Fights at a Ball

When a fight breaks out at a ball, the first thing to do is hide.

Once you discover that it’s a safe fight, you can come out.

But since this professor caused the fight, I didn’t hide, so I didn’t have to come out of hiding.

Julia was screaming.

That was clear.

And Mr. Ratherquite was yelling.

That was also clear.

So, this wily professor climbed the stairs to the second level. I leaned just a bit out over the railing, and took a listen:

Mr. Ratherquite was saying: “You mean you don’t find me an attractive gentleman?”

Julia scrunched up her whole face–yes, she can do that sort of thing. “Not at all! And give me my hair!”

She made a grab for the ponytail Mr. Ratherquite was holding.

But, surprisingly, the chap was rather quick.

The Ladies–Mr. Ratherquite’s ladies–were spitting in rage. At Julia, of course.

37ffb9217b9fcdf18c82456ef8e62292

That’s the second level I was on. Sorta. Up there. Above.

Julia pointed a shaking finger at Mr. Ratherquite. “Tell me the truth! Did PVJ give you that?”

Mr. Ratherquite grew red in the face. “You, madam, are definitely not a lady! You know very well what happened here. You sent me this as a token of your affection!”

Julia’s face was hilarious. Well, cranky, but hilarious to this professor. I couldn’t help but laugh as my wily plan unfolded beautifully.

Yes, I’m dreadfully wicked.

Then, one of the ladies whispered something in Mr. Ratherquite’s ear, and he nodded and smiled.

“Ahh,” he said, circling Julia, “I see. It’s part of your lady-game. This whole…” Mr. Ratherquite spread his arms wide and continued his march around Julia. “…this whole act of pretending to be insulted! I see!”

By this time, a crowd had gathered.

Manly-Man was even there. He said to Mr. Ratherquite, “Hey dude, I doesn’t think she wants you, you know.”

“Yeah,” Schwarz Tauptinker affirmed, “definitely not. Chickit!”

“Oh, don’t be sillies, gentlemen!” Mr. Ratherquite almost yelled. “I know Julia loves me deeply, or why else would she send her hair?”

“I didn’t!” Julia screamed. “Where is PVJ?!”

Mr. Ratherquite smiled deeply. “At first the ladies are scared of me, it is true.”

The Ladies giggled.

Then a shocking thing happened: Julia snarled.

Gray or Timber Wolf(Canis lupus) snarling on an elk carcass(captive)

Gray or Timber Wolf standing on a human carcass.

“Enough!” she said.

Then she turned and walked out of the ballroom.

“She’ll come around,” Mr. Ratherquite laughed. “She will come to love me.”

“That’s disgusting, honey-butts,” Manly-Man said.

And the party went back to its normal boring self.

This professor made his way downstairs into the main hall. The noise of the ball was just a little noise out here.

Prince Beef was there.

“Oh,” I said, “I hear you’re getting married? Congrats and a bit!”

He spun on me viciously. “Who told you that?!” he snapped.

Oh dear.

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143 Responses to “Fights at a Ball”


  1. 1 PorterGirl October 6, 2015 at 06:28

    How did I manage to miss this episode?? And there is a fight and MM and everything *sigh* I must be getting old. Maybe Julia will come to love Mr R eventually, stranger things have happened. As for the Professor being a hopeless romantic… this is something I doubt very much.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke October 6, 2015 at 18:32

      *laughs* I’m not sure! MM was in it! Wasn’t he spicy, too? What a beast he is. Now, now. I’m heartless. Remember, we’ve agreed on that.

      • 3 PorterGirl October 7, 2015 at 05:58

        MM is always such a spicy chap, I am very fond of him. After all, he introduced us. Did we agree on heartless or two-hearted? It escapes me. In all probability – we didn’t agree on it at all! *laughs*

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke October 7, 2015 at 12:06

        Oh, I’m sure we agreed on heartless. I’m sure that’s what it is. After all, I don’t remember, the very sudden.

        MM did introduce us! I’m going to bring him back real soon.

      • 5 PorterGirl October 7, 2015 at 12:09

        Hmm! I shall have to trust your word, Professor *laughing lots*
        Goody – MM is one of my favourites, as you know. I hope he is as manly as ever *laughs*

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2015 at 20:52

        And my word is usually trustworthy since I only lie every other day at least.

        He will be just as manly, and with a much better accent.

