Causing Trouble is Fun

professor speaks

“I’m so mean. And dirty. Very dirty. Filthy, even.”

“You always say that; I don’t believe it.”

“Why not?”

“Prove it.”

“How?”

Nick Warren paused for one to three moments, leaned forward a bit, then said, in a low voice I’m sure the big rotten wolf adopts to scare the little piggies, “See that table over there? Join them. Just walk up and sit down.”

Now, this professor must get a few things out-of-the-way. First, the professor is not a little piggy. I could see where you might think that ’cause of the words above and whatnot. If you were thinking it, please cut it out of your brain, the sudden.

Use this, if you must.

Use this, if you must.

Next, the professor and Nick were in a restaurant, and the room Nick had pointed out was a private room within the restaurant.

You know, the rooms that big parties go to just so people won’t go and bother them. The doors were shut, but everyone could see through the glass. Not sure what the net gain was there.

It didn't look like this. I just threw this in here, 'cause I think it's a funny picture.

It didn’t look like this. I just threw this in here, ’cause I think it’s a funny picture. By the way, for those of you who care about such things, Brett Herbert dined in that room.

Anyways and some…

“Well?” Nick pressed.

“It’s a private party in there.”

“I know.”

“Full of old women.”

“I know.”

“They’re the meanest.”

“Oh don’t I know.”

“Okay, I’ll do it. Dadblameit.”

“Really?” Nick was surprised.

“Yeah,” I said, “this professor is a filthy warrior, and I’ll prove it.”

So, two short ticks later, the professor was at the door.

Now, here’s the key: When about to do something, always look confident. Confidence is worth five more than you think it is.

I swung the door open.

The ladies looked up. There was about six or so of them.

“Can we help you?” one lady with red hair said.

It was dyed, I’m thinking, mind.

I closed the door and stepped into the room.

“Not at all,” I said, adopting the tone of the big rotten wolf. “I’m just going back and forth throughout the earth is all.”

Another of the women–obviously the leader of the group–said: “This is a private book club. For women. No men are allowed in.”

“That’s something,” the professor said, pulling a chair out and sitting next to her. “How do you suppose I got in, then? Nice earrings, btw.”

She liked that. But the earrings were ugly. I lied. I do that every other day, you know.

“Did Nancy invite you?” a tall skinny woman said. “Did she?! We explicitly told her no men!”

“How explicitly did you tell her?” I asked.

That got her.

“Humph! We’ll see what Nancy says when she gets here! I, for one, don’t believe you! We’ll see what Nancy says!”

“I hope it’s not explicit again,” I said.

And I shouldn’t have. I was being mean. It’s all Nick’s fault, see. Such a bad influence, he is.

Then I did the clincher: “I’m actually her nephew, twice removed from where I should be.”

That got them. I’d won at the point. The professor wasn’t leaving, and they weren’t going to make me.

The red-haired lady took up the conversation:

“So…” she said, searching for something. “What’s your favorite novel?”

“The shortest one on table,” I replied.

And that’s when Nancy walked in. There was an air of disapproval about her. I was terrified, of course.

#ProfessorKids

“We were being entertained by your nephew,” the lady with the ugly earrings said.

“My nephew?” Nancy looked about the room like a naked mole rat.

Naked Mole Rat

Naked Mole Rat

Then she spotted me. “He’s not mine! I won’t take credit for that!”

“I left the water on!” I shouted. Not the best line, but I was thinking fastly fast.

And I bolted.

“Won.”

“Nah,” Nick said. “You didn’t stay in there long enough.”

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237 Responses to “Causing Trouble is Fun”


  1. 1 Sonya Solomonovich March 31, 2016 at 15:34

    “I’m just going back and forth throughout the earth” is a good line. I should adopt that as my motto! Also seems like a smooth way to diffuse a tense situation.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2016 at 14:53

      Oh it’s quite good, isn’t it? Such a wicked line, too. You should!

  2. 3 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 22, 2016 at 15:01

    Those woman should really discuss their books in the privacy of their homes. Nobody wants to listen to them yammer on or act as though they actually read the book. Sigh.
    You weren’t nice enough to the old redheaded one, Duke. I think you may have been in there long enough but long enough to win.

