Downtown, Stealing Names

So, the professor went downtown.

Pittsburgh_WEO_Night_1

That’s Pittsburgh, PLF. Fantastic place.

But the professor didn’t go downtown at night.

It was day.

summer-events-pittsburgh

That’s the bridge I always cross coming into Pittsburgh, just because it’s there. Otherwise, I’d have to swim.

But not a nice sunny summer day.

It was a fall (autumn) day and it was a bit gray.

Quick Proverb about Autumn:

Autumn: When humans delight in death and decay.

~ V. Shnodgrate

Pittsburgh-in-Autumn

Something like this, don’t you know.

Now, there was a big thing going on at one of the tallest buildings.

I say big thing, ’cause there were lots of people parking lots of cars for lots of other people, and there were lots of people moving about. Lots of people, see.

It looked like a casual dress sort of thing. Maybe something for work.

So, being the curious professor that I am, I moved closer.

Everyone was going through the revolving doors; I can’t resist revolving doors; I went through.

ktv_secure_054076_1200x1200.jpg_image_slider_product_image_slider_zoom

If you’ve never tried one, you must immediately.

As soon as I spun around and was in the building, I spotted this fellow sitting behind a desk.

He beckoned to me.

Being sensible and fearless, I went over.

“‘Sup, my man,” I said.

It’s one of my favorite greetings, don’t you know.

He was obviously very bored and very tired, for he rolled his eyes and said: “Name?”

Now this was something. Why did he want my name?

Then it dawned on me, faster than a caterpillar can move in the rain: He was staring at a list in front of him, searching for my name.

This meeting or whatever was clearly not open to the public, see.

He made one fatal flaw: He didn’t cover up the sheet.

So, this professor spied a name that I liked (Darnell Thomas) and I stole it, just like that.

“Darnell Thomas,” I said.

“Ahh, Mr. Thomas,” he said, checking off the name and handing me the badge. “All the way down that hallway on your left. Enjoy your time.”

As I made my way down the hallway, I put on my new name.

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153 Responses to “Downtown, Stealing Names”


  1. 1 sweetaces December 2, 2015 at 13:27

    Oh No you didnt. But it sorta has a nice ring to it.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke December 2, 2015 at 20:34

      *laughs* Surprised I stole a name?

      • 3 sweetaces December 2, 2015 at 22:35

        Ofcourse. Pray tell…what happened afterwards

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke December 3, 2015 at 14:48

        Well, I escaped. Have I ever told you I’m good at escaping?

      • 5 sweetaces December 3, 2015 at 15:44

        Oh no you didnt. You seem to leave out very important imformation PVJ…hope you didn’t lose a coin…I heard something fall. Or is it a gold tooth…or a belt head??

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke December 4, 2015 at 19:52

        A gold tooth! I’d like one of those, wouldn’t you?

      • 7 sweetaces December 5, 2015 at 08:50

        Er..lol. I don’t want captain hook chasing me about in my dreams…you can have it I suppose…PVJ..lol

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke December 10, 2015 at 14:23

        But if he chased you about, you could fight him off!

      • 9 sweetaces December 10, 2015 at 16:53

        Oh…am too fragile. I couldnt possibly fight off a fly even..

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke December 11, 2015 at 03:15

        Flies are easy. You just have to break their wings off, see.

      • 11 sweetaces December 11, 2015 at 07:17

        Oh but such buzz. ..I couldnt stand it

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke December 13, 2015 at 20:04

        That’s a good point. The buzzing is relentless.

      • 13 sweetaces December 13, 2015 at 20:38

        It is indeed

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2015 at 19:51

        I hate flies, in fact.

      • 15 sweetaces December 15, 2015 at 21:35

        Me 3

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke December 17, 2015 at 15:24

        *laughing* Just swat them with a club.

      • 17 sweetaces December 17, 2015 at 16:53

        I will do one better. Call the bug clinic. They are professionals you see

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2015 at 15:14

        That’s way better!

      • 19 sweetaces December 18, 2015 at 22:36

        Aha! Atleast we agree

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke December 21, 2015 at 14:13

        Does that mean I win?

      • 21 sweetaces December 21, 2015 at 23:29

        Yes indeed

  2. 22 erinkenobi2893 November 5, 2015 at 22:41

    X-D I might have stolen the Doctor’s name. I think. Anyway, it’s why he’s called the Doctor.

