The Jeweled Katana–Found

The adventure never truly ends.

V. Shnodgrate, Renowned PL Poet

UntitledSo, this professor let them go.

Bud Parker and Schwarz Tauptinker went back in for the fake katana.

Of course, they didn’t know it was fake.

But I did.

See, this goes to show you that the professor knows mostly everything but never lets on that he does. #LifeLesson

Anyways and some, Sweet Sue guessed that the katana was fake. She knew. Deep down in.

What the kapoo.

Clara Higgins ran back to her tea shop.

This professor is not sure where Gertrude went, but rest assured, she went.

Now, as for this professor and hisself, I hopped on a plane.

Time for a vacation, see.

I was heading here:

Contrary to popular belief, I do swim with the fishes--sharks.

Contrary to popular belief, I do swim with the fishes–sharks.

See, it was a good adventure (the whole katana thingy) and now it was drawing to a close. What does one do after an adventure? Go on vacation, of course. #LifeLesson

The professor was a Just warrior. This was a truth. After all, I had stopped the thievery of the Diamond of Drake. Prince Beef still wanted it, yes, but it was doubtful that he’d get it. Especially since he didn’t have a lady wanting a ring, see.

Anyways, it wasn’t the professor’s problem anymore.

I was on vacation. Well, almost.

Prince Beef thought he had the Jeweled Katana, but he didn’t. Not that he would care much if he found out.

And this begged the question, like a beggar begging: Where was the real one?

I had misplaced it somewhere along the line.



Yes! Coolness overload.

Yes! Coolness overload.

Oh, what the kapoo. Who cared anyway?

The professor did. Deep down in. Rats and a Heifer!

Now, this is when the interest happened. As I was sitting there, waiting for the plane to take off, King Arthur came and sat down next to me.

“Oh, it’s you,” he said.

“Why, why.” I could think of nothing else.

“Going on vacation, too?”

“Well, yes,” I answered. “After a great adventure one needs to.”

There was silence for a time, times a bit of another time.

“So…” I said as the plane took off. “Where is the real Jeweled Katana?”

“Why would I know?” Arthur looked away.

“‘Cause this professor has been having thinks on it, and I’m thinking you know. That’s when I lost track of it, when I was with you, don’t you know.”

King Arthur sighed. “Why hide it any longer?”

He grabbed his book bag (he had one) and unzipped it.

Inside: the Jeweled Katana.

Well, a miniature one.


“So,” Arthur said. “That’s it. I had it cropped so I could use it. Long swords are hard to use–“(Arthur is really short, remember)–“Then I planted the fake. It was a setup. That’s what you stole.”


Not very victorious, after all.

Arthur laughed. “Sucker.”



“I need a vacation, the sudden, even more. Even if I don’t deserve it, double-the-sudden.”

And that’s when the pilot came over the speakers:

“Hey, honeybuttses, hope you’s all havin’ a good day. I’s your pilot.”

Many greats. If we got to the vacation spot, it would be a fantastic miracle.

Who knew what we were in for with Manly-Man as our pilot?


PL Symbol


80 Responses to “The Jeweled Katana–Found”

  1. 1 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 9, 2016 at 14:58

    *smiling from one ear to the other* (would be hard to smile from my chin to my forehead, you see) So much of this reminds me of the first few years of TPL. No, the journey never really is over, he’s correct. Smart man, him.
    *shy smile* This post makes me happy today and I am thankful to have seen it. I do hope you are on vacation somewhere wonderful, Duke.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2016 at 15:42

      *laughing lots* Good point about the smiling! I never thought much on it, see. Does it really? That’s cool. Like vintage TPL. I dig that. Well, I’m not really…I’m in my office. Listening to the Jurassic World soundtrack. I think someone gets eaten at this part…

      • 3 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 9, 2016 at 22:28

        Yes, vintage TPL, is a great way of looking at it. Quite musing those works…
        Hope you enjoyed the soundtrack and did anyone get eaten?

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2016 at 16:12

        And odd, you must admit. Very odd. Like a volcano.

        It was awesome. I think lots of people got eaten. You would love it.

  2. 5 Jackie May 7, 2016 at 17:21

    I’m happy to hear about the adventure! I would be sad if it ended.

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2016 at 15:39

      Me too. Adventures are life, you know.

      • 7 Jackie May 9, 2016 at 15:41

        Yes absolutely!

