Why Snakes Get a Bum Rap

Now, the professor is thinking about snakes, the sudden.

And it’s all Mr. Walt Walker’s fault.

He should be blamed completely.

professor speaks

But anyways and some, snakes get a bum rap.

See, look at this beauty for example:

tumblr_inline_nd7or7AC9G1rdr1mg

Python, don’t you know. A green one, too.

This chap is just chilling, hanging out by himself, all wrapped up in a circle. Which is a neat thing. After all, it’s hard to hang out in a circle.

Now, if you make him cranky, he might do a bit of this thing:

969efd820fae19f9863554feb88f1b78

Haha! Only four teeth–poor thingy. Maybe even two…can’t tell…

Also, look at this! If the professor was a snake…this would be it…

ja08-FWW-p40LIVErev-sb

Then there’s this chap, hanging out in the circle (copying the python, see) and throwing his tongue about loosely:

Agkistrodon_contortrix_contortrix_CDC-a

Here’s a bad boy, who enjoys spitting:

image_1595_1e-King-cobra

And last but not least, a very old snake. Very old. Older than the professor even.

Older than...yeah.

Older than…yeah.

(If you’re interested in that chap, read this.)

So, see, then? Snakes are sweeter than cherry cigars.

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155 Responses to “Why Snakes Get a Bum Rap”


  1. 1 Sonya Solomonovich February 15, 2016 at 14:51

    I read about that worm-like fellow, cool article! I never knew there was a place called Cardamom Mountains. It actually sounds like a place in the punchy lands.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke February 15, 2016 at 15:25

      Doesn’t it? I think we should go explore and hunt in those mountains, Sonya.

      • 3 Sonya Solomonovich February 21, 2016 at 21:51

        Excellent idea! What shall we hunt?

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke February 22, 2016 at 14:41

        Gold, shrimp, or leprechauns?

      • 5 Sonya Solomonovich February 24, 2016 at 23:31

        Leprechauns can be tricky, so I vote for either gold or shrimp. Which would you prefer?

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2016 at 14:42

        Gold! That way we might fight the leprechauns anywise.

      • 7 Sonya Solomonovich February 29, 2016 at 16:45

        I see how it is. You want to hunt all three! The shrimp and gold should be easy compared to the leprechauns.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke March 1, 2016 at 02:00

        Do leprechauns have weapons, do you know?

      • 9 Sonya Solomonovich March 1, 2016 at 14:12

        Their weapons are their guile and devious sorcery. You know, they’re probably out getting ready to hunt us even as we speak since we’ve posted on the internet that we’re going to hunt them…

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2016 at 19:14

        Ooops. *holds mouth shut* Okay, let’s plan in secret then.

  2. 11 Jackie February 13, 2016 at 13:30

    Snakes are awesome!

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke February 15, 2016 at 15:20

      Even the brutally mean ones?

      • 13 Jackie February 15, 2016 at 15:32

        Nature is both beautiful and brutal so of course I think the brutal ones are cool too.

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2016 at 14:08

        Like the professor is all brutal. That’s why I like snakes.

      • 15 Jackie February 16, 2016 at 18:32

        Oh okay – that makes sense!

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2016 at 14:57

        Haha. #proud

  3. 17 progbeawr831 February 11, 2016 at 04:09

    Having owned many snakes over the years they do get a bum rap and everyone always says you can’t cuddle a snake….. says who?! I wore several around my neck while doing housework or sitting at the computer! The bigger 8 foot ones I had….not so much but they were a good way to get unwanted guests out of your house! Bwahahahaha!

    • 18 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:44

      Like a neck thingy! Wow. That is cool. What types did you have? Perfect for home defense, for scaring people away, and for cuddles. What’s not to like?

      • 19 progbeawr831 February 11, 2016 at 16:56

        Exactly! Good deterrant for anyone who didn’t like them! I had an 8foot and a 4foot Colombian Red Tailed Boa, 6foot Okeetee Corn Snake, 1 Miami Phase Corn, 2 Amelanistic Corn Snakes, 1 Russian San Boa, and for a VERY brief period of time a Recticulated Python!

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 14:37

        *mouth drops many feet to the ground* Wow!!!!! That is so cool. Were you ever worried that you might get…well…attacked?

      • 21 progbeawr831 February 12, 2016 at 16:33

        Oh yeah I was bitten quite a few times actually. There’s no loyalty with reptiles, everything is food to them lol

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 20:56

        *laughs* I figured that might be the case. Did it hurt?

