No pain, no gain. Unless you’re eating loads of ice cream. Then there’s lots of gain and no pain.
V. Shnodgrate, Renowned PL Poet
That’s the key.
You just have to be like, “Yo, hey, yep-yep.” (That’s just an example of something to say. I really probably wouldn’t say that, notice.)
Anyways and sums, this professor was being followed.
And that’s why the professor did what everyone should do when being followed.
I spun around, hands on hips, and waited for them.
They were shocked–there were two of them, see. I could tell by how they stopped abruptly before starting back up again.
Eventually, they stopped within two feet of me.
That was close; the professor was feeling claustrophobic, the sudden.
“Hey,” Salami said. “We heard ya escaped Fat Man Island. And me boss wants ya back, turtle-cur!”
“Yeah,” Ruber put in. “Who do you think you are trying to escape, huh?”
“Oh them,” Ruber said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “They got away. But who cares, eh?”
Salami turned and looked at Ruber. “Cur!” he said, with a hit to his shoulder. “We care!”
Ruber just chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Whatevah.”
“So what do you two chaps want?” I asked.
“You know what,” Salami said, his green eyes flashing. “We want the katana ya stole, cur-face.”
Aha! This was working superbly. A plan was brewing in my professorish mind, see. It was a great plan, double-see. It was a plan to get the katana back, triple-see.
“I don’t have it,” I answered.
“What?!” Salami’s mouth fell open like a trout dropping from a waterfall.
“Can you believe this guy?” Ruber said.
It was more of a statement. I don’t think he really cared about the whole thing. My guess, Fats Henry hired Daddy Salami as a henchman. Salami brought Ruber aboard for extra help. That was my professorish guess, see.
“Well, where is it?” Salami asked in a low, raspy voice. “Give it here, cur!”
“Here’s the thing, King Arthur has it.”
“Hehaha,” Salami laughed. “Arty…does he, does he? We’re gonna steal it from him. And you’re gonna help!”
“When are we going to do this?” Ruber asked. “I’m sorta famished at the moment.”
“Tonight,” Salami replied.
It was mission time.