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2016 at 15:44

        Two absolutelys even.

      • 9 Jackie May 9, 2016 at 16:01

        Two absolutely’s are better than one.

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2016 at 15:55

        And three is even better, since you can share when you have three.

  3. 11 L. Marie May 5, 2016 at 00:57

    Manly-Man! Yay!!!! So glad he made an appearance (or rather, a voice over).

    Glad Clara is gone at least. She won’t be missed. Not like Manly-Man was.

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 13:18

      Oh yes, he’ll be back in the stories, I think. There’s just so many characters, you know!!

      You didn’t like Clara at all?

  4. 13 walt walker May 5, 2016 at 00:08

    I’m offended by your foul language. What the kapoo?

    • 14 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 13:18

      Well, it’s ugly, I admit. But the professor does have a filthy mouth, you must admit.

  5. 15 Simply Skeptical May 4, 2016 at 22:13

    BRAVO!!! Prof. Manly Man at the helm tis surely a Manly flight. I’m sure he looks cute in a pilot’s cap. :-) Miniature authentic katana’s? Prince Beef deserves a stab in the toe.

    • 16 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 13:17

      Cute? Hahahahahaha. That’s great. I’m sure he does. But I’m leaving. For the caribbean, I think.

  6. 17 John W. Howell May 4, 2016 at 19:51

    Oh dear. I think you are in for a rough ride. How did Arthur get a downsized Katana through security? Oh wait! He owns security. Silly me.

    • 18 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 13:14

      They probably thought it was a plaything, too. Still, tho, he did show some cunning which we must give him a few points for, you must agree.

      • 19 John W. Howell May 5, 2016 at 18:07

        Yes a few points.

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 21:28

        The Pats get lots of points.

      • 21 John W. Howell May 5, 2016 at 21:56

        Pats? Who are the Pats?

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2016 at 18:31

        Dadblameit! You know…the Pats! Double-dadblameit.

      • 23 John W. Howell May 6, 2016 at 22:50

        The guys who play with squishy balls you mean?

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2016 at 15:34

        *laughing lots* I’m going to have a rampage…

      • 25 John W. Howell May 9, 2016 at 20:44

        Yes. That’s what Pats do.

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2016 at 16:08

        Humph noodles to you! And I hope you eat them!

      • 27 John W. Howell May 10, 2016 at 19:20


      • 28 Professor VJ Duke May 11, 2016 at 16:35

        Hahahahaha. Not taking to it, I see.

  7. 29 Heartafire May 4, 2016 at 16:06

    It’s been quite an adventure and now you are off for some exotic get away only to find Jazzy at the controls. I suggest a stiff one and a nap, you do deserve fabulous vacation. Cheers.

    • 30 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 13:12

      It is jazzy! Proud you remember. Haha, good job, I say. Can I have a few naps?

      • 31 Heartafire May 5, 2016 at 14:29

        Sure, sleep all the way so you’ll be ready party when we land.

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 21:24

        After a few stiff drinks, tho.

      • 33 Heartafire May 5, 2016 at 22:35

        Well have no choice but to nap.

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2016 at 18:37

        Two naps, even. I’m already tired. The chat was tiring.

      • 35 Heartafire May 6, 2016 at 19:02

        I missed the chat hungover still tired.

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2016 at 15:32

        *shakes head* How wicked. You must’ve had a wicked sultry night!

      • 37 Heartafire May 9, 2016 at 18:01

        Silver satin. Nothing but the best. :)

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2016 at 16:04

        Are you sure that’s the best? *sings* Nothing but the best is good enough for me…

      • 39 Heartafire May 10, 2016 at 16:10

        Thats what they keep telling me. Let me know what you think.

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke May 11, 2016 at 16:29

        I think I’d rather just live under a rock.

      • 41 Heartafire May 6, 2016 at 19:51

        your must be exhausted. how about a power bar.

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2016 at 15:32

        Yes, please! 2!

      • 43 Heartafire May 9, 2016 at 17:58

        2? Well. Okay

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2016 at 16:03

        Or even 4?

      • 45 Heartafire May 10, 2016 at 16:18

        you are never satisfied. Would you care for a red bull with those.

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke May 11, 2016 at 16:30

        I’ve never had a red bull. Good?