      • 7 PorterGirl October 9, 2015 at 08:32

        I trust you implicitly, but maybe that is because I am almost insane *laughs*
        I await the new and improved accent with interest!

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2015 at 13:15

        Insanity is a good thing. I think. At least I hope so. Since my analysts tell me I’m insane.

        Okay! I’m working on doing something here…

      • 9 PorterGirl October 9, 2015 at 15:18

        I shall continue headlong into the very path of insanity, then! He must be so much easier than being completely sane. I mean, I can’t even imagine that.
        Ooooh! I shall be wondering about this, you know…

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke October 11, 2015 at 17:34

        Imagine being completely sane! That would probably drive you insane, I’d say.

        *laughs* It might take some time…

      • 11 PorterGirl October 12, 2015 at 06:20

        Goodness, that is a thought to make my brain go all skew-whiff! *laughs*

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke October 12, 2015 at 20:03

        *laughs* It seems like some sort of circle. Done what you’ve looked!

      • 13 PorterGirl October 13, 2015 at 06:17

        *brain explodes wetly*

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke October 13, 2015 at 19:52

        Now we must glue it back together!

      • 15 PorterGirl October 13, 2015 at 20:18

        Absolutely – it will be fine with some glue and spit.

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 12:35

        *laughs* We can only hope, at least.

  2. 17 L. Marie October 4, 2015 at 23:36

    “You, madam, are definitely not a lady! You know very well what happened here. You sent me this as a token of your affection!”–Such classic lines from Mr. Ratherquite! And the fact that he still hangs on to Julia’s hair is priceless.

    I think Julia should go for Manly-Man.

    Meanwhile the wolf seems to be the only one enjoying himself.

    • 18 Professor VJ Duke October 5, 2015 at 21:11

      I know! What’s up with him? He must think he’s a king, you know. You should sort him out please. If you had one retort to that line (if he was addressing you) what would you say?

      Julia and MM? *laughs* That’d be something!

  3. 19 erinkenobi2893 October 3, 2015 at 14:53

    That was the best! Such fun at the ball. What excitement! X-P
    Mr. Ratherquite is an idiot.

    • 20 Professor VJ Duke October 3, 2015 at 18:30

      Isn’t he? *shakes head* Maybe he never graduated high school.

      • 21 erinkenobi2893 October 3, 2015 at 18:42

        It’s possible. However, idiots sometimes slip through the school system, you know. ;-) Without being detected or amended.

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke October 4, 2015 at 22:18

        That’s a good point. I once knew a chap that did. Clifford was his name. You might run into him. So, that’s a warning.

      • 23 erinkenobi2893 October 4, 2015 at 23:56

        I will be on my guard! *holds porcupine quill dramatically*

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke October 5, 2015 at 21:13

        Wow. That will scare a bear, I think.

      • 25 erinkenobi2893 October 6, 2015 at 03:05

        Yes indeed! *chases around a random grizzly and Daddy Salami with quill*

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke October 6, 2015 at 18:29

        *laughs* Keep doing it! It’s good for DS.

      • 27 erinkenobi2893 October 6, 2015 at 20:00

        *the grizzly bear wanders off* *keeps chasing DS*

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke October 7, 2015 at 12:01

        Chase him until he can’t breathe!

      • 29 erinkenobi2893 October 7, 2015 at 12:37

        *starts poking DS with a broom when he begins to flag* >:-D

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2015 at 20:56

        *DS cries out ‘stop, cur!’*

      • 31 erinkenobi2893 October 8, 2015 at 21:33

        *smacks him with a mop* I’ll stop when you stop calling me cur!

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2015 at 13:07

        Be careful he doesn’t jump you or something!

      • 33 erinkenobi2893 October 9, 2015 at 13:51

        I’ll be most cautious! *smacks him with a mop again*

  4. 34 Susan P October 3, 2015 at 12:39

    I always hide at parties. Mostly, it works. And I knew that pony tail was going to create more drama as it went along. It’s almost like it was alive.

    • 35 Professor VJ Duke October 3, 2015 at 18:29

      I think the ponytail is alive! You should capture it. I bet Harry brings you into the beastliness of parties, even if you try to hide.

      • 36 Susan P October 4, 2015 at 02:04

        I might do just that. Hmmm…

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke October 4, 2015 at 22:27

        Humph indeed, madam.

      • 38 Susan P October 5, 2015 at 00:51

        There are parties and then there are parties…

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke October 5, 2015 at 21:13

        I’m…yes you’re right.

