My name tag said “Darnell Thomas” and I didn’t mind.
This is unusual.
Usually, this professor likes his name best.
But there was some sort of ring to Darnell Thomas. (Could also stand for Defensive Tackle.)
Anyways and some, I had snuck into some sort of conference and I was going to make the most of it.
I found a seat and sat, quicker than melting lava.
And what luck: as soon as I had sat, the meeting began.
An old woman–with flaming green hair–she must dye it, see–stood behind the podium, and started having speaks.
“Welcome everyone,” she said.
She spoke softly, but there was a scary tone in her voice.
In other words, if this professor was down an alleyway, and she was there, I’d run.
“First order of business,” she continued, “is this: We shall find out what blood type you are, then we will effectively start the transfusions.”
She stepped down from the podium, and this professor broke out into a sweat.
Transfusions? That was ghastly, scary, and horrid.
And at that minute, the real Darnell Thomas came in. He was carrying a Chihuahua.
(Okay, time out for a minute. ‘Chihuahua’ is not worth the trouble it takes to spell it. Dadblameit!)
Now, I knew it was Darnell Thomas because he was being chased by security. As soon as he came running in, I jumped up.
The Chihuahua bounded out of his arms and jumped on me, ripping at me with his sharp teeth.
I yelled “enough!” twice, but he didn’t seem to mind. Then I found out ‘he’ was a ‘she’ and it was even worse.
Darnell Thomas–the real one–was coming for me, but the security got him, and the dog, and dragged them out.
Probably to jail.
“Sorry for that, Mr. Thomas,” said the green-haired woman, who was, the sudden, standing next to me. “Will you give your announcement now?”
So I strode up to the podium, and said:
“I don’t think we should do anymore blood transfusions. Look what happened to the Incas.”
And I left.
[NOTE: It turns out, my line of reasoning with regards to the Incas and blood transfusions is quite flawed. See, the Incas actually had great success performing blood transfusions, way before blood types were even studied. This is because the Inca population had only two different blood types: A and O. Therefore, they did rather well at the practice. Of course, I’m sure the green-haired lady, or anyone else at the meeting, didn’t catch my mistake.]