  3. 23 Nancy Loderick October 20, 2015 at 20:51

    Well Professor,

    Maybe you should come up with a different name and go to a yoga conference or something. I bet there will no Chihuahuas or blood transfusions there! But, there might be lots of vegetables since serious
    yoga people are usually vegetarian. :)

    Nancy

    • 24 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:33

      Yoga confuses me. And I’d break into tiny pieces going into those positions… *dies*

      • 25 Nancy Loderick October 21, 2015 at 22:12

        Hey Professor,

        Well, you never know until you try! And some yogis believe in re-incarnation. So you may just come back as a butterfly or something. :)

        Nancy

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:53

        Can I come back as a Patriot, please?

      • 27 Nancy Loderick October 27, 2015 at 20:09

        Well Professor,

        I don’t think you get to choose what you come back as. Heaven forbid, you might come back as a New York Giant.

        Nancy

  4. 28 Heartafire October 18, 2015 at 15:51

    Oh, dear professor, you dropped off my reader and mail…what does it mean? I am terrified of revolving doors, I once got stuck in one for hours just going around and around.

    • 29 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2015 at 12:32

      Oh no. You dropped me?! Well, here’s the thing, once one starts going in revolving doors, one can’t stop. It’s such a pain. How did you get out?

      • 30 Heartafire October 20, 2015 at 13:19

        Hi! It’s great to see you again! :-). Someone gave me a mighty shove and out I flew! Wow, was I relieved.

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:24

        Of course I wouldn’t do that. Maybe it was the wicked police.

      • 32 Heartafire October 21, 2015 at 13:00

        The did offer me a ride downtown…

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:20

        Did you go?

      • 34 Heartafire October 21, 2015 at 19:22

        I made a quick get away to the shoe department.:-)

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:33

        Now the question is: did you buy any shoes?

      • 36 Heartafire October 21, 2015 at 19:37

        I bought some rhinestone slippers to go with my tiara and jewel encrusted wand.

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:49

        You’ve got a wand?! *eyes pop out*

      • 38 Heartafire October 22, 2015 at 17:55

        It seemed I should have one when I am doing the Royal wave thingy

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:40

        Now, what is the royal wave thingy?

      • 40 Heartafire October 23, 2015 at 03:09

        the wave…don’t play coy.

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 13:16

        *laughs* You got me.

  5. 42 Lady Dunamis October 15, 2015 at 23:06

    The guard is a slacker. He should have asked for an id like most security guards do. I am confident that if they had you on surveillance you might go to jail for kinda committing identity theft.

    • 43 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2015 at 12:30

      Hey! You’re always so wicked to me. I, of course, did nothing wrong. The chap did let me in. Maybe that is my name anyway?

      • 44 Lady Dunamis October 20, 2015 at 13:23

        *chuckles* Me wicked? Well I nevah! No doubt the chap let you in but the fact you assumed an identity that you knew wasn’t yours is proof enough of your guilt.

        Ah yes, that could be your name along with a thousand other aliases. I bet you are probably wanted in 10 countries and nobody knows your real name.

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:25

        Yes, you just a bit, Lady! Well, that’s true. But didn’t he sorta push the name list to me? I had to pick one to be polite see.

        *laughing lots* You take me for a common criminal!

      • 46 Lady Dunamis October 21, 2015 at 13:45

        Really PVJ?! Did you just go there? He sorta pushed the list name. My, my that is a wicked, angle wouldn’t ya say? The depravity in the PL…….Pretty soon you guys are gonna need a priest….lol!

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:24

        *laughs* Oh I did! And you know I’m semi-right! Which is as good as being all right. Very true about the priest. You should call someone for me, just in case.

      • 48 Lady Dunamis October 21, 2015 at 20:17

        😀 too funny. *laughing* help him lawd….

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:52

        *laughs* Then again, maybe I like being wicked.

      • 50 Lady Dunamis October 22, 2015 at 14:08

        I believe you… Lol!

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:28

        I don’t see why you believe me know but not other times!

      • 52 Lady Dunamis October 23, 2015 at 11:03

        Evil tells the truth @ times, just not ALL the time.

