The Professor Returns

Many hi’s to you all! (I’m thinking if that should be “hies”, since it looks better. But that reminds me of pies, and we can’t have pies, so let’s forget about this whole thingy.)

How’ve you all been?! I want details. But not too many. Maybe one or one and a half.

You’ll all be excited and dismayed to know that I’m back. The professor has many awful plans, of course. Plans that I’ve not really spoken about too much yet. Or thought about.

Maybe we shouldn’t even call them plans, actually-ish.

I’ll be getting TPL back online in just a bit…a few days, maybe.

In interesting professor news…I actually taught a class on this book! Well, a chapter from this book.


And I learned two important things, of course. (I’m always learning things, you know, you know… This goes to show you even old people can learn things.) 

One, I learned how to spell feminist. Yes, I happen to be the worst speller ever. No judging. Or I might get a complex.

And, two, I learned that this professor can counter-lecture other professors quite effectively. It was an interesting debate.

That’s all.

I shall be around with more useless news, of course.

Since it’s around Christmastime, Merry Dadblameits to you all.

120 Responses to “The Professor Returns”

  1. 1 Ms. Vee December 16, 2016 at 18:56

    Merry Christmas to you too!

  2. 24 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister December 16, 2016 at 05:41

    One can always have pie, even pies. Welcome back to blogging, Professor. Go easy on your people here. I’ve failed most feminist conversations over the years. Glad you’re prospering as a busy one.

  3. 28 walt walker December 16, 2016 at 02:17

    You’re like that other old fellow, Gandalf, the way you disappear forever and reappear when it suits you. Confusticuffs and maltrusions! Persnickeries, too!

  4. 34 Desert Dweller December 15, 2016 at 22:55

    When, what do my wondering eyes should appear? But a wandering professor and all his dadblamery!!!!

    Wonderful to have you back, Sir!! 🤗

  5. 36 kedslover December 15, 2016 at 20:45

    Professor! I missed you! Glad to hear you’re back :)

  6. 44 MissTiffany December 15, 2016 at 19:42

    Since you’re back, I should probably come back too. Been away you see, only popping in occasionally these past few months.
    I am intrigued by this feminist thing.
    Anyways, glad to *see* you again, Professor. I’m going to think of you while I re-read Jane Austen’s Persuasion for Christmas this year.
    P.S. You wouldn’t be up for another Twain-Austen reading challenge, would you? Been a while since I reviewed a book….

    • 45 Professor VJ Duke December 16, 2016 at 17:04

      You should definitely come back right now, young lady! It’s been a crazy year, tho, so I hear you.

      Hahaha. You would never think it of the professor, would you?

      Good to see you gain as well! But that’s not a Christmas book…dadblameit… Aha! I think I might, depending on the Austen book, of course. What is it?

      • 46 MissTiffany December 16, 2016 at 17:12

        I’m working on it, Professor!
        Well for someone who could loath Miss Austen, it is surprising.
        Well no, it isn’t. But I’m feeling particularly drawn to it at the moment. Captain Wentworth writes a mighty fine letter in the end.
        Well, dear Professor, there are only six (not counting her unfinished works and the short stories from her youth)…but I am thinking perhaps…Northanger Abbey. What do you say? Got a dreadful Twain book I could read in exchange?

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke December 16, 2016 at 17:44

        Work harder! *evil professor face*

        Wentworth is a pretty capital name, you know. In fact, if I was British, I’d call myself Wentsworth. A bit different, but still possesses the spice, see. Ohhhhhhhhh…is it a very long one? What Twains have you read? I could make you suffer with one of his journey accounts, but I’m not that mean.

      • 48 MissTiffany December 16, 2016 at 17:52

        “My courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me.”
        Quite capital, if I do say so myself. Wentsworth is also quite spicey, but would you still possess the same great letter-writing skill as Captain Wentworth?
        Actually, it is the shortest of all her novels. (I am occasionally kind like that). I have suffered through Huck Finn, Tom Sawyer (though it’s been years) and of course, your last recommendation of “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court” I actually purchased my own copy of that one, just for the occasion.

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2016 at 19:27

        Is that a JA quote? *professor stare* Probably not. Wentsworth would barely be able to pronounce his last name, I’ll bet, you know.

        Oooo…this is tempting. So, you haven’t read the Prince and the Pauper?

      • 50 MissTiffany December 19, 2016 at 19:36

        Mwahahaha yes it is. *mischievous grin* From P&P, actually. Lizzie to the noble Darcy. Would he not? Poor fellow. No, I have not! Do we have a swap?

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke December 20, 2016 at 19:18

        Wait…you just called Darby noble! Umm….uhh…umm…uhh…is it a long book?

