The Professor & Yoga

I’ll be quite honest, the sudden: This professor has had trouble separating Yoga and Yoda.

And I’m not sure why.

Unknown

After all, the similarities end at the names. I mean, could you really see Yoda making these sort of moves?

Yoga_1

Is this a guy or girl, do you suppose?

Yeah, me neither. And this brings us to a great fact of life: Yoda is the most un-agile creature ever–unless he’s fighting Count Dooku.

3341631713_a22f20920d

But anyways, in order to stop equating yoga and Yoda, this professor stepped into a a Yoda place the other day. I mean yoga.

2029132756a5a1d5_studio.xxxlarge_0

It was a mistake.

There was a woman in the oddest position ever, stretched out on a mat. But even though she was seemingly tied up in a not, she was up and facing me in less than a second.

In fact, it was so fast, I wasn’t able to respond to her question.

I was still in shock, see.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

She just stood there smiling.

Eventually: “Yes, you see, what’s the principle difference between Yoga and Yoda?”

It was a bad first question, I admit.

She laughed a bit. “Are you looking to get into Yoga?”

Then I got my professorish momentum back. “Oh no,” I said, beginning to walk about  the place.

See, never stand straight without moving. This allows the other person the upper-hand. If you’re constantly moving about, the other person is immediately put on the defense. Since they have to follow you about and speak to you at the same time.

That’s a hard thing to do. Especially for girls.

Sure enough, she started to follow me about. I was also spying while walking. Good time to spy.

“Then…” She seemed confused. “Can I help you?”

“Not at all, you know,” I said. “I just wanted to see if anyone actually did Yoga.”

I looked about the empty room.

“The class is in a few hours.”

“How many guys do it?”

She was perplexed. “A…few?”

“How many professors?”

“What?”

“Good day, madam.”

I was able to keep the attacker off-balance and spy at the same time.

It was a good day.

Conclusion: Both Yoda and Yoga share another similarity; the force is a part of both, and will end up destroying both. 

Advertisements

115 Responses to “The Professor & Yoga”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 November 5, 2015 at 18:07

    I had a hard time differentiating Yoda and yogurt when I was little. It was confrustrating.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2015 at 21:14

      You know, I bet Rosalie had no such problem.

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 November 5, 2015 at 22:28

        I don’t know. I shall ask her.

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke November 6, 2015 at 14:05

        Yes, please.

      • 5 erinkenobi2893 November 6, 2015 at 17:00

        :-P

  2. 6 masgautsen October 22, 2015 at 16:22

    There are too many things to get confused by in the world!

    • 7 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:38

      There are! And we should fetch out the matter, you know. Fix it.

      • 8 masgautsen October 23, 2015 at 04:17

        Maybe we need to be Confused sometimes to appreciate the times that we’re not 😊

      • 9 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 13:17

        Ah! Word of wisdom, you know.

  3. 10 Haylee October 21, 2015 at 20:51

    Hehe, I wish I’d read this before I embarked on my wobbly yoga routine this evening! Especially as I’ve moved on to a new set of moves and it looked like I was giving birth. Not a good sight. I thought yoga was good for you, but what if it turns me green and wrinkly and I begin talking backwards? I’m already small. It should come with a health warning, I say!

    • 11 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:53

      *laughing lots* Well, Haylee, if that happens, you must declare war on the yoga place. That’s what I’d do. Declare war and riot around them. Now, giving birth? Goodness. Yoga must be soooooo painful. *dies just thinking about it*

      • 12 Haylee October 22, 2015 at 16:03

        Thinking about it only ties your mind in knots – instead of your body. I’ve decided yoga is just a fancy way to play Twister and get away with it as an adult!

      • 13 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:38

        *laughs* I love how you think about things. And I’m thinking you’re very right, the sudden.