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 13:21

        That sounds like me for some reason…

  6. 54 PorterGirl October 15, 2015 at 06:09

    My, that is a lovely bridge. I really do have a penchant for bridges, don’t you know. I would go back and forth across that all day. Also, Pittsburgh looks quite marvellous by day or night – I needs must visit and see which type I like best.
    I thought you very cunning to steal a name and gain entry to the place – but then, I would expect nothing less of the Professor!

    • 55 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2015 at 12:27

      *laughing* Back and forth across it all day? Why, that’s a thing. It is fun to cross the bridges, though. I say, it’s much better at day. At night, see, I might get lost.

      Thank you, Lucy! Maybe I should’ve picked a better name?

      • 56 PorterGirl October 20, 2015 at 12:57

        Hmm, I do see your point. Night time adventures can be risky like that.
        What’s in a name? It’s the stealing bit that I like!

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:23

        *laughs* Who cares about names anyway! I stole one, and you’re right, that’s what matters mostly most.

      • 58 PorterGirl October 21, 2015 at 13:30

        Quite! But actually, I did think it was a good one. Even if it turned out to belong to a girl *laughs*

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:23

        *laughs* Now that would be something! Walk around claiming I’m…Deb!

      • 60 PorterGirl October 21, 2015 at 19:34

        Well! You might get away with it, but I suspect not – even with your great skills of such things.

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:46

        *laughing lots* Very true. That might be a hard one to get away with. Rats. A challenge that must be won!

      • 62 PorterGirl October 22, 2015 at 14:51

        All challenges must be won, I say! By someone, at least.

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:30

        Yes. If a challenge goes un-won, then….that’s horrible!

      • 64 PorterGirl October 23, 2015 at 10:35

        It upsets the balance of things, I think.

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 13:19

        And that causes all sorts of dadblamery.

      • 66 PorterGirl October 23, 2015 at 15:01

        Doesn’t it just. And dadblamery always leads to far worse things, if left unchecked.

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2015 at 20:12

        *nods* That’s how I came about, see.

      • 68 PorterGirl October 25, 2015 at 09:29

        *laughs* That explains a lot!

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke October 26, 2015 at 20:19

        Doesn’t it, tho?

      • 70 PorterGirl October 26, 2015 at 20:47

        It rather does. It is all so clear, now.

  7. 71 E. October 14, 2015 at 22:33

    That proverb is all too true. And revolving doors are the most fun one can have when entering or exiting a building!

    • 72 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2015 at 12:26

      Aren’t they? So, how many times do you go around?

      • 73 E. October 20, 2015 at 17:11

        Usually twice before someone pushes me out. But I once managed to go around three times uninterrupted! That was a good day.

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:31

        *laughs* You rock, E. And you hold the record. I must beat it!

      • 75 E. October 22, 2015 at 18:04

        Do it! Let us see who shall reign supreme in the art of running through spinning doors!

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:41

        The challenge is on!

  8. 77 Debbie October 14, 2015 at 17:45

    So you can read upside down, too, Professor?? Very handy skill, you know! However, I think I’d have found out what sort of gathering it was before picking a name and pinning on a new identity. After all, they could be taste-testing nasty things like Lima beans, or worse!

    I do love the bridge and revolving doors — very pretty part of the country you call home, sir!

    • 78 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 19:49

      Well, just a little bit upside down. I practice at it, don’t you know. Lima beans?! *dies* No, please. That’d be horribly awful. John suggested it might be an organ donor thingy. Imagine that! I’m doomed. Of course, let’s be optimistic: it might be about cherry cookies in a noodle sauce.

      Isn’t it awesome? I’m in love with it.

      • 79 Debbie October 14, 2015 at 20:32

        I can see why! Love all the water — it’s much prettier than I’d imagined! We get desensitized to our own surroundings sometimes, until we see them through other folks’ eyes.

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2015 at 12:22

        That is so true! Must be the eyes fault, you know. We should blame them.

  9. 81 Simply Skeptical October 14, 2015 at 17:15

    Ahhh sounds fun! And I know it’s no worry for this Professor when the real Mr. Thomas does come?? They might hunt you down you know. Let the Punchy fun begin…..

    • 82 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 19:47

      Well, I’m hoping they’ll throw that mean beast out on his rear. After all, I have his name.

      • 83 Simply Skeptical October 16, 2015 at 11:15

        hee, heee, it’s thinking like that which makes you one of a kind Sir! giggles….

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2015 at 12:31

        I’m a bit insane, you know.