      • 23 progbeawr831 February 13, 2016 at 18:38

        Only when the 8 footer launched its 2 inch fangs in to my shoulder! That was the day that I said, he needs a new home! The Retic only got about a dozen bites in to me and he was still a baby and I said yeeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh think about when it’s 15 feet long…….. ok, he goes somewhere that’s going to be safer AND bigger for him to live! Lol

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke February 15, 2016 at 15:22

        *laughs* You are a very brave person, don’t you know! I would’ve had the katana close to me all the while. Shivering too, probably.

      • 25 progbeawr831 February 15, 2016 at 17:33

        Hahahahahaha well thank you : ) I don’t have any of those pets now, can’t work all day then come home and work all night anymore. Fun while it lasted though

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2016 at 14:10

        You could’ve always brought them to work with you. Imagine that!!

      • 27 progbeawr831 February 16, 2016 at 17:52

        Actually I used to take the 8 footer when she was 6 feet to work on my day and called it “Action Jewellery” Bwahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
        It was just to show her off but still, really freaked people out!

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2016 at 14:54

        I’m sure it did! Goodness. Did it ever shed?

      • 29 progbeawr831 February 18, 2016 at 17:35

        Oh yeah, at least once a month, twice sometimes depending on how much it ate. I have a bag of the sheddings still. I’ve let my nieces use some for science projects etc in the past. You just can’t touch them for a couple of days after they shed, they’re very sensitive, kinda like touching a sunburn after you peel!

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke February 19, 2016 at 14:33

        They’d probably really bite you then. If you touched them, I mean.

      • 31 progbeawr831 February 19, 2016 at 17:37

        Yeah they were a little crabby and defensive if you went near them after shedding

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke February 22, 2016 at 14:31

        I think I might’ve worn body armor in your position. You know, like a knight of old.

      • 33 progbeawr831 February 22, 2016 at 17:30

        Nahhhh, I just left them alone for a couple of days then I’d be back picking them up playing with them and letting them go up my shirt sleeves or I’d hang off my neck. The little ones loved me….I think(?!) but never played the big’un lol. I’m crazy not insane lmao!

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2016 at 13:44

        *laughs* Up your arm…around your neck… *hides* That’s ghastly, don’t you know.

      • 35 progbeawr831 February 23, 2016 at 18:49

        Lol yup but it never bothered me. They were cute lil buggers lol

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2016 at 14:28

        Even the tongues? See, nah.

      • 37 progbeawr831 February 24, 2016 at 18:15

        Yup lol, their tongues kinda tickled, I knew it was their taste and sorta smell receptors in a way but now and then you are all like, what’s that tickling me? Oh yeah, snake tongue Lmao

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2016 at 14:36

        Hahaha. Maybe they were thinking about testing you!!

  4. 39 InfiniteZip February 10, 2016 at 16:59

    Ummm….you’re frightening me you know….they can be evil too, dastardly even….I don’t like cherry anyways. And cigars are bad for you…maybe even as deadly as those snakes I thinks.

    • 40 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:34

      Are snakes wily, would you say, Zippy?

      • 41 InfiniteZip February 11, 2016 at 16:42

        Like coyotes….

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 14:32

        Coyotes! I bet Rosie chases them down.

  5. 43 Simply Skeptical February 9, 2016 at 23:45

    Sweeter than cherry cigars – well I wouldn’t know and wouldn’t care to find out. Just keep both on the other side of the world please…

    • 44 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2016 at 13:51

      You’ve never had one? Me neither…but hey, they must be sweet.

  6. 45 Heartafire February 9, 2016 at 21:34

    Snakes are quite beautiful and not at all slimy like some people think. I had a corn snake once, it was so gorgeous with all its colors, then I found out the can carry bacteria…well, I don’t know if I told you but I am a germaphobic of the worst kind, so the the little fellow found freedom in a nearby field.

    • 46 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2016 at 13:46

      Now, did he run right away? Or did he cry around your house wanting back in?

      • 47 Heartafire February 10, 2016 at 14:34

        laughing out loud! He scooted off faster than snail mating season.

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:30

        Haha. Now that must be fast!

      • 49 Heartafire February 11, 2016 at 14:42

        and disappointing. :/

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:45

        But why?

      • 51 Heartafire February 11, 2016 at 14:46

        er …ah…I don’t know. shuffles feet, looks down.

