Oranges are orange; Yellows are…

professor speaks

Okay.

So, there’s this problem, see.

And I can’t understand it for the life of me, double-see.

You must help me out, PF.

Here it is.

I present to you the color orange:

images

And, here’s an orange:

tumblr_lfpoa8GIdg1qc700b

Further, I present the color yellow:

images-1

Lemon-Whole-Split

And that, my fellows, right up there, is a yellow, right? No!

See, it’s a lemon not a yellow.

Where’s the sense in that, I ask?

Where?!

It leaves me bewildered and confused, in truth.

What will aliens think when they get to earth and learn of such things?

Dadblameit.

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117 Responses to “Oranges are orange; Yellows are…”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 June 18, 2016 at 14:40

    We should call limes greens, Professor!

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke June 21, 2016 at 13:18

      You’re right! Much better name.

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 June 21, 2016 at 18:01

        Yes! Then we could have key green pie!

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2016 at 21:01

        That would be epically awesome!

      • 5 erinkenobi2893 June 24, 2016 at 15:44

        It would! :-D And delicious. ;-)

  2. 6 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 26, 2016 at 21:23

    Do you chase your tail, as well? Lemons are yellow, yellow is not a lemon. Maybe.

    • 7 Professor VJ Duke June 6, 2016 at 14:52

      Hahaha. If I had one, I’d bite it off!

  3. 8 A. Mouse May 19, 2016 at 16:23

    This then begs the question: was the fruit named after the color or was the color named after the fruit?

    • 9 Professor VJ Duke May 20, 2016 at 14:25

      Humph. What do you have to go and ask hard questions for, Ms. Mouse?

      • 10 A. Mouse May 20, 2016 at 15:39

        It’s what I do *cheeky grin*

      • 11 Professor VJ Duke May 23, 2016 at 13:18

        Umm…umm… *stutters* Uhh…yes!

  4. 12 Lady Dunamis May 19, 2016 at 00:17

    Okay. I think I have figured this out. The orange is self identifying, hence, calling itself an orange, whereas the lemon is not. Therefore, it cannot be known by its color only. It must have a name.

    That is what you tell the aliens. And if all else fails, tell them not to question it. Just accept it for what it is.

    • 13 Professor VJ Duke May 19, 2016 at 13:00

      hahahahahaha. So, the lemon needs to catch up with the times, you’re saying, then. Just accept it. That’s such a bad excuse and you know it!

      • 14 Lady Dunamis May 19, 2016 at 16:54

        Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I knew you would get that. And yes I know it. It is bad. I shall be punished by being whipped with a wet noodle.

      • 15 Professor VJ Duke May 20, 2016 at 14:27

        A ramen noodle?

      • 16 Lady Dunamis May 20, 2016 at 14:31

        No, a rice noodle. I am gluten free.

      • 17 Professor VJ Duke May 20, 2016 at 14:35

        *laughing* Yes…but that’s why you’d be whipped with a ramen noodle, see.

  5. 18 Simply Skeptical May 18, 2016 at 23:53

    Whoa! Why didn’t I ever think of that? Of course, that’s why you’re the Professor and I’m not.

    • 19 Professor VJ Duke May 19, 2016 at 12:59

      I’m the professor. I teach math and science and brutality.

  6. 20 Jackie May 18, 2016 at 23:14

    Pumpkins are orange, bananas are yellow, tangerines are orange, corn is yellow….the more you think about it the more confusing it gets! Are there any fruits or vegetables that are called yellow? And if not, why not?! Why are oranges singled out?

    • 21 Professor VJ Duke May 19, 2016 at 12:59

      Exactly right! I think someone is playing games. A conspiracy! I tell you it is. We should start calling bananas long yellows. *nods*

      • 22 Jackie May 19, 2016 at 13:10

        YES! I agree, it is a conspiracy!

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke May 20, 2016 at 14:15

        I love conspiracies. Means it’s time for war, usually.

      • 24 Jackie May 20, 2016 at 22:26

        Conspiracies make the world go round!

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke May 23, 2016 at 13:24

        Yes. I need to come up with a few, I’ve decided.

  7. 26 walt walker May 18, 2016 at 22:47

    What about apples? Where is the color ‘apple’?

    • 27 Professor VJ Duke May 19, 2016 at 12:58

      Well, goodness, Mr. Walt. Leave it to you to ask very hard questions. Definitely…green, right? I mean, when a candy is flavored apple, it’s always green apple, don’t you know.

  8. 28 Haylee May 18, 2016 at 17:20

    Can we call satsumas and nectarines and clementines baby oranges then? Or orangelings? There aren’t many other orange fruits of the same size so maybe the world didn’t feel the need to differentiate.
    That said, just because everyone is doing something doesn’t make it right. I mean, perhaps green is really called purple. I’d like a purple lawn… :)

    • 29 Professor VJ Duke May 19, 2016 at 12:57

      Yes, you know, I think we can. After all, satsumas is such a weird name. Good idea, I say. A purple lawn? Wouldn’t you rather a red one, tho?