      • 52 MissTiffany December 21, 2016 at 11:11

        I do believe Miss Austen herself described Darcy as having a “noble mien.”
        No Professor, not long. Certainly not any longer than Connecticut Yankee…

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke January 3, 2017 at 19:33

        *laughs* Like a lion! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…P&P and zombies was good, btw.

        Yes, but you deserved that. Rats. I gotta see if I have the book…minute one…

      • 54 MissTiffany January 4, 2017 at 18:18

        Oh, did you enjoy that? Good. But some Austen than none, I think. I thought it was merely “ok”. But having such a deep love for the original and also some disdain for zombies, you can understand my sentiment.
        *scoffs* No one deserves such cruelty as that! BTW, I got my copy of Prince and the Pauper yesterday. Mercifully thinner than the last one! Haha!

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke January 6, 2017 at 16:21

        I sorta enjoyed when Darby died. Or was it Liz? I forget. But lots of people died and I thought it was funny, too. Yeah, I hate zombies. Disgusting.

        It is! Now I just have to find my…what’s it called again?

      • 56 MissTiffany January 8, 2017 at 13:13

        Hmm, I think you’d better watch again. Neither Darcy or Elizabeth died (though they could have). They were just too good at kicking zombie but.
        I suppose I just don’t “get” zombies. Undead who can’t think, only act on primal instinct? And often it’s only the huge number of them swarming in that makes the struggle so difficult. That and well, it probably would be hard to just cut the head off of a human (sort of) looking person. I certainly haven’t had any practice. But still, I’m afraid I’m just not impressed.
        Northanger Abbey, Professor!

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke January 9, 2017 at 15:34

        The zombies were dreadfully prepared to battle, though. Maybe I should, haha.

        Same here. Unless, of course, the zombies got a leader who was rather epic and charming, in the sense that he killed maybe 1000 humans. That way, he’d be scarier. They need a leader. That’s what it is.

        Quite right. Getting on it

      • 58 MissTiffany January 9, 2017 at 15:59

        In the second book of P&P & Zombies, called Dreadfully Ever After, I believe old Wickham may have been involved with leading the zombies, actually. Though I’m not sure how charming he still was after losing his legs and arms, which was what happened. I think. It’s been several years since i read these books last. Did you know that not only was there a sequel, but also a prequel? Called Dawn of the Dreadfuls. But only one movie though. That’s all audiences could take.
        Looking forward to it, Professor!

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke January 11, 2017 at 14:32

        I had no idea there was that many books! Wickham was never charming of course.

      • 60 MissTiffany January 11, 2017 at 16:10

        They went a little overboard, I think.
        No, I never thought so.

      • 62 MissTiffany January 16, 2017 at 14:34

        No, he is not charming. But if you read all of Miss Austen’s novels, you will come to realize that she despises and mistrusts charm, for it often is hiding some serious lack of principle and good character in a person, which is infinitely more important and attractive. It is only after Lizzie sees Darcy behaving with such kindness and thoughtfulness at Pemberley that she begins to love him. Oh, I could speak for hours on this subject. *sighs happily*

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:10

        Yes, but he only does that because he wants to marry her….so that doesn’t count!

      • 64 MissTiffany January 18, 2017 at 13:45

        Oh it doesn’t?! But he didn’t even know she would ever want to marry him, even if he was “pretending” to be charming. He wasn’t even going to tell her about his involvement in saving her sister Lydia. I think it must count.

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 19:00

        Nah, I bet he had the info leak on purpose. It’s his style, see.

      • 66 MissTiffany January 30, 2017 at 13:46

        There is something to that. I mean, he knows the Bennet family well enough to know that Lydia couldn’t possibly keep a secret…
        So I guess I do see.

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke January 30, 2017 at 23:43

        So…does this possibly mean he’s a rogue? Which sorta makes me like him more…goodness.

      • 68 MissTiffany January 31, 2017 at 15:48

        He’d be a high-class rogue if he was one.

  7. 69 Haylee December 15, 2016 at 19:03

    Already said this on Twitter but whoop whoop to your return. I hope it is more long term though and not just so you stay on people’s Christmas lists ;) Have missed you and your crazy ramblings!

  8. 83 Alastair Savage December 15, 2016 at 17:08

    Yes, I remember you from somewhere but where was it now? No, it’s gone …

  9. 85 Heartafire December 15, 2016 at 16:34

    Is this a ploy to get Christmas presents? As a raging feminist I welcome you aboard though you are not allowed to speak until spoken to, it’s the way of the clan. sorry. Cherries are in the mail.

  10. 95 Debbie December 15, 2016 at 16:23

    Just like you, Professor, to disappear without a single dadblame word for weeks on end, then poof! there you are (again, without a good explanation of your absence). Oh, well, it is what it is, and some of us (well, probably MOST of us) are pleased to see you back here, however you choose to appear! Now the big question is, Are you back for good, or is this just a way to tease us?? *waits impatiently while tapping toes and looking askance*

  11. 99 FictionFan December 15, 2016 at 16:21


    Where’ve ya been??? How’ve ya been??? Are you still stuck up in space with only a jar of cherries between you and starvation????

    I’m SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad you’ve become a feminist! You can join my feminist workshop now, where we plot all kinds of ways to make silly men look even sillier (not a hard task, it must be said *chuckles wickedly*).

    But you can’t have an afro, I fear – just imagine what that profusion of kisscurls would do to poor FF’s tender little heart… *swoons and falls off chair*

    • 100 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2016 at 19:21

      Yeah…well, it’s been an adventure. I’ll have to fix that story. And…try to plan a Christmas chat! Like that will work, but one must try crazy things in order to stay sane. That’s pretty good. Put that on my lunchbox.

      Bet you don’t even know who bell hooks is, do you?! Hahahaha. #win

      Why not! *stomps foot* hooks has one! I wants one.

      • 101 FictionFan December 15, 2016 at 22:38

        A Christmas chat??? Urghh!!! Go away again…!!! *holds onto his sleeve to stop him going*

        I don’t, but I bet she doesn’t know who I am either! #doublewin

        Look, Prof, you’ve clearly forgotten the rules. What you want is only half as important as what I want, and I have complete editorial control over the Professorial hairdo. Got it? Good!

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke December 16, 2016 at 17:07

        A Christmas chat! We can talk about the Krampus and why he’s actually the good guy and Santa is the bad guy. See. I turn the world upside downs… I shan’t go for a bit, yet.

        *laughs* This is true, you fake feminist! I think you should maybe get in charge of her TBR…hey, did you ever finish Moby Dick?

        *holds ears* I only listen when you call me CWW.

      • 103 FictionFan December 17, 2016 at 21:48

        No!!! But we could talk about how gorgeous Darby would look in a Santa outfit… with the Professor as one of his elves! Ho! Ho! Ho!

        (You broke my internet, BTW! There I was, happily chit-chatting to you, when boom! It died! You did it deliberately, I bet…)

        FAKE?!?!?!??? How dare you, sir?! The sisterhood will be paying you a visit shortly. Tremble!! *laughs* Yes, I did! D’you know, it was so awful I couldn’t even bring myself to put it on your TBR…

        Awww! But see, I only call you C-W-W (note the hyphens, BTW – v. important) when you’re nice to me…

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke December 19, 2016 at 19:32

        *laughs* Darby as Santa! Now that’s something that would look ridiculous, I must say. Maybe even a bit like a…well, I won’t say it, since I’m a right and proper sort of person, usually. I’ve been slipping as of late, of course.

        (It died! Goodness. I am sorry. But I…couldn’t have caused it! I’m internet safe, you know.)

        Sisterhood sounds like Valak from the Conjuring 2!!!!! *is scared* Well, at least you care about me a little bits.

        Hyphens! Yeah, I thought it looked weird like CWW…why the hyphens?

      • 105 FictionFan December 19, 2016 at 22:30

        More ridiculous than the Professor as an elf? Hmm… *muses* Oh, you slipped long, long ago…

        (It was you!)

        I don’t know Valak, but you’re right to be scared! I do! Little bits…

        Because you’re worth two extra keystrokes…

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke December 20, 2016 at 19:26

        I might already be an elf, and I just haven’t told you yet. What about that?

        (Was not! I’m not so mean.)


        Here she is for your viewing pleasure…

      • 107 FictionFan December 20, 2016 at 21:55

        I suspect that may be true! That must be why you wear that hat – to hide your ears!!

        (Hmm… OK, I believe you…)

        *nods vehemently* Sometimes, sir!!

        Ooh, she looks nice! I really must watch that film sometime. I’ll get Tuppence to sit with me so I don’t get scared…

      • 108 Professor VJ Duke January 3, 2017 at 19:28

        I haven’t worn a hat in ages, but…I have a Pats beanie now. *is proud*

        I suppose that’s better than never, dadblameit.

        You should. The music is creepy. I’ll watch it again!

  12. 110 Lady Dunamis December 15, 2016 at 16:05

    Well, look who decided to show up for Christmas. Do I need to send you some Christmas shorts to get you inspired to write again?

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Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

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