      • 40 Susan P October 5, 2015 at 22:38

        For instance, there is a quilting party.

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke October 6, 2015 at 18:25

        What is that exactly?

      • 42 Susan P October 6, 2015 at 19:18

        It’s a lot like a guilting party.

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke October 7, 2015 at 11:56

        Now I’m fond of those.

      • 44 Susan P October 7, 2015 at 13:11

        Do you fry them or bake them?

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2015 at 20:59

        Deep fry. Always. When in doubt, see.

      • 46 Susan P October 10, 2015 at 13:46

        Keep lots of cherries and don’t worry.

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke October 11, 2015 at 17:47

        Cherries have pits.

      • 48 Susan P October 11, 2015 at 17:54

        That’s to keep you from eating them too fast.

  5. 49 Simply Skeptical October 2, 2015 at 23:33

    It’s just your want to cause mischief. Poor unassuming Mr. Ratherquite I do believe you set him up. And as if that wasn’t enough you’re causing another uproar. Oh my….

    • 50 Professor VJ Duke October 3, 2015 at 18:21

      I’m more wicked than even you!

  6. 51 John W. Howell October 2, 2015 at 20:01

    A lot of teeth bearing at this ball. Loved the wolf picture. Looks just like Julia.

    • 52 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 20:37

      Aha! So you’ve met Julia! And you never told me. *taps toes*

      • 53 John W. Howell October 3, 2015 at 00:39

        Well, I……um you see she and I uh….Never met her before and that’s my final answer.

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke October 3, 2015 at 18:26

        I believe you just a little bit, don’t you know.

      • 55 John W. Howell October 3, 2015 at 20:27

        That’s all I need

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke October 4, 2015 at 22:23

        A little bit goes a far way.

      • 57 John W. Howell October 4, 2015 at 23:06

        Like hot sauce.

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke October 5, 2015 at 21:10

        If you put hot sauce on a gum band, I would eat it.

      • 59 John W. Howell October 6, 2015 at 00:50

        You can tell a Pittsburgh man by the use of the term gum band. I do get the idea.

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke October 6, 2015 at 18:28

        Oh, that’s right. Rubber band elsewhere, I hear.

      • 61 John W. Howell October 6, 2015 at 18:34

        Yup. Except in my house where my wife says gumband

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke October 6, 2015 at 18:44

        Does she? Awesome. That’s a point for me somehow.

      • 63 John W. Howell October 6, 2015 at 18:59

        Yup. For sure.

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke October 7, 2015 at 11:56

        I’m winning, that means.

      • 65 John W. Howell October 7, 2015 at 16:26

        You’ve already won.

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2015 at 21:06

        Wow. That was huge for me.

      • 67 John W. Howell October 8, 2015 at 21:29

        *clink* Another gold medal.

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2015 at 13:06

        This is something.

      • 69 John W. Howell October 9, 2015 at 16:28

        A couple more and that submarine will be a done deal.

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke October 11, 2015 at 17:38

        Of course, after a couple more, I might want a nuclear sub, too.

      • 71 John W. Howell October 11, 2015 at 20:19

        Hold on you just doubled the price.

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke October 12, 2015 at 19:57

        Oh rats. We must get double the medals then.

      • 73 John W. Howell October 12, 2015 at 21:33

        Okay. Double the heroic deeds

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke October 13, 2015 at 19:42

        Easier said than done. I must find some booklets on what to do when one runs out of heroic ideas.

      • 75 John W. Howell October 13, 2015 at 20:25

        Google heroic deeds

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 12:37

        I did Hercules comes up. Impossible stuff, don’t you know.

      • 77 John W. Howell October 14, 2015 at 13:01

        Hercules? Yes, I would say impossible. How about walking an old lady across the street?

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 19:36

        Is that heroic enough, though?

      • 79 John W. Howell October 14, 2015 at 21:42

        Depends on who the old lady is.

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2015 at 12:24

        That’s true. Hillary?

      • 81 John W. Howell October 20, 2015 at 12:44

        LOL

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:23

        *laughs too*

  7. 83 Debbie October 2, 2015 at 19:26

    I think the wolf stole the show here, Professor! What a cutie — love his ferocious snarl…and his sharp toofies!! Do your doggins ever look kind of like that?!

