A Bargain For Freedom

Is it possible to say the same thing two different ways?

V. Shnodgrate, Renowned PL Poet

UntitledThis professor, you should know, woke up to a cold start.

Well, it was a cold start to the waking up, I mean.

See, someone–a very mean someone, too–splashed cold water on me.

It was mean. It was vile. It was…probably what I might have done. Maybe.

This looks cold, doesn't it? *shivers*

This looks cold, doesn’t it? *shivers*

“Well, well, well,” a voice rang out.

It was a shrill voice. A sharp voice one, too.

I looked about wildly; didn’t do much good. My eyes were still a bit blurry; very frustrating. The professor gave up; I was vexed.

“Well, aren’t you going to say anything?”

Then things came into focus.

The professor was in King Arthur’s castle, having speaks with Arthur himself. I know that sounds impressive, but I didn’t mean it that way. Nothing about the whole thingy was impressive or neatio.

I was sorta kneeling on the ground, before Arthur’s throne, between the two mean guards who had chased me. Standing off to the right of the throne was the lady I’d sorta banged into while I was playing Dodge.

She was an interesting looking beast. Her hair was pulled back by a scarf, and she was wearing wooden shoes. There was also a big–and I mean huge–black, blue, purple, black, and blue mark on her cheek.

That must’ve hurt.

The castle was damp and cool inside. And the stones seemed dirty.

Yes, definitely not impressive.

Something like it, see.

Something like it, see.

“So, hey,” this professor said, finally breaking the silence. “I will say something just because you asked.”

“Things are not going your way, my esoteric man,” Arthur said, quite pleased with himself.

I changed things a second later.

“That doesn’t make much sense, you know. I think you may have the wrong word there.”

The professor was trying to be nice.

“Shut-up!” the king yelled, jumping up on his throne.

See, Arthur is a little fellow. Probably littler than you’re thinking possible at the minute. In truth, this is true: If it wasn’t for his short golden beard and long golden hair (I still say it’s a wig), King Arthur might indeed look like a child, see.

But he’s said to be strong.

“Now look here!” Arthur warned, rage contorting his face. “You ran from my guards, that’s a penalty; you assaulted this woman”–he pointed at the woman, who I realized was glaring at me maliciously–“that’s a penalty; and you’ve broken this!”

And with that, he pointed towards my backpack–I hadn’t noticed it missing–which was laying on a yonder table. Also on the table, in its two-piece glory, was the katana.

“You stole the Jeweled Katana,” he said, “and destroyed it beyond recognition.”

Arthur sat back on his throne with a thud.

Thud. (That’s what it sounded like.)

“Not at all,” this professor answered. “I still recognize it, I’m proud to announce.”

One of the guards sorta hit me there.

“Be nice to the king, man!”

“Listen, PVJ,” Arthur said. “We have rules in this kingdom and you’ve broke a lot of them. Give me the Jeweled Katana”

dadblameit“and you’re free to go.”

Humdinger.

PL Symbol

 

 

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106 Responses to “A Bargain For Freedom”


  1. 1 Ms. Vee February 16, 2016 at 22:39

    That’s just mean! I like what you did in Punchy Land Professor!😃

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2016 at 15:04

      Aren’t I a beast?

      • 3 Ms. Vee February 18, 2016 at 19:47

        Yes you are LOL!!!

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke February 19, 2016 at 14:35

        I wish I was a bear, you know.

      • 5 Ms. Vee February 19, 2016 at 14:38

        Me too. I can’t tolerate this frigid weather.🐨

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke February 19, 2016 at 14:40

        I know! It’s supposed to be 61 tomorrow!!

      • 7 Ms. Vee February 19, 2016 at 14:42

        Yes…unbelievable! Then it’s going to get cold next week.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke February 22, 2016 at 14:25

        But not as cold…I’ve heard.

      • 9 Ms. Vee February 22, 2016 at 14:45

        We shall see. I hope not.

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2016 at 13:37

        I need spring, Ms. Vee!

      • 11 Ms. Vee February 23, 2016 at 13:50

        Me too! It was a nice day yesterday, raining today!!!!

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2016 at 13:51

        Rain is coming here too. Blah.

