Click here to read the first few stories in the tale of “The Sweet Cherry Incident.” (Just scroll down.)

It’s said, “History is the greatest teacher,” but this can’t be. Great teachers are heeded, prophets aren’t. It should be, “History is the greatest Prophet.”

V. Shnodgrate, Renowned PL Poet

UntitledSo, Manly-Man was going to the be the pilot of my intergalactic flight.

Oh yay.

Of course, maybe he was just wearing the pilot uniform for kicks and giggles.

There was hope, see.

The White Tree of Gondor. You didn't hope was symbolized by a white flower, did you? Neither did I. Peter Jackson, you visionary.

The White Tree of Gondor. You didn’t know hope was symbolized by a white flower, did you? Neither did I. Peter Jackson, you visionary.

Anyways and a few, I reached Space Dock 10.

Well, sorta.

See, once you get to the dock, you get in line–a long line–and you start making your way up to the docking station.

The line moves like a tiny crawler. Very slow. In fact, so slow, you think you’re barely moving at all.

There’s not much talking–which is a surprise, you must admit. Everyone is sorta hushed. (Their nervousness hushed them up, I bet.)

Plus, there’s a loudspeaker that’s constantly going, in a monotonous voice, too:

Once you reach the docking platform, please be patient while Intergalactic Flight 10 is prepared for launch. Make sure to stow any carry-ons in the net below your seat. If it doesn’t fit, sorry, you’ll have to lose it, bub.

Sorta what the line looked like. Only we were going up and up, see. The lighting was pretty much the same.

Sorta what the line looked like. Only we were going up and up, see. The lighting was pretty much the same.

And so on.

The wait wasn’t too bad, overall, see. There were huge flat screens throughout the line that showed all sorts of interesting footage. Mostly nature footage. With a few waterfalls thrown in.

I suppose it was a calming effect. The professor is already so calm, though, see.

Eventually, we made it to the docking station.


The voice was still going, but I ignored it.

Here’s the thing: Voices that keep going and keep saying the same things, should be ignored, see.

If you have to say the same thing over and over, it must not be important. #ProfessorLesson

Plus, there were attendants everywhere, making sure we got the things that needed done, done. Somehow–and I’m not sure how–we were all split up into individual launch groups, and lined up in front of many doors. The doors all had the number 10 glowing (in yellow) above them, but other than that, the room was completely dark. (There were some blue and purple LED lights that lit up the floor, though.)

No one was talking now.

This professor was nervous. But then, I’m always nervous about something. Dadblameit. Wait, no. I’m calm. Calm. That’s it. Can’t be contradicting myself.

We waited.

Tick tock went the clock.

“That’s the worst part, too,” a girl said behind me, as if she was having speaks with herself.

I turned.

So, okay. This lady was very nervous.

She was perspiring lots, see, and quite jumpy. Every time there was a noise–a cough, laugh, or some such thing–she’d jump, and wipe her stringy brownish-red hair from her eyes.

Her round glasses were fogging up, too, which reminded me of an invention that I’d come up with but hadn’t invented yet. (Isn’t that just it? We’re all inventors. But what separates us from the real ones is that we never invent what we imagine.)

Glasses that came complete with…windshield wipers!



Anyways, I said: “What’s the worst part? Don’t worry about it, madam. These flights aren’t bad at all.”

I lied. This was my first intergalactic flight, see. Well, I didn’t lie, I suppose. Maybe stretched the truth a little–which is good for it. Makes the truth more elastic, see. Then it can be what anyone wants it to be. *nods*

She shook her head and hugged her huge briefcase closer to her small body.


“No, no,” she said, “not the launch. Launches are easy.”

Then her pained and worried expression broke, and she laughed.

“But I can tell that this is your first! No one who’s been on them before call’s them flights. They’re launches. As you’ll soon see.”

Our conversation was interrupted at that moment.

There was a loud ding, and then the voice returned:

When the launch door opens, proceed to your launch chair. Stow items in the basket below the seat. Good launch to you.

Another ding, and the door opened.

PL Symbol


123 Responses to “Launch!”

  1. 1 L. T. Garvin, Author June 9, 2016 at 14:15

    A launch, so exciting! I think the truth should be elastic too, ha ha. Windshield wiper glasses, I can’t tell you how many times I needed those when I lived on the coast, the humidity, you know. Can’t wait to see how it goes when you reach your destination.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:15

      IKR? Those sort of glasses would be soooooooo useful. Once you get a pair, ship some to me, please. And a thank you.

