If failure teaches success, then it’s a fairly good teacher, and gets a very bad rap.
V. Shnodgrate, Renowned PL Poet
Schwarz Tauptinker released the pressure he was pressing down with on my neck with the chef knife.
Here’s the thing: Never press with lots of pressure with a knife. Otherwise, *gush-gush*.
“Explain what you mean, bud,” Parker said.
“Well,” this professor began, “Fats Henry has the Jeweled Katana here. I say we poison him and steal the katana–which you and Schwarz may have. And, of course, I’ll help you as penance.”
I thought it a rather convincing lie.
Schwarz totally released the pressure, and this professor sat up.
I rubbed my poor neck, too, you should know.
“That’s a good idea,” Schwarz said, looking hard at Parker. “Why not do?”
“I don’t know, bud,” Parker replied, crossing his arms. “Did we really need him to tell us we could try to escape? I mean, of course I knew that, bud!”
“I didn’t think about it, chickit,” Schwarz admitted. “But we didn’t know Fats had the katana–tell you what!”
“True,” Parker said.
Yo-Yo. (That’s my triumphant phrase, by the wayside.)
Parker turned to me. “Why do we need your help, bud? We could do everything you said–poison Henry, steal the katana, escape–without you.”
Schwarz’s mouth dropped open into victorious smile. It was a cross between a scowl and a smile. “Yeah, baby child, we don’t need you, chickit!”
“But you do,” this professor affirmed.
“Why?” Parker said, looking quite confident, and making a clicking noise with his tongue. (He does that sort of thing often.)
“Yeah, why?” Schwarz echoed.
“Because I’ll scream louder than a maiden who spies a toad on the hem of her boot.”
The professor was embarrassed immediately. I must admit this. After all, I’m a mighty warrior. And that comparison was horrid. I close my eyes to it from now on. I refuse to see it. I refuse to believe I said it. I refuse it, in other words.
But it did work.
“He’s got a chickit point!” Schwarz spit. He was cranky. “We can’t have him screaming and giving us away.”
Parker thought for a minute. “Okay, bud,” he said, “you’re in. Get us the sword and get us outta here.” *tongue click noise*
And at that exact moment, the Robots stepped into the room.
“His worshipful Fats Henry is very hungry for his supper,” they both said in unison. “Bring now.”
Perfectly perfect–like a hot cherry sucker.