Defeating Bigfoot

professor speaks

So, the professor rolled into a Chinese Restaurant.

And you see, that’s how it’s really done. I roll into places, I think. I prefer it to walking, I think further. In fact, after a few more thinks, it just sounds cooler to say ‘rolled’ rather than ‘walk’, don’t you suppose?

Glad you agree, the sudden.

Where was I?

Oh yes, I rolled right in.

If you can figure out why this pic is in here, you get loads of credit. I can't, see.

If you can figure out why this pic is in here, you get loads of credit. I can’t, see.

“Can I?” the woman said behind the desk.

“Can you?” I repeated. Then I got it. “Oh, yes please. You can, you may, just do it, I say.”

I was seated at a table, and this was the thing: There was another fellow, seated across from me.

“Well, hello,” I said, taking a seat. “This is new for me. I’ve never been sat at a table with another chap before.”

Now this fellow was a bit greasy looking. He hadn’t shaved in some time, too. His beard was long, dirty, and making a general nuisance of itself.

At least, I thought so.

Something maybe like this.

Something maybe like this.

“This is a new experience,” I said again.

He just grunted. Then he did another thing that was scary: He dipped his beard in his soup and brought it up for a taste.

I decided to adopt a different approach.

“Do you normally have manners like this?” this professor asked. “Look here, this is uncalled for.”

And I slapped him across the face once then twice. Easy, too. Not too hard. I was just reproaching him, after all.

“Mind your manners.”

He grunted at me again and his eyes locked on mine.

I went back up to the desk.

“Look here,” I said, “do you suppose you may have another table that doesn’t feature bigfoot?”

bigfoot_skullc

“Maybe I?” she said.

This was sickening.

“No,” I answered. “You mayn’t, the sudden.”

“Then how?” she asked, laughing. Laughing!

“Simple,” I said. “Throw him out.”

“Oh, you may?”

That was all I needed.

I returned to the table.

Mr. Bigfoot was still dipping his beard about the place, like it owned everything.

Dadblameit.

“Look here,” I said, “there’s only this table left, I hear the sudden, so you must leave. You’ve been here far too long.”

Another fiendish grunt.

And then, of course, I tackled him to the floor, got him in a triangle, and sorta choked him out.

I was filthy after the encounter, but I now have bragging rights:

This professor has defeated Bigfoot.

Yo.

Advertisements

148 Responses to “Defeating Bigfoot”


  1. 1 Nancy Loderick April 5, 2016 at 19:38

    Well Professor,

    This story reminds me to never go to a restaurant with you. As much as I would love to sit down with you and have a conversation, I’m not so sure about some unexpected visitors. You just never know who we will run into!

    Nancy

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke April 6, 2016 at 14:20

      Haha. I’m normal most of the time. Promise. I never usually let my killing instincts go.

  2. 3 Freakishly Fangirlish April 4, 2016 at 18:02

    Fun fact: my great uncle has been mistaken for Big Foot many times… there are pics of him on the web titled “I found Bigfoot”

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke April 5, 2016 at 13:48

      *laughing lots and lots* This is sorta cool. Imagine the scares you could do with your uncle. Can I borrow him?

      • 5 Freakishly Fangirlish April 5, 2016 at 14:25

        Hmm, I don’t know… he might be trademarked, but I’ll sort through the copyrights for you.

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke April 6, 2016 at 14:10

        Yes, please. I hate dealing with that sort of thing. We could always rename him, too.

      • 7 Freakishly Fangirlish April 6, 2016 at 14:22

        that’s true. also, he is in prison, so that might be an issue

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke April 6, 2016 at 14:27

        Humph. You could’ve mentioned that first! Dadblameit. We’ll have to bust him out.

      • 9 Freakishly Fangirlish April 6, 2016 at 17:47

        Umm, he kind of deserves his jailtime lol… XD

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2016 at 16:43

        Oh…well, then. I do hope if I ever go to jail, you’ll bust me out, please.

      • 11 Freakishly Fangirlish April 7, 2016 at 17:31

        Depends what you’re in the clinker for, dear sir. I don’t condone murder…or stealing food

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2016 at 18:37

        I’m in the clinker for being filthy, I think.

      • 13 Freakishly Fangirlish April 8, 2016 at 18:45

        I will never believe that, good sir. :D

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2016 at 18:56

        But I have a katana!