      Elastic truth! Do you suppose you could eat it?

      • 3 L. T. Garvin, Author June 9, 2016 at 19:11

        You might have to eat it at some point is my guess, lol.

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke June 10, 2016 at 13:37

        I wonder if it would be dinner or dessert…

  2. 5 L. Marie June 9, 2016 at 13:13

    I also swooned at the mention of Manly-Man. An intergalactic trip sounds exciting. But so much could go wrong! Have you seen The Martian??? *nods significantly*
    Love the glasses. I could use a pair, especially in winter.

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:15

      I have! I lovvvvvvvvvvvved the Martian! What’d you think?

      That MM. You like him, huh?

      • 7 L. Marie June 10, 2016 at 14:50

        Loooooooooved The Martian too!!!!
        MM is, well, manly. :-)

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke June 12, 2016 at 14:45

        In fact, I wanna go to Mars!

  3. 9 John W. Howell June 8, 2016 at 20:49

    Cool beans.

    • 10 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:14


      • 11 John W. Howell June 9, 2016 at 17:52

        Down there.

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke June 10, 2016 at 13:30

        Uh-huh. Just like I thought.

  4. 13 erinkenobi2893 June 8, 2016 at 20:25

    Oh, this sounds rather worrisome!

    • 14 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:13

      Isn’t it, tho? You better come along.

      • 15 erinkenobi2893 June 12, 2016 at 03:54

        I shall! Only I shall be taking my TARDIS. I don’t like being launched places by other people. It’s a control issue.

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke June 12, 2016 at 14:58

        I didn’t know you had one of those!!

      • 17 erinkenobi2893 June 13, 2016 at 03:27

        I do, rather! It can travel anywhere in time or space, and even to parallel universes!
        (Also, I rather love your new avatar. Very classy. :-D)

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke June 13, 2016 at 12:44

        NO way! I’m going to have to borrow it for about…10 years…if that’s okay. (Thank you! It’s the hat, I think.)

      • 19 erinkenobi2893 June 13, 2016 at 14:06

        I don’t know if that would work, Professor! You don’t know how to operate it, you see. (It needs a Time Lord to work properly–telepathic symbiosis, you know. Some of the calculations for coordinates and navigating the time/space vortex take two brains–and a human one lacks the extra processing space that’s needed. However, I can help you out for 10 years as long as we come right back to the moment after we left!)
        Indeed, it must be the hat!

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke June 14, 2016 at 13:07

        Okay, deal. But you have to teach me how to use it on my own. I’m sure I could learn!

      • 21 erinkenobi2893 June 14, 2016 at 14:55

        I don’t know. Temporal mechanics is not a simple affair… I could give you some lessons, but it would be risky.

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke June 15, 2016 at 14:36

        Hm. I’ll just thieve it then!

      • 23 erinkenobi2893 June 15, 2016 at 16:17

        She might stay put, though. To annoy you. She has a mind of her own.

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke June 16, 2016 at 14:21

        That’s what I feared

      • 25 erinkenobi2893 June 16, 2016 at 21:10

        Indeed. She can be rather tricky sometimes.

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2016 at 14:50

        Dang it

      • 27 erinkenobi2893 June 17, 2016 at 21:37

        You can literally tell it was the Time Lords who designed her–they are the definition of devious.

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke June 21, 2016 at 13:16

        We should hunt them all down

      • 29 erinkenobi2893 June 21, 2016 at 18:05

        I’m afraid we can’t. They all got locked up in a pocket universe, see.

  5. 30 Simply Skeptical June 8, 2016 at 20:09

    OOOOO this is terrificly exciting!!! Look forward to hearing from you on the other side of the launch Prof. SQ :-)

    • 31 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:12

      SQ! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  6. 32 Lady Dunamis June 8, 2016 at 17:38

    Schnodgrate is so deep. Man, that got me thinking…

    And I read you were having a deep moment yourself PVJ. You see I work with people who look like adults and for the life of me can’t understand why the manager has to tell them to quit talking so much and look busy if the work load is low. En-tee-way, I think they need to take a trip, a dock trip that is and launch into some common sense.

    Thank you for the free TPL therapy session 😝

    • 33 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:11

      Is that good?

      You’re welcome as usual! *bows* I’m a therapist now! Kinda cool, you know. Launch into some common sense! Hahaha. I love that.

