The Meeting: Blood Transfusions

My name tag said “Darnell Thomas” and I didn’t mind.

This is unusual.

Usually, this professor likes his name best.

But there was some sort of ring to Darnell Thomas. (Could also stand for Defensive Tackle.)

FOXBORO, MA - NOVEMBER 14: Defensive tackle Vince Wilfork #75 of the New England Patriots watches the game against the Buffalo Bills at Gillette Stadium on November 14, 2004 in Foxboro, Massachusetts. The Patriots defeated the Bills 29-6. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

Mr. Vince W. DT.

Anyways and some, I had snuck into some sort of conference and I was going to make the most of it.

I found a seat and sat, quicker than melting lava.

And what luck: as soon as I had sat, the meeting began.

An old woman–with flaming green hair–she must dye it, see–stood behind the podium, and started having speaks.

“Welcome everyone,” she said.

She spoke softly, but there was a scary tone in her voice.

In other words, if this professor was down an alleyway, and she was there, I’d run.

images

“First order of business,” she continued, “is this: We shall find out what blood type you are, then we will effectively start the transfusions.”

She stepped down from the podium, and this professor broke out into a sweat.

Transfusions? That was ghastly, scary, and horrid.

And at that minute, the real Darnell Thomas came in. He was carrying a Chihuahua.

(Okay, time out for a minute. ‘Chihuahua’ is not worth the trouble it takes to spell it. Dadblameit!)

Now, I knew it was Darnell Thomas because he was being chased by security. As soon as he came running in, I jumped up.

The Chihuahua bounded out of his arms and jumped on me, ripping at me with his sharp teeth.

AngryDog

I yelled “enough!” twice, but he didn’t seem to mind. Then I found out ‘he’ was a ‘she’ and it was even worse.

Darnell Thomas–the real one–was coming for me, but the security got him, and the dog, and dragged them out.

Probably to jail.

“Sorry for that, Mr. Thomas,” said the green-haired woman, who was, the sudden, standing next to me. “Will you give your announcement now?”

So I strode up to the podium, and said:

“I don’t think we should do anymore blood transfusions. Look what happened to the Incas.”

And I left.

[NOTE: It turns out, my line of reasoning with regards to the Incas and blood transfusions is quite flawed. See, the Incas actually had great success performing blood transfusions, way before blood types were even studied. This is because the Inca population had only two different blood types: A and O. Therefore, they did rather well at the practice. Of course, I’m sure the green-haired lady, or anyone else at the meeting, didn’t catch my mistake.]

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111 Responses to “The Meeting: Blood Transfusions”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 November 5, 2015 at 18:09

    Wow. What an interest. :-P

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2015 at 21:14

      Isn’t it, though? Scary, too.

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 November 5, 2015 at 22:27

        Rather! :-P

  2. 4 mountainess October 21, 2015 at 19:54

    Thank you Professor for making me laugh this evening!

    • 5 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:50

      *bows* It is my pleasure! Doesn’t Darnell sound good on me?

      • 6 mountainess October 25, 2015 at 20:50

        It sounds fabulous on you

      • 7 Professor VJ Duke October 26, 2015 at 20:22

        It just rings, see. That’s so important.

  3. 8 Lady Dunamis October 21, 2015 at 15:33

    After the introduction of the chihuahua all I could think about was taco bell. Not sure that was a good thing.

    • 9 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:27

      Taco bell! How do you rate their food on a scale from 1 to 10?

      • 10 Lady Dunamis October 21, 2015 at 20:19

        After I had REAL taco? On a scale of 1 to 10 it is a negative gross. 😩

      • 11 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:52

        *laughing lots* I haven’t eaten at taco bell since I was a little winker.

  4. 12 Heartafire October 21, 2015 at 14:31

    It seems most of us agree that Chicahuawans are not worth their kibble, no tomatoes ASPC, I would prefer to meet the green haired lady than DT in an alley. I’m just being cantankerous (I love that word, I hope it is not offensive).
    You did good advising the Inca’s to stop the transfusions…Have a lovely day Professor and thanks for the smiles.