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2016 at 13:47

      *laughing lots* I love how you put that. But look at you! Being a little cranky with them, I see!

      But I thought I was spicy nice?

      • 5 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 24, 2016 at 04:51

        *giggles more* Thank you, Sir. Tis true, I am cranky over them. Act all knowing and stuff, as if I’m not. You’re always spicy. Tis a good thing.

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2016 at 13:55

        You should join their club and yell at them. I was tempted to do it.

      • 7 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 28, 2016 at 04:26

        *sigh* I fear I’ve run out of time for clubs. I have a new job and it’s hours are brutal.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2016 at 14:18

        Are you still teaching?

      • 9 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 30, 2016 at 02:39

        No, I am not…not for now. In a few years time I hope to be directing my own church early childhood intervention program. I’ve been hired on as small group coordinator and research assistant, and so much more, for the church I grew up in. What do you think of that, Sir? Will you come visit now? *laughs*

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2016 at 13:15

        That’s awesome!!! Are you happy to be back? That must be so cool.

      • 11 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 31, 2016 at 01:03

        I’m happy to be near my family. They’ve been great support through this long process.

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2016 at 14:52

        Family is awesome. And so underrated at times.

  3. 13 progbeawr831 March 16, 2016 at 05:47

    I’m cranky, stubborn, wearing a German Wehrmacht helmet and why is there a naked mole rat in my kitchen?!?!?!!? It should be in the library reading up on Tolstoy and how to perfect zee German Krautrock scene with the help of Marxist Walmart people who wear …. OMIGOD PURPLE COWS ARE FALLING FROM THE SKY! PROFESSOR VJ DUKE WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO MY BACKYARD…. AGAIN! YOU FIENDISH BASTARD! I LOVE YOU AND YOUR WILEY WAYS WITH …. wait weren’t we supposed to go out for burritos?!

    • 14 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2016 at 03:01

      *laughs* Professor VJ Duke, you handsome bastard. That’s what they tell me, you know. Over and over. I don’t believe it, tho. Oh yes. Burritos again? I’m more interested in hearing about the purple cows. How’s their milk, my man?

      • 15 progbeawr831 March 17, 2016 at 03:12

        It’s Yummy and tastes like pumpkins dipped in chocolate. rolled in coconut with sprinkles!

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2016 at 14:27

        Ooooo….that would taste great. Give me three, please.

      • 17 progbeawr831 March 18, 2016 at 16:53

        SOLD! To someone who lives I know not where! But Do I Dare? To ask with care? Yes we can share! I’m losing hair, but I don’t care but rather I dare to snare a question to thee…….. Which way did he go George, which way did he go?

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke March 22, 2016 at 14:29

        *laughs* The professor lives south of where you think he does, and east of what you know. I think that’s about right. Okay, now. I do love the rhyming, mind.

  4. 19 Haylee March 15, 2016 at 22:32

    I think this should be a regular weekend activity! My boss tells me she does this all the time – she swaggers in, full of confidence, flashes a smile around and generally leaves with a goody bag. Or some free food at least!
    I’d have let you stay, providing you were polite. I do tend to attract randomites on evenings out, makes things more interesting!

    • 20 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2016 at 03:00

      No way! See? Confidence pays in goodies. We must learn, Haylee, and learn fast. I want goodies, don’t you?

      *laughs* What do you do to the randomites?

      • 21 Haylee March 17, 2016 at 07:55

        I do need to learn. I couldn’t pull it off yet – absolutely no poker face, I’d be rumbled instantly.
        Haha, I’m not sure I do anything TO randomites. That makes me sound like I’m prodding and poking for scientific experimentation! Interaction is always proportionate to interest.

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2016 at 14:28

        *laughs* I see now. Well, at least I think I do. You lure the randomites to you!

  5. 23 John W. Howell March 15, 2016 at 21:48

    Aw come on Nick. It was forever.

    • 24 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2016 at 02:59

      Wasn’t it? Go get him, John.