      • 30 Haylee May 19, 2016 at 13:52

        But it would look like a mighty battle had taken place on it. Besides, bees like purple and I like bees.

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke May 20, 2016 at 14:16

        But…don’t bees sting, tho?

      • 32 Haylee May 20, 2016 at 14:20

        Only if you aggravate or frighten them. They die when they sting so they generally try to avoid it. Wasps on the other hand, nasty critters!

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke May 20, 2016 at 14:34

        Oh yes, I hate wasps! You know, I’ve never been stung?

      • 34 Haylee May 20, 2016 at 14:41

        Me either… I have a fear I’ll go into anaphylactic shock if ever I am :/

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke May 23, 2016 at 13:16

        Me too! Goodness. We just better be more careful.

  9. 36 FictionFan May 18, 2016 at 15:43

    Oh, don’t let it put you into a black mood. Cheer up, eat your greens, play the blues, and have some yellow roses…

    • 37 Professor VJ Duke May 19, 2016 at 12:56

      *laughing* Wait. there are no yellow roses!!

  10. 38 Debbie May 18, 2016 at 15:10

    Perhaps we should banish the word ‘yellow.’ After all, if we call the color ‘lemon,’ everybody seems to know what we’re talking about. Same with ‘red.’ Let’s just call it ‘cherry’ and be done with it! Good points, sir — this demonstrates why you’re the professor, you know…the ability and time to think such profound thoughts!!

    • 39 Professor VJ Duke May 19, 2016 at 12:55

      *laughs* Quite right! Why do we need red, too? Love it. When someone bleeds, we can say: “Look, that chap’s blood is really cherry today. Must be oxygenated.”

  11. 40 Freakishly Fangirlish May 18, 2016 at 13:51

    Don’t question nature. It will only hurt your brain.

    • 41 Professor VJ Duke May 19, 2016 at 12:54

      #Brainhurts I should just declare war on nature, you know.

      • 42 Freakishly Fangirlish May 20, 2016 at 02:02

        Nature would win…

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke May 20, 2016 at 14:30

        What? Beat the professor?!

      • 44 Freakishly Fangirlish May 20, 2016 at 14:35

        Nature beats all…

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke May 20, 2016 at 14:37

        Except fancy professors with bleached hair

      • 46 Freakishly Fangirlish May 20, 2016 at 16:46

        Bleached hair rather defies nature, I think

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke May 23, 2016 at 13:20

        I think you’re right. It’s so…color-less…

      • 48 Freakishly Fangirlish May 23, 2016 at 13:59

        True, true.

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke May 24, 2016 at 12:42

        Is yours purple yet?

      • 50 Freakishly Fangirlish May 24, 2016 at 17:27

        It will be in two more hours! :D

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke May 25, 2016 at 13:16

        You must tell me how you like it!

  12. 52 Susan P May 18, 2016 at 13:42

    I’ve read that some men are color blind. You should check your vision. Those fruits are exactly as advertised.

    I’d like to visit your picture.

    • 53 Professor VJ Duke May 19, 2016 at 12:53

      Now you’re just picking on men, because we’re so #spicy

      • 54 Susan P May 19, 2016 at 14:10

        ’tis a fact nevertheless.

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke May 20, 2016 at 14:16

        I’ve decided to de-fact facts.

      • 56 Susan P May 20, 2016 at 19:05

        Is that a fact?

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke May 23, 2016 at 13:22

        Maybe half a fact?

      • 58 Susan P May 24, 2016 at 13:13

        That will work.

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke May 25, 2016 at 13:06

        Well, that’s perfect, then, I say

      • 60 Susan P May 25, 2016 at 13:20

        At last. We agreed on something.

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke May 25, 2016 at 13:23

        Let’s get a trophy

      • 62 Susan P May 25, 2016 at 14:11

        And a medal.

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke May 26, 2016 at 14:05

        A silver one? No, no. Titanium!

      • 64 Susan P May 26, 2016 at 14:26

        Who will get that for you?

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke May 26, 2016 at 14:32

        Umm…some girl?

      • 66 Susan P May 26, 2016 at 18:15

        Nice. Does she have a name or what?

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke June 6, 2016 at 14:45

        No, she’s nameless right now.

      • 68 Susan P June 6, 2016 at 16:45

        That is sad. It’s like no one cares.

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke June 7, 2016 at 13:18

        No one seems to. Which is goody.

      • 70 Susan P June 7, 2016 at 14:03

        How can that be?

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke June 8, 2016 at 13:11

        It’s possible, you must admit.

      • 72 Susan P June 8, 2016 at 13:58

        Barely.

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:01

        Barely and an inch, even.

      • 74 Susan P June 9, 2016 at 18:13

        Do you think I can be fooled?