      • 13 Ms. Vee February 23, 2016 at 13:53

        We need the rain for the spring flowers!!!

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2016 at 14:18

        But we don’t need flowers, see.

      • 15 Ms. Vee February 24, 2016 at 14:22

        Yes we do. We need everything that adds beauty to our world.🌺🌻🌸🌹

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2016 at 14:32

        Like the professor, for instance.

      • 17 Ms. Vee February 24, 2016 at 14:34

        Precisely! 😄

  2. 18 Jackie February 13, 2016 at 13:31

    Yes – it is possible to say the same thing two different ways.

    • 19 Professor VJ Duke February 15, 2016 at 15:20

      *mouth drops* Really? Cool.

      • 20 Jackie February 15, 2016 at 15:32

        Yep!

      • 21 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2016 at 14:08

        I…I…don’t believe it!

      • 22 Jackie February 16, 2016 at 18:32

        Well, it’s true! I swear it.

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2016 at 14:57

        Swear by what? *professorish eye*

      • 24 Jackie February 18, 2016 at 14:58

        All that is punchalicious.

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2016 at 15:07

        Haha. Love that word.

      • 26 Jackie February 18, 2016 at 18:16

        Me too!!

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke February 19, 2016 at 14:35

        *bows*

  3. 28 John W. Howell February 11, 2016 at 00:28

    Hmm Free to go? Just like that?

    • 29 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:44

      There has to be a catch, huh?

      • 30 John W. Howell February 11, 2016 at 23:02

        Seems like it.

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 14:39

        I hate catches. Unless a NE Pat does one.

  4. 32 Simply Skeptical February 10, 2016 at 20:42

    I’d smash him. Just who does he think he is talking to? And giving you a freezing shower and making such demands. Doesn’t he realize who he is talking to? Professor set him straight and hurry please. Obnoxious little beef pattie…

    • 33 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:43

      Haha. I love this answer. Yes, yes! quite right. I’m the professor after all. To war!

  5. 34 bardictale February 10, 2016 at 17:25

    The answer to the poet’s question is yes. I do hope someone is coming for you!

    • 35 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:35

      Are you on the way?

      • 36 bardictale February 11, 2016 at 14:38

        Well, that depends, really.

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:45

        On what? Humdinger.

      • 38 bardictale February 11, 2016 at 14:53

        On the state of my horse. He’s tired, as we’ve been chasing after you for a while now, professor.

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 14:22

        Can you get a corvette maybe?

      • 40 bardictale February 12, 2016 at 14:37

        A bit expensive, I’m afraid.

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 14:41

        I’ll send you one, then?

      • 42 bardictale February 14, 2016 at 07:48

        Sure. But wouldn’t it be a better idea to use it yourself?

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke February 15, 2016 at 15:22

        Oh. But don’t you want it?

      • 44 bardictale February 15, 2016 at 18:05

        Well, I’ve never thought about it, see.

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke February 16, 2016 at 14:11

        Well, I’m thinking you should, double-see. What color would you want?

      • 46 bardictale February 16, 2016 at 16:51

        Hmm. Perhaps orange?

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2016 at 14:54

        Perfect choice! I always like red, of course.

      • 48 bardictale February 18, 2016 at 19:50

        Red, like cherry, or red like an apple?

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke February 19, 2016 at 14:37

        Oh apples are green!

      • 50 bardictale February 20, 2016 at 16:53

        Also yellow.

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke February 22, 2016 at 14:39

        And orange.

      • 52 bardictale February 22, 2016 at 17:38

        Pink!

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2016 at 13:44

        No!!

      • 54 bardictale February 23, 2016 at 13:46

        …no?

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke February 23, 2016 at 13:49

        There’s no pink apples…is there?

      • 56 bardictale February 23, 2016 at 18:53

        There are! Pink Ladies!

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2016 at 14:28

        Bard is making things up!

      • 58 bardictale February 24, 2016 at 17:00

        *pouts* Am not.

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2016 at 14:34

        *laughs* It’s funny when you pout.

      • 60 bardictale February 25, 2016 at 20:59

        Why? *tilts head*

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2016 at 23:43

        Oh, I can’t say! It’s against the code.

      • 62 bardictale February 26, 2016 at 09:56

        Which one?

