Sweet Sue Busts Us Out

Big ups and thanks to Susan Price for brainstorming with me on this one. In TPL, she’s Sweet Sue. Yo.

If you feel vicious, take it out on the weeds.

V. Shnodgrate, Renowned PL Poet

UntitledSo, there we were.

Sitting in a dark, dank prison. And it was full of lice, ticks, spiders, worms, and the scurvy.

Anyways, it was quite a meeting. Sort of.

We were all sitting in a circle: Schwarz Tauptinker, Bud Parker, Clara Higgins, Gertrude Tauptinker, and of course, this naughty, naughty professor.

None of these dispirited ones were talking either.

“So,” this professor said, breaking the silence. “We’re all going to die, that’s an interest.”

“Shut-up!” Clara snapped.

Schwarz piped up to announce: “I’m not going to die, tell you what, chickit. I’m busting out! Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.”

“Yeah sure, bud,” Parker said. “Like that’s going to happen. We’re like heavily guarded.”

Gertrude started to cry.

“Stop it, man!” Schwarz yelled at Parker. “Look what you’re doing to my sister, dude! Just stop, man.”

Silence again.

It was also very dark in the cell.

YUTE_G_09

The door was shut, tho.

Presently, a quiet sound that grew louder filled the room.

“And this,” said a narrating voice, “is where we keep the worst of the criminals.”

It was a group of people. A tour.

See, every so oftens, tours come through Prince Beef’s palace.

What a thing.

I felt like a bear in a zoo.

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The professor.

The group stopped in front of our cell.

“Look at them,” the tour guide said. “The worst of the worst.”

I must admit, Clara did look pretty bad, but I thought I was rather spiffy looking, still.

Of course, this professor scanned the group…and that’s when I spotted someone who I didn’t expect to see.

Sweet Sue. There she was, mingling in the crowd.

But she had many other different names, really. See, Sweet Sue is an epic spy, always going about the land doing secret missions of the upmost importance.

There was no way, of course, that she was just here for a tour. Besides, this professor and Sweet Sue are great friends. I looked at her.

She looked at me and I saw she had a basket with something orange and white moving in it.

Then I knew that she knew: She was going to bust us out.

The group left and this professor stood.

“Well, well, welly,” I said. “Dadblame all the ticks in here, we’re getting out.”

“I knew it would happen if I was patient,” Schwarz answered, standing.

Parker shook his head. “Don’t get your hopes up, bud.”

“Just shut-up, all of you,” Clara said. “We’re not getting out, we’re going to die.”

“You shouldn’t have attacked Prince Beef.”

“Please.”

“Please what?”

“Please stop.”

“If you insist,” I said.

“I do.”

“K.”

Footsteps again. And light.

It was Sweet Sue with her moving basket.

“I’ll get you all out of here,” she said. “But just because the professor and I are friends.”

There were some exclamations of surprise amongst the group.

“You’re friends with PVJ?” Parker asked.

“Yes,” she answered. “We’ve done missions together before.”

“Secret, secret missions,” I said. “I’m an inhuman spy.”

“Knew that,” Clara mumbled.

“They were wonderfully great missions,” she said.

Then Sweet Sue had the door open very fastly fast. How she did it, I’ll never know. But she’s like that: Quick as a sleeping chap winking. Which is very fast, since sleeping chaps never wink.

In an instant and some, we were all out and following her down the hallway.

“Do you know the way out of here?” I asked.

“Absolutely,” she said.

And that’s when we ran into a guard. At the same moment, something white and orange jumped out of the wobbly basket and distracted the guard with his claws before the guard could say cat.

“Hey!”

But that’s all he got out.

In another twinkle (sleeping wink), Sue had him on the ground and out of the game.

“Why are you here?” I whispered as we left the palace.

“I’m working freelance for Mr. Magi…”

Oh dear.

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80 Responses to “Sweet Sue Busts Us Out”


  1. 1 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 25, 2016 at 14:10

    Sweet Sue saves the day! You’re quite lucky she had her picnic basket with her. The fact that she’s working freelance for my Magi leaves me super envious and her biggest cheerleader.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2016 at 13:23

      But Mr. Magi is cranky with me, you know. I think he hates me.