    Yes, indeed, you’re being very wicked. But I have a sneaking suspicion Julia will come around and join Mr. R.’s ladies. Why not? Maybe at least until her hair grows back and she doesn’t look — and feel — so scalped!

    Manly-Man’s the man! “Honey-butts”?? I’m still laughing!

    • 84 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 20:36

      *smiles* Sometimes. When they’re on the hunt for humans! But…didn’t you notice the caption? That sweet no-sweet doggie is eating a human!

      Well, she still has hair. It’s just short is all. The ponytail was a sign of pride. I took her pride. Isn’t that something?

      *laughs* It’s such a saying.

      • 85 Susan P October 3, 2015 at 12:40

        You are lucky you lived to tell the story….

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke October 3, 2015 at 18:30

        That’s because I’ve got a breastplate.

      • 87 Susan P October 4, 2015 at 19:58

        I don’t know if it would be a good idea to use it again, though.

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke October 4, 2015 at 22:28

        Why?

      • 89 Susan P October 5, 2015 at 00:51

        Think, man!

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke October 5, 2015 at 21:14

        Won’t!

      • 91 Susan P October 5, 2015 at 22:39

        I shall send The Thinker.

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke October 6, 2015 at 18:25

        Is that Harry?

      • 93 Susan P October 6, 2015 at 19:22

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke October 7, 2015 at 11:57

        Oh, him! I like that chap. But he needs some clothes.

      • 95 Susan P October 7, 2015 at 13:24

        Probably doesn’t like them.

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2015 at 21:00

        Why do you suppose?

      • 97 Susan P October 10, 2015 at 13:48

        Maybe he is an introvert and is taking his time getting his wardrobe together.

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke October 11, 2015 at 17:47

        Do introverts like extroverts?

      • 99 Susan P October 11, 2015 at 17:56

        Every body likes extroverts as long as they can escape as needed.

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke October 12, 2015 at 19:53

        Escape how?

      • 101 Susan P October 12, 2015 at 20:24

        Well, they are good at it, but they use various methods. Often you don’t seem them when they are right in the room with you.

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke October 13, 2015 at 19:39

        But not the professor. I see everyone.

      • 103 Susan P October 13, 2015 at 20:20

        I don’t know about that. It seems kind of ambitious.

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 12:36

        Wouldn’t you say I’m ambitious?

      • 105 Susan P October 14, 2015 at 15:06

        Overly so at times.;)

  8. 106 desertdweller29 October 2, 2015 at 19:05

    Dreadfully wicked, indeed!

    • 107 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 20:35

      And cunning?

  9. 108 walt walker October 2, 2015 at 17:30

    “Honey-butts.” I need to start using that one. Maybe I will try it out in the office today.

    • 109 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 20:35

      *laughs* Let me know what people think of it. Do you suppose your wife would be insulted?

      • 110 walt walker October 3, 2015 at 01:00

        She might find something of mine to cut off.

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke October 3, 2015 at 18:28

        Not your awesome goatee!

      • 112 walt walker October 3, 2015 at 21:44

        Let’s hope not.

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke October 4, 2015 at 22:24

        You would just have to glue it back on is all.

      • 114 walt walker October 5, 2015 at 02:05

        I think that might be itchy.

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke October 5, 2015 at 21:15

        Just about like it is now. No worse.

  10. 116 Lady Dunamis October 2, 2015 at 16:30

    Dude! This just keeps getting better and better. The nerve of Mr. R thinking that Julia was just being pretentious. Such a pompous rat-n-heifer, wouldn’t you say? And his trio trolls only added fuel to the fire. Nice. Once again, good call in sending Mr. R to the wolves…lol 👏😂

    Btw, that picture of the wolf was hilarious. 😂😂😂

    • 117 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 20:29

      *laughs* Love your PA! Mr. R needs fetched out. Period. He’s way out of control, the beast. Wasn’t it cool how I set the whole thing up? *proudly is proud*

      That’s her, I swear!

      • 118 Lady Dunamis October 2, 2015 at 21:53

        I totally agree. He needs a dose of reality. You might need to call Wolverine just in case things don’t go as planned.

        Yes the escape was cool but someone is bound to see your stealthy ways. You never know who is watching.

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke October 3, 2015 at 18:21

        Is that the chap with the claws on his hands?

        You would bust me, that’s for sure. But these chaps? Not a chance!

