Fighting But Not Fighting

So, yes, I know: I’m horribly off schedule, but mind: Schedules exist to be broken, that’s what makes them schedules.

Whoa. That was deep.

Consider that the proverb for this episode.


This professor was with Manly-Man, who had just knocked senseless the Honi officer fellow.

You know, the one who had done something to Starlet–I mean, Starling.

At least, I think he had something to do with something that had maybe happened to her.

We were in this room:

This was it. Blah, right?

…with the Honi Officer unconscious on the floor.

I was carrying my jar of cherries, though, so all good on the professorish front.

“Time to go,” I repeated.

“Let’s do it, honey,” Manly-Man replied.

Then quicker than a winking noodle, we opened the door.

It was unlocked, see.

Now, being the exceptional thinker that I am, it was around this time that it dawned on me:

“Yo. I bet someone saw you knock that fellow senseless. I bet they’re onto us.”

Manly-Man ignored me.

He was like that, see.

We were in a hallway.

And there was nobody about.

Nobody at all.


I looked twice, thrice–still nobody.

(That’s the key, see. Always look thrice. Things pop up on the thrice look.)

And sure enough, things popped up. #LawofThrice-s

Lots of things, actually.

The hallway was crowded with figures in yellow space-looking suits. More lithe than a spacesuit, but still.

They were carrying some sort of evil-looking device.

“We better run,” Manly-Man said.

And he took off, without so much as an answer from me.

Just left me to die, in other words.

I caught up with him, of course.

Manly-Man rounded a corner and threw open a door.

It thudded shut behind us.


“We’s safe.”

“I think for the min–“

I stopped.

See, that’s when this professor saw Starling. You know, the harried lady from the international flight, the one with the big bag.

She was doing great.

Well, I lie, just a bit.

It wasn’t the whole Starling I saw.

Just her head. #NotRad

And it was looking pale.

I suppose headless heads look pale. #ProfessorishTheory

Notice how pale the head is. Then again, the body is, too. theory isn't holding up too well.

Notice how pale this fellow’s head is. Then again, the body is, too. Hmm…my theory isn’t holding up too well.

But we didn’t have time to think on things.

The door blasted open.

Yes, blasted.


Only Strider didn’t come in.

All those space suited fellows did.

They raised their guns.

This professor, of course, instinctively reached for his katana. Gone. It was gone! I nearly cried on the spot. I didn’t have it with me. All I had were the cherries, see.

Manly-Man’s suit came up.

(Yes, MM has a suit…sorta like IronMan. It’s part of what makes him so manly. Manly-Man’s suit is more bulky, though, and blue and dark gray. Now you know. Very powerful, is the manly one.)


*sigh* Love IronMan. But Spiderman would beat him. No arguing with me, children.

So, I was weaponless and everyone else had weapons. I felt sorta…sorta…like this:


One of the mean space dudes raised his weapon and shot me.


I was paralyzed on the spot, from the shoulders down.

The jar of cherries hit the floor. But the jar didn’t break! Dadblame plastic. Why is everything made out of plastic these days? Plastic that looks like glass, and even feels like glass. Double-dadblameit.

Manly-Man fought and blasted and fought, killing bunches, I think.

Then again, since I was laying prostate–ahem, prostrate on the floor, I can’t be sure. (My face was puppy-wards, tho. So not really prostrate.)

The floor view, see, wasn’t exciting.

A couple suddens later, I was picked up and moved by the evil space-fighting-crazy-mean-yellow-Honi dudes.

Not rad. Rats and a Heifer. Dadblameit. Maburnit. *cussing vocab exhausted*

PL Symbol


63 Responses to “Fighting But Not Fighting”

  1. 1 PorterGirl June 27, 2016 at 06:06

    Shame that the lady was headless – although actually, if it was just her head you saw than actually she was body-less. At least she didn’t lose her head over the situation – HA! Sorry, I’ll stick to the day job.
    I am pleased to hear that the cherries are okay, I was getting worried. MM is so manly. I have had an idea for a wife for him – Womanly Woman. Romance is in the air, see.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke June 28, 2016 at 13:17

      *laughs* That was actually pretty good! So, did they cut her head off or her body off? That’s the question then. And you must solve it, now that you bought it up.

      What would she be like?

      • 3 PorterGirl June 28, 2016 at 13:20

        I think I would say that the head and body were separated indefinitely – that’s the way to look at it. Hopefully both bits can go on to live happily ever after in their new state.
        She would be – womanly. Probably making tea a lot and worrying about people catching colds. Is that womanly? The feminists are going to destroy me now.

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke June 29, 2016 at 12:57

        Or they might decide to rot, which is probably what they’ll do. How disagreeable is that? Goodness.

        Bah. Don’t worry about the feminists. That whole thing isn’t doing well in America right now. Thanks to Steven Crowder.

      • 5 PorterGirl June 29, 2016 at 13:21

        Pah. I hate it when things just rot. So very lazy. Imagine if I did that. People would complain.
        Oh good-o. I shall immediately relocate to your shores, in that case.

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2016 at 11:00

        *laughing* Yes! People would get so cranky. They might start asking you to bury yourself or shower more often, I bet.

      • 7 PorterGirl July 1, 2016 at 14:59

        People already ask me that, quite frankly.

  2. 8 Simply Skeptical June 24, 2016 at 17:34

    What happened to Manly? AND the headless fellow in the chair happens to be a female fellow ahh you knew that Prof. just concerned about the coloring huh? Of course, a bit of cherry juice could help that. BTW I hate that most food is now stored in plastic too!

    • 9 Professor VJ Duke June 26, 2016 at 17:30

      Plastic is good for your soul. That’s how they used to make batman, mind. Fellow can be used interchangeably, I’ll have you know.

      • 10 Simply Skeptical June 28, 2016 at 22:45

        oh yes I do remember that we are all fellows in Prof. speak. And plastic can seep into your food in ways that are yucky.

      • 11 Professor VJ Duke June 29, 2016 at 13:15

        But didn’t you chew on plastic soldiers as a kid? Must be safe.

  3. 12 Susan P June 23, 2016 at 16:50

    I hope you have had lessons in whatever you are doing.

    • 13 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2016 at 15:07

      I haven’t…of course. Maybe I need Sweet Sue?

      • 14 Susan P June 27, 2016 at 11:42

        Why of course. What fun!

      • 15 Professor VJ Duke June 28, 2016 at 13:17

        She’d fetch the whole situation out.

      • 16 Susan P June 28, 2016 at 19:28

        I’d be careful.

      • 17 Professor VJ Duke June 29, 2016 at 13:14

        I usually try, you know.

      • 18 Susan P June 29, 2016 at 14:59

        You could get into trouble. Wait. You are always in trouble. Carry on.

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2016 at 11:04

        It’s normal, quite right. Haha. I’m so wicked.

      • 20 Susan P June 30, 2016 at 13:50

        What does your mother say about you being wicked?

  4. 21 Lady Dunamis June 23, 2016 at 16:37

    Seems to me you need the strength of Tarzan. Start swinging off trees and what not. They won’t be able to handle you. Besides you might look more manly than Manly Man, if that’s what you are aiming for.

    • 22 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2016 at 15:07

      I don’t want to be him! Tarzan swings in the trees with Gorillas. IT’s a lie, I tell you

      • 23 Lady Dunamis June 24, 2016 at 15:46

        Oooohhh so Must be challenging your inner Hector.

        I agree. We know it’s a lie. But it makes for a great movie. I’m gonna see this Tarzan movie and I thought I saw him fighting jungle orcs.

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke June 26, 2016 at 17:28

        And Sith. I’m also a Sith.

        I thought it looked great, too! I’m a jungle orc, you know.

  5. 25 Debbie June 23, 2016 at 14:43

    Professor, I hope MM blasts the lot of these Honi fighters before they come to decapitate you and make you and Starling matching bookends!

    By any chance, did some of those cherries remain in the plastic jar? If so, perhaps you can still use them as a weapon (assuming, of course, that these fighters can’t tolerate cherries. Or their seeds.)

    By the way, can you explain puppy-wards? Don’t think I’ve ever heard that expression before. You pick up all sorts of strange and fanciful terms when you travel, don’t you?!

    • 26 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2016 at 15:06

      Goodness. *grabs neck* Don’t say such things!

      Haha. That’s a good idea! Especially if something is wrong with the cherries, you know. Like poisoned or something. I shall do it. If I ever get them back. Dadblameit.

      *laughs* You never heard of that, really? Did I make it up? I thought it was…

  6. 27 L. Marie June 23, 2016 at 13:52

    Very exciting! Starling is quite startling.
    Manothunder, you get shot a lot! Don’t you have other weapons? (The jar of cherries could have been used as a weapon!)

    • 28 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2016 at 15:05

      I was weaponless! I’ll have to find something dastardly to use right away! I think she…how do you think they did it?

  7. 29 HotBottoms June 23, 2016 at 10:47

    Nope. Not arguing. Not for a moment. But Iron Man.

    • 30 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2016 at 14:54

      What? What? What? No!

  8. 31 walt walker June 23, 2016 at 00:49

    Leaving a man behind to die is not very manly. But the man who catches up with that man, he’s muy macho.

    • 32 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2016 at 14:46

      Does that mean I’m your macho? *buys walt a drink*

  9. 33 FictionFan June 22, 2016 at 22:59

    (A bedtime story! I like this idea! From now on, please post a story at this time every night. *nods* Thank you.)

    *gazes at Aragorn and sighs*

    See, if you know that looking thrice makes things pop up, then it seems silly to do it! You could have just looked twice, wandered away quite happily and eaten your cherries. Just sayin’…

    Ms Starling isn’t looking very well at all, but I’m glad she’s maintained an elegant posture. No need to allow one’s standards to slip just because of a little decapitation.

    *gazes at Aragorn and sighs*

    Does a puppy-wards face mean a wet nose and your tongue lolling out? ‘Cos if so, I’m not sure that would be your best look. Just sayin’…

    *gazes at etc., etc.,*

    • 34 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2016 at 14:43

      (*laughs* I will! I mean, I might. I’m losing track of time. Help! Send me a package with my beanie and some cherries, please.)

      But doesn’t that mean I would miss what pops up on the third pop up? Then again, you have a point. I see what you’re saying. But see here, how can I eat cherries at a time like this?

      Doesn’t it make you wonder how they removed her head? Makes me wonder. Must’ve been sudden, you know.

      *laughs and shakes head* I need his sword, the sudden.

      It’d make me look more like a monster, tho… Yes, haha…that means sorta…just….like, flopped about, if that makes sense. Surely I didn’t invent it? *goes off to search*

      • 35 FictionFan June 25, 2016 at 18:11

        (Hey! Where were you last night? *stomps about a bit, puts on beanie and eats cherries*)

        Well, perhaps, but wouldn’t you rather miss what pops up? Though of course we’d all much rather you were in imminent peril rather than just fine! Oh, if you can eat them while in the midst of a space crash, a mere bit of paralysis and almost certain painful death shouldn’t stop you!! Wuss!

        Euwww, I hope so! Wouldn’t it be terrible if they’d sawn it off, slowly…

        Oh, believe me, it’s more than just his sword… *gazes dreamily into the distance*

        Impossible! It might actually make you look cuter… big puppy-dog eyes! And fluffy, of course. *laughs* I suspect you did, you know, you know – it’s very Professorish…

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke June 26, 2016 at 18:48

        (No, no! You were supped to send them to ME! Dadblameit. I was… I forget. My memory is fading with everything else, see.)

        I’m such a wuss. This is so unfair. You wouldn’t call Batman a wuss, would you? Consider me like Batman. And Spiderman. Put together. Cool.

        That’d be awful! I bet that’s how Marry and Elizabeth did things. *shudders*

        *laughs* Hm. I don’t want to think about what that means! *hides eyes*

        I do not have puppy dog eyes! I think they’re greenish brown with red lenses. That sounds awesome, doesn’t it?

      • 37 FictionFan June 27, 2016 at 11:57

        (No story… no beanie! And certainly no cherries! *stern face*)

        But which bits of each? Batman’s hat is better – it’s the ears. But Spiderman has cool boots. On the other hand Batman gets to wear a cloak. But on the other hand Batman has to put up with Robin. But on the third hand Spiderman is a bit… sticky! Nah, I think you should be Profman! And I’ll design you a dinky little outfit all of your own… *thinks*

        Queens are so brutal!

        *laughs and blushes* Well… let’s pretend I meant his eyes…

        Awesome! For a frog! Oh, you do! But it’s not your fault…

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke June 28, 2016 at 13:20

        (That’s not fair! I was probably up to something dastardly. And could write one!)

        *laughs* No! I want to be Spiderman, the sudden, please. Spiderman and Iron Man. And maybe Ant-Man. Yes, I could be Ant-man. He’s got a pretty cool suit, you must admit. In fact, design it for me, please. Yes. Awesome. Yo.

        I can’t even see his eyes! *sighs and shakes head*

        I’m a frog! So, I can’t have dog eyes.

      • 39 FictionFan June 28, 2016 at 16:41

        (Life isn’t fair! And I feel it’s my duty to teach you this lesson. *nods sententiously* Dastardly, huh? But you look so innocent…)

        Ant-man? *laughs* What’s his superpower? Walking about really fast with hundreds of his mates? Hmm… quite cool, but not as sexy as Spiderman… perhaps I’ll jazz yours up a bit…

        *laughs* Neither can I…

        I don’t see why not! Don’t be so froggist!

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke June 29, 2016 at 13:05

        (Yes, it is! And if it’s not you kick it in the…! Look, you almost had me swear. Definitely a bad influence.)

        He’s awesome! No poking fun. The fellow can shrink or grow whenever he wants. That’d be awesome. Spiderman has a weird suit…but he’s cool. You should really watch Captain America: Civil War… Just saying…

        *shakes head* What should I throw at you this time?

        I’m absolutely a froggist!

      • 41 FictionFan June 29, 2016 at 17:30

        (No, it’s not!! Shins isn’t a swear word!! *glowers*)

        *giggles* Wow! Now that’s a superpower! He’d be incredibly useful in an emergency – like if you had a blockage in a pipe or something! *laughs* Do you promise I’ll like it? Do any horrid little kids sing duets in it??



      • 42 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2016 at 11:09

        (Of course that’s what I was going to say! *looks guilty*)

        He’s amazing. You’d like him. He buys his little girl ugly things. It’s really quite epic. I don’t think so… It’s all action! If you like superheroes…

        *throws cherry chocolate*

      • 43 FictionFan June 30, 2016 at 18:51

        (*narrows eyes*)

        He has a little girl??? What on earth has happened to superheroes these days? Why is it called Captain America if it’s about Antman?

        Just one??!?!? *catches it and stomps off*

      • 44 FictionFan June 29, 2016 at 17:33

        Oooh, Robert Downey Jr’s in it! Have I ever told you how much I adore Robert Downey Jr? He’s sooooooo gorgeous. *swoons, faints, sighs, dreams*

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2016 at 11:10

        He’s IronMan! He’s amazing in it. So funny. Hahahahahahahahaha

  10. 46 John W. Howell June 22, 2016 at 22:58

    Well at least the cherries are still okay.

    • 47 Lady Dunamis June 23, 2016 at 16:35

      I was just about to ask that…lol!

      • 48 John W. Howell June 23, 2016 at 17:31

        Ha ha ha.:-)

    • 49 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2016 at 14:38

      Right. I hope so. I should eat some

      • 50 John W. Howell June 24, 2016 at 19:47

        Yes. A few.

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke June 26, 2016 at 17:31

        What if they’re poisoned?

      • 52 John W. Howell June 26, 2016 at 18:38

        Eat one. Wait. If nothing happens eat more.

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke June 26, 2016 at 19:02

        What if I die from just one?

      • 54 John W. Howell June 26, 2016 at 19:25

        Then you know not to eat the others.

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke June 28, 2016 at 13:15

        And I know nothing else. Dadblameit

      • 56 John W. Howell June 28, 2016 at 13:34

        Ha ha ha

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke June 29, 2016 at 12:58

        Double dadbalmeit, then.

      • 58 John W. Howell June 30, 2016 at 04:02

        Yes double.

      • 59 John W. Howell June 29, 2016 at 01:31

        Good for you.

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke June 29, 2016 at 13:16

        I shall rampage now

      • 61 John W. Howell June 30, 2016 at 03:58

        Rampage away

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2016 at 11:17

        It’ll get ugly!

      • 63 John W. Howell June 30, 2016 at 11:21

        I can almost hear it from here.

Say something...anything...O Punchy Family!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

TPL Schedule

Sunday: OFF — Day of Shalt Nots

Monday: TPL Story

Tuesday: OFF — Because I'm Gone

Wednesday: Professor Speaks

Thursday: OFF — Because Yes

Friday: OFF — All Day Sleep Does

Saturday: OFF — Blue-Footed Boobies Need Fed

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email!

Join 1,868 other followers

Follow The Punchy Lands! on

Blog Stats

  • 115,929 hits

Join the Professor on Twitter!

Professorish Smiley:




Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


%d bloggers like this: