We all adopt truth as our own, mold it, make it, and try to totally dominate it. But truth is as unmovable as…the most unmoving thing you can’t think of.
V. Shnodgrate, Renowned PL Poet
Like penguins before jumping onto a sea cow.
Prince Beef must’ve been in the middle of a long speech, for his hand was outstretched as if it was flying about making one of his dull points seem sharper.
He also seemed quite perturbed at being interrupted.
Clara and Gertrude were standing in front of him. Gertrude’s blond hair was in weird braids, I must admit. Almost like a Viking might do. Clara’s black or brown hair was all off to the side, as usual.
“What is the meaning of this?!” Prince Beef spitted, spluttered, and yelled.
We did make quite a racket coming in.
“I’ll tell you what!” Schwarz Tauptinker said, brandishing his new katana about. “I…I…brought this back for you, your highness!”
And he dropped to a knee.
Parker and I shared a look of surprise.
“Good for you, my man,” the prince said haughtily, and a little less angrily.
Then he snapped his fingers twice.
The katana was retrieved from Schwarz and brought to the prince. He inspected it once, twice, thrice, then threw it over his head.
“Toasty,” he said to a fellow who stepped up, “call Fats Henry. See if he’ll still get the Diamond of Drake for the katana.”
Toasty bowed and left–with the katana.
“You know, Schwarz,” the prince said as he began to pace about upon his raised dias–he was on one, by the way, “I’m quite fond of what you just did. Bringing the sword all the way back like this. It shows loyalty. That’s what I like about your sister, too.” He looked at Gertrude here.
“That’s chicky,” Schwarz said, obviously condoning the marriage.
“But…” the prince trailed off. “That’s what makes life so hard. Because how can I choose between your sister and this girl, Clara?”
Shocked. Deep. Down. To. My. Bones.
At least I think I was.
Prince Beef liked Clara?
Had to figure out more, but Bud Parker beat me to it.
“You have two girlfriends, bud?” he asked.
Prince Beef shot him a red-eyed, evil look.
“How dare you insult me, you mad toad?!” he declared.
Good name calling, I thought.
Parker shrugged. “Like I care.”
“Imbecile!” the prince shouted. “I can’t wed both! I must choose!”
He then became softer.
“Ahh, Gertrude,” he said, “my first love.” He ran his hands through her hair.
Looked like he was searching for mice, in truth. I imagine that’s how it’s done, anyways and some.
Then he turned to Clara.
“And Clara,” he said, “ever since you fell on your knees before me and declared him”–he pointed to this professor here–“to be a liar and cheat…I’ve loved you. What is a prince supposed to do when he falls for two women?”
And Prince Beef collapsed onto his thrown, exhausted.
Clara just stood there, all stiff like. She was definitely cranky. Gertrude looked upset.
“Dadblame all this dadblamery,” I said. “I’m outta here.”
And rather quickly too.
Schwarz rose up on his feet.
“How dare you!” he yelled in a high-pitched voice. “I’ll kill you!”
“Schwarz, no!” Gertrude said.
Prince Beef looked up. “Oh, guards, arrest everyone. I’m tired of the whole lot.”
Schwarz charged the prince, but the guards stopped him.
There was a fight.
I joined in.
Fights are fun, see.