      • 15 Freakishly Fangirlish April 8, 2016 at 19:04

        My five year old cousin has one also (she’s a secret ninja)

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2016 at 13:38

        No way! I’m impressed. I’ve never heard of such a young lady getting into those arts!

  3. 17 Lady Dunamis March 31, 2016 at 16:35

    Did you pimp smack big foot or did you slap him with a napkin like a proper gentleman. Because how you hit him makes all the difference you see.

    • 18 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2016 at 14:54

      I slapped him silly, would you believe. But he wasn’t laughing. I think he wanted to kill me, you know.

  4. 19 Esme upon the Cloud March 31, 2016 at 16:22

    Yo indeed. He didn’t reckon on meeting the prof clearly. Do you slap many people across the face when out and about?

    – esme laughing upon the Cloud

    • 20 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2016 at 14:54

      Well…no. Do I strike you as that vicious?

      • 21 Esme upon the Cloud April 1, 2016 at 17:57

        You haven’t struck me at all…yet! Hahahaha.

        – esme watching carefully upon the Cloud

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2016 at 20:44

        That’s because…because I’m being sweet…

      • 23 Esme upon the Cloud April 3, 2016 at 22:16

        Like a custard tart! – *shoves one in his face and pegs it fast*.

        – esme fast as lightening upon the Cloud

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2016 at 15:04

        I’ve never even had one. It’s tasty, I think.

      • 25 Esme upon the Cloud April 4, 2016 at 16:56

        – esme of custard pie Cloud fame

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke April 5, 2016 at 13:46

        I didn’t even have time to duck.

      • 27 Esme upon the Cloud April 5, 2016 at 18:44

        Let alone Goose.

        – esme the swift upon the Cloud

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke April 6, 2016 at 14:18

        Goose. I like that word.

  5. 29 Jackie March 30, 2016 at 19:52

    Wowawee! That is a humdinger of a story! Can you really roll up into a ball like a pillbug (aka roly poly, armadillo bug, potato bug)?

    • 30 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2016 at 14:51

      I think I could. I mean, I wish I could. Probably not, I fear. Rats.

      • 31 Jackie April 1, 2016 at 15:35

        If you ever succeed in rolling up like a pillbug you should make a video!

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2016 at 20:40

        Imagine! I’d teach you the secret, of course, for a few cherry suckers or something.

      • 33 Jackie April 3, 2016 at 22:55

        I’d say that’s a fair price!

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2016 at 15:05

        I’m usually fair, of course.

      • 35 Jackie April 4, 2016 at 15:07

        Of course!

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2016 at 15:08

        And sometimes not.

      • 37 Jackie April 4, 2016 at 15:20

        Of course!

  6. 38 Heartafire March 30, 2016 at 13:32

    Bigfoot is really coming out of his shell…or the woods. Frequenting restaurants, he used to be satisfied with a bit of of road kill. Its good you are not the litigious type, you’d be suing the pants off this place and they have it coming, of course Biggie F is licking his wounds somewhere in the foot hills, planning his next encounter with the professor, taking jujitsu (sp?). Sweet dreams.

    • 39 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2016 at 14:49

      I know. What can we do about this? Should he be hunted, or is he harmless, would you say? Jiu jitsu is awesome, you know!

      • 40 Heartafire April 1, 2016 at 15:18

        with a little discipline I think he would make a fine pet. What d’ya say?

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2016 at 20:40

        With a little discipline I”d make a fine professor. *nods*

      • 42 Heartafire April 3, 2016 at 22:31

        make a cage.

      • 43 Heartafire April 3, 2016 at 22:44

        Oh, sorry, forget the cage, yes you would!

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2016 at 15:05

        Hmm. You wanna lock me in a cage now.

      • 45 Heartafire April 4, 2016 at 18:18

        I would never dream if doing that! :)

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke April 5, 2016 at 13:50

        I’d just escape you know. Quicker than a monkey.

      • 47 Heartafire April 5, 2016 at 13:56

        Laughs…love the visual.

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke April 6, 2016 at 14:10

        I bet you didn’t know that about me…that I was quicker than a monkey.