      • 3 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 2, 2016 at 19:34

        He isn’t capable of hating, I bet.

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2016 at 13:02

        Neither is the professor…

  2. 5 Jackie April 22, 2016 at 15:37

    Nobody likes weeds it seems.

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2016 at 13:37

      Now, what about dandelions?

      • 7 Jackie April 25, 2016 at 13:42

        People HATE dandelions!

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2016 at 13:19

        I know. I think it’s cause they grow quickly. Because, really, they’re quite nice.

      • 9 Jackie April 26, 2016 at 14:11

        Yes they are and they make a nice wine too!

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:03

        That’s right! I’m going to have to try that.

  3. 11 PorterGirl April 22, 2016 at 07:54

    Best. Collaboration. EVER.
    Ladies and cats are the deadliest things alive and now I know you are all in safe hands! I can sleep soundly in my bed at last. Hurrah for Sweet Sue, and avenging angel of many guises!
    Also – my, what big paws you have, Professor.

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2016 at 13:37

      My paws are so big the bugs can’t believe it when I walk on the grass. Wasn’t she magnificent? Wow. I feel so spicy, don’t you know.

      • 13 PorterGirl April 25, 2016 at 14:04

        Well, I think that I can’t believe your paws either!
        Absolutely magnificent! *laughs* You are spicy all the time, Professor.

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2016 at 13:22

        My paws. That’s so I can hold a bigger katana.

      • 15 PorterGirl April 26, 2016 at 13:26

        Very cunning, I say. Useful, too.

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2016 at 13:38

        Still working it out, tho. IT’s hard.

      • 17 PorterGirl April 26, 2016 at 13:42

        I bet. Paws are tricky things. Ask Rom for advice.

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 11:59

        I’m going to have to. But he trips from time to time.

      • 19 PorterGirl April 27, 2016 at 12:02

        Must be the enormous paws.

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:14

        *having second thoughts about enormous paws*

      • 21 PorterGirl April 27, 2016 at 12:15

        *laughing so much*

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:20

        I’ve decided you can have them. *hands them over*

      • 23 PorterGirl April 28, 2016 at 16:48

        Oh how very kind. Thank you, VJ.

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2016 at 13:57

        You could probably dig large holes with them.

      • 25 PorterGirl April 30, 2016 at 08:05

        That I shall. Holes for hiding my treasure.

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2016 at 13:47

        Treasure. I didn’t know your raids were successful!

      • 27 PorterGirl May 3, 2016 at 06:14

        But of course! All my raiding activities end in success. Or disaster. Either one is fine.

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2016 at 13:05

        Disaster teaches one how to have success, if one even wants success.

      • 29 PorterGirl May 3, 2016 at 14:16

        Success is scarier than failure. Bring on the scary stuff, I say!

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke May 4, 2016 at 13:10

        Me too! *grabs katana*

      • 31 PorterGirl May 4, 2016 at 20:06

        Yeah! *grabs baton*

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 13:16

        *battle cry*

  4. 33 Simply Skeptical April 22, 2016 at 00:02

    Go kitties especially orange and white wiggly ones…. :-)

    • 34 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2016 at 13:34

      George Bailey is also very trained, mind.

  5. 35 Simply Skeptical April 22, 2016 at 00:00

    I like Sweet Sue! She’s a sweetie for breaking all you jail birds out.

    • 36 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2016 at 13:34

      Isn’t she? An epic special agent. Knows all the cool stuff.

  6. 37 Debbie April 21, 2016 at 23:57

    Go, Sue. Yo. Great prison-break, though I might have been tempted…just a wee bit, you know…to leave Sulky Clara behind! The Professor makes a fine bear, too. And Kitty helps save the day!

    • 38 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2016 at 13:33

      Do you think Clara’s going to betray us?

  7. 39 John W. Howell April 21, 2016 at 21:56

    Oh dear oh dear.

    • 40 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2016 at 13:33

      Yeah, me too. Imagine. Many oh dears.

      • 41 John W. Howell April 25, 2016 at 17:14

        Oh dear squared

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2016 at 13:32

        *laughs* Now that is epic right there.

