Scabbard and Blade, Separated

“Make the most of time.” That’s what they say. I just want to know how to make it. 

V. Shnodgrate, Renowned PL Poet

UntitledSo, I felt bad.

I must admit this straight out.

And admit it strongly.

Nice.

With that out of the way, I no longer feel as bad, see.

The Jeweled Katana was in my possession. I thieved it to stop the others from thieving with it. An act of goodwill.

The Jeweled Katana is a decorative weapon, see. It can’t really be used for chopping wood, or running someone through.

It’s meant to sit there. And look pretty. Like most toads, in fact.

cane_toad

Charley.

The blade was some sort of really cool looking metal. There were gems all over the hilt and scabbard. You name it, the gem was there. No rubies, though. In fact, no diamonds either. Just emeralds and sapphires.

My earlier statement was not a lie. [Earlier statement: You name it, the gem was there.]

Anyways, the scabbard had some velcro on it. I tore that off, just because.

What to do with it? It wasn’t mine to keep.

This professor was in his office. I’d driven home rather fastly fast. It probably wasn’t safe at home. After all, Prince Beef and Fats Henry knew I took it.

Someone was bound to show up here sometime.

This professor waited in his office, having thinks, until I heard the sirens.

dadblameit

I had to get out.

Now, it was late at night. The analysts would not be happy.

So, this professor slipped out the back door.

I was going to go to England, see. Maybe give it to King Arthur for safekeeping.

It was better than no plan. No judging of this professor!

Now, the thing is, on my way to the airport, I passed the Tea Shop. This professor was walking, ’cause I wouldn’t be able to be tracked that way, see.

tea-shop_02-2

Tea Shop.

And that’s when I ran into Clara Higgins, who was just locking up the Tea Store. She must’ve been cleaning the floors to be there that late, I suppose.

We both just stopped and stared at each other.

“You…” she breathed, then her eyes fell upon the Jeweled Katana.

I was just holding it out, see.

This professor tried to cover it up, but it was too late.

“Wow…”

She was amazed.

“Isn’t it something? I dig it.” And I nodded.

She reached out to touch the hilt, then…it happened.

Lights lit us up and a voice said:

“Halt and surrender the sword!”

Both Clara and I pulled back: she got the scabbard, I got the sword.

Prince Beef’s security (or troops) were moving in.

We bolted, in different directions, too.

Oh dear me.

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44 Responses to “Scabbard and Blade, Separated”


  1. 1 L. Marie November 23, 2015 at 16:40

    I’m glad you managed to hang on to the sword despite these attempts to take it from you. And I include Clara in that, since she seemed to be in a thieving mind herself. She reminds me of someone David Tennant’s Doctor ran into; someone who acts like she likes you, then robs you blind.

  2. 2 Susan P November 23, 2015 at 14:11

    You did WHAT?That sort of larks can send you to the Hoosegow. You should make your like hut looked like no one lives there and cover your backside.

    • 3 Professor VJ Duke November 23, 2015 at 16:31

      But I didn’t do that! You really can’t blame me, after all. Can you?

      • 4 Susan P November 23, 2015 at 17:05

        Watch and listen.

  3. 5 PorterGirl November 22, 2015 at 13:01

    Charley the toad is simply lovely! A prettier thing I never did see, you know. Except maybe the jeweled katana. No… the toad. Quick, Professor – hurry to England where tea shop ladies are friendly and stolen things can be hidden with ease!

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2015 at 19:10

      The toad over the katana? *biggest shocked face ever* Why, I’m shocked to the core. He’s an ugly little brute and you know it!

      I shall do it. Maybe pawn it to King Arthur or something. I don’t know. I must get the scabbard back!

      • 7 PorterGirl November 22, 2015 at 19:46

        Poor toad! I think he has a nice face. He reminds me of myself, in fact.
        Adventure is afoot! Marvellous.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke November 23, 2015 at 16:30

        *laughs* Yourself? He does seem to be content. I think he looks as if he just conquered something grand.

      • 9 PorterGirl November 23, 2015 at 16:43

        I am often conquering something grand, which is what put me in mind of myself.

  4. 10 Simply Skeptical November 21, 2015 at 17:52

    Professor you’ve got to get the scabbard from Ms. Higgins. But you ran in different directions. This is a mess BIG mess indeed! Now what?

    • 11 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2015 at 19:09

      I’m not sure! You must help me get it back!

      • 12 Simply Skeptical November 23, 2015 at 23:52

        There’s only one thing to do turn around and run the other way, her way.

  5. 13 walt walker November 21, 2015 at 04:04

    It’s interesting that he’s only got six fingers. That’s probably all one needs, you know.

    • 14 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2015 at 19:09

      That’s it. Imagine how much dadblamery you could get up to with one extra finger!

  6. 15 walt walker November 21, 2015 at 04:03

    Glad to see that Charley. Now there’s a stout looking fellow. Wouldn’t want to cross him.

    Does he want to go on one of those shows, though? You know. Biggest Loser, or some such?

    • 16 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2015 at 19:09

      He might slap you with his little feet. He does that sort of thing, be warned.

      He might. He’s talked about it. Then, he decided to take steroids.

  7. 17 Sonya Solomonovich November 21, 2015 at 03:21

    I think Shnodgrate is on to something here! How does one make the most of time? I just practiced playing my ukelele for five minutes and now the whole day has gone by.

    Do you suppose Clara is in fact not just a tea store employee but also an infamous international thief? I do not trust her.

