The Professor & Yoga

I’ll be quite honest, the sudden: This professor has had trouble separating Yoga and Yoda.

And I’m not sure why.


After all, the similarities end at the names. I mean, could you really see Yoda making these sort of moves?


Is this a guy or girl, do you suppose?

Yeah, me neither. And this brings us to a great fact of life: Yoda is the most un-agile creature ever–unless he’s fighting Count Dooku.


But anyways, in order to stop equating yoga and Yoda, this professor stepped into a a Yoda place the other day. I mean yoga.


It was a mistake.

There was a woman in the oddest position ever, stretched out on a mat. But even though she was seemingly tied up in a not, she was up and facing me in less than a second.

In fact, it was so fast, I wasn’t able to respond to her question.

I was still in shock, see.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

She just stood there smiling.

Eventually: “Yes, you see, what’s the principle difference between Yoga and Yoda?”

It was a bad first question, I admit.

She laughed a bit. “Are you looking to get into Yoga?”

Then I got my professorish momentum back. “Oh no,” I said, beginning to walk about  the place.

See, never stand straight without moving. This allows the other person the upper-hand. If you’re constantly moving about, the other person is immediately put on the defense. Since they have to follow you about and speak to you at the same time.

That’s a hard thing to do. Especially for girls.

Sure enough, she started to follow me about. I was also spying while walking. Good time to spy.

“Then…” She seemed confused. “Can I help you?”

“Not at all, you know,” I said. “I just wanted to see if anyone actually did Yoga.”

I looked about the empty room.

“The class is in a few hours.”

“How many guys do it?”

She was perplexed. “A…few?”

“How many professors?”


“Good day, madam.”

I was able to keep the attacker off-balance and spy at the same time.

It was a good day.

Conclusion: Both Yoda and Yoga share another similarity; the force is a part of both, and will end up destroying both. 

115 Responses to “The Professor & Yoga”

  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 November 5, 2015 at 18:07

    I had a hard time differentiating Yoda and yogurt when I was little. It was confrustrating.

  2. 6 masgautsen October 22, 2015 at 16:22

    There are too many things to get confused by in the world!

  3. 10 Haylee October 21, 2015 at 20:51

    Hehe, I wish I’d read this before I embarked on my wobbly yoga routine this evening! Especially as I’ve moved on to a new set of moves and it looked like I was giving birth. Not a good sight. I thought yoga was good for you, but what if it turns me green and wrinkly and I begin talking backwards? I’m already small. It should come with a health warning, I say!

  4. 16 mountainess October 21, 2015 at 19:51

    Hahahaha I would have loved to have seen her face! Although Yoga helps you find inner peace and Yoda says something about knowing the good from the bad when you are calm and at peace. In fact I think there are many similarities so actually you have every justification of being confused by the two, not just because of the name.

  5. 24 Nimmi October 21, 2015 at 19:10

    Hat’s off to your imagination… Gosh!! How do you think all this??
    However, I like the matching.. Yoga and Yoda… Don’t know about the Yoda but, Yoga is good ;)

  6. 35 John W. Howell October 21, 2015 at 18:07

    Yoga is to Yoda as Yogurt is to yellow. You are right about the force though.

  7. 40 FictionFan October 21, 2015 at 17:46

    Especially for girls?!!!!! Why, you… I shall tie you in a knot, sir, and let’s see how supple you are then!

    Professors couldn’t do yoga – their wigs would fall off. *nods wisely, holding on to hair just in case*

    • 41 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:32

      Oh, I’d probably break into millions of little pieces. I’m not the most supple monster, see. *laughs*

      It might fall off. But I’ve quite wearing it, see. It’s horribly tickly–just like girl hair, I think.

      • 42 FictionFan October 21, 2015 at 23:03

        That would be fun to watch!

        Are you implying girl hair looks like your wig?! *glares*

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2015 at 13:55

        It would not be fun to watch!!

        Well… *gulps* Maybe just a bit?

      • 44 FictionFan October 22, 2015 at 16:40

        I shall be the judge of that, sir!

        We must get you meeting different girls…

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2015 at 02:39

        And I’ll be…the jury!

        Yes, we must. But keep in mind, I’m heartless.

      • 46 FictionFan October 23, 2015 at 20:13

        Then you’d need to be cloned. Twelve Professors!! *faints* Then you could do your guitar orchestras all at once!

        Hmm… *prepares to deploy secret weapon* So Close…

        Talking of films, I went to see The Martian today…

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2015 at 20:20

        That’d be cool! In this next video which I’ll be uploading soon, there’s five of me on screen at once! *laughs* It’s so ridiculous.

        So close to what?

        What?! You didn’t take me! I’m so…jealous, the sudden. How was it?

      • 48 FictionFan October 25, 2015 at 19:05

        Way more than five!!! *faints* I like number four best…

        The innocent face doesn’t work, sir! I know you’re just a big soppy softie underneath…

        Haven’t you seen it yet? It was… good. Almost very good. But not nearly as good as the book. But then I nearly always prefer books to films. You might like the movie more than me…

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke October 26, 2015 at 20:22

        You like only four of me best? Me too, I’m thinking.

