Crashing Safely is Key

They say you fear what you don’t know. It’s true: I’ve always feared history class.

 V. Shnodgrate, Renowned PL Poet

UntitledSo, here’s the thing: There’s a first time for everything.

Which is kinda true. See, there’s a first time for everything, individualistically speaking, mind you.

For instance, the professor was on an intergalactic flight that was going down.

First time for me.

But I’m sure it wasn’t the first time something like this had happened.


(Real really quick: the professor actually search for “intergalactic flights wrecking” and the above picture is all I got. Possibly, then, this intergalactic flight going down was a first all around.)


Anyways and some, Flight #10 was going down.

And I was on it.

That was a dadblame problem.

The Briefcase Lady was gone.

And the briefcase was still there.

That was another dadblame problem.


See, she told me to take the briefcase if something happened.

Now, that’s really quite a thing. See, sounds like some sort of super-epic spy plot. And, of course, the professor wanted no part of it. (I’m boring, remember.)

So, I did the only thing that should be done:

I searched the briefcase quick as a non-wink–since not winking is faster than winking, you know–found nothing but a jar of sweet cherries, and thieved them right away.


It was a Score 1 for the professor. I love cherries. At least, I had something to eat before I died. Yo.

And I was about to start on those cherries, when Manly-Man’s voice blared through the speakers:

“Hey, we’s going to make a crash landing. Please hold on.”

And hold on, I did.

Now, the remarkable thing is this: Flight #10 did crash, but it wasn’t fatal. Points to Manly-Man on that one.

When we did sorta touchdown on Honi Planet, there were lots of celebrations (even some dancing) from the passengers.


Touchdown dance

The professor didn’t dance, mind you.

So, once the flight was landed and everything, all the passengers were taken into custody by the Honi Police to answer some “questions”.

Go figure.

See, here’s the thing: Apparently, you’re a villain if you survive an almost disaster.

I put the sweet cherries in my pack–for later.

Still, points to Manly-Man on saving the day, see.

PL Symbol


107 Responses to “Crashing Safely is Key”

  1. 1 L. Marie June 16, 2016 at 13:02

    Of course Manly-Man would save the day. He’s Manly-Man! Though . . . he did crash on the planet. But I’m sure there was a good reason for doing so.
    Hope you guys avoid being eaten by something on that planet. Though the cherries might go well with that.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke June 16, 2016 at 14:43

      I think he’s mad you know. That he got shot down. I think he might go crazy, you know further. Hey! The cherries are not to be eaten. Just yet, mind.

  2. 3 Lady Dunamis June 15, 2016 at 14:29

    I’m concerned in spite of what was going on you had an appetite. There’s a plot afoot! You and the briefcase lady are in cohorts.

    Did my eyes deceive me? Was that a Patriot? Lol! 😴 Must be a dream

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke June 15, 2016 at 14:43

      I am not! I’ll have you know I didn’t know her till I knew her on the plane, which means we never knew each other at all prior to knowing each other! How’s that?

      *laughing* Gronk!

      • 5 Lady Dunamis June 15, 2016 at 15:18

        Hmmm. I think I believe you….

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke June 16, 2016 at 14:19

        I am a honest bloke, you know

      • 7 Lady Dunamis June 16, 2016 at 15:01

        Now I am starting to have doubts.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2016 at 14:34

        I do tell an epic lie, tho

      • 9 Lady Dunamis June 17, 2016 at 15:08

        Yes! lol

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke June 21, 2016 at 12:57

        I could get in A in that class

  3. 11 Simply Skeptical June 14, 2016 at 23:37

    Of course Manly’s the MAN! A crash landing and the cherries were safe too!

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke June 15, 2016 at 14:42

      Well, for now. I might eat them, see.

      • 13 Simply Skeptical June 15, 2016 at 20:30

        How could you possibly eat at a time like this???

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke June 16, 2016 at 14:40

        Well, helps the nerves, see

  4. 15 John W. Howell June 14, 2016 at 18:40

    Whew good thing. Glad you got the cherries and didn’t lose a limb.

    • 16 Professor VJ Duke June 15, 2016 at 14:40

      I was quite lucky. Would you like a cherry?

      • 17 John W. Howell June 15, 2016 at 19:40

        Um. I’ll pass thank you.

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke June 16, 2016 at 14:35

        Dang. You won’t take one now

      • 19 John W. Howell June 16, 2016 at 21:56

        Um. Well do you have a Manhattan? If so you can drop one in there.

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2016 at 14:53

        *laughs* I lost mine

      • 21 John W. Howell June 17, 2016 at 19:07

        Darn.Well how about a hot fudge sundae?

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke June 21, 2016 at 13:03

        I’d like one of those. With a cherry please

      • 23 John W. Howell June 21, 2016 at 15:34

        Order two. One for me as well.

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2016 at 20:53

        Your wish is my command. Goodness. I sound like a genie now.

      • 25 John W. Howell June 22, 2016 at 22:59

        If so I’ll take a million. (Dollars that is)

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2016 at 14:39

        Yes, yes. What else?

      • 27 John W. Howell June 24, 2016 at 19:46

        A hot fudge sundae with cherry.

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke June 26, 2016 at 17:31

        Two cherries, you mean.

      • 29 John W. Howell June 26, 2016 at 18:39

        Sure. Then to the gym.

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke June 26, 2016 at 19:02

        And run ten miles.

      • 31 John W. Howell June 26, 2016 at 19:25

        After you

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke June 28, 2016 at 13:14

        Hmm. No, you!

      • 33 John W. Howell June 29, 2016 at 01:31

        Really, I insist.

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke June 29, 2016 at 13:16

        *professorish eye*

      • 35 John W. Howell June 30, 2016 at 03:56

        *Eye roll*

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2016 at 11:17

        Hey, hey none of that!

  5. 37 Debbie June 14, 2016 at 17:12

    Props to MM for saving the day! Sure, you crashed, but everybody was okay, right? And that’s not something easy to accomplish in a crash.

    A jar of cherries? That’s all the stringy-haired girl had in that big briefcase? Professor, are you sure??

    That happy dance ranks right up there for all-time best happy dances…ever! I’ll have to study that so when the next wonderful thing happens I can imitate it.

    • 38 Professor VJ Duke June 15, 2016 at 14:40

      Exactly that’s what I was thinking! *nods*

      I know…! Yes, it is! Do you think there’s something maybe hidden in them? Aha! I bet so. Or something else.

      *laughing* Yes you must! You’re now an honorary Pats fan.

  6. 39 erinkenobi2893 June 14, 2016 at 16:46

    Be careful, Professor! There might be something nefarious about those cherries.

    • 40 Professor VJ Duke June 15, 2016 at 14:39

      Ooo! Do you think they’re cameras?

      • 41 erinkenobi2893 June 15, 2016 at 16:16

        Or they might be… drugged!

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke June 16, 2016 at 14:20

        No! Well, good thing I didn’t eat them!

      • 43 erinkenobi2893 June 16, 2016 at 21:11

        I brought some safe cherries though. I love the fresh kind, rather!

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2016 at 14:50

        Oh thank you! *gulps a bunch down and spits out the pits like a machine gun*

      • 45 erinkenobi2893 June 17, 2016 at 21:27

        That’s quite a trick! Can you do a V.R. like Sherlock Holmes?

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke June 21, 2016 at 13:14

        Oh no. But I’d like to learn!

      • 47 erinkenobi2893 June 21, 2016 at 18:06

        It should be easy. You just spit them out at high speed and aim at the wall.

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2016 at 21:02

        I’ll try…

      • 49 erinkenobi2893 June 23, 2016 at 23:56

        That looks good, Professor! ;-)

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2016 at 15:07

        Gee thanks! I think I”m getting it

      • 51 erinkenobi2893 June 24, 2016 at 20:52


      • 52 Professor VJ Duke June 26, 2016 at 17:31


      • 53 erinkenobi2893 June 27, 2016 at 03:54

        <\:-)x (matt smith emote X-D)

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke June 28, 2016 at 13:15

        That’s pretty good. Digging his bowtie.

      • 55 erinkenobi2893 June 28, 2016 at 14:38

        Bowties are cool :-P

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke June 29, 2016 at 13:03

        They’re the absolute best!

      • 57 erinkenobi2893 June 30, 2016 at 02:59


  7. 58 Heartafire June 14, 2016 at 16:37

    I’m so glad to hear you survived the crash landing, I knew MM was not up to actually “landing”. The touchdown dance was the upside to this, would not have wanted to miss that. The cherries are obviously significant, if not I bake a mean cherry pie.

    • 59 Professor VJ Duke June 15, 2016 at 14:39

      Now, that’s Gronk, you know. Are you a Pats fan yet?

      I know, right? But at least I didn’t die, right?

      • 60 Heartafire June 15, 2016 at 15:45

        Gronk it is (may I borrow that word?) I love Gronk, I am a Pats fan, but must stay loyal to my Dolphins, they are trying…in more ways than one.

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke June 16, 2016 at 14:19

        *laughs* You can! Well goody. I’m glad to see you’re a bit of a Pats fan, you know

      • 62 Heartafire June 16, 2016 at 14:39

        They are gronking swell.

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke June 16, 2016 at 14:45

        Now that is a great word!

      • 64 Heartafire June 16, 2016 at 20:12

        see! yes, it works very well.

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2016 at 14:49


      • 66 Heartafire June 17, 2016 at 15:01

        speechless, thank you god.

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke June 21, 2016 at 12:57

        I talk too much, huh?

  8. 68 PorterGirl June 14, 2016 at 13:46

    That’s quite a striking dance, it reminds me of my Nan at Christmas when she has been at the sherry. Not so much the body armour, although never say never. A crash landing is quite a thing, I am quite proud of MM for at least making sure it wasn’t fatal. Now – I bet those cherries are important in some way. I bet when you get questioned, there will be trouble. I am thinking you should have eaten the evidence quick-smart.

    • 69 Professor VJ Duke June 15, 2016 at 14:36

      Hahaha. Your family get togethers must be so entertaining! So, a touchdown dance! Now that is something. She’s like the Gronk, then. Cool.

      But what if they’re dangerous? Like…what if they’re aren’t cherries? (Quick-smart is awesome, btw.)

      • 70 PorterGirl June 15, 2016 at 15:12

        Just don’t mention rude word Scrabble…
        There should be a dance for every occasion – like when dinner is ready, or getting a haircut, going to the toilet – all these things need celebratory dances, I say.
        That’s a good point – see, when I see food I just eat it without thinking. It’s amazing I haven’t been poisoned.
        (Please do use it at will!)

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke June 16, 2016 at 14:18

        Oh no. I’d need to see her and you in action doing that. It would be something, I’m sure.

        Hahahaha. For going to the toilet? My goodness. I wonder what that one would be like.

      • 72 PorterGirl June 17, 2016 at 05:16

        I shall demonstrate! *does the dance*
        One does wonder. I might have to make up a dance especially.

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2016 at 14:55

        That’s good then. I never dance of course

  9. 74 FictionFan June 14, 2016 at 13:32

    Saving the day?!? He crashed!!! I expect he was distracted – maybe he was practicing his touchdown dance. *giggles at the dance*

    Now, I do think you were exceptionally brave to be thinking of stuffing yourself with cherries as near-certain death loomed. At least, I think brave is the word I’m looking for… But because I’m psychic, I suspect there may be more to this jar of cherries than meets the eye… I suspect the Professor has just got himself into another fine pickle!

    Poor Shnoddy! He sounds as if he needs some chocolate to cheer himself up. (But he can’t have mine!) *giggles at the dance again*

    • 75 Professor VJ Duke June 15, 2016 at 14:33

      (That’s Rob Gronkowski, btw. A Patriot. *smiles proudly*) But he didn’t kill me, did he?

      *laughs* Of course it was brave! I mean, look, cherries would probably make one even braver, if ingested. Why do you think she had cherries in her bag? Goodness.

      Haha. You really liked that, didn’t you? Can I have a piece of your chocolate?

      • 76 FictionFan June 15, 2016 at 19:26

        (The Gronk!! *giggles at how the name just so doesn’t go with the dance*) You’re too forgiving! He nearly killed you! You should challenge him to a duel!

        I don’t know but I’m worried! I mean, everyone knows about the Professor’s cherry addiction – do you think someone is deliberately setting you up? Tell you what, drain the cherries, coat them in chocolate and send them to me for… er… safe-keeping!

        Hehe! It’s so… unGronkish! *gasps* A piece of MY chocolate?? Well, of course, I’d have liked to give you a piece but… *looks round for a hiding place*… I fear it’s all gone!

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke June 16, 2016 at 14:34

        (But of course it does! That’s a normal Gronk move right there, I’ll have you know!) You must watch more Pats games. But…I think he’d win! Him being so manly and all. Maybe a guitar duel.

        But what if they’re poisoned? You’d eat them all up and die. No, I bet hold onto them. I can control myself, see. I’ll figure this out right and proper and soon and proper.

        *laughs* That shocked you, I see. Did you let Tuppence get into it again?

      • 78 FictionFan June 16, 2016 at 19:19

        (Well he can’t be called The Gronk any more then! We’ll have to call him Twinkletoes!) Oh, nonsense! You could take him with one of your famous triangles!

        You? Control yourself?? Who was attempting to stuff them down mid-crash then??? Hmm… well, I hope you can but previous experience suggests you’re more likely to complicate things even further… *shakes head*

        Tuppence wouldn’t dare go near my chocolate stash!! *growls*

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2016 at 14:45

        No, no! Must be Gronk. That was the Gronk spike, too, by the way. Haha. I’m just not that flexible. I mean, I’m working on it, tho.

        Hey! I can control myself. From time to time. When everything is just right, mind. Haha. Well, then, what should I do??

        I would, tho. I’d thieve some.

      • 80 FictionFan June 17, 2016 at 20:18

        Eh? What’s the Gronk spike? Sometimes I wonder if we’re the same species… Well, I’m sure MM could help bend you into shape!

        Goodness, I don’t know! But I suspect you’d benefit from Schwarzy’s great wisdom and tactical skill… AND STAY AWAY FROM GIRLS!!! *shakes head despairingly*

        Aha! But then you’d set off my anti-Professor security device… *shudders*

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke June 21, 2016 at 13:09

        A spike! You know, after he gets a touchdown (which is a score, see) he takes the ball and spikes it into the ground. Which is just…you know…throwing it as hard as he can on the ground. That’s a spike, see.

        Girls don’t stay away from me! That’s why I hide, see. Like a mole or something. You should keep them away from me, please.

        Ooo, what’s that?

      • 82 FictionFan June 21, 2016 at 16:50

        *laughs lots* American football is so funny! It’s so… American!

        *laughs lots more* Poor Prof! It must be just terrible to be such a babe-magnet! Me?? What do you think I’ve been trying to do for the last million years???

        I’ve surrounded my stash with hordes of gorgeous, flirty girls…

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2016 at 20:58

        It’s brilliant! Pats are starting up again soon! #excited

        Girls give the oddest looks. I think next time, I’ll tackle them. I would, if I wasn’t so dignified. See! I told you I was around a millions years ago.

        *runs* I’ll run from that!

      • 84 FictionFan June 23, 2016 at 00:58

        Is Tom still with them?

        *laughs* When did you become dignified? That sounds like no fun! You should just give them odd looks back – that’ll scare them off!

        *punches air*

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2016 at 14:52

        Of course! He’s not going anywhere. He’s the team QB!