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2016 at 14:27

        Professorish one?

      • 64 bardictale February 27, 2016 at 17:36

        *takes the professor’s hat and leaves*

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke February 29, 2016 at 13:50

        But…why? *Chases bard*

      • 66 bardictale February 29, 2016 at 17:35

        Why not? *crosses the river*

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke March 1, 2016 at 02:04

        I shall tackle you!!

      • 68 bardictale March 1, 2016 at 10:32

        *sticks out tongue* no you won’t!

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2016 at 19:11

        I shall dive and dive until I do! *dives*

      • 70 bardictale March 3, 2016 at 18:31

        *skips, watches in glee when the professor falls into the lake* Good luck then. My ride is here.

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2016 at 15:25

        Don’t leave me!

      • 72 bardictale March 5, 2016 at 17:56

        Now, why not?

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2016 at 20:45

        Well. Because it’s not fair?

      • 74 bardictale March 7, 2016 at 21:00

        I’m not convinced. Will I get tea and cookies?

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2016 at 14:21

        Yes…an maybe some leather gloves?

      • 76 bardictale March 9, 2016 at 16:27

        All right then!

  6. 77 Angeline M February 10, 2016 at 17:15

    I’ve been gone awhile I’ll admit, so what has happened to you, PVJ, assaulting people? Oh, my!

    • 78 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:35

      Well, she was in the way…what else could I do, see?

  7. 79 walt walker February 10, 2016 at 16:57

    I thought the same as you did, even before you said it. Clearly it was not destroyed beyond recognition, as at least two people were able to recognize it.

    • 80 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:34

      Quite right. Isn’t everyone overreacting here?

  8. 81 Debbie February 10, 2016 at 16:47

    Okay, sir, now you’ve done it. The poor king has every right to order you locked up for your offenses — theft (of the jeweled katana), assault (of the wooden-shoe gal), fleeing the guards, and insolence in the presence of the king. Why, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if he tossed you into the dungeon *shudders* Say, maybe one of those creepy snakes from yesterday hitched a ride in your backpack and you can make your escape while they’re looking over the poor beast??!

    • 82 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:34

      Wouldn’t that be cool! An army of snakes at my disposal waiting to attack. Nice. But I didn’t assault her! I banged into her. Surely you’ve banged into people without assaulting them? Isn’t that possible? Dadblameit.

  9. 83 desertdweller29 February 10, 2016 at 15:49

    Well, did you?

    I say run. You’re bullet proof. But first apologize to the lady for her having to wear wooden shoes. It would make anyone clumsy. Unless she was Dutch, of course. Then the blame falls upon you, good sir.

    • 84 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:33

      I think she looks great in wooden shoes. Besides, she’ll kill me if I say she should change her shoes up, don’t you know? Did I what?

      • 85 desertdweller29 February 11, 2016 at 15:26

        Did you give him the katana? …Oh, I see now. You were bamboozled and gobboozled by the girl with the wooden shoes! It was cupid’s arrow!

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 14:23

        Now, now, as much as all the ladies want this professor to fall in love…it just can’t happen. I’m heartless, see. Can a heartless person fall in love? Not a chance, double-see.

      • 87 desertdweller29 February 12, 2016 at 17:18

        Haha! But you need to give hope to the other heartless souls out there, PVJ. Maybe you just misplaced the darstardly thing… Try the seat cushions. *sigh, sigh, sigh* Okay… I must admit, I do like to see the professor remain heartless. Do you know I’ve NEVER EVER watched a soap opera in my life? It’s true. I was afraid I’d retch. So carry on with your heartless ways, dear sir. Women love illusive things… *double sigh*

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 20:57

        *laughs* See? Deep down in you’re just like me! Love and all that is for the people that have hearts. Wait. Did you just admit to being heartless?! *big professor eyes*

      • 89 desertdweller29 February 12, 2016 at 22:14

        Heartless? No. Wicked? Yes! Muhoo-haaa. I mean…. hahaha haha.

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke February 15, 2016 at 15:11

        Not heartless? *cranky* I like the muhoo part. Sounds Spanish almost.

  10. 91 L. Marie February 10, 2016 at 14:39

    At this point, a throwing knife would come in handy. Just sayin’.

    • 92 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:32

      Can I thieve yours?

      • 93 L. Marie February 11, 2016 at 16:53

        You could try, but I’m fairly handy with a throwing knife. :-)

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 14:36

        *gulps* Goodness. I shan’t take yours then…what a thingy!

  11. 95 FictionFan February 10, 2016 at 14:35

    What kind of awful person could be so mean as to throw ice cold water over the Professor?!? *whistles innocently*

    You know… well, you know I’m always on your side whatever, don’t you? But… and it grieves me more than you will ever know to say this… but King Arthur does seem to have a teensy-weensy little point, you know, you know. I mean, you did run away, and you did bruise that poor woman, and you DID steal the katana and then break it. But I’m sure you have some good explanation for your dadblamed outrageous behaviour… *uncertain face*

    I also can’t help but notice that as soon as a woman appears you become so obsessed with how she looks, you forget everything else, Mr Flirtiness – even your little wound. *glares*

    • 96 L. Marie February 10, 2016 at 14:39

      “I also can’t help but notice that as soon as a woman appears you become so obsessed with how she looks”–Ha ha! I was thinking the same thing.

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:32

        No you weren’t, no you weren’t!

    • 98 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2016 at 14:32

      Hmm. This is a good question. I bet you might! Nah, you wouldn’t do that. *glares about*

      Well, yes, see, I stole the sword, but why does Art care, see? And I didn’t mean to hit the woman; she was in the way. Am I guilt free, the sudden? You know I am. *smiles proudly* I’ll take revenge, of course. Cause that’s what spicy professors do.

      Oh, I was just describing her for your benefit, really. Also, didn’t I describe Art? I’m fair, see.

      • 99 FictionFan February 11, 2016 at 16:32

        Of course I would….n’t! *sweetly innocent face*

        Oh, Kings always want to steal everything, even things that have already been stolen! But that’s no excuse for you, commoner! No, you most certainly are not, sir!! That poor woman! I hope she hits you over the head with her wooden shoes!! *nods* Professor Paprika…

        Hmm… *narrows eyes* A likely story! Interestingly – and you may be shocked by this – Art does not sound cute! See? I am picky after all!

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 14:30

        Oh you would! You’re just like a Trojan!

        The professor is not a commoner! I’m the professor, don’t you see. I can’t believe you’re feeling sorry for her. If she was anything smart, she would’ve dodged me. Then all would’ve been well. This professor would’ve escaped…but wait. Now’s she got a bruise on the side of her face. It’s something to brag about, see.

        Hahahehe. Really? But I didn’t describe her as cute either!

      • 101 FictionFan February 12, 2016 at 17:39

        I’m baffled – weren’t the Trojans the good guys, then?

        You are! And worse – a colonial commoner! No wonder Art treats you the way he does! Don’t try to justify your outrageously ungentlemanly behaviour to me, sir! You’re just trying to disguise your guilt… it won’t work!

        You don’t care whether girls are cute or not – you’ll flirt with anybody!

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2016 at 21:01

        Well…according to me they were! They were more rowdy, see. They’d do something like that, double-see.

        Haha. A colonial commoner. I feel insulted for some reason. But then again…can I be a colonel colonial commoner? I think that’s a fair trade right there. But…I’m not a gentleman!

        Bah…. *bangs head* I do not!!

      • 103 FictionFan February 13, 2016 at 02:08

        Ah, I see! It was compliment then! I was assuming it was an insult! *preens*

        *laughs* You can be a coldhearted colonial commoner colonel with a collander! If you’re a colonel you must be a gentleman – it’s the rules!!

        *nods vehemently*

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke February 15, 2016 at 15:16

        It was a great compliment! Greater than…the cosmos!

        But I break rules, don’t you know, all the time. Do gentlemen have to wear ties? What’s a colander?

      • 105 FictionFan February 16, 2016 at 18:39

        Cosmic compliments! Gosh! I like that – I feel like a star!!

        Then you can’t be a colonel – sorry! You can still be a collander though. Hmm… intriguing question. No, not when they’re wearing a kilt…

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke February 18, 2016 at 14:59

        A yellow or orange star, probably.

        I can be, mind your manners! And I am, the sudden. *nods* Kilts are girly things. Real men don’t wear them.


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