      • 14 Haylee October 23, 2015 at 05:35

        :D

      • 15 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 13:17

        *bows*

  4. 16 mountainess October 21, 2015 at 19:51

    Hahahaha I would have loved to have seen her face! Although Yoga helps you find inner peace and Yoda says something about knowing the good from the bad when you are calm and at peace. In fact I think there are many similarities so actually you have every justification of being confused by the two, not just because of the name.

    • 17 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:50

      Mountainess! So good to see you here. And don’t I feel spicy now? You’re so right. Of course it makes sense I should maybe equate the two. Brilliant. I love it lots. Are you a Sith or Jedi?

      • 18 mountainess October 25, 2015 at 20:50

        Haha always so lovely to hear from you! I would say I am probably a Jedi, what about the professor himself?

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke October 26, 2015 at 20:22

        Hmm…definitely a Sith, don’t you think?

      • 20 mountainess November 1, 2015 at 14:21

        Perhaps yes, although I’m sad we are on different sides!

      • 21 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2015 at 13:51

        Oh dear…well, can’t you become a Sith?

      • 22 mountainess November 3, 2015 at 15:30

        I’m afraid not Professor, I can’t just become what I do not want to become now can I?

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2015 at 14:52

        Oh rats! So unfair…how about a Sentinel then?

  5. 24 Nimmi October 21, 2015 at 19:10

    Hat’s off to your imagination… Gosh!! How do you think all this??
    However, I like the matching.. Yoga and Yoda… Don’t know about the Yoda but, Yoga is good ;)

    • 25 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:32

      Have you done Yoga, Nimmi? Now, here’s the thing: I think of this all the sudden, you know.

      • 26 Nimmi October 22, 2015 at 17:54

        Hahaha :D Hat’s off to your sudden thinking ;)
        Yes… I’m doin’ yoga since from my school days and I love it! :)

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:40

        Do you tie yourself in nots?

      • 28 Nimmi October 23, 2015 at 13:52

        Ha ha ha 😂 And why you want me to do that 😜

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2015 at 20:09

        *laughs* No, I don’t want that! That’s what yoga is, see. Or that’s what I hear.

      • 30 Nimmi October 24, 2015 at 20:12

        Hahaha :D You are so funny… ;)

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2015 at 20:25

        And filthy.

      • 32 Nimmi October 24, 2015 at 20:36

        No at all ;)

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke October 26, 2015 at 20:15

        *bows*

      • 34 Nimmi October 27, 2015 at 16:22

        :)

  6. 35 John W. Howell October 21, 2015 at 18:07

    Yoga is to Yoda as Yogurt is to yellow. You are right about the force though.

    • 36 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:32

      *laughing* That is a great little sentence right there. Yes, the force is a scary thing.

      • 37 John W. Howell October 22, 2015 at 01:04

        *bows* Thankya, thankya vera much.

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:58

        You’re very welcome! *bows just because*

      • 39 John W. Howell October 22, 2015 at 15:11

        :-)

  7. 40 FictionFan October 21, 2015 at 17:46

    Especially for girls?!!!!! Why, you… I shall tie you in a knot, sir, and let’s see how supple you are then!

    Professors couldn’t do yoga – their wigs would fall off. *nods wisely, holding on to hair just in case*

    • 41 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:32

      Oh, I’d probably break into millions of little pieces. I’m not the most supple monster, see. *laughs*

      It might fall off. But I’ve quite wearing it, see. It’s horribly tickly–just like girl hair, I think.

      • 42 FictionFan October 21, 2015 at 23:03

        That would be fun to watch!

        Are you implying girl hair looks like your wig?! *glares*

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:55

        It would not be fun to watch!!

        Well… *gulps* Maybe just a bit?

      • 44 FictionFan October 22, 2015 at 16:40

        I shall be the judge of that, sir!

        We must get you meeting different girls…

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:39

        And I’ll be…the jury!

        Yes, we must. But keep in mind, I’m heartless.

      • 46 FictionFan October 23, 2015 at 20:13

        Then you’d need to be cloned. Twelve Professors!! *faints* Then you could do your guitar orchestras all at once!