        Hey! *laughs* Well…last…last month I became dignified. Yeah, that’s it. No, then they’ll think I’m you know what.

        You should’ve seen me in jits yesterday! I was submitting like crazy. *proud*

      • 86 FictionFan June 25, 2016 at 18:50

        #GoBrady then!

        Haha! Well, don’t be dignifed too often – you might stick that way! What? Crazy? Flirting? Dehydrated?

        *laughs* Is submitting a good thing then? It doesn’t sound Professorially heroic somehow…

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke June 26, 2016 at 19:00

        #GoBrady! Digging the new hashtag. Wow. Pretty cool. We’ll have to tweet this come fall.

        Yes, flirting! I’m sure of it. The little beasts.

        Oh, I see how you could read that… It’s a GREAT thing. Means other people had to tap out.

      • 88 FictionFan June 27, 2016 at 12:11

        Oh, do you still know how to tweet? I thought you’d forgotten… *quizzical eyebrow*

        *laughs* I don’t think that’s what you meant at all, at all, at all…

        (It’s like a different language!) So you mean you were making other people submit to you? *impressed*

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke June 28, 2016 at 13:25

        Me? Forgotten? Why’s that? *professorish eyebrow*

        It is! If you give a girl a strange look they flirt with you. #truth. That’s why it’s best to hide. *nods*

        I was! Well, they tapped out. ‘Cause you don’t want to hurt anyone. Tapping out is submitting. We don’t choke people out…on purpose, haha.

      • 90 FictionFan June 28, 2016 at 17:02

        Oh… nothing! *innocent face*

        Perhaps they’re just being kind… *winks kindly and chuckles*

        Don’t want to hurt them?? Well, what on earth is the point of choking them then?! *cancels lessons and stomps off*

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke June 29, 2016 at 13:12

        What are you up to now! I tweet…sometimes! Wait…did you unfollow me? Wicked.

        Of course that’s what it is… *laughs*

        They’re our brothers! It’s for the outside world, mind.

      • 92 FictionFan June 29, 2016 at 18:08

        *laughs* I did – ages ago! You stopped tweeting me centuries ago, so why would I want to ‘listen’ in on your chit-chat with your friends? Feels like eavesdropping… I get notified of your posts on the blog and youtube by e-mail.

        You choke your brothers??? Cool! I must try that on WOB…

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2016 at 11:13

        *mouth drops to China, which is very far, btw* You actually did! Why. How dare you! Oh, you just have to jump into conversations on Twitter. It’s what I do all the time. Well, I’ll start tweeting you then…and messaging you on FB. *evil laugh*

        Oh you know what I mean!

      • 94 FictionFan June 30, 2016 at 19:02

        *laughs lots* OK, OK, I’ve re-followed you!! I could never be so rude – anyway you’re usually flirting! Do tweet! Don’t FB! Or else I’ll start sending you ten thousand word e-mails… *threatening face*


  10. 95 Susan P June 14, 2016 at 13:19

    I’ve got a bad feeling about this….

    • 96 Professor VJ Duke June 15, 2016 at 14:31

      But why? I’m in charge, see. What could go wrong?

      • 97 Susan P June 15, 2016 at 21:05


      • 98 Professor VJ Duke June 16, 2016 at 14:40

        I’m being laughed to scorn

      • 99 Susan P June 17, 2016 at 21:35

        You deserve it.

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke June 21, 2016 at 13:16

        But why?

      • 101 Susan P June 21, 2016 at 17:51

        Why do I have to tell you?

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2016 at 21:00

        Because…I’ll give you a cherry sucker!

      • 103 Susan P June 23, 2016 at 12:40

        Black cherries?

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2016 at 15:05

        They are the sweeter ones aren’t they?

      • 105 Susan P June 27, 2016 at 11:43

        If they are not marinated in lemon juice.

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke June 28, 2016 at 13:17

        Why would you do that?

      • 107 Susan P June 28, 2016 at 19:29

        I’d do something with limes.

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