What goes around comes around, is only true if you send something bad around, it seems, which is a pity.
V. Shnodgrate, Renowned PL Poet
But if you think about it, it starts to make sense.
This professor explained:
“See,” I said, “a katana is nothing more than a warrior. And warriors go missing in action all the time.”
It was succinct and I said it as sweetly as I could.
Now, the prince’s face was growing red. It was so red, in fact, that it looked like a beet married a tomato and had some red sauce on an onion.
It was that red.
His mouth was also hanging open.
“You look cranky,” I observed.
“Toby thinks this is awful,” Toby chimed in.
Not a good time.
Then Clara did the unthinkable. Her first plan of action wasn’t working too well, see.
Clara fell on her knees and began to sob, clutching at the prince’s…whatever that thing was he was wearing on his lower half.
Something between a ladies dress and a fellows slacks.
He was astounded, the prince was. And also a bit happy.
You see, he likes that sort of thing. The fawning.
“I’m so, so sorry!” she was crying. “It’s all his fault!”–this poor professor was pointed at there–“he made me do it! He took me against my will”–*choke/sob*–“and made me help him…”–*choke*–“him…”–*gurgle*–“him…rob you!”
It was a great acting job. Goodness me. I was in for it! Being fetched out, see!
The prince dropped to a knee, compassion the only expression on his face.
“My little dear,” he said softly, “do not worry a thing or two, this evil, vile man shall be destroyed entirely, and you shall inherit whatever he has.”
Prince Beef stood and looked at me. Of course he missed Clara’s knowing glance at me, complete with a smirk.
“What say you to that, my man?” the prince said to me haughtily.
And that’s when I did it:
“Two things,” this professor said, regaining his composure. And I was. I was on a roll now. Nothing was going to stop me.
“Toby thinks you should watch it,” Toby warned.
“One,” I continued, ignoring Toby, of course,”you’re quite right: this professor is evil and vile. It’s even said his evilness blots out the sun.”
Prince Beef huffed. “Get on with it!”
“Two,” the professor continued, “I’ve not much that one could inherit. And three–”
“Hold on,” Toby said, “that’s an extra one than you’re entitled.”
“Haha!” Prince Beef said triumphantly, tapping his heeled boots. “He’s right there!”
Then he turned to the rest of his guards. “Take him away and kill him inhumanely, film it, too, then give everything he has to this girl.”
Clara didn’t seem to pleased, but this professor couldn’t focus on that right now.
That’s all Toby got out.
Quick as a noodle coming out of the boiling water, I swung.
Toby sank to the ground. He’d feel that later.
The guards charged, but I was as nimble as a spider caught in a web. (And they’re nimble since they don’t get stuck, see.)
One got a good square hit on me, but I was able to rush past, running like an elk.
The professor had escaped.