        Hmm… *prepares to deploy secret weapon* So Close…

        Talking of films, I went to see The Martian today…

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2015 at 20:20

        That’d be cool! In this next video which I’ll be uploading soon, there’s five of me on screen at once! *laughs* It’s so ridiculous.

        So close to what?

        What?! You didn’t take me! I’m so…jealous, the sudden. How was it?

      • 48 FictionFan October 25, 2015 at 19:05

        Way more than five!!! *faints* I like number four best…

        The innocent face doesn’t work, sir! I know you’re just a big soppy softie underneath…

        Haven’t you seen it yet? It was… good. Almost very good. But not nearly as good as the book. But then I nearly always prefer books to films. You might like the movie more than me…

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke October 26, 2015 at 20:22

        You like only four of me best? Me too, I’m thinking.

        *laughing* I still don’t know, of course… *holds ears*

        I haven’t! Maybe this Friday. You should’ve taken me with you! I shall hold a grudge.

      • 50 FictionFan October 26, 2015 at 23:52

        No, no, I mean I like the fourth one of you best! He looks like he’s having the most fun!

        Too late! Your secret is out!

        You should – I want to know what you think of it! Matt isn’t nearly as gorgeous as Mark though. I would have loved to have taken you with me – is it my fault your ancestors emigrated half way round the world?! Is it?! Huh?!!!

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke October 28, 2015 at 20:00

        He certainly is! He’s the instigator, see. Plus, he’s got that cool guitar… *dreams*

        You told people, didn’t you?!

        I was thinking they should’ve gotten Chris Pratt to play him. But Matt is okay. *laughs* True…but still! You should’ve…picked me up or something!

      • 52 FictionFan October 28, 2015 at 23:03

        Ah, I see! He’s the wicked one, is he? That explains it! No 1 is the brains of the outift, and no 2 has the organisational skills, I’d say. No. 3 is obviously the sweet one, and no 5 is the cool one…

        I’m thinking of running a special blog post to let everbody know…

        Nah, Chris is too muscly actionman looking – we need a nerdy but gorgeous science geek type. Matt’s too old (and only marginally gorgeous, in truth, even on FF’s fairly generous scale…) *nods* In my orbital spacecraft…

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2015 at 13:44

        *laughing* Wait…did you just call the e. guitar one the cool one? I’ve won you over, FEF!

        You wouldn’t do that to me! Plus, no one would believe you. I’ve got such a legend of meanness backing me up.

        *laughs* You have it all worked out. They should’ve got me to play him! Though I’m not a nerdy science geek.

      • 54 FictionFan November 3, 2015 at 17:21

        Oh no! What have I done?!

        Of course you have, my sweet little apple dumpling!

        Think about those potatoes – would you really have wanted the role?

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2015 at 14:55

        *laughing* There’s no way out of it! *screen shot*

        *gags* I am not an apple dumpling! those things get eaten!

        Hmm…yes!

      • 56 FictionFan November 4, 2015 at 20:25

        Dagnabbit!!

        So do sweetie pumpkin pies…

        *laughs* You would!

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2015 at 14:00

        Swearing will not help you, young lady.

        *laughs* I’m not one of those either!

        I would. It’d be fun!!

  8. 58 Fiza October 21, 2015 at 16:56

    Hahaha I tried yoga…it is all that healthy people say it is. But I my mind is not built for it.

    • 59 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:31

      Was it hard? I imagine it’s somewhat hard.

      • 60 Fiza October 22, 2015 at 01:24

        It was a disquieting experience. I felt like other yogis (people doing yoga) were pro & that I had to get it all right.

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:58

        *shakes head* You should’ve picked on them a bit. The stretching is so unbelievable!

      • 62 Fiza October 22, 2015 at 21:41

        No no its not that…its actually the balancing while stretching. I mean like who are you kidding?!