  8. 47 desertdweller29 May 4, 2016 at 15:58

    You should be very afraid of any pilot using the term honeybuttses. I hope you have a parachute. And do watch for sharks. I hear they love honeybuttses.

    • 48 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 13:09

      Do you think a shark would want the professor? I’m so untasty and ugly and mean.

      • 49 desertdweller29 May 5, 2016 at 16:23

        Sharks do like a challenge, I’m afraid.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 21:26

        Dadblame them. If you teach me how to glide…I could avoid the water altogether. *nods*

  9. 51 FictionFan May 4, 2016 at 14:40

    A fabulous ending, sir! Especially the bit where the toadish one ran back to her tea shop – for one horrible second I was afraid you might have gone on vacation with her, but I should have trusted you! I suggest you take that sucker and bop Titchy Art over his tiny little head with it – he deserves it! Imagine cropping the katana! Tchah!

    Well, whether you won or not (and I lost track of what it was you were trying to win exactly sometime back in 1853) you were a mighty warrior and a great hero! *swoons* You must tell us the tale of your vacation – I’ve missed Manly-Man in an odd kind of way…

    • 52 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 13:06

      *bows, tribune thingy* Why thank you, madam! Goodness. Why would I go on vacation with her? She hates me. You should! I’m trustworthy, after all. I think. I hope. I bet. Titchy! Hahahahaha. That’s a funny word. I think you’re right. I don’t know. I think I may just escape and sit on the beach and get sunburnt for a while. But I’ll probably get bothered again. Tis TPL, after all.

      I’m not sure either. It’s such a punchyish story. See, I think there was some sort of plot going on. Getting the katana or something. It’s muddled my brain completely. Of the vacation! But it will be boring. What tale should I tell next?

      • 53 FictionFan May 5, 2016 at 21:55

        You?? Trustworthy?? I think not, Mr Flirty! A small thing like the girl hating you wouldn’t stop you! Anyway she’s probably just pretending – playing hard to get. *growls* Nope, no sunburn! It gives you wrinkles. You should go off on a quest to the Arctic instead.

        Yes, I thought it had something to do with a katana! *nods wisely* And parties. Hmm… I don’t know! I shall wait with excited anticipation to find out, though…

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2016 at 18:29

        I’m as trustworthy as a good smooth stone. *nods* Yup, that’s exactly. Everyone has wrinkles! In the corners of their eyes for one, see. You mean like Iceland! Wouldn’t that be cool?!

        *professorish eye* Maybe about Clara…?

      • 55 FictionFan May 7, 2016 at 00:53

        I bet stones can be quite sneaky – they’re just good at hiding it. Yes, tiny laughter lines can be attractive, but one doesn’t wish to end up looking like a bulldog! *laughs* Very cool! Freezing, in fact!

        Whaaaaaaaaaattttt?!?!?!!!! I thought she’d gone!! You’re obsessed by her, aren’t you?? I fear I may have to stomp on her… or you! *FEFish eye*

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2016 at 15:36

        Now, now. Whatever is wrong with a bulldog? They just slobber a lot, which isn’t that bad, I hear.

        *laughing* No, I just said that to see you get all cranky and fall off your chair. That is, if you fall off your chair for such things.

      • 57 FictionFan May 9, 2016 at 17:50

        I do hope you’re not implying that FF slobbers, sir! Remember the poison book… *grim (but unslobbery) face*

        *gasps* Why, you…!!! I may just have to hit you with the chair!! Schwarzy better be in it. The story, not the chair. Or else…

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke May 10, 2016 at 15:59

        No…I wouldn’t say that…but others might, see…

        src=”” alt=”ohno” />

        I’ll duck, like GK would. Oh, he’ll be in it. And your fav, Amelia might be!

      • 59 FictionFan May 10, 2016 at 19:45

        Hahahahahahahah… *chair wobbles*…hahahahahahaha!!!! Oh, no!!!!!! *falls off chair* Dadblameit! That was soooooo mean to use me as a weapon against myself!! #YouWin

        I’m worried about this whole GK obsession you seem to be developing – you’re not going to use him as your style guru, are you?? Aaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhh!!! Well, she better stay away from my Schwarzy or there’s going to be BIG TROUBLE, do you hear??? And don’t you dare flirt with the reptilian little… reptile!!!

