Decisions, Decisions

What makes something precious? The amount of people willing to die for it.

V. Shnodgrate, Renowned PL Poet

UntitledThe professor stopped right there and his jaw dropped a bit, bits, and little bits.

“You’re working for Mr. Magi?!” I asked.

After all, this professor wasn’t on good terms with Mr. Magi. He was of the school of thought that this professor was a thiever, because well, I took the Jeweled Katana to prevent further thieving.

Just goes to show you that they learn nothing in school, really.

Sweet Sue turned and looked at me, as if she was maddened she had to explain. She was always like that, see.

Direct.

And to the point.

I wear a shirt like this every other day.

I wear a shirt like this every other day.

Great spy characteristics is one of her strong suits, see.

“I said freelance, Noodle. No one owns me but myself. Don’t worry, I’m not going to turn you in. I was there when you and Mr. Magi threw down the gauntlet.”

“You were?” The professor may have been shocked. Not that I’ll admit it freely again, though, see.

Sweet Sue just looked at me. You know. That look.

“Well,” Clara Higgins huffed, looking at Sweet Sue. “I think you should turn him in! He’s the one that got me involved in this whole thing!”

“Did he really?” Schwarz Tauptinker said, shaking his from side to side and staring at me. “I don’t believe it…”

But he did.

“We better get a move on,” Sweet Sue said. “If you want to get out of Prince Beef’s palace alive.”

And that’s when the cat–who had attacked the guard–jumped back into the basket.

“Ahh, George,” Sweet Sue said. “Where would I be without you?” George looked at her with his eye lids at half-mast and purred loudly enough to scare a grizzly bear.

George and Sweet Sue are un-seperate-able. This is fact. The professor should get a cat.

This is another fact.

I’m full of facts today, I think.

Check it out! A list of cat fats. This just fits somehow...

Check it out! A list of cat facts. This just fits somehow…

Anyways and some, Sweet Sue and George led us through the caverns of the prison until we all popped out in a small forest near the palace.

forst
This professor could see the palace from the forest. Which was neatio. Keeping an eye on things, see. It’s always good to be able to see, double-see.

“Now,” Bud Parker said, folding his arms. “We’ve got to regroup and go back in.”

“What?!” Clara wasn’t happy–she was almost howling.

“We do,” Schwarz admitted. “We need the katana, oh yeah.”

“Schwarz, no,” Gertrude said. “Let’s just go.”

“No, baby sister,” Schwarz replied. “Must. Do. It. Do it NOW!”

“We’ve been trying for it for some time,” Parker said, casting me an ugly look. “PVJ got in the way, though.”

“Look here,” I said.

And everyone did.

I was surprised it worked. Must remember it works that way, see. #MentalNote

“This sort of thing is quite vexing. Let me be frank–“

“I thought you were PVJ,” Schwarz interrupted.

That was a thing.

“Well, then,” I continued, “just let me say this: Originally, this professor thieved the katana in order to stop Prince Beef from having Fats Henry thieve the Diamond of Drake. I thieved to stop thieving. Which sorta makes thieving okay.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Clara mumbled. “It was stupid.”

“Since then,” I continued undaunted by the mumbling, “things have happened. The marriage has been called off.”

Gertrude started to cry here. “There…there…there was going to be a party tonight to celebrate our marriage! But…but…but…then she came along!”

Clara looked away.

“But,” I said, continuing on my professorishly topic, “Prince Beef still wants the Diamond of Drake. Which means, we’re right back where we started at.”

“Bud,” Parker said, “Schwarz and I are moving in. Tonight. We want the sword.”

“Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,” Schwarz agreed. “The Prince is still going to have the party, I’m sure. You don’t have all that stuff prepared just to waste it, tell you what.”

The professor’s mind went like this:

The katana the prince had was fake; but they didn’t know that; they would make a great distraction if this professor needed to go back in tonight; did the professor need to go back in tonight?

I looked at Sweet Sue. Sue looked back at me. We both nodded. And then it became clear.

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102 Responses to “Decisions, Decisions”


  1. 1 Jackie April 27, 2016 at 23:44

    Are people willing to die for chocolate or coffee?

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:30

      Do people truly love chocolate and coffee?

      • 3 Jackie April 28, 2016 at 13:38

        OMG yes!

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2016 at 13:46

        Humph. Really? More than cherries?

      • 5 Jackie April 29, 2016 at 16:35

        I think so yes.

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2016 at 13:42

        But you’re not sure…

      • 7 Jackie May 2, 2016 at 15:11

        Not as sure as I am about coffee and chocolate.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2016 at 12:57

        Have you ever tried those two together?

      • 9 Jackie May 3, 2016 at 13:01

        Oh yes!

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2016 at 13:06

        Well. That’s good. Coffee needs sweetening up, I say.

      • 11 Jackie May 3, 2016 at 13:13

        Absolutely!

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke May 4, 2016 at 13:05

        With cherry sauce.