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 14:21

        *laughs* Shuffling feet is fun.

      • 53 Heartafire February 12, 2016 at 14:25

        I once shuffled off to Buffalo.

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 14:40

        The Bills! I bet you didn’t like it.

      • 55 Heartafire February 12, 2016 at 16:00

        Oh, the Bills, where is that Katana!

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 20:55

        Here ya go!

  7. 57 Freakishly Fangirlish February 9, 2016 at 21:03

    Snakes are beautiful! As far as reptiles go, I rather fancy chameleons the most. Their eyes are insane. :P

    • 58 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 14:21

      I lovvvvvvve chameleons. In fact, if I was a bug, I’d pick chameleon, see.

      • 59 Freakishly Fangirlish February 12, 2016 at 14:26

        Same here. I really want to get one, but my mom doesn’t like reptiles. Thus, I am stuck with stinky kitties. :P

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 14:40

        But kitties aren’t stinky! And I sorta see what your mom means. I mean, after all, reptiles are…a bit different, wouldn’t you say?

      • 61 Freakishly Fangirlish February 12, 2016 at 15:26

        Well, they are scaly and rough…and I do love my kitties, but I was thinking that having a pet chameleon named Jack would be cool when I move out, ya know?

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 20:55

        That would be really cool, I must admit. Plus, he could turn different colors.

  8. 63 Haylee February 9, 2016 at 19:57

    Snakes are very cool – My mother almost bought a python when I was little. I have a child in my class too who has several and she frequently brings us in skins to look at. They’re fascinating.
    And so is that last chap! I’m not sure I’m pronouncing his name correctly though, I’m saying ‘Sicilian’ so I’ve decided he’s now a mafia boss. Who was in hiding. In Cambodia.

    • 64 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2016 at 21:12

      *laughing lots* I really do think you’d do well with a pet python. I bet it would listen to you brilliantly. In fact, you should get one and train it for me! Please, please. Haha. A mafia boss! I wanna be one of those, too.

      • 65 Haylee February 9, 2016 at 21:57

        You reckon I’m some kind of snake charmer?! As much as I like pythons, I’d be a little afraid it may consume me entirely when I was unaware… Or hypnotise me like that one in Jungle Book!

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2016 at 13:48

        That one in the Jungle Book is plum mean! I bet you can charm snakes. I bet this, yes. Now, pythons are the ones that squeeze lots, right? They’re scary, I admit.

      • 67 Haylee February 10, 2016 at 15:34

        The do squeeze yes, and dislocate their jaws so they can swallow elephants whole. I read it on the internet so it must be true…

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:32

        Dislocate jaws! Wow. Don’t you wish you could do that, too?

      • 69 Haylee February 11, 2016 at 15:46

        Hmmm… It might be dangerous. I’d likely think I could swallow more cake. Plus, I have images now of looking like a basking shark. Not the greatest look!

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 14:27

        But, Haylee, Basking Sharks are awesomely cool. Why, I want to be one the sudden.

      • 71 Haylee February 12, 2016 at 19:14

        I agree. But walking around with your mouth agape is not very pretty. Especially for a lady. So many thing you want to be. I’ve decided you’re just as faddy as I am!

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 21:04

        *laughs* That could be it, I suppose. Well, who cares about pretty! Orcs don’t worry about such things, you know.

  9. 73 walt walker February 9, 2016 at 18:24

    You’re the fancy colored one? I was looking for a white one with a hat. I’m not sure that last one is not a worm.

    • 74 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2016 at 21:08

      *laughs* A white worm with a hat. that’s how you picture me! Well. I suppose it’s only fair you take revenge, tho.

  10. 75 Susan P February 9, 2016 at 18:02

    I have enough snakes around here right now. It all includes several kinds of RATTLES.

    • 76 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2016 at 21:07

      Oh boy. What does George make of them?

      • 77 Susan P February 9, 2016 at 22:36

        George is busy making sure the buzzards don’t pester the outdoor cats.

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2016 at 13:50

        What sort of buzzards? I think I like buzzards.

  11. 79 Chris White February 9, 2016 at 17:35

    Honestly … you get discovered by these human fellows and how do they repay you ? They get you all extinct like. Still … their turn will come.

    • 80 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2016 at 21:06

      I do feel bad for the snakes, you know. I mean, it must hurt to curl in a ball, don’t you think?