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:42

        *laughing* The stretching gets me. Ow.

  9. 64 walt walker October 21, 2015 at 16:53

    Those yoga people are practically asking to be spied on, what with those rooms being so bright and open. They have nowhere to put their secrets, you see.

    • 65 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:31

      *laughing* That’s true. And we know they have secrets. Otherwise, why would they do such an odd exercise?

  10. 66 Simply Skeptical October 21, 2015 at 15:59

    I believe that picture is the profile of a very shapely male. Yoda was a yoga master don’t you know.

    • 67 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:30

      He was? I might believe this. And then I might not. A male? Are you sure?

  11. 68 InfiniteZip October 21, 2015 at 15:51

    Yoga is good for you, Yoda puts the good in you…

    • 69 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:30

      It does? How so, Zippy?

      • 70 InfiniteZip October 21, 2015 at 19:35

        He is wise that Yoda fellow, he gives you wisdom and you put it inside of you young Jedi …..

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:48

        But I’m a Sith!

      • 72 InfiniteZip October 22, 2015 at 15:38

        Do you mean Sick? I’m sorry to hear that my friend..you should check your spell check….I thinks it’s broken perhaps?

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:36

        No, no! A rotten, dirty, filthy Sith!

      • 74 InfiniteZip October 23, 2015 at 08:35

        Hmmm…I must Google that one…I thought you meant sick….or sloth…..what pray tell is a Sith?

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 13:18

        A Sith is a good lightsaber wielder. The Jedi are bad, see.

      • 76 InfiniteZip October 23, 2015 at 15:49

        Oh, that’s good to know in case I ever run into one…are they in a club…like bikers?

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2015 at 20:15

        Yes, it’s a sorta club. Would you like to join?

      • 78 InfiniteZip October 24, 2015 at 20:37

        That would be a hoot…do I have to rob a bank or anything sinister?

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke October 26, 2015 at 20:16

        Three banks, in fact.

      • 80 InfiniteZip October 27, 2015 at 08:58

        Three? Why not just one that has lots of gold and dabloon? One would think one is easier than three….and how about an ice cream parlor too, get some good pistachio ice cereal while we’re there?

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke October 28, 2015 at 20:02

        That sounds perfect! It’s on.

  12. 82 desertdweller29 October 21, 2015 at 15:40

    The only reason Yoda was able to kick Dooku butt was because he practiced yoga. Only then will you become the katana, and the Professor, the Master.

    (Great, thanks a lot. I’ll be talking like Yoda now for the entire day. Look what you’ve done, sir. Done it, you have. Pay, you will.)

    • 83 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:28

      But I thought Dooku kicked Yoda’s bahookey! You know he did. Dooku is so cool…you can’t believe it, the sudden!

      (*laughing lots* I’m sorry? Maybe just a bit.)

  13. 84 Lady Dunamis October 21, 2015 at 15:39

    From blood transfusions to yoga? And then you pretend to be a spy? Dude I am dizzy already.

    • 85 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:27

      You must admit it is something. I’m so dastardly. There’s no stopping this train, Lady.

      • 86 Lady Dunamis October 21, 2015 at 20:24

        🚊🚅 slow down cowboy. Sounds like you need an intervention.

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:52

        Yes…maybe…but I’m too powerful for that sort of thing!

      • 88 Lady Dunamis October 22, 2015 at 14:14

        Well delusion and visions of grandeur always make one drunk. I think you have been sippin’ that kool aid a bit too much my friend. 🍹

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:28

        *laughing lots* What kool aid? *throws it out*

  14. 90 Debbie October 21, 2015 at 15:19

    All kinds of benefits from Yoga, Professor (http://www.osteopathic.org/osteopathic-health/about-your-health/health-conditions-library/general-health/Pages/yoga.aspx)

    As for Yoda, well, a 900-year-old creature hardly needs agility and flexibility, does it??!

    I’m super-impressed with your spying tactics and will file them away for future reference. I especially like the idea of walking about and letting the minions follow you!!