      • 13 Jackie May 4, 2016 at 13:11

        If you want!

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke May 4, 2016 at 13:25

        Well i might! Never sure for sure, see.

      • 15 Jackie May 4, 2016 at 14:20

        Yes I see and understand.

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 13:01

        Haha.

      • 17 Jackie May 5, 2016 at 13:05

        Hahaha!

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 13:19

        *tries to laugh louder*

      • 19 Jackie May 5, 2016 at 13:23

        *covers ears due to deafening sound*

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 21:19

        I think we just shook the welkin.

      • 21 Jackie May 5, 2016 at 21:32

        Oh my! I do think you are right!

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2016 at 18:27

        Aha! That’s a record for me.

      • 23 Jackie May 6, 2016 at 18:28

        I do believe you are right about that! Congrats!

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2016 at 18:39

        Hey now! Dadblameit

      • 25 Jackie May 6, 2016 at 19:00

        I thought that was s good thing!!?

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2016 at 15:31

        Yes and no. I’m flip flopping, like Donald Trump.

      • 27 Jackie May 9, 2016 at 15:40

        Donald Trump is an abomination!

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2016 at 15:44

        *laughing* I thought you might not like him much.

  2. 29 L. Marie April 27, 2016 at 13:54

    I say ditch Clara and Gertrude first, then go back in. Clara is trouble, and Gertrude cries a lot. Let Sweet Sue take their place.

    • 30 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:25

      Isn’t Sweet Sue something? I think she might body slam me.

  3. 31 walt walker April 27, 2016 at 00:44

    Dick said to tell Schnoddy that people are a number, not an amount. I told him it was rude to even think that, much less speak it, but he raised an eyebrow, and I cowered. I think he’s just being blusterous, and also I think he fancies Sweet Sue.

    • 32 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:12

      That Dick. You know, we’ll have to have him come over again. But you must come with him. Just to make sure he behaves, mind you.

  4. 33 Simply Skeptical April 26, 2016 at 23:00

    What’s clear is that everyone must get a cat! End of story period statement declarative sentence.

    • 34 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:12

      How about a bobcat? Does that count?

  5. 35 John W. Howell April 26, 2016 at 21:57

    YES! You need to go back. (I keep saying this)

    • 36 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:11

      But why? Dadblameit.

      • 37 John W. Howell April 27, 2016 at 13:00

        To get the phony sword and then swap it for the real one.

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:22

        Shouldn’t I just go and steal the real one?

      • 39 John W. Howell April 28, 2016 at 13:24

        Well, yeah. I just thought with all this help you could take the fake (poetic).

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:31

        Oh, I see. Hey! An idea, the sudden. Why don’t you nab the fake, and I’ll nab the real one. *nods*

      • 41 John W. Howell April 28, 2016 at 20:01

        Can I fire my 9mm?

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2016 at 13:59

        Absolutely. Let me see it go.

      • 43 John W. Howell April 29, 2016 at 18:03

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2016 at 13:43

        You’re making me slobber.

      • 45 John W. Howell May 2, 2016 at 15:36

        Get a bib. (and an Uzi too)

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2016 at 12:59

        *laughs* Imagine that. Hopefully there’ll be one in the sub we thieve.

      • 47 John W. Howell May 3, 2016 at 21:06

        Thieve?????? I thought we were buying.

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke May 4, 2016 at 13:21

        Where are we going to find all that money?

      • 49 John W. Howell May 4, 2016 at 14:02

        You’re right.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 13:01

        Rats and a Heifer.

      • 51 John W. Howell May 5, 2016 at 18:08

        R&H for sure.

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 21:28

        Ooo. Loving the abbrev.

  6. 53 Debbie April 26, 2016 at 18:16

    Ooh, a party — what fun! Funny, but I never pictured the Professor as a cat-person. Now that you’ve been properly introduced to Sweet Sue’s George, perhaps that will change (though I’d think twice or more before getting a kitty and letting it become dinner for your two big doggins!)

    • 54 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:11

      Well, the professor has two cats that sorta adopted him, can you believe. See, I’m like snow white, the animals come and find me. Isn’t that a thing?

  7. 55 kedslover April 26, 2016 at 17:36

    Yes, do get a cat. Once you do you’ll be inseparable, you know.

    • 56 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:08

      But what if it tries to claw my eyes out?

      • 57 kedslover April 28, 2016 at 13:43

        *shakes head solemnly* Oh, Professor. You worry too much. But don’t—once you become its person, you’ll have nothing to fear!

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2016 at 13:46

        Haha. You know, I think you could be right. Okay, then. I shall get a bobcat kitten. You know, you can do that.

      • 59 kedslover May 1, 2016 at 18:59

        Oh goody! I very much approve of this plan.

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2016 at 13:51

        Imagine! I can send him after people.

      • 61 kedslover May 3, 2016 at 18:35

        Yes exactly! The fluffy, fiery balls of cuteness are good for several different purposes.

