In Which The Professor Answers Questions

professor speaksSo, taking a break from the TPL Story, The Jeweled Katana, I must answer a few questions.

My good friend Cora, over at her blog (which you can check out here), posted some interesting questions.

This professor decided to answer them, since I’m such an enigma and all.

Let it begin!

*insert war-cry*

1. What time did you get up this morning?

Okay, so here’s the thing: the professor hates getting up early. Just because. Just because it’s usually dark in the morning, see. I’m of the opinion we shouldn’t rise until the sun rises. There. I didn’t answer the first question. Off to a magnificent start.

2. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

This is a great question. The professor would definitely be around 188. Or maybe 88. 

3. Where did your last kiss take place and with whom?

This is the sort of question which just shouldn’t be asked, see. But we all know (or should know) that the professor is quite heartless and unromantic. So, last kiss…maybe a guitar.

4. If you could hire any actor to portray you in a movie, who would you choose?

Definitely Brock Lesnar. He’s not an actor, though, is he? 


Maybe Julian Edelman!
New England Patriots football player Julian Edelman applauds while sitting courtside in the first half of an NBA basketball game between the Boston Celtics and the Houston Rockets in Boston, Monday, Jan. 13, 2014. (AP Photo/Elise Amendola)

Or maybe this chap.

Screen Shot 2015-10-20 at 11.41.26 AM

5. Can you go the whole day without caffeine?

Yes! The professor is proud about it. And I usually do, I must admit.

6. Do you know what your name means?

Oh goodness me. I have no idea. Maybe strong warrior? Beetle? We must hope for either of the last two.

7. Does your name have a meme?

How backwards am I if I admit…I’m not sure what a meme is?

8. What’s the drink you always order at Starbucks?

So, this professor has been to Starbucks twice this year, I think. I always get black tea. Just because. Black beetles like black tea.

9. Are you good at chess?

I actually was in a chess club, once upon a moon. But I haven’t played in a while. I’m getting worse and worse at it. In fact, I don’t even recognize it as a game, it’s so mean to me.

10. Pineapple reminds you of…

Yoda. Simple.


11. What do you eat for breakfast?

It changes, see. I go through patterns. Lately, it’s been oatmeal and an orange.

12. Do you have freckles? 

You know…I don’t think so. 

13. Coffee Drinker?

Not at all, my loves.

PL Symbol

95 Responses to “In Which The Professor Answers Questions”

  1. 1 sweetaces December 2, 2015 at 13:18

    You are hilarious as always Professor. You couldn’t quite be the gentleman and answer questions straightforward. .you have to had a lil spunk to it. I shall call you PVJ the Evader. Suits you well yes? But I believe it made my day. I was wondering why my imaginary cat was jumpy…beetles you say? Plus…Edward Cullen wouldn’t appreciate you been all 188… Besides. ..of all the instrument while kiss a guitar. ..I would have pegged you for a non-kisser lol…oh why wasn’t I suprised.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke December 2, 2015 at 20:33

      You weren’t surprised, of course, because this professor is quite heartless. How can a heartless professor kiss? See, it’s an impossibility.

      What? Now, you must know I’m an open book! I answer questions right up.

      Who is Edward Cullen?

      • 3 sweetaces December 2, 2015 at 22:33

        Hahahahaha. I can’t believe you just asked me who Edward Cullen is. Surely all vampires know who Edward Cullen is…you are a 188 by the way…. yes indeed I do remember the professor is heartless and kissing is a thing alien to him. Lols not twist your answers in a way

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke December 3, 2015 at 14:47

        But I’m not a vampire! Aha, so EC is a vampire. We must kill him, then. I’ve got a long life. Like a Ranger, for instance.

        Oh I’m very honest and you know it!

      • 5 sweetaces December 3, 2015 at 15:41

        Yes he is. And he is British. ..or looks like one. He would make a good pick to play you don’t you agree? Pfft!! Rangers don’t live over grandma told me. Her first lover was a ranger. By 57 he was deep 6ft. Lol we mustn’t. .He is immortal you know. And bella would be mad. Oh pullezz. .!! You are terrible. Lol

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke December 4, 2015 at 19:51

        Depends. Does he have brown hair? And who is Bella? We could always throw her off a cliff, you know, you know. Your Grandma sounds very smart. But I’m the oldest ranger ever. Tis true!

      • 7 sweetaces December 5, 2015 at 08:49

        Well…Thinking of it…no. lol bella is a human turned vampire during childbirth. What century are you in again? ?? Haha she was. God bless her soul…oh dear…now how come you don’t wear glasses n have a slouchy back n toothy grin…don’t forget feeble knees

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke December 10, 2015 at 14:22

        Wait…is she from that Twilight series? I think I know what you mean, the sudden! Well, I might not be old, then.