      • 25 John W. Howell March 17, 2016 at 13:38

        Yeah. Put em up Nick.

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2016 at 14:31

        I’ll bet on this one.

      • 27 John W. Howell March 18, 2016 at 18:54

        You got Nick or me?

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke March 22, 2016 at 14:30

        No, no. You must go get him, please.

      • 29 John W. Howell March 22, 2016 at 17:09

        Okay.

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2016 at 14:00

        Be vicious. Be quick. Fear nothing.

      • 31 John W. Howell March 24, 2016 at 00:28

        Huh? Wait what?

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2016 at 13:53

        Fetch him out, I mean.

      • 33 John W. Howell March 25, 2016 at 02:00

        Hmmm. Is it safe.

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2016 at 18:39

        Semi, I’d say.

      • 35 John W. Howell March 25, 2016 at 19:36

        Semi safe is not safe. Could say semi not safe.

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2016 at 14:06

        Haha. You’re right, the sudden. Stop being so logical, rats.

      • 37 John W. Howell March 28, 2016 at 18:31

        Just semi logical

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke March 29, 2016 at 12:58

        Sounds professorish. IT’s good for the mind.

      • 39 John W. Howell March 29, 2016 at 13:18

        The mind is a horrible thing to waste.

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2016 at 13:00

        I think you could be right. Well, some minds aren’t.

      • 41 John W. Howell March 30, 2016 at 13:22

        Maybe a mind wasting machine ought to be built.

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2016 at 14:47

        With tubes and such.

      • 43 John W. Howell April 2, 2016 at 00:40

        Something that sucks rather than blows. *chortle*

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2016 at 20:45

        Hahaha. That’s good. I like it.

      • 45 John W. Howell April 3, 2016 at 22:21

        :-)

  6. 46 Heartafire March 15, 2016 at 18:38

    When I am a little old lady I will wear purple hats and carry Gucci bags, dye my hair even redder than it is today and be chair person of the book club, we will begin with Lady Chatterly and go from there. I will allow men to be members of this book club (that’s what I like to call it).

    • 47 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2016 at 02:59

      *laughing* Red hair is pretty awesome, ’cause it’s the best color. But you should dye it blue when you dye, I say. That might be interesting. Don’t you suppose?

      • 48 Heartafire March 17, 2016 at 12:53

        laughs! blue hair…no, cause I’m never getting old see. It’s all in the mind.

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2016 at 14:30

        That’s the spirit! The professor is 88, and I’m still young.

      • 50 Heartafire March 18, 2016 at 15:47

        and holding up really well!

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke March 22, 2016 at 14:28

        At least we think so!

      • 52 Heartafire March 22, 2016 at 14:32

        :)

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke March 22, 2016 at 14:37

        ==[:-)+

      • 54 Heartafire March 22, 2016 at 14:41

        oooh, what are you trying to tell me?

      • 55 Heartafire March 22, 2016 at 14:41

        do you need help…is this a cry out?

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2016 at 13:44

        *laughing* I shaved my beard! If I ever had one.

      • 57 Heartafire March 23, 2016 at 13:56

        Oh! Perhaps you gave up on it too soon.

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2016 at 14:07

        I think I maybe have. Now what?

      • 59 Heartafire March 23, 2016 at 14:11

        try try again!

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2016 at 13:42

        Keep on sucking until you do succeed.

      • 61 Heartafire March 24, 2016 at 13:57

        That’s my motto…get on it!

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2016 at 18:25

        I’m just so lazy, the sudden.

      • 63 Heartafire March 25, 2016 at 20:00

        Spring fever. Go with it.

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2016 at 14:07

        I def have spring fever.

  7. 65 Simply Skeptical March 15, 2016 at 17:33

    Old ladies and naked mole rats I do, shameful to say, see a resemblance both in style & attitude. LOL

    • 66 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2016 at 02:58

      *laughing* Goodness me! You just ripped…and ripped bad, madam!

  8. 67 desertdweller29 March 15, 2016 at 15:43

    I think that naked mole rate ate something indigestible. Perhaps it was a fresh batch of ugly earrings? I agree with FF, btw… Thank goodness only young, beautiful women visit this blog, otherwise I’d leave in a huff! (or a harumph, but I can’t be sure… good thing my beauty stopped me.)

    • 68 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2016 at 02:54

      Oh don’t worry, DD, you’re not old. At least, not like these ladies. They were genuine pears, I tell you. Now, do you huff, too?

      • 69 desertdweller29 March 17, 2016 at 18:34

        Nah, I don’t huff. I was just trying it on for the moment. How’d I do? Did you believe it? *laughing*

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2016 at 14:38

        *laughs* It was very believable. Yes, yes. But of course, you didn’t fool the professor too much, you know.

  9. 71 Lady Dunamis March 15, 2016 at 15:26

    Nick beat you. You’re gonna have to get over it.

    You lie every other day. That must be exhausting.

    And you are a filthy warrior?! Funny thing that is. As much as warriors get dirt, because fighting to the death is never a hygienic sport, I never thought them as filthy. This deeply disturbs me. Maybe. Not that much. I think Donald Trump would be disappointed with such language. When I tell him, just know it’s gonna be HUGE!

    😝

    • 72 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2016 at 02:54

      Wait. What?! You can’t be serious!!

      Oh no, it’s exhausting telling the truth. Tomorrow is lie day. *sigh of relief*

      *laughing* DT! He’s such a funny speaker, you know. But I bet he doesn’t shower at all. You can tell. Otherwise, his hair would wash away. Oh yes, Hector was filthy, you know.

  10. 73 Debbie March 15, 2016 at 15:24

    Wait…Nick can’t set parameters after you’ve accepted and accomplished the dare!! Which you did, by the way. Although I imagine those old ladies actually loved having a warrior professor in their midst!!

    I so feel sorry for NMR — is that a real creature, or have you Photoshopped his picture? I mean, can you imagine looking like that and seeing yourself in a mirror? Yikes!!

    • 74 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2016 at 02:53

      Oh, what a thing. Nick cheated. So I did win! Can I put this down as a win, then, would you say? *laughs* Oh no, I bet they hate me, Debbie!

      Well, Debbie, that poor bloke is blind. And I didn’t do anything to it. He lives underground, just cause we would laugh, see.

  11. 75 FictionFan March 15, 2016 at 14:44

    If… and note I say IF… there happened to be any old ladies visiting your blog they might be so offended by this that they would squidge you like a naked mole rat beneath an avalanche of Ms Austen’s finest works! They may find an alternative use for that axe! They might even pierce the Professorial ears and force him to wear the ugly earrings!!! Thank goodness all your female visitors are nearly as young and gorgeous as me… *sighs with relief*

    Do you see Mr Warren as blue, then? I always picture him more as yellow – like the golden sun, or possibly a plate of custard…

    I reckon Nick won – you didn’t even steal a bit of cake…

    • 76 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2016 at 02:52

      Squidge! Haha. Everthing you were saying…I lost it as soon as you said that! Haha. I love that word. It’s so unique. And it makes a weird sounds when you utter, you know. Go ahead and try, you’ll see! Hmm…of course FEF isn’t old! These things were practically as old as a pear. Hmm…how don’t you know I have an earring?

      You know, dadblameit, you’re right. He should’ve been yellow. Can’t believe I’m purple.

      There was none, tho.

      • 77 FictionFan March 17, 2016 at 17:25

        It’s a lovely word! Onomatopoeic! Of course I’m not – who said I was? Hmm? *stares at the Professor* You may have soon…

        Purple suits you, though!

        They probably hid it when they saw you coming…

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2016 at 14:35

        Onomatopoeic! Wow. These words have shut down my mind, you know. A long, long, long one. With a red point or something.

        Humph noodles!

        Which isn’t fair, of course.

      • 79 FictionFan March 19, 2016 at 00:28

        Oh, dear – the Professorial mind is such a delicate instrument! That would be… lovely!

        Old women are wily, you know, you know…

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke March 22, 2016 at 14:32

        *laughs* It is sorta delicate. I think I’m going on a long vacation, the sudden. To Bermuda. Like Merlin. That’s where he went.

        All women are!

      • 81 FictionFan March 22, 2016 at 15:40

        Oh, you’re always on vacation! Be careful you don’t get lost in the Bermuda Triangle! Will you be wearing Bermuda shorts? *speculative eye*

        True! Very true!

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2016 at 13:59

        Depends what they look like! You should come with me. And we can see…a movie. But I can’t think of any at the moment.

        Save me from them, FEF!

      • 83 FictionFan March 23, 2016 at 18:03

        On you, they’d look adorable, I’m (almost) sure! *nods* Ooh, yes, that’d be fun. How about A Few Good Men? Or Psycho?? Or… I know… Enchanted!!!! *sings*

        I fear you may be beyond salvation, Mr Flirtatious! *shakes head sadly*

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2016 at 13:49

        Hmm… Just googled. Not sure. They’re kinda odd looking. No, no…how about the new Jungle Book? Or…Kung Fu Panda 3!

        I…I…am actually quite better at the whole thing than you might think.

      • 85 FictionFan March 24, 2016 at 17:32

        *laughs* Not terribly Alice-y, are they? Is there a new Jungle Book? Cartoon? I bet you starred in Kung Fu Panda…

        Tchah! I think you’re very good at flirting, Mr Incorrigible – too good!! *stomps off*

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2016 at 18:33

        Nah. They’re kinda…frumpish. Don’t you think? Oh, no, it’s not a cartoon this time! It looks super cool. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OD3CLzPER34 Me? Haha, nah. I was taking off.

        No, no! Good at taking care of girls. *nods*

      • 87 FictionFan March 25, 2016 at 23:24

        Frumpish is such a lovely word! I bet Clara’s frumpish. Ooh, it looks quite scary! I wonder what Baloo will be like. Taking what off?!

        Hmph! *suspicious glare*

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2016 at 14:10

        Baloo is played by Bill Murray! It looks pretty cool to me. But that tiger chap better not kill Baloo. Bears are stronger than tigers anyway. Shall we go and see it? Oh, just taking a vacation from work, of course.

        Hashtag: Skilled.

      • 89 FictionFan March 29, 2016 at 17:43

        Yes, I think we should! Your cinema or mine? Another one?? *jaw drops*

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2016 at 13:09

        Umm…yours!

  12. 91 walt walker March 15, 2016 at 14:22

    I do feel sorry for that NMR. He doesn’t look well.

    • 92 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2016 at 02:48

      Oh but no, Mr. Walt, that’s what a well one looks like, see.

      • 93 walt walker March 17, 2016 at 03:13

        Then I’d hate to see an unwell one, I must say.

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2016 at 14:27

        They probably look a bit browner when unwell. *nods*

  13. 95 InfiniteZip March 15, 2016 at 14:15

    So, you are clever at taking dares, eh? I would have flashed them your katana…old ladies like big katanas you know.

    • 96 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2016 at 02:48

      But what if blood was on it?

      • 97 InfiniteZip March 17, 2016 at 10:25

        Then they may be even more impressed..and frightened too…all at the same time.

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2016 at 14:30

        Well, that’s all dadblamery, I say. Don’t you agree?

      • 99 InfiniteZip March 18, 2016 at 14:50

        Well yes I agree, the professor is most often right…except quarterbacks of course.

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke March 22, 2016 at 14:28

        You mean the great and awesome Tom Brady?

      • 101 InfiniteZip March 22, 2016 at 19:55

        Well,er, no…I cannot ever utter such words as those…he is a fiend of the most fiendish variety….

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke March 23, 2016 at 14:04

        Which is cool, you must admit.

  14. 103 L. Marie March 15, 2016 at 14:14

    Wow. You should have bet money that you would go in and sit down. I agree that you did what was asked. Conditions should not have been imposed after the fact.

    • 104 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2016 at 02:48

      Yes, yes! Hear, hear. You’re quite right, Linda. I think I still won, now that you say it.