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke May 4, 2016 at 13:20

        Haha, so right. We’ll have to name it Scurvy, or something just as vicious sounding.

      • 63 kedslover May 6, 2016 at 22:40

        *nods* Yes, that seems very fitting. Or if you want it to sound REALLY intimidating, He Who Must Not Be Named is a good fright.

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2016 at 15:34

        Ooo! That is totally spooky, I agree. Can’t even say his name. What a thing.

      • 65 kedslover May 11, 2016 at 19:52

        Tis the point, I believe. It gives me shivers.

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2016 at 01:54

        And me the many shivers.

  8. 67 desertdweller29 April 26, 2016 at 15:35

    I must have missed Sweet Sue’s debut, but I like her!! Though I doubt her sweetness… The Professor doesn’t associate with sweet people, me thinks.

    • 68 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:06

      Well, I do from time to time. Do you think people who work in the ice cream shop are sweet?

      • 69 desertdweller29 April 27, 2016 at 16:35

        Oh, no. It’s a fact that ice cream shop owners only hire grumps that don’t like sweets. Eating profits aren’t good for business.

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:29

        *laughs* That’s such a good point. Is this why I never got an invitation to work at one?

      • 71 desertdweller29 April 28, 2016 at 15:30

        Ah, yes, a sweet tooth can be easily detected. The jovial need not apply.

        My first job was at a cookie store. I was so nice, I gave away cookies and got into trouble. True story!

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2016 at 13:50

        *laughs* That’s hilarious! Did they yell lots?

      • 73 desertdweller29 April 30, 2016 at 17:53

        No, but I was firmly told to stop being so generous! The buggers…

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2016 at 13:48

        See, goes to show you that being stingy is better than being generous. *writes that down in his life book*

  9. 75 FictionFan April 26, 2016 at 15:22

    Wouldn’t it have been easier just to stay? Just sayin’…

    Enjoy the party!

    • 76 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:05

      See, that’s the thing. We should think through plans a bit. Now we have to sneak back in. If you ever plan plans, don’t plan plans like the professor plans plans.

      • 77 FictionFan April 27, 2016 at 16:03

        *nods* I don’t think I have the ability to plan plans like the Professor plans plans, so I should be safe!

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:28

        But I think you do! Why…I know your mind!

  10. 79 Freakishly Fangirlish April 26, 2016 at 14:13

    there’s a poster on my wall that gives you very useful info about how to tell when your cat is trying to kill you XD

    • 80 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:04

      Whoa. Really? *laughing* I need a copy of that poster, of course. It’s good that you do have that, tho. What with your attack cats.

      • 81 Freakishly Fangirlish April 27, 2016 at 14:01

        Yeah, it’s helpful because then I can tell whether they’re being sweet kitties…or plotting my murder…

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:26

        How often do they plot your murder? Goodness.

      • 83 Freakishly Fangirlish April 28, 2016 at 15:53

        It’s pretty often, according to the poster

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2016 at 13:52

        I fear for your life, the sudden.

  11. 85 PorterGirl April 26, 2016 at 14:11

    Aha – I love the idea of escaping and then breaking back in for a party. Very sensible, I say. Besides, Sweet Sue and George will keep you safe.
    I like the cat facts, I shall show those to Terry, although no doubt he will dispute them, as is his way.
    Hurrah for adventuring and partying combined!

    • 86 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:03

      We escape to break in. It’s such a genius plan. Though, now that I think about it. I’m not sure, don’t you know. Terry probably will. The cat facts look somewhat legit to me, I think.

      • 87 PorterGirl April 27, 2016 at 12:05

        I have no doubt it is a work of genius. In and out like a fiddler’s elbow, you are.

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2016 at 12:14

        A fiddlers elbow! What a great thingy right there. I’ve never fiddled, you know, tho.

      • 89 PorterGirl April 27, 2016 at 12:16

        Another of my mum’s sayings, I’m afraid – ‘in and out like a fiddler’s elbow’. Me either – I don’t like things under my chin making a noise!

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2016 at 13:21

        Hahaha. That’s a great way to think on it. A great saying, too. Congratulate your mum for me, please.

      • 91 PorterGirl April 28, 2016 at 16:49

        I do rather like it. I shall pass on your congratulations at once!

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2016 at 13:57

        And a bow, if you will.

      • 93 PorterGirl April 30, 2016 at 08:06

        Two, even!

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2016 at 13:47

        And one of the other ones that girls do.

      • 95 PorterGirl May 3, 2016 at 06:14

        *laughs* I am sure I have no idea what you mean.

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2016 at 13:05

        You know, their version of the bow.

      • 97 PorterGirl May 3, 2016 at 14:16

        Girls use the same bows as boys, you know!

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke May 4, 2016 at 13:10

        Do not neither!!

      • 99 PorterGirl May 4, 2016 at 20:06

        Pah.

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 13:16

        Or hap.

      • 101 PorterGirl May 7, 2016 at 08:32

        Ha!

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2016 at 15:39

        Double-ha.


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