  7. 34 Heartafire June 8, 2016 at 17:29

    I’m green with envy…or maybe it’s the sake. Do try to communicate with us once you have reached your destination. Pic #2 looks a lot like the entrance and slowly moving gateway to Space Mountain. Wave if you can see me down here.

    • 35 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:10

      Space Mountain! Take me, will you? Now, you should come on a launch. But I warn you, lots of strange things up here.

      • 36 Heartafire June 9, 2016 at 17:15

        I will take you with me next time I go on space mountain, but no crying or waving your arms about. I am packing a lunch for launch-time, PB & J and cream soda and some dramamine or dill. :)

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:17

        Yes you must! Okay, it’s a deal. Can I roar, maybe? Dramamine…what’s that?

      • 38 Heartafire June 9, 2016 at 17:18

        it’s a surprise.

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke June 10, 2016 at 13:28

        I love surprises!

  8. 40 InfiniteZip June 8, 2016 at 17:09

    but what if there’s a failure to launch? I know they made a movie about that…once…

    • 41 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:09

      You mean if I blowup? Hope you’re there to rescue me, right?

      • 42 InfiniteZip June 9, 2016 at 18:50

        But of course…but you won’t blow up….might tip over but not blow up😉

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke June 10, 2016 at 13:35

        You know, that only helps a bit, you know.

  9. 44 Susan P June 8, 2016 at 16:39

    I am shocked and cannot believe this. Next you will be bringing in singing mice.

    • 45 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:09

      Now what have I done? I thought I was being good.

      • 46 Susan P June 9, 2016 at 18:12

        And now you are confused. *sigh*

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke June 10, 2016 at 13:32

        Help me un-confuse, please.

      • 48 Susan P June 10, 2016 at 13:41

        That is not my job. You should ask some of the other contestants.

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke June 10, 2016 at 13:48

        Maybe it’s your new job? You’ve been promoted ,see

      • 50 Susan P June 10, 2016 at 17:44

        You must be mistaken.

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke June 12, 2016 at 14:48

        The professor never is!

      • 52 Susan P June 14, 2016 at 12:55


      • 53 Professor VJ Duke June 14, 2016 at 13:14

        Never is…cool?

  10. 54 Nancy Loderick June 8, 2016 at 16:16

    Hey Professor,

    A new launch – how exciting. Into space no less! I can’t wait to read what happens next. :)


    • 55 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:07

      Would you launch into space?

      • 56 Nancy Loderick June 9, 2016 at 21:01

        Well Professor,

        I don’t think so. It is too confining. I love to take walks and that’s not really possible in space. Unless, of course, one dons a multi-million dollar space suit. Too much work. :)


      • 57 Professor VJ Duke June 10, 2016 at 13:40

        But imagine the fun of floating upside down!

  11. 58 FictionFan June 8, 2016 at 15:42

    I simply don’t believe you!!!! On your way to the most exciting thing ever – a launch into space – and what do you do??? Start flirting with the nearest female!!! Good noodles, sir, I hope the alien women out there know what’s heading their way!!! Assuming Manly-Man knows how to work the controls, that is…

    Shnoddy is particularly profound today – he must have been meditating. *nods wisely*

    • 59 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:06

      What’s heading there way? A professor, of course. Now, look here, Aravis, all I did was have speaks with her. She needs a shower. I think she’s in trouble, too.

      I never mediate. I should, but I don’t. #dull

      • 60 FictionFan June 9, 2016 at 20:20

        Yes, a Professor of Flirtology! However, if they’re telepathic, they’ll have advance warning of your nefarious technique…

        *nods* As #dull as a burning comet blazing a golden trail across the dark night skies!

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke June 10, 2016 at 13:40

        Oh no. I can block my mind waves so no one can sense them. #cool Isn’t it?

        A burning comet? I knew I was dying. Which planet shall I land on?

      • 62 FictionFan June 10, 2016 at 17:37

        Are you sure that’s ‘cos you block them, or is it just that you don’t emit any… *wonders*

        Oh no, burning comets aren’t dying! They’re just seeding planets with the stardust that will eventually create intelligent life! So you should land in America… *runs off laughing wickedly*

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke June 12, 2016 at 14:48

        You know, I don’t think I emit any. Yes, that’s it. I told you I was dull to the point of tears.

        Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Though we need super evolution to get from stardust to intelligent life.

      • 64 FictionFan June 12, 2016 at 20:18

        *nods* Like a teardrop glistening on the radiant face of a mother as she looks at her new-born child… (Haha! Sorry about that one! If it’s any consolation it kinda made me feel a bit queasy…)

        So true! But keep hoping – you’ll get there one day… *kind face*

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke June 13, 2016 at 12:41

        *laughing lots* Where do you come up with these at! But I actually quite liked it. Not that I was connected to it, tho.

        Humph noodles to you! I’d rather be stardust. *nods and dusts around*

      • 66 FictionFan June 13, 2016 at 17:08

        Ah, your poor mother probably thought you were adorable when you were just born… *shakes head sadly*

        *gasps* No, don’t dust! You might wipe out an entire species!

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke June 14, 2016 at 13:10

        Yes, but see? We both know I wasn’t. I was filthy.

        That’s okay. Survival of the fittest. And Brock is pretty fit, you must admit.

      • 68 FictionFan June 14, 2016 at 16:33

        *nods* It was nice of her to keep you really…

        *laughs* I do not must admit at all! At all! Brock is as fit as… a pumpkin! (But not as good-looking…)

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke June 15, 2016 at 14:39

        You know, she says I was given to the wrong mom at first. I think that made her mad. Almost switched at birth! Haha.

        *laughing* Pumpkins aren’t nice looking!

      • 70 FictionFan June 15, 2016 at 19:45

        *gasps* Maybe you’re not you, then!! Maybe you’re actually the son of a left-wing liberal music-hating anti-gun campaigning atheist!!

        Poor pumpkins! That was so cruel…

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke June 16, 2016 at 14:39

        *laughs* Goodness! Music hating? Does anyone hate music? That’d be awful. The music bit. I think I could take care of the other bits. *nods*

        They taste horrible too!

      • 72 FictionFan June 16, 2016 at 19:30

        Haha! Well, I’m glad you prefer atheism to music-hating at least… *chuckles*

        Poor pumpkins! They’ll get their own back on you at Hallowe’en…

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2016 at 14:49

        Now, now. I haven’t given up on you, you know. I never give up. *nods* I’m sorta like a slug climbing a mountain that way. Just keeps going, you know.

        Oh dear. Did you see the Conjuring 2?

      • 74 FictionFan June 17, 2016 at 20:33

        *laughs lots* Will you eventually wear me down? It’s exciting, isn’t it? I can’t wait to find out…

        No, but funnily enough they were just talking about it on TV – I think it’s just come out over here. Is it good?

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke June 21, 2016 at 13:14

        Well, I’m not sure. I’d like to think…one day! But then, you seem pretty decided about everything.

        It was pretty creepy! I liked it. There’s this creepy nun in it.

  12. 76 Debbie June 8, 2016 at 15:37

    Ooh, a launch — sounds exciting, Professor. I’m not entirely sure what MM’s role is (maybe he just hands out sodas??). And the girl with the briefcase and the stringy hair? She might be up to something. You probably should find out. Hope your stuff fits in that net-thingy!

    • 77 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:06

      I think he’s the pilot, can you believe. Not that I know where the pilot sits.

      Okay, so the girl. To be trusted or not?

  13. 78 Freakishly Fangirlish June 8, 2016 at 15:36

    *le gasp* My brother and I came up with the idea for glasses with windshield wipers when we were in elementary school. Afraid that’s already patent, by us. So sorry. ;)

    • 79 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:05

      Goodness! Are you sure? Sell it to me for five cents or I’ll…thieve it!

      • 80 Freakishly Fangirlish June 9, 2016 at 19:45

        It’s too late. We already drew up the prototype and blueprints…

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke June 10, 2016 at 13:39

        *thieves it*

      • 82 Freakishly Fangirlish June 10, 2016 at 18:27

        *le gasp* shame on you! that was our retirement money!

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke June 12, 2016 at 14:51

        I know…hey. I’m wicked, right?

      • 84 Freakishly Fangirlish June 12, 2016 at 18:12

        Well… you did just ruin my little brother’s and my childhood dreams….

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke June 13, 2016 at 12:39

        Oops. Sorry. Can I offer you an ice-cream or football?

      • 86 Freakishly Fangirlish June 13, 2016 at 18:09

        I’ll take the ice cream, my bro will have both, thank you very much

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke June 14, 2016 at 13:11

        Humph. I’m being nice, you know!

      • 88 Freakishly Fangirlish June 14, 2016 at 20:59

        How can u be when you’re so wicked? XD
        Per your suggestion, I made a new blog! :D And I actually posted on it haha… ugh.

