Treachery is one of those things that’s not predictable. If it were, it’d just be its more boring cousin, Rottenness.
~ V. Shnodgrate, Renowned PL Poet
“I put that poison bottle on the self down there, ’cause I knew you were going to try to poison me!
See, Fats Henry’s whole thingy wasn’t making sense. He put that bottle down there on purpose? And he put it there because he knew he was going to be poisoned?
This professor must’ve been missing something, ’cause it wasn’t making sense, see, his logic. No-sense-logic. I bet that’s what he learned in school.
Schwarz finished all the soup in the dish and wiped his mouth.
“Tasty,” he said.
Henry’s face fell.
“But…but…but…” he began. “It wasn’t poisoned, huh?!“
Then I saw Bud Parker’s face.
He was smiling.
Something was up.
“Why no, bud,” Parker said, feigning care. “We’d never poison you, would we, Schwarz?”
“Nope,” Schwarz answered. “Chickit never.”
“I’m impressed with you all,” I said aloud.
Henry grabbed his bowl from Schwarz and poured some soup into it.
He slurped it down.
“Ugh! It’s awful, but definitely not poisoned…”
Henry stood there shaking his head.
Parker shot Schwarz a glance, who shot Parker a glance.
They were shooting glances back and forth.
Finally, Henry looked up.
“Idiots!” he boomed. “You’ll just stay my slaves forever. I won’t give you an easy out like that again!”
“What was your plan exactly?” I asked. “Inquiring minds are curious about those minds who obviously don’t inquire.”
“Well,” Henry began, a bit subdued, “I was going to see if they had treachery in them. You can always tell. Doesn’t make sense to keep servants who have treachery in them around, ’cause eventually they’ll take you out. You can plan and all that, but, I mean, eventually, they’ll catch you off guards. So, my plan was to find out early, and get rid of them if they were treacherous. Since they’re not treacherous but only idiots, I’ll just keep ’em about.”
Whoa. The professor immediately had a brain freeze.
“So,” Schwarz said, the sudden, “you wouldn’t want this dessert, would you?”
And quicker than a mountain goat, Parker whipped out a muffin from behind his back and tossed it to Schwarz.
Schwarz prepared to take a huge bite from it.
They were acting. I was an impressed professor, let me say.
“Oh no!” Henry roared. “That’s mine! You don’t get anymore of my food!”
Henry’s gluttony was coming back to bite him in the a–…behind.
And even quicker than a mountain goat, Henry grabbed the muffin and chomped it down.
He hit the floor immediately with a groan.
“You….treacherous animals!” he roared.
He’d been poisoned.