Jousting is Fun, I say

professor speaks

Okay, so the professor was having loads and loads of thinks.

That’s never a bad thing, see. Contrary to popular belief, a thinking professor isn’t a dangerous one; a thinking professor is just lethargic.

Anyways, I was having thinks on Jousting.

Yes, Jousting.

See, here’s the thing: Why isn’t Jousting done today?

I mean, it might be a little dangerous, but every Joust I’ve seen, it seems that the chaps are having devilishly good fun, doesn’t it?

Why do you suppose it’s not a sport today? Like Football, Tennis, Soccer, Basketball, Mitt-Throwing, Sneaker Racing, and Dominoes?

Unknown-1

This professor thought of three reasons.

(1) Probably because they don’t make armor like they used to. I mean, let’s be honest, if you don’t have good armor, you shouldn’t Joust. That’s just silly.

(2) The horses probably don’t like it, anymore. This picture told me that:

segway-jousting

I’m sure these machines don’t work as well.

(3) Hector isn’t around to promote it.

Dadblame Achilles! If he hadn’t killed Hector, we’d still be Jousting today.

So, yeah, all bad reasons. Are you with me to start this sport up again?

*listens*

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70 Responses to “Jousting is Fun, I say”


  1. 1 Sonya Solomonovich January 29, 2016 at 16:37

    Is mitt-throwing a real thing or did you make it up, professor?

    You are unfair to Achilles. I don’t think it’s entirely his fault! He might have promoted jousting too if he hadn’t been killed himself…

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke January 30, 2016 at 20:55

      Well, I thought it was real, but it might not be. It just jumped to my mind the sudden like a salmon.

      He killed Hector! The professor will throttle Achilles, don’t you know. *throttles*

      • 3 Sonya Solomonovich January 31, 2016 at 17:34

        Hahaha poor Achilles, throttled even after death.

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke February 1, 2016 at 14:54

        By the mighty professor, of course.

  2. 5 bardictale January 26, 2016 at 09:09

    No. I think sword play is better, so if I have to choose…

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke January 26, 2016 at 13:30

      Yes…?

      • 7 bardictale January 26, 2016 at 15:38

        Well, sword play.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke January 26, 2016 at 21:49

        I love sword play.

  3. 9 Susan P January 24, 2016 at 20:12

    Only if Merlin and Accolon; Gawain, Ywain, and Marhault are there.

    • 10 Professor VJ Duke January 25, 2016 at 14:18

      And Arthur?

  4. 11 HotBottoms January 23, 2016 at 09:59

    I’m thinking tricycles.

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke January 25, 2016 at 14:16

      Goodness…but that’s even slower!!

  5. 13 John W. Howell January 22, 2016 at 21:55

    Sure. I think it would be fun to ride at a breakneck speed toward another riding at a breakneck speed with the objective of putting a lance through the heart. Where do I sign up?

    • 14 Professor VJ Duke January 25, 2016 at 14:07

      I always thought they were trying to knock the heads off…but the heart thing sounds good, too. Here, sign this…

      • 15 John W. Howell January 25, 2016 at 23:29

        *signs* Sir Howell

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke January 26, 2016 at 13:29

        Sir?! You’re a knight?

      • 17 John W. Howell January 26, 2016 at 14:11

        Of course. Aren’t you?

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke January 26, 2016 at 21:42

        Well, I was, but they ripped the title from me.

  6. 19 FictionFan January 22, 2016 at 21:19

    Definitely we should bring it back – but this time round the horses should get to ride the men! Seems only fair…

    I do very much want to take part in mitt-throwing, though – sounds like my kind of sport.

    • 20 Professor VJ Duke January 22, 2016 at 21:49

      Goodness me. That might hurt a bit, tho. If the horses rode the men. Mr. Walt Walker and I wouldn’t join the jousting, then, see. We must keep it fair. The horses loved the sport, remember.

      *laughs* It does, doesn’t it? You’d be awesome.

      • 21 FictionFan January 22, 2016 at 23:30

        Oh, what’s a little pain to true heroes like you and Mr Walker! I’m sure you’d both cope admirably – and the horses deserve a rest…

        But who do we throw them at…?

      • 22 walt walker January 23, 2016 at 01:30

        Hear now! No horse shall ride man-back upon me! Heavens to Betsy! I’ll do this though… I’ll run alongside the beast carrying the lance. That should give him a little bit of a break.

        I’d prefer it not be one of those “to the death” matches, though. I’m not very good.

      • 23 FictionFan January 23, 2016 at 15:37

        Well, I’ve consulted with the Horse and Equestrian Lancing Partnership (H.E.L.P.) and they feel that’s a fair compromise. They would, however, like a written guarantee there’ll be no hiding behind the horse at the crucial moment…

        Don’t worry about the “to the death” thing – I’m sure it doesn’t hurt much! And it would be so heroic… *starry eyes*

      • 24 walt walker January 23, 2016 at 17:12

        I hereby promise not to hide behind the horse at the crucial moment.

        I might hide behind the Professor though. With the horse.

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke January 25, 2016 at 14:18

        *laughing lots* Hilarious conversation. But this is a thing: Jousting isn’t jousting without horses. Dadblame H.E.L.P. Maybe we could get other humans to ride on. Or bears.

      • 26 walt walker January 25, 2016 at 15:13

        Bears would be awesome. Pandas?

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke January 26, 2016 at 13:25

        A good option, too. Maybe a bit short?

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke January 25, 2016 at 14:15

        But horses…that’s mixing up the roles something awful. *riots*

        The trees, please.

      • 29 FictionFan January 25, 2016 at 18:30

        Well, we’ll start you off gently with a nice Shetland pony!

        Oh! *disappointed face* Not Clara, then?

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke January 26, 2016 at 13:28

        Well, are they smallish?

        You just asked me to save her!!

      • 31 FictionFan January 26, 2016 at 15:37

        Titchy – about the size of your dog, probably.

        Yes – but not from me!!!

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke January 26, 2016 at 21:49

        Titchy? *laughing lots and lots* That’s a cool word you got there.

        But…humdinger.

  7. 33 Debbie January 22, 2016 at 19:08

    Perhaps the animal rights folks thought jousting was too hard on horses?? But something tells me putting refrigerator-sized men on a football field and having them try to knock each other down is pretty cruel too.

    • 34 Professor VJ Duke January 22, 2016 at 21:48

      You mean Football? #GoPats That’s not cruel…just think of them as the Gladiator of the day. And did you know, the knights begged their horses not to charge (back in the days of jousting) but the horses wouldn’t listen?

      • 35 Debbie January 22, 2016 at 21:58

        I like the way you slipped in that GoPats message! Yes, gladiators indeed. Why would knights beg their horses not to charge?? Isn’t that counter-productive?

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke January 25, 2016 at 14:08

        Good point. That doesn’t make much sense, does it? Well, maybe jousting on bears! Imagine that.

  8. 37 Amanda Lyle January 22, 2016 at 17:34

    I’d be up for some jousting on segways! Looks fun.. 😳

    • 38 Professor VJ Duke January 22, 2016 at 21:46

      But they have to be red segways, Amanda. No pink ones.

      • 39 Amanda Lyle January 22, 2016 at 23:04

        Okay! I think I can cope with that! :-)

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke January 25, 2016 at 14:13

        Oh goody goody. Pink just ruins the mood, see.

      • 41 Amanda Lyle January 25, 2016 at 20:37

        Haha! Noted

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke January 26, 2016 at 13:29

        *laughs* Professorish thoughts there.

  9. 43 Haylee January 22, 2016 at 17:30

    I second what Porter Girl said! There are loads of jousting tournaments around the UK, I know you’d be upset with the lack of real swords but some of it can be quite brutal. It’s marvellous! The Segway jousters do look a tad lame – do they even have any speed on a Segway? Pointless.

    • 44 Professor VJ Duke January 22, 2016 at 21:46

      I’m. So. Jealous. Of. You. Two. I refuse to believe it, the sudden. This is fantastic! Do you know how lucky you are! Sign up immedialty, I say!

      • 45 Haylee January 22, 2016 at 22:00

        I’d rather be a spectator, can’t say I’m too handy on a horse! But it’s certainly true (as if we’d lie to you!) Look… You can even attend jousting school at Warwick Castle!
        http://www.knightsofmiddleengland.com/jousting-experiences/jousting-school/

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke January 25, 2016 at 14:08

        *mouth drops doubly* Can I go, please?!!!!!!!

      • 47 Haylee January 25, 2016 at 14:34

        I’ll prepare your application… There may be initiation tests though!

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke January 26, 2016 at 13:24

        Oh dear. What sort of tests?

      • 49 Haylee January 26, 2016 at 15:25

        Ones to prove whether you are a worthy knight.

        Hmmm, let’s see. A written exam on tables and which are better, rectangular or round? The ‘how to get a lady across a puddle’ test and most likely one that requires identification of and preferred fighting style of a range of dragons.

        Only then will they let you near weaponry and a horse. Methinks.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke January 26, 2016 at 21:46

        Hm…always round. Push the ladies. That’s the quickest way, I think. There’s different sorts of dragons? I think I’d fail that test. Too much for me to memorize, see.

  10. 51 PorterGirl January 22, 2016 at 16:19

    They still do jousting at Warwick Castle here in the UK. I mean, it’s not to the death or anything – but they do it all summer! It is very cool.

    • 52 Professor VJ Duke January 22, 2016 at 21:44

      No. Way. Are you serious? Sigh me up at once! *gets armor*

      • 53 PorterGirl January 22, 2016 at 22:28

        I did tell you this. Come on over!

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke January 25, 2016 at 14:09

        My memory has beetles in it, you know. And after I beat everyone, Hector will be proud.

      • 55 PorterGirl January 25, 2016 at 14:32

        And there are a lot of things to remember, of course. Do give my best to the beetles. Hector will be in awe!

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke January 26, 2016 at 13:24

        These beetles are horrid ones. All beetles are, really.

      • 57 PorterGirl January 26, 2016 at 13:27

        I quite like stag beetles – they have a big horn thing for fighting. I need one of those. (A horn, not a beetle)

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke January 26, 2016 at 13:30

        But imagine if you could get a whole army of stag beetles to do your bidding! That’s power right there, don’t you see.

      • 59 PorterGirl January 26, 2016 at 13:32

        I might still need the horn, though – so they recognise me as their leader. Also – I would look cool with a horn.

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke January 26, 2016 at 21:41

        Haha. Good point. You’d have to have a horn. And you could pinch extra hard. Two good things.

  11. 61 desertdweller29 January 22, 2016 at 16:12

    Yes! Let’s bring back the jousting. And not with phony, rubber tips. I mean, real blades of glory… Maybe on hoverboards (not pink, mind you) so there’s the element of becoming a YouTube sensation.

    Your loads of thinks has become contagious, I’m afraid. My head feels heavy the sudden…

    • 62 Professor VJ Duke January 22, 2016 at 21:44

      Hahahaha. Let’s do it. Black and red hover boards and real spear tips. Are you up for it?

  12. 63 E. January 22, 2016 at 15:44

    Jousting sounds like fun! Well, except for the part where you get knocked off a galloping horse by a giant pole. That sounds painful. But everything else sounds like fun. Don’t some Renaissance fairs have jousting?

    • 64 Professor VJ Duke January 22, 2016 at 21:43

      Do they really? I’ll need to go to one. Well, yes. That would hurt. But wouldn’t the armor absorb it all?

  13. 65 L. Marie January 22, 2016 at 15:37

    I was about to bring up that video of the joust on hoverboards. I liked the idea up until I heard about some boards combusting. Oh well. Skateboards might work.

    • 66 Professor VJ Duke January 22, 2016 at 21:42

      The boards just combust? This is something. I was thinking about getting one. Now, I must rethink it. Are you sure? Rats.

      • 67 L. Marie January 25, 2016 at 16:55

        You might check the internet for the manufacturers of the boards that did. I heard that the cheaper ones are the ones that have caught on fire. :-( Yes, I’m sure. Here is a link: http://www.cnet.com/news/why-are-hoverboards-exploding-and-catching-fire/

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke January 26, 2016 at 13:26

        Hmm…what a thing. Unless you gift one of those hover boards to a friend you don’t like. That might be the ticket.

  14. 69 Simply Skeptical January 22, 2016 at 15:17

    POLO in one word. Sticks, horses, ball thingys, sticks, and a tad bit safer. Yep, that should satisfy. Forget the desire to knock and spear one another off horses. Yes???

    • 70 Professor VJ Duke January 22, 2016 at 21:41

      Hmm…nah. Jousting is for heroes, see!


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