      • 120 Lady Dunamis October 5, 2015 at 15:32

        Yes. How interesting. You seem to be millennial but have an old soul. And you didn’t know Wolverine ?! Odd fellow you are….lol

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke October 5, 2015 at 21:19

        Hey now! I’m so old you wouldn’t believe it.

  11. 122 FictionFan October 2, 2015 at 14:48

    So, so wicked! *tries not to laugh at the picture of the wolf…but fails* Mr Ratherquite’s ladies were very restrained, I feel. Perhaps they’re tiring of his dreadful flirtatiousness and will be looking around for a new gentleman to escort them *sends them each a chunk of the Professor’s hair* It’s exciting to wonder which one of them you will choose… that’s assuming you survive the furious revenge of the bibbity-bobber… *gets popcorn and sits back*

    • 123 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 20:28

      Who me? Wicked? I’m the sweetest thing ever. Sweet like a snail and a worm. But now that you bring it up, his ladies were a bit laid back. Maybe they’re dreadfully cranky with him, the sudden. I bet that’s it, the sudden. One of them for me? No thanks, madam! I’m heartless and incapable of love. What think you of that?

      • 124 FictionFan October 3, 2015 at 00:19

        I think it’s a lot of stuff and nonsense, sir! I shall merely mention ‘So Close’ and I think even you will have to admit that the case for you being a big soft soppy romantic is conclusively proved once and for all! (You know, it’s incredibly difficult to type when a cat is sitting on your neck licking your nose – just thought I’d mention that!) Are worms sweet? Mmm… sounds yummy! Must try one.

        I think you should choose Isabella…

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke October 3, 2015 at 18:23

        So Close? What is that? I’ve never heard on it before. I think you make these things up. In fact, I’m not even sure what Enchanted is, the sudden! How freeing that was. (*laughing lots* I can picture this! It was Tommy, wasn’t it?) I’ll send you some…for the beanie.

        Aha! Which one is that again?

      • 126 FictionFan October 3, 2015 at 22:40

        *laughs lots* Good try, but I fear it’s too late to salvage your reputation now! Did you hear in the film that someone called someone else a sweetie pumpkin? I’m going to write and tell Mr Disney he forgot the pie. (*chokes on cat hair* How did you guess?) Oh yes… the beanie! Not sure how good it’ll look now Tuppence has been chewing the wool for a few weeks…

        Dadblameit! You’ve caught me out! I was kinda hoping you’d remember…

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke October 4, 2015 at 22:26

        Oh rats. Am I a hopeless romantic, FEF? You should know…I probably shouldn’t tell you, but I will: my church is throwing a… That’s funny, I forget. But it’s some sort of dance. (Because he’s the sweet one! Tuppence was probably in your bed.) Well…can’t you put my beanie in a safe place? I know! With the camera. It will never get touched, then.

        The blond one!

      • 128 FictionFan October 5, 2015 at 15:26

        You are, I fear, but your secret is safe with me! *laughs and laughs and laughs* No!!!!! You will have to dance then – no way out now! But be wary, my warrior, for wicked Cupid lurks in the dark corners of dance halls, casting his sneaky spells to make everyone look twice as attractive as they really are… and with that and the music and the dancing… I fear for you, heartless one!!

        *laughs and stamps foot* Oh dadblameit, why don’t I just send you the dadblamed camera instead?!!!

        I wonder if she’ll be at the… you know…

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke October 5, 2015 at 21:18

        But you said it…I’m heartless. I should be fine IF I go. I’ve decided not to, of course. They asked but I’m not going. Not a place for me, really. *shudders* Can you imagine? No, not me. No, no, no! See, that’s that.

        Yes please! I’ll take it. Send it with the beanie.

        At the what?

      • 130 FictionFan October 6, 2015 at 15:02

        Oh, of course not! Not your kind of thing at all! Only romantic people should go to such things – not heartless warriors!. But… just in case you have to go, say, to rescue a damsel in distress, or to fight off the legendary Beast of the Ball… you should probably start practising your dancing. You’ll need to be able to blend in, see, and keep your secret warriorness hidden…

        *growls ferociously*

        At the…you know…ball! *runs off, giggling*

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke October 6, 2015 at 18:37

        Beast of the Ball? That’s cool. But, yes, I’d seriously be out of my thingy. I forget what sort of dancing it is, but it’s fast. *shudders*

        *laughs*

        *holding ears* I can’t hear you, the sudden.