      • 9 sweetaces December 10, 2015 at 16:52

        Oh finally. Phew!!! Yes that’s what I have been saying…you are not that old.

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke December 11, 2015 at 03:15

        How old am I, then, madam?

      • 11 sweetaces December 11, 2015 at 07:16

        Er…36 ? Hehe

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke December 13, 2015 at 20:04

        Nah, 21. But still, that’s old.

      • 13 sweetaces December 13, 2015 at 20:38

        Kidding right?

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2015 at 19:51

        Nah, why? People always think I’m in my 30’s. Even if they know me personally! Dadblameit.

      • 15 sweetaces December 15, 2015 at 21:35

        I won’t have guessed. Nice

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke December 17, 2015 at 15:24

        Really? I’m so old, see.

      • 17 sweetaces December 17, 2015 at 16:52

        Lol….awwwn not at all

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke December 18, 2015 at 15:14

        Oh yes! I’m creaky everywhere.

      • 19 sweetaces December 18, 2015 at 22:35

        That would make a lot of sound

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke December 21, 2015 at 14:13

        That’s why I have an oil can, see.

      • 21 sweetaces December 21, 2015 at 23:29

        Lol genius

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke December 22, 2015 at 15:40

        About 10% of the time, tho.

      • 23 sweetaces December 22, 2015 at 15:57

        Still…it could be worse you see..

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke December 23, 2015 at 16:25

        How so, tho?

      • 25 sweetaces December 23, 2015 at 16:44

        It’s beta to have a few squeaks than to be all feeble and weak knees

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke December 26, 2015 at 16:43

        Very true. Then one can’t run very well.

  2. 27 Lady Dunamis November 19, 2015 at 20:49

    I think Oprah or Dr. Phill can crack your Davinci code way of doing interviews.

    • 28 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2015 at 14:46

      Don’t you think I’d still fetch them out?

      • 29 Lady Dunamis November 20, 2015 at 15:49

        I doubt it. I think you would squirm, probably fake foaming at the mouth just to avoid answering any questions. 😛

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2015 at 19:00

        That’s if they could trap me, see. I’d start asking the questions.

  3. 31 Apricots and Cream November 19, 2015 at 07:29

    Hahaha aaw thanks for answering my weird random question survey thingy :D

    • 32 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2015 at 14:36

      It was awesome! Thanks for asking them. Cool questions, you must admit. Even though there wasn’t a question about cacti…

  4. 33 Sonya Solomonovich November 19, 2015 at 01:33

    It’s beetlemania! But I am curious why is the professor so unromantic and heartless? Is it because you are very old – I think 188 is old in beetle years? Or did someone break your heart and then you hurt them back by slicing them with a katana? (sounds like the plot from Kill Bill)

    • 34 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2015 at 14:36

      *laughs* That’s a great question. I think–when I was on the shores of Troy, fighting alongside Hector, who was a romantic–I lost my heart. See, Hector died and you should’ve seen how it affected his wife! The professor is just quite heartless. Though, no one believes me, see.

      • 35 Sonya Solomonovich November 21, 2015 at 03:16

        I’ve read about Hector, and it is a tragic tale, enough to make anyone heartless. I never knew the professor fought on the shores of Troy. Have you ever crossed swords with the mighty Achilles?

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2015 at 19:08

        You know, I actually was fighting the beast when Paris shot him in the ankle. I was winning, of course, you know.

      • 37 Sonya Solomonovich November 24, 2015 at 00:47

        That’s impressive, professor! You should be able to take care of Prince Beef’s security force without breaking a sweat.

  5. 38 Nancy Loderick November 18, 2015 at 21:32

    Well Professor,

    Even after reading your answers, you remain as mysterious as ever. :)


    • 39 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2015 at 21:48

      Really? You now know I’m a beetle. That’s getting somewhere, you must admit.

  6. 40 Simply Skeptical November 18, 2015 at 19:44

    Now I believe I know you better than I ever thought I did. Thanks to Cora for those soul searching questions and to the Professor for those extremely telling answers….

    • 41 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2015 at 21:47

      You’re welcome! I fear I’ve become an open book, the sudden.

  7. 42 John W. Howell November 18, 2015 at 17:53

    Love these. I like that chap you pointed out.

    • 43 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2015 at 21:47

      I think he’s some sort of secret agent. But I bet a rabbit would fetch him.

      • 44 John W. Howell November 19, 2015 at 13:51

        He looks like he has secrets.

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2015 at 14:39

        Dark secrets, too. Probably about dragons.

      • 46 John W. Howell November 20, 2015 at 20:41

        Or from where the next cashew is coming.

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2015 at 19:06

        That’s a nice secret. I wish I knew more about that sort of thing.