      • 43 John W. Howell April 26, 2016 at 18:13

        Cubed might be one better.

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:10

        I think you’re right. Cubed is always better.

      • 45 John W. Howell April 27, 2016 at 13:00

        To the fourth power works too.

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:22

        What does one call that, tho?

      • 47 John W. Howell April 28, 2016 at 13:25

        Hmmm. Quartiled?

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:31

        That sounds like a disease now.

      • 49 John W. Howell April 28, 2016 at 20:00

        Yeah you are right. I have no other answer. Oh wait. How about Qutrofied

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2016 at 13:59

        That’s even a bigger beaut. Hmm. I like it so much, in fact, I shall name something after it, once I find something to name.

      • 51 John W. Howell April 29, 2016 at 18:03

        Submarine.

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2016 at 13:44

        Perfect name for my sub! Have you got it yet, btw?

      • 53 John W. Howell May 2, 2016 at 15:30

        The guy wants 12 million. I’m a little short.

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2016 at 12:59

        That’s robbery! So, it’s time to rob him. Let’s go get it.

      • 55 John W. Howell May 3, 2016 at 21:06

        OH. I was one comment behind. I’ll go get it.

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke May 4, 2016 at 13:22

        Yes. And be stealthy about it, please.

      • 57 John W. Howell May 4, 2016 at 14:02

        Yes. I will.

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 13:01

        That’s the spirit. *nods*

  8. 59 Susan P April 21, 2016 at 17:20

    Reblogged this on The Portugal Years and commented:
    Cats are always helpful when you are in trouble.

    • 60 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2016 at 13:30

      But that’s because George is super cool.

      • 61 Susan P April 25, 2016 at 14:36

        He is for a fact.

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2016 at 13:29

        And so is Sweet Sue.

      • 63 Susan P April 26, 2016 at 13:47

        *blush*

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:00

        *double-blush*

  9. 65 FictionFan April 21, 2016 at 15:13

    (D’you know, I think the bear might be marginally cuddlier than the Professor… *considers thoughtfully*)

    Aha! So as usual it’s the woman and the cat who save the day! You should get Sweet Sue to give you warrior lessons! Schwarzy is so terrifically heroic, though, isn’t he? He’s an inspiration…

    • 66 Susan P April 21, 2016 at 16:00

      Your Schwarzy has skills.

    • 67 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2016 at 13:20

      (He is! Lots more so. Besides he’s got sharp teeth and probably weighs 800lbs. Imagine if he fell on you!)

      Oh Sweet Sue has trained for year and years. And so has George. It’s a wonder. I was going to have to dig through the wall with a toothpick,otherwise. Imagine how long that would’ve taken.

  10. 68 Freakishly Fangirlish April 21, 2016 at 14:18

    SEE! THAT CAT WAS THE BEST WEAPON!

    • 69 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2016 at 13:18

      *laughs* Well, that’s George Bailey. He’s a trained agent, see.

      • 70 Freakishly Fangirlish April 25, 2016 at 17:28

        Your cat has a human name? So does mine: Adrienne Leigh, after Leigh Nash the singer

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2016 at 13:35

        Leigh Nash! I’ve never heard of her, can you believe.

      • 72 Freakishly Fangirlish April 26, 2016 at 14:15

        she’s the lead singer for Sixpence None The Richer

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:05

        Is that an English band?

      • 74 Freakishly Fangirlish April 27, 2016 at 14:02

        Nope, they’re American :D But they’re old

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:26

        As old as me?

      • 76 Freakishly Fangirlish April 28, 2016 at 15:54

        I consider you to be an ageless force…like the wind and rain. So no, not as old as you XD

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2016 at 13:53

        Ooooo! that’s cool. I’m like fire, tho, too.

  11. 78 L. Marie April 21, 2016 at 14:16

    Good on Sweet Sue for busting you out. And Clara, I must say, behaved wretchedly. I hope she at least said thank you for the prison break. Only Schwarz showed spirit. Good on him.

    • 79 Susan P April 21, 2016 at 15:58

      George is a cat of many skills.

    • 80 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2016 at 13:17

      Schwarz has lots of spirit. It’s such a wonder, you know. I think Clara is going to betray us.


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