  12. 81 Amanda Lyle February 9, 2016 at 17:27

    That last one looks like a worm 😮

    Snakes are pretty cool …from a distance!

    • 82 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2016 at 21:06

      Well, see, Amanda, that’s what happens to a snake when they age. They turn worm-ish, I suppose. Gah. Oh I’m sure you wanna pet the green on just a bit.

      • 83 Amanda Lyle February 9, 2016 at 21:08

        I’m not so sure about that. I’ll just admire it from afar *Scared face*

        I feel a bit sorry for the old one…

        I had no idea that snakes turn into worms as grow older. Ya learn something new everyday, eh?

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2016 at 21:14

        Well…maybe if it had a muzzle? I wonder if they make snake muzzles, the sudden. Hmm…

        *laughs* Here’s the thing, it is my theory, overall. I mean, if anyone asks you where you got it from, tell the me. I don’t want you getting ripped for my theory. People tend to rip my theories, see.

      • 85 Amanda Lyle February 9, 2016 at 21:31

        Muzzle or no muzzle… I’m not petting the snake.

      • 86 Amanda Lyle February 9, 2016 at 21:30

        Oh… they don’t actually turn into worms? I’ve just told all my friends… Oh man, they are going to mock me FOREVER! Noooooooooooooooo!

        And Noooooooooooo, I don’t want to pet the green, red, orange or blue snake!

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2016 at 13:46

        *laughing lots* I’m like so sorry, too, the sudden. I set you up, after all. Still, it is an interesting theory, you must admit.

        But…but…but…but…that’s just silly! I bet the snake really wants you to, the sudden.

      • 88 Amanda Lyle February 10, 2016 at 14:04

        Oooooo. You set me up 😭 just like the time my friend told me that strawberry flavoured water was made from the water that ran through fields of strawberries. Laugh away! I’m going to go hide under a rock. *crawls under rock*

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:29

        *laughs* Hm. Now I’m sorta tempted to try the strawberry water theory. I mean, technically, it should kinda work. Don’t you think? No hiding under rocks…might be snakes under there!!

  13. 90 John W. Howell February 9, 2016 at 17:07

    I always have liked snakes and the job they do keeping vermin under control. We live among them and all get along.

    • 91 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2016 at 21:05

      Ahh. My thoughts exactly. How many king cobras would you like?

      • 92 John W. Howell February 9, 2016 at 23:44

        I only need one and a basket. Oh and a flute.

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2016 at 13:50

        A flute? Whyever for?

      • 94 John W. Howell February 10, 2016 at 13:52

        To amaze the cobra and have it rise out of the basket.

  14. 95 desertdweller29 February 9, 2016 at 16:28

    Good God, man! Now I’M thinking about snakes. And I hate snakes. Had a few run-ins with rattlesnakes, you know. But I’m a charmer. I put them to sleep.

    Threw Walt right under the bus on that one!

    • 96 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2016 at 21:04

      You’ve had battles with rattle snakes? *amazed and wowed* That’s cool… Then you shouldn’t fear the king cobra, madam! *laughs* I did, true…do you suppose he might forgive me?

      • 97 walt walker February 9, 2016 at 23:44

        It’s okay. I threw you under the bus on Alastair’s blog, Old Sport.

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2016 at 13:50

        *mouth drops* You did?! When! *stomps foot*

      • 99 walt walker February 10, 2016 at 23:08

        Just the other day. I thought you might say the rat was cheating. Perhaps you’d be proud of him.

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:44

        *laughing lots* I’d be very proud of a cheating rat. Now, throwing one under the bus, Mr. Walt, is rather rude, you know.

  15. 101 kcg1974 February 9, 2016 at 16:09

    Oh, I don’t know. Still scared of them. Sorry….

    • 102 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2016 at 21:04

      Even the cute green one who’s begging you to pet him?

      • 103 kcg1974 February 10, 2016 at 01:01

        Lol….:)

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2016 at 13:51

        *bows*

      • 105 kcg1974 February 11, 2016 at 00:41

        Hahaha!

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:44

        But it was a good bow!

      • 107 kcg1974 February 11, 2016 at 17:03

        So true, Professor, I can not lie. :)

      • 108 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 14:38

        I’ve practiced for years, you know. It’s hard to get it quite right.

      • 109 kcg1974 February 13, 2016 at 02:31

        :) Happy Valentine’s Day, Professor. ❤️

      • 110 Professor VJ Duke February 15, 2016 at 15:19

        Happy Valentine’s day to you as well! I think we should start a petition to change the color from pink to red. Are you with me?

      • 111 kcg1974 February 15, 2016 at 16:23

        Oh, I love pink! Many shades to choose from and much more soothing, don’t you agree? Yes, Professor, I’m with you, 100%!

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2016 at 14:09

        But…pink…it’s so girlish! I mean, you know it is! For instance, a great warrior (like Hector) wouldn’t wear pink. But there are many shades, I suppose…dadblameit.

      • 113 kcg1974 February 16, 2016 at 14:35

        You are so funny, Professor. I will tie a maroon bow around Hector’s neck dotted in baby blue! 😊

      • 114 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2016 at 14:50

        *mouth drops* No! You cannot! Goodness. Imagine what his foes would say! They’d laugh their livers out!

      • 115 kcg1974 February 19, 2016 at 02:34

        Well, only the male snakes, and then because of jealousy. The females on the other hand would slither along side of him, charming him all the way.

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke February 19, 2016 at 14:39

        Ooo, I bet you’re right. The lady snakes would think he was cute. But…he wouldn’t be a warrior anymore!!

      • 117 kcg1974 February 19, 2016 at 23:16

        Not necessarily, Professor. He would attack and kill all suitors of his potential mates. A true ‘Warrior’ if there ever was one. :) Happy weekend! :)

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke February 22, 2016 at 14:36

        Ohhhhhhhhhhhh…just when I think I’ve won, you come up with another good point. That’s too many good points!!

      • 119 kcg1974 February 22, 2016 at 21:46

        Here’s to love among the reptiles! ❤️

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2016 at 13:47

        And war. Plenty of war.

      • 121 kcg1974 February 23, 2016 at 19:40

        You’re right…Where there’s love there will surely be war. :(

      • 122 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2016 at 14:29

        Brutally tough war! Let’s just ban love, I say.

      • 123 kcg1974 February 25, 2016 at 01:32

        Never. Whatever would Shakespeare, say?

      • 124 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2016 at 14:44

        Do you think he might like it? A bit?

      • 125 kcg1974 February 25, 2016 at 17:58

        Well, you’ve got me there. I have to agree. Just a ‘little bit.’ 😊

      • 126 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2016 at 23:36

        *laughs* I feel like I should get some m&m peanuts for winning, you know.

      • 127 kcg1974 February 26, 2016 at 03:21

        Sending a whole bag to you. 2lbs! :)

      • 128 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2016 at 14:24

        2lbs! Wow!! Thanks bunches. That’s like breakfast, lunch, and dinner!

      • 129 kcg1974 February 26, 2016 at 16:22

        Lol, it would be for me…..:(….:)

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke February 29, 2016 at 13:37

        Which would be awesome, you must admit.

  16. 131 Debbie February 9, 2016 at 15:57

    Professor, I can only hope I’m looking at all these snake photos early enough in the day that I’ll forget about them by bedtime and won’t suffer nightmares! I don’t like snakes…not one bit. I know some varieties are supposed to be good to have around, but I could do without them very nicely. Remember, the devil disguised himself as a snake, and look at all the damage that resulted in!

    • 132 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2016 at 21:03

      *laughs* True… That’s a good point. But surely Dallas would protect you from such vermin!

  17. 133 Alastair Savage February 9, 2016 at 15:40

    Are you sure the cobra is a boy? How do you know?

    • 134 Chris White February 9, 2016 at 17:37

      Get a ‘friend’ to ask it.

    • 135 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2016 at 21:02

      Oooooo…what a good point. Is it a lady, do you suppose?

      • 136 Alastair Savage February 10, 2016 at 07:11

        I guess you could wait to see if it lays an egg, although of course, it might have killed you by then!

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2016 at 13:56

        But what if the fellows lay eggs too? See, what a thing.

  18. 138 L. Marie February 9, 2016 at 15:29

    The red, black, and yellow snake has a lovely color scheme. I wouldn’t mind having a rug with those colors.
    The cobra looks like he’s having a bad day.

    • 139 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2016 at 21:02

      Doesn’t he, tho? Maybe his neck is getting sore. Could that be it?

