The professor Fights

“Look here,” I said, and I must admit my frustration was growing lots and lots, “I’d like to rent this book.”

“Can’t,” she said.

“Why?”

“Because this particular book only has the buy option.”

This professor was standing in a bookstore on a college campus. Let me tell you now–like right now–college books are very expensive. And renting college books is expensive.

Just a little less expensive.

So, I tried from a different angle.

“Check this out, the sudden,” I said, “this book is called ‘The Life, Death & In-Between Space of Dr. Lewis Dayton Clark.'”

“So?” And she pursed her purple lips together (I don’t think they were natural, mind) and put her hands on her hips.

“So,” I concluded, “it follows that no one wants to buy a book about the in-between space of Dr. Lewis Dayton Clark. Therefore, it must be available only to rent.”

There were a few chaps that started to laugh behind me.

The girl pointed a finger in my direction. “You have an attitude. I’m getting the manager.”

And she flounced off.

I left, of course. With the book.

But I ran into the manager and the girl outside.

The manager chap, I must say, was a bit puffy and fat. He was eating something. Must’ve been interrupted. He was cranky, too. Red cheeks, see.

“YOU!” he bellowed. “You’re not allowed to rent that book!”

And he tried to snatch it from my hands.

But this professor being quicker than a snake swimming around in an ice pond, snatched it away before he could gain possession of it.

Check it out! Snake on an ice pond. See, kids, I DO NOT make this stuff up.

Check it out! Snake on an ice pond. See, kids, I DO NOT make this stuff up.

“Look here,” I said, “look here right now, you puffy, ignorant Yucketh!”

That took him–and her–aback.

“I happen to be a professor. The professor. I told my students they could rent this book. And you…YOU! You dare?! I shall turn you both in to the Union at once.”

So, that’s when everything went downhill.

They didn’t exactly buy my story and I didn’t exactly buy the book.

#Won/Lost

Introducing my new spirit animal!

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99 Responses to “The professor Fights”


  1. 1 Ms. Vee November 12, 2016 at 03:30

    Hi Professor,
    Where have you been?

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 15:25

      I’m back I’m back! Just now. How’ve you been?

      • 3 Ms. Vee December 15, 2016 at 15:30

        Welcome back Professor! I missed you😍. Look at you, you handsome man! As for me, I have walking pneumonia.😷😤Staying inside and taking care of myself!

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 19:19

        I’m a handsome ant, maybe. A worm, yes. But not a man, you know. I’ve missed you too! Oh no. You get plenty of rest Ms. Vee and soup. And cherries.

      • 5 Ms. Vee December 15, 2016 at 19:26

        LOL! You and your cherries! I made homemade chicken soup today. Thank you Professor! Glad to see you back! Blessings and peace!☺✌💖

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 19:28

        Oh that sounds good! I’ll have two bowls, please.

      • 7 Ms. Vee December 15, 2016 at 19:49

        It would be my pleasure. Come and join me. I have dinner at 5:00pm

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke December 16, 2016 at 17:04

        I hope there are cherries.

      • 9 Ms. Vee December 16, 2016 at 17:07

        Sorry but cherries are out of season. I did have imported blueberries and raspberries.

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke December 16, 2016 at 17:43

        Oh! I love blueberries, you know.

      • 11 Ms. Vee December 16, 2016 at 17:45

        Me too Professor! 😀

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke December 16, 2016 at 17:46

        Yums mums!

      • 13 Ms. Vee December 16, 2016 at 17:48

        I’m going to visit Punchy Land a little later, and see if you’ve gotten into any mischief. I know it doesn’t take long!

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2016 at 19:26

        It happens in a split second. Even a split of a split.

      • 15 Ms. Vee December 19, 2016 at 20:28

        I can’t blink that fast Professor!😉

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke December 20, 2016 at 19:20

        Hahaha. It’s not THAT hard.

      • 17 Ms. Vee December 20, 2016 at 19:41

        Not in Punchy Land!

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke January 3, 2017 at 19:25

        It’s rainy here today. Ughs.

      • 19 Ms. Vee January 3, 2017 at 20:14

        It’s raining here too. Better than snow. Make it a good day, and walk between the raindrops!

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke January 6, 2017 at 16:17

        But…we just got three inches last night!

      • 21 Ms. Vee January 6, 2017 at 16:34

        We got an inch.

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke January 9, 2017 at 15:24

        That’s pretty considerable. Are you in the eastern part of the US?

      • 23 Ms. Vee January 9, 2017 at 21:08

        Yes, but an inch is just a dusting. Last year this time we had a blizzard. There was 32 inches of snow piled everywhere. It was almost as tall as I am. 😕

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke January 11, 2017 at 14:36

        Did you go sledding?

      • 25 Ms. Vee January 11, 2017 at 23:41

        No, but ice skating might work well. LOL

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:45

        That’s too hard.

      • 27 Ms. Vee January 16, 2017 at 01:47

        It is challenging Professor!

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:49

        I know, I know…

      • 29 Ms. Vee January 16, 2017 at 01:51

        Forget it. I don’t like cold weather.

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:06

        What if the snow is extra fluffy?

      • 31 Ms. Vee January 18, 2017 at 00:54

        No. It’s still cold. Brrrr

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 18:46

        It really is. *sigh*

      • 33 Ms. Vee January 31, 2017 at 15:40

        I’m in NJ visiting, and it’s cold as heck!

  2. 34 Nancy Loderick October 11, 2016 at 16:47

    Well Professor,

    I want to read more about your spirit animal! Maybe you should him to sneak into the bookstore and get your book. The stupid manager and clerk will be so surprised by the animal they won’t notice that he took the book!

    Nancy

    • 35 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 15:25

      What is a spirit animal? We so don’t know.

  3. 36 L. Marie October 3, 2016 at 15:57

    I’m glad you stood your ground at least. Um, interesting spirit animal. It looks feisty.

    • 37 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 15:25

      *laughs* Like me!

  4. 38 Lady Dunamis September 29, 2016 at 20:52

    So now you are into stealing! Mind you leaving without purchasing or renting is thievery at its finest.

    P.S. I killed a little snake that got into my apartment. Didn’t know I had it in me. I am a warrior! ⚔️

    • 39 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 15:24

      Wow! I’m impressed, but not surprised. What sort was it?

      • 40 Lady Dunamis December 15, 2016 at 16:26

        Dunno. It was tiny. It could have bit me ya know but I had to channel my inner she-Ra and conquer it.

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 19:22

        I’m very proud. Did you try it for supper?

      • 42 Lady Dunamis December 16, 2016 at 21:59

        Yuck! No…lik

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2016 at 19:29

        Did you see the Pats won the AFC East?

  5. 44 Debbie September 28, 2016 at 19:29

    Stirring up trouble again, I see. Professor, you’re an instigator! Some colleges rent textbooks; others make you buy them. Either way, it’s expensive (unless, like Holly said, you can get somebody taking the class after you to buy it used). Some try to get away with not buying the books at all, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Too hard to study if you’re sharing books. As for your spirit animal, he looks rather like he has a skin disease that’s causing him to lose his hair. I’d recommend he see a dermatologist.

    • 45 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 15:24

      Dermatologist sounds scary, you know. Very scary.

      • 46 Debbie December 15, 2016 at 16:14

        Are you back??? You’ve been missed, you know! Hope everything is right in your world.

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 19:20

        I am! How’ve you been? How’s Dallas, Domer?

  6. 48 HotBottoms September 26, 2016 at 22:36

    So enjoying lunch when a water snake swam between my legs and under the canoe. There followed a conversation about why there weren’t snakes in Finland. “Too bloody cold”, says I, never tiring of being wrong.

