So, the professor was in a bookstore.


And I was wearing jeans, a sports coat, and red shoes. (That’s important.)

Also, my eyes were shielded from the blinding book lights, by great sunglasses. #cool

All in all, I was in spy-mode.

Now, the funny thing was this: A chap came half walking, half sprinting towards me. His goal: the restroom. And he was wearing jeans and red shoes, too! (Boogie-wu.)

Amazing. I didn’t dwell on it, though.

See, I was looking about. From book to book.

Picking one up, then throwing it away just as quickly as I had picked it up–if it didn’t suit my fancy, which many didn’t.

I was getting into the process, too, when I was approached by a disgruntled older man.

“What’s the idea?!” he hollered in my face, swinging a book back and forth.

“Excuse me a few hundred times?” How dare he?

“You think slop like this is acceptable?!”

And he threw a book down on the table:


“Ohhhh…” I said.

“Yeah!” he stormed. “Exactly. How dare you! Jane Austen wasn’t respected in her day, and she sure is [bleep] respected now, is she? How dare you!”

I was quite shocked, I must admit.

A male Jane Austen fan? Wonder of wonders!!

“Look here,” I said, “I’m surprised you like JA. But you’ll be pleased to learn this fact: I didn’t write that book.”

And I nodded a few times.

His face grew redder.

“Do you think I’m an idiot?”

“You mean because you read Jane Austen? No need to feel that way.”

“Let me make myself clear–“

“Please,” I interrupted, “’cause you’re sorta cloudy at the minute.”


“How dare you carry this book in your store! It’s idiot small business owners, like yourself, who let this kinda thing happen!”

“I’m the owner?”

That caught him for a second. He paused, even.

“The woman at the front said I’d find you back here… You and your horribly, ugly red shoes. That’s what she said.”

I just stared at him; he stared at me, still glowering.

Owner? Wow. I could play with this.

But then, the chap who came sprinting to the restrooms earlier came out of the restroom. I looked at his red shoes, then understood.

“He’s the chap you want,” I said.

And I made my getaway.

Moral: Don’t wear red shoes when the owner of a bookstore is wearing red shoes.

Lesson: Not learned


177 Responses to “Mistake-d”

  1. 1 Heartafire June 16, 2016 at 21:25

    so good!

  2. 3 erinkenobi2893 June 8, 2016 at 21:52

    But what if the guy in red shoes was actually the Tenth Doctor? ohhhh plot twist! But the Doctor would deal with that guy very well, methinks ;-P

  3. 22 L. T. Garvin, Author June 5, 2016 at 17:16

    I have been known to haunt bookstores, and I even have a pair of red shoes, ha ha. The JA scenario reminds me of the final weeks of high school in history when I had to show the kids an Abe Lincoln film to learn a thing or two. They responded that Abe Lincoln, Vampire Slayer, was actually much better. Great blog!

  4. 30 bardictale June 2, 2016 at 20:45

    You know, he called your shoes ugly.

  5. 42 L. Marie May 27, 2016 at 12:31

    Is that a Barnes & Noble? (Yes, I’m finally back online after being off for weeks. Long story. But it didn’t involve shoes.)
    Love the red shoes! Sorry you were mistaken for the owner. But really you should have made the guy’s mistake more profitable for yourself. For example, you could have pointed out another book the guy could buy, then told him to give you the cash for it.
    Nice to see some male Jane Austen fans. I once saw a movie adaptation of one of Jane’s novels with two male Jane Austen fans. :-)

  6. 46 Simply Skeptical May 27, 2016 at 10:39

    It’s not fair. All you ever want to do is mind your own business and be cool. What’s wrong are you magnetic or something? Always attracting trouble. Of course, it could be that sweet innocence that betrays you.

  7. 48 PorterGirl May 27, 2016 at 06:48

    I have made a note about the red shoes thing – I have a couple of pairs of red shoes. Although my mum says a lady shouldn’t wear red shoes – in her day (she says) there was a saying – ‘red shoes, no knickers!’ So I can only make the obvious assumption about you and this other red-shoe-wearing fellow. Pride, Prejudice & Zombies! My friend Matt is in that.
    Nice sunglasses, by the way.

  8. 83 InfiniteZip May 27, 2016 at 01:43

    OH…my…God….trade in those red meds for purple already….and BTW, JA rocks! Yeah….really, bet she wore purple too…and I bet she carried a katana beneath her bloomers….and I bet she kicked A**!

  9. 93 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 26, 2016 at 21:02

    I was under the impression you said anything you liked without care or concern…and red shoes only always make sense.

  10. 95 Debbie May 26, 2016 at 20:55

    Okay, Professor, I’ve never read Pride and Prejudice; nor have I read a zombie book. Somehow, I can’t imagine combining the two — and that cover photo gives me the creeps! However, I totally LOVE those red shoes! It was just your misfortune to be wearing the same getup as the owner. Glad you sped off when you could!

    • 96 Professor VJ Duke June 6, 2016 at 14:50

      I ran like the wind!

      *laughs* You should check it out! I think, tho, it’s something Domer would like more. We’d laugh at all the action and whatnot. It’s totally a take over of her stuff, which is cool, you know.

      You’re the first one who suggested getting them!

  11. 97 JunkChuck May 26, 2016 at 20:28

    Love this. I’m a gruff old rural American male, big and bearded, 4-wheel drive owning, literature-majored ex jock gone to seed, and I like Jane Austin. I and I liked the Zombie books, too. Especially that one. Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters wasn’t quite up to the quality of the first one, I’ll admit.

    • 98 Professor VJ Duke June 6, 2016 at 14:49

      Haha! I’ve never heard of the sea monsters one…but I enjoyed the trailer lots! See? Way better than JA. Imagine if JA actually put some action in her books. I’m sure you know what I mean.

  12. 99 Jackie May 26, 2016 at 19:15

    Those shoes are so cool! I wear similar ones.

  13. 103 John W. Howell May 26, 2016 at 18:38

    Enjoyed the story. You can mock anything you please.

  14. 118 Susan P May 26, 2016 at 18:32

    You mocked the Austin?

  15. 136 FictionFan May 26, 2016 at 16:29

    The Professor was in a bookstore?!?!?!?!!!!! Ah, in spy-mode! Of course! For a moment I thought perhaps… but no, that would be silly! A male Austen fan, eh? An attractive thought… *considers swooning* I shall surely follow your fine advice on not wearing red trainers, though… always!

    • 137 Professor VJ Duke June 6, 2016 at 14:43

      I was going back and forth throughout it. I’m actually quite the reader, you know. In fact, I read a book a year, now that I think on it. What did you think?

      Hahahahaha. A trainer! No, you should get green. That’s your color, after all.

  16. 138 A. Mouse May 26, 2016 at 15:40

    Ha, people are always getting their panties in a knot over nothing. That’s why I’m glad I’m actually a Mouse. *nibbles on some cheese*

  17. 152 Heartafire May 26, 2016 at 14:55

    “Excuse me a few hundred times?” Please tell me I can use that! I love JA, I have seen P and P 25 times now, it sucks but in a fascinating way. (she did write that, right?). Carry on with your bad shoes and cool sunglasses.

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