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke June 10, 2016 at 13:33

        Maybe every so often?

  13. 76 PorterGirl May 18, 2016 at 13:39

    Actually, the original pronunciation and spelling for the fruit orange was ‘norange’. It was only later that it became synonymous with the colour. So you have language evolution to blame for your consternation, dear chap.

    • 77 Professor VJ Duke May 19, 2016 at 12:53

      Haha! You genius you. How cool is that? From now on, this professor decrees: Oranges shall be known as norange. *nods*

      • 78 PorterGirl May 19, 2016 at 15:56

        It’s a much better word, I think!

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke May 20, 2016 at 14:24

        It is! Sorta sounds like norad.

      • 80 PorterGirl May 20, 2016 at 15:25

        Ha! It does.

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke May 23, 2016 at 13:17

        Crazy similarities.

  14. 82 TheCrazyBagLady May 18, 2016 at 13:38

    it makes sense as the earth is blue like an orange…

    • 83 Professor VJ Duke May 19, 2016 at 12:52

      #ProfessorBrainFreeze But isn’t the earth blue and green?

      • 84 TheCrazyBagLady May 19, 2016 at 21:41

        Hahhaaaa. Is the earth bluer when it is next to a blueberry or is the earth bluer when it is next to an orange?

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke May 20, 2016 at 14:29

        Well…next to an orange?

      • 86 TheCrazyBagLady May 20, 2016 at 16:27

        If that’s what the professor says then it must be true!

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke May 23, 2016 at 13:19

        Haha. ‘Cause professors are always right, right? Double-right.

      • 88 TheCrazyBagLady May 23, 2016 at 19:17

        That’s correct. I believe the professor is always right.

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke May 24, 2016 at 12:43

        Mostly right. Like, every other day right.

      • 90 TheCrazyBagLady May 25, 2016 at 19:36

        To be honest I have forgotten what we’ve been rambling on about. Haha. I have a memory of a sieve 😂

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke May 26, 2016 at 14:25

        And I’m so old I always forget.

      • 92 TheCrazyBagLady May 26, 2016 at 16:19

        haha That’s my excuse!

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke June 6, 2016 at 14:41

        But you can’t use it anymore, see. I just thieved it from you.

      • 94 TheCrazyBagLady June 7, 2016 at 21:42

        Sharing is caring professor

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke June 8, 2016 at 13:25

        Huff and a hum, you know.

      • 96 TheCrazyBagLady June 8, 2016 at 16:09

        Tsk tsk. You must learn to share

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:07

        Rats. All the time?

      • 98 TheCrazyBagLady June 9, 2016 at 17:33

        I can’t expect you to learn to share overnight so let’s just start with this one. Baby steps professor :)

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke June 10, 2016 at 13:28

        Baby steps? I’ll have you know I’m around 88 years old, madam.

      • 100 TheCrazyBagLady June 10, 2016 at 14:26

        It’s still never too late. You can now take grandpa steps. Same difference.

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke June 12, 2016 at 14:43

        I’m going to throw a water balloon at you.

      • 102 TheCrazyBagLady June 13, 2016 at 01:23

        Haha you have spirit old man

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke June 13, 2016 at 12:43

        I’ve got the spirit of a zebra!

      • 104 TheCrazyBagLady June 13, 2016 at 21:14

        What spirit is that of a zebra? Elaborate please. 😃

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke June 14, 2016 at 13:11

        Does a zebra have a spirit?

      • 106 TheCrazyBagLady June 22, 2016 at 11:02

        I don’t know if a zebra has spirit. What do you think?

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2016 at 21:04

        A professorish zebra might

      • 108 TheCrazyBagLady June 23, 2016 at 15:28

        You are possibly right :)

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2016 at 15:06

        The professor is always right

      • 110 TheCrazyBagLady June 25, 2016 at 16:36

        Yes Professor!! ;p

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke June 26, 2016 at 17:32

        Why not ‘no professor’?

      • 112 TheCrazyBagLady June 26, 2016 at 17:42

        i dont like contradicting the professor.

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke June 26, 2016 at 19:02

        Because he’s always right, see.

  15. 114 desertdweller29 May 18, 2016 at 13:22

    Your speaks, speaks the truth. It shall be renamed to Yellow. The name “lemon” will be banished. (I believe the king of PL can do what he pleases, no? This has upset you on more than one occasion.)

    • 115 Professor VJ Duke May 19, 2016 at 12:51

      Wait…am I the king of TPL? *proud face* I’ve never considered it that way before, you know.

      • 116 desertdweller29 May 19, 2016 at 15:29

        Be careful, good sir. Every king must have a queen. You may be forced into marriage with a wretch!

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke May 20, 2016 at 14:20

        Oh no. The professor is not a king, tho. I’m more like…like…like…a weed, maybe? Weeds don’t need girls, see.


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