    • 13 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:26

      *laughing* Cantankerous is a great word! Kudos to you for using it well. Here’s the thing: that DT is nice, the green-haired lady isn’t. Are you sure now?

      Didn’t I? I felt proud, the sudden.

      • 14 Heartafire October 21, 2015 at 19:34

        as you should! I think I can take the green-haired lady. Are you sure about DT? He’s rather intimidating, be sure to stand if he should want to converse with you.

      • 15 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:47

        Yes, I’d stand right up. That’s for sure. Now, how about you take the green-haired lady, and I shall take the DT. That sounds good to me.

      • 16 Heartafire October 22, 2015 at 16:02

        I’m onboard with that I will use my wand. You can borrow it if need be I’m so good

      • 17 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:38

        I’d love to borrow your wand!

      • 18 Heartafire October 23, 2015 at 03:10

        it’s yours for the taking!

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 13:16

        Aw! That is very sweet, you know.

      • 20 Heartafire October 23, 2015 at 13:21

        I will share the cherry sucker too, that’s between you and I, I don’t want just anyone coming around.

      • 21 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 13:23

        Now, I feel awesome. Okay, then!

  5. 22 Simply Skeptical October 21, 2015 at 10:53

    Vicious little beast. Perhaps the best guard dog going huh? So glad Ms. Green hair got things under control or else with those teeth…….

    • 23 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:35

      Ms. Green Hair scared this professor to many deaths.

  6. 24 bardictale October 21, 2015 at 08:43

    So the professor doesn’t donate blood?

    • 25 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:35

      I never have! Have you?

      • 26 bardictale October 23, 2015 at 12:20

        Several times. The last time though, they refused to take my blood because I was a decimal point away from regulation.

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 13:21

        Oh really? So, what’s that mean?

      • 28 bardictale October 24, 2015 at 19:18

        What does what mean? Oh, the decimal point? It means my hemoglobin wasn’t high enough for them to feel confident about taking some.

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2015 at 20:25

        Oh, I see. Blood is so complicated, I think.

      • 30 bardictale October 27, 2015 at 18:31

        The whole is. That is what makes it awesome^^

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke October 28, 2015 at 20:21

        Are you a doctor, Bard?

      • 32 bardictale October 31, 2015 at 20:41

        I was an EMT.

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2015 at 13:50

        Really? I can’t begin to tell you how cool that is.

      • 34 bardictale November 3, 2015 at 14:22

        Thanks^^

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2015 at 14:49

        *Bows*

  7. 36 walt walker October 21, 2015 at 01:08

    “Rather well” is still a tad concerning, don’t you think? I mean, seems they would be wrong a percentage of the time. I wonder what percentage.

    • 37 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:34

      Oh yes, I think all the chaps with A blood were fine. They could receive transfusions from A or O blood. O, now, could only receive them from other O’s. Not A’s.

  8. 38 Nancy Loderick October 20, 2015 at 20:50

    HI Professor,

    That was some scary adventure you had there. And to think, you almost were a goner. I’m not sure that’s how you would want to be remembered,
    “conquered by a Chihuahua!” Or maybe it would have been worse to have had a blood transfusion.

    Nancy

    • 39 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:33

      *laughs* I don’t want to be remembered that way at all! Imagine the shame.

  9. 40 L. Marie October 20, 2015 at 20:26

    Wow. Good thing you escaped when you did. But now you’ve made an enemy of Darnell and the Chihuahua. You’ll need to carry weapons from now on. A good habit to get into.

    • 41 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:32

      I think you’re so right. I might borrow your throwing knife, if that’s okay.

  10. 42 Susan P October 20, 2015 at 18:28

    Chihuahua? It is easier to spell it than it is to get the little monsters off your ankles. Or to get them to stop biting my dogs who had been walking on the other side of the street. Those critters are vengeful. It later attacked me when I was in my own yard. I have no use for them.