  10. 85 fauquetmichel October 14, 2015 at 16:59

    mistake ,read : feature .

    • 86 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 19:47

      Aha! I thought so, my man. All good.

  11. 87 fauquetmichel October 14, 2015 at 16:58

    Is not a name a precious deature ? What would we be without name ?
    On another topic , I like very much the photos
    In friendship
    Michel

    • 88 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 19:46

      So true. I stole his name. I should probably be hanged for it. But I don’t feel like apologizing either. Rats.

  12. 89 John W. Howell October 14, 2015 at 15:54

    Better hope it’s not an organ donation party.

    • 90 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 19:43

      Oh my goodness! Can you imagine? I will be the first out of there, of course.

  13. 91 InfiniteZip October 14, 2015 at 15:53

    I do so love the roundly round…..do you think we could fit unicorns in there? Like a carousel?

    • 92 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 19:43

      We could try. Might be a bit small. And you know who might get mad at us.

      • 93 InfiniteZip October 15, 2015 at 08:32

        True that…she might….but maybe if we threw cookies in there she could learn to enjoy it? She likes cookies….coconut ones….smaccaroons.

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2015 at 12:29

        Wow. She has rather expensive tastes, doesn’t she?

      • 95 InfiniteZip October 20, 2015 at 13:01

        You could say that….I’m surprised she’s not missing her rhinestones yet…

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:24

        What’s a rhinestone?

      • 97 InfiniteZip October 21, 2015 at 13:02

        Pretty things…..very pretty things😊

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:21

        Like the professor, for instance.

      • 99 InfiniteZip October 21, 2015 at 19:35

        Is the professor pretty? Or do you mean the professor likes pretty things? If it’s the later….that explains why you like me😃💎 or you could be talking about the patriots wife the antelope I think her name is…

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:48

        The professor? *laughing* Not at all. Maybe. I don’t know these things. The patriots wife? Explain yourself, madam!

      • 101 InfiniteZip October 22, 2015 at 15:38

        She is a Giselle….or perhaps an antelope…some kind of beast she married….he has smallish balls he likes to toy with I heard…

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:36

        Hahaha. *Professorish eye* Brady is heartless, like me, we don’t get married, see.

      • 103 InfiniteZip October 23, 2015 at 08:34

        Perhaps she said no then….I’m sure he must have asked…..💎or he was too busy playing with his leather thingy….🏉

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 13:18

        I think you like him, don’t you?

      • 105 InfiniteZip October 23, 2015 at 15:48

        Ummmm. No…I don’t like slick cheaters….

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2015 at 20:14

        He doesn’t cheat! *stamps foot*

      • 107 InfiniteZip October 24, 2015 at 20:36

        She laughs to herself and says aloud to nobody….yes he does!

      • 108 Professor VJ Duke October 26, 2015 at 20:15

        *holds ears* What was that?

  14. 109 Susan P October 14, 2015 at 15:20

    You’d better be ready. I have a feeling that Darnell Thomas will be looking for you given your exploits and mischief. Yep. Also, I noticed that the name came with a vicious Chihuahua.

    • 110 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 19:42

      DT has a Chihuahua, too? The beast. Susan, I’ll just hide from him if he comes in.

      • 111 Susan P October 14, 2015 at 21:27

        You can run, but you can’t out run him.

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2015 at 12:23

        Then I’ll just hide.

      • 113 Susan P October 20, 2015 at 13:50

        You should get in touch with the A-Team.

      • 114 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:28

        I’m part of the A-Team, of course.

      • 115 Susan P October 21, 2015 at 12:55

        Well then get rid of the crack house down the road.

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:20

        But I’m helping them sell!

      • 117 Susan P October 21, 2015 at 23:54

        You may be a rascal, but I cannot imagine you would do that. Unless it is candy.

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:56

        I’m a rascal of the worst kind, though.

      • 119 Susan P October 22, 2015 at 17:46

        I have heard tell that what goes around comes around. Or is it the other way.

  15. 120 desertdweller29 October 14, 2015 at 15:18

    Sup, my man. That proverb is spot on. Hey, I took a bridge yesterday too! Yep, right into NYC. It’s true. And you’re right–it beats swimming. Now we must find out what mischief you’re about to embark upon… Hopefully you’re done with your ponytail cutting obsession. Stay away from scissors, dear professor.