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke June 15, 2016 at 14:42

        *fist thingy* Good job, madam! Link, link! I demand the link.

      • 90 Freakishly Fangirlish June 15, 2016 at 19:11

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke June 16, 2016 at 14:32

        Haha. Love the name. Just requested access!

      • 92 Freakishly Fangirlish June 16, 2016 at 17:26


      • 93 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2016 at 14:40

        You’re not allowed to bow!

      • 94 Freakishly Fangirlish June 17, 2016 at 22:59

        *bows again out of spite*

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke June 21, 2016 at 13:17

        Dang it. *bows too*

  14. 96 PorterGirl June 8, 2016 at 15:25

    Some very wise-sounding words from Shnodgrate to start us off, here. I assume they are wise, I am not bright enough to really know.
    Anyways – this is most exciting! Perhaps the girl is worried about her stringy hair. Flights can do that to a lady’s mane, you know. Goodness knows what a launch might do. Anyhoo. I bet that whatever is in her huge bag is what’s worrying her. It’s probably drugs or something like that.
    Good to see MM making an appearance – and in a uniform, too! *swoon*

    • 97 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2016 at 17:04

      *laughing* Of course you are! Back to math for you, madam.

      Drugs! Maybe it’ll be enough for me to start my empire? Drug empire? Maybe. She was really nervous about something. And she needed a shower, you know. Goodness.

      Swooning for MM! That’s great.

      • 98 PorterGirl June 10, 2016 at 06:07

        Maths! *shudders* the vilest of the vile. I shall cook a ham instead.
        Yes! Quick, get the drugs to Pizza Hut at once. Soon we will be able to retire to Spain.
        It’s only to make DS jealous, you understand.

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke June 10, 2016 at 13:44

        Oh no. That’s cheating. None of that.

        *laughs* Right. Pizza hut! Okay. Only, peru is the new destination, mind.

        DS? You still like that bloke, I see.

      • 100 PorterGirl June 11, 2016 at 12:37

        But who doesn’t want a nice ham? I’m cooking one, I say.
        Peru would suit be nicely, I say. Tis perfect. I shall pack jungle clothes *laughs*
        I sort of got angry with him when he didn’t adopt me.

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke June 12, 2016 at 14:57

        You should send him hate mail! Jungle clothes again! *laughs* I’m thinking about Maine now, you know. Lots of snow, see.

      • 102 PorterGirl June 13, 2016 at 06:19

        Jungle clothes would not be good in Maine. But the cold weather might kill off the bugs. I shall visit Maine on the way to Peru, I am thinking.

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke June 13, 2016 at 12:46

        And maybe capture a few mooses?

      • 104 PorterGirl June 13, 2016 at 13:22

        Good plan. I could maybe ride a moose.

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke June 14, 2016 at 13:06

        That’d be fun! You’d have to get a saddle, I think.

      • 106 PorterGirl June 14, 2016 at 13:41

        Probably – I bet their backs are bumpy. I could hang swords off the antlers.

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke June 15, 2016 at 14:35

        Hahaha. Swords! And they could ram things for you!

      • 108 PorterGirl June 15, 2016 at 15:10

        That would be handy. Especially if I was to taking up breaking and entering. Also they could move fat people out of the way.

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke June 16, 2016 at 14:17

        Which you’ll probably take up since we’re going into the drug business. That’s true. No long would you have to go around…

      • 110 PorterGirl June 17, 2016 at 05:16

        We need a car with huge wheels!

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2016 at 14:55

        And red seats

      • 112 PorterGirl June 17, 2016 at 15:26

        Oh man yes. Gotta have red seats.

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke June 21, 2016 at 12:59

        With a big V somewhere

      • 114 PorterGirl June 21, 2016 at 13:27

        On the bonnet. And on each of the wheels.

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2016 at 20:49

        Bonnet. What a novel word.

      • 116 PorterGirl June 22, 2016 at 20:51

        The… Hood?

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2016 at 21:04

        Is that a movie?

      • 118 PorterGirl June 22, 2016 at 21:07

        *laughing so much* what do you call the front bit of a car that covers up the engine?

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2016 at 14:30

        Oh no, you’re right! The hood. Sorry.

      • 120 PorterGirl June 26, 2016 at 08:33

        Bonnet sounds like a kind of hat.

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke June 26, 2016 at 19:01

        A girly one, tho

      • 122 PorterGirl June 27, 2016 at 03:58

        One with a bow.

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke June 28, 2016 at 13:16

        Right, right

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Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

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