      • 132 FictionFan October 6, 2015 at 22:48

        But being out of your thingy is good! It’s character-building… *nods wisely* Flamenco? Barn-dance?? Charleston??? You’ll love it – and there might be a beautiful princess there, in a lovely ballgown, just waiting to meet her handsome prince…

        *chuckles wickedly*

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke October 7, 2015 at 12:02

        Maybe closer to barn-dance? FEF! I’m not going and that’s that. And since you’re not here, I don’t have to go. See how that works? It’s special really.

      • 134 FictionFan October 7, 2015 at 16:54

        Well, that sounds more like Professorial dancing than the cotillion! But you must go! The problem with dances is that there’s always more girls than men! It is your duty – and you must dance with every girl at least once! The beautiful Princess might be a little jealous, but she’ll admire your gentlemanly courtesy, and her heart will surely be yours… *sighs a little* Tell Nick I shall give him half my Kingdom for video footage of the Professor dancing… no, make that three-quarters!

      • 135 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2015 at 21:09

        Oh, I’m sure you’re right. Plenty of girls not lots of boys. The boys will be at the range, see, or at the gym or at MMA. that sort of thing. FEF, do I have to go?! I bet there won’t be a princess, don’t you know.

        *laughs* Oh no! No footage.

      • 136 FictionFan October 9, 2015 at 01:16

        The boys will be hiding under their beds, quivering! That’s what boys do any time it looks like they might have to dance! I fear you must go, poor C-W-W! All the greatest warriors had to go to dances, you know, you know… and some of them had to go in skirts!! The Princess might not be there, but look on it as practice… *tries not to laugh*

        Well… how about half my Kingdom for footage of Nick dancing then… *gives up the attempt and laughs lots*

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2015 at 13:12

        I would need lots of convincing to go. Certainly out of the question! I have more vicious things to do. More manly things. I shan’t go!

        Yeah, you think it’s funny…but it’s not!

      • 138 FictionFan October 10, 2015 at 00:28

        But dancing can be manly – and vicious!! *rubs old wounds* You must go! Think of those poor girls! I shall tell you a secret, but you musn’t tell the feminists I told you, or I shall be in huge trouble… You see, girls don’t really care whether the guy can dance or not. So long as they get to dance with someone gorgeous, and maybe even someone who pays them a tiny little compliment – love the colour of your dress or your hair looks great like that or something – then they’re so happy and relieved you could dance like the New Zealand rugby team and they wouldn’t care. And since you’re gorgeous, you’re already more than halfway there! *checks behind her for rampaging feminists*

        No, of course it’s not! *turns away and giggles*

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke October 11, 2015 at 17:45

        *laughs* Goodness! You have battle wounds from dancing? *considers* #DancingIsStillGirly Goodness, but I’m horrible at paying compliments. Imagine me saying something about hair. Yeah, I doubt that could happen. And imagine how embarrassing it would be! *shudders* Still, it’s a good thing they don’t care about dancing. And I’m not gorgeous. More orc.

        *narrows both eyes* Bet you wouldn’t go!

      • 140 FictionFan October 11, 2015 at 22:58

        Yeah, but you should see the other guy! Well, I’m nearly at the point of giving up but I shall make one last effort – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbJruWd6bmU

        Bet I would!!! And I’d drag you onto the dance floor and make you laugh, and then you’d see what fun dancing can be…

      • 141 Professor VJ Duke October 12, 2015 at 20:02

        Oh no. You killed him? *laughs* You know that song?! What a wonder.

        You would? I’d hide from you then.

      • 142 FictionFan October 12, 2015 at 22:46

        Oh, no – I must be a real disappointment to you, but I don’t kill people either! Sorry!

        If you’re as rude to the girls at the dance as you are to me, your problem should be solved – none of them will want to dance with you! *stomps off*

      • 143 Professor VJ Duke October 13, 2015 at 19:47

        Don’t kill people? Unless you want to walk me off a cliff, of course.

        *laughing* I’m rude and crude, what can I say? It’s one of my attributes.


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TPL Schedule

Sunday: OFF — Day of Shalt Nots

Monday: TPL Story

Tuesday: OFF — Because I'm Gone

Wednesday: Professor Speaks

Thursday: OFF — Because Yes

Friday: OFF — All Day Sleep Does

Saturday: OFF — Blue-Footed Boobies Need Fed

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Professorish Smiley:

==[:-{)=

or

==[:-{)+

Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


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