    • 121 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 19:42

      Sup, DD! Into NYC?! Why, you’re on the east coast. How are you finding the weather?

      Well, I don’t know. What if I see a really nice ponytail…?

      • 122 desertdweller29 October 14, 2015 at 20:33

        On the east coast for a week. Beautiful fall colors! And excellent weather. Cactus needles just don’t turn any other color, go figure.

        It has to be an exquisitely high ponytail. Only then could it be allowed.

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2015 at 12:22

        Dadblame cacti. So…how did you find the east coast?

        Okay, then. I shall keep this in mind.

  16. 124 unjellanera October 14, 2015 at 14:12

    Haha! If I was you I’d give a very formal but comic name ;)

    • 125 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 19:40

      Good deal! But what? I’m awful at coming up with names on the spot.

      • 126 unjellanera October 15, 2015 at 03:14

        Donald Hump?

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2015 at 12:26

        *laughing* Now you’re picking on the chap!

  17. 128 walt walker October 14, 2015 at 13:24

    Is it really theft if the fellow beckoned to you? I mean, he practically invited you to take a name. It was rude of him to not turn the list around so you could better see your choices.

    • 129 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 19:38

      *laughing* I love how you think. So true. After all, he did invite. I’m not to blame. Do you think they could send me to jail over this?

      • 130 walt walker October 14, 2015 at 19:53

        Well, what if the Girl Scouts beckoned you over and you took a box of cookies? Would you go to jail for that? I don’t think so. And even if you did get arrested, well you know what to do.

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2015 at 12:21

        Quite right: I’d bust out. Now, it’s an interest. If they did invite me over, I would take some cookies, and not pay for them, because, after all, they did invite me over. I like this philosophy.

  18. 132 L. Marie October 14, 2015 at 13:19

    Oh good. We’ll get to hear what the meeting is all about. I hope there are snacks. :-) And when the other Darnell Thomas shows up, perhaps the two of you can share a plate of finger food. Or, one of you can introduce the other to a knuckle sandwich. ‘Cause a fight is about to brew up in that place.

    • 133 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 19:38

      Yes, that’s the thing. Hopefully, when the real DT shows up, they’ll throw him out, since I already took his name. Of course, he might come right in. In which case, I’ll definitely share a plate of finger food with the chap. After all, it’s the least I can do.

  19. 134 Alastair Savage October 14, 2015 at 13:18

    Love that proverb – it’s too true!

    • 135 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 19:37

      *laughs* I know…what brutes we are. But I think it’s probably your fault, Alastair.

  20. 136 Little Rants October 14, 2015 at 13:12

    Someone got lucky!

    • 137 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2015 at 19:36

      I did! Of course, I maybe could’ve done a bit better with the name I chose, tho.

      • 138 Little Rants October 14, 2015 at 22:08

        Maybe.

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2015 at 12:25

        See? You like the name, after all.

      • 140 Little Rants October 20, 2015 at 13:45

        Hahaha. Kinda.

      • 141 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:27

        Okay, then, I think you like the “Darnell” bit and not the “Thomas” bit. That’s what I’ve decided.

      • 142 Little Rants October 21, 2015 at 13:46

        I loathe “Thomas”. Stupid reason.

      • 143 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:25

        *taps fingers* Aren’t you going to tell me why?! You have to. I’m so curious, the sudden.

      • 144 Little Rants October 22, 2015 at 03:27

        Has to do with a person I know.

      • 145 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:59

        *laughs lots and bangs head and implores* Please tell me more!

      • 146 Little Rants October 22, 2015 at 14:05

        This person is super annoying. And he makes Umbrigde look and sound like a cute little fat hamster.

      • 147 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:27

        *laughing* You know, that is a great reason not to like the name, I say.

      • 148 Little Rants October 23, 2015 at 02:29

        He irritates the living daylights out of me. Ugh.

      • 149 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:42

        On purpose? I think it’s time for revenge, see.

      • 150 Little Rants October 23, 2015 at 02:44

        Oh yes it is. What shall we do about it, Professor?

      • 151 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 13:14

        Water balloons? That’s my go to, see.

      • 152 Little Rants October 23, 2015 at 16:28

        Oooh sounds like a good idea..!

      • 153 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2015 at 20:16

        I love doing it. Here’s one for you. Unless you want two.


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