“Look here,” I said, and I must admit my frustration was growing lots and lots, “I’d like to rent this book.”
“Can’t,” she said.
“Why?”
“Because this particular book only has the buy option.”
This professor was standing in a bookstore on a college campus. Let me tell you now–like right now–college books are very expensive. And renting college books is expensive.
Just a little less expensive.
So, I tried from a different angle.
“Check this out, the sudden,” I said, “this book is called ‘The Life, Death & In-Between Space of Dr. Lewis Dayton Clark.'”
“So?” And she pursed her purple lips together (I don’t think they were natural, mind) and put her hands on her hips.
“So,” I concluded, “it follows that no one wants to buy a book about the in-between space of Dr. Lewis Dayton Clark. Therefore, it must be available only to rent.”
There were a few chaps that started to laugh behind me.
The girl pointed a finger in my direction. “You have an attitude. I’m getting the manager.”
And she flounced off.
I left, of course. With the book.
But I ran into the manager and the girl outside.
The manager chap, I must say, was a bit puffy and fat. He was eating something. Must’ve been interrupted. He was cranky, too. Red cheeks, see.
“YOU!” he bellowed. “You’re not allowed to rent that book!”
And he tried to snatch it from my hands.
But this professor being quicker than a snake swimming around in an ice pond, snatched it away before he could gain possession of it.
“Look here,” I said, “look here right now, you puffy, ignorant Yucketh!”
That took him–and her–aback.
“I happen to be a professor. The professor. I told my students they could rent this book. And you…YOU! You dare?! I shall turn you both in to the Union at once.”
So, that’s when everything went downhill.
They didn’t exactly buy my story and I didn’t exactly buy the book.
#Won/Lost
Introducing my new spirit animal!
Hi Professor,
Where have you been?
I’m back I’m back! Just now. How’ve you been?
Welcome back Professor! I missed you😍. Look at you, you handsome man! As for me, I have walking pneumonia.😷😤Staying inside and taking care of myself!
I’m a handsome ant, maybe. A worm, yes. But not a man, you know. I’ve missed you too! Oh no. You get plenty of rest Ms. Vee and soup. And cherries.
LOL! You and your cherries! I made homemade chicken soup today. Thank you Professor! Glad to see you back! Blessings and peace!☺✌💖
Oh that sounds good! I’ll have two bowls, please.
It would be my pleasure. Come and join me. I have dinner at 5:00pm
I hope there are cherries.
Sorry but cherries are out of season. I did have imported blueberries and raspberries.
Oh! I love blueberries, you know.
Me too Professor! 😀
Yums mums!
I’m going to visit Punchy Land a little later, and see if you’ve gotten into any mischief. I know it doesn’t take long!
It happens in a split second. Even a split of a split.
I can’t blink that fast Professor!😉
Hahaha. It’s not THAT hard.
Not in Punchy Land!
It’s rainy here today. Ughs.
It’s raining here too. Better than snow. Make it a good day, and walk between the raindrops!
But…we just got three inches last night!
We got an inch.
That’s pretty considerable. Are you in the eastern part of the US?
Yes, but an inch is just a dusting. Last year this time we had a blizzard. There was 32 inches of snow piled everywhere. It was almost as tall as I am. 😕
Did you go sledding?
No, but ice skating might work well. LOL
That’s too hard.
It is challenging Professor!
I know, I know…
Forget it. I don’t like cold weather.
What if the snow is extra fluffy?
No. It’s still cold. Brrrr
It really is. *sigh*
I’m in NJ visiting, and it’s cold as heck!
Well Professor,
I want to read more about your spirit animal! Maybe you should him to sneak into the bookstore and get your book. The stupid manager and clerk will be so surprised by the animal they won’t notice that he took the book!
Nancy
What is a spirit animal? We so don’t know.
I’m glad you stood your ground at least. Um, interesting spirit animal. It looks feisty.
*laughs* Like me!
So now you are into stealing! Mind you leaving without purchasing or renting is thievery at its finest.
P.S. I killed a little snake that got into my apartment. Didn’t know I had it in me. I am a warrior! ⚔️
Wow! I’m impressed, but not surprised. What sort was it?
Dunno. It was tiny. It could have bit me ya know but I had to channel my inner she-Ra and conquer it.
I’m very proud. Did you try it for supper?
Yuck! No…lik
Did you see the Pats won the AFC East?
Stirring up trouble again, I see. Professor, you’re an instigator! Some colleges rent textbooks; others make you buy them. Either way, it’s expensive (unless, like Holly said, you can get somebody taking the class after you to buy it used). Some try to get away with not buying the books at all, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Too hard to study if you’re sharing books. As for your spirit animal, he looks rather like he has a skin disease that’s causing him to lose his hair. I’d recommend he see a dermatologist.
Dermatologist sounds scary, you know. Very scary.
Are you back??? You’ve been missed, you know! Hope everything is right in your world.
I am! How’ve you been? How’s Dallas, Domer?
So enjoying lunch when a water snake swam between my legs and under the canoe. There followed a conversation about why there weren’t snakes in Finland. “Too bloody cold”, says I, never tiring of being wrong.
You should have caught it and asked it its name, you know, you know.
My spirit animal is a sea cucumber. They’re pretty much a weapon.
*laughs* I might eat that, you know.
Ewwww college. Even with all the scholarships, the price of books is going to kill me!!! *dies*
No, no, you gotta thieve the books.
You, sir, are a dadblamed troublemaker! #hurrah Now, see, tragically I think that’s a totally intriguing title and I now want to read the book! It must be a murder mystery, eh? The question is whodunit? I suspect the wife – it’s nearly always the wife, except when it’s the husband. The in-between space is probably the rat-infested dungeon she held him in before she killed him by making him do excessive amounts of calculus homework… *shudders*
Maybe her purple lips are natural – she could be an alien, infiltrating Pittsboig as a first-step in world domination. You should report her to the FBI just in case…
Hahahahaha…I love how you say Pittsboig. There’s snow here right now, I’ll have you know. And it’s cold. Like 8 degrees or something. Something like that.
We’re having ridiculously midl weather – it’s too hot! Send me a snowman…
It’s going to get warm here again…just in time for Christmas. *cries*
Oh, cheer up and go sing a carol!
Which one?
Back in Black?
Eh? *youtubes* Goodness! No! *bandages ears* That was cruel! I was thinking more Ding Dong Merrily on High…
*laughs* I bet WOB would like it. You know that song???
I bet he does! Men! Yes, I do – it always makes me laugh when you’re surprised that I know a carol… I used to go carol-singing round the geriatric hospital where I worked, you know, you know. I figured these people survived WW2 so my singing couldn’t do them much harm…
I’m sorry, hahahaha! I’m just surprised you’d know that one. Do you know…Joy to the World?
Of course I do – my favourite guitarist even recorded it once – back before he turned into Scrooge and refused to do Christmas videos! *pops off to listen* Still love that, you know, you know…
(Mary Atric’s older brother…)
I forgot about that! So, true story, I’m actually sitting on three finished videos. Just put the finishing touches on the last one. They should be out soon. To scare everyone. Ughs.
(*laughing lots* I love it so much! I think I’ll adopt it, even.)
(Who’s geriatric?)
That should probably be ‘mild’…
Probably or should?
Picky-Chicky!
What is that beast?!
Looks like me a little bit, I’d say
Where have you been, Professor?! Hope you are well. You’ve been missed. Merry Christmas and Happy 2017! xx DD
Merry Christmas, DD! I’ve been away causing trouble. How have you been?
I have been well, Professor! Although I’ve been very neglectful, myself, with blogging. Hard to keep up around the holidays. Good to hear you were busy causing trouble. I wouldn’t expect anything less! And frankly, it would be disappointing if you turned into a saint. They tend to be great bores.
They do, don’t they? Well, I’m back now so you must start blogging harder, or I’ll raise a fuss, hoot, and infraction. I’m not even sure what an infraction is, you know.
I used to buy college books and then sell them to the incoming students. Always have a plan! :)
*laughs* I’m hiring you right now!
I have a spirit animal, as well. It’s the…
Go easy on’em , Duke. They don’t like books much either, you know. I happen to want to own most.
What is it? Must tell!
Ever seen a curly redheaded cow from Scotland? That’s her.
Really! her name?
Probably Lulabelle
I love that name! Actually, that’s my new name.
Well, Lulabelle, I hope you learn to spell it. *laughs *
*laughing* Well, I might misspell it all the time. Accidentally.
It’ll take a lot of determination to do that successfully. *giggle*
But not for me, see.
Cause you have a great memory
Don’t I tho!
I know…
It’s so…manipulative.
Your new spirit animal is rather cute – especially the fact that its tusks look like it has some well groomed cheek whiskers. Educational books are extortionate, they should have plastic pages so you can write notes in them, wipe clean and pass on.
On a separate note, I think I’ll start tagging my posts like you do: ‘death to heathens’ and ‘purple lips’ were particular favourites!
*laughing lots and lots* Love those tags! I’m such a good influence.
May I suggest a soundtrack to your endeavours with your new spirit animal..
https://oddsfiche.bandcamp.com/
It’s my music and I think it will serve your journeys well and perhaps have you indulge in some peanut butter and hard boiled egg delights now and then as I do.
Then whilst enrobed in the finest of silk and brandy perhaps searching one’s soul for the next adventure and your spirit animal lays in wait flipping through your Frank Zappa albums pondering the cover to Ship Arriving too Late to Save a Drowning Witch you could ponder the pages of this please…
https://experienceoddsfiche.wordpress.com/
Yes I am being shameless in promoting myself but as we share the same name I feel kindred in knowing that those eggs won’t go to waste and the brandy will wash down the awful truth that Monday’s bring upon a mid winter’s morn…. wait what? Isn’t it your turn to do the dishes?
Oh, I like it! Very well done. You’re a gifted fellow, I must say. Sorry for my late reply of course. I had no idea you were a professional musician.
No worries Sir! I try my best! LOL But would totally create a soundtrack!!! Lots of free live albums on my bandcamp site should you wish to expand your collection ; ) https://oddsfiche.bandcamp.com
Hope the season is bringing you joy like the rest of the year has done so!
Well thank you sir! It mostly is. I’d like to get a riot in before Christmas.
I think you really showed lots of people in this one. Well done, Old Sport.