      • 49 Heartafire April 6, 2016 at 14:30

        hahaha! good to know.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2016 at 16:38

        *bows*

  7. 51 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 30, 2016 at 03:03

    You’re rolling and yoing…did you make new friends? Or did Bigfoot teach you those words and their meanings just before you put him into a triangle? Hum? What does a triangle hold look like, Duketh, prey tell?
    Laughing so much…I love bigfoot

    • 52 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2016 at 13:17

      Well, I don’t think he liked me after that, the beast. I think we’re enemies now. Sworn enemies, even. What a thing.

      This, madam, is a triangle hold. It hurts, too, mind you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c73X6u3T6cc

      • 53 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 31, 2016 at 01:08

        Tis an intimate situation and I think one should get out of that hold as soon as possible. Enimies, huh? Sorry to hear it. *walks home with bigfoot*

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2016 at 14:53

        Well, no one thinks of that when one is in it, see. Otherwise, you get choked out, haha. Don’t walk home with him! He’ll bite your head off!

      • 55 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 2, 2016 at 13:20

        I see, well I would fear my breathing, for sure. He might bite my head. One never knows til one tries.

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2016 at 20:50

        Yes, you probably wouldn’t be breathing much if you didn’t tap. That’s the thing, see.

      • 57 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 4, 2016 at 14:03

        So tap out right away. Got it.

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2016 at 15:07

        Haha. I do. I mean, I try for a bit. This one chap bent my arm back at this horrid angle. Still hurts.

      • 59 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 5, 2016 at 01:34

        You actually do this, Duke? Why?? You’re strong enough as it is, unless you want to be able to wrestle bigfoot for me.

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke April 5, 2016 at 13:51

        It’s sorta fun. Self-defense, see. Wrestling bigger guys and whatnot. Good practice. But it can hurt at times, haha.

      • 61 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 6, 2016 at 12:22

        I’m sure it hurts a lot of the times. Seems ones face is rearranged while doing it. Your appearance changes…I’ve seen it happen!

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke April 6, 2016 at 14:26

        You have? How?

      • 63 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 10, 2016 at 00:17

        Not “your”…what I meant was “ones” appearance changes.

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2016 at 13:56

        Ohhhhh…I see. You haveth a good point, Audith.

  8. 65 Simply Skeptical March 29, 2016 at 23:42

    Most certainly a most intriguing tale. It does seem to appear that Mr. Big Foot was not of the aggressive sort otherwise he might have had some sort of a reaction to being slapped once to twice; rather than a grunt that is. Yes, quite docile. Your defeat dear Professor might not have been in the physical attack as much as in the way you may have wounded his soul. Nevertheless a defeat and no less.

    • 66 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2016 at 13:14

      Now, now, no undermining my big victory! He only appeared docile. Believe me, he got quite cranky once I got him in a triangle. I think he almost bit my leg off, now that I think on it. Oh yes, my blood was everywhere.

      • 67 Simply Skeptical March 30, 2016 at 20:13

        I knew it! I never doubted it for a sec. Bravery such as this is rare indeed!

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2016 at 14:51

        Very rare. So rare, they search for it all the time.

  9. 69 FictionFan March 29, 2016 at 20:59

    *gasps* I’ve just seen a newsflash on TV…

    “Julian Edelman attacked by Strange Man in Chinese Restaurant”

    I warned you about beards. Didn’t I warn you? Mind you, it’s always good to have a place to keep some of your food for later, and beards might be quite absorbent. Have you given up the guitar for the triangle then? It was lucky you had one with you – you must have exceptionally huge biceps to have been able to crush him down small enough to shove him into it, though. *peeks admiringly*

    PS Exactly how big were his feet?

    • 70 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2016 at 13:13

      *laughs* I wouldn’t attack Julian! Well, I might. If he was disturbing my meal times. I just might. Oh dear me no. Beards don’t need to be disgusting like that. I mean, look, George Clooney has a beard, and so does Big Show. See? Beards can be cool, don’t you know.

      Hahaha…this triangle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c73X6u3T6cc

      About this big! *wide motion with hands*

      • 71 FictionFan March 30, 2016 at 14:59

        Oh, George would look good in anything – you can’t judge general mankind by his standards. Who’s Big Show?

        *laughs* That is… disturbing!

        Oh, really? I was expecting them to be this big! *wide motion with hands*

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2016 at 14:50

        *laughs* The Indian! Big Show is this huge wrestler chap. He sorta looks like bigfoot, you know.

        It actually hurts pretty bad, don’t you know.

        That’s close, haha. Very close.

      • 73 FictionFan April 1, 2016 at 17:00

        Goodness gracious me! He makes Bigfoot seem quite pretty!

        *laughs* I believe you! It hurt me just to watch the vid…

        They’d be good for stamping on!

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2016 at 20:44

        That’s so wicked. Show has a great beard.

        It like squeezes the neck. But it’s a cool attack. *nods*

        But no stamping on the professor! *eyes FEF*

      • 75 FictionFan April 4, 2016 at 14:16

        Promise me you won’t take him for your role model – now!!

        *laughs* Yes, one must never let a bit of strangulation stand in the way of coolness…

        Such a spoilsport… *stomps away, muttering*

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2016 at 15:08

        I can’t…he’s too big! My role model…I’m not sure I have one, you know. Maybe Dad.

        Quite right. Jits has lots of…interesting positions.

        I’m a professional one, you know.

      • 77 FictionFan April 4, 2016 at 18:15

        Hmm… well, I don’t know your Dad so I can’t be sure he’s a good role model. But he does seem to have turned out three rather spiffing sons (though probably your Mom did most of the hard work) so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt meantime…

        *laughs* Uh-huh…

        Ah, but I was just lulling you into a false sense of security! *stamps on Professorial toesies*

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke April 5, 2016 at 13:50

        Women always do most of the hard work. But chaps have to have warriors to look up to, see. Like Hector. Well, maybe two. I’m sorta the mean, wicked, filthy one, double-see.

        You should give it a go!

        Aha! I have steel-tipped boots on!! #wins

      • 79 FictionFan April 5, 2016 at 17:54

        They do – I’m so glad you’ve noticed! Yes, role models are good things – you should add Darby to your list! He’s perfect after all. Oh, you may be mean and filthy, but we both know you’re still a sweetie pumpkin pie underneath… *nods vehemently*

        Aha! You want me to die! I knew it!!

        Ah, but the soles of my shoes are equipped with steel-penetrating spikes for just such emergencies… *stamps*

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke April 6, 2016 at 14:18

        I’ve only noticed for now, tho. I’ll probably forget right now, too. *forgets* Darby? There’s nothing to admire about that beanstalk! Nothing at all. Am not neither!!!

        *laughs* You wouldn’t die!

        I think you just broke my foot.

      • 81 FictionFan April 6, 2016 at 17:53

        Don’t worry – I’ll keep reminding you! Soooo jealous! But you could be just as dashing as him if only you’d work harder on that kiss-curl…

        Bet I would!!! Or at the very least I’d end up with my legs on back to front!

        Oh, I’m sorry! *turns away, chuckling*

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2016 at 16:48

        *laughs* You know–the sudden–I forget what a kiss-curl is, too. Isn’t this something?

        Well…that might happen. But I doubt it. Women are generally more flexible than guys.

        I’m going to do this epic takedown on you…

      • 83 FictionFan April 7, 2016 at 19:48

        That’s OK – just check your vids and you’ll remember!

        Are they? I’ve never tried bending one…

        *laughs* How come is when you threaten me it always ends up sounding kinda cute and adorable?

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2016 at 18:42

        But you said I didn’t have one!

        They are! Especially in the hips. It’s really quite disconcerting. Of course, I’m about as agile as a tree trunk, so…

        Really? Rats. I was trying to sound filthy, too.

      • 85 FictionFan April 9, 2016 at 17:22

        You do sometimes – like in the Pirates vid… *checks and nods*

        Hips?!? Why, goodness, sir – you shouldn’t be looking at girls’ hips!! I’m shocked to my socks!! Hmm… I think history proves that tree trunks are actually more agile than Professors…

        *laughs* Poor c&a Prof!

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2016 at 13:54

        Oh that one… *double sigh* You might have a point there.

        Haha. You know what I mean!! Oh, that’s right. I’d forgotten all about trees and me. What a thing.

        *rampages*

  10. 87 John W. Howell March 29, 2016 at 20:16

    You are lucky he didn’t decide to go for the jugular.

    • 88 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2016 at 13:12

      My jugular? He wouldn’t do that! Would he?

      • 89 John W. Howell March 30, 2016 at 13:21

        Some have.

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2016 at 14:46

        I’ll get throat armor.

      • 91 John W. Howell April 2, 2016 at 00:41

        Try lower armor as well. Yeti’s like mountain oysters.