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke May 11, 2016 at 16:37

        *laughs* Oh no! Are you okay? You’re going to have to make sure to have padding underneath you when you…fall like that. But wasn’t I a genius? *very proud of hisself*

        I know. What’s with it? You introduced me to him, tho. So…maybe it’s a bit your fault? No, but how about Wardaddy from Fury? He’s got a cool look. Can I use him, please? Bah, Schwarz wouldn’t like her. She’s like…so wicked. I bet she was a snake in her other life.

      • 61 FictionFan May 11, 2016 at 19:48

        Now you ask! Like you care, sir!! I shall knit myself a special cushion for future attacks! I’m forced to admit that was a piece of prime Professorial genius – you deserve to be proud! *still laughing…*

        Why are you asking me? You’re the one with the… problem! It is NOT my fault? I only showed his pic as a warning… Hmm… well, he’s OK but you can’t change have the sides of your head shaved… and you can’t change your name to Profdaddy!! True! Schwarzy has impeccable taste in women, I’m sure… *impeccable look* I bet she’s a snake in this life…

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2016 at 01:53

        Well, I care the sudden. And that’s a thing, because the professor only cares sometimes, you know. Like a rabbit. You didn’t think I could fight a FEF war with a FEF! I think I know your weakness now in a debate.

        You introduced us! And then put on a picture that looked like me. It’s not my fault he’s trying to look like me. Dadblameit. But…that’s the look! You have to shave the sides. Just a bit, tho. Not that much. Wouldn’t it be odd, tho?

      • 63 FictionFan May 12, 2016 at 17:59

        Awww! That’s worth a bruised posterior then! *laughs* So unfair! But I shall be in my guard now! I’ll knit myself a suit of armour to go with my cushion…

        He does not look like you!! No!! No shaved sides at all! No curls! Except one! Dadblameit! *explodes*

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2016 at 14:13

        A suit of armor! Cool. Knit me one, too, please. That’d be something. I’d wear it to war.

        Explodes! Haha. You’re just like a volcano now.

      • 65 FictionFan May 13, 2016 at 17:41

        I shall knit you a golden one! With your coat of arms on the back – what is it?

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke May 14, 2016 at 22:30

        My coat of arms…I’ve got no clue! Wait. Didn’t you give me one once?

      • 67 FictionFan May 15, 2016 at 17:51

        Did I? I don’t remember. But I suspect it probably would look a bit like this… (*crosses fingers that this works*)

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke May 16, 2016 at 12:39

        Wow… *eyes wide open* Did you make that? That’s so…cool…I’m going to…thieve it! *grabs it* That is now my new thingy. Did you make that?! Whoa.

      • 69 FictionFan May 16, 2016 at 18:07

        *laughs* I hope you noticed the little touch of purple! Haha! Yes, I made it – on a make-your-own-heraldic-crest website, so can’t really take the credit for it. But I’m glad you like it!

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke May 16, 2016 at 18:55

        oh yes you can! I’m going to add it to my bio page, if you don’t mind. I love it lots!!

      • 71 FictionFan May 16, 2016 at 23:30

        *curtseys* Of course I don’t mind – it’s yours to do with as you please!

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke May 17, 2016 at 12:46

        You do the coolest things, you know! I’m putting it up.

      • 73 FictionFan May 17, 2016 at 15:22


      • 74 Professor VJ Duke May 18, 2016 at 13:09


  10. 75 Debbie May 4, 2016 at 14:34

    Cool transport for your vacation, Professor, but I think you could choose better than to swim with sharks! So, Manly-Man’s a pilot — who knew?? I think I need a vacation, too, the sudden. You know, I have to hand it to Arthur — better a short real sword in the tiny hands of a short king than a long fake in the hands of a lonely prince.

    • 76 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 13:03

      Well, I’d hope to fool the sharks into thinking I’m one of them. Not sure how, tho. But I’d try, see. Let’s go on vacation to the caribbean…what do you say?

      *laughs* I love that! Very well put. Art definitely won that round.

      • 77 Debbie May 5, 2016 at 14:18

        Caribbean sounds lovely…you bring the cherries and I’ll bring the chocolate!

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 21:21

        But the chocolate will melt! You’ll have to bring one of those raft thingies, so I can float away onto the thin ice of a new day.

  11. 79 Susan P May 4, 2016 at 14:26

    It is the story that never ends…

    • 80 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2016 at 13:02

      You know, so true. No one can die in tpl do you see.

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Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
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