  19. 140 FictionFan February 9, 2016 at 15:12

    Now, why do you think the red, yellow and black one looks like that? I always assumed their colours were for camouflage but the only place camouflage like that would work would be if someone wore it as a scarf to a soccer match! The green one is yucketh, but the brown one is oddly c&a… I think you should be that one. Unless there’s a purple one…

    Oooh, that last one looks like a giant worm! Quick! Get your hunting kit on before it wriggles away! (Bet it’s not older than BUS…)

    • 141 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2016 at 21:01

      Very true. Maybe to worn it’s poisonous? But I’m not sure why it would worn. Maybe it’s a lady in disguise! That’s a possibility, you must admit. The green one?! How can you say that? You love green and it’s such a vivid green! I’m not purple!!

      *laughs* BUS will hear of this! I’ve given up hunting worms. Too hard.

      • 142 FictionFan February 10, 2016 at 01:30

        Tchah! No lady would wear horizontal stripes! Makes you look fat, see? And lady snakes probably pride themselves on their slinkiness. Urgh! It’s toooo vivid! And it needs some good make-up to cover up those unfortunate spots! Well, no – but don’t worry! We can find some purple dye…

        You can’t give up worm-hunting!! It’s part of your glory!

      • 143 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2016 at 13:52

        It does…? I’ve never thought on it. What’s wrong with looking fat, tho? Unless you want to look thin. See, ladies care too much about these sorts of things. But…but…but…don’t I hate purple?!

        I know. But you said I shouldn’t do it.

      • 144 FictionFan February 10, 2016 at 18:09

        It does! It’s an optical illusion – vertical stripes make you look thin. Yeah, that’s right, Mr Build-the-Biceps-Body-Beautiful!! Women are sooooo vain!!! *sighs patiently* You did hate purple, till I explained to you how wonderful it was. Now it’s your favorite color… remember? *takes the little ‘u’s for a trip to Disneyland*

        I did not!!! You must be mistaking me for someone else – and it better not be Clara!!!!

      • 145 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:37

        I think you made this up, the sudden. Now, now. This professor works out to gain strength. It has nothing to do with the appearance, of course. The more in shape, the stronger. That’s the theory, see. Women are vain! I think Carly Simon wrote a song about that… They get to go to Disney and I don’t?!

        *laughs* I’m putting words in your mouth, of course.

      • 146 FictionFan February 11, 2016 at 16:36

        Did not! Get yourself a horizontally striped t-shirt and try it – bet you’ll look like Fats Henry! Uh-huh! I totally believe you! *sceptical eyebrow* *laughs* Carly Simon’s song was about how vain men are! I win!! Yo don’t deserve it…

        Then say “Chocolate!”

      • 147 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 14:30

        Oh no. Striped shirts are awful. It makes one look like…a circus. *nods* Yes, a circus of stripes. You don’t know that for sure! For all we know, CS was singing about a woman!!

        Cherries!

      • 148 FictionFan February 12, 2016 at 18:19

        Oh, vertical stripes are OK, so long as they’re discreet! Doesn’t your purple shirt have stripes? Apparently the song is about Warren Beatty… *chuckles*

        Tchah!

      • 149 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 21:04

        Tell me: there has to be a difference between wine colored and purple…isn’t there? *prepares to get rid of wine shirt* Or James Taylor. We don’t really know. Still, I think she was covering up.

      • 150 FictionFan February 13, 2016 at 02:13

        Nooooo!! Don’t get rid of the shirt – it’s lovely! And it’s definitely wine, or possibly burgundy. It just looked a teensy bit purplish the first time I watched the vid… but you’re so anti-purplist! We must change that…

        Maybe it was you… *narrows eyes*

      • 151 Professor VJ Duke February 15, 2016 at 15:18

        Hmm…you’re just saying that now! But it’s probably how the video was colored, really. That’s definitely what it is. I bet you can’t change it!

        No! I’d never go out with CS! #Yucketh

  20. 152 PorterGirl February 9, 2016 at 15:08

    I had a read about that chap at the end there – what a legend! I hope I look as good as him when I am that old. I quite like snakes, you know, they are brightly coloured and eat things all in one go. And hanging out in a circle is cool. Terry kind of does that – maybe he is a furry snake.

    • 153 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2016 at 21:00

      *laughs* No way! He looks awesome. A shower and a jacket and tie…and he’s as good as new. You’re right. When they’re hungry down it goes. It doesn’t really matter if it fits or not.

      • 154 PorterGirl February 9, 2016 at 21:30

        He could be quite the dashing fellow indeed! I like his little face.
        It is a technique I envy, in truth.

      • 155 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2016 at 13:45

        Yes, me too. It’s official. I know envy snakes lots.


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