  15. 105 PorterGirl March 15, 2016 at 13:30

    Where did you find that naked picture of me?! It was taken in my youth… I needed the money… but anyway.
    What a beast Nick is for setting up such a wicked ruse. And I definitely think you won as you faced the old ladies full-on. I bet the old ladies loved you, you know. They have very funny tastes.

    • 106 Susan P March 15, 2016 at 14:34

      Little old ladies love sweet little fellows. You have hit the jackpot.

      • 107 PorterGirl March 15, 2016 at 14:37

        I am really looking forward to being a little old lady.

      • 108 Susan P March 15, 2016 at 14:39

        I don’t know as you would enjoy it.

      • 109 PorterGirl March 15, 2016 at 14:53

        I will be a wild little old lady. Then I will enjoy it lots :D

      • 110 Susan P March 15, 2016 at 16:03

        I’m feeling it…

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2016 at 02:55

        Me too.

      • 112 Susan P April 3, 2016 at 00:31

        Lots”?

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2016 at 20:50

        Many lots, my good madam.

      • 114 Susan P April 3, 2016 at 23:54

        And Santa still brings you toys?

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2016 at 15:06

        Well. He says they’re toys. But I doubt it.

      • 116 Susan P April 4, 2016 at 17:07

        The only difference between men and boys is the cost of their toys.

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke April 5, 2016 at 13:46

        *laughs* So true. But what’s the difference between women and girls?

      • 118 Susan P April 5, 2016 at 21:08

        Somewhat the same.

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke April 6, 2016 at 14:22

        I knew it!

      • 120 Susan P April 6, 2016 at 23:04

        Knew what?

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2016 at 16:57

        That women are just girls.

      • 122 Susan P April 7, 2016 at 21:31

        But remember that we have a lot more experience. Truth..

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2016 at 18:47

        Now why is this?

      • 124 Susan P April 9, 2016 at 16:01

        Can’t you guess?

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2016 at 13:48

        I’m such a bad guesser.

      • 126 Susan P April 20, 2016 at 14:13

        What’s that? You are a bad dresser?

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2016 at 13:07

        Oh yes. Sloppy and beastly.

      • 128 Susan P April 21, 2016 at 20:52

        And a beard?

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2016 at 13:31

        A long one.

      • 130 Susan P April 25, 2016 at 14:35

        Like Tree beard?

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2016 at 13:28

        I say, is he your fav character from LOTR?

      • 132 Susan P April 26, 2016 at 13:50

        Sam-wise is my favorite.

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:00

        I like Gollum.

      • 134 Susan P April 27, 2016 at 13:53

        icik

      • 135 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:24

        That’s a cool cuss word.

      • 136 Susan P April 28, 2016 at 13:26

        It is? Who will use it?

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:32

        This professor, please.

      • 138 Susan P April 28, 2016 at 13:26

        I gotta million of them.

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:32

        That many? *blown away*

      • 140 Susan P April 28, 2016 at 13:33

        I’m almost as old as you are. How many did you think I would have?

      • 141 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2016 at 13:42

        Almost. Still, almost is a long way away sometimes, don’t you see. Maybe half that?

      • 142 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2016 at 02:50

        But I’m not a sweet little fellow, am I? *most vicious face to prove it*

      • 143 Susan P April 3, 2016 at 00:32

        I don’t know. You don’t stay still in one place long enough.

      • 144 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2016 at 20:51

        I move quick, huh? Like a snail.

      • 145 Susan P April 3, 2016 at 23:51

        No, that is me, sir. I run like a turtle.

      • 146 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2016 at 15:06

        *laughs* Me too! It’s fun, isn’t it, running like a turtle?

      • 147 Susan P April 4, 2016 at 17:07

        verily it is.

      • 148 Professor VJ Duke April 5, 2016 at 13:46

        Verily is a great word. We should use it all the time.

      • 149 Susan P April 5, 2016 at 21:07

        It gives it a splendid atmosphere.

      • 150 Professor VJ Duke April 6, 2016 at 14:22

        It does. All posh, posh.

      • 151 Susan P April 6, 2016 at 23:05

        Wow. Well, you must be a busy professor.

      • 152 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2016 at 16:58

        And a vicious one.

      • 153 Susan P April 7, 2016 at 21:30

        It’s my middle name.

      • 154 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2016 at 18:46

        What is your middle name?

      • 155 Susan P April 9, 2016 at 16:03

        It is a secret.

      • 156 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2016 at 13:48

        A big one?

      • 157 Susan P April 20, 2016 at 14:12

        What is it worth if I answer?

      • 158 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2016 at 13:07

        Five gold coins.

      • 159 Susan P April 21, 2016 at 20:54

        Really? Coin chocolate good?

      • 160 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2016 at 13:32

        Oh, I think so. I like that.

      • 161 Susan P April 25, 2016 at 14:35

        With cherries.

      • 162 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2016 at 13:28

        Lots of cherries.

      • 163 Susan P April 26, 2016 at 13:51

        Well, we agree on something.

      • 164 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:01

        Which is a wonder and a half.

      • 165 Susan P April 27, 2016 at 13:53

        No kidding

      • 166 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:24

        Only kid every so often. Promise.

      • 167 Susan P April 28, 2016 at 13:27

        Wellll okay. There are some kids, tho

      • 168 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:33

        Okay, yes. But just a few.

      • 169 Susan P April 28, 2016 at 13:35

        If you believe that you haven’t done much babysitting. Have you?

      • 170 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2016 at 13:42

        Haha. I haven’t done any, I must admit…

      • 171 Susan P April 30, 2016 at 20:02

        How is that?

      • 172 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2016 at 13:50

        Baby’s hate me.

      • 173 Susan P May 3, 2016 at 14:48

        Or is it that you don’t like babies?

      • 174 Professor VJ Duke May 4, 2016 at 13:10

        I don’t mind them, of course. Not sure what to do with them.

      • 175 Susan P May 11, 2016 at 18:01

        Some days we none of us know what to do with them.

      • 176 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2016 at 01:47

        Maybe put them in a swimming pool. #newidea

      • 177 Susan P May 12, 2016 at 13:13

        Dunno about that…what is for lunch?

      • 178 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2016 at 14:10

        Burritos?

      • 179 Susan P May 13, 2016 at 14:17

        You are making me hungry.

      • 180 Professor VJ Duke May 14, 2016 at 22:29

        Let’s get lunch.

      • 181 Susan P May 15, 2016 at 19:56

        No girl food, right? I could eat a buffalo

      • 182 Professor VJ Duke May 16, 2016 at 12:40

        Whoa. The whole thing?!

      • 183 Susan P May 16, 2016 at 13:46

        Little by little.
        You mean you can’t do it?

      • 184 Professor VJ Duke May 16, 2016 at 18:54

        Well, I can…

      • 185 Susan P May 16, 2016 at 19:52

        You don’t have a clue, do you?

      • 186 Professor VJ Duke May 17, 2016 at 12:44

        Not a single clue, I fear.

      • 187 Susan P May 17, 2016 at 17:42

        I’ll see if I can find one. Would that work?

      • 188 Susan P May 3, 2016 at 14:48

        Steak.

      • 189 Professor VJ Duke May 4, 2016 at 13:11

        With mushrooms.

      • 190 Susan P May 11, 2016 at 18:01

        And hot sauce.

      • 191 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2016 at 01:47

        #spicy

      • 192 Susan P May 12, 2016 at 13:14

        And sweet

      • 193 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2016 at 14:10

        Like the professor.

      • 194 Susan P May 13, 2016 at 14:17

        Well, that explains a lot, doesn’t it?

      • 195 Professor VJ Duke May 14, 2016 at 22:29

        I was just kidding. I’m not sweet at all, of course.

      • 196 Susan P May 15, 2016 at 19:55

        Teddy said you are full of balogna

      • 197 Professor VJ Duke May 16, 2016 at 12:40

        *sighs* That’s probably true.

      • 198 Susan P May 16, 2016 at 13:47

        He said you keep him awake all night when you are thinking.

        You need to say sorry.