        *laughing* I still don’t know, of course… *holds ears*

        I haven’t! Maybe this Friday. You should’ve taken me with you! I shall hold a grudge.

      • 50 FictionFan October 26, 2015 at 23:52

        No, no, I mean I like the fourth one of you best! He looks like he’s having the most fun!

        Too late! Your secret is out!

        You should – I want to know what you think of it! Matt isn’t nearly as gorgeous as Mark though. I would have loved to have taken you with me – is it my fault your ancestors emigrated half way round the world?! Is it?! Huh?!!!

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke October 28, 2015 at 20:00

        He certainly is! He’s the instigator, see. Plus, he’s got that cool guitar… *dreams*

        You told people, didn’t you?!

        I was thinking they should’ve gotten Chris Pratt to play him. But Matt is okay. *laughs* True…but still! You should’ve…picked me up or something!

      • 52 FictionFan October 28, 2015 at 23:03

        Ah, I see! He’s the wicked one, is he? That explains it! No 1 is the brains of the outift, and no 2 has the organisational skills, I’d say. No. 3 is obviously the sweet one, and no 5 is the cool one…

        I’m thinking of running a special blog post to let everbody know…

        Nah, Chris is too muscly actionman looking – we need a nerdy but gorgeous science geek type. Matt’s too old (and only marginally gorgeous, in truth, even on FF’s fairly generous scale…) *nods* In my orbital spacecraft…

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2015 at 13:44

        *laughing* Wait…did you just call the e. guitar one the cool one? I’ve won you over, FEF!

        You wouldn’t do that to me! Plus, no one would believe you. I’ve got such a legend of meanness backing me up.

        *laughs* You have it all worked out. They should’ve got me to play him! Though I’m not a nerdy science geek.

      • 54 FictionFan November 3, 2015 at 17:21

        Oh no! What have I done?!

        Of course you have, my sweet little apple dumpling!

        Think about those potatoes – would you really have wanted the role?

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2015 at 14:55

        *laughing* There’s no way out of it! *screen shot*

        *gags* I am not an apple dumpling! those things get eaten!


      • 56 FictionFan November 4, 2015 at 20:25


        So do sweetie pumpkin pies…

        *laughs* You would!

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2015 at 14:00

        Swearing will not help you, young lady.

        *laughs* I’m not one of those either!

        I would. It’d be fun!!

  8. 58 Fiza October 21, 2015 at 16:56

    Hahaha I tried yoga…it is all that healthy people say it is. But I my mind is not built for it.

  9. 64 walt walker October 21, 2015 at 16:53

    Those yoga people are practically asking to be spied on, what with those rooms being so bright and open. They have nowhere to put their secrets, you see.

  10. 66 Simply Skeptical October 21, 2015 at 15:59

    I believe that picture is the profile of a very shapely male. Yoda was a yoga master don’t you know.

  11. 68 InfiniteZip October 21, 2015 at 15:51

    Yoga is good for you, Yoda puts the good in you…

  12. 82 desertdweller29 October 21, 2015 at 15:40

    The only reason Yoda was able to kick Dooku butt was because he practiced yoga. Only then will you become the katana, and the Professor, the Master.

    (Great, thanks a lot. I’ll be talking like Yoda now for the entire day. Look what you’ve done, sir. Done it, you have. Pay, you will.)

  13. 84 Lady Dunamis October 21, 2015 at 15:39

    From blood transfusions to yoga? And then you pretend to be a spy? Dude I am dizzy already.

  14. 90 Debbie October 21, 2015 at 15:19

    All kinds of benefits from Yoga, Professor (

    As for Yoda, well, a 900-year-old creature hardly needs agility and flexibility, does it??!

    I’m super-impressed with your spying tactics and will file them away for future reference. I especially like the idea of walking about and letting the minions follow you!!

    • 91 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2015 at 19:27

      All lies, I tell you! They just want you to Yoga, so that you end up breaking your hips. That’s what it’s all about, see. Who has the strongest hips? It’s actually a secret competition. I would lose.

      That’s a good point. Is he really that old?

      I know! Grand, isn’t it?

  15. 92 Heartafire October 21, 2015 at 14:15

    It is confusing, for example, Yoda is not sexually ambiguous and that helps in so many situations. “never stand straight without moving” brilliant professor. another good plan to avoid intimidation, never sit while being spoken to, it allows the bugger to look down on you.

  16. 98 PorterGirl October 21, 2015 at 13:27

    Very cunning spying, I say! You pulled it off perfectly. In answer to your question under the picture of the yoga chap(ess) – I have a fool-proof way of telling the difference between ladies and gentlemen, don’t you know. I will find out for you in a wink.

  17. 108 Alastair Savage October 21, 2015 at 13:13

    Ah yes, Yoda and Yoga: “Floors do not make one great” I believe he once said.

  18. 110 Susan P October 21, 2015 at 13:07

    Golly…that poor woman. I’m sure that Mr. Darcy would have swept her off her feet.

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