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2016 at 20:46

        *laughing* Do yetis?! I never knew this. How do you know?

      • 93 John W. Howell April 3, 2016 at 22:21

        says in a high voice “I met one once.”

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2016 at 15:04

        *laughing too much* John…I had no idea.

      • 95 John W. Howell April 4, 2016 at 17:49

        Just fiction.

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke April 5, 2016 at 13:48

        *wipes head* I was so nervous for a tick or two.

      • 97 John W. Howell April 5, 2016 at 17:36

        Ha ha ha.

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke April 6, 2016 at 14:16

        Haha, too.

  11. 99 walt walker March 29, 2016 at 17:49

    This may be my most favorites of Your Works, like ever. I was very excited to read a bigfoot story for one, because I’ve never come across one before (neither a bigfoot nor a story about one). Also, I wasn’t expecting a Chinese restaurant, and I do love Chinese restaurants. Or the lady who can’t complete sentences. Or you to slap the old fellow, which was quite called for, I contend. And the beard dipping gave me a bit of a chortle. Well done, sacking the old fellow, too. That should learn him against such barbarism.

    • 100 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2016 at 13:11

      Well, thank you, Mr. Walt. The professor appreciates every word, of course. Well, I’ve never read a story about an encounter with bigfoot either. It was high time for one. Imagine searching for him in the woods when he’s actually in a Chinese restaurant. This is such a wonder. It felt good attacking him, too.

  12. 101 desertdweller29 March 29, 2016 at 15:29

    He had it coming, Yo.

    • 102 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2016 at 13:06

      If I wouldn’t have done it, I’m sure you would have, DD.

      • 103 desertdweller29 March 30, 2016 at 14:45

        Si!

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2016 at 14:49

        Oooo…is that French for yes?

      • 105 desertdweller29 April 1, 2016 at 17:00

        Hah! (I believe “hah” is French for yes…)

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2016 at 20:44

        *squints eyes* Should I believe that?

  13. 107 Debbie March 29, 2016 at 15:06

    Maybe you should have avoided all this by stopping at another restaurant, Professor … or picking up your order to go. But that would have negated your victory of having a post this morning as well as bragging rights, wouldn’t it?? You’re very brave for sitting across from the bearded fellow and watching him dip that hair into his food — must have made for a sickening sight!

    • 108 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2016 at 13:06

      Well, here’s the thing, if he would’ve had speaks with me, I would’ve had speaks with him. But I’m not sure, the sudden. I mean, he wasn’t nice at all. Plus, I only brag little bits. He really wasn’t a worthy competitor. Like Hector would’ve been.

  14. 109 L. Marie March 29, 2016 at 15:03

    Wow! Congrats on defeating Bigfoot. Now perhaps you’ll tackle that woman who keeps asking oblique questions like “Maybe I?”
    Hope you at least were given some tea after that encounter.

    • 110 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2016 at 13:04

      Haha, thanks. Well, here’s the thing, I’m not sure I should tackle her. I mean, I could. But isn’t she being somewhat peaceable? OF course, it could be a front now that I think on it.

      • 111 L. Marie April 4, 2016 at 19:03

        I think it is. You have a soft spot for females, I notice. With guys, you’re on your guard more.

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke April 5, 2016 at 13:51

        A soft spot for females?! What mean you, madam?

  15. 113 PorterGirl March 29, 2016 at 14:09

    Now this is an upsetting thing to happen in a Chinese restaurant – the only thing that should be occurring in such a place is copious amounts of eating! So you were right to get humpty with the Bigfoot creature. Also – it’s a strange name, when you think on it. He should really be called Bigfeet – unless he really only has one big foot and the other one is teeny tiny. Hey ho. That picture there – is it a woodlouse all curled up? For some reason, a woodlouse is also known as a cheese beetle. There you go.

    • 114 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2016 at 13:04

      Huh. What a thing. It is a strange name, you’re quite right, the sudden. We should petition to give him a new name. Bigfeet. That what we shall call him. We are geniuses, of course.

      I think that’s a millipede? I’m not sure. Cheese beetle! I wanna be one!

      • 115 PorterGirl March 30, 2016 at 13:30

        Bigfeet is a much better name! It looks a little small for a millipede… unless the hand is really big. But it could be… anything! *laughs* You would make a super cheese beetle!

