Okay, so, outlet malls are sorta outside malls–if that makes sense.
I’ve finally sorted that after all these years.
You see, when I first heard about an outlet mall, this professor said: “What sort of devilry is this?”
And I’ve got three main problems with outlet malls. Here they are:
(1) Too many clothing stores.
(2) Too little knife stores.
(3) No bakeries.
I think they are three good reasons. Enough of an excuse to declare war on outlet malls.
Yes, well, I’m glad you agree, the sudden.
Anyways and some, the professor was actually at an outlet mall recently searching for this thingy.
I couldn’t find it either.
So, I leaned up against a wall. It’s important to take breathers like that, you know.
I didn’t even see the fellow approach, but there he was.
He looked like a security fellow.
“Yes?” I asked. “What’s up, my man?”
“No soliciting outside this store.”
It was Gap.
“I’m not doing that,” I assured him. “I’m just hanging on the wall. Or, actually, leaning on it.”
“You don’t get it. I need you to move on. Find another place to ‘hang’.”
And that’s when I got a bit cranky. I shouldn’t have, but I did.
“Do you own this wall?”
“That’s besides the point.”
“No,” I said, “that is my point, the sudden.”
“The sudden? What are you? High?”
“You can’t stick to my point, can you?”
“Listen, you have to move, or I’ll call the police.”
“But do you own the wall? This, I feel in my boney bones, is a free wall.”
“It’s not a free wall, and you have to move on. Now.”
“Okay,” I said, “but only after you answer a question.”
He put his hands on his hips and breathed hard. “What?”
“What is the point of security if they need to call the police?”
And I left him with that.
I do admit, this professor was too cranky. But still…
Moral: Don’t let security make you cranky when you’re leaning on a free wall. It is a free country, after all.