    • 43 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:32

      *laughs* It was your idea that the chap had one of those. They attacked Teddy? Goodness. You should carry a stick when you walk them. The little beasts.

      • 44 Susan P October 21, 2015 at 12:57

        I did for a long time. Her master thought I was beating her where what I was trying to do was get her off my heels.

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:20

        I’m sure that didn’t go down well. I see you probably have good reason to hate Chias…

      • 46 Susan P October 21, 2015 at 23:55

        Well, in any case I am not a fan of the rattlings.

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:57

        Good name for them, I say.

      • 48 Susan P October 22, 2015 at 17:48

        Curtsy.

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:40

        *bows*

      • 50 Susan P October 24, 2015 at 00:23

        Watch out for that crazy dog.

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2015 at 20:23

        I shall be on guard all night.

      • 52 Susan P October 24, 2015 at 20:41

        Wait! Have you had a rabies inoculation?

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke October 26, 2015 at 20:16

        *laughing* Of course not!

      • 54 Susan P October 27, 2015 at 00:11

        Be careful. Rabies is a serious thing.

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke October 28, 2015 at 20:01

        Not for me, of course.

      • 56 Susan P October 29, 2015 at 00:38

        Has you been shot?

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2015 at 13:45

        Once, but that was before I knew Jesus.

  11. 58 John W. Howell October 20, 2015 at 17:11

    The Incas also did well with heart transplants. From your chest to the god’s pot. Very successful. I had to laugh out loud on the comment about the spelling of the dog (I’m not looking it up either).

    • 59 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:31

      *laughing lots and lots* Brilliant! The Incas did love heart transplants. *will laugh forever about that*

      Yes, just so not worth it.

      • 60 John W. Howell October 21, 2015 at 13:04

        Too bad the gods were the only survivors

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:21

        And that they’re rather mute nowadays.

      • 62 John W. Howell October 22, 2015 at 01:05

        Yes. Good hearts though.

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:58

        I wonder what they did with the bad ones?

      • 64 John W. Howell October 22, 2015 at 15:11

        Fed em to the condors

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:32

        *laughing* I wouldn’t eat one.

      • 66 John W. Howell October 23, 2015 at 13:14

        Heart or Condor?

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 13:22

        The heart…but, of course, neither would I eat a Condor… *dies*

      • 68 John W. Howell October 23, 2015 at 18:17

        You never had a Thanksgiving Condor?

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2015 at 20:17

        I haven’t! What is it? A bird of sorts?

      • 70 John W. Howell October 24, 2015 at 20:22

        a big bird

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2015 at 20:26

        Are they tasty?

      • 72 John W. Howell October 24, 2015 at 20:29

        Never had one. Can’t say.

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke October 26, 2015 at 20:15

        *laughing lots* Wicked of you!

      • 74 John W. Howell October 26, 2015 at 21:40

        It is the old spider web trap.

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke October 28, 2015 at 19:55

        Aha, best we stay away then, I’m thinking.

      • 76 John W. Howell October 28, 2015 at 20:49

        good thinking

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2015 at 13:41

        *nods* I’m wise today.

      • 78 John W. Howell November 3, 2015 at 15:08

        Think other great thoughts today maybe this will be a fleeting thing.

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2015 at 14:51

        *laughs* I’ll think about cherry suckers.

      • 80 John W. Howell November 4, 2015 at 16:51

        Sounds good.

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2015 at 13:58

        *nods*

      • 82 John W. Howell November 5, 2015 at 14:05

        Big ones

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2015 at 21:08

        Humongous ones.

      • 84 John W. Howell November 5, 2015 at 23:24

        Round and huge. About like a baseball.

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke November 6, 2015 at 14:07

        A hard baseball.

      • 86 John W. Howell November 6, 2015 at 17:18

        Well, of course.

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke November 6, 2015 at 22:59

        With nuts or something in the center.

      • 88 John W. Howell November 6, 2015 at 23:54

        Tootsie Roll

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke November 8, 2015 at 21:22

        Ummm. Sounds good.