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2016 at 14:48

        That’s a good point…it is a bit big! Maybe it was hit with a nuke? Okay, I’m now a cheese beetle. *nods*

      • 117 PorterGirl April 1, 2016 at 15:52

        A nuke is the only explanation *nods* Greetings, Professor Cheese Beetle!

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2016 at 20:42

        Greetings! Aren’t I a sight to behold?

      • 119 PorterGirl April 4, 2016 at 09:45

        Aren’t you just? Very beholding indeed!

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2016 at 15:07

        You mean, nightmare worthy.

      • 121 PorterGirl April 4, 2016 at 15:28

        You know just what I mean, you beast.

      • 122 Professor VJ Duke April 5, 2016 at 13:46

        Of course I don’t. I only know some things at some times.

      • 123 PorterGirl April 5, 2016 at 14:01

        You are such a bugger, you know. Even worse than the beautiful T *laughing lots*

      • 124 Professor VJ Duke April 6, 2016 at 14:10

        *laughing* Beautiful T! Of course. I’m King Bugger.

      • 125 PorterGirl April 6, 2016 at 14:32

        He was angry about that and I had to promise not to call him that again. But I will – right when he least expects it.

      • 126 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2016 at 16:38

        *laughs* He so deserves it.

      • 127 PorterGirl April 7, 2016 at 16:39

        I think so too. Just when he thinks we are not arguing, I’m going to throw it right back in there *laughs*

      • 128 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2016 at 16:59

        He’ll bite your face off, I warrant.

      • 129 PorterGirl April 7, 2016 at 17:06

        Seems a bit extreme. But I am prepared to risk it.

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2016 at 18:35

        Extreme. I like extreme things.

      • 131 PorterGirl April 8, 2016 at 20:41

        Yes indeed. I shall bite him back, I say.

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2016 at 13:41

        Hard, too.

      • 133 PorterGirl April 11, 2016 at 14:09

        Right on the eyebrow.

      • 134 Professor VJ Duke April 12, 2016 at 13:13

        Oh. That would hurt. Haha.

      • 135 PorterGirl April 12, 2016 at 13:23

        I would feel a bit bad about it, you know. Perhaps just a gentle eyebrow bite.

      • 136 Professor VJ Duke April 13, 2016 at 13:36

        Oh no. Bites must be vicious, see!

      • 137 PorterGirl April 13, 2016 at 13:38

        I am feeling very vicious, the sudden…

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke April 13, 2016 at 13:59

        Like a mongoose?

      • 139 PorterGirl April 13, 2016 at 14:03

        Oh yes just like that! Vicious yet… furry. With a tail!

      • 140 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2016 at 13:29

        That’s the perfect vicious spirit, I say.

      • 141 PorterGirl April 14, 2016 at 14:19

        I do try.

      • 142 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2016 at 12:55

        Me too. It’s hard trying, I find.

      • 143 PorterGirl April 16, 2016 at 07:43

        Yes. But then I like a challenge.

      • 144 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2016 at 12:45

        Me too. Challenges are capital.

  16. 145 Haylee March 29, 2016 at 14:05

    You really shouldn’t be so mean to these bearded, Hipster folk – it can be a terrible nuisance, having to be so hairy. He probably only wanted some sriracha stir-fried noodles after his soup and he’d be in his way…

    • 146 Professor VJ Duke March 30, 2016 at 13:02

      I know. I felt mean, see. But still I hungered lots and lots, don’t you know. Here’s the thing, couldn’t he shave?

      • 147 Haylee March 30, 2016 at 13:53

        Hmmm… but what if he lost all his power, like Samson lost his strength? Although, I suppose he is called BigFOOT, not BigBEARD.

      • 148 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2016 at 14:49

        Well, now, now. Isn’t it possible bigfoot has a big beard and big eyes? It is, you know.


Say something...anything...O Punchy Family!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




TPL Schedule

Sunday: OFF — Day of Shalt Nots

Monday: TPL Story

Tuesday: OFF — Because I'm Gone

Wednesday: Professor Speaks

Thursday: OFF — Because Yes

Friday: OFF — All Day Sleep Does

Saturday: OFF — Blue-Footed Boobies Need Fed

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email!

Join 1,874 other followers

Follow The Punchy Lands! on WordPress.com

Blog Stats

  • 115,055 hits

Join the Professor on Twitter!

Professorish Smiley:

==[:-{)=

or

==[:-{)+

Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


%d bloggers like this: