When a fight breaks out at a ball, the first thing to do is hide.
Once you discover that it’s a safe fight, you can come out.
But since this professor caused the fight, I didn’t hide, so I didn’t have to come out of hiding.
Julia was screaming.
That was clear.
And Mr. Ratherquite was yelling.
That was also clear.
So, this wily professor climbed the stairs to the second level. I leaned just a bit out over the railing, and took a listen:
Mr. Ratherquite was saying: “You mean you don’t find me an attractive gentleman?”
Julia scrunched up her whole face–yes, she can do that sort of thing. “Not at all! And give me my hair!”
She made a grab for the ponytail Mr. Ratherquite was holding.
But, surprisingly, the chap was rather quick.
The Ladies–Mr. Ratherquite’s ladies–were spitting in rage. At Julia, of course.
Julia pointed a shaking finger at Mr. Ratherquite. “Tell me the truth! Did PVJ give you that?”
Mr. Ratherquite grew red in the face. “You, madam, are definitely not a lady! You know very well what happened here. You sent me this as a token of your affection!”
Julia’s face was hilarious. Well, cranky, but hilarious to this professor. I couldn’t help but laugh as my wily plan unfolded beautifully.
Yes, I’m dreadfully wicked.
Then, one of the ladies whispered something in Mr. Ratherquite’s ear, and he nodded and smiled.
“Ahh,” he said, circling Julia, “I see. It’s part of your lady-game. This whole…” Mr. Ratherquite spread his arms wide and continued his march around Julia. “…this whole act of pretending to be insulted! I see!”
By this time, a crowd had gathered.
Manly-Man was even there. He said to Mr. Ratherquite, “Hey dude, I doesn’t think she wants you, you know.”
“Yeah,” Schwarz Tauptinker affirmed, “definitely not. Chickit!”
“Oh, don’t be sillies, gentlemen!” Mr. Ratherquite almost yelled. “I know Julia loves me deeply, or why else would she send her hair?”
“I didn’t!” Julia screamed. “Where is PVJ?!”
Mr. Ratherquite smiled deeply. “At first the ladies are scared of me, it is true.”
The Ladies giggled.
Then a shocking thing happened: Julia snarled.
“Enough!” she said.
Then she turned and walked out of the ballroom.
“She’ll come around,” Mr. Ratherquite laughed. “She will come to love me.”
“That’s disgusting, honey-butts,” Manly-Man said.
And the party went back to its normal boring self.
This professor made his way downstairs into the main hall. The noise of the ball was just a little noise out here.
Prince Beef was there.
“Oh,” I said, “I hear you’re getting married? Congrats and a bit!”
He spun on me viciously. “Who told you that?!” he snapped.