Holiday Cut Short

The beating of your heart reminds you you only have so long to beat.

~ V. Shnodgrate, Renowned PL Poet

UntitledI woke up somewhat tired and somewhat sleepy.

Isn’t that an annoying thing?

It always annoys this professor.

I mean, why can’t I wake up somewhat not-tired and somewhat not-sleepy?

The land is against us, I fear.

Anyways and some, it was a cold day where the professor currently was messing about in the Punchy Lands.

Very much so like this.

This is where I was. Sorta looked like this. Look–a bird! I think it’s a Cardinal. Must be Catholic. #badjoke

I was at a ski resort, see. In truth, this is true: the lodge looked like a bunch of tinker toys.

The professor was spending the holiday at the resort, and it was a definite interest.

You see, that’s because the professor can’t ski.

Well, I’ve never skied before, I suppose.

I just like to go to ski resorts just to hang out and think about skiing. One of my fav pastimes, you know. #mostlytrue

Anyways, the professor had just woken up. I wrapped myself in a red Pats hoodie…

Like this.

Like this.

…and left my room to explore.

The lodge was pretty busy downstairs, and it wasn’t long until this professor ran into Daddy Salami and his son, Ruber. (I’ve known Salami and Ruber for a bit now. Always up to no good. I think they live in England. And I think Salami used to be a knight.)

They were sitting at a table, finishing breakfast.

Of course, this professor being the adventurer he is, joined them quicker than a tadpole popping out of a…

…well, you know what I mean.

“Gentlemen,” I said.

Salami’s green eyes flashed. “We ain’t, gentlemen, ya turtle. Now sit down. I have sumtin’ important ta tell ya.”

Was he expecting me? Nah…

Ruber chuckled as ripped two pieces of bacon up and plopped the pieces into his coffee. And, yes, he did drink the whole thing. In one gulp. #impressive

“What is it, not-gentlemen?”

“Shut-up!” Salami snapped. “And be quiet. It’s a secret.”

Then he leaned close: “We were one man down on our mission, but then ya showed up, and yure gonna help us.”

“Or we’ll pluck yo eyes out,” Ruber added, in his English accent.

“Come on,” Salami said.

They both stood.

“What are we…?” I ventured.

“Knocking somebody off,” Ruber said. “Get your skis.”

“Count Mastroid has ta die,” Salami added.

“He’ll be on the slopes soon,” Ruber said. “We’ll get him then.”

Salami laughed, obviously excited. “See ya in front of da lodge in twenty minutes, cur-face, or I’ll cut yure face out and use it as a wall decoration.”

A mission on the slopes sounded fun. But knocking someone off? Warriors don’t do that sort of thing.

Plus, the professor can’t ski…

PL Symbol


82 Responses to “Holiday Cut Short”

  1. 1 jthenovice January 12, 2017 at 22:27

    Just go and meet them. It could be scary if you have to wear skis though. And it looks like you are up at the top. Just a warning ……

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:47

      See! I should’ve bought that cup and tried it out, huh?

      • 3 jthenovice January 16, 2017 at 21:15


      • 4 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:20

        Oh come on! That was an adventure of a lifetime.

      • 5 jthenovice January 19, 2017 at 18:42

        Yes, you are correct. It truly was!

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 19:08

        Do you play tennis?

      • 7 jthenovice January 29, 2017 at 15:22

        Well, yes I do. I started during the summer with five lessons, then picked up again in fall.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke January 30, 2017 at 23:40

        I’m starting too. I thought you did. It’s fun huh?

      • 9 jthenovice January 31, 2017 at 14:35

        It is fun, really fun. I don’t understand the game yet —too early. But if I stick with it, I think it will become more and more fun, Professor. It’s the mental aspect!

  2. 10 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister January 10, 2017 at 23:50

    How exciting. A trip! Just be careful with those two. Take Magi with you, maybe.

    • 11 Professor VJ Duke January 11, 2017 at 14:39

      Should I maybe not go?

      • 12 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister January 12, 2017 at 04:27

        Are you asking me of you should or not? Completely out of character for you, you know.