    • 49 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 15:23

      You should have caught it and asked it its name, you know, you know.

  7. 50 Freakishly Fangirlish September 24, 2016 at 22:28

    My spirit animal is a sea cucumber. They’re pretty much a weapon.

    • 51 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 15:23

      *laughs* I might eat that, you know.

  8. 52 Freakishly Fangirlish September 24, 2016 at 22:27

    Ewwww college. Even with all the scholarships, the price of books is going to kill me!!! *dies*

    • 53 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 15:23

      No, no, you gotta thieve the books.

  9. 54 FictionFan September 24, 2016 at 21:06

    You, sir, are a dadblamed troublemaker! #hurrah Now, see, tragically I think that’s a totally intriguing title and I now want to read the book! It must be a murder mystery, eh? The question is whodunit? I suspect the wife – it’s nearly always the wife, except when it’s the husband. The in-between space is probably the rat-infested dungeon she held him in before she killed him by making him do excessive amounts of calculus homework… *shudders*

    Maybe her purple lips are natural – she could be an alien, infiltrating Pittsboig as a first-step in world domination. You should report her to the FBI just in case…

    • 55 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 15:20

      Hahahahaha…I love how you say Pittsboig. There’s snow here right now, I’ll have you know. And it’s cold. Like 8 degrees or something. Something like that.

      • 56 FictionFan December 15, 2016 at 17:29

        We’re having ridiculously midl weather – it’s too hot! Send me a snowman…

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 19:23

        It’s going to get warm here again…just in time for Christmas. *cries*

      • 58 FictionFan December 15, 2016 at 22:39

        Oh, cheer up and go sing a carol!

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke December 16, 2016 at 17:07

        Which one?

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke December 16, 2016 at 17:07

        Back in Black?

      • 61 FictionFan December 17, 2016 at 21:51

        Eh? *youtubes* Goodness! No! *bandages ears* That was cruel! I was thinking more Ding Dong Merrily on High…

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2016 at 19:33

        *laughs* I bet WOB would like it. You know that song???

      • 63 FictionFan December 19, 2016 at 22:34

        I bet he does! Men! Yes, I do – it always makes me laugh when you’re surprised that I know a carol… I used to go carol-singing round the geriatric hospital where I worked, you know, you know. I figured these people survived WW2 so my singing couldn’t do them much harm…

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke December 20, 2016 at 19:29

        I’m sorry, hahahaha! I’m just surprised you’d know that one. Do you know…Joy to the World?

      • 65 FictionFan December 20, 2016 at 22:01

        Of course I do – my favourite guitarist even recorded it once – back before he turned into Scrooge and refused to do Christmas videos! *pops off to listen* Still love that, you know, you know…

        (Mary Atric’s older brother…)

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke January 3, 2017 at 19:29

        I forgot about that! So, true story, I’m actually sitting on three finished videos. Just put the finishing touches on the last one. They should be out soon. To scare everyone. Ughs.

        (*laughing lots* I love it so much! I think I’ll adopt it, even.)

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke December 20, 2016 at 19:29

        (Who’s geriatric?)

      • 68 FictionFan December 15, 2016 at 17:29

        That should probably be ‘mild’…

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 19:24

        Probably or should?

      • 70 FictionFan December 15, 2016 at 22:40

        Picky-Chicky!

  10. 71 Desert Dweller September 24, 2016 at 19:25

    What is that beast?!

    • 72 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 15:19

      Looks like me a little bit, I’d say

      • 73 Desert Dweller December 15, 2016 at 18:43

        Where have you been, Professor?! Hope you are well. You’ve been missed. Merry Christmas and Happy 2017! xx DD

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 19:27

        Merry Christmas, DD! I’ve been away causing trouble. How have you been?

      • 75 Desert Dweller December 16, 2016 at 04:47

        I have been well, Professor! Although I’ve been very neglectful, myself, with blogging. Hard to keep up around the holidays. Good to hear you were busy causing trouble. I wouldn’t expect anything less! And frankly, it would be disappointing if you turned into a saint. They tend to be great bores.

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke December 16, 2016 at 17:41

        They do, don’t they? Well, I’m back now so you must start blogging harder, or I’ll raise a fuss, hoot, and infraction. I’m not even sure what an infraction is, you know.

  11. 77 Heartafire September 24, 2016 at 16:01

    I used to buy college books and then sell them to the incoming students. Always have a plan! :)

    • 78 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 15:19

      *laughs* I’m hiring you right now!

  12. 79 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 24, 2016 at 14:55

    I have a spirit animal, as well. It’s the…
    Go easy on’em , Duke. They don’t like books much either, you know. I happen to want to own most.

    • 80 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 15:19

      What is it? Must tell!

      • 81 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister December 16, 2016 at 05:05

        Ever seen a curly redheaded cow from Scotland? That’s her.

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke December 16, 2016 at 17:42

        Really! her name?

      • 83 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister December 16, 2016 at 21:45

        Probably Lulabelle

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2016 at 19:28

        I love that name! Actually, that’s my new name.

      • 85 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister January 5, 2017 at 15:23

        Well, Lulabelle, I hope you learn to spell it. *laughs *

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke January 6, 2017 at 16:22

        *laughing* Well, I might misspell it all the time. Accidentally.

      • 87 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister January 6, 2017 at 20:16

        It’ll take a lot of determination to do that successfully. *giggle*

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke January 9, 2017 at 15:28

        But not for me, see.

      • 89 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister January 10, 2017 at 23:20

        Cause you have a great memory

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke January 11, 2017 at 14:39

        Don’t I tho!

      • 91 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister January 12, 2017 at 04:28

        I know…

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:46

        It’s so…manipulative.

  13. 93 Haylee September 24, 2016 at 11:05

    Your new spirit animal is rather cute – especially the fact that its tusks look like it has some well groomed cheek whiskers. Educational books are extortionate, they should have plastic pages so you can write notes in them, wipe clean and pass on.
    On a separate note, I think I’ll start tagging my posts like you do: ‘death to heathens’ and ‘purple lips’ were particular favourites!

    • 94 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 15:18

      *laughing lots and lots* Love those tags! I’m such a good influence.

  14. 95 progbeawr831 September 24, 2016 at 03:51

    May I suggest a soundtrack to your endeavours with your new spirit animal..
    https://oddsfiche.bandcamp.com/
    It’s my music and I think it will serve your journeys well and perhaps have you indulge in some peanut butter and hard boiled egg delights now and then as I do.
    Then whilst enrobed in the finest of silk and brandy perhaps searching one’s soul for the next adventure and your spirit animal lays in wait flipping through your Frank Zappa albums pondering the cover to Ship Arriving too Late to Save a Drowning Witch you could ponder the pages of this please…
    https://experienceoddsfiche.wordpress.com/
    Yes I am being shameless in promoting myself but as we share the same name I feel kindred in knowing that those eggs won’t go to waste and the brandy will wash down the awful truth that Monday’s bring upon a mid winter’s morn…. wait what? Isn’t it your turn to do the dishes?

    • 96 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 15:17

      Oh, I like it! Very well done. You’re a gifted fellow, I must say. Sorry for my late reply of course. I had no idea you were a professional musician.

      • 97 progbeawr831 December 15, 2016 at 17:34

        No worries Sir! I try my best! LOL But would totally create a soundtrack!!! Lots of free live albums on my bandcamp site should you wish to expand your collection ; ) https://oddsfiche.bandcamp.com
        Hope the season is bringing you joy like the rest of the year has done so!

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 19:25

        Well thank you sir! It mostly is. I’d like to get a riot in before Christmas.

  15. 99 walt walker September 24, 2016 at 02:05

    I think you really showed lots of people in this one. Well done, Old Sport.


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