      • 48 John W. Howell November 22, 2015 at 19:10

        Me too. I love cashews

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke November 23, 2015 at 16:28

        They are so spicy. *sighs*

      • 50 John W. Howell November 23, 2015 at 16:36

        And full of fat.*double sigh*

  8. 51 FictionFan November 18, 2015 at 16:42

    88!! You lied about your age – you told me you were only 85!!! Imagine lying about it – we 21-year-olds would never think of doing such a thing!

    So glad to hear you have porridge in the mornings – we just need to get you a kilt and a sporran now…

    Personally, I think Colin Firth’s the chap we need – the chap in the third picture would be good, but I hear he’s up for the next Bond movie.

    • 52 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2015 at 21:44

      Wasn’t that three years ago I told you that? *laughs* I do wonder why you picked 21. I mean, there are better ages, you know.

      I do! Can you believe this? After hating it all these years, I’ve finally taken it up. It’s rather tasty.

      He’s up for the Bond movie? *beams* That’s cool. Does he get to have a gun, too?

      • 53 FictionFan November 19, 2015 at 16:26

        Nah, you used to be 84. So you’ve aged 104 years since then – I told you to use anti-wrinkle cream! No, there aren’t! It’s downhill all the way from there…

        Hate the stuff personally!

        *laughs* He can have all the guns he wants so long as he stays far away from me and mine…

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2015 at 14:42

        188 is a grand age. You should try it. You turn out to be so wise and wicked. It’s quite awesome.

        Yeah, it can get beastly, for sure. But it’s healthy, see.

        He’s shall definitely stay away, I’m sure. The brutal beast will be armed to the teeth.

  9. 55 Haylee November 18, 2015 at 16:32

    Ooh how exiting, you allowing a peek behind the mask. Although, some of the questions are delightfully obscure, a very good job done for preserving the enigma.

    Do you feel judged ordering tea in Starbucks? I always do, that’s why I generally opt for cake!

    As for memes, I imagine yours would include rodents and cows – I think it could take off quite well. If it’s any consolation, I don’t know who Julian Edelman is, so swings and roundabouts. :)

    • 56 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2015 at 21:43

      I’m always brutally honest, don’t you think so, Haylee? Of course, some questions are hard to answer. Like the kissing one, see.

      They sell cake at Starbucks? No, you know, I’ve never thought on it. But they always do look at me weird, now that you say it. Hmm…

      Rodents and cows. Why cows? Cows and I war all the time, don’t you know. You don’t know Julian?! *amazed*

      • 57 Haylee November 18, 2015 at 22:14

        Ah, but there is a fine art to telling truths without revealing the real details. So technically, I’m sure you’re completely honest ;)
        Memes seem to be all about catchphrases, so yours would naturally have to be Rats and a…cow who is yet to give birth. No, that seems too long…
        Anyway, I googled Mr.Julian and I’m afraid he’s the wrong sport. I’m very British, it’s all rugger and cricket don’t you know?!

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2015 at 14:33

        Yes, that’s the spirit. The professor is as honest as an open book. This, in truth, is true.

        *laughing* But I sorta like that catchphrase. See, the cow giving birth indicates pain, and rats are filthy. That’s me,see. Perfect one, Haylee!

        But…but…you should like American football, the sudden!

      • 59 Haylee November 20, 2015 at 19:08

        I feel I may have to make you a meme. I may do this for recompense for the sword. Perhaps…
        I don’t ‘get’ American Football, sorry. I like all the charging and barging just not the swapping and stopping and padding. I very much enjoy the Super Bowl adverts though, will that do?

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2015 at 19:04

        Well, that sounds like a fair trade to me, provided the meme is…rather righteous, see.

        *laughing* The adverts? Goodness no, you must be a Pats fan, the sudden!

  10. 61 Debbie November 18, 2015 at 16:30

    Professor, I’m totally with you on the caffeine — none of that junk for me, either! Black tea rocks!! (So do oranges, but definitely NOT oatmeal. Yuck, that’s like eating glue!!)

    Cora’s questions were great, and you did a great job evading them. I think the suited chap with the shades on should play you in a movie — very debonair with a touch of warrior!

    Kiss and tell?? Never!! You were raised right, sir!!

    • 62 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2015 at 21:42

      You don’t like oatmeal? I didn’t either until…I started microwaving it. You should try it!

      Debonair and a warrior! I like that. Just like a beetle, mind you.

      *laughs* Aha! So you never told…

  11. 63 Susan P November 18, 2015 at 14:31

    Harumph. I thought I saw you whiling the afternoon in Star Bucks. Or maybe the time we met Mulder for lunch.
    Buck s

    • 64 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2015 at 21:41

      Mulder! I remember him. Isn’t he an agent?