    • 18 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2015 at 19:08

      Nice! How do you like your ukulele?

      No! Do you suppose? Now that is something. She was trying to take the sword from me, do you suppose?

      • 19 Sonya Solomonovich November 24, 2015 at 00:46

        The uke is really awesome! It’s much easier to play than a guitar, not that I’m abandoning the guitar, mind you.

      • 20 Sonya Solomonovich November 24, 2015 at 00:48

        Yes, I think she may have been trying to take the sword. We still don’t know that much about her. Perhaps Mark Malone can provide some information from his secret spy network?

  8. 21 Lady Dunamis November 20, 2015 at 23:57

    There is a plot afoot! And you had to invite someone in your trickery. Totally and punch-isly wicked of you.

    • 22 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2015 at 19:07

      But of course you had to notice I didn’t do it on purpose…

    • 23 Susan P November 23, 2015 at 14:21

      I can’t decide if I was fortunate or not. Sometimes it is difficult to tell.

  9. 24 John W. Howell November 20, 2015 at 21:57

    At least you have the business part. Charley looks like he would be fun in a bar.

    • 25 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2015 at 19:07

      Charley would be able to tell many tales of his derring do.

      • 26 John W. Howell November 22, 2015 at 19:09

        With a scabbard?

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke November 23, 2015 at 16:28

        Hmm, now that is a thought. Do you suppose he has one?

      • 28 John W. Howell November 23, 2015 at 16:37

        I thought you grabbed the sword and he the scabbard.

  10. 29 InfiniteZip November 20, 2015 at 21:44

    I really do like Charley, he is quite handsome, do you think if he became a prince, he would be handsome?👄🐸

    • 30 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2015 at 19:07

      Well, now, I wouldn’t call Charley handsome at all, you know. Maybe a bit scary?

      • 31 InfiniteZip November 23, 2015 at 00:29

        The eye brows perhaps, but a handsome chap beneath the warts.

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke November 23, 2015 at 16:31

        We just have to slice them off with the katana.

      • 33 InfiniteZip November 23, 2015 at 16:38

        I think they are fine, kind of Andy Rooneyish, to cut them, how would he keep the slime out of his eyes while swimming?

  11. 34 Debbie November 20, 2015 at 19:34

    So now you’ve involved poor, innocent Clara in your thieving?? What were you thinking of, Professor? You’ve heard, of course, that a secret is safe as long as it’s never revealed, yet there you go, showing her the item thieved and letting her have part of it!!

    Charley is kind of cute in a toad-y way, don’t you agree? Wonder if the little guy I wrote my limerick about is going to look like Charley one day?!!

    • 35 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2015 at 19:05

      But…but…but…Debbie! I didn’t do it on purpose! Now, she’s in on it, see. There’s nothing we can do about it, see. Unless you have a place I could hide.

      I think it’s quite possible, if that little guy comes off the steroids.

  12. 36 Heartafire November 20, 2015 at 16:01

    I really love the quote by Schnodgrate, my feelings exactly. I can tell you hold the Katana I’m high regard Professor. I had a feeling you would be setting sail for England soon. May I house sit Charley? :)’

    • 37 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2015 at 19:03

      Are you sure you can handle Charley, tho? See, sometimes he has tantrums. Don’t you think England is the perfect place to go?

      • 38 Heartafire November 22, 2015 at 21:04

        I think I can handle Charley , I am good with toads, even cranky ones. Never been to England, but I kind of like the music, they tell me I was born there…no …that was somewhere else.

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke November 23, 2015 at 16:31

        *Laughing lots* I get that one! Good one, Hollie. Charley just might attack you, too.

  13. 40 FictionFan November 20, 2015 at 16:01

    (Thank goodness you told us that was Charley – I thought it might have been Manly-Man after a heavy night-out!)

    Well, sir, I’m disappointed in you! All that effort just so you could have a late-night tryst with your Clara! Couldn’t you just ask the girl out for dinner like normal folk? And to be so close to her with an unsheathed katana and yet not chop off her hair – really, what were you thinking?

    • 41 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2015 at 19:02

      (Hahahaha! Oh, he’d love to hear that. He just needs to get back on the steroids and you won’t know the difference. I’m sure of it. Just like Rafa.)

      I admit, I should’ve swung, but then again, the sword is so nice, I don’t want to ruin it, see. Can you believe I ran into her?

      • 42 FictionFan November 23, 2015 at 15:52

        *gasps* Rafa doesn’t need steroids! He’s perfect just the way he is! *pauses for a little mini daydream*

        I can believe it, sir! Clearly a pre-planned assignation! Is there no end to your womanising? If I had the energy, I would flounce! And now she’s stolen your scabbard – I knew she was untrustworthy! I can only hope my Schwarzy manages to put everything right again… *pauses for another little daydream*

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke November 23, 2015 at 16:33

        I might agree. So, I’ve been seeing that he’s been victorious recently?

        Well, it is funny that she got the scabbard. I really can’t believe it, you know. Then again, maybe it was my evil revenge plan? You know, give her the katana (or the least important part of it) so she’d get in trouble?

      • 44 FictionFan November 25, 2015 at 15:57

        You might? *wide eyes* Good! Stop when you get to his size then, and don’t go for the full BL look…

        Hmm… shouldn’t it be her who’s taking revenge? But stick with the plan anyway – it’s always good to see your girlies get in trouble. I wonder if they’ll throw her in a dungeon… with rats! *eyes gleam*


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