      • 13 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:45

        It is not!!

  3. 14 Jackie January 10, 2017 at 18:32

    Everything must come to an end.

    • 15 Professor VJ Duke January 11, 2017 at 14:39


      • 16 Jackie January 11, 2017 at 14:59

        Every beginning has an end. Every end, a new beginning.

      • 17 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:36

        Well, if every end has a beginning, doesn’t that mean it never ends?

      • 18 Jackie January 16, 2017 at 01:41

        That’s correct!

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:48

        I am every so often.

  4. 20 walt walker January 10, 2017 at 03:45

    Is that a Stay-Puft hoodie? It looks a little inflatable.

    • 21 Professor VJ Duke January 11, 2017 at 14:38

      I’m going to have to tackle you now, I fear.

      • 22 walt walker January 11, 2017 at 14:45

        No, you might get grass on it!

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:35

        Like, so…what!

  5. 24 Heartafire January 9, 2017 at 21:17

    I really love your new background…so punchy! I can imagine living in that round castle there. That face on the wall thing, how would one go about hack…creating one of those.

    • 25 Professor VJ Duke January 11, 2017 at 14:37

      You should go and stay there. That’s Punchy Castle, I think, or something like that. Well, you’d have to cut my face off, I suppose. That’s ghastly isn’t it?

      • 26 Heartafire January 11, 2017 at 15:40

        hmmm, where’s the katana. Yes, we are ghastly people.

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:39

        I’m the worst, tho. I left it in the subway.

      • 28 Heartafire January 16, 2017 at 02:13

        Visions of Hanibel? Chills.

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:06

        Is that the chap who attacked Rome?

      • 30 Heartafire January 18, 2017 at 01:22

        Yes that’s him (snicker)

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 18:49

        Tackle him!

      • 32 Heartafire January 28, 2017 at 18:56

        I’m on it…quick, the katana.

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 19:09

        As long as you promise not to break it…

      • 34 Heartafire January 28, 2017 at 19:10

        I would never do such a thing, the katana is sacred.

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke January 30, 2017 at 23:38

        Do you think I should get a red one?

      • 36 Heartafire January 31, 2017 at 02:07

        Yes, red is your color!

  6. 37 John W. Howell January 9, 2017 at 21:07

    Maybe the skis will come in handy to smack the bloke. I’d play along for now.

    • 38 Professor VJ Duke January 11, 2017 at 14:36

      Ohhh…so you mean, go and meet them?

      • 39 John W. Howell January 11, 2017 at 23:02

        Yeah, of course. How else are you going to find out what is going on.

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:44

        I was hoping you could tell me.

      • 41 John W. Howell January 16, 2017 at 15:28

        I just got here. You are the expert. :-)

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:16

        Me? Expert? Lies, I tell you!

      • 43 John W. Howell January 18, 2017 at 01:24

        Sorry. You are the only one around here called professor.

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 18:49

        I’m the only real professor, too, you know.

      • 45 John W. Howell January 28, 2017 at 20:04

        So true.

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke January 30, 2017 at 23:39

        These other ones are so fake.

      • 47 John W. Howell January 31, 2017 at 01:20

        There is only one Professor. You.

  7. 48 FictionFan January 9, 2017 at 19:10

    I see old Shnoddy hasn’t managed to cheer up any during his break…

    Well, Prof, you should know by now nothing good will come of hanging around with DS and Ruber! Actually, if DS does rip your face off and turn it into a wall decoration, please let him know I’d quite like to have it. I have an empty space on my wall and it’d be great for my peashooting practice…

    • 49 Professor VJ Duke January 11, 2017 at 14:36

      Oh how you rip on the poor old chap.

      *laughs* You’re so cruel. But the good news is I’m thinking about not going to meet them! What think ye of that?

      • 50 FictionFan January 11, 2017 at 15:20

        Oh, he deserves it! He needs to eat more cake…

        I don’t know what to think! On the one hand it seems like a wise decision, hence most unlike you! On the other hand, it would give you time to POST A VIDEO ON YOUTUBE!!!

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:38

        I Just had cake yesterday as a treat, can you believe! It was sooooooooooo good.

        Which I did, btw!

      • 52 FictionFan January 16, 2017 at 16:48

        *nods* Cake is one of the major food groups…

        Yes, you did!!!!! Now for the other two…

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:18

        It is…goodness, I can’t think like that. Too dangerous!

        Well, I”m trying to get a channel to put them out for me.

      • 54 FictionFan January 18, 2017 at 01:59

        Poor little cakes – imagine how they feel when you keep ignoring them… *sobs*

        Eh? Why?

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 18:53

        *holds ears and eyes and nose and mouth*

        Because I’ve grown fat and lazy, haha.

  8. 56 Lucy Brazier January 9, 2017 at 16:31

    If DS and Ruber are living in England, do tell them to pop over to mine for some tea!

    • 57 Professor VJ Duke January 11, 2017 at 14:33

      Are you sure about that?

      • 58 Lucy Brazier January 11, 2017 at 14:51

        Oh yes. I still hope that DS will adopt me.

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:35

        He might eat you.

      • 60 Lucy Brazier January 16, 2017 at 07:08

        Oh my. I am probably too gristly to eat.

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:06

        That’s a good thing, tho, right?

      • 62 Lucy Brazier January 18, 2017 at 07:02

        Most definitely. Otherwise I might be munched up just walking down the street. I am snack-sized, after all.

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 18:57

        Nah. I don’t believe it. Tho snack sized things are good you know.

  9. 64 Susan P January 9, 2017 at 16:14

    You will be in treble.

    • 65 Professor VJ Duke January 11, 2017 at 14:33

      I’ve been living in treble all these years.

      • 66 Susan P January 11, 2017 at 21:09

        And the the trouble with tribbles…

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:43

        I happen to be a tribble, madam.

      • 68 Susan P January 16, 2017 at 14:19

        How do you think I knew it?

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:10

        A good guess?

      • 70 Susan P January 18, 2017 at 13:43

        You would like to think that, would you?

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 18:59

        I really would. Can I?

      • 72 Susan P January 29, 2017 at 15:53

        First, you have cross the river.

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke January 30, 2017 at 23:40

        Is it deep?

      • 74 Susan P February 1, 2017 at 14:53

        It is a piece of cake.

  10. 75 MissTiffany January 9, 2017 at 16:11

    Oh dear. Sounds like quite the situation, and not the best for someone who doesn’t know how to ski. #dilemma Perhaps your inexperience will be good though. #notreally Make the whole thing look like an accident. Which it will be, of course, since you didn’t know what you were doing. But still, I think I would be finding a way to escape. Best not to do it in the Pats hoodie though. Bit conspicuous. (all that red). #loseit

    P.S. I chuckled a bit at your #badjoke.

    • 76 Professor VJ Duke January 11, 2017 at 14:33

      *laughing lots* I like the #loseit part. You’re probably right. All black won’t be good tho either, will it? Not sure I have white. This is a sticky wicket. I’m not at all sure what to do. Maybe not meet them out there? Just hide?

      • 77 MissTiffany January 11, 2017 at 16:15

        *grins* Oh no. Not all black. If you don’t have white, I am afraid you will just have to make a dash for it. Perhaps wait until you are outside in the snow. Feign seeing Count Mastroid and point to a spot directly into the sun. Salami and Ruber will be so dazzled for a moment you can slip away. I’d still lose the red though, since they’ve seen you in it. They’ll probably be looking for you.

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:41

        You have such an excellent point. I think I’ll do it. That is, if I decide not to be a beast and capture the Count. That’s tempting, you know…

      • 79 MissTiffany January 16, 2017 at 14:31

        Oh, why would you do such a wicked thing? What has the Count ever done to you?

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:10

        But I’m heartless, remember. Aren’t heartless people supposed to do such things?

      • 81 MissTiffany January 18, 2017 at 13:44

        Oh. I had forgotten about that. Well I suppose a heartless person would do as you have done.

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 19:00

        See? I’m so powerful and great.

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Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


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