    • 91 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:27

      All lies, I tell you! They just want you to Yoga, so that you end up breaking your hips. That’s what it’s all about, see. Who has the strongest hips? It’s actually a secret competition. I would lose.

      That’s a good point. Is he really that old?

      I know! Grand, isn’t it?

  15. 92 Heartafire October 21, 2015 at 14:15

    It is confusing, for example, Yoda is not sexually ambiguous and that helps in so many situations. “never stand straight without moving” brilliant professor. another good plan to avoid intimidation, never sit while being spoken to, it allows the bugger to look down on you.

    • 93 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:25

      Aha! Great point. Never sit. I shall jot this down and keep it quite in mind.

      Yoda…sexually ambiguous…are you sure he’s not?

      • 94 Heartafire October 21, 2015 at 19:36

        I’m not sure he’s not. Do you think he is? Not that it matters, I have many friends who are ambiguous.

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:49

        Maybe he’s purposefully hiding it from us?

      • 96 Heartafire October 22, 2015 at 17:57

        Most likely , is that why he talks funny ?

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:41

        I bet so! Good deducting, Hollie.

  16. 98 PorterGirl October 21, 2015 at 13:27

    Very cunning spying, I say! You pulled it off perfectly. In answer to your question under the picture of the yoga chap(ess) – I have a fool-proof way of telling the difference between ladies and gentlemen, don’t you know. I will find out for you in a wink.

    • 99 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:22

      Yes, please find out. I’m still not sure. You think it’s a chapess? I hope you’re right. Then again, it looks more like a chap. So now I’m hoping you’re wrong.

      • 100 PorterGirl October 21, 2015 at 19:33

        My instincts tell me that it is a chap – as it looks just like one – but until one does the test, one just cannot be certain!

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:46

        Yes, yes. We must do the test. Or, just forget about it. After all, who really cares?

      • 102 PorterGirl October 22, 2015 at 14:51

        It makes no odds to me. Man or lady, that is an uncomfortable looking position to be in *laughs*

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:30

        *nods* That very sensible. Who would want to be in such a position? Maybe a frog.

      • 104 PorterGirl October 23, 2015 at 10:35

        Yes, they have the legs for it.

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 13:18

        They do. But even they might get them broken.

      • 106 PorterGirl October 23, 2015 at 15:00

        Or tied in a knot.

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2015 at 20:12

        A frog all knotted up. That’s cool.

  17. 108 Alastair Savage October 21, 2015 at 13:13

    Ah yes, Yoda and Yoga: “Floors do not make one great” I believe he once said.

    • 109 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:22

      *laughs* Yes! That is something he might say. I wonder if Yoda did Yoga?

  18. 110 Susan P October 21, 2015 at 13:07

    Golly…that poor woman. I’m sure that Mr. Darcy would have swept her off her feet.

    • 111 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:21

      Swept her off her feet? Bet not! Bet she would’ve stretched all around, avoiding him. Unless she liked him, which I doubt. Did you know Darby was bald?

      • 112 Susan P October 21, 2015 at 23:57

        Why should I know that?

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:57

        I try to tell all the girls that.

      • 114 Susan P October 22, 2015 at 17:49

        It’s in the genes.

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:40

        I hate jeans.


Say something...anything...O Punchy Family!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




TPL Schedule

Sunday: OFF — Day of Shalt Nots

Monday: TPL Story

Tuesday: OFF — Because I'm Gone

Wednesday: Professor Speaks

Thursday: OFF — Because Yes

Friday: OFF — All Day Sleep Does

Saturday: OFF — Blue-Footed Boobies Need Fed

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email!

Join 1,875 other followers

Follow The Punchy Lands! on WordPress.com

Blog Stats

  • 114,829 hits

Join the Professor on Twitter!

Professorish Smiley:

==[:-{)=

or

==[:-{)+

Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


%d bloggers like this: