The Lakonia, Beetlejuice, and…That’s It

professor speaks

The professor might rampage. You see, yesterday the internet was playing a game with me. It shut off lots and then turned on lots. It was vexing. Nearly made me riot, which is worse than rampaging, if you’re wondering.

But anyways and some…

So, looky here!

It’s a well-known fact that the professor is heartless.

It’s also well-known that he fought on the battlefields of Troy with Hector.

It’s also well-known that Hector was the professor’s mentor.

And…

…here is proof:

20160109_154755

Lakonia

The professor’s short sword.

Isn’t it fearsome looking?

I shall rampage with it soon.

That sword, see, proves that I fought on the plains of Troy. How else would I get such a fine weapon? *is proud*

Also, here’s my man, Beetlejuice:

20160111_160535

Beetlejuice

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96 Responses to “The Lakonia, Beetlejuice, and…That’s It”


  1. 1 Sonya Solomonovich January 18, 2016 at 14:11

    How long have you had Beetlejuice? He’s cute!

    Also, I like the sword! Perfect for a rampage. The professor must be very old indeed if he has fought on the plains of Troy. What is your secret to younger looking skin? ;)

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2016 at 20:06

      Isn’t he something? Well, I just got him…for Christmas! *beams*

      *laughs* Well, I probably look ancient. You know, I suppose I’m a couple hundred years old. No, wait, I’m way older than that! Wow. Impressive.

  2. 3 PorterGirl January 16, 2016 at 09:40

    Beetlejuice is a fine looking fellow! Also – nice sword, Professor.

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke January 17, 2016 at 19:33

      BJ is awesome. He’s a bit prickly, like me. The sword is….beautiful! A work of art, see.

      • 5 PorterGirl January 18, 2016 at 14:27

        Prickly is good. And he has wonderful hair! Oh yes the sword is quite something. A wonderful thing to admire.

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2016 at 20:07

        Do you suppose BJ likes the sword? I bet so. They’re both a bit prickly.

      • 7 PorterGirl January 18, 2016 at 20:51

        I bet he does. I imagine that he dreams of wielding it!

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke January 19, 2016 at 13:58

        *laughs* Me too. Ah, we all have aspirations.

      • 9 PorterGirl January 19, 2016 at 14:23

        It’s a good thing to have. Right now I am aspiring to a Subway sandwich!

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke January 19, 2016 at 21:29

        *laughing* I think that just might be my fault. I’m aspiring…to Chinese!

  3. 11 John W. Howell January 15, 2016 at 22:55

    I like that little knife and the plant. Can you take the plant for a walk?

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke January 17, 2016 at 19:33

      Little knife?!! I think I should be able to. Don’t you think?

      • 13 John W. Howell January 17, 2016 at 20:22

        Sure. I would think a dog might be easier to walk.

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2016 at 20:03

        Probably. You might have to carry this chap.

      • 15 John W. Howell January 18, 2016 at 21:38

        Yes. In a wagon

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke January 19, 2016 at 13:59

        A wagon. Never been in one of those beasts.

      • 17 John W. Howell January 19, 2016 at 14:14

        Radio Flyer?

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke January 19, 2016 at 21:28

        Is that a sled?

      • 19 John W. Howell January 19, 2016 at 22:30

        No a little red wagon.

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke January 20, 2016 at 13:13

        I used to have one of those! Tried riding down a hill once. Didn’t work out like I’d planned.

      • 21 John W. Howell January 20, 2016 at 21:02

        I’ve witnessed the same thing myself.

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke January 21, 2016 at 15:06

        Don’t ever try it, Mr. Howell.

      • 23 John W. Howell January 21, 2016 at 16:56

        I just watched as DJ Wallace hit a tree.

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke January 22, 2016 at 14:52

        *laughing* Was he okay in the end?

      • 25 John W. Howell January 22, 2016 at 16:43

        10 stitches later.

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke January 22, 2016 at 21:45

        You could’ve warned him, maybe.

      • 27 John W. Howell January 22, 2016 at 22:48

        Naw. DJ knew everything about everything. Besides he wooda punched me in the nose.

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke January 25, 2016 at 14:10

        After the crash?

      • 29 John W. Howell January 25, 2016 at 23:28

        Before and after

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke January 26, 2016 at 13:29

        What a beast, then.

      • 31 John W. Howell January 26, 2016 at 14:13

        That was DJ

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke January 26, 2016 at 21:43

        A warrior I should point out.

      • 33 John W. Howell January 26, 2016 at 22:43

        Yes. Not intelligent warrior. He went to prison.

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke January 27, 2016 at 13:25

        What a horrid end. Did he escape?

      • 35 John W. Howell January 27, 2016 at 14:27

        Nope. Paroled

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke January 27, 2016 at 20:33

        *laughs* Wow. I’m losing respect for him. What’s he about nowadays?

  4. 37 Simply Skeptical January 15, 2016 at 22:26

    Beetlejuice is tiny, but indeed presents fearless & fearsome. With the Lakonia and Beetlejuice as your main man Professor you’re inVINCEible!!

    • 38 Professor VJ Duke January 17, 2016 at 19:33

      Hahahahahaha. I see what you did there. Still, it won’t save you from revenge…

  5. 39 Haylee January 15, 2016 at 18:27

    If you have future techy problems, perhaps you could send out smoke signals or the pigeons with the next story instalment. Although, I hope the tinterwebs behave themselves now they’ve seen you mean business!

    Is Beetlejuice the planty thing or the attached twiggy thing with a feather in its cap? Either way, all house plants should have personal names in my opinion.

    • 40 Professor VJ Duke January 17, 2016 at 19:28

      Now–be honest, mind you–if a pigeon came to your house each day with a TPL story, would you feed him, shoot him, or capture him? The pigeon, I mean.

      Otherwise they feel left out. BJ is…the whole thing, see.

      • 41 Haylee January 17, 2016 at 20:57

        It depends. Would it be the same pigeon ferrying the stories back and forth, like a Hogwarts owl? I’m not sure I’d have room for multiple birds. Although, I certainly wouldn’t shoot him, not even for the sake of pie!

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2016 at 20:04

        Pigeon pie…is that a thing?

        Now, it’d be the same bird. Unless he hired a few blighters to carry some of the burden with him. In which case…maybe around 3?

      • 43 Haylee January 18, 2016 at 21:49

        It’s most definitely a thing. Probably a British thing. Or a hipster thing. And ‘Sing a Song of Sixpence’ has blackbird pie.
        Anyway… Three is a magic number and my favourite so as long as it’s no more, I’m happy :)

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke January 19, 2016 at 14:00

        You know, I’m called a hipster all the time by my brother? *ashamed face* Still, it sounds tasty.

        Not four then?

      • 45 Haylee January 19, 2016 at 15:18

        Stop trying to push more pigeons my way, you… you… beatnik bully! Surely you’re not really a hipster are you? Is it dress code, the smoothies you make or the way you trim your moustache? ;)

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke January 19, 2016 at 21:33

        *laughing* I like being called that. Even though I’m not quite sure what a beatnik is… Well, not really. I hope not. I don’t drink smoothies (sadly) and I’m trying to grow a playoff beard, but it’s not really working.

      • 47 Haylee January 19, 2016 at 22:27

        I’m glad, I thought I was being a little harsh with the bullying tag!

        But look, you’ll have to sort this facial fur out if you’re truly hipster or beatnik. Especially if that’s a thing – Movember, Decembeard and January play-off growth?

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke January 20, 2016 at 13:12

        *laughing* I’m used to getting beat up on!

        Haha. And a bit of February. Well, I can’t help it! It’s not like…Edelman’s beard for instance. If I could grow one of those, I’d be the beast.

        Okay, that image, too, is very cool. I mean, look at that chap. He’s got swag!

      • 49 Haylee January 20, 2016 at 13:34

        You know you want a beret now… 😉

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke January 21, 2016 at 14:56

        I do, the sudden! I’d look…odd with one.

  6. 51 FictionFan January 15, 2016 at 17:46

    This is all just a sneaky ploy to keep me in suspense about my Schwarzy all over the weekend!!! *riots and rampages and runs amok*

    • 52 Professor VJ Duke January 17, 2016 at 19:27

      *laughs* Runs amok in what? I’ve always wondered on that. Now, now. It wasn’t planned really! But I think you’ll be very proud of Schwarz come Tuesday…

      • 53 FictionFan January 18, 2016 at 16:48

        Oh? Then I shall look forward to that…

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2016 at 20:07

        Yes, think on it, like sheep.

      • 55 FictionFan January 19, 2016 at 00:53

        Bah!

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke January 19, 2016 at 14:00

        But no humbug?

      • 57 FictionFan January 19, 2016 at 16:06

        It’s Tuesday…

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke January 19, 2016 at 21:34

        Ooo, sorry. I meant Wednesday. Sometimes even I forget the schedule. That’s why I wrote it up there, see.

      • 59 FictionFan January 19, 2016 at 23:28

        Sch…sch…schedule?!!!! That’s so funny!!! *falls off chair gurgling*

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke January 20, 2016 at 13:24

        Haha. You’re hilarious, my friend. I keep one! I’ve been keeping one! For…two weeks so far!

      • 61 FictionFan January 20, 2016 at 17:33

        You have! Well, nearly, anyway! *chuckles*

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke January 21, 2016 at 15:05

        I’m right on schedule. A bit late today, tho…

  7. 63 Debbie January 15, 2016 at 16:32

    That’s one cool sword, Professor! Looks like it will definitely do the trick of protecting you; however, if attacked, I think I’d prefer the katana. After all, who wants to be THAT close to one’s attacker??!

    • 64 Professor VJ Duke January 17, 2016 at 19:26

      Oh, me! Me, me, me! I feel like a minion, the sudden. But imagine using the lakonia! You’d be a dadblame Spartan warrior, Debbie!

      • 65 Debbie January 17, 2016 at 21:06

        I would, you know!! It’s the Irish in me. But I wouldn’t want to be TOO close to the wounding. Or the wounded. That lakonia is so short, you’d have to be right within somebody’s grasp for it to do any good!

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2016 at 20:05

        Haha. The Irish! Nice. Yes, good point. It’d be real up close and ghastly. Probably get splattered with blood.

  8. 67 Susan P January 15, 2016 at 15:05

    Ummm…what did I miss?

    • 68 Professor VJ Duke January 17, 2016 at 19:26

      The short sword, of course!

      • 69 Susan P January 18, 2016 at 01:25

        *Hands over the short sword*

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2016 at 20:05

        Did George like it?

      • 71 Susan P January 18, 2016 at 20:43

        He said that his claws worked better.

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke January 19, 2016 at 13:57

        Ask him if I can borrow his…

      • 73 Susan P January 19, 2016 at 14:20

        He said he will not lend his claws.

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke January 19, 2016 at 21:28

        I might try and thieve them then.

      • 75 Susan P January 19, 2016 at 21:48

        You would get the worse of it.

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke January 20, 2016 at 13:10

        I’d dodge about, mind you.

      • 77 Susan P January 20, 2016 at 13:12

        Mind smide

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke January 20, 2016 at 13:27

        My mind is perfectly intact, thank you!

      • 79 Susan P January 20, 2016 at 13:54

        That was what afraid of.

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke January 21, 2016 at 14:57

        Time for war!

      • 81 Susan P January 21, 2016 at 17:24

        What will you use?

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke January 22, 2016 at 14:56

        Pickles.

      • 83 Susan P January 23, 2016 at 15:17

        Sweet or sour?

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke January 25, 2016 at 14:17

        Together!!

  9. 85 Heartafire January 15, 2016 at 15:02

    We’re you ambushed. had to make a quick get away? Not even taking the time to snip the price tag off Beetlejuice. I last saw Beetlejuice in Targets. Yes, I ‘m still laughing.

    • 86 Professor VJ Duke January 17, 2016 at 19:26

      *laughs* He might’ve come from there…he was a gift, see! Isn’t he lovely? Say yes, of course.

  10. 87 L. Marie January 15, 2016 at 14:33

    Now that’s what I like to see–you arming yourself with cool weaponry. Rats and a heifer, if only you would get into the habit of caring your blades around. Maybe you wouldn’t be bothered by the likes of Fats Henry or Prince Beef.

    • 88 Professor VJ Duke January 17, 2016 at 19:25

      I know. I must remember to take them with me when I leave home. Any cool ways I can maybe remember?

      • 89 L. Marie January 18, 2016 at 14:50

        You have to be like Aragorn–keep yourself armed at all times. Remember the scene in the movie when Elrond came to visit him at the camp? Aragorn sprang out of bed with a knife in hand when a soldier came to announce Elrond’s arrival. *nods significantly*

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2016 at 20:07

        That’s true!! Love that scene. See, that Aragorn got it all right. But…what if he rolled over on that knife while sleeping? Ghastly.

  11. 91 Catherine January 15, 2016 at 14:25

    You had me at Beetlejuice…but I was expecting a photo of Michael Keaton AS Beetlejuice. Now I’ll have to look for that beetlejuice plant and stand over it and say “Beetlejuice” three times!

    • 92 Professor VJ Duke January 17, 2016 at 19:24

      *laughs* Don’t call him here! Goodness. If he comes, I’m sending him to you, don’t you know!

  12. 93 desertdweller29 January 15, 2016 at 14:14

    Is there a tag still on Beetlejuice? Nothing makes one feel as unloved as a tag, good sir. Use you sword for good and cut it off!

    • 94 Professor VJ Duke January 17, 2016 at 19:23

      I’m really too lazy. Do you think it makes him ugly?

  13. 95 walt walker January 15, 2016 at 14:06

    So do you prefer the short sword to the katana for rampaging? You know, in the new Star Wars, Kylo Ren goes on two rampages with his lightsaber. Pretty good little rampages they are, too.

    • 96 Professor VJ Duke January 17, 2016 at 19:22

      That’s a good question. I think the short sword. The katana is for rioting, see. Is Kylo the storm trooping chap?


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