful Friday Morning treat! Hat’s off!

    • 110 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:11

      Thanks bunches, Hollie! But…does that mean I get your hat?

      • 111 Heartafire September 26, 2015 at 13:31

        I have a cool hat, I think it would look amazing on you, I would gladly send it to you (ducking lightning.) Seriously, a very fine video, love it.

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 19:00

        Ooo! I so want to see the hat now. *waits impatiently* Storm? Thanks, Hollie. Means a lot!

      • 113 Heartafire September 27, 2015 at 20:30

        You’re very gifted…I said that already right?

      • 114 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:15

        You did…but I don’t believe you!

      • 115 Heartafire September 28, 2015 at 20:18

        you can believe me, I am very selfish with my “gifted” comments.

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:25

        Aw, gee, thanks, Hollie! But you should know, I never feel really good.

      • 117 Heartafire September 28, 2015 at 20:39

        load up on cherry suckers. We can’t have you not feeling good!

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 12:30

        I”ll have three at one time!

      • 119 Heartafire September 29, 2015 at 14:15

        Oh, live it up dear Professor…you’ll feel wonderful!

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 21:41

        Five then!

      • 121 Heartafire September 29, 2015 at 23:22

        Five it is , this ones on me!

      • 122 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2015 at 12:47

        *waits patiently for them*

      • 123 Heartafire October 1, 2015 at 12:39

        There in an unmarked brown parcel.

      • 124 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 13:14

        Gee, thanks, Hollie.

      • 125 Heartafire October 2, 2015 at 13:25

        always a pleasure to make one uncomfortable. Just doing my job.

      • 126 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 13:43

        *laughs* Just mention speedo and I’m there.

      • 127 Heartafire October 2, 2015 at 13:45

        laughing out loud! Me too.

      • 128 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 20:19

        Quite right!

  14. 129 walt walker September 25, 2015 at 15:06

    Well that was very good, I think. Now was that the actual ring there at the end?

    • 130 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:10

      It was! And, no, you can’t have it. Unless you pay the price for it.

      • 131 walt walker September 26, 2015 at 01:21

        What is the price? More than a boomerang?

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 18:53

        The boomerang and your ax.

  15. 133 Paul S September 25, 2015 at 14:51

    That’s brutal; akin to the samurai disgraced by the cutting off of their topknot–this takes away the symbol of their place in the warrior class and they will wear the sign of their defeat for a long time. Almost like having “loser” tattooed on their forehead.

    • 134 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:09

      *laughs* you are so right! Do you suppose she might take revenge?

      • 135 Paul S September 26, 2015 at 09:29

        Revenge is inevitable, according to the code of bushido!

      • 136 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 18:59

        Yes, yes! Did you know I think I’m half samurai?

  16. 137 FictionFan September 25, 2015 at 14:38

    Ooh, fabulous music AND the ponytail-bobber can bob no more! I think I must be dreaming! It would have been totally tragic if the scissors had slipped and accidentally cut off her head… *smiles wolfishly*

    Brilliant video, Professor and Nick! You have outdone yourselves… thank you!

    • 138 Professor VJ Duke September 26, 2015 at 00:08

      I wouldn’t cut off her head! Imagine the blood and gore and blood. She won’t be able to bob. Don’t you feel a bit sorry for her?

      Thank you, FEF! Now, you must take up guitar and play, too.

      • 139 FictionFan September 26, 2015 at 19:31

        Oh… not even for me? You could put some nice absorbent cloths down first to keep the floor clean. Sorry for her? Why, not only was she an incessant bobber but she stole the Professor’s company! Tick must work for her now… *chuckles a bit*

        *laughs* Why keep a Professor and bark myself…?

      • 140 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 19:06

        It sounds as if you speak from experience, don’t you know… That’s true! Nick betrayed me. Go get him, please, and bring hime before me. I’ll wait on my rock.

        Hmm…I’m trying to unscramble this. What does it mean?

      • 141 FictionFan September 28, 2015 at 14:30

        I read a lot of crime novels – I’m sure the knowledge will come in useful one day. Yessir! Right away, sir! Though… actually, you know, you know, I think it was more that you betrayed him… I should bring you to his rock…

        *laughs* Do Americans not use the expression “Why keep a dog and bark yourself” then? Roughly meaning why do it yourself when you can get someone else to do it for you.

      • 142 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2015 at 20:20

        Aha! I must ban you from all crime novels, the sudden. Bet I just cut your TBR in half! *laughs* You might have a point. But I bet he doesn’t have a rock!

        I’ve never heard that before! What an odd expression. But I find it an interest you compared me to a dog.

      • 143 FictionFan September 28, 2015 at 23:53

        *gasps* Then I shall ban you from all cherry flavour products! Aww! That’s a shame! You must give him yours then – it’s only fair…

        *nods* A pitbull. Or a poodle. I haven’t decided yet.

      • 144 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 12:36

        I’ll smuggle them into my nest, nevertheless! I’m not giving him my rock! *puts it in pocket*

        What?! No, no. I’m a…German Shepherd!

      • 145 FictionFan September 29, 2015 at 17:41

        I shall deploy my new cherry-seeking missile launcher… Gosh, you must have HUGE pockets!!!! Unless it’s somebody else’s pocket… Godzilla’s?

        Nah, I think you’re a King Charles Spaniel! It’s the ears…

      • 146 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2015 at 21:45

        I want one of those! Well, it’s a small rock. Haven’t you ever sat on a small rock? I do all the time.

        *laughs* Well, I admit the ears are weird looking, but still…!

    • 147 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member September 26, 2015 at 13:22

      Thank you!

      • 148 Professor VJ Duke September 27, 2015 at 18:59

        You’re welcome.


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