      • 65 Susan P November 18, 2015 at 22:35


      • 66 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2015 at 14:34

        Goodness. I’ll have to watch out for him.

      • 67 Susan P November 29, 2015 at 18:17

        You should indeed. Especially when he has his other face out.

      • 68 Susan P November 29, 2015 at 18:19

        Well, you don’t HAVE to you know.

  12. 69 PorterGirl November 18, 2015 at 14:19

    So very searching and revealing questions! Your friend Cora did a great job. If a chap needs to play you in a movie… I think you should ask the chap without the beard. I kiss my guitars every night. It keeps them sounding sweet.

    • 70 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2015 at 21:41

      Kiss them every night! Don’t give them too much love, or they might rebel. Guitars rebel from time to time, you know.

      Without the beard…now why him?

      • 71 PorterGirl November 19, 2015 at 09:44

        One of them does – it breaks it own strings, the beast.
        That chap looks rather spicy, wouldn’t you say?

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2015 at 14:39

        It is definitely rebelling, the bugger.

        He looks like he’s thinking about something horrid, I think.

      • 73 PorterGirl November 20, 2015 at 15:36

        I feel I should rebel too, you know.
        Something wicked, I should say!

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2015 at 18:59

        Rebeling is such a fun pastime. It’s so…righteous!

      • 75 PorterGirl November 22, 2015 at 19:45

        You are right. It is good for mind, body and soul, I say.

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke November 23, 2015 at 16:29

        And the legs. Since it makes one run, I think.

      • 77 PorterGirl November 23, 2015 at 16:39

        The legs are most important, I say.

  13. 78 Heartafire November 18, 2015 at 14:16

    A wonderful interview, I enjoyed learning more about the professor. Black tea, yes, I would have guessed that and no coffee, that too. If…when they make a movie about the Professor, seek out #3. He seems perfect. Have a lovely day.

    • 79 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2015 at 21:40

      Did you learn some more of my wicked exploits? I should’ve told some. No coffee? Wow. I’m impressed. How did thou know?

      Now, why do you pick that chap, Hollie?

      • 80 Heartafire November 18, 2015 at 21:43

        I can tell you are not the coffee type, more tea, and #3, I imagine you have that same outfit in your wardrobe, tres chic.

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2015 at 21:49

        *laughs* What if I admitted I have that exact same outfit?

      • 82 Heartafire November 18, 2015 at 22:11

        I already knew, haha.

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2015 at 14:32

        But it could be a lie that I’m telling.

      • 84 Heartafire November 20, 2015 at 14:45

        Me too. Of course lying on the Internet is unheard of. ;)

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2015 at 14:48

        *laughs* Especially by the professor.

  14. 86 L. Marie November 18, 2015 at 14:09

    Great answers! Ooo! Pick Julian Edelman! He’s out for a couple of months while he recovers, so he’s got time. As long as he doesn’t have to run or anything.
    I’m shocked that you didn’t mention your katana once as you answered the questions. For example, “I often wield my katana when I enter Starbucks.”

    • 87 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2015 at 21:39

      Aha! You know about Julian Edelman! Nice. Isn’t he awesome? Great ball player, too. That’s me, if I was a football player.

      *laughs* That’s true! But see, I usually hide my katana when in Starbucks. I think people might freak, see.

  15. 88 walt walker November 18, 2015 at 14:07

    You’ve become quite the bold one, good sir.

    • 89 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2015 at 21:38

      Don’t you like how I answered those questions so honestly?

    • 90 walt walker November 19, 2015 at 01:15

      I think you were lying in one of them.

      • 91 walt walker November 19, 2015 at 01:16

        Gads. That comment went astray.

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2015 at 14:35

        It wasn’t my fault!

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2015 at 14:35

        Probably 2, at least.

  16. 94 desertdweller29 November 18, 2015 at 13:50

    And this is why the professor rocks. And not just cuz he’s an 188-year-old beetle that likes living under rocks and stealing katanas.

    I wonder what it’s like to kiss a guitar? I only have my daughter’s pink one with Hello Kitty (thanks Santa) and I don’t much like it, see. I’m sorta waiting for all the strings to break, but only because I don’t see her become professorishly awesome with it. She’d rather smash it, which means she’ll go the rock-n-roll route.

    Good day, sir! Enjoy your black tea this morning.

    • 95 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2015 at 21:38

      *laughs* Wow. When you put it like that, it is something. I mean, who would expect an ancient beetle to steal things? Nice.

      A pink one! Goodness. You should’ve got it red, I say. Well, I’ll send you new strings so you can fix it up if the strings do pop. I bet she makes lovely noises on it.

      Thank you, DD! You have an awesome day as well.

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Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


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