  12. 90 FictionFan October 20, 2015 at 16:35

    D’you know, the more I look at Mr W, the more I don’t want him to tackle my nose. Why is #75 amazing? Perhaps you should have let them gone ahead – they may have infused you with genetically-altered blood that would have turned you into a superhero! Though of course you already are one – PowerProf! *plans a suitable dinky little superhero oufit*

    • 91 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:30

      Why is he amazing? The best NT in the league! Even though he’s no longer with the Pats, I still like him lots. The Pats are undefeated by the way. *victory dance*

      I’m already a superhero? I wish! If I was a superhero, I’d rob banks. I need a black cape, too.

      • 92 FictionFan October 21, 2015 at 15:41

        Oh, I see – that’s Mr W’s number, is it? Who’s the Pats nose tackle now?

        No!! You can’t rob banks! Rob chocolate factories instead… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHxoihUTS0M

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:29

        Yes, sorry, that is his number! You know, I’m not sure, really. But they’re 5-0, which is great.

        *laughing* Do you like Milk Tray?

      • 94 FictionFan October 21, 2015 at 22:59

        Maybe there’s a vacancy! You could do it… though you might need to stuff a pillow up your shirt.

        Do you really need to ask?

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:54

        *laughs* Me?! I’m way too small for that. Vince Wilfork is over 300lbs! I should’ve been a Patriot. Rats.

        *laughing lots* Just making sure.

  13. 96 Debbie October 20, 2015 at 14:32

    You see? Nothing good comes from stealing somebody’s ID and sneaking into a “meeting”!! Why, that jewel-collared Chihuahua alone is enough to tell you that! Dallas *hates* little nippy doggies.

    Transfusions? Yikes, sounds painful. So does flaming green hair! Your defensive tackle is refrigerator-sized — no wonder you beat up on the poor Colts!

    • 97 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:29

      I’m sure Dallas would not like that dog! Dallas is such a manly creature. Now, but lots of good came from it! Darnell went to prison (with the yappy dog) and I stopped the meeting! *high-fives to me*

      Wasn’t that an awesome game? Pats are undefeated, you know…

  14. 98 PorterGirl October 20, 2015 at 13:40

    The Incas did still die out, though, so maybe you had a good point there, Professor. Nice to see you put up a picture of me smiling at the end – no doubt your readers will be delighted by it!

    • 99 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:27

      That’s true! See? In the end, I was so right, the sudden. *laughing* The dog? That’s not you!

      • 100 PorterGirl October 21, 2015 at 13:32

        You’re always right! Oh, that absolutely is me and I am curious as to how you managed to get a picture of me looking so happy *laughing lots*

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:24

        *laughing* Well, you must’ve had tea. A great day in the studio…and Terry didn’t bring in any mice? I’ve got spy planes, see.

      • 102 PorterGirl October 21, 2015 at 19:36

        *laughing lots* It’s almost as if you are right here, Professor!

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:48

        Always spying! I’m a perfect spy.

      • 104 PorterGirl October 22, 2015 at 14:52

        The greatest secret agent of all time, in fact.

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:30

        James “Professor” Bond, in fact.

      • 106 PorterGirl October 23, 2015 at 10:36

        I love that to many deaths.

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 13:19

        It’s so spicy.

  15. 108 Alastair Savage October 20, 2015 at 13:25

    OK, I’m checking that blood group fact on Wikipedia right now. I’ve just got to know…

    • 109 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:26

      Isn’t it amazing?

  16. 110 desertdweller29 October 20, 2015 at 13:19

    That is one scary looking Chia Pet! (You’re right, Professor. Not worth me having to look up the spelling.) Did Darnell Thomas steal your nametag? Everyone knows the professor gets away with lots of things. I’m sure he was jealous.

    • 111 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 12:25

      Chia! Much better spelling. It’s easy…and only four letters. Lots of good four letter words, you know. Nah, he didn’t, because I wasn’t supposed to be at the meeting. Plus, only I can carry Professor VJ Duke with the right amount of aplomb.


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