      • 199 Professor VJ Duke May 16, 2016 at 18:54

        Tell him I’m very sorry. Also, ask him how he knew I was thinking lots last night. Please and many thank you

      • 200 Susan P May 16, 2016 at 19:52

        He said it better not happen again.

      • 201 Professor VJ Duke May 17, 2016 at 12:44

        Tell him…it just did… *gulps*

      • 202 Susan P May 17, 2016 at 17:44

        You have a knack of getting into trouble, don’t don’t you think?

      • 203 Professor VJ Duke May 18, 2016 at 13:12

        Yes…is it a gift, tho?

      • 204 Susan P May 19, 2016 at 14:15

        What do you think?

      • 205 Professor VJ Duke May 20, 2016 at 14:17

        I think it’s time for a nap.

      • 206 Susan P May 20, 2016 at 19:02

        I think that is a good idea.

      • 207 Professor VJ Duke May 23, 2016 at 13:21

        Maybe even two

      • 208 Susan P May 24, 2016 at 13:18

        Is there a cap?

      • 209 Professor VJ Duke May 25, 2016 at 13:07

        And a teddy bear

      • 210 Susan P May 25, 2016 at 13:15

        I have a Teddy Bear. He sleeps on the floor in the bedroom.

      • 211 Professor VJ Duke May 25, 2016 at 13:21

        Is he mad about that?

      • 212 Susan P May 25, 2016 at 14:15

        Some days. But he kept falling off the bed so I had to do something.

      • 213 Professor VJ Duke May 26, 2016 at 14:07

        Yes, you can’t have him breaking his neck.

      • 214 Susan P May 26, 2016 at 14:22

        Why not?

      • 215 Professor VJ Duke May 26, 2016 at 14:30

        He’ll get cranky!

      • 216 Susan P May 26, 2016 at 18:20

        You scared of him?

      • 217 Professor VJ Duke June 6, 2016 at 14:46

        I only fear cacti!

      • 218 Susan P June 6, 2016 at 16:40

        I have one if you need it.

      • 219 Professor VJ Duke June 7, 2016 at 13:17

        Is she sweet?

      • 220 Susan P June 7, 2016 at 14:07

        Just like DS

      • 221 Professor VJ Duke June 8, 2016 at 13:12

        That beast.

      • 222 Susan P June 8, 2016 at 13:53

        Beast? What did he do now?

      • 223 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:00

        You mean what didn’t he do.

      • 224 Susan P June 9, 2016 at 18:16

        He didn’t do what he said he would do and then forgot what he was doing.

      • 225 Professor VJ Duke June 10, 2016 at 13:34

        That sounds like me, you know.

      • 226 Susan P June 10, 2016 at 13:38

        Ah, that is why it seems familiar. Are you related?

      • 227 Professor VJ Duke June 10, 2016 at 13:47

        Oh no. He has red hair, DS does.

      • 228 Susan P June 10, 2016 at 17:47

        But what if he changes his color to fake you out?

      • 229 Professor VJ Duke June 12, 2016 at 14:48

        That’s cheating.

      • 230 Susan P June 14, 2016 at 12:53

        All’s fair in love and war. Or so they tell me.

    • 231 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2016 at 02:47

      *laughing lots and lots* Well, goodness. I hope they paid you rather good for it. They put some CGI on it, too, don’t you see.

      I should’ve bought them all cookies. Isn’t that right?

      • 232 PorterGirl March 17, 2016 at 09:19

        Yes, I am much fatter than that in real life. I was paid £4.67 – a handsome sum I am sure you agree!
        Cookies would have swung it, definitely.

      • 233 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2016 at 14:29

        *laughing* That is a handsome sum. I say, you should’ve charged a few cherry suckers instead.

      • 234 PorterGirl March 19, 2016 at 08:00

        Good point. Should the situation arise again, I shall demand cherry suckers.

      • 235 Professor VJ Duke March 22, 2016 at 14:33

        About 10 to 20, too.

      • 236 PorterGirl March 22, 2016 at 14:36

        At least!

      • 237 Professor VJ Duke March 22, 2016 at 14:38

        At least!


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